Эпизод, где Моника берёт новую соседку

00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:55,137

Да брось,

ты с ним встречаешься.

00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,848

Наверняка какой-нибудь жуткий урод.

00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,933

Почему урод? Ну слегка горбатый,

чуть плешивый.

00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:03,771

А он тебя сырое мясо

есть не заставляет?

00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:08,233

Я помню со своим

Карлом так измучалась...

00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:11,236

Ну всё, успокойтесь.

Это даже не свидание.

00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:14,406

Просто договорились вместе поужинать.

И никакого секса!

00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,158

Нет секса - значит нет свидания.

00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:21,872

Ну так вот, мне снится, что я снова в школе

стою в столовой...

00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:25,417

...и вдруг вижу, что я совершненно голый.

00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,169

-Мне всегда это снится.

00:01:27,378 --> 00:01:31,465

Потом опускаю глаза,

а у меня телефон...

00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,009

...там.

00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,845

-Вместо...

-Да-да, вместо!

00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,555

Такое даже мне не снилось.

00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:42,851

И вдруг этот телефон

начинает звонить.

00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,812

Снимаю трубку, а там президент.

00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:50,859

Очень странный сон, очень.

Ведь президент мне никогда не звонит.

00:01:55,865 --> 00:01:57,783

Привет.

00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,954

От такого "привета"

повеситься можно.

00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,413

Что с тобой, дорогой?

00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:08,335

Знаешь, такое чувство,

будто меня поезд переехал, никогда не было так...

00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:11,380

...паршиво, просто жить не хочется.

- Пирожное будешь?

00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,883

От него сегодня Кэрол ушла.

00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:18,095

- Сейчас я тебе кофейку налью

- Спасибо.

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Вот...вот только не надо

чистить мою ауру.

00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,773

Ради бога, с моим полем всё в порядке.

Я не пропаду.

00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:34,653

Для меня главное,

чтобы она была счастлива.

00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,155

- Ты серьёзно?

- Конечно нет.

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Чёрт возьми! Она же меня бросила.

00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,160

А ты что, правда не знал, что она лесбиянка?

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Нет! Не знал!

00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,335

Что вы все на этом зациклились?

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Как я мог знать, если она сама не знала?

00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:59,261

Иногда я так жалею, что я не лесбиянка.

00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,890

Я что это вслух сказал?

00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:08,896

Послушай, Росс. Я понимаю, тебе больно.

00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:11,481

Ты оскорблён. Ты обижен.

00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,942

Но от этих душевных мук есть хорошее средство.

00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,444

Стриптиз!

00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,948

Ты же теперь свободен, пойди,

тряхни гормонами.

00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,451

Я не хочу быть свободным, ясно?

00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:25,829

Я хочу по-прежнему быть женатым.

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А я хочу миллион долларов!

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Рэйчел?

00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,175

О Моника, ты здесь, слава Богу!

00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:41,511

Я зашла к тебе домой, а тебя нет,

хорошо там был какой-то парень с молотком, он мне сказал...

00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,889

...что ты здесь.

00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:47,643

- Кофе не желаете?

- Только ей без кофеина.

00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:52,189

Ребята, это Рейчел, ещё одна жертва

нашей средней школы.

00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,900

Знакомьтесь, это Чандлер, Фиби...

00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:57,361

...и Джоуи. И...надеюсь

моего брата Росса ты помнишь?

00:03:57,528 --> 00:03:58,654

- Конечно!

- Привет!

00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:00,739

- Привет!

- О, Боже..

00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:12,125

Ну, сама всё расскажешь,

или будем ждать зарёванных подружек невесты?

00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:19,341

О Боже, всё случилось буквально

за полчаса до венчания.

00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,927

Я зашла в комнату, где были подарки...

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...и взяла в руки соусник...

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...обычный обеденный соусник.

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И тут внезапно...

Мне с сахаром!

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- И вдруг я поняла...

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...что даже этот несчастный соусник

вызывает у меня больше эмоций,

чем мой жених Барри.

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А потом я заметила, что если приглядеться,

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у него голова вообще

похожа на брюкву.

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То есть я это и раньше видела, но...

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В общем я понял - надо удирать

, и как можно скорее.

00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:55,127

В голове у меня стучало одно "Зачем, зачем, зачем я это делаю?"

00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:59,673

Я не знала куда бежать

и вспомнила о тебе...

00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,718

...ведь ты единственая, кто живёт поблизости.

00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,594

И кого ты даже не пригласила на свадьбу.

00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,889

Я предчувствовала, чем всё это закончится.

00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:24,573

Насколько я поняла,

он опять переспал с её кузиной...

00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:27,200

...а она опять не довльна

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Нет, папа, я не могу...

не могу снова выйти за него.

00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,332

Прости, но...

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Я его не люблю.

00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:39,504

Это важно для меня.

00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,384

А вот если бы она была в бекини...

00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,554

Да спихни ты её с лестницы!

00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:50,974

Спихни! Спихни! Спихни!

00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:57,230

Папа, ну выслушай меня!

00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,985

Представь, что тебе всю жизнь твердят,

"Ты калоша!

00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,237

Ты калоша! Ты калоша! Ты калоша!"

00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:07,616

Ну ты и знаешь про себя - да, ты калоша.

00:06:07,825 --> 00:06:10,994

Но однажды ты просыпаешь и говоришь -

всё, хватит, больше я вам не калоша.

00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:12,954

Отныне я... шляпа!

00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:16,416

Да не нужна мне шляпа,

я говорю отныне я шляпа.

00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:18,794

Папа, это же метафора!

00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,381

За метафору могут и пристрелить.

00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,511

Папа, это моя жизнь.

00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:31,306

А может мне вообще

остаться жить у Моники?

00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,812

Даа, для Моники это будет

большое счастье.

00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,691

А может быть я так решила.

00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:44,528

А может быть я не хочу твоих денег.

00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:46,947

Подожди, я сказала может быть!

00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,123

Дыши. Дыши глубже...вот так.

00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:58,792

И думай о чём-то хорошем.

00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:02,879

Розы в росе, и котята, и кролечки...

00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:07,217

Варежки, шубка, дуга, колокольчики...

00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:11,346

Тра-ля-ля-ля ...там же супик с лапшой.

00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,390

Всё, мне уже лучше.

00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:17,185

Помогла.

00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,189

Что Бог не делает - всё к лучшему.

00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:24,067

Ты не зависима, ты сама себе хозяйка.

В общем, ты шляпа.

00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:28,613

А в случае чего

заходи к дядюшке Джо.

00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:32,200

Наша с Чандлером двеот напротив,

и он редко бывает дома.

00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:36,621

Нашёл время приставать!

У человека сегодня свадьба.

00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,790

Так я и хотел её утешить...

00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:44,880

Ради бога, не издавайте

таких ужасных звуков.

00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:47,466

Это я, Пол.

00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:50,051

- Кто это Пол?

- Это тот, который красавчик?

00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,303

Возможно.

00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:54,806

Ты же говорила свидание без секса.

Зачем тебе тогда этот красавчик?

00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,808

- Он тебя всё-таки пригласил?

- Да.

00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,768

Какой счастливый день...

00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,813

Рэйчел, прости, я могу отменить.

00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:03,857

Ну что ты, иди конечно.

00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,736

Ну а ты, может ты хочешь

чтобы я осталась?

00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,739

Конечно хочу.

00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:14,868

- Что, правда?

- Да ладно, иди, раз это сам красавчик...

00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:21,124

Привет Пол, проходи.

Знакомься, это...

00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,544

...все.

Все, это Пол.

00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,046

Привет, красавчик.

00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:30,091

Извините, не расслышал, как вас зовут?

Кажется, Пол?

00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,053

- Садись пожалуйста, я мигом.

- Ладно.

00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:40,310

Я вытащила 4 ресницы -

плохая примета.

00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,731

Рэйчел, а у тебя какие планы на вечер?

00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:49,110

Должна была уехать на Рубу

в свадебное путешествие, так что...

00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:50,320

...никаких.

00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,950

Бедняжка, теперь у тебя даже

не будет медового месяца - кошмар!

00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:03,166

Прости...

00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,674

Знаешь, если не хочется быть одной,

то поехали ко мне.

00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,718

Джо и Чандлер тоже приедут -

хотят помочь собрать мне новую мебель.

00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:17,055

Просто мечтаю...

00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,559

Да нет, спасибо,

пожалуй я побуду здесь.

00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:22,769

- Что-то я устала.

- Ну, как знаешь.

00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:24,271

Фиби, ты не хотела бы нам помочь?

00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,648

Я бы очень хотела, только неохота.

00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:39,286

Так...возьмите переднюю панель...

00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:42,247

...и маленькими шурупами привинтите

её к боковым панелям.

00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:48,169

Не знаю где все эти панели и шурупы...

00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:51,423

...но знаю одно - мои ноги уже не разгибаются.

00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,050

А это что?

00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:57,262

Понятия не имею

00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,558

- Ну, мы закончили.

- Порядок.

00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:06,938

Любимое пиво Кэрол.

00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,693

Она так красиво пила из банки.

00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:15,071

Росс, один нескромный вопрос...

00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:19,451

Она забрала мебель, стерео,

отличный телевизор...

00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,660

А тебе хоть что-то оставила?

00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,037

Вас.

00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:24,289

- Немного.

-Тебя нажгли.

00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:28,793

- Господи Боже.

- Да знаю, знаю - я идиот.

00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:33,882

Должен был сразу догадаться когда она по 5 раз

в неделю стала ходить к зубному.

00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,259

Это сколько зубов надо иметь?

00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,845

Знаешь, моего брата сейчас жена бросила.

Он в дикой депрессии.

00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,680

А как ты с этим справлялся?

00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:44,392

Очень помогает если взять то,

что ей дорого, и сломать.

00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,144

- Ну скажем...

- Ногу?

00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,229

А что, это мысль.

00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,315

Но я ограничился часами.

00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,651

Ты разбил её часы?

00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:56,363

Барри, прости меня. Прости.

00:10:56,614 --> 00:11:01,534

И главное - ты не думай, это не из-за того,

что ты похож на брюкву.

00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:04,537

Ну похож и похож...

Ты пойми, всё дело во мне. Я...

00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:14,631

Опять разъединилось. Ты пойми...

00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:20,512

Знаете, меня очень пугает одна мысль...

Что, если каждому в жизни предназначена

только одна женщина?

00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:24,057

И если он её потерял, то уже всё...

00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:29,104

Вот скажем я, ведь у меня только

одна женщина и была. Была и нет...

00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:32,816

Ты что вообще? Одна женщина?

00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:37,028

Скажи ещё, что каждому предназначен только

один сорт пива...или мороженого.

00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:40,949

Сортов же полно, Росс.

00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:45,578

И шоколадное, и марцепановое.

И, между нами, ванильно-вишнёвое.

00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:50,709

Хочешь с ликёром, хочешь с орехами,

хочешь со взбитыми сливками...

00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,628

Да то, что с тобой произошло - это счастье.

00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,673

Ты был женат всего 8 месяцев.

00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:02,637

Хватит, возвращайся к нашему холостяцкому столу.

Хватай ложку.

00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,348

Дааа...честно говоря, я и так сыт по горло.

00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,183

Тогда отойди от холодильника.

00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:14,357

С тех пор, как она от меня ушла, я...

00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,651

Что?

00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,653

Что, ты не можешь говорить откровенно?

00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:22,449

Просто есть вещи, о которых трудно говорить.

Да ещё и на первом свидании.

00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:26,286

Да...ты думаешь у нас будет второе?

00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,497

А ты как думаешь?

00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:31,875

Даа... пожалуй.

00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,420

Так что ты хотел сказать?

00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:39,174

Понимаешь...

00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:42,552

С тех пор, как она ушла...

00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,973

...у меня ничего не получается.

00:12:47,224 --> 00:12:48,433

...всмысле секса.

00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:52,812

Ой, прости-прости-прости...

00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,230

- Я извиняюсь.

- Да ладно.

00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,859

Ты не подумай, я не из-за этого тебя опплевала.

00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,196

И давно?

00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:02,822

Два года.

00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:08,411

Ты молодец, что разбил её часы.

00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:13,792

И ты не откажешься от второго свидания?

00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,338

Нет.

00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,340

Не откажусь.

00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:24,886

Я Джоана, беру тебя, Чарльза, в супруги...

00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,473

Берёшь ли ты Джоану...

- Ну как же так.

00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:33,853

Ведь Джоана любит Чачи.

00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:36,773

"Какой ужас!"

00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:39,609

Хватай ложку.

Я вообще забыл как её в руках держать.

00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:42,946

Это вы мастера по столовой ложке

три раза в день?

00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:49,702

Да дело вовсе не в этом.

Я бы тоже мог пригласить...

00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,413

кого-то на свидание...

00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:55,291

...только кого пригласить...

00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:17,981

Потрясающе.

00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:20,483

Я впервые в жизни сварила кофе.

00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:23,152

- Да, это великий день.

- Поздравляю.

00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:28,074

Ну, раз уж ты так завелась,

то может ещё и омлет сделаешь?

00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:34,455

Впрочем, я не так уж голоден.

00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,708

- Доброе утро.

Доброе утро.

00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,501

- Доброе утро.

Доброе утро.

00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,588

- Доброе утро.

Доброе утро, Пол.

00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:44,966

- Привет, Пол.

- Привет, Пол, кажется?

00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:51,848

Всё было так здорово.

00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,892

Спасибо. Я так тебе благодарен.

00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,478

- Мы ещё поговорим.

- Да.

00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,985

Непременно.

00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:12,619

Так значит никакого секса...

00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:16,164

А чем же ты тогда на свиданиях занимаешься?

00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:20,501

- Заткнитесь и поставьте стол на место.

Еееесть!

00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:22,545

Ну всё, детки - мне пора на службу.

00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:28,259

Если я вовремя не введу данные в компьютер -

никто и не заметит

00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,431

Так значит, вы все работаете?

00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:35,892

Да, работаем.

00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,728

Иначе жили бы мы так шикарно.

00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:41,648

Вот я актёр.

00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:44,067

Правда...а может быть я тебя

где-нибудь видела?

00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,611

Врятли, я всё больше мотаюсь по гастролям.

00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:50,406

Почему же, я помню,

что ты в городском парке играл Пиноккио.

00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,201

Джепетто, я настоящий, живой мальчик.

00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,747

Вам не удастся унизить художника.

00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:59,916

Конечно нет.

00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:03,044

Когда я деревянным был я в школу не ходил...

00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,467

Ну, как ты себя чувствуешь?

00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:13,012

Ты с Барри поговорила?

Да нет, я не потому улыбаюсь.

00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:17,684

Конечно нет, просто у влюблённых рот до ушей.

00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:26,401

Знаешь...он такой...

00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:28,111

Помнишь как было у тебя с Тони Де Марко?

00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:32,323

- Да, ещё бы.

- Ну вот, у меня так же - настоящие чувства.

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Дааа...здорово ты вляпалась.

00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:39,330

Всё, хватит. Иду на работу...

00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:42,208

...и до конца дня о нём не думаю.

00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:45,336

Нет, это слишком, просто иду на работу.

00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,130

- А мне пожелай удачи!

- В чём?

00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:50,633

Я тоже иду искать работу.

00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,227

- Привет, Моника.

- Привет, Фрэнни, ты уже вернулась?

00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:02,895

Ну как там Флорида?

00:17:03,063 --> 00:17:04,397

Твой новый роман.

00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:07,316

Откуда ты знаешь?

00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:12,238

- Ну, так кто же он?

- Ты Пола знаешь?

00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:14,365

Красавчик Пол?

00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,117

Да уж, я знаю Пола.

00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:21,164

И что, хорошо знаешь?

00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,666

О чём ты говоришь?

Да он мне по гроб жизни обязан.

00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:27,962

Он же до меня два года вообще импотентом был.

00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:33,760

Ну конечно, ты же попалась на старый трюк.

00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,846

Какой ещё к чёрту трюк?

Зачем человеку просто так на себя наговаривать?

00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:40,308

Ааа, ты хочешь поискать

более изящное объяснение

00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,393

чем "Желание затащить тебя в койку?"

00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:45,021

А может...может дело во мне?

00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:48,733

Может я вообще ущербная какая...

00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,527

...раз на меня клюют только моральные уроды...

00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,654

Иди сюда и дай мне свои ноги.

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Оказался таким беззащитным.

00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,336

Да неужели ты сразу не поняла, что это трюк?

00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,258

Угадайте что произошло.

00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:16,219

- Ты нашла работу?

- Издеваешься?

00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,054

Я же ничего не умею.

00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,933

Надо мной в десяти местах посмеялись и выгнали.

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Поэтому у тебя такой радостный вид.

00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:27,355

Ты бы ещё не так радовался, если бы не урвал

на распродаже сапоги, о которых мечтал...

00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,273

...за полцены.

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Надо же, а ты хорошо меня знаешь.

00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,363

Мне не нужны друзья, враги, мне не нужна родня...

00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,782

когда такие сапоги на ножках у меня.

00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:41,369

- И как ты за них заплатила?

- По кредитной карточке.

00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,579

У тебя есть карточка?

00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,332

У меня есть папа.

00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,087

Нельзя всю жизнь сидеть на шее у родителей.

00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:54,966

Конечно нет, поэтому я и хотела выйти замуж.

00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:58,344

Отстаньте от неё, самостоятельную жизнь начинать трудно.

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- Спасибо тебе.

- Не за что.

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Когда я впервые сюда приехала,

мне было четырнадцать.

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Мать покончила с собой, отца опять посадили.

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А я приехала в город, где никого не знала.

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И жила с одним гениальным поэтом,

он работал мойщиком машин в пароходстве...

00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:15,653

...но потом и он покончил с собой.

00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:20,241

А я открыла для себя ароматерапию,

так что я тебя отлично понимаю.

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Я знаю о чём ты думаешь...

00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:28,958

Прощай папино богатство.

00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,255

Ну, готова?

00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:36,132

- Нет, не могу.

Да ладно, давай.

00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:37,884

Режь. Режь.

00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:41,053

Режь, режь, режь.

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- Молодец!

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Добро пожаловать в реальную жизнь.

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Она довльно паршивая,

но ты втянешься.

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Всё, спать.

Ну что, братец, ляжешь на кушетке?

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- Да нет, я уж лучше домой.

- Ну смотри.

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Смотрю.

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Моника, гляди что я нашла на полу.

00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,460

Что?

00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,420

Это часы Пола.

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Положи где нашла.

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Ну ладно...всем спокойной ночи.

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- Извини.

- Нет, ешь.

00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,652

- Нет, я правда не хочу.

- Может поделим?

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- Давай.

00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:42,782

Спасибо.

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А ты ведь не знала, я в школе был жутко...

00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,080

... в тебя влюблён.

00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:51,707

Знала.

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Правда?

00:20:55,128 --> 00:20:58,130

И ты наверно думала -

"Этот старший брат Моники такой придурок"

00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:00,883

- Да.

00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:07,348

Я хотел тебя спросить.

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Только ради бога, не бойся меня обидеть.

00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,983

Что если я тебя как-нибудь куда-нибудь приглашу?

Что ты на это скажешь?

00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:20,069

Ну...

00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:21,821

Почему бы и нет?

00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,657

Хорошо.

00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:31,872

Как-нибудь непременно.

00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,962

Спокойной ночи.

00:21:51,518 --> 00:21:53,227

Ты ещё здесь?

00:21:54,938 --> 00:21:57,356

Подожди, что с тобой?

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Понимаешь, она сказала

"Почему бы и нет?".

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Ушам своим не верю.

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- Я же кажется просила.

- Я же кажется просила.

00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:19,754

- Может ты уже прекратишь?

- Что, опять со мной это?

00:22:19,963 --> 00:22:21,797

Опять.

00:22:22,841 --> 00:22:24,842

Кто хочет кофе?

00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,180

Ты сама сврила, или просто подаёшь?

00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:32,641

- Я хочу.

И мне налей.

00:22:33,101 --> 00:22:34,352

Мне приснился сон.

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Я в Лас-Вегасе. Я Лайза Минелли.

00:22:38,449 --> 00:22:39,939

Внимание! Этот перевод, возможно, ещё не готов.

Его статус: идёт перевод

00:22:39,949 --> 00:22:42,439

Переведено на Нотабеноиде

http://notabenoid.com/book/35366/125273

00:22:42,449 --> 00:22:43,439

Переводчики: martanpon

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There's nothing to tell.

It's just some guy I work with.

00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:55,137

Come on.

You're going out with a guy.

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There's gotta be something

wrong with him.

00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,933

So does he have a hump

and a hair piece?

00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:03,771

Wait. Does he eat chalk?

00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:08,233

I don't want her to go through

what I went through with Carl. Oh.

00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:11,236

Okay, everybody relax.

This is not even a date.

00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:14,406

It's just two people going out

to dinner and not having sex.

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Sounds like a date to me.

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I'm back in high school,

in the middle of the cafeteria...

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...and I realize I'm totally naked.

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- Oh, yeah.

- I've had that dream.

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Then I look down and I realize

there is a phone...

00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,009

...there.

00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,845

- Instead of...

- That's right!

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MONICA: That one, I've never had.

PHOEBE: No.

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All of a sudden,

the phone starts to ring.

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And it turns out it's my mother.

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Which is very, very weird

because she never calls me.

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Hi.

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This guy says "hello,"

I wanna kill myself.

00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,413

Are you okay, sweetie?

00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:08,335

I feel like someone grabbed my small

intestine, pulled it out of my mouth...

00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:11,380

...and tied it around my neck.

- Cookie?

00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,883

Carol moved her stuff out today.

00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,135

PHOEBE & JOEY:

Oh.

00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:18,095

- Let me get you some coffee.

- Thanks.

00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:22,808

Ew. Unh.

00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:26,937

No. No, don't!

Stop cleansing my aura.

00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,773

Just leave my aura alone, okay?

00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:34,653

I'll be fine. All right? Really.

I hope she'll be very happy.

00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,155

- No, you don't.

- No, I don't.

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To hell with her. She left me!

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And you never knew she was a lesbian.

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No! Okay?

00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,335

Why does everyone

keep fixating on that?

00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:54,756

She didn't know. How should I know?

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Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.

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Did I say that out loud?

00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:08,896

All right, Ross. Look, you're feeling

a lot of pain right now.

00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:11,481

You're angry. You're hurting.

00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,942

Can I tell you what the answer is?

00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,444

Strip joints!

00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,948

Come on, you're single.

Have some hormones.

00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,451

See, but I don't want

to be single, okay?

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I just wanna be married again.

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And I just want a million dollars!

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Rachel?

00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,175

Oh, God, Monica! Hi! Thank God!

00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:41,511

I went to your building and

this guy with a hammer said...

00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,889

...that you might be here, and you are.

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- Can I get you some coffee?

- Decaf.

00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:52,189

Okay, everybody, this is Rachel,

another Lincoln High survivor.

00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,900

This is everybody.

This is Chandler and Phoebe...

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...and Joey. And remember

my brother, Ross?

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- Sure!

- Hey.

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- Hi.

- Oh, God.

00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,330

[SIGHS]

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So you wanna tell us now, or are we

waiting for four wet bridesmaids?

00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:19,341

Oh, God! Well, it started about

a half-hour before the wedding.

00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,927

I was in this room

with all the presents...

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...and I was looking

at this gravy boat.

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This really gorgeous

Limoges gravy boat.

00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:29,559

When all of a sudden...

Sweet 'N Low?

00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,853

- I realized...

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...I was more turned on by

this gravy boat than by Barry.

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Then I got really freaked out,

and that's when it hit me:

00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,114

How much Barry looks

like Mr. Potato Head.

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You know, I mean, I always knew

he looked familiar, but...

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Anyway, I just had to get out of there,

and I started wondering:

00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:55,127

"Why am I doing this?"

And "Who am I doing this for?"

00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:59,673

Anyway, I just didn't know where to go,

and I know you and I have drifted apart...

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...but you're the only person

I know in the city.

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Who wasn't invited to the wedding.

00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,889

Oh, I was kind of hoping that

wouldn't be an issue.

00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:17,274

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH

ON TV]

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I'm guessing he bought her

the big pipe organ...

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...and she's really not

happy about it.

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Daddy, I just... I can't marry him.

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I'm sorry.

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I just don't love him.

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Well, it matters to me.

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CHANDLER:

She should not be wearing those pants.

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I say push her down the stairs.

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ALL: Push her down the stairs!

Push her down the stairs!

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[ALL CHEER AND APPLAUD]

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Come on, Daddy, listen to me!

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It's like all of my life, everyone's

always told me, "You're a shoe!

00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,237

You're a shoe! You're a shoe!

You're a shoe!"

00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:07,616

Then today I stopped and said,

"What if I don't wanna be a shoe?

00:06:07,825 --> 00:06:10,994

What if I wanna be a purse?

You know?

00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:12,954

Or a hat?"

00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:16,416

I don't want you to buy me a hat,

I am a hat.

00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:18,794

It's a metaphor, Daddy!

00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,381

You can see where he'd have trouble.

00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,511

Look, Daddy, it's my life.

00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:31,306

Well, maybe I'll just stay

here with Monica.

00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,812

I guess we've established

she's staying with Monica.

00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,691

Well, maybe that's my decision.

00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:44,528

Well, maybe I don't need your money.

00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:46,947

Wait! Wait! I said maybe!

00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,123

Okay. Just breathe, that's it.

00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:58,792

Just try to think of nice, calm things.

00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:02,879

[SINGING] Raindrops on roses

And whiskers on kittens

00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:07,217

Doorbells and sleigh bells

And something with mittens

00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:11,346

La la la something

With string

00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,390

I'm all better now.

00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:17,185

I helped.

00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,189

MONICA: Look, this is probably

for the best, you know?

00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:24,067

Independence. Taking control of your life.

00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:28,613

And, hey, if you need anything,

you can always come to Joey.

00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:32,200

Me and Chandler live right

across the hall. And he's away a lot.

00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:36,621

Joey, stop hitting on her.

It's her wedding day.

00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,790

What? Like there's a rule or something?

00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,584

[INTERCOM BUZZES]

00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:44,880

Please don't do that again.

It's a horrible sound.

00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:47,466

PAUL: Uh, it's Paul.

- Buzz him in.

00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:50,051

- Who's Paul?

- Paul, the wine guy, Paul?

00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,303

Maybe.

00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:54,806

Wait a minute. Your "not a real date"

is with Paul, the wine guy?

00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,808

- He finally asked you out?

- Yes.

00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,768

Ooh. This is a "Dear Diary" moment.

00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,813

Rach, wait, I can cancel.

00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:03,857

Please, no. Go, I'll be fine.

00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,736

Ross, are you okay?

I mean, do you want me to stay?

00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,739

That'd be good.

00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:14,868

- Really?

- No, go on! It's Paul, the wine guy.

00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:16,203

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:21,124

MONICA:

Hi, come in. Paul, this is...

00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,544

...everybody. Everybody, this is Paul.

00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,046

JOEY:

Paul, the wine guy.

00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:30,091

- Wine guy.

- I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?

00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,053

- Okay. Sit down. Two seconds.

- Okay.

00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:36,014

[MOUTHING]

00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:40,310

Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes.

That can't be good.

00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,731

So, Rachel,

what are you up to tonight?

00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:49,110

Well, I was supposed to be headed

for Aruba on my honeymoon...

00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:50,320

...so, nothing.

00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,950

Right. You're not even

getting your honeymoon.

00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:59,204

God. No, no. Although, Aruba. Heh.

This time of year? Eh.

00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,957

Talk about your...

00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:03,166

...big lizards.

00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,674

Anyway, if you don't feel

like being alone tonight...

00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,718

...Joey and Chandler are

helping me with my furniture.

00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:17,055

Yes, and we're very excited about it.

00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,559

Actually, thanks, but I'm just gonna

hang out here tonight.

00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:22,769

- It's been a long day.

- Oh, sure. Okay. Sure.

00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:24,271

Hey, Pheebs, you wanna help?

00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,648

Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.

00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:39,286

I'm supposed to attach a bracket-y

thing to the side things...

00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:42,247

...using a bunch of these

little worm guys.

00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:48,169

I have no bracket-y thing,

I see no worm guys whatsoever...

00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:51,423

...and I cannot feel my legs.

00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,050

What's this?

00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:57,262

I have no idea.

00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,558

- Done with the bookcase.

- All finished.

00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:06,938

This was Carol's favorite beer.

00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,693

She always drank it out of the can.

I should have known.

00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:15,071

Hey. Ross, let me ask you a question.

00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:19,451

She got the furniture,

the stereo, the good TV.

00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,660

What did you get?

00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,037

You guys.

00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:24,289

- Oh, God. Oh, my God.

- You got screwed.

00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:28,793

- Oh, my God.

- I know, I know. I'm such an idiot.

00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:33,882

I should've caught on when she went to

the dentist four and five times a week.

00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,259

I mean, how clean can teeth get?

00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,845

My brother's going through that.

He's such a mess.

00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,680

How did you get through it?

00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:44,392

He might try accidentally breaking

something valuable of hers.

00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,144

- Say her...

- Leg?

00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,229

Heh. That's one way of going through it,

yeah.

00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,315

Me, I went for the watch.

00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,651

- You actually broke her watch?

- Mm.

00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:56,363

Barry, I'm sorry. I am so sorry.

00:10:56,614 --> 00:11:01,534

You probably think it's about making

love with your socks on, but it isn't.

00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:04,537

It isn't, it's about me. And I...

00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,706

[SIGHS]

00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:14,631

Hi. Machine cut me off again.

Anyway...

00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:20,512

You know what's scary? What if

there's only one woman for everybody?

00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:24,057

I mean, what if you get one

woman, and that's it?

00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:29,104

Unfortunately, in my case,

there was only one woman for her.

00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:32,816

What are you talking about?

One woman.

00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:37,028

That's like saying there's only

one flavor of ice cream for you.

00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:40,949

Let me tell you something, Ross.

There's lots of flavors out there.

00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:45,578

There's rocky road and cookie dough

and bing cherry vanilla.

00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:50,709

You can get them with jimmies

or nuts or whipped cream.

00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,628

This is the best thing that

ever happened to you.

00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,673

You got married. You were like, what, 8?

00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:02,637

Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon.

00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,348

I honestly don't know

if I'm hungry or horny.

00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,183

Then stay out of my freezer.

00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:14,357

Ever since she walked out on me, I...

00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,651

What? What?

00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,653

You wanna spell it out with noodles?

00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:22,449

No, it's more of a fifth date

kind of revelation.

00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:26,286

Oh, so there's gonna be a fifth date?

00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,497

Isn't there?

00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:31,875

Yeah, yeah. I think there is.

00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,420

What were you gonna say?

00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:39,174

Well... Er, uh...

00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:42,552

Ever since she left me, um...

00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,973

...I haven't been able to perform...

00:12:47,224 --> 00:12:48,433

...sexually.

00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:52,812

Oh, God! Oh, God! I am so...

00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,230

- I'm so sorry.

- It's okay.

00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,859

Being spit on is probably

not what you need right now.

00:12:58,027 --> 00:12:59,736

Um...

00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,196

How long?

00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:02,822

Two years.

00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,283

Wow!

00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:08,411

I'm glad you smashed her watch.

00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:13,792

So you still think you might

want that fifth date?

00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,338

Yeah.

00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,340

Yeah, I do.

00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:24,886

I, Joanie, take you, Charles,

as my lawful husband.

00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,473

MINISTER: Do you take Joanie...?

- Oh! See.

00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:33,853

But Joanie loved Chachi.

That's the difference.

00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:36,773

"Grab a spoon."

00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:39,609

Do you know long it's been

since I grabbed a spoon?

00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:42,946

Do the words, "Billy, don't be

a hero," mean anything to you?

00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:49,702

You know, here's the thing.

Even if I could get it together enough...

00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,413

...to ask a woman out...

00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:55,291

...who am I gonna ask?

00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:17,981

Isn't this amazing?

00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:20,483

I mean, I have never made coffee

before in my life.

00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:23,152

- That is amazing.

- Congratulations.

00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:28,074

While you're on a roll, if you feel like you

gotta make a Western omelet or something...

00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:34,455

Although, actually I'm really

not that hungry this morning.

00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,708

- Good morning.

MONICA: Good morning.

00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,501

- Morning.

JOEY: Morning.

00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,588

- Morning.

JOEY: Morning, Paul.

00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:44,966

- Hello, Paul.

- Hi. Paul, is it?

00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:51,848

MONICA:

I had a really great time last night.

00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,892

PAUL:

Thank you. Thank you so much.

00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,478

- We'll talk later, okay?

- Yeah.

00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,985

Thank you.

00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:12,619

That wasn't a real date.

00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:16,164

What the hell do you do

on a real date?

00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:20,501

- Shut up and put my table back.

JOEY: Okay.

00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:22,545

All right, kids, I gotta get to work.

00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:28,259

If I don't input those numbers,

it doesn't make much of a difference.

00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,431

So, like, you guys all have jobs?

00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:35,892

Yeah, we all have jobs.

00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,728

See, that's how we buy stuff.

00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:41,648

Yeah, I'm an actor.

00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:44,067

Wow. Would I have seen you in anything?

00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,611

Oh, I doubt it. Mostly regional work.

00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:50,406

Unless you happened to catch the

Wee One's production of Pinocchio.

00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,201

"Look, Geppeto. I'm a real live boy."

00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,747

I will not take this abuse.

00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:59,916

You're right. I'm sorry.

00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:03,044

[SINGING] Once I was a wooden boy

A little wooden boy

00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,467

MONICA: So how are you doing today?

Did you sleep okay?

00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:13,012

Did you talk to Barry?

I can't stop smiling.

00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:17,684

I can see that. You look like you

slept with a hanger in your mouth.

00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:26,401

I know. He's just so...

00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:28,111

Remember you and Tony De Marco?

00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:32,323

- Oh, yeah.

- Well, it's like that. With feelings.

00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,867

Oh, wow, are you in trouble!

00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:39,330

Okay, okay. I am just going to get up,

go to work...

00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:42,208

...and not think about him all day.

00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:45,336

Or else I'm just gonna

get up and go to work.

00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,130

- Oh, wish me luck!

- What for?

00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:50,633

I'm gonna go get one

of those job things.

00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,227

- Hey, Monica.

- Hey, Franny. Welcome back.

00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:02,895

How was Florida?

00:17:03,063 --> 00:17:04,397

You had sex, didn't you?

00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:07,316

How do you do that?

00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:12,238

- So, who?

- You know Paul?

00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:14,365

Paul, the wine guy?

00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,117

Oh, yeah, I know Paul.

00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:21,164

You mean, you know Paul

like I know Paul?

00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,666

Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul.

00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:27,962

Before me, there was no snap

in his turtle for two years.

00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:33,760

Of course it was a line.

00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,846

Why? Why would anybody

do something like that?

00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:40,308

We're looking for an answer

more sophisticated than:

00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,393

"To get you into bed."

00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:45,021

Is it me?

00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:48,733

Is it like I have some sort of

beacon that only dogs...

00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,527

...and men with severe emotional

problems can hear?

00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,654

All right, come here. Give me your feet.

00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,997

I just thought he was nice, you know?

00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,336

I can't believe you

didn't know it was a line.

00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,258

Guess what.

00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:16,219

- You got a job?

- Are you kidding?

00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,054

I'm trained for nothing.

00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,933

I was laughed out of 12 interviews today.

00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,643

Yet you're surprisingly upbeat.

00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:27,355

Well, you would be too if you found

Joan and David boots on sale...

00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,273

...50 percent off.

00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,275

Oh, how well you know me.

00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,363

They're my new "I don't need

a job or my parents.

00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,782

I've got great boots" boots.

00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:41,369

- How'd you pay for them?

- Uh, credit card.

00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,579

And who pays for that?

00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,332

Um, my father.

00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,087

You can't live off your parents

your whole life.

00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:54,966

I know that. That's why

I was getting married.

00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:58,344

Give her a break. It's hard being

on your own for the first time.

00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,012

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,890

I remember when I first came

to this city, I was 14.

00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:05,935

My mom had killed herself

and my stepdad was back in prison.

00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,146

And I got here,

and I didn't know anybody.

00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:11,691

I ended up living with this albino

guy who was cleaning windshields...

00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:15,653

...outside Port Authority.

And then he killed himself.

00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:20,241

And then I found aromatherapy.

So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.

00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:27,123

The word you're looking for is:

00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:28,958

"Anyway..."

00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,255

All right. You ready?

00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:36,132

- I don't think so.

ROSS: Oh, come on.

00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:37,884

Cut. Cut.

00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:41,053

ALL:

Cut, cut, cut.

00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:45,600

ROSS: Hey.

MONICA: All right.

00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,560

Welcome to the real world.

00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:50,521

It sucks. You're gonna love it.

00:19:51,398 --> 00:19:53,482

[FRANCIS SCOTT KEY'S "STAR-SPANGLED

BANNER" PLAYS ON TV]

00:19:57,446 --> 00:20:00,781

Well, that's it.

You gonna crash on the couch?

00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:04,327

- No. No, I gotta go home sometime.

- Are you gonna be okay?

00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:05,995

Yeah.

00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,915

Look what I just found on the floor.

00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,460

What?

00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,420

That's Paul's watch.

00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,672

You can just put it back

where you found it.

00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:21,761

Oh, boy. All right.

Good night, everybody.

00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:22,970

ROSS & RACHEL:

Good night.

00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:25,056

[WATCH CRACKS]

00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:30,353

[DOOR CLOSES]

00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,147

- Hmm.

- Hmm.

00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:35,524

- Oh, sorry.

- No. Oh, no. Go.

00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,652

- No, have it, really.

- Split it?

00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,820

- Okay.

- Okay.

00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:42,782

Thanks.

00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:47,078

You probably didn't know this,

but back in high school I had...

00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,080

...a major crush on you.

00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:51,707

I knew.

00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,335

You did? Oh.

00:20:55,128 --> 00:20:58,130

I figured you thought I was

Monica's geeky older brother.

00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:00,883

- I did.

- Oh.

00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:07,348

Listen, do you think...

00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:11,018

And try not to let my vulnerability

become any kind of a factor here.

00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,983

Do you think it would be okay if

I ask you out sometime, maybe?

00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:20,069

Yeah.

00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:21,821

Maybe.

00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,657

Okay.

00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:31,872

Okay, maybe I will.

00:21:34,209 --> 00:21:35,668

[RACHEL CHUCKLES]

00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,962

- Good night.

- Good night.

00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:42,967

[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]

00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:50,433

[DOOR OPENS]

00:21:51,518 --> 00:21:53,227

See you.

00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:54,770

ROSS:

Mm-hm.

00:21:54,938 --> 00:21:57,356

Wait, wait. Hey, what's with you?

00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:02,320

I just grabbed a spoon.

00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:11,954

Can't believe what I'm hearing.

00:22:12,205 --> 00:22:13,873

[SINGING] I can't believe

What I'm hearing here

00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:16,250

- What? I said you had...

- What? I said you had...

00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:19,754

- Would you stop?

- Oh, was I doing it again?

00:22:19,963 --> 00:22:21,797

ALL:

Yes.

00:22:22,841 --> 00:22:24,842

WOMAN:

Would anybody like more coffee?

00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,180

Did you make it or are you just serving it?

00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:32,641

- I'm just serving it.

CHANDLER: I'll have a cup of coffee.

00:22:33,101 --> 00:22:34,352

Kids, new dream.

00:22:35,103 --> 00:22:38,439

I'm in Las Vegas. I'm Liza Minnelli.

00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:46,197

[English - US - SDH]