Эпизод с сонограммой в конце

00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:07,548

...for us, kissing is as important

as any part of it.

00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:09,508

Yeah, right.

00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,095

You serious?

00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,097

Oh, yeah.

00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:17,683

Everything you need to know

is in that first kiss.

00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:19,768

- Absolutely.

- Yeah, I think, for us...

00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:22,021

...kissing is pretty much

like an opening act.

00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,773

I mean, it's like the stand-up comedian

you have to sit through...

00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,109

...before Pink Floyd comes out.

00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:33,699

Yeah, and it's not that

we don't like the comedian.

00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:37,077

It's just that that's not...

00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,288

...why we bought the ticket.

00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,207

See, the problem is, though...

00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:45,002

...after the concert's over,

no matter how great the show was...

00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:48,672

...you girls are always looking

for the comedian again.

00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,883

I mean, we're in the car,

we're fighting traffic...

00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:53,844

...basically just trying to stay awake.

00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,932

Yeah, well, word of advice:

Bring back the comedian.

00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,893

Otherwise, you're gonna find yourself...

00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:03,687

...sitting at home

listening to that album alone.

00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:10,778

Are we still talking about sex?

00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,209

ROSS:

No, it's good. It is good.

00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:11,088

It's just that,

doesn't she seem a little angry?

00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,006

Well, she has issues.

00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,218

Does she?

00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:18,637

He's out banging other women

over the head with a club...

00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:22,683

...while she sits at home trying to get

the mastodon smell out of the carpet.

00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:25,978

Marsha, see, these are cave people.

00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:29,356

Okay, they have issues like:

00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:33,569

"Gee, that glacier's getting kind of close."

See?

00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,863

Speaking of issues,

isn't that your ex-wife?

00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:38,740

- No, no.

- Yes, it is. Carol, hi.

00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,492

ROSS:

Okay. Yes. Yes, it is.

00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:43,078

How about I'll catch up with you

in the Ice Age?

00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,761

- Hi.

- Hi.

00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:08,520

So...

00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:11,190

You look great.

00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:13,066

I hate that.

00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:17,362

Sorry. Thanks. You look good too.

00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:20,490

Well, you know, in here, anyone who...

00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:23,327

...stands erect...

00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:28,624

- So, what's new? Still a...

- A lesbian?

00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,417

Well...

00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:32,961

You never know.

00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,214

How's, um...? How's the family?

00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,799

Marty's still totally paranoid.

00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:41,094

- Oh, and...

- Carol, why are you here, Carol?

00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:45,224

- I'm pregnant.

- Pregnant.

00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:56,235

Oh. Looks like she didn't leave

in such a hurry after all.

00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:58,695

I think this is the episode

of Three's Company...

00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,198

...where's there's some kind

of misunderstanding.

00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:06,536

Then I've already seen this one.

00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,998

Are you through with that? Thanks.

00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,626

Yeah, sorry, the swallowing

slowed me down.

00:04:14,128 --> 00:04:15,921

Whose little ball of paper is this?

00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:17,172

Oh, that would be mine.

00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,841

See, I wrote a note to myself,

then I didn't need it.

00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:22,261

So I balled it up

and now I wish I was dead.

00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:23,720

[SCOFFS]

00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:27,724

She already fluffed that pillow.

Monica, you know, you already fluffed...

00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,768

But it's fine.

00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,186

Look, I'm sorry.

00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,855

I don't want to give them

any more ammunition than they have.

00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:35,941

Yes, we know how cruel

a parent can be...

00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:39,278

...about the flatness of a child's pillow.

00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:42,281

Monica? Hi. Um...

00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:45,325

Monica, um, you're scaring me.

00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:50,247

I mean, you're, like, all chaotic

and twirly, you know?

00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,665

Not in a good way.

00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:54,710

Yeah, calm down.

00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:59,214

You don't see Ross getting all chaotic

and twirly every time they come.

00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:03,302

That's because, as far as my parents are

concerned, Ross can do no wrong.

00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:05,554

You see, he's the prince.

00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:09,141

Apparently they had some big ceremony

before I was born.

00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:12,561

Ew, ew, ew.

00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,439

- What?

- Ugly Naked Guy got a ThighMaster.

00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:19,526

Ew.

00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:23,322

- Has anybody seen my engagement ring?

- Yeah, it's beautiful.

00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,370

Oh, God. Oh, God.

00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:34,041

- Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.

- No, don't touch that.

00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:40,714

Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough

having to give it back to him.

00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:42,716

"Hi, Barry, remember me? I'm the girl...

00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:46,094

...that stomped on your heart

in front of your entire family"

00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:49,639

Oh, God. Now I'm gonna have to

return the ring, without the ring...

00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,726

...which makes it so much harder.

00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,562

Easy, Rach, we'll find it. Won't we?

00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,481

- Oh, yeah.

MONICA: Okay, look.

00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,693

When did you have it on last?

00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:04,237

Doy. Probably right before she lost it.

00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:09,242

You don't get a lot of "doy" these days.

00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:13,705

I know I had it this morning.

00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:16,792

I know I had it when I was

in the kitchen with...

00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,627

Dinah?

00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:24,049

Oh, don't be mad.

00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,885

- You didn't.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:29,388

I gave you one job.

00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:33,683

Oh, but look how straight

those noodles are.

00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:38,522

Monica, you know that's not how you look

for an engagement ring in a lasagna.

00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:42,609

I just can't do it.

00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:45,153

Boys?

00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:47,697

We're going in.

00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,245

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,416

Hi.

00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:00,544

Oh, that is not a happy "hi."

00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,254

Carol's pregnant.

00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:04,047

Oh, I found it.

00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:09,302

Well, what...? What?

00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,054

Yeah.

00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:13,348

Do that for another two hours...

00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:16,560

...you might be where I am

right about now.

00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:20,814

Kind of puts that whole pillow thing

in perspective, huh, Mon?

00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,152

Well, now, how do you fit

into this whole thing?

00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:28,447

Well, Carol says she and Susan

want me to be involved.

00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:33,285

But if I'm not comfortable with it,

I don't have to be involved.

00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,495

Basically, it's totally up to me.

00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,914

She is so great. I miss her.

00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:44,546

What does she mean by "involved"?

00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:47,340

I mean, presumably,

the biggest part of your job is done.

00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:52,179

Anyway, they want me

to go down to this...

00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:54,806

...sonogram thing with them tomorrow.

00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,057

So, what are you gonna do?

00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,310

I have no idea.

00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:02,147

No matter what I do, though,

I'm still gonna be a father.

00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:04,274

[JOEY CLANGING UTENSILS]

00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:13,909

Well, this is still ruined, right?

00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:23,835

Oh. Martha Lugwin's daughter

is gonna call you.

00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:28,381

Mm. What's that curry taste?

00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,133

Curry.

00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,802

Mm.

00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:37,557

I think they're great. I really do.

00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:38,725

You remember the Lugwins?

00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,810

The big one had a thing for you,

didn't she?

00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,771

They all had a thing for him.

00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:44,731

Oh, Mom.

00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,025

I'm sorry.

Why is this girl going to call me?

00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:51,738

Oh, she just graduated, and she wants

to be something in cooking or food...

00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,073

...or I don't know.

00:08:53,282 --> 00:08:55,659

Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant,

so...

00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:58,537

No, Mom. I don't have a restaurant.

I work in a restaurant.

00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:01,414

Well, they don't have to know that.

00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,962

Ross, could you come and help me

with the spaghetti.

00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:08,129

Yes.

00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:10,590

Oh, we're having spaghetti. That's...

00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,259

...easy.

00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:17,347

I know this is going to sound

unbelievably selfish on my part...

00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,767

...but were you planning on bringing

up the whole baby/lesbian thing?

00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,687

Because I think it might take

some of the heat off me.

00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:30,652

What that Rachel did to her life.

We ran into her parents at the club.

00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:32,821

They were not playing very well.

00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,282

I'm not gonna tell you

what they spent on that wedding...

00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,034

...but $40,000 is a lot of money.

00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:44,666

Well, at least she had the chance

to leave a man at the altar.

00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:50,589

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Nothing.

00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:54,092

- It's an expression.

- No, it's not.

00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:55,468

Don't listen to your mother.

00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:57,637

You're independent

and you always have been.

00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,307

Even when you were a kid,

and you were chubby...

00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:03,351

...and you had no friends,

you were just fine.

00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:08,273

You'd read alone in your room.

And your puzzles...

00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:15,780

Look, there are people, like Ross,

who need to shoot for the stars.

00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,825

With his museum and his papers

getting published.

00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,286

Other people are satisfied

with staying where they are.

00:10:21,495 --> 00:10:25,165

I'm telling you, these are the people

who never get cancer.

00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:32,213

And I read about these women

trying to have it all, and I thank God...

00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:35,425

...our little Harmonica

doesn't seem to have that problem.

00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,847

So, Ross, what's going on with you?

00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:45,977

Any stories? No news, no little

anecdotes to share with the folks?

00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:47,270

Okay, okay.

00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:54,027

Ahem. Look, I, uh... I realize you guys

have been wondering...

00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:56,863

...what exactly happened

between Carol and me.

00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,865

And so, well, here's the deal.

00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,370

Carol's a lesbian.

00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:07,874

She's living with a woman named Susan.

00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:12,921

She's pregnant with my child.

00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:16,466

And she and Susan

are going to raise the baby.

00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,180

And you knew about this?

00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:38,655

Your folks are really that bad, huh?

00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:42,325

Well, you know, these people are pros.

00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:47,163

They know what they're doing.

They take their time.

00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:50,041

They get the job done.

00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:55,004

Boy, I know they say that

you can't change your parents.

00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:58,341

Boy, if you could, I'd want yours.

00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:01,928

Must pee.

00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:04,764

You know, it's even worse

when you're twins.

00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,142

- You're a twin?

- Oh, yeah. We don't speak.

00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:10,145

She's like this high-powered,

driven, career-type.

00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:12,313

- What does she do?

- She's a waitress.

00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,527

All right. You guys,

I kind of gotta clean up now.

00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,613

Chandler, you're an only child, right?

You don't have any of this.

00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:24,159

Well, no, although I did

have an imaginary friend...

00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:26,244

...who my parents actually preferred.

00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,582

RACHEL:

Hit the lights, please.

00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:38,923

How long was I in there?

00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:41,885

I'm just cleaning up.

00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:45,472

Oh, do you, uh...?

Do you need any help?

00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:48,349

Um, okay, sure. Thanks.

00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:51,060

[SIGHS]

00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:55,690

Anyway...

00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:59,194

So you nervous about Barry tomorrow?

00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:02,155

- Oh, a little.

- Mm-hm.

00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,200

- A lot.

- Mm-hm.

00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,453

So got any advice?

00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:11,748

You know, as someone

who's recently been dumped.

00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,461

Well, you may want to steer clear

of the word "dumped."

00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:22,091

Chances are he's going to be this

broken shell of a man. You know?

00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:26,346

So you should try not to look too terrific.

I know it'll be hard.

00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:34,229

Or, you know, hey, I'll go down there,

and I'll give Barry back his ring.

00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:38,775

And you can go with Carol

and Susan to the OB-GYN.

00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:43,488

You've got Carol tomorrow.

00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,282

When did it get so complicated?

00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:47,784

Got me.

00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:51,079

- Remember when we were in high school?

- Yeah.

00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:53,790

I mean, didn't you think

you' were gonna meet someone...

00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:56,543

...fall in love, and that'd be it?

00:13:58,462 --> 00:13:59,712

[SCOFFS]

00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,508

- Ross?

- Yes, yes.

00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:08,805

Oh. Man. I never thought I'd be here.

00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:10,557

[ROSS CHUCKLES]

00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:18,398

Me neither.

00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,876

Hi. Sorry I'm late. I got stuck at work.

00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:41,546

There was this big

dinosaur thing. Anyway...

00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:44,173

Hi.

00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:47,886

- Ross, you remember Susan.

- How could I forget?

00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:49,262

Ross.

00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:52,098

Hello, Susan. Good shake, good shake.

00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:56,728

So, uh, we're just waiting for?

00:14:56,937 --> 00:14:59,230

- Dr. Oberman.

- Dr. Oberman. Okay, and is he...?

00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,983

- She.

- Of course, "she."

00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:07,196

She, uh, familiar

with our special situation?

00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,240

Yes, and she's very supportive.

00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,534

Great. Okay, that's great. Heh.

00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,704

No, I'm...

00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,165

CAROL:

Thanks.

00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:32,889

Quack, quack...

00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:35,099

...quack, quack, quack.

00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,976

Ross?

00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:38,937

That opens my cervix.

00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,279

- Barry?

BARRY: Come on in.

00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:49,447

Are you sure?

00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:52,116

BARRY: It's fine, it's fine.

Robbie's gonna be here for hours.

00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,493

Huh?

00:15:56,705 --> 00:15:58,414

So how are you doing?

00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:01,250

I'm...

00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,753

I'm okay.

00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:05,797

You look great.

00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,256

Yeah, well...

00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:10,635

RECEPTIONIST [OVER SPEAKER]:

Dr. Farber, Jason Greenspan's gagging.

00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:13,596

Be right there. I'll be back in a second.

00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,186

I dumped him.

00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:22,814

Okay.

00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:32,573

Oh!

00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:42,125

- Ross.

- So, um...? So how's this going to work...

00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:43,918

...ahem, you know, with us?

00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:47,046

You know, when, like, important

decisions have to be made?

00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:48,715

Give me a "for instance."

00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:50,591

Well, I don't know. Okay, okay.

00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,136

- How about with the baby's name?

- Marlon...

00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:57,181

- Marlon.

...if it's a boy. Minnie, if it's a girl.

00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:00,893

As in "Mouse"?

00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:03,813

As in my grandmother.

00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:07,734

Still, you say "Minnie,"

you hear "Mouse."

00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,404

How about, um...

00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,489

How about "Julia"?

00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:15,408

Julia.

00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:16,784

We agreed on Minnie.

00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:19,746

It's funny, um, we agreed

we'd spend our lives together.

00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:22,790

Things change. Roll with the punches.

00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:25,251

I believe Julia's on the table.

00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:29,714

Oh. Sorry about that.

00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:35,344

So, what have you been up to?

00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:38,389

Oh. Not much.

00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:41,392

- I got a job.

- Hey, that's great.

00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:43,936

Why are you so tan?

00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,189

Oh, I, uh...

00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,649

I went to Aruba.

00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:51,778

Oh, no.

You went on our honeymoon alone?

00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,488

No.

00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:58,493

See, uh, I went with...

00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:01,412

- Now, this may hurt.

- Me?

00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:02,872

No.

00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:06,959

I went with Mindy.

00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,462

Mindy?

00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:11,714

My maid of honor, Mindy?

00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,592

Yeah, well, we're kind of a thing now.

00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,052

[CHUCKLES]

00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,012

Well, I'm...

00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:20,973

You got plugs.

00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:24,018

Careful, careful.

They haven't quite taken yet.

00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,979

And you got lenses.

00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,899

But you hate sticking

your finger in your eye.

00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,818

Not for her.

00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,070

Oh.

00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,074

Listen, I really wanted to thank you.

00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:40,159

Okay.

00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:42,995

About a month ago, I wanted to hurt you...

00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:45,790

...more than I've ever

wanted to hurt anyone in my life.

00:18:45,999 --> 00:18:47,416

And I'm an orthodontist.

00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,710

Wow.

00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,506

You know, you were right.

I mean, I thought we were happy.

00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:54,757

We weren't happy.

00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,261

But with Mindy...

00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,847

...now I'm happy.

00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:03,307

- Spit.

- What?

00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,268

Me.

00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,480

Anyway, um...

00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:13,860

I guess, uh... I guess this belongs to you.

00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:17,488

And thank you for giving it to me.

00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:20,533

Well, thank you for giving it back.

00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:25,746

Hello.

00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:31,085

Oh, please. What's wrong with Helen?

00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,420

Helen Geller?

00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:37,216

- I don't think so.

- Hello, it's not gonna be Helen Geller.

00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:38,801

Thank you.

00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,761

No. I mean, it's not Geller.

00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,055

What, it's gonna be Helen Willick?

00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:48,936

No, actually, um, we talked about

Helen Willick Bunch.

00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:52,773

Well, wait a minute.

Why is she in the title?

00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:54,358

Because it's my baby too.

00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:57,862

That's funny. Really? I don't remember

you making any sperm.

00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:03,159

And we all know what

a challenge that is.

00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:05,203

- Uh-huh. See?

- All right, you two, stop it.

00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,747

No, no. She gets a credit.

Hey, I'm in there too.

00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:11,918

Honestly. You're not actually suggesting

Helen Willick Bunch Geller.

00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:13,711

I think that borders on child abuse.

00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:17,715

Of course not.

I'm suggesting Geller Willick Bunch.

00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:20,384

Oh, no. No, no, no.

You see what he's doing?

00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,428

He knows no one

is gonna say all those names.

00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:25,264

He knows they'll wind up calling her Geller.

Then he gets his way.

00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,683

My way? You think this is my way?

00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:31,437

Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined

this moment in my life being...

00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:34,857

...this is not my way. You know what?

This is too hard.

00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,069

Knock, knock.

How are we today? Any nausea?

00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:40,154

- A little.

- Just a little.

00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:46,577

Well, I was just wondering about the

mother-to-be, but, uh, thanks for sharing.

00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:47,870

Uh, lie back.

00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:50,289

You know what? I'm gonna go.

00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:54,502

Um, I don't think I can be involved

in this particular family thing.

00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:56,754

[BABY'S HEART BEATING

OVER SONOGRAM]

00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,348

Oh, my God.

00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:08,641

Look at that.

00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:10,309

I know.

00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:23,364

Well, isn't that amazing?

00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:28,494

What are we supposed

to be seeing here?

00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:34,208

I don't know, but I think it's about

to attack the Enterprise.

00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:41,173

You know, if you tilt your head

to the left and relax your eyes...

00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:43,634

...it kind of looks like an old potato.

00:21:44,761 --> 00:21:47,054

Then don't do that, all right?

00:21:49,224 --> 00:21:50,474

Monica?

00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:52,226

What do you think?

00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:53,894

Mm-hm.

00:21:55,063 --> 00:21:56,522

Are you welling up?

00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:57,982

- No.

- You are.

00:21:58,191 --> 00:22:00,443

- You are. You're welling up.

- No, I'm not.

00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:03,779

- You're gonna be an aunt.

- Oh, shut up.

00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:06,407

Hi, Mindy.

00:22:06,616 --> 00:22:08,701

Hi, it's Rachel.

00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:12,705

Yeah, I'm fine. I saw Barry today.

00:22:12,914 --> 00:22:14,582

Oh, yeah, yeah, he told me.

00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:17,501

No, it's okay. Really, it's okay.

00:22:17,711 --> 00:22:21,380

I hope you two are very happy.

I really do.

00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:24,759

And, Min, you know,

if everything works out...

00:22:24,968 --> 00:22:29,096

...and you guys end up getting

married and having kids and everything...

00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:32,683

...I just hope they have his

old hairline and your old nose.

00:22:37,731 --> 00:22:40,983

Okay, I know it was a cheap shot,

but I feel so much better now.

00:22:46,990 --> 00:22:48,991

[English - US - SDH]

00:00:04,620 --> 00:00:07,450

Для нас поцелуй так же важен,

как и все остальное

00:00:07,710 --> 00:00:10,750

Ну да, конечно!

00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,880

Что, серьезно?

00:00:14,130 --> 00:00:15,050

Еще бы!

00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:17,720

В первом поцелуе

заключено все главное

00:00:17,970 --> 00:00:18,720

Именно

00:00:18,970 --> 00:00:21,470

А для нас поцелуй - это вроде

ключа к замку.

00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,810

Типа говоришь "Сезам, откройся"...

00:00:25,060 --> 00:00:28,600

...и открывается пещера чудес.

00:00:30,390 --> 00:00:33,560

Ну, крикнул ты этот "Сезам" один раз.

00:00:33,810 --> 00:00:36,030

Главные-то дела все равно...

00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:39,820

...будут твориться в пещере

00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:44,990

Проблема в том, что после

сказочного похода в пещеру...

00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,750

...вам, девчонкам, опять

нужны эти "Сезамы"

00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,080

А мы сидим в машине,

пробираемся через пробки...

00:00:52,330 --> 00:00:55,380

...и вообще пытаемся не заснуть

00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,760

Ну так вот вам совет:

не забывайте про "Сезам"

00:00:59,010 --> 00:01:05,180

А то в следующий раз будете строить

пещеры чудес собственными руками

00:01:08,430 --> 00:01:11,770

Мы все еще про секс говорим?

00:01:12,690 --> 00:01:18,030

1-й сезон, 2-я серия:

"Поход на УЗИ"

00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:03,860

"Музей доисторической истории"

00:02:05,330 --> 00:02:07,250

Нет, нет, все хорошо. Отлично

00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:11,090

Но по-моему, она немного сердится?

00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:14,550

Ну, у нее есть на что

00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,260

Правда?

00:02:16,510 --> 00:02:18,800

Пока он где-то лупит

других баб дубиной...

00:02:19,050 --> 00:02:22,680

...она пытается вывести из ковра

запах мастодонта

00:02:22,930 --> 00:02:26,770

Марша, понимаешь,

это пещерные люди

00:02:27,020 --> 00:02:29,440

А проблемы у них примерно такие:

00:02:29,690 --> 00:02:33,190

"Ой-вэй, ледник приближается!"

Поняла?

00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,780

- Кстати о проблемах - твоя бывшая?

- Нет, не она.

00:02:37,030 --> 00:02:38,610

Она, она. Привет, Кэрол!

00:02:38,860 --> 00:02:40,530

Действительно, она

00:02:40,780 --> 00:02:44,620

Иди, встретимся в ледниковом периоде

00:02:57,970 --> 00:03:01,010

Привет

00:03:06,980 --> 00:03:09,310

Ну вот...

00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,730

Ты здорово выглядишь

00:03:11,980 --> 00:03:13,820

Меня это добивает

00:03:14,070 --> 00:03:14,980

Ну извини

00:03:15,230 --> 00:03:17,400

Спасибо. Ты тоже неплохо смотришься

00:03:17,650 --> 00:03:21,660

Ну, в этом-то окружении любой...

00:03:22,070 --> 00:03:24,870

...прямоходящий...

00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,160

Что новенького?

Все еще...

00:03:28,410 --> 00:03:31,120

Лесбиянка? Да

00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,000

Ну, мало ли что бывает

00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:35,500

Как семья?

00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:38,510

У Марти все еще паранойя

00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,090

Кстати, Кэрол, зачем ты пришла?

00:03:42,510 --> 00:03:43,510

Я беременна

00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,260

Беременна!

00:03:53,770 --> 00:03:56,360

Похоже, не так уж она торопилась

00:03:56,610 --> 00:04:02,740

Тупая блондинка, шутки про секс.

Новаторский сюжет.

00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,740

Я уже видела. Убийца - таксист.

00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:09,790

Ты закончил?

00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:13,880

Извини, если глотать -

получается медленнее

00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:15,960

Чья это смятая бумажка?

00:04:16,210 --> 00:04:19,880

Моя. Я написал себе записку,

потом решил, что она не нужна

00:04:20,130 --> 00:04:23,800

И смял ее, а теперь думаю -

да, я недостоин жить

00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:30,140

Она ее уже взбивала.

Моника, ты уже... Ну ладно

00:04:30,390 --> 00:04:33,810

Понимаете, ребята, я не хочу

давать им в руки оружие

00:04:34,060 --> 00:04:36,150

Ой, родители бывают так жестоки...

00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:39,230

...к невзбитым подушкам детей

00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,650

Моника? Приветик!

00:04:42,900 --> 00:04:46,450

Моника, ты меня пугаешь

00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:50,250

Ты просто ураган какой-то

00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:53,160

И не в хорошем смысле

00:04:53,540 --> 00:04:54,620

Да, успокойся

00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:59,340

Вот Росс не делает... ураган

из каждого их прихода

00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:03,340

Потому что для моих родителей

Росс - идеал

00:05:03,590 --> 00:05:05,510

Понимаете, он у них - принц

00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:10,720

А меня, наверное, даже на его

коронацию не пропустили бы

00:05:12,850 --> 00:05:16,940

- Что?

- Гадкий Голый Дядька качает ляжки.

00:05:20,530 --> 00:05:24,820

- Видели мое обручальное кольцо?

- Да, такое красивое!

00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,910

Боже мой! Боже мой!

00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:35,540

Нет, не трогай!

00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:40,710

Мало мне того, как я вчера

боялась идти возвращать кольцо

00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,960

"Барри, помнишь меня?

Я - та девушка...

00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:46,130

...которая растоптала твои чувства

перед всей твоей семьей"

00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:49,470

А теперь нужно возвращать кольцо,

что без кольца...

00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:53,390

...становится намного труднее

00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,390

Спокойно, мы его найдем.

Ведь правда?

00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:59,020

Так, разберемся

00:06:00,150 --> 00:06:01,650

Когда оно было на тебе?

00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:05,740

Как бы перед тем, как потерялось

00:06:06,570 --> 00:06:10,780

Ты забыла добавить "на самом деле"

00:06:10,910 --> 00:06:13,580

Я помню, что надела его утром

00:06:13,830 --> 00:06:16,830

И оно было на мне в кухне,

где я...

00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,960

Готовила мужу завтрак?

00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:24,260

Ой, не сердись

00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:26,760

- Только не это!

- Ну извини.

00:06:27,010 --> 00:06:30,350

Я дала тебе ровно одно поручение!

00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:34,270

Зато посмотри, какие ровные макароны!

00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:40,190

Знаешь, Моника, а ведь кольцо

в лазанье ищут совсем не так

00:06:41,020 --> 00:06:43,610

Я просто не могу

00:06:43,860 --> 00:06:45,780

Ребята!

00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:48,950

Мы заходим!

00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,410

Привет

00:06:58,790 --> 00:07:00,540

У-у, это не привет

счастливого человека

00:07:00,790 --> 00:07:02,210

Кэрол беременна

00:07:02,460 --> 00:07:05,420

Ой, я его нашла!

00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,800

Вот-вот

00:07:12,050 --> 00:07:13,640

Делай так еще два часа...

00:07:13,890 --> 00:07:17,390

...и будешь в том состоянии,

в каком сейчас я

00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:22,360

Теперь проблема с подушками

приобретает особое значение

00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:25,650

А какое место отводится тебе?

00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:28,490

Карол и Сьюзан хотят,

чтобы я участвовал

00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:33,320

Но если мне это неприятно,

то я не обязан

00:07:33,580 --> 00:07:35,490

В общем, на мой выбор

00:07:35,740 --> 00:07:39,460

Она классная. Я по ней скучаю

00:07:43,170 --> 00:07:44,590

Так что означает "участвовать"?

00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:48,880

Мне кажется, основную работу

ты уже проделал

00:07:49,590 --> 00:07:52,180

Ну, они хотят пойти со мной...

00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,850

...завтра на УЗИ или как там его

00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,100

Что будешь делать?

00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:58,350

Не представляю

00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:03,810

Во всяком случае,

я не откажусь от отцовства

00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:15,450

Она все равно испорчена, правда?

00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:25,290

О, дочка Марты Лагвин

хочет тебе позвонить

00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,630

М-м, от чего этот привкус карри?

00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,550

От карри

00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:37,560

Очень вкусно! Правда-правда

00:08:37,810 --> 00:08:40,810

Помнишь Лагвинов?

Их старшая по тебе вздыхала

00:08:41,060 --> 00:08:43,390

Они все по нем вздыхали!

00:08:43,650 --> 00:08:44,650

Ну мама!

00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:47,070

Прости, а зачем ей звонить мне?

00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:51,740

Она закончила школу, хочет иметь

отношение к кулинарии

00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,150

Что-то в этом роде

00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,070

Я сказала ей, что у тебя ресторан

00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,580

Нет, мама, у меня нет ресторана.

Я работаю в ресторане

00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:02,120

Это им знать не обязательно

00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:08,170

Росс, помоги мне со спагетти,

будь любезен

00:09:08,420 --> 00:09:10,510

О, у нас будут спагетти.

Это так...

00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:13,680

...просто

00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:17,350

Я знаю, с моей стороны

это страшный эгоизм...

00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,680

...но ты собираешься поднимать

детско-лесбийскую тему?

00:09:20,930 --> 00:09:24,270

Это ослабило бы давление на меня

00:09:26,860 --> 00:09:30,690

Боже, что натворила Рэйчел!

Мы встретили ее родителей в клубе

00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:32,860

Играли они посредственно

00:09:33,110 --> 00:09:35,280

Не скажу, сколько они угрохали

на свадьбу...

00:09:35,530 --> 00:09:39,580

...но 40 000 долларов -

это большие деньги

00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:46,210

Но у нее хотя бы было кого

бросать у алтаря

00:09:47,830 --> 00:09:49,040

Как это понимать?

00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:50,800

Никак

00:09:51,050 --> 00:09:54,130

- Это поговорка.

- Ничего подобного.

00:09:54,380 --> 00:09:57,720

Не слушай ее!

Ты всегда была независимая

00:09:57,970 --> 00:10:00,310

Даже толстым неуклюжим ребенком,

00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:04,890

совсем не имея друзей,

ты держалась здорово

00:10:05,140 --> 00:10:09,810

Ты читала в своей комнате,

складывала головоломки...

00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:15,740

Есть люди типа Росса,

которые хотят звезд с неба

00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,820

У него этот музей,

и печатные работы выходят

00:10:19,070 --> 00:10:21,160

А другие довольствуются малым

00:10:21,410 --> 00:10:26,660

И скажу тебе, именно у них

никогда не бывает рака

00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:32,250

Бывают женщины с такими амбициями,

но слава богу...

00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:36,970

...у нашей маленькой Гармоники

нет ничего подобного

00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:41,680

Ну, Росс, а как дела у тебя?

00:10:41,930 --> 00:10:48,230

Есть что рассказать? Поделись

новостями, байками из жизни

00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:53,570

Насколько я понимаю,

вам интересно...

00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,860

...что же произошло

между мной и Кэрол

00:10:57,110 --> 00:11:00,320

Вот как все получилось

00:11:01,950 --> 00:11:04,910

Кэрол - лесбиянка

00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:09,460

Она живет с женщиной

по имени Сьюзан

00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:13,210

Она беременна моим ребенком

00:11:13,460 --> 00:11:18,010

И они со Сьюзан собираются

его растить

00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:23,720

Ты знала, а нам не сказала?!

00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:39,570

Так ваши родители -

и правда такие сволочи?

00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:43,860

Знаете, они просто профессионалы

00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:47,160

Они знают, что они делают

00:11:47,410 --> 00:11:51,620

Они точно рассчитывают время

и бьют без промаха!

00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:55,080

Конечно, говорят,

что родителей не выбирают

00:11:55,330 --> 00:11:59,880

Но я бы охотно выбрала твоих

00:12:00,340 --> 00:12:02,670

Надо пописать!

00:12:03,010 --> 00:12:04,760

Еще хуже, когда вы близнецы

00:12:05,010 --> 00:12:07,100

- Ты близнец?

- Да. Мы не разговариваем.

00:12:07,350 --> 00:12:10,270

Она властная и амбициозная

карьеристка

00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,850

- Кем она работает?

- Официанткой.

00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,520

Все, ребята, мне пора убирать

00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:20,690

Чендлер, ты единственный ребенок.

У тебя этого нет

00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:24,280

Нет, хотя у меня был

воображаемый друг

00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:27,780

И родители больше любили его

00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:32,200

Свет, пожалуйста

00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:40,460

Сколько же я там был?

00:12:40,710 --> 00:12:42,380

Просто уже пора убирать

00:12:42,630 --> 00:12:46,800

Так что... помощь нужна?

00:12:46,970 --> 00:12:49,890

Конечно, спасибо

00:12:54,230 --> 00:12:56,140

Так о чем это я...

00:12:56,390 --> 00:12:59,820

Ты нервничаешь насчет завтра

и Барри?

00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:02,980

Слегка

00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,650

Очень

00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:08,410

Посоветуешь что-нибудь?

00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:12,740

Как мужчина, которого

недавно бортанули

00:13:12,990 --> 00:13:17,670

Посоветую избегать слова

"бортанули"

00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:22,090

Он может чувствовать себя

опустошенным. Знаешь что?

00:13:22,340 --> 00:13:27,880

Не будь слишком красивой.

Это убивает

00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:34,180

Или я могу пойти к Барри

и отдать ему кольцо

00:13:34,430 --> 00:13:40,610

А ты пойди с Кэрол и Сьюзан -

будет чисто женская консультация

00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:44,110

А, у тебя же завтра Кэрол!

00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,280

Почему все так сложно?

00:13:46,530 --> 00:13:48,450

И я о том же

00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:51,200

Помнишь, как мы вместе

учились в школе?

00:13:51,450 --> 00:13:53,870

Разве ты не мечтал

встретить кого-то...

00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:58,080

...влюбиться, и чтобы насовсем?

00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:10,390

Никогда бы не подумала,

что так получится

00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:19,440

Я тоже

00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:37,750

Извини, задержался на работе

00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:42,330

Там такой динозаврище, короче...

00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:44,500

Привет

00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:49,090

- Росс, помнишь Сьюзан?

- Как можно забыть?

00:14:49,340 --> 00:14:53,430

Привет, Сьюзан.

Крепкая рука, крепкая

00:14:54,010 --> 00:14:56,680

А кто еще должен быть?

00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:59,270

- Доктор Оберман.

- Так он...?

00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,980

- Она.

- Конечно, как же иначе.

00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:07,190

Она знает о нашей специфике?

00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,280

Да, и поддерживает нас

00:15:09,530 --> 00:15:13,070

Отлично! Правда, отлично!

00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,450

Нет, спасибо. А!..

00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:18,200

Спасибо

00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:40,480

Это для открытия шейки матки

00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:46,230

Барри?

00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,400

Заходи

00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:49,900

Правда, можно?

00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:54,450

Все нормально.

Робби здесь на много часов

00:15:56,740 --> 00:15:59,330

Как твои дела?

00:15:59,580 --> 00:16:01,660

Я...

00:16:01,910 --> 00:16:04,420

Я в порядке

00:16:04,670 --> 00:16:07,340

Здорово выглядишь

00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,510

"Доктор Фарбер, Джейсон подавился"

00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:15,140

Я сейчас.

Я отойду на минутку

00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,060

Я его бортанула

00:16:38,950 --> 00:16:42,200

Так как мы теперь будем...

00:16:42,450 --> 00:16:43,870

...ну, со всем этим?

00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:47,210

Как будем принимать

важные решения?

00:16:47,460 --> 00:16:48,710

Какие, например?

00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,710

Ну, я не знаю

00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,380

Например, имя ребенка?

00:16:54,630 --> 00:16:58,720

Марлон, если мальчик.

Минни, если девочка

00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:02,270

Как Минни-Маус?

00:17:02,470 --> 00:17:04,480

Как моя бабушка

00:17:04,730 --> 00:17:09,270

Все равно, после "Минни"

просится "Маус"

00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,820

А как насчет...

00:17:12,070 --> 00:17:14,150

К примеру, "Джулия"?

00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,400

Джулия

00:17:15,650 --> 00:17:16,820

Мы решили - Минни

00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:19,740

А мы решили прожить вместе жизнь

00:17:19,990 --> 00:17:23,080

Все меняется. Мало ли что бывает

00:17:23,330 --> 00:17:26,790

Не будем исключать и Джулию?

00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:31,250

Извини, задержался

00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:36,590

Ну, что у тебя новенького?

00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,510

Ничего особенного

00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:39,590

Нашла работу

00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,090

Отлично!

00:17:42,340 --> 00:17:45,310

Откуда такой загар?

00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,600

Я был на Арубе

00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:51,690

Как? Ты поехал

на медовый месяц один?

00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:54,650

Нет

00:17:56,610 --> 00:17:59,530

Видишь ли...

00:17:59,780 --> 00:18:03,030

- Тебе может быть больно.

- Мне?

00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:07,450

Я поехал с Минди

00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:09,620

Минди?

00:18:09,870 --> 00:18:12,710

Моей свидетельницей Минди?

00:18:13,380 --> 00:18:16,750

Мы сейчас встречаемся

00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:20,800

Пересадка волос!

00:18:21,050 --> 00:18:24,220

Осторожно. Они еще не прижились

00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:26,850

И контактные линзы

00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:29,810

Ты же не любишь

лазить пальцем в глаз

00:18:30,060 --> 00:18:33,020

Ради нее я готов

00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:39,400

Слушай, я хочу тебя поблагодарить

00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:42,990

Месяц назад я хотел

сделать тебе больно

00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,660

Больше, чем кому-либо в жизни

00:18:45,910 --> 00:18:48,790

А я ведь стоматолог

00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:51,250

Знаешь, ты была права

00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,330

Я думал, мы были счастливы

00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:56,130

А на самом деле нет

00:18:56,290 --> 00:18:58,750

Но с Минди...

00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,760

...теперь я счастлив

00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:03,180

- Сплюнь.

- Что?

00:19:03,430 --> 00:19:05,890

Это мне

00:19:06,970 --> 00:19:09,930

Ну ладно...

00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:14,600

Я думаю, это принадлежит тебе

00:19:14,850 --> 00:19:17,690

Спасибо, что предложил его мне

00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:21,860

Спасибо, что вернула его

00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:26,820

Аллё!

00:19:28,870 --> 00:19:30,950

Да ну! Чем плохо "Хелен"?

00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,370

Хелен Геллер?

00:19:33,620 --> 00:19:34,790

Нет уж, спасибо!

00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,080

Не будет никакой Хелен Геллер

00:19:37,420 --> 00:19:38,550

Спасибо

00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,300

В смысле, не Геллер

00:19:41,550 --> 00:19:43,890

Она будет Хелен Виллик?

00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:49,900

Вообще-то мы думали насчет

Хелен Виллик-Банч

00:19:50,060 --> 00:19:52,730

Подождите. Причем тут она?

00:19:52,980 --> 00:19:54,820

Это и мой ребенок

00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:59,320

Да? И много ты спермы дала?

00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:03,660

Ой, как страшно ты перетрудился!

00:20:03,910 --> 00:20:05,330

Эй вы, прекратите!

00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:08,500

Если даже она участвует,

то и я там тоже не лишний!

00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:13,670

Что? Хелен Виллик-Банч-Геллер?

Это на грани насилия над детьми!

00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:17,710

Нет, конечно! Я предлагаю

Геллер-Виллик-Банч

00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,930

Нет-нет! Он знает, что

столько фамилий не помнят

00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:25,100

Ее станут называть "Геллер",

и все выйдет, как он хочет

00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:27,350

Как я хочу? Вот это - как я хочу?

00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:31,190

Знаете, вот это меньше всего

похоже на то, как я этого хотел.

00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:35,110

Как угодно, только не так.

Какой-то бред получается

00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,940

Тук-тук! Как у нас дела? Тошнит?

00:20:38,190 --> 00:20:41,660

- Немного.

- Есть такое дело.

00:20:41,860 --> 00:20:46,700

Я спрашивала будущую маму,

но спасибо за откровенность

00:20:46,950 --> 00:20:48,330

Откиньтесь

00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,370

Знаете что, я пойду

00:20:50,620 --> 00:20:56,170

Не хочу я "участвовать"

в этих вот семейных делах

00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,060

Боже мой!

00:21:07,310 --> 00:21:08,560

Посмотрите!

00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:11,770

Вот это да!

00:21:20,990 --> 00:21:24,530

Разве это не чудо?

00:21:26,740 --> 00:21:29,950

А что мы должны там увидеть?

00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:35,580

Не знаю точно, но по-моему

оно готовится напасть на звездолет

00:21:38,170 --> 00:21:41,130

Если наклонить голову

и расфокусировать зрение...

00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:44,630

...то будет похоже

на старую картофелину

00:21:44,890 --> 00:21:48,100

- Тогда не делай так, ладно?

- Хорошо.

00:21:50,850 --> 00:21:53,770

Моника, что скажешь ты?

00:21:55,020 --> 00:21:57,020

- Комок в горле?

- Нет.

00:21:57,270 --> 00:21:58,110

Да, точно

00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,530

- У тебя комок в горле.

- Нет.

00:22:00,780 --> 00:22:04,700

- Ты будешь теткой.

- Да иди ты!

00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:06,530

Привет, Минди!

00:22:06,780 --> 00:22:08,700

Это Рэйчел

00:22:08,950 --> 00:22:13,540

Да, нормально.

Я сегодня была у Барри

00:22:13,790 --> 00:22:17,790

Он мне сказал. Нет, все в порядке.

Правда-правда

00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,550

Желаю вам счастья. Честно

00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:25,380

И знаешь, Минди,

если у вас все получится...

00:22:25,630 --> 00:22:29,300

...если вы поженитесь

и нарожаете детей...

00:22:29,550 --> 00:22:34,140

...хоть бы у них были его волосы

и твой старый нос!

00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:43,030

Знаю-знаю, это дешевка,

но мне так полегчало!

00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,570

Перевод В.Бродового