Эпизод с большим пальцем

00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:08,924

Hey, oh, how did it go?

00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:10,175

Um, not so good.

00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:13,178

He walked me to the subway and said,

"We should do this again."

00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:16,056

- Ouch.

- What? He said, "We should do it again."

00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,307

That's good, right?

00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:20,602

Uh, no. Loosely translated,

"We should do this again," means:

00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,855

"You will never see me naked."

00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:25,274

Since when?

00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:28,819

Since always. It's, like, dating language.

00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:32,239

You know, like, "It's not you,"

means, "It is you."

00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:34,992

"You're such a nice guy," means:

00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,161

"I'm gonna be dating

leather-wearing alcoholics...

00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,788

...and complaining about them to you."

00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:43,292

Or, you know, um, "I think we should see

other people," means:

00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:45,002

"Ha, ha, I already am."

00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,880

And everybody knows this?

00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:50,049

Oh, yeah. Cushions the blow.

00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:52,801

Like when you're a kid

and your parents put your dog to sleep...

00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:55,429

...and they tell you it went off

to live on some farm.

00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:58,682

That's funny.

No, because, uh, our parents actually did...

00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,393

...uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.

00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:04,313

Uh, Ross?

00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:08,567

Ha, ha. Hello.

The Milner's farm in Connecticut?

00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:11,195

The Milners,

they had this unbelievable farm.

00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,947

They had horses and rabbits

that he could chase.

00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:15,991

And it was...

00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,954

Oh, my God. Chi-Chi.

00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:18,095

CHANDLER: "So how does it feel

knowing you're about to die?"

00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:21,640

Warden, in five minutes

my pain will be over.

00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:26,728

But you'll have to live with the knowledge

that you sent an honest man to die.

00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,648

- Hey, that was really good.

- Yeah?

00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,191

- Yeah.

- Thanks. Let's keep going.

00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:36,238

Okay. "So, what do you want

from me, Dimon? Huh?"

00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:42,661

I just wanna go back to my cell,

because in my cell, I can smoke.

00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,621

"Smoke away."

00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:53,964

Heh.

00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:57,384

[COUGHING]

00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:01,513

I think this is probably why Dimon

smokes in his cell alone.

00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:04,391

- What?

- Relax your hand.

00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,351

Let your wrist go.

00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:07,603

- Not so much.

- Whoa.

00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:09,062

Hey.

00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,107

All right. Now try taking a puff.

00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:13,984

Right.

00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:19,239

- Okay, no, give it to me.

- No, no, no. I'm not giving you a cigarette.

00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:22,784

No, it's fine. It's fine. Look, do you want

to get this part or not? Here.

00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:26,622

All right. Now, don't think

of it as a cigarette.

00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:30,834

Think of it as the thing

that has been missing from your hand.

00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,962

When you're holding it, you feel right.

00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,506

- You feel complete.

- You miss it?

00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,342

No, not so much.

00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:42,346

All right. Now we smoke.

00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:47,601

Oh, my God.

00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:56,693

No, no, no.

00:03:56,903 --> 00:04:00,072

They say it's the same as the distance

from the tip of a guy's thumb...

00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:01,907

...to the tip of his index finger.

00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:10,290

That's ridiculous.

00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:13,168

Can I use either thumb?

00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,589

All right. Don't tell me, don't tell me.

00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:21,260

Decaf cappuccino for Joey.

00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,972

Coffee, black.

00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,307

Latte.

00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:30,602

And an iced tea.

00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:34,231

- I'm getting pretty good at this.

- Excellent. That's very good.

00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,857

Good for me.

00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,451

[MUMBLING]

00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:52,457

- You okay, Phoebe?

- Yeah, no, it's not even worth...

00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,001

It's my bank.

00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:55,460

What did they do to you?

00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,504

It's nothing, it's just... Okay.

00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:00,340

I'm going through my mail,

and I open up their monthly "statement."

00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,009

Easy.

00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,680

And there's 500 extra dollars

in my account.

00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:10,142

Oh, Satan's minions at work again.

00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:13,312

Yes, because now I have to go down there

and deal with them...

00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,732

- What are you talking about? Keep it.

- It's not mine.

00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:19,568

I didn't earn it.

If I kept it, it would be like stealing.

00:05:19,777 --> 00:05:23,363

Yeah, but if you spent it,

it would be like shopping.

00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:25,699

Okay. Okay.

00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,993

Let's say I bought

a really great pair of shoes.

00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:30,495

Do you know what I'd hear

with every step I took?

00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:33,123

"Not mine. Not mine. Not mine."

00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,168

And even if I was happy, okay,

and skipping...

00:05:36,377 --> 00:05:39,546

...I'd hear, "Not mine. Not mine."

00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,381

We're with you. We got it.

00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:46,636

Okay, I'd never be able to enjoy it.

It'd be like this giant karmic debt.

00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:49,222

Chandler, what are you doing? Hey.

00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,266

What are you doing?

00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:56,355

Oh, gross.

00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,399

- What is this?

- I'm smoking. I'm smoking. I'm smoking.

00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:02,194

I can't believe you.

You've been so good for three years.

00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,988

And this is my reward.

00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:09,659

Hold on a second. Just think about what

you went through the last time you quit.

00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,745

Okay, so this time I won't quit.

00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:14,456

- Put it out.

- All right. I'm putting it out.

00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,376

Oh, no.

00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,544

I can't drink this now.

00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:25,675

All right, I'm gonna go change.

I've got a date.

00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:28,345

Is this Alan again? How's it going?

00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:32,682

It's going pretty good, you know?

It's nice and we're having fun.

00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,851

- So when do we get to meet the guy?

ROSS: Yeah.

00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,812

Let's see, today's Monday...

00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:38,897

- Never.

- Come on.

00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:42,109

- No, not after what happened with Steve.

- What are you talking about?

00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:45,779

[LISPING]

We love Steve. Steve was sexy.

00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:49,741

[IN NORMAL VOICE]

Sorry.

00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:53,078

Look, I don't know how I feel about him yet.

Give me a chance to figure it out.

00:06:53,287 --> 00:06:54,913

Well, then can we meet him?

00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,456

No.

00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,250

[LISPING]

Sorry.

00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:03,171

Why should I let them meet him?

00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:06,299

I bring a guy home and within five minutes

they're all over him.

00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:10,345

I mean, they're like coyotes picking off

the weak members of the herd.

00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:15,392

Listen, as someone who's seen

more than her share of bad beef...

00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:19,396

...I'll tell you, that is not

such a terrible thing.

00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:22,107

Come on, they're your friends.

They're looking out after you.

00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:25,652

I know, I know. I wish that once I'd

bring a guy home they actually liked.

00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:29,573

Well, you do realize that the odds

of that happening are a little slimmer...

00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:31,616

...if they never get to meet the guy.

00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,120

Let it go, Ross.

00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:37,080

Yeah? Well, you didn't know Chi-Chi.

00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:42,419

MONICA:

Do you all promise?

00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:45,338

- Yeah, we promise. We'll be good.

JOEY: We promise.

00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:48,467

Chandler, do you promise to be good?

00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:52,637

[THUNDER CRASHING]

00:07:56,058 --> 00:08:00,270

You can come in, but your filter tip

little buddy has to stay outside.

00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:08,195

ROSS:

Hey, Pheebs.

00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:13,241

"Dear Ms. Buffay: Thank you

for calling attention to our error.

00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:17,579

We have credited your account $500.

We're sorry for the inconvenience...

00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:20,665

...and hope you'll accept

this football phone...

00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,921

...as our free gift." Do you believe this?

00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:29,382

Now I have $1000 and a football phone.

00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,345

What bank is this?

00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:34,638

[DOOR BUZZES]

00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,389

Okay, it's him.

00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,100

- Who is it?

ALAN: Alan.

00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,102

Chandler. He's here.

00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,608

Okay, please be good. Please?

00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:48,527

I mean, remember how much

you like me.

00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:50,237

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:54,491

Hi. Alan, this is everybody.

Everybody, this is Alan.

00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,370

- Hi.

GROUP: Hey.

00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,457

[LISPING] I've heard so much

about all you guys.

00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:11,174

MONICA:

Thanks, I'll call you tomorrow.

00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:15,679

Okay.

00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:19,307

Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin.

00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,351

Who's gonna take the first shot?

00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,727

Hmm?

00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:24,521

Come on.

00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:26,898

I'll go.

00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,987

Let's start with the way

he kept picking at...

00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:33,655

You know, I'm sorry, I can't do this.

00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:35,323

Can't do it. We loved him.

00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:38,118

GROUP: We loved him.

- Wait a minute.

00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:40,412

We're talking about someone

that I'm going out with?

00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,414

GROUP: Yes.

- And did you notice?

00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:43,957

GROUP:

Yeah.

00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:51,464

Know what was great?

The way his smile was kind of crooked.

00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:53,675

Yes, yes. Like the man in the shoe.

00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:55,677

What shoe?

00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,430

From the nursery rhyme.

00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,890

"There was a crooked man

who had a crooked smile...

00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,727

...who lived in a shoe for a while..."

00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:09,024

So I think Alan...

00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:10,442

...will become the yardstick...

00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:13,403

...against which all future boyfriends

will be measured.

00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,779

What future boyfriends?

00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:17,532

No, no. I think this could be,

you know, "it."

00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:18,825

- Really?

- Oh, yeah.

00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:22,495

I'd marry him just for his

David Hasselhoff impression alone.

00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:25,332

You know I'm gonna be doing that

at parties, right?

00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:31,630

- You know what I like most about him?

- What?

00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,675

The way he makes me feel about myself.

00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:40,055

ALL:

Yeah.

00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:54,861

Hi.

00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:58,365

How was the game?

00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,117

Well...

00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,870

- We won!

- We won! Thank you! Yeah.

00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:07,624

Fantastic. I have one question:

How is that possible?

00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:11,002

- Alan.

- He was unbelievable.

00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:14,756

He was like that Bugs Bunny cartoon

where Bugs is playing all the positions.

00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:18,426

But instead of Bugs, it was first base, Alan.

Second base, Alan...

00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:25,475

I mean, it was like he made us

into a team.

00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,686

Yep. We sure showed

those Hasidic jewelers...

00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:30,522

...a thing or two about softball.

- Nice.

00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,441

Can I ask you guys a question?

00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:36,111

Do you ever think that Alan

is maybe sometimes...

00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:40,281

- What?

- I don't know. A little too Alan?

00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:43,910

Oh, no. That's not possible.

You can never be too Alan.

00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:48,832

Yeah, it's his innate Alan-ness

that we adore.

00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:51,376

- I, personally, could have a gallon of Alan.

- Oh!

00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,218

- Hey, Lizzy.

- Hey, Weird Girl.

00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,138

- I brought you alphabet soup.

- Did you pick out the vowels?

00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:06,349

Yes, but I left in the Y's.

Because, you know, "Sometimes Y."

00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,768

Um, I also have something else for you.

00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,061

Saltines?

00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,647

No, but would you like $1000

and a football phone?

00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,607

What?

00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,318

Oh, my God.

00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,196

- Oh, my God. There's really money in here.

- I know.

00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,115

Weird Girl, what are you doing?

00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:24,242

Oh, I want you to have it. I don't want it.

00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:27,412

No, no. I have to give you something.

00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:29,247

No, it's fine. You don't...

00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,374

Do you want my tinfoil hat?

00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:34,461

No, because you need that.

No, it's okay. Thanks.

00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,796

Please. Let me do something.

00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:38,840

Okay, all right. I'll tell you what.

00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:41,551

You buy me a soda

and then we're even. Okay?

00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:43,803

- Okay.

PHOEBE: Okay.

00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,283

Keep the change.

00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,077

Thanks, Lizzy.

00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:50,453

Sure you don't want a pretzel?

00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:53,665

- No, I'm fine. Thanks.

- See you.

00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,214

Huh.

00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:02,924

A thumb?

00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:04,676

GROUP:

Ew.

00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:07,220

I know, I know.

I opened it up and there it was...

00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:10,849

...just floating in there,

like this tiny little hitchhiker.

00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:15,395

Maybe it's a contest, you know?

Like "Collect all five."

00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,148

Does, um, anyone wanna see?

00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:20,775

No, thanks.

00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:24,237

- Oh, hey, don't do that. Come on.

- Cut that out.

00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:25,947

It's worse than the thumb.

00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:29,534

Hey, this is so unfair.

00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:34,038

- Why is it unfair?

- So I have a flaw. Big deal.

00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,958

Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking

isn't annoying?

00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,335

And Ross, with his over-pronouncing

every single word.

00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:41,671

And Monica, with that snort

when she laughs.

00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,215

I mean, what the hell is that thing?

00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:49,470

I accept all those flaws.

Why can't you accept me for this?

00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:59,898

Does the knuckle-cracking

bother everybody, or just him?

00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,359

Well...

00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:05,528

...I could live without it.

00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,739

Huh.

00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:13,119

Well, is it, like, a little annoying? Or

is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?

00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:19,083

Now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, all right?

I think it's endearing.

00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,544

Oh, you do, do you?

00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:23,922

[LAUGHING]

00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:25,381

[SNORTS]

00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,845

You know, there's nothing wrong

with speaking correctly.

00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:33,848

Indeed there isn't.

00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,769

I should really get back to work.

00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:41,064

Yeah, otherwise someone might

get what they actually ordered.

00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:46,694

Oh. The hair comes out

and the gloves come off.

00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,863

[GROUP SHOUTING]

00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:05,838

Did you ever go out with a guy

your friends all really like?

00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,465

No.

00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:12,887

Okay. Well, I'm going out with a guy

my friends all really like.

00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,724

We talking about the coyotes here?

00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:20,395

Heh. All right. A cow got through.

00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,772

Can you believe it?

00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,565

It's just, you know what?

00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:27,735

I just don't feel the thing.

00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:30,530

I mean, they feel the thing.

I don't feel the thing.

00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:33,366

Honey, you should always...

00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:35,535

...feel the thing.

00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,915

Listen, if that's how you feel

about the guy, Monica, dump him.

00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,042

I know, it's just gonna be really hard.

00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,128

Yeah, he's a big boy. He'll get over it.

00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:50,008

No, he'll be fine.

It's the other five I'm worried about.

00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:52,343

Do you have any respect for your body?

00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,637

Don't you realize

what you're doing to yourself?

00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,098

Hey, you know, I've had it

with you and your cancer...

00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:59,100

...and your emphysema

and your heart disease.

00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:02,937

The bottom line is, smoking is cool,

and you know it.

00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:06,816

Ahem. Chandler?

00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,776

It's Alan. He wants to speak to you.

00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:10,820

Really? He does?

00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:14,407

Hey, buddy. What's up?

00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,369

Oh, she told you about that, huh?

00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:23,166

Well, yeah. I have one now and then.

Well, yeah, now.

00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:25,877

Well, it's not that bad...

00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,672

Well, that's true.

00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:36,179

Gee, you know, no one's

ever put it like that before.

00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:38,723

Well, okay. Thanks.

00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:50,151

God, he's good.

00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,404

If only he were a woman.

00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,406

Yeah.

00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:02,121

CHANDLER:

Oh, Lamb Chop.

00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:04,957

How old is that sock?

00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:09,921

If I had a sock on my hand

for 30 years, it'd be talking too.

00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:16,052

Okay, I think it's time to change

somebody's nicotine patch.

00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:18,846

Hey.

00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:20,807

Where's Joey?

00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:24,143

Joey ate my last stick of gum,

so I killed him.

00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,688

Do you think that was wrong?

00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:32,151

- I think he's across the hall.

- Thanks.

00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:34,195

There you go.

00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:37,240

Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now.

00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:41,077

Hey, Pheebs, you gonna

have the rest of that Pop Tart?

00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,915

Does anyone want the rest

of this Pop Tart?

00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:48,918

Hey, I might.

00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:51,337

I'm sorry.

00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:55,383

You know, those stupid soda people

gave me $7000 for the thumb.

00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:57,635

- Oh, my God.

- Seven thousand dollars?

00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,221

And on my way over here,

I stepped in gum.

00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,850

What is up with the universe?

00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:05,143

What's going on?

00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:08,187

Nothing. I just think it's nice

when we're all here together.

00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:11,524

It's even nicer when everyone

gets to wear their underwear.

00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:17,155

- Uh, Joey...

- Oh.

00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:21,951

MONICA: Okay.

- Oh, come on.

00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,120

Please, guys, we have to talk.

00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:27,123

Wait, wait. I'm getting a déjà vu.

00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:28,624

No, I'm not.

00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:33,629

- All right, we have to talk.

- There it is.

00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,885

Okay, it's about Alan.

00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,846

There's something you should know.

00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:47,393

Oh, man, there's really

no easy way to say this. Uh...

00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:50,813

I've decided to break up with Alan.

00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,361

Is there somebody else?

00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:01,741

No, no, no. It's just...

00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,952

...you know, things change.

People change.

00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:07,205

We didn't change.

00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:11,709

So that's it? It's over?

00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,712

Just like that?

00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:17,548

You know, you let your guard down.

00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:20,843

You know, you start to really care

about someone, and I just...

00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:26,933

- Look, I could go on pretending...

- Okay.

00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,393

No. No, that wouldn't be fair to me...

00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,395

...it wouldn't be fair to Alan,

or to you.

00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:33,689

Yeah, well, who wants fair?

00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:37,777

I mean, I just want things back,

you know, the way they were.

00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:43,908

- I'm sorry.

- Oh, she's sorry. I feel better.

00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,078

I just can't believe this.

00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:51,958

I mean, with the holidays coming up.

I wanted him to meet my family.

00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:56,170

I'll meet someone else.

There'll be other Alans.

00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:57,546

Yeah, right.

00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:05,972

- Are you guys gonna be okay?

- Hey, hey. We'll be fine.

00:21:06,181 --> 00:21:08,808

We're just gonna need a little time.

00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:11,310

I understand.

00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:17,858

Wow.

00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:21,988

- I'm really sorry.

- Yeah. I mean, I'm sorry too.

00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:24,782

But I gotta tell you, I'm a little relieved.

00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,867

- Relieved?

- Yeah, well...

00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:29,412

...I mean, I had a great time with you.

00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,831

I just can't stand your friends.

00:21:39,172 --> 00:21:42,383

Remember when we went

to Central Park and rented boats?

00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:46,178

That was fun.

00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:50,266

Yeah. He could row like a Viking.

00:21:55,105 --> 00:21:57,106

- Hi.

GROUP: Hi.

00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:00,943

So how'd it go?

00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:04,947

- You know.

- Did he mention us?

00:22:10,370 --> 00:22:12,955

He says he's really gonna

miss you guys.

00:22:19,629 --> 00:22:20,838

ROSS:

You had a rough day, huh?

00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:23,841

- Oh, you have no idea.

ROSS: Come here.

00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:29,764

- That's it. I'm getting cigarettes.

GROUP: No, no, no.

00:22:29,973 --> 00:22:31,223

I don't care. I don't care.

00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:34,560

Game's over. I'm weak. I've gotta smoke.

I've gotta have the smoke.

00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:37,355

If you never smoke again,

I'll give you $7000.

00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:40,024

Yeah, all right.

00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:47,823

[English - US - SDH]

00:00:07,710 --> 00:00:08,960

Ой, как прошло свидание?

00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,040

Так себе

00:00:10,290 --> 00:00:14,130

Проводил до метро

и сказал "Ну что, еще увидимся"

00:00:14,380 --> 00:00:17,340

Что такое? Он сказал "Еще увидимся".

Это же хорошо?

00:00:17,590 --> 00:00:20,550

Нет. В свободном переводе это значит:

00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,810

"Голым ты меня не увидишь"

00:00:24,060 --> 00:00:25,350

С каких это пор?

00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:28,850

Да всю жизнь.

Это условный язык отношений

00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:33,440

Типа "дело не в тебе" - это

"дело-то как раз в тебе"

00:00:33,690 --> 00:00:37,490

Или "ты такой славный" - это

"Я буду встречаться с алкоголиком

в черной коже...

00:00:37,740 --> 00:00:40,410

и жаловаться тебе на него."

00:00:40,660 --> 00:00:43,290

А "давай позволим себе отношения

на стороне"

00:00:43,540 --> 00:00:46,210

Означает "Ха-ха,

я уже давно себе позволяю!"

00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:48,670

- И все это знают?

- Конечно!

00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,040

Смягчает удар

00:00:50,290 --> 00:00:52,630

Как в детстве родители,

усыпляя собачку...

00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,170

...якобы отправляли ее "на ферму"

00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:58,720

А кстати, ведь наши родители как раз...

00:00:58,970 --> 00:01:02,550

...и отправили собаку на такую ферму

00:01:02,810 --> 00:01:05,850

Росс...

00:01:05,850 --> 00:01:08,520

Что? Аллё! На ферму Миллнеров

в Коннектикуте!

00:01:08,770 --> 00:01:11,110

У Миллнеров была такая

классная ферма

00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,860

И лошади, и за кроликами побегать...

00:01:14,110 --> 00:01:17,070

А еще там...

00:01:18,570 --> 00:01:22,490

О боже! Чичи!

00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:27,450

1-й сезон, 3-я серия

"Палец"

00:02:15,210 --> 00:02:18,080

"И каково это:

знать, что скоро умрешь?"

00:02:18,330 --> 00:02:21,670

Моя боль через пять минут пройдет

00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:27,680

А тебе придется жить, сознавая,

что ты послал невинного на смерть

00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,930

Это было хорошо!

00:02:30,180 --> 00:02:32,060

Да? Спасибо. Продолжаем

00:02:32,310 --> 00:02:37,770

"Так что ты хочешь от меня, Дамон?

Ну?"

00:02:38,770 --> 00:02:42,690

"Я хочу вернуться в камеру,

ведь там я могу покурить."

00:02:42,940 --> 00:02:45,400

"Что ж, кури!"

00:02:57,870 --> 00:03:02,290

Наверное, именно поэтому Дамон

и курит один в своей камере

00:03:02,540 --> 00:03:04,460

- Что?

- Расслабь руку.

00:03:04,710 --> 00:03:06,460

Не напрягай запястье

00:03:06,710 --> 00:03:09,180

Знай меру

00:03:10,010 --> 00:03:12,300

Теперь попробуй затянуться

00:03:12,550 --> 00:03:15,680

Так...

00:03:15,850 --> 00:03:16,770

А ну-ка дай мне

00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:19,310

Нет-нет, я не дам тебе сигарету!

00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:23,400

Да ну...

Ты хочешь получить роль или нет?

00:03:23,650 --> 00:03:26,650

Так вот. Не думай о ней

как о сигарете

00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:31,410

Это просто недостающая часть

твоей руки

00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:33,950

Теперь она на своем месте

00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,410

Ты чувствуешь завершенность

00:03:35,660 --> 00:03:36,580

Соскучился?

00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:39,870

Не очень

00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,840

Так, теперь курим

00:03:45,090 --> 00:03:49,010

Боже мой!

00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:00,140

Нет, там пишут, что средняя

длина равна расстоянию...

00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:04,230

...от кончика большого пальца

до кончика указательного

00:04:08,530 --> 00:04:11,450

Курам на смех!

00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:14,780

А палец другой руки можно?

00:04:15,330 --> 00:04:18,120

Так, не говорите, не говорите

00:04:18,370 --> 00:04:23,040

Для Джои - капучино без кофеина

00:04:23,210 --> 00:04:25,840

Черный кофе

00:04:26,090 --> 00:04:28,800

Латэ

00:04:29,420 --> 00:04:30,630

И чай со льдом

00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,260

Я все выучила

00:04:32,510 --> 00:04:34,300

Отлично! Прекрасно!

00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:37,350

Я молодчинка!

00:04:49,730 --> 00:04:50,570

Фиби, все нормально?

00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:52,360

Да ничего

00:04:52,610 --> 00:04:54,030

Просто мой банк!

00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:56,370

Что они наделали?

00:04:56,620 --> 00:05:00,540

Я смотрю почту, открываю это их

ежемесячное ИЗВЕЩЕНИЕ!

00:05:00,790 --> 00:05:03,500

Тихо, тихо!

00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,130

А на моем счету лишние 500 долларов

00:05:07,380 --> 00:05:10,590

Ой, снова происки сатаны!

00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:13,340

И теперь надо идти

с ними разбираться!

00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:15,390

Ты чего? Оставь себе!

00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:16,720

Эти деньги - не мои

00:05:16,970 --> 00:05:19,600

Если оставлю, я как бы украду

00:05:19,850 --> 00:05:24,890

А если потратишь,

то как бы приоденешься

00:05:25,940 --> 00:05:27,980

Скажем, куплю я хорошие туфли

00:05:28,230 --> 00:05:30,440

И что я услышу в каждом шаге?

00:05:30,690 --> 00:05:33,280

Не-мои, не-мои, не-мои

00:05:33,530 --> 00:05:36,200

А если от радости бежать вприпрыжку,

00:05:36,450 --> 00:05:39,580

то будет "Не-не-мои, не-не-мои"

00:05:39,830 --> 00:05:42,410

Мы тебя поддерживаем

00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:46,710

В общем, никакой радости.

Возник бы огромный кармический долг

00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,250

Чендлер, что ты делаешь?

00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:52,710

Эй, что ты делаешь?

00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:56,800

Фу, гадость!

00:05:57,050 --> 00:05:58,010

Что это такое?

00:05:58,260 --> 00:05:59,510

Я курю! Я курю!

00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,220

Но ты же держался три года!

00:06:02,470 --> 00:06:06,140

И это - моя награда

00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:09,730

Но ты только вспомни, как тяжело

тебе было бросать в прошлый раз

00:06:09,980 --> 00:06:12,440

Значит, в этот раз я не брошу

00:06:12,690 --> 00:06:15,490

Ладно! Сейчас потушу!

00:06:15,740 --> 00:06:17,240

Ой, нет!

00:06:17,490 --> 00:06:21,080

Теперь это пить нельзя

00:06:23,580 --> 00:06:25,710

Ладно. Пойду переоденусь к свиданию

00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,370

Опять с этим Аланом? Как идут дела?

00:06:28,630 --> 00:06:32,710

Неплохо. Нам хорошо

и интересно вместе

00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,760

А когда нас познакомишь?

00:06:35,010 --> 00:06:36,840

Так, сегодня понедельник...

00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:38,760

Никогда!

00:06:39,010 --> 00:06:40,970

Нет уж, после того,

что было со Стивом

00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:42,220

Ты о чем?

00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:47,270

Мы любили Штива. Штив был ш-шупер!

00:06:48,810 --> 00:06:49,690

Прошу прощения

00:06:49,940 --> 00:06:53,020

Я еще даже не разобралась

в своих чувствах. Надо подумать

00:06:53,270 --> 00:06:55,900

- Так познакомишь?

- Нет.

00:06:56,530 --> 00:06:58,610

Проштите!

00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:03,240

Вот зачем мне это надо?

00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:06,830

Я привожу парня, и через пять минут

они уже рвут его...

00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:10,790

...как шакалы - беспомощную жертву

00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:15,460

Послушай меня. Я повидала

много всякого дерьма в штанах...

00:07:15,710 --> 00:07:19,430

...и скажу, что не так уж

это и плохо

00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,140

Твои друзья о тебе заботятся

00:07:22,390 --> 00:07:25,680

Вот бы хоть раз привести домой

парня, который бы им понравился

00:07:25,930 --> 00:07:29,520

Ну, понимаешь, вряд ли это

вообще случится...

00:07:29,770 --> 00:07:33,310

...если ты так никогда их

и не познакомишь

00:07:33,570 --> 00:07:35,070

Успокойся, Росс

00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,650

Ты не знал Чичи

00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:42,370

Вы все обещаете?

00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:45,240

Обещаем вести себя хорошо!

00:07:45,490 --> 00:07:49,910

Чендлер, ты обещаешь?

00:07:56,170 --> 00:08:01,840

Заходи, но оставь снаружи

своего маленького друга с фильтром!

00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:11,270

"Уважаемая мисс Буффе:

00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,100

Спасибо за указание на нашу ошибку

00:08:13,350 --> 00:08:17,530

Мы пополнили ваш счет на 500 дол.

Приносим вам извинения.

00:08:17,780 --> 00:08:22,240

В качестве компенсации примите

этот футбольный телефон...

00:08:23,910 --> 00:08:25,910

...от банка в подарок."

Ну как вам?

00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:30,910

Теперь у меня тысяча долларов

и футбольный телефон!

00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:34,080

А какой у тебя банк?

00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:37,880

Ну все, это он

00:08:38,090 --> 00:08:39,170

- Кто там?

- Алан.

00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:42,630

Чендлер! Он пришел!

00:08:44,220 --> 00:08:46,600

Умоляю, будьте умницами

00:08:46,850 --> 00:08:51,020

Помните, как вы меня любите

00:08:51,980 --> 00:08:56,060

Алан, это все. Все, это Алан

00:08:59,530 --> 00:09:03,950

Я штолько про ваш шлышал!

00:09:09,620 --> 00:09:12,910

Ну пока. Созвонимся завтра

00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,340

Теперь можете начинать

расправу над Аланом

00:09:19,590 --> 00:09:22,970

Кто нанесет первый удар?

00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:25,180

Ну давайте!

00:09:25,430 --> 00:09:28,350

Я начну

00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:32,060

Что это он все время...

00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:33,690

Извини, не могу

00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,350

Мы его полюбили

00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:36,860

Обожаем его!

00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,190

Подождите!

00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,360

Это вы о парне,

с которым я встречаюсь?

00:09:41,610 --> 00:09:44,900

А вы заметили?

00:09:48,580 --> 00:09:51,540

Круто, что у него улыбка

немножко зловещая

00:09:51,790 --> 00:09:54,290

Да! Как у человека в ботинке!

00:09:54,540 --> 00:09:56,830

Каком ботинке?

00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,420

Из детской песенки

00:09:58,670 --> 00:10:00,840

"Человек в ботинке жил,

улыбался злобно.

00:10:01,090 --> 00:10:05,300

Тот ботинок теплый был,

было в нем удобно."

00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,140

Так что отныне Алан...

00:10:09,390 --> 00:10:13,480

...станет тем аршином, которым

мы будем мерить всех твоих парней

00:10:13,730 --> 00:10:14,890

Каких еще парней?

00:10:15,140 --> 00:10:18,310

- Нет, это и есть "тот самый".

- Правда?

00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:22,530

Я бы вышел за него за одну только

пародию на Дэвида Хасселхофа

00:10:22,780 --> 00:10:26,700

Теперь я буду делать

этот номер в компаниях!

00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:32,200

- А знаете, чем он особенно хорош?

- Чем?

00:10:32,450 --> 00:10:37,170

В его присутствии я сам нравлюсь себе

00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,400

Как прошла игра?

00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:04,370

Мы выиграли!

00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:08,370

Потрясающе! Вопрос: а так бывает?

00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:10,830

- Это Алан.

- Он просто лучший!

00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:14,630

Как Багс Банни -

сразу во всех местах

00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:19,840

На 1-й базе Алан, на 2-й - Алан...

00:11:21,970 --> 00:11:25,470

Именно он сделал нас командой

00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:31,770

Мы показали кузькину мать

этим еврейским ювелирам

00:11:31,770 --> 00:11:33,400

Можно вопрос?

00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:36,110

Вам не кажется, что иногда...

00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:37,320

Что?

00:11:37,570 --> 00:11:40,150

Алана бывает слишком много?

00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,870

Нет, невозможно.

Его много не бывает

00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:48,830

Мы обожаем этот исходящий

от него "аланизм"

00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:52,830

Да, больше аланизма

для пользы организма

00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,340

Привет, Лиззи

00:11:58,590 --> 00:11:59,920

Привет, двинутая

00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:03,140

- Я тебе супчика с буквами купила.

- А гласные повыбирала?

00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:07,390

Да, но букву "Ё" оставила.

Без нее, понимаешь...

00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:08,770

И еще кое-что

00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,020

Соленые крекеры?

00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:12,890

Нет. Хочешь 1000 долларов и телефон?

00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:15,400

Что?

00:12:15,650 --> 00:12:17,230

О боже!

00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,240

- Это настоящие деньги.

- Ага.

00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,070

Ты чего это, двинутая?

00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,280

Хочу отдать их тебе. Мне не нужно

00:12:25,530 --> 00:12:27,370

Нет, я должна дать что-то взамен

00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:29,200

Нет, не обязательно

00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:31,370

Хочешь шапочку из фольги?

00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:34,420

Нет, она тебе нужнее. Спасибо

00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:37,130

Пожалуйста, ну хоть что-нибудь

00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:43,010

Ладно, купи мне газировки -

и мы квиты. Хорошо?

00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:47,820

Сдачи не надо

00:13:48,070 --> 00:13:48,950

Спасибо, Лиззи!

00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,410

Точно не хочешь бублик?

00:13:50,660 --> 00:13:55,250

- Нет, спасибо.

- Тогда пока.

00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,880

Большой палец?!

00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:07,220

Ага. Открываю, а он там...

00:14:07,470 --> 00:14:12,260

...плавает, как бы говоря:

"Подъехал, блин, автостопом!"

00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:16,850

Может, это акция?

Типа "Собери все пять"?

00:14:17,850 --> 00:14:19,100

Хотите посмотреть?

00:14:19,350 --> 00:14:22,230

Нет, спасибо!

00:14:22,650 --> 00:14:24,190

Нет-нет, брось это!

00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:27,400

Это еще хуже пальца

00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,490

Знаете, так нечестно

00:14:29,740 --> 00:14:31,120

Почему это нечестно?

00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:34,080

Ну, у меня плохая привычка!

Большое дело!

00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:36,960

А что, хруст пальцев Джои

никого не раздражает?

00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,330

А как Росс

подчеркивает каждое слово!

00:14:39,580 --> 00:14:41,880

А Моника хрюкает, когда смеется

00:14:42,130 --> 00:14:45,880

Это что, нормально?

00:14:46,090 --> 00:14:50,890

Я терплю все ваши привычки.

Потерпите и вы меня!

00:14:56,560 --> 00:15:01,360

Мой хруст пальцами раздражает

всех или только его?

00:15:03,730 --> 00:15:07,030

Ну, я бы прожила и без него

00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:14,490

А он раздражает чуть-чуть или

так же, как Фиби, жующая волосы?

00:15:15,910 --> 00:15:19,040

Не слушай его, Фибс.

Это очень мило

00:15:19,290 --> 00:15:23,040

Да не-у-же-ли в са-мом де-ле?

00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:30,840

Не вижу ничего плохого

в правильной четкой речи.

00:15:31,090 --> 00:15:35,350

Со-вер-шен-но вер-но

00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:37,720

Пойду-ка я работать

00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:42,850

А то не дай бог кто-то вовремя

получит свой заказ

00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:48,240

Ой-ой-ой, выплюнула волосы -

открылась варежка!

00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:05,880

У тебя когда-нибудь был парень,

которого любили все твои друзья?

00:16:06,130 --> 00:16:08,670

Нет

00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:14,010

А вот моего все мои друзья обожают

00:16:14,260 --> 00:16:16,760

Это те самые шакалы?

00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:21,140

Надо же, какая зубастая дичь!

00:16:21,390 --> 00:16:22,770

Представляешь?

00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:24,600

Но знаешь, в чем беда?

00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:27,610

Я не ощущаю "того самого"

00:16:27,860 --> 00:16:30,440

Они "то самое" ощущают. А я - нет

00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:33,490

Милая, поверь мне...

00:16:33,740 --> 00:16:36,990

..."то самое" нужно даже пощупать

00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:41,200

Но если все так плохо, Моника -

то брось его

00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:43,080

Это будет тяжело

00:16:43,330 --> 00:16:45,170

Он большой мальчик. Переживет

00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:50,460

Он-то - да. Меня волнуют те пятеро

00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,380

Ты подумал о своем здоровье?

00:16:52,630 --> 00:16:54,720

Что ты с собой делаешь?

00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:56,970

Да понял я все: и про рак...

00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:59,060

...и про эмфизему, и про сердце

00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:04,350

Но самое главное - курить приятно,

и вы это знаете

00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:08,730

Чендлер, Алан хочет

поговорить с тобой

00:17:08,980 --> 00:17:12,320

Правда? Поговорить со мной?

00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:15,860

Привет, дружище! Как дела?

00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:19,030

Так она тебе сказала, да?

00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:23,960

Да, время от времени.

И сейчас тоже

00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:27,330

Да что тут такого...

00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:31,460

Да, это правда

00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:36,470

Ух ты, в таком свете

я об этом не думал

00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:40,220

Ладно, спасибо

00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:51,650

Как это ему удается?

00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:54,900

- Как жаль, что он не женщина...

- О да!

00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:02,120

Опять эта овца!

00:18:02,370 --> 00:18:05,660

Сколько лет этому носку?

00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:11,300

Если бы я проносил носок на руке

30 лет, он бы тоже заговорил

00:18:11,420 --> 00:18:17,590

Так, пора сменить кое-кому

никотиновый пластырь

00:18:20,010 --> 00:18:20,850

Где Джои?

00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:25,640

Он съел мою последнюю жвачку,

и я его убил

00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:29,270

Думаешь, я был неправ?

00:18:29,350 --> 00:18:32,270

По-моему, он у себя

00:18:32,610 --> 00:18:34,650

Вот так

00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:37,990

У-у, я весь аж засиял

от удовольствия

00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:42,410

Фибс, будешь это доедать? Фибс.

00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:47,210

Кто-нибудь хочет это доесть?

00:18:47,410 --> 00:18:49,670

Я бы не отказался

00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,750

Извини

00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:57,050

Подлые производители воды выплатили

мне 7 000 долларов компенсации

00:18:57,630 --> 00:19:01,640

А по пути назад

я вступила в жвачку

00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,850

Куда катится вселенная?

00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:05,060

Что такое?

00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,940

Так хорошо, когда друзья

собираются вместе

00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:12,990

Еще лучше, если кому-то

дадут надеть трусы

00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,000

Ребята, прошу вас, нужно поговорить

00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,080

Стоп!

00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,080

У меня дежавю

00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:30,040

Нет, нету

00:19:31,340 --> 00:19:32,380

Так вот, надо поговорить

00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,090

Вот опять!

00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,340

Это насчет Алана

00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:43,180

Я хочу кое-что вам сказать

00:19:43,220 --> 00:19:48,020

Говорить это мне нелегко

00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:52,230

Но я решила его бросить

00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,660

У тебя есть кто-то другой?

00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:01,660

Нет-нет, просто...

00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:04,870

...все меняется. Люди меняются

00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:08,870

Мы не меняемся

00:20:09,630 --> 00:20:13,130

И все? Все кончено?

00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:15,510

Вот так просто?

00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:22,180

Только разрушишь эту стену

и пустишь кого-то в свое сердце...

00:20:24,350 --> 00:20:28,190

- Ну, я могла бы притворяться...

- Давай!

00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,480

Но это было бы нечестно

по отношению ко всем нам

00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,770

Да кому нужна эта честность!

00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:39,320

Я хочу, чтобы у нас

все было как раньше

00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:40,570

Извини

00:20:40,820 --> 00:20:45,370

Она извинилась! Мне сразу полегчало!

00:20:45,580 --> 00:20:47,000

Мне прямо не верится!

00:20:47,250 --> 00:20:52,920

На выходные я хотела познакомить

его с родителями

00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:56,130

Я познакомлюсь с кем-то другим.

Будут и другие Аланы

00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:59,010

Да, конечно!

00:21:02,340 --> 00:21:04,010

Как вы, ребята, переживете?

00:21:04,260 --> 00:21:05,890

Да ну, переживем

00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:09,310

Нам просто понадобится время

00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,900

Я понимаю

00:21:18,030 --> 00:21:18,990

Извини, ради бога

00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:22,360

И ты меня извини

00:21:22,610 --> 00:21:24,700

Но надо сказать,

мне даже полегчало

00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:25,950

Полегчало?

00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,870

Ну, с тобой-то мне было хорошо

00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:34,130

Но вот твоих друзей я не выношу

00:21:39,150 --> 00:21:44,110

Помните, как мы катались на лодках

в Центральном Парке?

00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:47,700

Так здорово было

00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:51,870

Он греб прямо как викинг

00:21:59,210 --> 00:22:01,590

Ну, как все прошло?

00:22:02,010 --> 00:22:02,840

Да так

00:22:03,090 --> 00:22:06,470

Он про нас вспоминал?

00:22:10,350 --> 00:22:14,600

Сказал, что будет очень

по вам скучать

00:22:19,610 --> 00:22:20,820

Тяжелый был день?

00:22:21,070 --> 00:22:22,400

Не говори

00:22:22,650 --> 00:22:25,650

Иди ко мне

00:22:27,450 --> 00:22:30,080

- Ну все! Иду за сигаретами.

- Нет, нет, нет!

00:22:30,330 --> 00:22:31,240

Мне плевать! Конец игры!

00:22:31,490 --> 00:22:34,540

Я слабый! Я хочу курить!

Я покурю!

00:22:34,790 --> 00:22:38,330

Если бросишь курить навсегда,

я дам тебе 7 000 долларов

00:22:38,580 --> 00:22:41,710

Хорошо, согласен

00:22:43,420 --> 00:22:45,420

Перевод В.Бродового