Эпизод с Джорджем Стефанопулосом

00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,254

- Okay. All right, Phoebe?

- Okay, okay.

00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:09,883

If I were omnipotent for a day,

I would want, um, world peace...

00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:13,178

...no more hunger,

good things for the rain forest.

00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:15,556

And bigger boobs.

00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,852

Well, see, you took mine, so...

00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:22,438

Chandler, what about you?

00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:26,025

If I were omnipotent for a day,

I'd make myself omnipotent forever.

00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,527

Heh. See, there's always one guy.

00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,405

"If I had a wish,

I'd wish for three more wishes."

00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:32,948

[ALL CHUCKLE]

00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:35,534

ROSS & MONICA: Hey, Joey.

- Hey, buddy.

00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,828

What would you do

if you were omnipotent?

00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:40,831

Probably kill myself.

00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,250

Excuse me?

00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:47,087

Hey, if Little Joey's dead,

then I got no reason to live, you know?

00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:51,383

Joey, uh, omnipotent.

00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:55,054

You are?

00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:56,930

Ross, I'm...

00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:51,485

How does she do that?

00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,822

I cannot sleep in a public place.

00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:56,323

Would you look at her?

00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:59,660

- She's so peaceful.

- Yeah.

00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:00,994

[BOTH SCREAM]

00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:03,622

What? What? Hi.

00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,958

It's okay, you know.

You just nodded off again.

00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,127

- Oh.

- What's going on with you?

00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:09,920

- I got no sleep last night.

ROSS: Why?

00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:13,090

My grandmother

has this new boyfriend...

00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:17,177

...and they're both kind of insecure

in bed, so...

00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:18,887

And deaf.

00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:24,726

So they're constantly having to reassure

each other that they're having a good time.

00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:26,937

You have no idea how loud they are.

00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:32,109

- You can stay with Rachel and me tonight.

- Thanks.

00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,278

Ninety-five, 96, 97.

00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:38,657

See, I told you.

Less than 100 steps from our place to here.

00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,660

You got way too much free time, man.

00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,913

Hey, there's the birthday boy.

00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:46,915

Ross, check it out. Hockey tickets.

00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,710

Rangers-Penguins tonight at the Garden.

We're taking you.

00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,879

- Happy birthday, pal.

- We love you, man.

00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:53,547

[ROSS CHUCKLES]

00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:57,217

It's funny,

my birthday was seven months ago.

00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,095

- So?

- So I'm guessing you had an extra ticket...

00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:03,557

...and couldn't decide

which one of you got to bring a date? Huh?

00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:06,977

Well, aren't we

Mr. The-Glass-is-Half-Empty?

00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,688

Oh, my God. Oh.

00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,857

Is today the 20th? October 20th?

00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,568

- I was hoping you wouldn't remember.

- Oh.

00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,153

What's wrong with the 20th?

00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:19,698

Eleven days before Halloween?

All the good costumes are gone?

00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:23,118

Today's the day Carol and I...

00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:26,830

...first consummated...

00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:29,791

...our physical relationship.

00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,461

We had sex.

00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,715

You know what?

I better pass on the game.

00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:41,970

I think I'm just gonna go home and think

about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.

00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,807

The hell with hockey. Let's all do that.

00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:49,978

Come on, Ross. You, me, Joey, ice?

00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:52,397

Guys' night out?

Come on, what do you say, big guy?

00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,191

Huh? Huh? Huh?

00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:56,777

- What are you doing?

- I have no idea.

00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,195

Come on, Ross.

00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:01,156

All right, all right.

Maybe it will take my mind off it.

00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,825

- You promise to buy me a big foam finger?

JOEY: You got it.

00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:06,912

- All right.

- Look, look, look. My first paycheck.

00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,121

[ALL CHATTERING]

00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:12,626

Look at the window.

There's my name. Hi, me.

00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,837

I remember the day

I got my first paycheck.

00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:19,424

There was a cave-in in one of the mines,

and eight people were killed.

00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:22,970

Wow, you worked in a mine?

00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:25,806

No, I worked at a Dairy Queen. Why?

00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:31,895

God, isn't this exciting? I earned this.

00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:34,523

I wiped tables for it. I steamed milk for it.

00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,025

And it was totally...

00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:39,486

...not worth it.

00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:42,364

Who's FICA?

Why's he getting all my money?

00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,660

I mean, what...? Chandler, look at that.

00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:50,372

Oh, this is not that bad.

00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,624

Oh, you're fine, yeah, for a first job.

00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:58,922

- You can totally, totally live on this.

MONICA: Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,382

By the way, great service today.

00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:01,675

- Ooh.

- Oh, yeah.

00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,302

MONICA: Terrific.

- It was excellent.

00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:06,471

CHANDLER: Unbelievable.

And all that milk and stuff? Great.

00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:09,224

CHANDLER & JOEY: Hockey.

- Hockey. Hockey.

00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:22,529

CHANDLER & JOEY: Hockey.

- Hockey. Hockey. Hockey.

00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:25,615

Rachel?

00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:26,825

[GASPS]

00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,035

Oh, my God!

00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:29,328

[ALL SHRIEKING]

00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:37,085

I swear I've seen birds do this

on Wild Kingdom.

00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,255

What are you guys doing here?

00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:43,633

Well, we were in the city shopping,

and your mom said you work here...

00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:46,136

...and it's true.

00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:48,013

Yeah.

00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:51,475

Look at you in the apron.

You look like you're in a play.

00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:58,023

God, look at you. You are so big.

I can't believe it.

00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,734

I know, I know. I'm a duplex.

00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:03,695

RACHEL:

So, what's going on with you?

00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:07,491

Well, guess who my dad's making partner

in his firm.

00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,285

[ALL SHRIEK]

00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:13,455

And while we're on the subject

of news...

00:06:13,664 --> 00:06:15,999

[ALL SHRIEK]

00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:17,959

Look, look. I have elbows.

00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:19,211

[BOTH SHRIEK]

00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,718

Passes it up to Leetch.

00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,887

Leetch spots Messier in the crease.

Here's the pass.

00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,889

Oh. Oh.

00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:35,268

We'll take a time-out while Messier stops

to look at some women's shoes.

00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:41,024

Carol was wearing boots just like those

the night that we first...

00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,651

...you know.

00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,403

In fact, she, uh...

00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,696

She never took them off. Ha, ha.

00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:49,366

It's because we... Sorry. Sorry.

00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:51,827

I can't believe...

00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,954

[ROSS SIGHS]

00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,082

- What?

- Peach pit.

00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,583

Yes, bunny?

00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,336

Peach pit.

00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:04,339

- That night, we, uh, had...

- Peaches?

00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,967

Actually, nectarines, but basically.

00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,138

- Could've been a peach.

- Then we, uh...

00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:15,475

Then we got dressed

and I walked her to...

00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:17,811

...the bus stop.

00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,313

I'm fine.

00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:22,607

Hey, that woman's got an ass

like Carol's.

00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,282

What?

I thought we were trying to find stuff.

00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,119

Oh, come on, you guys.

Tell me all the dirt.

00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:38,123

Well, the biggest news

is still you dumping Barry at the altar.

00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:44,004

- All right, let's talk reality for a second.

- Okay.

00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:46,506

- When are you coming home?

- What?

00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:47,799

Guys, I'm not.

00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:52,637

- Heh. Come on. This is us.

- I'm not.

00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:56,308

This is what I'm doing now.

I've got this job.

00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,143

Waitressing?

00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:01,062

Heh. I'm not just waitressing.

00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:03,690

I mean, I'm...

00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,525

I, um...

00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:09,654

I write the specials

on the specials board.

00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:13,992

And I take the dead flowers

out of the vase.

00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:19,080

Um, oh, and sometimes Arturo lets me put

the little chocolate blobbies on the cookies.

00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:22,083

Well, your mom didn't tell us

about the blobbies.

00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:32,135

[WHIRRING]

00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,347

MONICA:

Hey, Rach. How was it with your friends?

00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,474

[MONICA & PHOEBE SHRIEK]

00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:43,021

Okay, how would you like

some Tiki Death Punch?

00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,231

What's that?

00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:47,359

- Well, it's rum and...

- Okay.

00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:53,198

We thought since Phoebe's staying over

we'd have a slumber party.

00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,951

We got some trashy magazines,

we got cookie dough, we got Twister.

00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:57,285

[PHONE RINGS]

00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:59,871

Ooh, ooh. And I brought Operation.

00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:04,000

But I lost the tweezers,

so we can't operate.

00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:07,003

But we can prep the guy.

00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,258

Rach, it's the Visa-card people.

00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:13,718

Oh, God. Ask them what they want.

00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:17,222

Could you please tell me

what this is in reference to?

00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,140

Yes, hold on.

00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:21,893

Um, they say there's been unusual activity

on your account.

00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:26,314

- But I haven't used my card in weeks.

- That is the unusual activity.

00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,652

They just wanna see if you're okay.

00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,779

They wanna know if I'm okay?

00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,282

Okay, they wanna know if I'm okay.

Okay, let's see.

00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:38,868

Well, let's see.

The FICA guys took all my money.

00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:42,914

Everyone I know is either getting married

or getting pregnant or getting promoted...

00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,583

...and I'm getting coffee.

00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,876

And it's not even for me.

00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:50,630

So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay,

then you can tell them I'm okay. Okay?

00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:56,845

Uh, Rachel has left the building.

00:09:57,888 --> 00:10:01,516

- Can you call back?

- All right. Come on.

00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:04,603

[IN STRAINED VOICE]

Let's play Twister.

00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:07,188

["CHARGE" PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]

00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:16,114

- Sorry.

- Sorry, sorry, sorry.

00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,657

Uh-oh.

00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:20,577

What? There was ice there

that night with Carol?

00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:24,831

Plastic seats?

Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?

00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:29,210

No, actually, I was just saying

it looks like we're not sitting together.

00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:33,131

But now that you mention it,

there was ice there that night.

00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:36,259

It was the first frost.

00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:39,346

- We were...

- Sit. Just sit down. Sit.

00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:40,805

You should feel great.

00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:43,141

You're doing this amazing

independent thing.

00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,435

Monica, what is so amazing?

00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:50,065

I gave up like everything. And for what?

00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:51,775

You are just like Jack.

00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:53,735

Jack from downstairs?

00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:57,405

No, Jack and the Beanstalk.

00:10:57,615 --> 00:11:00,367

- Ah, the other Jack.

- Yeah, right.

00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:04,162

See, he gave up something,

but then he got those magic beans.

00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:08,541

And then he woke up

and there was this big plant...

00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:12,170

...outside of his window,

full of possibilities and stuff.

00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:16,007

And he lived in a village,

and you live in the Village.

00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:20,011

Okay, but, Pheebs, Pheebs,

Jack gave up a cow.

00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,472

I gave up an orthodontist.

00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,016

Okay, I know I didn't love him, but...

00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,936

Oh, see, Jack did love the cow.

00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:31,314

But, see, it was a plan, you know?

It was clear.

00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:34,693

Everything was figured out,

and now everything's just kind of like...

00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,903

- Flupie?

- Yeah.

00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,157

You're not the only one.

We don't know where we're going.

00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:44,077

You gotta figure, at some point,

it's gonna come together...

00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:47,080

...and it's just gonna be "unflupie."

00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:48,832

Yeah, like that's a word.

00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:55,505

Okay, but, Monica,

what if it doesn't come together?

00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:59,300

Pheebs?

00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:03,680

Well, because you just...

I don't like this question.

00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:08,435

Okay, see? See, you guys?

What if we don't get magic beans?

00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:11,271

I mean, what if all we've got are...

00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,356

...beans?

00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:20,196

Get him! Get him! Get him!

00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:23,575

Get... Yes!

You're not laughing now, are you, pal?

00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:27,370

That's all you need, a bunch of toothless

guys hitting each other with sticks.

00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,831

Pass it. Pass it.

00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:33,877

CHANDLER: He's open, he's open.

Shoot it, shoot it, shoot it!

00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:36,379

[ROSS GROANS]

00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,548

- Whoa. Oh.

- Whoa.

00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:43,178

- Hey, look, we're on that TV thing.

- Ooh, ooh, ooh.

00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:46,014

- I got it!

- Hey, hey, we got it! Hey!

00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,777

Excuse me.

00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:03,281

It says to call this number if you're not

completely satisfied with this candy bar.

00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:10,413

Well, I'm not completely satisfied.

00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,665

Listen, it's kind of an emergency.

00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:15,293

I guess you'd know that,

or we'd be in the predicament room.

00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,086

[CHANDLER CHUCKLES]

00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,633

Hold on. Fill these out. Sit over there.

00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,010

ROSS: Look, I don't wanna

make any trouble, okay?

00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:28,473

But I'm in a lot of pain here, all right?

My face is dented.

00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:32,894

- Well, you'll have to wait your turn.

- Well, how long do you think it'll be?

00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:34,896

Any minute now.

00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,148

[LAUGHS]

00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,151

ROSS:

Hey, listen... Ooh.

00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:43,571

[MELANCHOLY POP SONG PLAYING

ON STEREO]

00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:48,827

I wake up and I start to cry

00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,954

Ain't no hope in...

00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:56,209

Oh. I'm so sorry, you guys.

I didn't mean to bring you down.

00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,753

No, you were right.

00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,714

I don't have a plan.

00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:03,341

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:04,926

MAN:

Pizza guy.

00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,011

- Thank God.

- Food.

00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:09,389

- Phoebe?

PHOEBE: What?

00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:13,810

- Do you have a plan?

- I don't even have a "pla."

00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,606

Hi. One mushroom,

green pepper and onion?

00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:22,819

No, no, no. That's not what we ordered.

00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:27,115

We ordered a fat-free crust

with extra cheese.

00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:32,328

- Wait, you're not G. Stephanopoulos?

- No.

00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:35,623

- Oh, man. My dad's gonna kill me.

- Wait.

00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:39,127

Did you say G. Stephanopoulos?

00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:41,921

Yeah, this one goes across the street.

I must have given him yours.

00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:44,382

Oh, bonehead. Bonehead.

00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:49,888

Wait, was this a small Mediterranean guy

with curiously intelligent good looks?

00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:52,265

Yeah, that sounds about right.

00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:56,477

- Was he wearing a stunning blue suit?

- And a power tie?

00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,105

No, pretty much just a towel.

00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,149

- Oh, God.

- Oh. Oh.

00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,443

- Oh, my God.

- You want me to take this back?

00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:07,447

What? Are you nuts?

We've got George Stephanopoulos' pizza.

00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,533

Here.

00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:13,703

- Uh, Pheebs?

- Yeah?

00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,330

Who's George Snuffleupagus?

00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,417

That's Big Bird's friend.

00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:21,210

[LAUGHS]

00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:23,755

I see pizza.

00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,049

PHOEBE:

Oh, I wanna see. Let me see. Let me see.

00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:28,259

Hello? Who are we spying on?

00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:31,638

You know the White House adviser?

Clinton's campaign guy?

00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:35,224

The one with the great hair,

sexy smile, really cute butt?

00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:39,395

Oh, him. The little guy. Oh, I love him.

00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,732

Ooh. Oh, wait. Wait, I see a woman.

00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,984

Tell me it's his mother.

00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:47,820

- Definitely not his mother.

- Oh, no.

00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:50,073

Oh, wait, she's walking across the floor.

00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,992

She's walking, she's walking.

00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,746

She's going for the pizza.

Hey, that's not for you, bitch!

00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:04,921

WOMAN [OVER PA]:

Dr. Max to Center 456.

00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:08,841

Dr. Max to Center 456.

00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:10,927

[WHOOSHES]

00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:14,097

Excuse me.

We've been here for over an hour...

00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,683

...and people less sick than my friend

have gone in.

00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:19,936

I mean, that guy with the toe thing?

Who's he sleeping with?

00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:26,025

Oh, come on, Dora. Don't be mad.

00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:28,736

I know we both said some things...

00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:31,406

...we didn't mean...

00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:34,867

...but that doesn't mean

we still don't love each other.

00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:37,996

You know, I feel like I've lost her.

00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:39,372

[YELLS]

00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,918

- Lights still out?

- Yeah.

00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:46,004

Well, maybe they're napping.

00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:48,965

Heh. Please. They're having sex.

00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,633

MONICA & PHOEBE:

Shut up.

00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:59,267

So, what do you think George is like?

00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,811

- I think he's shy.

- Oh, yeah?

00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:04,605

Yeah. I think you have to draw him out.

00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:08,735

And then when you do,

he's a preppy animal.

00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:11,362

[ALL LAUGHING]

00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:13,364

Come on.

00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:16,868

I remember the moonlight coming in

through the open window...

00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,538

...and her face

had the most incredible glow.

00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:23,916

Yes, the moon, the glow,

the magical feeling.

00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:25,126

You did this part.

00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:28,337

Could I get some painkillers over here,

please?

00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:32,759

He's right, enough already.

What is the big deal about today?

00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:35,595

So you slept with her for the first time.

So what?

00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:38,181

You slept with her

for seven years after that.

00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:41,809

It's just a little more complicated

than that.

00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:44,771

What? What is it? That she left you?

That she likes women?

00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:47,106

That she left you for a woman

that likes women?

00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:48,316

A little louder.

00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:51,652

There's a man on the 12th floor in a coma

who didn't quite hear you.

00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:56,365

Then what?

00:17:57,493 --> 00:18:00,161

My first time with Carol was...

00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,370

Was my...

00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:02,747

[MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY]

00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:05,041

What?

00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:10,379

It was my first...

00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:11,964

...time.

00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:14,842

With Carol?

00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:20,973

Oh.

00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:24,519

So in your whole life,

you've only been with one?

00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:25,937

Oh.

00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:30,817

Oh, boy. Hockey was a big mistake.

00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:34,445

There's a whole bunch of stuff

we could've done tonight.

00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:38,241

Okay. Okay, I got one.

00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:43,538

Do you remember that vegetarian pâté

that I made that you loved so much?

00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:44,747

Uh-huh.

00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:45,957

[MONICA & RACHEL GIGGLE]

00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,252

Well, unless goose is a vegetable...

00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:52,630

- Oh! Oh!

MONICA & RACHEL: Ha-ha-ha.

00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,340

Okay, fine, fine.

00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:57,135

Now I don't feel so bad

about sleeping with Jason Hurley.

00:18:57,594 --> 00:19:01,389

- What? You slept with Jason?

- You had already broken up.

00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:04,058

- How long?

- Just a couple hours.

00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:06,227

Oh, that's nice.

00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,855

Okay, okay, okay, I got one.

00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:11,899

Anyway.

00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:15,778

The valentine Tommy Rollerson left

in your locker was really from me.

00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:17,488

Excuse me?

00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:21,826

Oh, hello?

Like he was really gonna send you one.

00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,414

She was a big girl.

00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:27,915

[LAUGHS]

00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:29,125

Really?

00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:34,589

Well, at least big girls don't pee

in their pants in seventh grade.

00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:37,550

I was laughing. You made me laugh.

00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,344

Oh, my God.

There he is. There he is. There he is.

00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:43,973

- Where?

- Right where we've been looking all night.

00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:47,101

- Oh, he's so cute.

- Oh, George, baby, drop the towel.

00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:49,520

- Come on, drop the towel.

RACHEL & PHOEBE: Drop the towel.

00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,564

MONICA:

Please drop the towel. Drop it.

00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,399

ALL:

Wow.

00:19:56,904 --> 00:20:01,991

Man, can you believe he's only had sex

with one woman?

00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,410

I think it's great.

00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:09,040

You know, it's sweet. It's romantic.

00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,083

Really?

00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:14,420

No, are you kidding?

The guy's a freak. I judge him.

00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:15,880

- Hey, man.

- Hey, buddy.

00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,882

ROSS:

Ah? Ah?

00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:21,719

Oh.

00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,554

That's attractive.

00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:27,683

Oh, I thought you were great

in Silence of the Lambs.

00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:29,852

[JOEY LAUGHING]

00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:34,398

Oh, come on, admit it,

all things considered, you had fun tonight.

00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:35,733

Fun? Where was the fun?

00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:38,486

Tell me specifically,

which part was the fun part?

00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:39,904

Where's my puck?

00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,865

- Oh. The kid has it.

- The kid?

00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:46,786

Ahem. Excuse me, uh, that's my puck.

00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:50,539

I found it.

Finders keepers, losers weepers.

00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:56,087

You gotta do it, man.

00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,966

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue.

Whatever you...

00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:02,218

I can't do it.

00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:05,513

- Listen, uh, give me back my puck.

- No.

00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:06,722

- Yes, how about?

- No.

00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:08,849

- No, come here. Just give me my puck.

- No, no, no.

00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:10,977

SIZEMORE:

Hey, no roughhousing in my ER.

00:21:11,144 --> 00:21:12,770

Give me my puck! Unh.

00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:15,064

[GRUNTS]

00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:20,736

Now, that was fun.

00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,035

ROSS:

Okay, Monica.

00:21:28,203 --> 00:21:30,746

Right foot, red.

00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:34,375

Could've played Monopoly, but no.

00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:35,584

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:42,216

Thanks.

00:21:48,056 --> 00:21:51,142

Okay, Pheebs. Right hand, blue.

00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:56,188

- Good.

JOEY: Hmm?

00:21:58,608 --> 00:21:59,984

[PHONE RINGS]

00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,486

Hello?

00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:06,907

- Oh. Rachel, it's the Visa-card people.

RACHEL: Oh, okay. Will you take my place?

00:22:07,075 --> 00:22:08,993

All right. Yes, this is Rachel.

00:22:09,202 --> 00:22:10,661

RACHEL: No.

- Oh.

00:22:12,914 --> 00:22:13,956

Hello?

00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:18,044

Oh, yeah. No, I know.

I haven't been using it much.

00:22:18,211 --> 00:22:21,756

Oh, well, thanks, but I'm okay, really.

00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:23,299

To the green, to the green.

00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:24,675

MONICA: Oh, no.

- To the green.

00:22:24,843 --> 00:22:27,178

I've got magic beans.

00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:30,973

No, no, never mind.

00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:32,558

CHANDLER:

To the left. To the left.

00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:34,101

[ALL YELL]

00:22:35,228 --> 00:22:37,396

I'm fine.

00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:41,525

[English - US - SDH]

00:00:05,210 --> 00:00:09,630

Если бы я была всемогущей один день,

я бы пожелала мира во всем мире...

00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:13,800

...и чтобы не было голода,

и чтобы берегли тропические леса

00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:16,850

И сиськи чуть побольше

00:00:16,890 --> 00:00:20,520

Ты украла мое желание

00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:21,560

Чендлер, что скажешь ты?

00:00:21,810 --> 00:00:26,440

Если бы я был всемогущим один день,

я бы сделал себя всемогущим навсегда

00:00:26,690 --> 00:00:28,240

Вечно найдется один такой:

00:00:28,490 --> 00:00:33,160

"Если бы у меня было одно желание,

я бы пожелал еще три."

00:00:33,870 --> 00:00:35,240

Привет, Джои

00:00:35,490 --> 00:00:38,080

Что бы ты сделал, если бы мог всё?

00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:41,710

Наверное, повесился бы

00:00:41,790 --> 00:00:42,960

Извини, что?

00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:48,300

Если мой "мог" - ВСЁ,

то и мне жить незачем

00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:52,720

Джои! Речь не про твой "мог"

00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:54,760

Твой?!

00:00:55,010 --> 00:00:56,810

Росс, мои соболезнования.

00:00:57,060 --> 00:01:00,180

1-й сезон, 4-я серия:

"Джордж Стефанопулос"

00:01:49,270 --> 00:01:51,230

Как ей это удается?

00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,530

Лично я не могу спать

в общественных местах

00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:56,070

Только посмотри на нее!

00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:59,820

Такая умиротворенная

00:02:00,990 --> 00:02:03,370

Что, что? Привет

00:02:03,620 --> 00:02:06,540

Все в порядке. Ты опять задремала

00:02:06,790 --> 00:02:07,870

Что с тобой?

00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:09,460

Я прошлой ночью не спала

00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:13,420

У моей бабушки новый кавалер

00:02:13,670 --> 00:02:16,880

Они оба немножко волнуются

в постели

00:02:17,130 --> 00:02:20,220

И оба глухие!

00:02:20,510 --> 00:02:24,390

Они постоянно убеждают друг друга,

как им хорошо

00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:28,270

Вы не представляете, как у них

это громко получается

00:02:28,770 --> 00:02:30,480

Можешь заночевать у нас с Рэйчел

00:02:30,730 --> 00:02:31,900

Спасибо

00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:34,190

- 95, 96, 97.

00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:38,400

Видишь, я же сказал. От нас досюда

меньше ста шагов

00:02:38,650 --> 00:02:41,910

У тебя, чувак, слишком много

свободного времени

00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,700

А вот и наш именинник

00:02:44,950 --> 00:02:45,790

Росс, зацени

00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:49,460

Билеты на хоккей. Играют "Рэйнджеры"

с "Пингвинами", и мы берем тебя

00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:50,670

С днем рождения, дружбан!

00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,920

Мы любим тебя, дорогой

00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:57,300

Забавно. Мой день рождения

был семь месяцев назад

00:02:57,550 --> 00:02:59,880

- Ну и?

- Наверное, у вас был лишний билет...

00:03:00,130 --> 00:03:03,680

...и вы не могли решить,

кто возьмет с собой девушку?

00:03:03,930 --> 00:03:07,520

Ой-ой-ой, так мы из тех,

у кого стакан - полупустой

00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,430

Боже мой!

00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,600

Сегодня двадцатое? Двадцатое октября?

00:03:11,850 --> 00:03:14,310

Я уж надеялась - ты не вспомнишь

00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:15,940

Чем плохо двадцатое октября?

00:03:16,190 --> 00:03:20,530

Одиннадцать дней до Хэллоуина?

Все хорошие костюмы уже разобрали?

00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:24,320

Сегодня годовщина дня, когда мы с Кэрол...

00:03:24,570 --> 00:03:26,740

...перевели наши отношения...

00:03:26,990 --> 00:03:30,250

...в физическую плоскость

00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:33,540

Имели секс

00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:36,420

Я, наверное, пропущу матч

00:03:36,670 --> 00:03:42,470

Я лучше пойду домой -

думать о своей бывшей жене

и ее лесбийской подруге

00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:46,890

К черту хоккей!

Давайте подумаем все вместе!

00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,640

Ну же, Росс! Ты, я, Джои, лед!

00:03:49,890 --> 00:03:53,690

Отдохнем по-мужски, а?

Ну, здоровяк, что скажешь, а?

00:03:53,940 --> 00:03:56,560

- Что ты делаешь?

- Не имею понятия.

00:03:56,810 --> 00:03:57,900

Давай, Росс

00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,900

Ну ладно. Может, я смогу отвлечься

00:04:01,150 --> 00:04:04,610

- Обещаете купить мне большой

поролоновый палец?

- Сто пудов.

00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:05,660

Смотрите, смотрите!

00:04:05,910 --> 00:04:07,410

Мой первый чек на зарплату!

00:04:07,660 --> 00:04:08,910

Посмотрите в окошко!

00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:13,370

Там мое имя! Привет, я!

00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:15,710

Я помню, как я получила

свою первую зарплату

00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:20,760

Тогда в шахте произошло обрушение,

и погибло восемь человек

00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:22,840

Ты работала на шахте?

00:04:23,090 --> 00:04:27,140

Нет, я работала в кондитерской.

А что?

00:04:29,010 --> 00:04:31,640

Правда, здорово?

Мой честный заработок

00:04:31,890 --> 00:04:34,600

Я вытирала ради этого столы,

я кипятила молоко

00:04:34,850 --> 00:04:36,770

И вот, наконец, все это...

00:04:37,020 --> 00:04:39,190

...оказалось напрасным

00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:43,740

Кто такой этот "Подоходный"?

Почему ему отдали мои деньги?

00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,990

В смысле, что за...?

Чендлер, взгляни, пожалуйста

00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,030

Ну, не так уж и плохо

00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,120

Нормально, как для первой работы

00:04:53,370 --> 00:04:57,580

На это вполне, вполне можно прожить

00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:01,590

Кстати, прекрасное сегодня обслуживание

00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:04,630

- Потрясающее!

- Просто отличное!

00:05:06,470 --> 00:05:09,510

На хоккей!

00:05:19,690 --> 00:05:22,610

На хоккей!

00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:26,070

Рэйчел?

00:05:26,650 --> 00:05:29,370

О боже!

00:05:33,870 --> 00:05:38,000

Клянусь, точно таких же птичек

показывали "В мире животных"

00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:40,000

Что вы здесь делаете, девчонки?

00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:43,630

Мы поехали в город по магазинам,

а твоя мама сказала, что ты

работаешь здесь...

00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:47,430

...и вот это правда!

00:05:48,010 --> 00:05:52,810

Гляди-ка, в передничке!

Прямо как в какой-нибудь пьесе

00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:57,770

Господи, а ты-то! Как тебя разнесло!

Аж не верится!

00:05:58,020 --> 00:06:02,020

Ага, я знаю! Я теперь "два в одном"

00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,730

А у тебя как жизнь?

00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:08,820

Угадай, кого мой папа делает

младшим партнером фирмы?

00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:14,540

И раз уж мы заговорили о новостях...

00:06:16,450 --> 00:06:20,380

Смотри! У меня есть локти!

00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:26,460

А он отдает пас Литчу...

00:06:26,710 --> 00:06:31,220

Литч перехватывает Месьера на линии.

Передача!

00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:35,560

У нас перерыв, пока Месьер

любуется на туфли какой-то женщины

00:06:35,810 --> 00:06:38,730

На Кэрол в тот вечер были такие же сапожки...

00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:40,770

...ну, когда мы впервые...

00:06:41,020 --> 00:06:42,400

Знаете что?

00:06:42,650 --> 00:06:44,110

Вообще-то она...

00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,400

...она их тогда так и не сняла

00:06:46,650 --> 00:06:50,610

Это потому что мы...

Извините

00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:55,790

Что?

00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,160

Персик!

00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:00,060

Да, зайка?

00:07:00,060 --> 00:07:01,150

Персиковая косточка

00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:04,190

- В тот вечер мы ели...

- Персики?

00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:08,110

Вообще-то нектарины, но в общем...

00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:11,030

Ну да, могли бы быть и персики

00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,120

А потом мы оделись...

00:07:13,370 --> 00:07:15,330

...и я провел ее...

00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:18,290

...до автобусной остановки

00:07:18,540 --> 00:07:20,130

Со мной все нормально

00:07:20,380 --> 00:07:24,090

Эй, у той женщины задница

совсем как у Кэрол

00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:31,140

Что такое? Я думал, мы играем

в "найдите сходство"

00:07:31,390 --> 00:07:34,600

Ну давайте, девчонки.

Расскажите про какой-нибудь скандал

00:07:34,850 --> 00:07:39,600

Ну, самый большой до сих пор -

это как ты бросила Барри у алтаря

00:07:40,270 --> 00:07:43,900

Ладно, давай на секунду

спустимся на землю

00:07:44,150 --> 00:07:46,360

- Когда ты вернешься домой?

- Что?

00:07:46,610 --> 00:07:48,280

Девчонки, я не вернусь

00:07:48,530 --> 00:07:50,780

Да ладно. Нам-то можно

00:07:51,030 --> 00:07:52,450

Я не вернусь

00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:56,160

Теперь моя жизнь здесь.

Я здесь работаю

00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,210

Официанткой?

00:07:58,460 --> 00:08:01,130

Я не только официантка

00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:04,380

Я еще и...

00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:09,430

Я... пишу фирменные блюда

на доске фирменных блюд

00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:14,510

И... выбрасываю увядшие цветы из вазы

00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:18,940

Иногда Артуро позволяет мне наносить

шоколадные капельки на печенье

00:08:19,190 --> 00:08:23,560

Ну, капельки твоя мама

как-то упустила из виду

00:08:33,410 --> 00:08:36,740

Эй, Рэйч, как пообщалась с подружками?

00:08:39,580 --> 00:08:42,920

Ладно тебе!

Хочешь тихоокеанского пунша?

00:08:43,170 --> 00:08:44,380

А что в нем?

00:08:44,630 --> 00:08:48,380

- Ну, там ром...

- Давай.

00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:53,050

Мы подумали, раз уж Фиби ночует у нас,

устроим пижамные посиделки

00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,550

У нас тут пошлые журналы

00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:58,060

У нас тут пончики и игра "Твистер"

00:08:58,310 --> 00:08:59,730

А я принесла "Операцию"

00:08:59,980 --> 00:09:04,400

Но потеряла пинцет, и теперь

мы не сможем оперировать

00:09:04,650 --> 00:09:08,190

Но анатомировать мы сможем!

00:09:08,990 --> 00:09:11,150

Рэйч, это по поводу кредитных карточек

00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,530

О боже. Спроси, чего им надо

00:09:13,780 --> 00:09:17,830

Нельзя ли подробнее осветить

тематику вашего запроса?

00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:18,950

Хорошо, не кладите трубку

00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,750

На твоем счету происходит

что-то необычное

00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,290

Но я не пользовалась карточками

уже добрый месяц

00:09:24,540 --> 00:09:27,800

Это и есть что-то необычное

00:09:28,340 --> 00:09:30,470

Они проверяют, все ли с тобой в порядке

00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,550

Они хотят знать, все ли в порядке?

00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:35,430

Они хотят знать, все ли в порядке.

Так, посмотрим

00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,770

Посмотрим. Мистер Подоходный

сожрал мою зарплату - порядок

00:09:39,020 --> 00:09:41,850

У всех, кого я знаю,

помолвка, беременность...

00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:44,400

...или повышение на работе.

А у меня - кофе

00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:46,730

Который даже не для меня!

00:09:46,980 --> 00:09:52,110

Если все это - порядок, то я в порядке,

так им и расскажи. По порядку!

00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:57,660

Рэйчел сейчас нет дома

00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:58,740

Можете перезвонить позже?

00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:01,750

Ну всё! Все сюда!

00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:05,750

Давайте играть в "Твистер"!

00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:11,590

В "Мэдисон Сквер Гарден" -

"Нью-Йорк Рейнджерс",

обладатели Кубка Стенли

00:10:13,010 --> 00:10:16,590

- Извините.

- Простите.

00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,430

Что?! В ту ночь с Кэрол у вас был лед?

00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:25,440

Пластмассовые сиденья? Четыре тысячи

злобных питтсбургских фанатов?

00:10:25,690 --> 00:10:29,070

Нет. Я хотел сказать, что мы,

похоже, не сидим вместе

00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:33,530

Но раз уж ты сам сказал -

лед в ту ночь все-таки был

00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:36,990

Были первые заморозки

00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,200

Давай уже садись. Садись

00:10:39,450 --> 00:10:43,040

Ты должна гордиться собой. Ты добилась

замечательной вещи - независимости

00:10:43,290 --> 00:10:45,290

Моника, что в ней замечательного?

00:10:45,540 --> 00:10:49,920

Я отказалась, грубо говоря, от всего.

И ради чего?

00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:52,130

Ты совсем как Джек

00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:54,050

Джек с первого этажа?

00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:57,510

Нет, "Джек и бобовое дерево"

00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,220

- А, тот другой Джек.

- Ну да!

00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:01,850

Понимаешь, он тоже от чего-то

отказался...

00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:04,060

...но получил взамен волшебные бобы

00:11:04,310 --> 00:11:05,850

Потом он проснулся, а там у него...

00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:08,400

...это здоровенное растение...

00:11:08,650 --> 00:11:12,030

...прямо за окном, а на нем

куча новых возможностей и все такое

00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:16,150

Он жил в деревне, а ты живешь...

в большой деревне

00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,910

Ладно, Фибс, но Джек-то бросил корову

00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,240

А я бросила стоматолога

00:11:22,490 --> 00:11:24,870

Ну, допустим, я его не любила...

00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:28,080

Вот видишь,

а Джек любил свою корову

00:11:28,330 --> 00:11:31,170

Но понимаешь, раньше в жизни

был план. Все было ясно.

00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:34,550

Все было расписано наперед.

А сейчас все пошло как-то...

00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,720

- Хлюпко?

- Ага.

00:11:38,220 --> 00:11:41,100

Тут ты не одинока. Мы тоже часто

не представляем, что будет дальше

00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:43,930

Но в какой-то момент все сложится

само собой

00:11:44,180 --> 00:11:46,930

И пойдет... нехлюпко

00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:50,310

Тоже мне, слово придумала

00:11:52,110 --> 00:11:56,990

Да, но... Моника, что если

ничего само не сложится?

00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:04,580

Ну, если вдруг...

Мне не нравится этот вопрос

00:12:04,830 --> 00:12:08,290

Вот видите, девчонки. Что если

мы не найдем волшебные бобы?

00:12:08,540 --> 00:12:11,170

Что если мы просто останемся...

00:12:11,420 --> 00:12:14,630

...на бобах?

00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:18,010

Перехватывай!

00:12:18,260 --> 00:12:20,180

На перехват! На перехват!

00:12:20,430 --> 00:12:23,510

Ура! Ну что, теперь доволен,

приятель?

00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:27,180

Вот видишь, как тебе полегчало

от драки беззубых мужиков клюшками

00:12:27,430 --> 00:12:29,770

Пасуй! Давай пас!

00:12:30,020 --> 00:12:31,060

Он открыт!

00:12:31,310 --> 00:12:34,400

Бросай!

00:12:39,650 --> 00:12:42,780

Эй, а нас по телевизору показывают

00:12:57,170 --> 00:12:58,800

Прошу прощения?

00:12:59,050 --> 00:13:04,890

Тут написано: "Звоните, если вы

не полностью удовлетворены

качеством нашего батончика."

00:13:07,430 --> 00:13:10,850

Ну так я не полностью удовлетворена

00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:12,650

Послушайте, мы как бы по скорой

00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:16,860

Но вы, наверное, в курсе,

раз прямо так и называетесь.

00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:19,530

Не вешайте трубку

00:13:19,780 --> 00:13:21,610

Заполните это. Сядьте там!

00:13:21,860 --> 00:13:23,780

Слушайте, я не хочу поднимать скандал

00:13:24,030 --> 00:13:28,450

Но мне очень больно, у меня травма,

поняли? У меня вмятина на лице

00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:30,410

Придется вам подождать очереди

00:13:30,660 --> 00:13:33,120

И долго нам надо ждать?

00:13:33,370 --> 00:13:37,000

Да буквально пару секунд

00:13:51,810 --> 00:13:56,230

Простите меня, девчонки.

Я не хотела вас расстраивать

00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,780

Нет, ты была права

00:13:59,030 --> 00:14:02,650

У меня нет плана в жизни

00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:05,070

Доставка пиццы!

00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,990

- Слава Богу.

- Еда!

00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,370

- Фиби?

- Что?

00:14:09,620 --> 00:14:11,330

А у тебя есть план?

00:14:11,580 --> 00:14:14,960

Не употребляю

00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:20,210

- Одна с грибами, зеленым перцем и луком?

- Нет!

00:14:21,210 --> 00:14:22,840

Нет, мы не это заказывали!

00:14:23,090 --> 00:14:28,300

Мы заказывали обезжиренную корочку

с двойным сыром!

00:14:29,890 --> 00:14:32,350

Подождите. Так вы не Дж.Стефанопулос?

00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:34,350

Вот блин! Папаша меня убьет!

00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:35,560

Подождите!

00:14:35,810 --> 00:14:37,230

Вы сказали...

00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:39,110

...Дж. Стефанопулос?

00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:42,030

Да. Эту нужно отнести напротив.

А я отдал ему вашу

00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,820

Болван! Болван!

00:14:45,070 --> 00:14:50,580

А это был красавчик-коротышка

греческого типа с очень умным лицом?

00:14:50,830 --> 00:14:52,250

Да, типа того

00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,960

И на нем был сногсшибательный

голубой костюм?

00:14:55,210 --> 00:14:57,130

И клубный галстук?

00:14:57,380 --> 00:14:59,210

Да нет, одно только полотенце

00:14:59,460 --> 00:15:02,000

Боже ж мой!

00:15:02,260 --> 00:15:03,420

Так что, забрать пиццу назад?

00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:09,050

Вы спятили? У нас здесь пицца

Джорджа Стефанопулоса!

00:15:13,930 --> 00:15:16,940

Фибс... Кто такой этот

Джордж Соплепопулос?

00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:21,020

Друг Большого Белого Отца

00:15:22,780 --> 00:15:23,740

Я вижу пиццу!

00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:26,030

Я хочу посмотреть. Дайте мне посмотреть

00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,240

Аллё! За кем мы шпионим?

00:15:28,490 --> 00:15:31,620

Знаешь президентского советника,

возглавлявшего кампанию Клинтона?

00:15:31,870 --> 00:15:35,200

Классные волосы, обаятельная

улыбка и такая славная попка?

00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:40,080

А, этот коротышка! Я его обожаю!

00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:42,710

Стоп. Погодите-ка, я вижу женщину

00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,960

Скажи мне, что это его мать

00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:47,840

- Нет, уж точно не мать.

- О нет!

00:15:48,090 --> 00:15:50,090

Она идет по квартире

00:15:50,340 --> 00:15:53,010

Она идет, идет

00:15:53,260 --> 00:15:58,390

Она открывает пиццу.

Эй, она не для тебя, сучка!

00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:12,490

Прошу прощения?

00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:16,580

Мы здесь уже больше часа. Вперед

прошли и менее больные люди

00:16:16,830 --> 00:16:21,580

Тот мужик с пальцем на ноге?

Интересно, с кем он тут спит?

00:16:23,340 --> 00:16:25,960

Да ладно тебе, Дора. Не сердись

00:16:26,210 --> 00:16:30,010

Мы оба сказали много такого...

00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:31,510

...чего не стоило...

00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:35,180

...но это не значит, что мы

больше не любим друг друга

00:16:35,430 --> 00:16:39,600

Знаете, по-моему, я ее потерял

00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:44,400

Света все еще нет?

00:16:44,650 --> 00:16:46,860

Может, они там спят

00:16:47,110 --> 00:16:49,030

Прошу тебя. У них там секс

00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:52,240

Да ну тебя!

00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:59,250

Так какой он, по-вашему - Джордж?

00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:02,170

Я думаю, он застенчивый

00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:04,590

По-моему, его надо расшевелить

00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,380

А вот когда расшевелишь...

00:17:06,630 --> 00:17:10,340

...в нем просыпается

зверюга-студент

00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:15,720

Помню, как лунный свет падал...

00:17:15,970 --> 00:17:18,930

...через раскрытое окно,

создавая на ее лице...

00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:20,520

...непередаваемую игру света

00:17:20,770 --> 00:17:24,060

Ну да, луна, игра света,

волшебные чувства

00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:28,820

Эту тему ты раскрыл полностью.

Умоляю, дайте мне наркоз!

00:17:29,070 --> 00:17:32,700

Он прав, хватит уже.

Что такого особенного в этом дне?

00:17:32,950 --> 00:17:34,780

Ну переспал ты с ней в первый раз

00:17:35,030 --> 00:17:39,500

Ну и что? Ты потом спал с ней

еще семь лет

00:17:39,750 --> 00:17:42,000

Знаете, здесь все немного сложнее

00:17:42,250 --> 00:17:47,090

Что, что?! Ну она тебя бросила!

Ну любит она женщин! Ну ушла

к другой любительнице женщин!

00:17:47,340 --> 00:17:53,220

Давай погромче. На 12-м этаже

мужик в коме не все расслышал

00:17:55,350 --> 00:17:57,310

Ну так что?

00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,270

Мой первый раз с Кэрол...

00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,310

...это был мой...

00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:06,690

Что?

00:18:07,650 --> 00:18:10,360

Это был мой первый...

00:18:10,610 --> 00:18:12,820

...раз.

00:18:13,070 --> 00:18:15,490

С Кэрол?

00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:26,670

То есть за всю свою жизнь

ты был только с одной...?

00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:31,090

Вот блин. Зря мы пошли на хоккей

00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:35,180

Сегодня можно было столько успеть

00:18:36,390 --> 00:18:38,720

Так, теперь я

00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:41,850

Помнишь мой вегетарианский паштет...

00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:46,270

...который ты так нахваливала?

00:18:46,270 --> 00:18:50,860

Ну, если считать гуся овощем!

00:18:53,070 --> 00:18:57,450

Ну и ладно. Теперь мне не так стыдно,

что я спала с Джейсоном Херли

00:18:57,700 --> 00:18:59,620

Что? Ты спала с Джейсоном?

00:18:59,870 --> 00:19:01,370

Вы на тот момент уже расстались

00:19:01,620 --> 00:19:02,870

И давно?

00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:04,120

Уже пару часов как

00:19:04,370 --> 00:19:06,210

Какая прелесть!

00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:10,040

Так, так, и у меня история!

00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:11,880

Так вот...

00:19:12,130 --> 00:19:16,260

Валентинка от Тома в твоем шкафчике

на самом деле была от меня!

00:19:16,510 --> 00:19:18,340

Чего-чего?

00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:23,430

Аллё! Ты и правда размечталась,

что это он ее послал?

00:19:24,350 --> 00:19:28,020

Она была больша-а-я девочка!

00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,940

Да что ты говоришь? Ну что ж...

00:19:31,190 --> 00:19:34,570

...большие девочки хотя бы не писаются

в трусы в седьмом классе!

00:19:34,820 --> 00:19:37,530

Я смеялась. Ты меня рассмешила!

00:19:37,780 --> 00:19:40,320

О господи! Вон он! Вон он там!

00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:43,950

- Где?

- Там, куда мы смотрели всю ночь.

00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,250

- Ой, какой симпатичный.

- Джордж, лапочка, скинь полотенце.

00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:50,920

Ну давай, скинь полотенце,

скинь полотенце!

00:19:56,970 --> 00:20:02,680

Бли-ин! Как это он ухитрился за всю жизнь

переспать с одной женщиной?

00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:04,430

А я думаю, это здорово

00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,730

Даже трогательно

00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:09,770

И так романтично

00:20:10,020 --> 00:20:10,860

Что, правда?

00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:14,440

Нет, ты чего? Он ненормальный.

Я его осуждаю

00:20:14,690 --> 00:20:17,820

А вот и он! Привет!

00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:25,160

Какой симпатичный

00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:30,120

По-моему, ты классно сыграл

в "Молчании ягнят"

00:20:31,170 --> 00:20:34,420

Признай, что несмотря ни на что,

ты сегодня хорошо провел время

00:20:34,670 --> 00:20:38,470

Хорошо? А конкретнее? Чем хорошо?

Что именно этим вечером было хорошо?

00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,640

Где моя шайба?

00:20:40,890 --> 00:20:43,970

- Она у пацана.

- Какого пацана?

00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:46,770

Извини, это моя шайба

00:20:47,020 --> 00:20:52,150

Я ее нашел. Что с возу упало,

то на фиг пропало!

00:20:54,110 --> 00:20:56,900

Не сдавайся, чувак

00:20:57,150 --> 00:21:00,070

Языком молоть горазд,

малолетний пе...

00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,200

Нет, не надо

00:21:02,450 --> 00:21:05,540

- А ну-ка отдай мою шайбу.

- Нет.

00:21:05,790 --> 00:21:06,740

А ну-ка...

00:21:06,990 --> 00:21:09,290

Слушай сюда, сопляк. Давай шайбу

00:21:09,540 --> 00:21:11,170

ЭЙ, не ссориться в моем приемном покое!

00:21:11,420 --> 00:21:14,380

Отдай мне мою шайбу!

00:21:18,260 --> 00:21:21,840

Вот ЭТО было хорошо

00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:30,960

Так, Моника. Правая нога на красное

00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:31,810

Могли бы сыграть в "Монополию",

так нет же!

Так, Моника. Правая нога на красное

00:21:31,810 --> 00:21:35,550

Могли бы сыграть в "Монополию",

так нет же!

00:21:40,510 --> 00:21:43,270

Спасибо

00:21:48,690 --> 00:21:52,480

Так, Фибс. Правая рука на синее

00:21:53,690 --> 00:21:56,610

Хорошо

00:22:02,870 --> 00:22:04,790

Рэйчел, это по поводу

кредитных карточек

00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:06,660

Заменишь меня?

00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:10,330

Не возражаю. Да, Рэйчел слушает.

00:22:14,130 --> 00:22:17,800

Нет, я знаю. Я мало ею пользовалась

00:22:18,050 --> 00:22:21,640

Ну что ж, спасибо. Но у меня

все хорошо, правда

00:22:21,890 --> 00:22:24,390

На зеленое

00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:28,310

У меня теперь есть волшебные бобы

00:22:29,310 --> 00:22:30,770

Нет, ничего

00:22:31,020 --> 00:22:34,150

Влево! Влево!

00:22:35,070 --> 00:22:38,320

Я в полном порядке

00:22:38,990 --> 00:22:40,490

Перевод В.Бродового