Эпизод с восточногерманским стиральным порошком
Описание
Ребята сидят в кофейне и обсуждают кем быть лучше: мужчиной или женщиной. Парни восхищаются тем, как девушки снимают бюстгальтер через рукав и всегда «имеют грудь в поле зрения». Девушки парируют, что мужчинам вообще не нужно носить бюстгальтер и они могут писать стоя. После непродолжительной перепалки Росс выкрикивает неоспоримое преимущество женщин — «многократный оргазм». Чендлер собирается вновь бросить Дженис, но не знает как это сделать. Фиби решает поддержать его: она бросит своего парня Тони, а Чендлер — Дженис. Рэйчел расстроена: отец хочет подарить ей кабриолет Мерседес, если она переедет обратно домой, но ей не хочется возвращаться под опеку отца. В это время в кафе заходит бывшая девушка Джоуи — Анджела. Джоуи хочет возобновить отношения, но Анджела встречается с другим парнем — Бобом. Джоуи решает организовать двойное свидание (Анджела—Боб и Джоуи—Моника), чтобы вернуть Анджелу. Однако Монике он сказал, что Боб это всего лишь брат Анджелы. Росс напрашивается на стирку с Рэйчел и Моникой в их прачечной. Из-за свидания, Моника не идёт в прачечную, поэтому Росс и Рэйчел остаются вдвоем. Чендлер объясняет Россу, что это похоже на свидание и нужно подготовиться. Тем временем Моника и Джоуи ожидают в ресторане, Моника понимает, что Джоуи даже не видел Боба и тот может быть не привлекательным. Однако, когда вечер начинается, она успокаивается, так как Боб — красавчик. После того как Моника узнает, что Боб не брат Анджелы, она злится на Джоуи, но тот уговаривает её объединиться и расколоть пару, тогда Боб достанется ей, а Анджела — Джоуи. В конце вечера им это удается. Чендлер и Фиби готовятся к разрыву отношений в кофейне. Приходят Тони и Дженис. У Фиби разрыв получился быстрым и безболезненным, а Чендлер всё никак не может собраться и начать разговор с Дженис: он уже выпил дюжину чашек эсперессо и случайно ударил Дженис в глаз. Фиби предлагает самой бросить Дженис и делает это с такой же легкостью, как и с Тони. На что Чендлер предлагает ей всегда вместе бросать своих девушек. В прачечной у Рэйчел не ладятся дела: сначала хамоватая женщина забирает у неё занятую машину, потом Росс обнаруживает, что у Рэйчел нет порошка и предлагает ей свой немецкий стиральный порошок «Юбервайсс», затем в её бельё попадает красный носок и вся одежда окрасилась в розовый цвет. Но после очередной стычки с хамкой по поводу тележки, она чувствует себя сильной и самостоятельной и в порыве чувств целует Росса, от чего тот ударяется об дверцу машинки. Позже, все друзья сидят в кафе: Рэйчел держит лед у головы Росса после удара, Фиби восхищается как равномерно покрасилась одежда у Рэйчел, Джоуи и Моника хвастаются победой на свидании. Рэйчел спрашивает, где Чендлер, на что Фиби сообщает, что ему нужно прийти в себя после разрыва. В это время мимо кофейни пробегает радостный Чендлер с криками «Я свободен! Свободен!».
Субтитры
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00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,880
ROSS: Not a big deal?
It's amazing.
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:10,009
You just reach in, there's one
little maneuver, and bam!
00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:12,428
A bra. Right out the sleeve.
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,179
As far as I'm concerned...
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:17,683
...there is nothing a guy can do
that comes close. Right?
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:20,894
Come on!
You guys can pee standing up.
00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,355
We can? Okay, I'm trying that.
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:26,692
You know what blows my mind?
00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:30,154
Women can see breasts
anytime they want.
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,533
You just look down,
and there they are.
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:37,286
How you get any work done
is beyond me.
00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:42,291
What I don't get is the way
guys can do so many mean things...
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:43,917
...and then not even care.
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,926
Multiple orgasms!
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:50,526
So Saturday night, the big night.
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:53,904
Date night!
Saturday night. Saturday night!
00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:58,283
- No plans, huh?
- Not a one.
00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:01,328
Not even, say,
breaking up with Janice?
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:03,831
Oh, right, right. Shut up.
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:08,460
Chandler, nobody likes
breaking up with someone.
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:12,297
- You just gotta do it.
- I know. But it's just so hard.
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:15,509
You're sitting with her.
She has no idea what's happening.
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,220
You finally get up
the courage to do it.
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:21,765
There's that awkward moment
when you've handed her the note.
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:27,729
Why do you have to break up with her?
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:30,566
Be a man. Just stop calling.
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,112
If you want, I'll do it with you.
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:38,991
Thanks, but she'd feel like
we were ganging up on her.
00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:41,869
I mean you break up with Janice.
I'll break up with Tony.
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,537
You're breaking up with Tony?
00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:46,456
I know. He's sweet, but it's just
not fun anymore.
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:50,002
I don't know if it's me or
his hunger strike. I don't know.
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:53,881
Does anybody want anything else?
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:58,635
Yeah. Last week you had a wonderful nutty,
chocolate-y, kind of cake-y pie thing that...
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,805
Nothing. I'm fine.
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,393
What's the matter?
Why so scrunchie?
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:10,063
It's my father. He wants to give me
a Mercedes convertible.
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:14,193
That guy, he burns me up.
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,779
Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes
if I move back home.
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,949
It was horrible!
He called me "young lady."
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,577
Ooh, I hate when my father
calls me that.
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:27,956
Did he give you that whole
"You're not up to this" thing again?
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:31,168
Yeah, I got the extended disco
version with three choruses of:
00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:33,253
"You'll never make it on your own."
00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:34,796
[SINGS]
Uh-huh, uh-huh
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:39,843
Hi, Joey.
00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:42,262
Oh, my God. Angela.
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:45,682
Wow. Being dumped by you
obviously agrees with her.
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,809
- Are you gonna go over there?
- No.
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,103
Yeah. No.
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:54,233
Okay, but not yet.
I don't wanna seem too eager.
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,863
One Mississippi, two Mississippi...
00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:02,324
...three Mississippi.
That seems pretty cool.
00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:07,955
Hey, Angela.
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:09,248
Joey.
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:10,707
You look good.
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:14,253
Because I'm wearing a dress
that accents my boobs.
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:22,970
You don't say.
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:27,432
So, Rachel, what are you
doing tonight?
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:30,727
Big glamour night.
Me and Monica at Launderama.
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,062
Oh.
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:36,149
You wanna hear a freakish coincidence?
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,193
Guess who's doing laundry there too?
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,362
- Who?
- Me.
00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:42,990
Was that not clear?
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,661
Hey, why don't...?
00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:50,998
Why don't I just
join you both there?
00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,667
Don't you have a laundry room
in your building?
00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:56,378
Yes.
00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:00,549
I do have a laundry room
in my building.
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:05,262
Um... But there's a rat problem.
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:08,724
Apparently, they're attracted to
the dryer sheets.
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:11,810
They're going in fine,
but they're coming out all...
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:13,603
...fluffy.
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:17,691
Anyway, 7-ish?
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,067
Sure.
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,323
Forget it, Joey.
I'm with Bob now.
00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:26,867
Bob? Who the hell's Bob?
00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,493
Bob is great.
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:31,872
He's smart, he's sophisticated,
and he has a real job.
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:36,043
You go on three auditions a month
and you call yourself an actor. But Bob...
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:39,296
Come on. We were great together.
00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:43,925
And not just at the fun stuff,
but, like, talking too.
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:50,098
Sorry, Joey. You said,
"Let's just be friends."
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,808
So guess what?
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,144
- What?
- We're just friends.
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:56,063
Fine. Fine.
00:05:56,314 --> 00:06:00,067
So why don't the four of us go out and
have dinner tonight? You know, as friends.
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,651
What "four of us"?
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:05,364
You and Bob,
and me and my girlfriend, um...
00:06:07,116 --> 00:06:08,158
...Monica.
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:11,286
JOEY: Monica, I'm telling you, this guy
is perfect for you.
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:15,290
Forget it! Not after your cousin
who could belch the alphabet.
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:20,045
Come on, this guy's great.
His name's Bob. He's Angela's...
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:21,421
...ahem, brother.
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,673
He's smart, he's sophisticated...
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,675
...and he has a real job.
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:29,846
Me, I go on three auditions a month
and call myself an actor, but Bob is...
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,681
- Oh, God, help us.
- What?
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:34,267
Ugly Naked Guy is laying kitchen tile.
00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:37,646
BOTH:
Ew!
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:40,649
Look, I'm asking a favor here.
00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:43,360
I'm thinking if I do this
for her brother...
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:45,445
...maybe Angela will come back to me.
00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:48,990
What's going on here?
You go out with tons of girls.
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,659
I know, but...
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:57,124
Look, I made a huge mistake.
I never should've broke up with her.
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,668
Will you help me? Please?
00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:07,926
Okay. Bye.
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:12,389
Monica's not coming.
It's just gonna be me and Rachel.
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:13,557
[ROSS CHUCKLES]
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:16,852
Hold on there, camper.
You sure you've thought this through?
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:20,272
It's laundry. The thinking
through is pretty minimal.
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,525
It's just you and Rachel?
Just the two of you?
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,027
This is a date.
You're going on a date.
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:28,989
Nuh-uh.
00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:32,576
Yeah-huh.
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:34,870
What are you saying?
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,539
I should shave again?
Pick up some wine? What?
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:41,126
Well, you may wanna rethink
the dirty underwear.
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:46,548
It's the first time she'll see your
underwear. You want it to be dirty?
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,179
No.
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,807
And the fabric softener?
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:58,810
Okay, okay.
Now, what is wrong with my Snuggles?
00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:04,065
What? It says I'm a sensitive,
warm kind of guy.
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,776
You know, like a little fuzzy bear.
00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:11,364
I can pick something else
up on the way.
00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:17,078
MONICA:
Thank you.
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:20,499
So what does this Bob guy
look like? Is he tall, short?
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:22,626
Yep.
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:24,461
Which?
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:26,171
Which what?
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,799
You've never met Bob, have you?
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,092
No, but...
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,720
For all we know,
he could be horribly...
00:08:35,806 --> 00:08:39,100
Horribly attractive.
I'll be shutting up now.
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:46,399
Where are they? Where are they?
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:49,945
This is nice. We never
do anything, just the two of us.
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:54,741
That's great. Maybe tomorrow we can
rent a car, run over some puppies.
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:56,493
Ew. I don't wanna do that.
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,998
- Here we go.
- Have a good breakup.
00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:07,379
- Hey, Janice.
- My God, I am so glad you called me.
00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:10,840
I had the most supremely awful day.
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:13,468
That's not good.
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,889
Can I get an espresso
and a latte over here, please?
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:21,059
We got the proofs from that
photo shoot with the vegetables.
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:22,352
They sucked.
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,564
I blew off the rest of the afternoon.
I went shopping.
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:28,733
And I got you...
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:31,945
JANICE:
I'm looking. I'm looking.
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,489
I'm looking.
00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:36,491
- I got you...
- What?
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:40,412
- What?
- What did you get me there?
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:43,123
I got you...
00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,000
...these.
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,752
Bullwinkle socks.
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:50,380
- That's so sweet.
- I knew you had the Rockys.
00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:52,716
So you could wear
Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle...
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:56,052
...or wear Rocky and Rocky,
or you can mix and match.
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,138
Moose and squirrel.
00:09:58,347 --> 00:10:00,223
Whatever you want.
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,938
I'm gonna get another espresso.
More latte?
00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:09,691
No.
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:13,153
No, I'm still working on mine.
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:15,322
[JANICE LAUGHS OBNOXIOUSLY]
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:18,825
That's it?
00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:20,493
Yeah, it was really hard.
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:22,871
Yeah, the hug looked pretty brutal.
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:24,831
Okay, you weren't there.
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,055
WOMAN:
Coming through! Move! Move!
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:48,647
Excuse me! I was kind of
using that machine.
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,316
Yeah, well, now you're kind of not.
00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:55,403
But I saved it.
I put my basket on top.
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,114
- I'm sorry. Is that your basket?
- Yes.
00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:01,368
It's really pretty.
Unfortunately, I don't see suds!
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:04,954
What?
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:09,292
No suds, no save, okay?
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,630
- What's going on?
- Hi.
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:17,592
Nothing. This horrible woman
just took my machine.
00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:19,344
Was your basket on top?
00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:21,805
- Yeah, but there were no suds.
- So?
00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:23,556
You know, no suds, no save.
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,767
No suds, no... Excuse me.
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:27,602
Hold on a second!
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,979
This is my friend's machine.
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,399
Hey, hey, hey!
Her stuff wasn't in it!
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:36,653
Hey, hey, hey! That's not
the rule, and you know it!
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:48,707
All right. Show's over.
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,878
Nothing to see here.
00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:58,466
Okay. Let's do laundry.
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:02,470
That was amazing!
I can't even send back soup.
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:07,225
Well, that's because you're
such a sweet, gentle...
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,729
Do you, uh?
00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:13,440
Oh, hey. You must need detergent.
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,362
- What's that?
- Überweiss.
00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:23,450
It's new. It's German.
It's extra tough!
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:27,746
Rach, do you...?
Are you gonna separate those?
00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:31,332
Oh, God. Ugh.
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,960
Am I being like a total laundry spaz?
00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:38,047
Am I supposed to use one machine
for shirts and another for pants?
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:44,679
Have you...?
Have you never done this before?
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:48,057
Well, not myself.
But I know other people that have.
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:52,896
Okay. You caught me.
I'm a laundry virgin.
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:57,609
Don't worry.
I'll use the gentle cycle.
00:12:57,818 --> 00:12:58,985
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:00,987
Okay...
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:05,950
Basically, you wanna use
one machine for all your whites.
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,160
Whites. Okay.
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:09,662
- A whole other machine for your colors.
- Colors.
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,707
And then a third for your, uh...
00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:17,337
...delicates.
And that would be your bras...
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:20,840
...and your underpanty things.
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:26,054
Okay, well,
these are white cotton panties.
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:28,765
Would they go with whites
or with delicates?
00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:31,476
That would be a judgment call.
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,146
[ALL LAUGHING]
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,441
He's so cute!
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,070
So where did you guys grow up?
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,364
- Brooklyn Heights.
- Cleveland.
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:45,782
Ha. Heh, heh, heh.
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,826
- How did that happen?
- Oh, my God!
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:49,619
What?
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,372
I suddenly had the feeling I was...
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:54,207
...falling.
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:56,584
But I'm not.
00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:09,055
So you and Angela, huh?
00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:11,516
Yep. Pretty much.
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,393
- You're a lucky man.
- Yeah.
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,563
You know what I miss
the most about her?
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:20,066
That cute nibbley noise
she makes when she eats.
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:23,361
Like a happy little squirrel...
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:25,697
...or a weasel.
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,533
I never really noticed.
00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:31,160
Oh, yeah, yeah. Listen for it.
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:34,038
Monica. Monica is great.
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,541
Yeah. Yeah, she is.
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,960
But it's not gonna last.
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:43,006
She's too much for me in bed.
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,258
Sexually.
00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:51,806
I've gotta tell you, Bob is terrific.
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,349
Yeah, isn't he?
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,477
It's so great to meet a guy
who's smart and funny...
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:59,063
...and has an emotional age beyond 8.
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:02,817
You know what else?
He's unbelievable in bed!
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,237
Wow!
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:10,033
My brother never even told me
when he lost his virginity.
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:12,493
Huh.
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:14,454
That's nice.
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:22,670
You can do this. It's like
pulling off a Band-Aid.
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:26,925
Just do it really fast,
and then the wound is exposed.
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,676
Go! Go!
00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:38,770
Janice...
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:42,732
Hi, Janice.
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:47,820
Okay, here we go.
I don't think we should go out anymore.
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,866
Janice.
00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:56,621
All right.
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:00,333
Well...
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,086
Well, there you go.
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:05,505
Stop it, stop it, stop it.
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:13,304
RACHEL: Okay, I know this is gonna sound
really stupid...
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:15,807
...but I feel that if I can do this...
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:18,935
...if I can actually do
my own laundry...
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:21,020
...there isn't anything I can't do.
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,357
That does not sound stupid to me.
00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:28,653
No, it's like... The first time I had to make
dinner for myself after Carol left me...
00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:29,862
[WASHER BUZZES]
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:32,949
I'm sorry, that's all the time
we have. Next on Ross...
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:34,325
[RACHEL LAUGHS]
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:35,535
Okay.
00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:36,953
- Uh-oh.
- What, "uh-oh"?
00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:38,329
Uh-oh...
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:41,457
Uh-oh, the laundry's done.
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,627
It's a song.
00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:46,713
The laundry song that we sing.
00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:51,092
[SINGS]
Uh-oh, the laundry's done
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:52,969
What's the matter?
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:54,303
Nothing. Nothing.
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:55,888
[SINGS]
The laundry's done
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,223
Come on, show me.
00:16:57,474 --> 00:17:01,561
It's just that you left a red sock
in with your whites, and now...
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:07,400
...everything's kind of pink.
- Oh.
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:09,318
Everything's pink?
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:12,321
Except for the red sock,
which is still red.
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:15,283
Don't be upset.
It can happen to anyone.
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,410
But it didn't.
It happened to me.
00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:21,247
God, I'm gonna look like
a big Marshmallow Peep!
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,291
What am I doing? What am I doing?
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:26,711
My father's right!
I can't live on my own.
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,422
I can't even do laundry!
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,633
[WOMAN LAUGHS]
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,971
[NIBBLING]
00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:42,810
Something went wrong
with Underdog...
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,271
...and they couldn't get
his head to inflate.
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:48,191
So anyway...
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:52,236
...his head is, like,
flopping down Broadway.
00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:54,447
And I'm thinking...
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,409
...how inappropriate this is.
00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:02,789
I've got something's in my eye.
Joey, could we check it in the light, please?
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:07,543
- Oh, my God!
- What?
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:10,505
Hello! Were we at
the same table? It's like...
00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:13,007
...cocktails in Appalachia.
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:21,682
- Come on, they're close.
- Close? She's got her tongue in his ear.
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:26,479
Like you've never got a little
rambunctious with Ross.
00:18:27,689 --> 00:18:31,400
Joey, this is sick.
It's disgusting. It's...
00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:33,903
...not really true, is it?
00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:35,822
Who's to say what's true?
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:37,156
What were you thinking?
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:39,951
Look, I'm not proud of this, okay?
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,619
Well, maybe I am a little.
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,496
- Oh.
- Ow!
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,581
- I'm out of here!
- Wait! Come on!
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,667
You like him. I want her.
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,335
He likes you.
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,004
- Really?
- Yeah.
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:55,967
I'm thinking, if we put our heads
together, between the two of us...
00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:58,261
...we can break them up.
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,516
MONICA: I'm so sorry.
I can't believe I did this.
00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:07,228
I just couldn't stop laughing
at your Norman Mailer story.
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,191
[NIBBLING]
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:16,821
Waiter? One more plate of
chicken wings over here.
00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:25,496
Here's the thing.
It's like we're different.
00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:27,707
I'm the bing, you're the boom...
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,000
JANICE: Ow!
- Oh!
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:30,543
- Oh, my God!
- Ow!
00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:31,794
- I'm so sorry!
- Ow!
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,629
- Are you okay?
- Ow!
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,883
It's just my lens. It's my lens.
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,135
I'll be right back.
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,848
I hit her in the eye!
I hit her in the eye!
00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:47,602
This is the worst breakup
in the history of the world!
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,604
Oh, my God.
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,191
How many of those have you had?
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:55,610
I don't know. A million!
00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:59,739
Chandler, shh, shh. Easy, easy.
Go to your happy place.
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,158
[HUMMING]
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,661
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
- All right.
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,705
I'm not fine. Here she comes.
00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:09,749
Wait here, okay? Breathe.
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,712
[PHOEBE & JANICE SPEAKING
INAUDIBLEY]
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,061
How do you do that?
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:32,355
It's like a gift.
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:37,360
We should always, always break up
together.
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:38,736
I'd like that.
00:20:40,864 --> 00:20:43,991
ROSS: You got the clothes clean.
That's the important part.
00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:47,578
I guess. Except everything
looks like jammies now.
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,669
Whoa, I'm sorry.
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,421
Excuse me. We had this cart.
00:20:58,131 --> 00:21:00,841
I had a 24-inch waist.
You lose things.
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:03,344
Now, come on.
Get out of my way.
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:07,223
I'm sorry. Maybe I wasn't
being clear. This was our cart.
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,475
Hey, hey, hey.
There aren't any clothes in it!
00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:12,311
Hey, hey, hey!
Quit making up rules!
00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:15,940
Let go! Come on, this is my cart.
You know I saw it first.
00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:18,401
Listen, Mitzi, if you
want this cart...
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:21,153
...you're gonna have to
take me with it!
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:30,329
Yes! Did you see that?
00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:31,789
You were incredible.
00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:34,500
A brand-new woman,
ladies and gentlemen.
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:37,086
I could not have
done this without you.
00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:44,677
ROSS:
Okay, um...
00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:47,805
Uh... More clothes in the dryer?
00:21:50,058 --> 00:21:52,184
- I'm fine. I'm fine.
- Are you sure?
00:21:55,897 --> 00:21:58,190
- Are you sure you're okay?
- Yeah.
00:21:58,483 --> 00:22:00,484
- Does it still hurt?
- Yeah.
00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:06,949
What a neat idea. All your
clothes match. I'm gonna do this.
00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:09,744
MONICA:
Hi!
00:22:09,953 --> 00:22:10,995
PHOEBE:
How'd it go?
00:22:11,204 --> 00:22:12,246
Excellent!
00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:16,751
We ripped that couple apart
and kept the pieces for ourselves.
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,337
What a beautiful story.
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,090
I'm fine, by the way.
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:24,675
I'm sorry.
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:28,095
- Where's Chandler?
- He needed some time to grieve.
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,598
CHANDLER:
I'm free! I'm free!
00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:34,268
That ought to do it.
00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:42,943
[English - US - SDH]
rus__.srt
rus__.srt
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:07,090
Ничего особенного?
Да это просто чудо!
00:00:07,130 --> 00:00:10,170
Вы запускаете туда руку,
легкое движение - и бац!
00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:12,800
Лифчик - прямо из рукава!
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:14,390
Насколько я знаю...
00:00:14,430 --> 00:00:17,890
...мужчины и близко ничем подобным
похвастать не могут, так?
00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:19,020
Да ну!
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:21,100
Вы, мужики, умеете писать стоя
00:00:21,140 --> 00:00:25,100
Правда можем? Надо попробовать
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:26,650
А знаете, от чего у меня срывает крышу?
00:00:26,900 --> 00:00:32,190
У женщин всегда сиськи перед глазами,
стоит только захотеть
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,700
Один взгляд вниз - и они там
00:00:34,740 --> 00:00:38,740
Как вы ухитряетесь работать -
не постигаю!
00:00:38,780 --> 00:00:42,460
Ой, ой, а я удивляюсь, как это
мужики делают любые подлости...
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:45,460
...и им на все наплевать
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:54,470
Множественные оргазмы!
00:00:57,180 --> 00:01:00,350
1-й сезон, 5-я серия
"Крутой немецкий стиральный порошок"
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,650
Ну что, субботний вечер,
великий вечер!
00:01:50,690 --> 00:01:55,570
Оттянемся по полной
мы в субботний вечер!
00:01:55,900 --> 00:01:59,280
- Планов нет вообще?
- Ни единого!
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,450
Даже, скажем, Дженис не бросишь?
00:02:01,490 --> 00:02:05,290
Ах да-да-да. Рот закрой!
00:02:05,580 --> 00:02:08,420
Чендлер, никто не любит
кого-то бросать
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:12,210
- Но приходится.
- Знаю. Но это так тяжело...
00:02:12,460 --> 00:02:15,420
Ты сидишь рядом с ней...
Она не догадывается, что будет дальше...
00:02:15,670 --> 00:02:18,340
Наконец, собираешь все свое мужество
00:02:18,380 --> 00:02:23,640
Чтобы неловко и смущенно
передать ей записочку
00:02:25,390 --> 00:02:27,810
Зачем тебе вообще ее бросать?
00:02:27,850 --> 00:02:32,020
Будь мужчиной -
просто перестань звонить!
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,530
Если хочешь, сделаем это вместе
00:02:35,570 --> 00:02:39,110
Спасибо, нет. Она не поймет,
почему ее бросают сразу двое
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,780
Нет, в том плане, что ты
бросишь Дженис, а я брошу Тони
00:02:42,030 --> 00:02:43,580
Ой, а ты бросаешь Тони?
00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:46,580
Да! Он милый, но с ним стало скучно
00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:51,750
Не знаю, виновата ли в этом я
или его голодная забастовка
00:02:52,290 --> 00:02:54,000
Кто-нибудь хочет что-нибудь еще?
00:02:54,050 --> 00:03:00,090
Ой, да. У вас тут были такие классные
орехово-шоколадные пироженки...
00:03:00,130 --> 00:03:03,260
Нет, спасибо, ничего не надо
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,890
Что такое? Чего мы такие злые?
00:03:06,930 --> 00:03:11,020
Да это отец. Он хочет подарить мне
"Мерседес" с откидным верхом
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:14,610
Этот папаша - он просто беспощаден
00:03:14,650 --> 00:03:17,900
"Мерседес" будет при условии,
что я вернусь домой
00:03:17,940 --> 00:03:21,070
Это был ужас!
Он назвал меня "барышней"
00:03:21,110 --> 00:03:24,580
У-у, я терпеть не мог это обращение
от моего отца
00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:28,040
Он опять завел свою песню
"Эта жизнь не для тебя"?
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:31,040
Ага, расширенный диско-ремикс
с тройным повтором припева...
00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:34,710
..."Ты одна не проживешь."
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,760
Привет, Джои
00:03:41,010 --> 00:03:42,340
Боже мой! Анджела!
00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:45,810
Ого! То, что ты ее бросил,
явно пошло ей на пользу
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:48,470
- Ты к ней подойдешь?
- Нет.
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,980
Да... Нет
00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:56,730
Ладно, потом. Не хочу
показаться заинтересованным
00:03:57,150 --> 00:03:59,940
Раз Миссисипи, два Миссисипи...
00:04:00,190 --> 00:04:03,780
...три Миссисипи. Теперь можно
00:04:06,620 --> 00:04:09,410
- Привет, Анджела.
- Джои.
00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:11,080
Отлично выглядишь
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:17,800
Это благодаря платью,
которое подчеркивает мои сиськи
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,430
Кто бы мог подумать!
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,560
Рэйчел, какие у тебя планы на вечер?
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:32,640
Ночь светских львиц!
Идем с Моникой в "Постирайку"
00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:36,020
Знаешь, какое странное совпадение!
00:04:36,270 --> 00:04:38,820
Угадай, кто еще там стирает?
00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:41,030
- Кто?
- Я!
00:04:41,070 --> 00:04:44,450
Разве было не очевидно?
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:47,700
Слушай, может, я...
00:04:47,780 --> 00:04:50,870
Может, мы пойдем вместе...
все втроем?
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:56,170
А у тебя в доме разве нет прачечной?
00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:03,050
У меня таки есть в доме прачечная
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,380
Но там проблема с крысами
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:08,800
Похоже, они обожают спать в сушилках
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:12,520
Внутри их сразу не замечаешь,
а выпадают они такими...
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:15,060
...пушистыми
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:18,020
Так, значит, часов в семь?
00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:20,520
Ага
00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:24,400
Брось, Джои. Теперь я с Бобом
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,990
С Бобом?.. С каким еще на фиг Бобом?
00:05:27,030 --> 00:05:28,570
Боб - чудо
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:31,990
Он умный, утонченный,
и имеет настоящую работу
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:36,120
А ты ходишь на три пробы в месяц
и зовешь себя актером. А вот Боб...
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:39,420
Да ладно! Нам было хорошо вместе
00:05:39,460 --> 00:05:46,840
И не только в главном смысле.
Но, типа... и поговорить тоже
00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:50,220
Ну извини, Джои, ты сам сказал:
"Останемся друзьями."
00:05:50,260 --> 00:05:51,890
И угадай что?
00:05:51,930 --> 00:05:54,310
- Что?
- Мы остались друзьями.
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,190
Ну и ладно. Ладно!
00:05:56,230 --> 00:06:00,190
Тогда давай поужинаем сегодня
вчетвером, а? Чисто как друзья
00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:01,690
С кем вчетвером?
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:07,200
Ну, ты с Бобом, а я со своей
новой девушкой...
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:08,240
...Моникой
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:11,370
Моника, говорю тебе, он твой идеал
00:06:11,410 --> 00:06:15,870
Никогда! Помню твоего кузена, который
проговаривал отрыжкой весь алфавит
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,960
Ладно тебе! Он - чудо. Его зовут Боб.
Он сейчас у Анджелы...
00:06:20,210 --> 00:06:21,500
...брат
00:06:21,540 --> 00:06:23,590
Он умный, утонченный...
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:25,590
...и имеет настоящую работу
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:29,970
Это я хожу на три пробы в месяц
и называю себя актером, а вот Боб...
00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:31,760
- Господи помилуй!
- Что?
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,890
Гадкий Голый Дядька
кладет плитку на кухне
00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:40,730
Ну прошу тебя, сделай мне одолжение!
00:06:40,770 --> 00:06:43,480
Я так думаю, если я пристрою ее брата...
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,570
...то и Анджела может ко мне вернуться
00:06:45,610 --> 00:06:49,070
Что тебе приспичило?
У тебя же тысячи девиц
00:06:49,110 --> 00:06:52,120
Так-то оно так, но...
00:06:52,530 --> 00:06:57,200
Понимаешь, я страшно ошибся.
Не стоило ее бросать
00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:02,170
Ну поможешь мне? Пожалуйста!
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,760
Ладно. Пока.
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:13,640
Ну вот, Моники не будет.
Только я и Рэйчел
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,970
Стоп, живчик. Ты все продумал?
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:21,270
Это стирка - тут
особо нечего продумывать
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,650
Будут только ты и Рэйчел?
Только вдвоем?
00:07:23,690 --> 00:07:28,530
Это свидание. Ты идешь на свидание
00:07:29,110 --> 00:07:31,990
- Не-а.
- Да-а.
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,990
Ну и что ты хочешь сказать?
00:07:35,030 --> 00:07:37,660
Надо тщательней побриться?
Взять с собой вино? Что?
00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:42,290
Ну, например, подумай
о грязном белье
00:07:42,330 --> 00:07:50,090
Она в первый раз увидит твое белье.
Ты хочешь, чтобы оно было грязным?
00:07:50,630 --> 00:07:52,340
Нет
00:07:53,550 --> 00:07:56,510
Да, кстати, а смягчитель для ткани?
00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:00,270
А смягчитель чем тебе не угодил?
00:08:00,310 --> 00:08:04,190
Что? Он говорит, что я -
чувствительная и теплая натура
00:08:04,230 --> 00:08:08,650
Как маленький пушистый мишка
00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:12,820
Хорошо, я куплю что-нибудь по дороге
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:16,910
Спасибо
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:21,000
Так как этот Боб хоть выглядит?
Он высокий, он низкий?
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,290
Ага
00:08:23,540 --> 00:08:24,790
Что?
00:08:24,830 --> 00:08:27,550
Что "что"?
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,090
Ты никогда не видел Боба, да?
00:08:30,130 --> 00:08:31,220
Нет, но...
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:35,680
О господи, Джои. По моему опыту,
он запросто может оказаться...
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:40,850
Таким красавчиком. Я уже молчу
00:08:44,060 --> 00:08:46,480
Где они? Где они?
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:50,440
Как здорово. Мы никогда ничего
не делали с тобой вдвоем
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:55,110
Отлично. Завтра давай возьмем машину
и задавим на дороге пару щенков
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,950
Нет, этого я делать не хочу
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:03,660
- Вот и она.
- Отлично. Удачного тебе разрыва!
00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:07,460
- Привет, Дженис.
- Боже, какое счастье, что ты позвонил.
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:12,010
У меня был жутко дико страшный день
00:09:12,050 --> 00:09:14,590
Ой, я уже боюсь
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:18,010
Можно мне "Эспрессо" и "латэ" сюда,
пожалуйста!
00:09:18,050 --> 00:09:21,180
Мы получили пробные снимки
с нашей овощной фотосессии
00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:22,430
Они никуда не годятся
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:25,690
Так что я прогуляла полдня,
пошла по магазинам...
00:09:25,730 --> 00:09:28,650
...и - купила тебе...
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:32,030
Ищу, ищу
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,860
Опять ищу
00:09:35,110 --> 00:09:36,570
- Купила тебе...
- Что?
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:40,580
- Что?
- Что... ты мне купила?
00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:43,290
Я купила тебе...
00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:45,500
...их
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:47,880
Носки с Бульвинклем!
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,500
- Как это мило.
- Ну, у тебя же есть Роки.
00:09:50,540 --> 00:09:52,840
Теперь ты сможешь носить
Бульвинкля и Бульвинкля...
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:56,130
...или Роки и Роки,
или мешать пары как угодно
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:58,220
Хочешь - лося, хочешь - белку
00:09:58,260 --> 00:10:01,680
Кого захочешь
00:10:04,180 --> 00:10:09,440
Я возьму еще "эспрессо".
Хочешь еще "латте"?
00:10:09,980 --> 00:10:15,650
Да нет. Дай бог с этим справиться
00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:18,950
И всё?!
00:10:18,990 --> 00:10:20,830
Да, это оказалось тяжело
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,410
Ну да, объятие было таким страшным!
00:10:23,450 --> 00:10:26,250
Знаешь что? Тебя там не было!
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:31,500
"Постирайка"
Прачечная самообслуживания
00:10:37,630 --> 00:10:41,800
Дайте пройти!
В сторонку, в сторонку!
00:10:45,180 --> 00:10:48,770
Извините!
Эта машина была как бы моя
00:10:48,810 --> 00:10:52,400
Ага. А теперь она как бы не ваша
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,530
Но я ее заняла.
Поставила на нее корзину
00:10:55,570 --> 00:10:58,240
Ой, извините. Это ваша корзина?
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:03,660
Какая красивая. К сожалению,
я не вижу в машине загрузки!
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,790
Что?
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:11,080
Не загружена - не занята. Лады?
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:13,710
Что здесь такое?
00:11:13,750 --> 00:11:17,760
Да ничего. Эта страшная баба
заняла мою машину
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,470
А наверху стояла твоя корзина?
00:11:19,510 --> 00:11:21,930
- Да, но не было загрузки.
- Ну и?
00:11:21,970 --> 00:11:23,680
Ну, без загрузки - значит, не занято
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,890
Без загрузки... Извини
00:11:25,930 --> 00:11:27,680
Секундочку!
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:30,100
Это машина моей подруги
00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:32,520
Эй-эй-эй! Ее вещей не было внутри!
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:39,150
Эй-эй-эй! Такого правила нет,
сами знаете!
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:50,370
Всё, спектакль окончен
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:55,340
Глазеть больше не на что
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,550
Теперь давай постираем
00:11:58,590 --> 00:12:02,590
Это было просто чудо!
А я бы и суп назад не отослала
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:08,970
Просто ты такая добрая, милая...
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:14,900
Тебе понадобится порошок
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,190
- Что это?
- Юбервайсс!
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:24,910
Новый. Немецкий. И очень крутой!
00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:29,200
Рэйч, а ты не разделяешь вещи?
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:31,250
О боже
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:34,080
Я что, полный профан в стирке?
00:12:34,130 --> 00:12:39,510
Неужели рубашки стирают в одной машине,
а трусы в другой?
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,800
Ты этого никогда раньше не делала?
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:49,720
Сама - нет.
Но я знаю людей, которые делали
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:54,440
Ладно, ты меня поймал.
Я в стирке девственница
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:59,320
Ничего. Стирка в первый раз...
это совсем не больно
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:07,240
Значит так, в одной машине
стирают белое
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:09,740
А совсем в другой машине - цветное
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:14,370
А в третьей стирают...
00:13:14,580 --> 00:13:17,460
...деликатные вещи. То есть
всякие лифчики...
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:22,720
...и прочее ниж... труси...
ковые вещи
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,140
Так. А вот, например,
белые хабэшные трусы
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:29,260
Их стирать как белое
или как деликатное?
00:13:29,310 --> 00:13:33,480
Тут... случай сложный,
решай сама
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:39,900
Какой он симпатяга!
00:13:40,270 --> 00:13:42,190
Так где же вы, ребята, выросли?
00:13:42,230 --> 00:13:45,860
- На Бруклин Хайтс.
- В Кливленде.
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,870
- Как так получилось?
- Боже мой!
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,780
Что?
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:52,500
Мне вдруг показалось, что я...
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:55,500
...падаю
00:13:55,540 --> 00:13:58,040
Но обошлось
00:14:07,010 --> 00:14:09,180
Так ты, в общем, с Анжелой?
00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:12,010
Ага. Типа того
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:14,390
Повезло тебе
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,890
Знаешь, по чем я больше всего
в ней скучаю?
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:20,360
Она так славно причмокивает, когда ест
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,900
Как довольная маленькая белочка...
00:14:24,150 --> 00:14:27,200
...или крыска
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:28,820
Я даже и не замечал
00:14:28,860 --> 00:14:32,120
Да-да, ты прислушайся
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,370
А Моника... Моника - чудо
00:14:34,410 --> 00:14:36,660
Да, точно
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:40,630
Но это у нас ненадолго
00:14:40,790 --> 00:14:44,300
В кровати она для меня слишком
00:14:44,340 --> 00:14:46,880
В сексуальном плане
00:14:49,050 --> 00:14:52,140
Скажу тебе, Боб великолепен
00:14:52,180 --> 00:14:53,470
Ты заметила?
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,810
Как хорошо быть с парнем
умным, веселым...
00:14:56,850 --> 00:14:59,400
...и с эмоциями не на уровне
восьмилетнего пацана
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:04,480
А еще, знаешь?
Он - просто гигант в постели!
00:15:07,110 --> 00:15:12,740
А мой брат мне не рассказал
даже о своем первом разе
00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:16,120
Как интересно
00:15:19,830 --> 00:15:23,000
Давай, ты сможешь.
Это как повязку сдернуть
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:27,260
Быстро дерни - и рана откроется
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:30,340
Давай! Иди!
00:15:41,730 --> 00:15:44,360
Привет, Дженис
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:48,320
Ну, все поехали - нам лучше будет расстаться
00:15:55,370 --> 00:15:58,290
Понятно
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:03,750
Вот оно как
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,170
Стоп, стоп, стоп
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:13,430
Знаю, это прозвучит очень глупо...
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,930
...но я чувствую, что если смогу это...
00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:19,020
...если я смогу сама себе стирать...
00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:21,850
...то справлюсь и со всем остальным
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:25,440
Это совсем даже не глупо
00:16:25,690 --> 00:16:29,820
Вот я... Когда я впервые сам готовил
после ухода Кэрол...
00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:35,620
Извини, наше время вышло.
В следующей серии "Росса"!..
00:16:35,740 --> 00:16:37,280
- О-о.
- Что "о-о"?
00:16:38,660 --> 00:16:42,830
О-о, постиралось
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,750
Это... это песня такая
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,630
Такая себе прачечная песня
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,970
О-о! ПостИралОсь!
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:53,090
Росс, в чем дело?
00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:54,430
Ни в чем. Ни в чем
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,220
Ля-ля, хорош стирать...
00:16:56,260 --> 00:16:57,560
Покажи мне
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:03,230
Ты оставила красный носок
в своем белом, и вот...
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:08,020
...теперь всё немного розовое
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:09,650
Всё стало розовым?
00:17:09,690 --> 00:17:12,860
Кроме красного носка.
Он остался красным
00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:15,610
Не страшно. Не беда.
С каждым случается
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:17,620
Не с каждым. А со мной!
00:17:17,780 --> 00:17:21,540
Господи, я вся буду
как огромный зефир!
00:17:21,580 --> 00:17:23,620
Что я делаю? Что я делаю?
00:17:23,660 --> 00:17:27,000
Папа был прав! Я одна не проживу
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:31,050
Я даже стирать не умею!
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,140
Итак, с надувным Недопсом
что-то случилось...
00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:46,690
...ему почему-то не надули голову
00:17:46,730 --> 00:17:49,520
Такие дела, значит
00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:53,440
И его голова прохлопала
по всему Бродвею
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,530
Я себе и подумала:
00:17:55,780 --> 00:17:58,870
Какое неприглядное зрелище
00:17:58,910 --> 00:18:04,460
Что-то в глаз попало. Джои,
посмотри на свет, будь любезен!
00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:07,880
- Господи!
- Что?
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,800
Аллё! За нашим столиком!
Да такое...
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:14,670
...даже в шоу-бизнесе
себе не позволяют
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:18,680
Ну и что! Они просто близки
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:22,560
Близки? Да ее язык у него в ухе!
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:27,560
А типа ты никогда
не баловалась с Россом
00:18:27,810 --> 00:18:32,320
Джои, это извращение.
Это просто отвратительно...
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:34,240
...и это все неправда, да?
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,150
Кто знает, что такое правда?
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,490
Господи, чем ты думал?
00:18:37,530 --> 00:18:40,280
Ладно, мне самому стыдно, поняла?
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,290
Ну, немножко
00:18:43,830 --> 00:18:45,870
- Я пошла!
- Подожди, подожди! Ты чего?
00:18:45,910 --> 00:18:48,000
Тебе нужен он. Я хочу ее
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,210
Он положил глаз на тебя
00:18:50,250 --> 00:18:52,130
- Правда?
- Ну да.
00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:56,260
Слушай... Если объединить
наши с тобой силы...
00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:59,930
...мы их разведем
00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:03,640
Извини. Как же это так получилось!
00:19:03,890 --> 00:19:08,890
Ты так смешно рассказываешь
о жизни великих людей!
00:19:13,690 --> 00:19:18,490
Официант!
Еще тарелку куриных крылышек!
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,830
Вот в чем все дело, Дженис.
Мы разные
00:19:25,870 --> 00:19:29,080
Я типа "бим-бим-бим",
а ты типа "бум-бум-бум"
00:19:29,330 --> 00:19:30,710
О господи!
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,130
Извини, ради бога!
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,710
Ты цела?
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,550
Линза. Просто линза
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,800
Я сейчас приду
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,180
Я дал ей в глаз! Дал прямо в глаз!
00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:47,730
Это худший разрыв в истории человечества!
00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:51,270
Боже мой!
00:19:51,850 --> 00:19:53,310
Сколько их ты уже выпил?
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,360
Не знаю. Миллион?
00:19:56,610 --> 00:20:02,450
Чендлер, спокойно, расслабься.
Окажись в своем счастливом месте
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:05,950
Порядок, порядок
00:20:05,990 --> 00:20:08,000
Непорядок. Она идет
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,420
Жди здесь, ладно? Дыши
00:20:28,850 --> 00:20:30,390
Как это у тебя получается?
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:34,020
Это у меня такой дар
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,480
Нам надо всегда-всегда
бросать кого-то вместе
00:20:37,730 --> 00:20:40,400
Какая хорошая мысль!
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:44,280
Одежда теперь чистая - вот что главное
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:49,250
Наверное. Только вся
похожа на пижамы
00:20:53,790 --> 00:20:54,790
Не-ет, извините
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:58,130
Прошу прощения, эта тележка была наша
00:20:58,170 --> 00:21:01,130
А у меня была талия 60 см.
Мы всегда что-то теряем
00:21:01,170 --> 00:21:03,470
А теперь давай убирайся с дороги
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:07,600
Извините, может, я плохо объяснила?
Это была наша тележка
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,810
Эй-эй-эй! В ней не было вещей!
00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:12,440
Эй-эй-эй! Хватит сочинять правила!
00:21:12,690 --> 00:21:16,310
Отпусти! Это моя тележка
00:21:16,310 --> 00:21:18,690
Слушай, корова - если хочешь тележку...
00:21:18,730 --> 00:21:22,820
...тебе придется забрать с ней и меня!
00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:30,660
Ого! Ты это видел?
00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:31,870
Ты была неподражаема
00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:34,580
Родился новый человек,
дамы и господа
00:21:34,830 --> 00:21:39,000
Спасибо тебе, без тебя
я бы не справилась
00:21:42,630 --> 00:21:49,470
Так-так... А в сушилке
ничего не осталось?
00:21:50,180 --> 00:21:53,850
Я в порядке, все нормально
00:21:55,890 --> 00:21:58,310
- Как ты? Точно все нормально?
- Ага.
00:21:58,470 --> 00:22:02,020
- Все еще болит?
- Ага.
00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:08,480
Идея - просто блеск! Вся одежда
теперь подходит. Я тоже так сделаю
00:22:09,940 --> 00:22:11,150
Как все получилось?
00:22:11,190 --> 00:22:12,240
Отлично!
00:22:12,490 --> 00:22:17,740
Мы порвали обе пары
и оставили куски себе
00:22:17,990 --> 00:22:20,870
Какая красивая история
00:22:21,830 --> 00:22:23,080
Кстати, я в полном порядке
00:22:23,330 --> 00:22:24,920
Ой, извини
00:22:25,170 --> 00:22:26,080
А где Чендлер?
00:22:26,330 --> 00:22:28,090
Ему нужно погоревать в одиночестве
00:22:28,340 --> 00:22:32,130
Я свободен! Я свободен!
00:22:32,670 --> 00:22:35,800
Наверное, уже отгоревал
00:22:37,930 --> 00:22:40,100
Перевод В.Бродового
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