Эпизод, где улетает Суперпёс

00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:13,470

...but I was wondering,

do you think it would be possible...

00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:16,724

...if I got a $100 advance on my salary?

00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,684

An advance?

00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,311

It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving

with my family.

00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:25,774

See, every year, we go skiing in Vail,

and normally my father pays for my ticket...

00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:29,194

...but I've sort of started

this whole independent thing, you know...

00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:32,573

...which is actually why I took this "job."

00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,578

Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart.

00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:40,289

You're a terrible, terrible waitress.

00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:44,043

Really, really awful.

00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:48,380

Okay, I hear what you're saying.

I'm with you.

00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,215

Um...

00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:54,511

But I'm trying really hard,

and I think I'm doing better.

00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:57,097

I really do.

00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:58,474

Does anybody need coffee?

00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,309

MAN: Yeah, over here.

WOMAN: Yeah, I do.

00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:04,897

Heh. Look at that.

00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:58,408

Excuse me, sir?

Hi. You come in here all the time.

00:01:58,576 --> 00:01:59,993

MAN: Uh-huh.

- I was just wondering...

00:02:00,161 --> 00:02:03,122

...you think there's a possibility

you could give me an advance on my tips?

00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:05,290

Huh? No.

00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:09,753

RACHEL: Okay, okay. That's fine, fine.

Sorry about that spill before.

00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:11,088

[SIGHS]

00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,174

Only 98.50 to go.

00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,343

- Hey. Hey.

ROSS & CHANDLER: Hey.

00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:20,222

Ross, did you know that Mom and Dad

are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?

00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,391

What? No, they're not.

00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:25,144

- Yes, they are. The Blymans invited them.

- You're wrong.

00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,189

- I am not wrong.

- You're wrong.

00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:32,359

No, I just talked to them.

00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:35,362

I'm calling Mom.

00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:41,952

- Hey, hey.

MONICA & CHANDLER: Hey.

00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,787

- Hey.

- Coffee.

00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:48,333

And this from the Cry for Help Department:

Are you wearing makeup?

00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:51,962

Yes, I am.

00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:55,757

As of today, I am officially

Joey Tribbiani, actor/model.

00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,009

Thank you.

00:02:57,177 --> 00:03:02,014

That's funny, I was thinking you look more

like Joey Tribbiani, man/woman.

00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:05,184

What were you modeling for?

00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,561

You know those posters

for the City Free Clinic?

00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,439

Oh, wow. You're gonna be one of those

healthy, healthy, healthy guys?

00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,983

- Ah?

- The asthma guy's really cute.

00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,610

- Oh, he is.

RACHEL: Isn't he?

00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,820

- You know which one you're gonna be?

- No, no.

00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,865

But I hear Lyme disease is open,

so, you know...

00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,117

Good luck, man. I hope you get it.

00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,535

Thanks.

00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,708

Well, you were right.

How can they do this to us, huh?

00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,293

It's Thanksgiving.

00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:34,129

Aw. Tell you what.

How about if I cook dinner at my place?

00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,340

I'll make it just like Mom's.

00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:39,426

Will you make the mashed potatoes

with the lumps?

00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,429

You know they're not actually

supposed to...?

00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,681

I'll work on the lumps.

00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:47,559

- Joey, you're going home, right?

- Yeah.

00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:51,897

And I assume, Chandler, you're still

boycotting all the Pilgrim holidays?

00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:54,942

Yes, every single one of them.

00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,527

Phoebe, you're gonna be

with your grandma?

00:03:57,695 --> 00:03:58,820

Yeah, and her boyfriend.

00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:02,741

But we're celebrating Thanksgiving

in December because he's lunar.

00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,623

So you're free Thursday, then?

00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,209

- Yeah. Oh, can I come?

- Yeah.

00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:16,255

Rach, you still thinking

you're gonna make it to Vail?

00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:19,132

Absolutely. Shoop, shoop, shoop.

00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:23,011

- Only $102 to go.

- I thought it was 98.50.

00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:25,847

Yeah, well, it was, but I broke a cup.

00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,685

Well, I'm off to Carol's.

00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:32,729

Ooh, ooh, why don't we invite her?

00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:34,940

Ooh, ooh, because she's my ex-wife...

00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:39,444

...and will probably wanna

bring her, ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.

00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:49,413

[SUSAN CHUCKLES]

00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,540

Hi. Is Carol here?

00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:55,085

- No, she's at a faculty meeting.

- Oh.

00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:58,171

Well, I just came by to pick up my skull.

00:04:58,339 --> 00:05:00,549

Well, not mine, but...

00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,884

- Come in.

- Thanks.

00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:07,306

Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class,

and I have to get it back to the museum.

00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,266

What's it look like?

00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,560

Kind of like a big face without skin.

00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:17,649

Yes, heh, I'm familiar with the concept.

00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:20,402

- We can just look for it.

- Okay.

00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:30,746

Wow, you guys, heh, sure have a lot

of books about being a lesbian.

00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:36,960

Well, you know,

you have to take a course.

00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:40,756

Otherwise they don't let you do it.

00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:53,185

Hey, hey, Yertle the Turtle. A classic.

00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:56,104

Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.

00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,190

[CHUCKLES]

00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:01,443

The baby that hasn't been born yet?

00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,862

Uh, wouldn't that mean you're...

00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,697

...crazy?

00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:09,534

What, you don't think

they can hear sounds in there?

00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:13,914

You're not serious.

I mean, you really talk to it?

00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:17,876

Yeah, all the time.

I want the baby to know my voice.

00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,046

Do you, uh...? Do you talk about me?

00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:25,133

- Yeah, yeah. All the time.

- Really?

00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:30,764

But, um, we just refer to you as

"Bobo the sperm guy."

00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:46,238

Look, if she's talking to it, I just think

I should get some belly time too.

00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,698

I mean, not that I believe any of this.

00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:52,494

Oh, I believe it.

I think the baby can totally hear everything.

00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:54,037

- Really?

- I can show you.

00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,664

This will seem a little weird.

00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,792

But you put your head

inside this turkey...

00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:03,171

...and then we'll all talk,

and you'll hear everything we say.

00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:07,592

I'd just like to say

I'm totally behind this experiment.

00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:11,805

In fact,

I'd very much like to butter your head.

00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:17,936

ROSS: Hey.

MONICA: Hey, Rach.

00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,856

- Did you make your money?

RACHEL: No, not even close.

00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:23,108

Forget Vail. Forget seeing my family.

00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:27,362

Forget shoop, shoop, shoop.

00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,365

Uh, Rach...

00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:31,658

...here's your mail.

00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,452

Thanks. You can just put it on the table.

00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:35,912

Heh. No.

00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,415

Here's your mail.

00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:42,752

Thanks. You can just put it on the table.

00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,172

Would you just open it?

00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,384

Oh, my God.

00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:52,804

- Oh, you guys are great.

- Aw. Ha, ha.

00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:55,056

RACHEL: Aw.

- We all chipped in.

00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:58,226

- We did?

- You owe me 20 bucks.

00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:00,896

Thank you. Thank you so much.

00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:03,732

Chandler, here you go.

Got your traditional holiday feast.

00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,025

Got your tomato soup...

00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:09,237

...your grilled-cheese fixings,

and your family-size bag of Funyuns.

00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:12,032

Wait, this is what you're having

for Thanksgiving dinner?

00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,784

What is it with you and this holiday?

00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:16,036

[SIGHS]

00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,496

All right, I'm 9 years old.

00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,331

- Aw.

- Aw, I hate this story.

00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,416

We've just finished Thanksgiving dinner.

00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:25,837

I have... And I remember this part vividly.

- A mouthful of pumpkin pie.

00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:30,091

And this is the moment my parents

choose to tell me they're getting divorced.

00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:31,635

Oh, my God.

00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:36,223

It's very difficult to enjoy Thanksgiving

dinner once you've seen it in reverse.

00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,658

Hi.

00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:58,119

- We used to work together.

- We did?

00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:01,122

Yeah, at Macy's.

You're the Obsession girl, right?

00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:03,708

- Yes.

- I was the Aramis guy.

00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:09,673

- Aramis? Aramis? Aramis?

- Oh.

00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:10,924

Yeah, right.

00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,135

I gotta tell you,

you're the best in the business.

00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:15,971

- Get out.

JOEY: I'm serious.

00:09:16,138 --> 00:09:20,559

You're amazing. You know when to spritz.

You know when to lay back.

00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:23,228

Really?

You don't know what that means to me.

00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,980

[CHUCKLES]

00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:26,356

Mm, mm.

00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:30,151

You smell great tonight.

Uh, what are you wearing?

00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,071

Nothing.

00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:41,037

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:44,624

Listen, do you wanna go get a drink

or something?

00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,669

Yeah, that would be...

00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:52,007

- What's wrong?

- I just remembered I have to do something.

00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:53,967

Oh. What?

00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,552

Um...

00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:57,596

Leave.

00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:00,390

JOEY:

Whoa. Wait, wait, wait.

00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:12,444

[GASPS]

00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:33,798

[ALL LAUGHING]

00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:35,634

[ROSS CLEARS THROAT]

00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,264

[CHANDLER CLEARS THROAT]

00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,142

So I guess you all saw it.

00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:46,645

- What?

- Saw what?

00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:50,523

No, we're just laughing.

You know how laughter can be infectious.

00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:51,816

[ALL LAUGHING]

00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:10,377

Hey.

00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:14,339

Set another place for Thanksgiving.

My entire family thinks I have VD.

00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,551

Tonight, on a very special Blossom.

00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,564

MONICA:

Mm, looking good. Okay.

00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:36,403

Cider's mulling, turkey's turking,

yams are yamming.

00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:38,196

What?

00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:39,781

I don't know.

00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:42,242

It's just not the same

without Mom in the kitchen.

00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:45,829

Ugh. All right, that's it.

Get out of my way and stop annoying me.

00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:48,707

Well, that's closer. That's...

00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,875

I got the ticket, I got the ticket.

00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:54,963

Five hours from now,

shoop, shoop, shoop.

00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:57,716

Oh, you must stop shooping.

00:11:57,883 --> 00:12:00,260

Okay, I'm gonna get my stuff.

00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,429

Chandler, will you just come in, already?

00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:06,307

No, thank you. I prefer to keep

a safe distance from all this merriment.

00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:08,643

Look out. Incoming pumpkin pie.

00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,812

[MIMICS PLANE ZOOMING]

00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:20,488

Okay, we all laughed when you did it with

the stuffing, but that's not funny anymore.

00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:25,660

Hey, Monica, I got a question.

I don't see any Tater Tots.

00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,871

That's not a question.

00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,790

But my mom always makes them.

It's like a tradition.

00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:34,919

You get a little piece of turkey on your fork,

a little cranberry sauce, and a Tot.

00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:40,133

I mean, it's bad enough

I can't be with my family...

00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:43,261

...because of my disease.

00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:45,638

All right, fine.

00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:48,975

Tonight's potatoes

will be both mashed with lumps...

00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:50,685

...and in the form of Tots.

00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:52,520

Yes.

00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,274

All right,

I'm off to talk to my unborn child.

00:12:57,651 --> 00:13:00,779

- Ah.

- Okay, Mom never hit.

00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,616

[MIXER WHIRRING]

00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:07,243

PHOEBE:

Okay, all done.

00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:10,580

What? Phoebe, did you whip the pota...?

00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,248

Ross needs lumps.

00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:14,459

Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I just...

00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:19,798

I thought we could have them whipped

and then add some peas and onions.

00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:21,466

Why would we do that?

00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,927

Then they'd be just like

my mom used to make it...

00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:25,720

...you know, before she died.

00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:32,227

Okay, three kinds of potatoes coming up.

00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:35,730

Okay. Goodbye, you guys.

00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:37,190

Thanks for everything.

00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:41,653

Oh, God, look at... Sorry. I'm so sorry.

00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:46,741

The most unbelievable thing has happened.

Underdog has gotten away.

00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:50,537

- The balloon?

- No, no, the actual cartoon character.

00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,207

Of course the balloon.

00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:56,709

It's all over the news.

Before he reached Macy's...

00:13:56,877 --> 00:14:00,213

...he broke free and was spotted

flying over Washington Square Park.

00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:03,550

- I'm going to the roof. Who's with me?

- Well, I can't. I gotta go.

00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:06,052

An 80-foot inflatable dog

loose over the city?

00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:09,222

- How often does that happen?

- Almost never.

00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:13,184

- Got the keys?

- Okay.

00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:18,940

Any time you're ready.

00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,818

Okay.

00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,987

Okay, here we go.

00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:27,490

Oh...

00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:32,453

Okay, where am I talking to here?

I mean, uh...

00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:37,417

Well, there is one way that seems to offer

a certain acoustical advantage, but...

00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:39,961

Just aim for the bump.

00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,797

Okay.

00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:44,883

Okay, okay.

00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:47,093

Okay, here goes.

00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:56,853

You know, I... You know, I can't do this.

00:14:57,021 --> 00:15:00,106

This is... It's too weird. I feel stupid.

00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:02,901

All right, so don't do it. It's fine.

00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:05,904

You don't have to do it

just because Susan does it.

00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:10,742

Hello, baby. Hello, hello.

00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:14,746

- That moment when we first saw

the giant dog shadow fall over the park?

00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:18,082

But did they have to shoot him down?

I mean, that was just mean.

00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:23,421

Okay, right about now the turkey

should be crispy on the outside...

00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,256

...and juicy on the inside.

00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,718

Why are we standing here?

00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:32,263

We're waiting for you to open the door.

You've got the keys.

00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:34,182

No, I don't.

00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:39,103

Yes, you do.

When we left, you said, "Got the keys."

00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:43,983

No, I didn't. I asked, "Got the keys?"

00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:47,987

No, no, no. You said, "Got the keys."

00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:51,407

Either of you have the keys?

00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:55,286

- The oven is on.

- Oh, I've gotta get my ticket.

00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:58,539

- Wait. We have a copy of your key.

- Well, then get it, get it!

00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:01,042

Hey, hey.

That tone won't make me go any faster.

00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:03,002

- Joey.

- That one will.

00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:07,966

ROSS:

And everyone's telling me:

00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:11,260

"You gotta pick a major.

You gotta pick a major."

00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:16,516

So on a dare, I picked paleontology.

00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:22,063

And you have no idea what I'm saying,

because, let's face it, you're a fetus.

00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:26,442

You're just happy

you don't have gills anymore.

00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:30,405

Look, you don't have to talk to it.

You can sing to it.

00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:33,408

Oh, please.

I am not singing to your stomach, okay?

00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:36,869

- How's it going?

ROSS: Shh, shh, shh.

00:16:37,037 --> 00:16:38,913

[SINGING]

Here we come

00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:41,374

Walkin' down the street

00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:45,253

Get the funniest looks from

Everyone we meet

00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:46,629

Hey, hey...

00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,844

- Hey, uh, did you just feel that?

- I did.

00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,513

- Well, does it always, uh...?

- No, no, that was the first.

00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:58,099

- Keep singing. Keep singing.

ROSS: Oh.

00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,977

[SINGING]

Hey, hey, you're my baby

00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:03,438

And I can't wait to meet you

00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:06,941

When you come out I'll buy you a bagel

And then we'll go to the zoo

00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,359

[CAROL & SUSAN SHRIEK]

00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,361

I felt it that time.

00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,030

Hey, hey, I'm your daddy

00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:13,948

I'm the one without any breasts

00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:22,206

- Nope, not that one.

- Can you go any faster with that?

00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,542

Hey, I got one keyhole

and about a zillion keys.

00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,502

You do the math.

00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:29,714

Why do you guys have so many keys

in there anyway?

00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,592

For an emergency just like this.

00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:36,220

All right, listen, smirky.

00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,473

If it wasn't for your stupid balloon...

00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,809

...I would be on a plane,

watching a woman do this right now.

00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:43,978

But I'm not.

00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:47,315

I swear you said you had the keys.

00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,151

No. I wouldn't say I had the keys

unless I had the keys.

00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,111

And I obviously did not have the keys.

00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:56,032

Okay, all right, that's it.

Enough with the keys. No one say "keys."

00:17:58,285 --> 00:18:01,162

Why would I have the keys?

00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,331

Aside from the fact

that you said you did?

00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,833

- But I didn't.

- Well, you should have.

00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,335

MONICA: Why?

RACHEL: Because.

00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,545

Why? Because everything

is my responsibility?

00:18:09,713 --> 00:18:12,340

Isn't it enough

that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner?

00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:16,677

Everyone wants a different kind of potato,

so I'm making different kinds of potatoes.

00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:19,847

You know, does anybody care

what kind of potatoes I want?

00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:23,643

No, no, no!

00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:26,854

You know, just as long as Phoebe

gets her peas and onions...

00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:28,981

...and Mario gets his Tots.

00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:33,027

[SOBBING IN HIGH VOICE]

It's my first Thanksgiving, and I...

00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:36,614

It's all burnt, and I can't...

00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,116

[SOBS]

00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:40,743

Okay, Monica,

only dogs can hear you now, so...

00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:42,662

Look, the door's open. Here we go.

00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,288

Oh, God.

00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:46,707

- Ooh.

- Oh.

00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:52,004

Well, the turkey's burnt.

00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:56,676

Potatoes are ruined.

Potatoes are ruined. Potatoes are ruined.

00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,261

[SINGING]

Here we come

00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,512

Walkin' down the...

00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,139

[ROSS HUMS]

00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:05,685

This doesn't smell like Mom's.

00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,814

No, it doesn't, does it?

But you wanted lumps, Ross?

00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,275

Well, here you go, buddy. You got one.

00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,112

Oh, God, this is great.

00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:19,699

The plane is gone,

so I guess I'm stuck here with you guys.

00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:23,619

Hey, we all had better plans, okay?

This was nobody's first choice.

00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,204

Oh, really?

00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:26,914

So why was I busting my ass...

00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:29,417

...to make this delicious

Thanksgiving dinner?!

00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:32,044

- You call that delicious?

- You be quiet!

00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:34,088

[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:36,007

All right, stop it, stop it, stop it!

00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,010

Now, this feels like Thanksgiving.

00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:55,401

PHOEBE: Ew.

- What?

00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:59,071

PHOEBE: Ugly Naked Guy's

taking his turkey out of the oven.

00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:01,782

JOEY, ROSS & MONICA:

Eh.

00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,869

PHOEBE:

Oh, my God. He's not alone.

00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,245

Ugly Naked Guy...

00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:09,582

...is having Thanksgiving dinner

with Ugly Naked Gal.

00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:13,461

JOEY:

I gotta see this.

00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,172

ALL:

Aw.

00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:18,382

All right, Ugly Naked Guy.

00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:21,969

Ooh, ugly naked dancing.

00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:24,680

It's nice that he has someone.

00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:37,526

Shall I carve?

00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:38,778

By all means.

00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:40,947

CHANDLER:

All right.

00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:48,579

Okay, who wants light cheese

and who wants dark cheese?

00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:52,500

I don't even wanna know

about the dark cheese.

00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:55,294

- Does anybody wanna split this with me?

- Ooh, I will.

00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:56,921

Mm. You guys have to make a wish.

00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:01,926

- Make a wish?

- Come on, you know, Thanksgiving.

00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:09,433

Ooh. You got the bigger half.

What did you wish for?

00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:11,602

The bigger half.

00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:16,148

All right, I'd like to propose a toast.

00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:18,776

- A little toast here. Ding, ding, ding.

ALL: Mm.

00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,904

This isn't exactly

the kind of Thanksgiving you planned...

00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:25,866

...but for me this has been really great,

you know?

00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:28,786

I think because it didn't involve divorce...

00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,788

...or projectile vomiting.

00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:35,793

I was just thinking,

if you'd gone to Vail...

00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:39,880

...or if you guys had been with your family,

or if you didn't have...

00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:41,590

...syphilis and stuff...

00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:46,137

...we wouldn't be all together, you know?

00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,972

So I guess what I'm trying to say...

00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:54,020

...is that I'm very thankful

that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.

00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,480

RACHEL & JOEY:

That's so sweet.

00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:58,649

RACHEL:

Thank you.

00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:00,318

ROSS:

Mm.

00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:02,611

And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.

00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:04,071

And a crappy New Year.

00:22:04,239 --> 00:22:06,532

ALL:

Hear, hear.

00:22:41,526 --> 00:22:43,527

[English - US - SDH]

00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,380

...но я хотела бы спросить -

возможно ли, чтобы...

00:00:13,630 --> 00:00:17,010

...я получила аванс в $100

с моей зарплаты?

00:00:17,260 --> 00:00:18,590

Аванс?

00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:21,220

Чтобы провести День Благодарения

с семьей

00:00:21,470 --> 00:00:25,680

Каждый год мы катаемся на лыжах в Вэйле,

и за мой проезд платит папа...

00:00:25,930 --> 00:00:29,270

...но я же затеяла всю эту

независимость...

00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:34,110

...поэтому и нашла эту, типа,

"работу"

00:00:34,150 --> 00:00:37,490

Рэйчел, Рэйчел, солнышко!

00:00:37,740 --> 00:00:40,820

Ты ужасная, ужасная официантка

00:00:41,070 --> 00:00:45,240

Правда-правда - отвратительная

00:00:45,790 --> 00:00:49,870

Так, я поняла. Я уважаю

вашу точку зрения

00:00:50,370 --> 00:00:54,460

Но я очень-очень стараюсь,

и по-моему, у меня уже получается

00:00:54,710 --> 00:00:57,050

Уже намного лучше

00:00:57,300 --> 00:01:00,890

Кто-нибудь желает кофе?

00:01:05,180 --> 00:01:08,350

1-й сезон, 9-я серия:

"Праздничный побег Недопса"

00:01:55,870 --> 00:01:56,700

Извините, сэр?

00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,540

Вы к нам все время ходите.

Я хотела спросить...

00:01:59,790 --> 00:02:05,330

...не могли бы вы дать мне

небольшой аванс в счет моих чаевых?

00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:11,960

Ну ладно. Извините за то,

что облила вас в тот раз!

00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:15,640

Осталось всего 98.50!

00:02:16,550 --> 00:02:20,060

Росс, ты знал, что мама и папа на

День Благодарения едут в Пуэрто-Рико?

00:02:20,310 --> 00:02:22,270

Что? Нет, не едут!

00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:23,940

Едут. Их пригласили Блаймены

00:02:24,190 --> 00:02:26,600

Ты ошибаешься

00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:27,980

Я не ошибаюсь

00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:30,730

Ты ошибаешься

00:02:30,730 --> 00:02:33,900

Нет, я только что с ними говорила

00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,910

Я звоню маме

00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:49,840

Запрос из отдела Душераздирающих

Криков: Вы пользуетесь косметикой?

00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:56,760

Да, пользуюсь. Отныне я официально

"Джои Триббиани актер черточка модель"

00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,970

Забавно. С виду ты больше смахиваешь

на "Джои Триббиани...

00:03:00,220 --> 00:03:03,520

...мужчину черточка женщину"

00:03:03,770 --> 00:03:05,100

А где ты снимаешься?

00:03:05,350 --> 00:03:07,520

Знаете агитационные плакаты

городской бесплатной клиники?

00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:11,320

А, так ты будешь одним из тех

здоровых крепких румяных парней?

00:03:11,570 --> 00:03:14,280

Астматик у них очень симпатичный

00:03:14,530 --> 00:03:16,450

Уже знаешь, кем будешь ты?

00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:19,820

Нет, но слышал, что у них там

клещи пока не заняты, так что...

00:03:20,070 --> 00:03:22,200

Удачи! Надеюсь, твой клещ

тебя не минует

00:03:22,450 --> 00:03:25,080

Спасибо

00:03:27,210 --> 00:03:29,670

Ты была права. Как они могут?

00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,540

Ведь День Благодарения!

00:03:31,790 --> 00:03:33,840

А что если я приготовлю ужин

у меня дома?

00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:35,880

Я сделаю все, как мама

00:03:36,130 --> 00:03:39,800

А ты сможешь сделать

картофельное пюре с комочками?

00:03:40,050 --> 00:03:42,390

Вообще-то по рецепту их там быть...

00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,140

Но я сделаю, что смогу

00:03:45,390 --> 00:03:47,440

Джои, ты едешь домой, да?

00:03:47,690 --> 00:03:52,610

А ты, Чендлер, до сих пор бойкотируешь

все пилигримские праздники?

00:03:52,860 --> 00:03:55,360

Да. Все до единого

00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:58,610

- Фиби, ты будешь отмечать с бабушкой?

- И ее кавалером.

00:03:58,860 --> 00:04:04,160

Но у нас День Благодарения в декабре.

Он живет по лунному календарю

00:04:07,370 --> 00:04:09,540

То есть в четверг ты свободна?

00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:13,540

Да. Ой, а я могу придти?

00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,800

Рэйч, ты все-таки едешь в Вэйл?

00:04:16,050 --> 00:04:19,090

Конечно. Ш-шуп, ш-шуп, ш-шуп!

00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:21,510

Осталось всего 102 доллара

00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:22,930

Но ведь оставалось уже 98.50?

00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:27,390

Ну да, но я разбила чашку

00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:29,560

Ну все, я пошел к Кэрол

00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:32,610

Ой, кстати, почему бы

не пригласить ее?

00:04:32,860 --> 00:04:35,570

Ой, кстати, потому что она -

моя бывшая жена...

00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:41,700

...и вероятно, захочет привести свою,

ой, кстати, подругу-лесбиянку

00:04:50,330 --> 00:04:51,460

Привет. Кэрол дома?

00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:55,000

Нет, она на педсовете

00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:58,050

Я зашел забрать мой череп

00:04:58,300 --> 00:05:00,840

Ну, в смысле, не мой...

00:05:01,090 --> 00:05:02,720

Заходи

00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:07,180

Кэрол одалживала его для занятий,

а мне нужно вернуть его в музей

00:05:07,430 --> 00:05:08,930

Как он выглядит?

00:05:09,180 --> 00:05:13,100

Типа как большое лицо

совсем без кожи

00:05:14,310 --> 00:05:17,530

Да, в общих чертах

я себе представляю

00:05:17,780 --> 00:05:21,320

Можешь поискать, если хочешь

00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:32,170

А у вас, девчонки, много книжек

о том, как быть лесбиянками

00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:38,460

Ну знаешь ли, нужно пройти

курс переподготовки

00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:42,260

А иначе не разрешают ими быть

00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:53,100

О, "Мишка-топтыжка"! Нравится?

00:05:53,350 --> 00:05:57,610

Вообще-то я читаю ее ребенку

00:05:58,230 --> 00:06:01,360

Ребенку, который еще не родился?

00:06:01,610 --> 00:06:03,780

Не значит ли это, что ты...

00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,200

...не в своем уме?

00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:09,450

Что? Ты не знаешь, что ребенок

уже и там слышит звуки?

00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:12,160

Ты серьезно? В смысле...

00:06:12,410 --> 00:06:14,210

...ты правда с ним разговариваешь?

00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:18,840

Ну да, все время. Я хочу,

чтобы ребенок знал мой голос

00:06:19,090 --> 00:06:22,590

А обо мне говоришь?

00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:23,970

Да, постоянно

00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:26,590

Правда?

00:06:27,010 --> 00:06:31,810

Мы называем тебя

"Дядя, который дал сперму"

00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:46,160

Если она с ним разговаривает, пусть

и мне выделят пузиковое время

00:06:46,410 --> 00:06:48,620

Не то чтобы я в это верил

00:06:48,870 --> 00:06:53,250

А я верю. Я знаю, что ребенок

абсолютно все слышит

00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,580

Я тебе покажу. Сперва это

покажется диковатым

00:06:55,830 --> 00:06:59,380

Вот давай, засунь голову в индейку...

00:06:59,630 --> 00:07:04,340

...а мы будем разговаривать,

и ты все оттуда услышишь

00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:09,010

Прошу занести в протокол, что я

обеими руками за этот эксперимент

00:07:09,260 --> 00:07:14,350

Мне даже хочется смазать

тебе голову маслом

00:07:16,850 --> 00:07:18,060

Привет, Рэйч.

00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:20,770

- Ты заработала свои деньги?

- Даже и близко нет.

00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:23,030

Прощай, Вэйл. Прощай,

праздник с семьей

00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:28,320

Прощай, ш-шуп, ш-шуп, ш-шуп

00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,620

Рэйч, вот твоя почта

00:07:31,870 --> 00:07:35,620

- Спасибо. Положи на столик.

- Не-ет!

00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,670

Вот твоя почта!

00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:42,670

Спасибо. Положи ее на столик,

пожалуйста

00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:46,260

Давай открывай уже!

00:07:47,430 --> 00:07:49,300

О боже!

00:07:49,550 --> 00:07:52,760

Вы, ребята, просто прелесть!

00:07:53,010 --> 00:07:54,970

Мы все скинулись

00:07:55,220 --> 00:07:56,230

Правда?

00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,140

Ты должен мне двадцать баксов

00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:00,810

Спасибо. Спасибо вам большое!

00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:02,190

Чендлер, держи

00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,900

Твое традиционное пиршество.

Томатный суп...

00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:09,160

...гарнир с сыром гриль и

семейная упаковка чипсов

00:08:09,410 --> 00:08:11,740

Подожди-ка, Чендлер.

И это твой праздничный ужин?

00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:15,790

Что за зуб ты держишь

на этот праздник?

00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,410

Итак, мне девять лет

00:08:17,660 --> 00:08:19,210

Ненавижу эту историю!

00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:21,380

Мы только что закончили

превосходный праздничный ужин

00:08:21,630 --> 00:08:23,540

И я... Я помню эту часть очень ярко...

00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,840

- набил полный рот тыквенного пирога

00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:30,050

И именно в этот момент родители

решили сказать мне, что разводятся

00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,550

Боже мой!

00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:37,770

Очень трудно получать удовольствие

от праздничного ужина после того, как

видел его отход с занятых позиций

00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:56,910

Мы раньше работали вместе

00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:58,580

Правда?

00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:02,420

В "Мэйси". Ты стояла на духах

"Obsession", да?

00:09:02,670 --> 00:09:05,630

А я работал на "Арамисе"

00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:09,630

Арамис? Арамис? Арамис?

00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,470

Да, точно!

00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,050

Должен сказать тебе -

ты в этом деле лучшая

00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:15,850

- Да ну тебя!

- Я серьезно!

00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:20,480

Ты просто чудо! Знаешь, когда

брызнуть. Знаешь, когда не брызнуть

00:09:20,730 --> 00:09:25,730

Правда? Ты не представляешь,

как много это для меня значит

00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:31,030

Какой чудесный запах.

Что это на тебе сегодня?

00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,570

Ничего

00:09:42,210 --> 00:09:44,500

Послушай, может, пойдем выпьем?

00:09:45,090 --> 00:09:49,050

Да, было бы...

00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:52,210

- Что такое?

- Я вспомнила - мне нужно кое-куда.

00:09:52,210 --> 00:09:52,720

Куда?

- Что такое?

- Я вспомнила - мне нужно кое-куда.

00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,130

Куда?

00:09:56,130 --> 00:09:57,470

В другое место

00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:01,390

Подожди, подожди!

00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:10,650

"Что скрывал от тебя Марио.

От венерических заболеваний

не застрахован никто."

00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:21,410

Припев песни:

"Не стой так близко ко мне".

00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:45,270

Я так понял, вы уже все видели

00:10:45,350 --> 00:10:46,350

Видели что?

00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:51,690

Мы просто смеемся. Знаешь,

смех бывает заразным

00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:15,380

Мне теперь негде праздновать. В моей

семье меня держат за сифилитика

00:11:15,710 --> 00:11:19,630

Наш трип-клуб с гордостью

представляет...

00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,940

М-м, все вкусно, все прекрасно!

00:11:32,190 --> 00:11:37,240

Глинтвейн греется, индейка индеется,

ямс-ням-нямс...

00:11:37,490 --> 00:11:39,070

Что такое?

00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:43,410

Ну не знаю. Какой-то не такой

праздник без мамы на кухне

00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:46,290

Все, хватит. Убирайся вон

и не раздражай меня!

00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:49,620

Ну вот, уже похоже

00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:51,210

А у меня билеты! У меня билеты!

00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:55,130

Через каких-нибудь пять часов -

ш-шуп, ш-шуп, ш-шуп!

00:11:55,130 --> 00:11:55,420

Ты бы прекращала свое ш-шупанье

Через каких-нибудь пять часов -

ш-шуп, ш-шуп, ш-шуп!

00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:57,590

Ты бы прекращала свое ш-шупанье

00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:00,220

Пойду собирать вещи

00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,300

Чендлер, ты войдешь наконец?

00:12:02,550 --> 00:12:06,180

Нет, я предпочитаю держаться

на безопасном расстоянии

от всего этого праздника

00:12:06,430 --> 00:12:11,190

Берегись! Летающий тыквенный пирог!

00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:21,820

Когда ты делала это с начинкой,

было смешно, а сейчас уже нет

00:12:22,030 --> 00:12:25,620

Моника, у меня вопрос.

Я не вижу дерунчиков

00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,790

Это не вопрос

00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:30,710

Но моя мама всегда их делала.

Это традиция

00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:36,420

Кусок индейки на вилке, немножко

клюквенного соуса и дерунчики!

00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:37,840

В смысле, мне так...

00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:44,140

...нелегко, что я не могу быть

с семьей из-за своей болезни

00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,350

Ладно. Уговорил

00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,890

Сегодня картошка будет в виде

пюре с комочками...

00:12:49,140 --> 00:12:52,900

...и в виде дерунчиков

00:12:53,770 --> 00:12:57,780

Ну а я пошел поговорю со своим

нерожденным ребенком

00:12:58,650 --> 00:13:01,860

А вот мама никогда не бьется

00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,200

Ну вот, готово

00:13:07,450 --> 00:13:10,500

Фиби, ты что, потолкла картош...?

00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:12,170

Но Россу нужны комочки!

00:13:12,420 --> 00:13:14,380

Ой, извини! Я просто...

00:13:14,630 --> 00:13:19,920

Я думала потолочь ее и добавить

зеленого горошка с луком

00:13:20,170 --> 00:13:21,380

Это еще зачем?

00:13:21,630 --> 00:13:24,140

Тогда бы она получилась точно так,

как делала моя мама...

00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:27,220

...ну, знаешь, еще до своей смерти

00:13:29,390 --> 00:13:33,440

Ладно. Сегодня в программе

три вида картошки

00:13:33,690 --> 00:13:35,650

Ну все, пока, ребята!

00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,020

Спасибо за все!

00:13:37,270 --> 00:13:42,740

О боже... Извини!

Извини, пожалуйста

00:13:42,910 --> 00:13:46,620

Случилось самое невероятное на свете!

Недопес оторвался и улетел!

00:13:46,870 --> 00:13:47,990

Воздушный шар?

00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:51,710

Нет-нет, настоящий мультперсонаж

00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,080

Конечно, воздушный шар!

00:13:54,330 --> 00:13:55,790

Он во всех новостях

00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:59,880

Возле "Мэйси" он оторвался и улетел,

и его засекли над площадью Вашингтона

00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:01,760

Я бегу на крышу. Кто со мной?

00:14:02,010 --> 00:14:03,430

Я не могу. Мне надо ехать!

00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:07,220

Ты чего? 20-метровый пес парит над

городом! По-твоему, это часто бывает?

00:14:07,470 --> 00:14:09,470

Практически никогда

00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,350

- Ключи есть?

- Хорошо!

00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:20,440

Начинай, когда будешь готов!

00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:25,280

Ну все, поехали

00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:32,410

А куда мне лучше говорить?

00:14:32,660 --> 00:14:38,090

Есть только одно направление,

где акустика получше, но...

00:14:38,340 --> 00:14:41,460

Обращайся к животу, вот и все

00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:48,220

Ну ладно, начали

00:14:54,690 --> 00:14:57,730

Нет, знаешь, я не могу

00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:00,860

Слишком это странно.

Я чувствую себя по-дурацки

00:15:01,110 --> 00:15:05,400

Да все нормально. Не обязательно

разговаривать только потому,

что Сюзан так делает

00:15:05,650 --> 00:15:09,280

Привет, малыш!

00:15:10,870 --> 00:15:14,660

О боже, момент, когда мы впервые

увидели гигантскую собачью тень

над парком!

00:15:14,910 --> 00:15:19,630

Но зачем было стрелять в него?

Это было так низко.

00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:23,300

Как раз сейчас индейка уже, наверное,

такая хрустящая снаружи...

00:15:23,550 --> 00:15:26,800

...и сочная внутри

00:15:26,930 --> 00:15:28,550

А почему мы здесь стоим?

00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:32,180

Мы ждем, чтобы ты открыла дверь.

Ключи же у тебя

00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:35,100

Нет, не у меня

00:15:35,350 --> 00:15:39,400

У тебя. Когда мы уходили,

ты сказала: "Ключи есть!"

00:15:39,650 --> 00:15:41,520

Нет, не так. Я спросила...

00:15:41,770 --> 00:15:45,530

..."Ключи есть?"

00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:47,860

Нет-нет. Ты сказала: "Ключи есть!"

00:15:48,110 --> 00:15:52,450

Хоть у кого-то из вас ключи есть?

00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:53,370

Плита осталась включенной!

00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,160

А мне нужен мой билет!

00:15:55,410 --> 00:15:57,120

Стоп! У нас есть дубликат твоего ключа

00:15:57,370 --> 00:15:58,420

Так неси его!

00:15:58,670 --> 00:16:02,040

Эй-эй, от такого тона

я не побегу быстрее

00:16:02,290 --> 00:16:05,170

А от такого - да

00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:11,140

И вот все мне талдычат:

"Тебе нужно выбрать специализацию!"

00:16:11,390 --> 00:16:16,390

Я собрался с духом

и выбрал палеонтологию

00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:23,320

А тебе плевать, что я рассказываю,

потому что, по правде говоря,

ты всего лишь эмбрион

00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:27,690

Ты счастлив, что у тебя хотя бы

уже жабр нет

00:16:27,690 --> 00:16:30,450

Не обязательно разговаривать.

Можно ему петь

00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:34,910

Ради бога, не собираюсь я петь

твоему животу

00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,700

Ну, как дела?

00:16:36,950 --> 00:16:38,830

Вот и мы

00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:40,960

Мы по улице идем

00:16:41,210 --> 00:16:45,170

Веселим всех прохожих,

потому что поем

00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:52,890

- Ты почувствовала?

- Да.

00:16:53,140 --> 00:16:55,390

- А он так всегда...?

- Нет-нет, это в первый раз!

00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,100

Пой дальше! Давай пой!

00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,940

Эй-эй, мой малыш

00:17:01,190 --> 00:17:03,440

Счастлив я, что ты там спишь

00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:08,280

Ты получишь от папы конфеты,

Я куплю в зоопарк нам билеты

00:17:08,530 --> 00:17:10,240

Теперь и я почувствовала!

00:17:10,490 --> 00:17:11,860

Эй-эй, здесь твой папка

00:17:12,110 --> 00:17:16,490

У которого сисек нет

00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,160

Нет, не подходит

00:17:20,410 --> 00:17:22,080

А нельзя ли побыстрее?

00:17:22,330 --> 00:17:26,420

У меня тут один замок и

сто тыщ ключей! Считай сама

00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:29,590

Зачем вам вообще столько ключей?

00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:33,300

Для таких вот срочных случаев

00:17:33,550 --> 00:17:36,100

Знаешь что, шут гороховый?

00:17:36,350 --> 00:17:38,350

Если бы не твой идиотский пес...

00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:44,940

...мне бы стюардесса прямо сейчас

показывала выход. А вот дудки!

00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:47,190

Клянусь, ты сказала, что у тебя есть ключи!

00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:50,150

Я бы не сказала, что у меня есть ключи,

если бы у меня не было ключей!

00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,320

А у меня, очевидно, не было ключей!

00:17:52,570 --> 00:17:57,160

Все, хватит про ключи.

Вообще забудьте слово "ключи"!

00:17:58,290 --> 00:18:01,040

С какой стати у меня

должны были быть ключи?

00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:03,250

Кроме того факта, что

ты сама это сказала?

00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,750

- Но у меня их не было!

- А надо было, чтобы были.

00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,170

- Почему?

- Потому!

00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,550

Потому что я должна отвечать за все?

00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,260

Вам мало, что я готовлю

праздничный ужин?

00:18:12,510 --> 00:18:16,600

Каждый хочет свою картошечку,

и я готовлю ему его картошечку

00:18:16,850 --> 00:18:22,390

А кому-нибудь интересно, какую

картошечку хочу я? Не-ет!

00:18:23,810 --> 00:18:26,730

Нет, видите ли, Фиби хочет

с горошком и луком...

00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:29,190

...а Марио хочет дерунчики

00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,780

Это мой первый День Благодарения

как хозяйки...

00:18:32,030 --> 00:18:37,320

А все сгорело, и я не, я не...

00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,580

Моника, твои ультразвуки

уже слышат только собаки

00:18:40,830 --> 00:18:44,920

- Все, дверь открыта! Заходим.

- О боже!

00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,960

Так! Индейка сгорела!

00:18:52,210 --> 00:18:56,680

Картошка пропала! Картошка

пропала! Картошка пропала!

00:19:03,020 --> 00:19:06,810

Пахнет не как у мамы

00:19:07,270 --> 00:19:09,770

Правда? Ты уверен?

Ты у нас хотел комочков?

00:19:10,020 --> 00:19:13,780

Ну так вот тебе, дружище.

Получай комочек!

00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:16,070

Боже, какое счастье!

00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,580

Самолет улетел, так что, кажется,

я остаюсь с вами, ребята

00:19:19,830 --> 00:19:23,790

У нас у всех были планы! Никто

не собирался торчать здесь!

00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:25,080

Да ну?

00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:29,330

Тогда чего ради я рвала жопу,

чтобы приготовить роскошный ужин?

00:19:29,590 --> 00:19:32,210

Ты это называешь роскошным?

00:19:34,210 --> 00:19:36,550

Прекратите! Хватит! Заткнитесь!

00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:40,550

Вот теперь я чувствую

атмосферу праздника

00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,280

Что?

00:19:55,530 --> 00:20:00,570

Гадкий Голый Дядька

вынимает индейку из духовки

00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,750

О господи! Он не один

00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,120

У Гадкого Голого Дядьки...

00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:10,880

...праздничный ужин

с Гадкой Голой Теткой

00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:14,590

Это надо видеть!

00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:18,680

Так держать, Гадкий Голый Дядька!

00:20:18,930 --> 00:20:22,010

Гадкие голые танцы!

00:20:22,260 --> 00:20:26,180

Как хорошо, что у него кто-то есть

00:20:35,570 --> 00:20:37,440

Порезать главное блюдо?

00:20:37,690 --> 00:20:40,320

Ждем - не дождемся

00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:48,830

Кто желает светлый сыр,

а кто - темный?

00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,420

Даже знать не хочу,

что это за темный сыр такой

00:20:52,670 --> 00:20:55,170

- Кто-нибудь хочет разломать?

- Я хочу.

00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:57,670

Вы должны загадать желание

00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:58,800

Желание?

00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:02,760

Конечно, День Благодарения все-таки

00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:09,140

Тебе досталась большая половина!

Что ты загадывал?

00:21:09,390 --> 00:21:12,770

Большую половину

00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,070

Так, я бы хотел предложить тост

00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,690

У меня маленький тост. Дзынь-дзынь!

00:21:18,940 --> 00:21:21,820

Это не совсем такой День Благодарения,

как мы планировали...

00:21:22,070 --> 00:21:25,870

...но для меня он оказался

потрясающим

00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:29,540

Мне кажется, это потому,

что обошлось без развода...

00:21:29,790 --> 00:21:33,000

...и дальнобойного блевания

00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:35,540

Если бы ты поехала в Вэйл...

00:21:35,790 --> 00:21:39,970

...и если бы вы поехали к своим,

а у тебя не оказалось бы...

00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:43,090

...сифилиса...

00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:45,800

...мы не собрались бы все вместе

00:21:46,060 --> 00:21:48,680

Поэтому я хочу сказать следующее:

00:21:48,930 --> 00:21:54,730

Я очень благодарен всем за то,

что их День Благодарения провалился

00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:59,690

- Как мило!

- Спасибо тебе.

00:22:00,490 --> 00:22:02,530

Так выпьем за вшивое Рождество!

00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:06,370

И за дерьмовый Новый Год!

00:22:20,630 --> 00:22:22,510

"Недержание мочи?"

00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,640

"Насилие в семье?"

00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:29,930

"Геморрой?"

00:22:32,020 --> 00:22:33,890

"Лауреат трех премий Тони"

00:22:40,070 --> 00:22:42,150

Перевод В.Бродового