Эпизод с дюжиной лазаний

00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:18,976

[CHANDLER JOINS IN]

00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,692

[MONICA & PHOEBE JOIN IN]

00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,057

[SINGING THEME FROM

I DREAM OF JEANNIE]

00:00:58,224 --> 00:00:59,975

No, no, we're done. We're done, man.

00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,777

Aunt Silv, stop yelling.

00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,571

All I'm saying is,

if you had told me vegetarian lasagna...

00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:57,366

...I would've made vegetarian lasagna.

00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,911

Well, the meat's only every third layer.

00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,080

Maybe you could scrape.

00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:05,916

Ross, did you really read

all these baby books?

00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:09,586

Yep. You could plunk me down in

the middle of any woman's uterus...

00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:11,713

...no compass...

00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:13,882

...and I could find my way out like that.

00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:16,593

Ooh, this is cool.

00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:20,222

It says in some parts of the world

people actually eat the placenta.

00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,977

And we're done with the yogurt.

00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:27,729

Sorry.

00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:31,984

Aunt Silv, I did this as a favor.

I am not a caterer.

00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,279

What do you want me to do

with a dozen lasagnas?

00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:38,574

Nice talk, Aunt Silv.

00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:40,868

You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?

00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,121

Hey, Ross, listen.

00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:47,332

Do you know that right now

your baby is only this big?

00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,959

- This is your baby.

- Heh.

00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,502

[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]

Hi, Daddy.

00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,962

Hello.

00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,714

How come you don't live with Mommy?

00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:58,343

How come Mommy lives

with that other lady?

00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:06,185

What's a lesbian?

00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,607

[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:14,568

Honey, you can say it.

It's Poconos. Poconos.

00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:18,197

It's like "poke a nose."

00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:19,823

Ah.

00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:23,160

Poke a nose.

00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:27,414

[IN UNISON]

Blah, blah, blah.

00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:34,254

- So did I hear "Poconos"?

- Yes.

00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:36,673

My sister's giving us her place

for the weekend.

00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:39,343

Woo-hoo. First weekend away together.

00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:42,012

- Yeah, it's a big step.

RACHEL: I know.

00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,431

It's just a weekend. Big deal.

00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,434

Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling,

huh?

00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,519

Shouldn't it be...

00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:51,396

...flung by now?

00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,274

I mean, we are way past the "fling" thing.

00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,235

I'm feeling things

I've only read about...

00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,237

...in Danielle Steel books, you know?

00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:01,448

I mean, when I'm with him,

I'm just totally, totally...

00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:04,368

Nauseous. I'm physically nauseous.

00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:08,664

What am I supposed to do, huh?

Call lmmigration?

00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,625

I could call lmmigration.

00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:21,718

I love babies

with their little baby shoes...

00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:26,014

...and their little baby toes

and their little hands...

00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:28,308

Okay, you're gonna have to stop that...

00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:29,685

...forever.

00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:36,566

[CLEARS THROAT]

00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,613

Need a new table.

00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,448

You think?

00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,871

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,958

CAROL: Hey, hey, hey. Come on in.

- Hey. Hello.

00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,710

I brought the books...

00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:57,254

...and Monica sends her love

along with this lasagna.

00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,006

Oh, great.

00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:02,509

Is it vegetarian?

Because Susan doesn't eat meat.

00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:07,347

I'm pretty sure that it is. Yeah.

00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:11,810

So I got the results of the amnio today.

00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,312

Oh, tell me. Is everything?

00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:14,938

Totally and completely healthy.

00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:17,691

- Oh, that's great. That is great.

- Ha, ha.

00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:20,319

Ah.

00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:25,365

Hey. When did you and Susan

meet Huey Lewis?

00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,993

Uh, that's our friend Tanya.

00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,963

Of course it's your friend Tanya.

00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,717

Don't you wanna know about the sex?

00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,094

The sex?

00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:51,683

Yeah, I'm having enough trouble with

the image of you and Susan together.

00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,477

But when you throw in Tanya...

00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:54,853

[GROANS]

00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,441

The sex of the baby, Ross.

00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:02,778

Oh. You know the sex of the baby?

00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:04,488

- Uh-huh.

- Oh, oh, oh!

00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,990

- Do you want to know?

- No, no, no.

00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,368

No, I don't want to know.

Absolutely not.

00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:12,287

No, I think you shouldn't know until

you look down there...

00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,498

...and see, "Oh, there it is."

00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,750

Or isn't.

00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:21,797

- Oh. Hello, Ross.

- Susan.

00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:23,507

So?

00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:25,008

So did you hear?

00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,302

Yes, we did. Everything's A-okay.

00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,305

Oh, that's so cool.

00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:32,933

CAROL:

It really is. Ha, ha.

00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,309

Do we know?

00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:37,229

- We certainly do. It's going to be a...

- Hey, hey!

00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,939

Ho, ho! Hello?

00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,691

See, a guy who doesn't wanna know

standing right here.

00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:46,822

Oh. Ha, ha. Uh, well, is it what

we thought it would be?

00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,241

- Mm-hm.

- Aah!

00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,080

What?

00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:58,417

Okay, what did we think it' was gonna be?

No, no, no.

00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,794

I don't want to know.

Don't want to know. Okay.

00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,921

You know, I should probably just go.

00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:06,591

- Well, thanks for the books.

- No problem. Okay.

00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,304

Susan.

00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:21,064

All right, who should we call first?

Your folks or Deb and Rhona?

00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,315

[DOOR BUZZER]

00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,027

Hello?

00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,612

ROSS [OVER INTERCOM]:

Uh...

00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:30,782

Never mind. I don't wanna know.

00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:35,036

Okay, so just because it was my table,

I have to buy a new one?

00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,955

That's the rule.

00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,833

What rule? There's no rule.

00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,543

If anything, you owe me a table.

00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:45,088

- How did you get there?

- I believe this piece of furniture was fine...

00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:47,966

...until your little breakfast adventure

with Angela Delveccio.

00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:49,926

You knew about that?

00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:51,761

The impressions you made

in the butter...

00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:53,680

...left little to the imagination.

00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,100

Okay, okay. How about if we split it?

00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:00,187

What do you mean, like, buy it together?

00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:01,605

Yeah.

00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:03,982

Do you think we're ready

for something like that?

00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,110

- Why not?

- Well, it's just a big commitment.

00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,821

I mean, what if one of us

wants to move out?

00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:12,157

- Why, are you moving out?

- I'm not moving out.

00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,409

You'd tell me if you were moving out,

right?

00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:19,372

- Yes, it's just that, with my last roommate...

- Oh, I know all about Kip.

00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:22,417

We bought a hibachi together,

and then he ran off and got married...

00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:23,877

...and things got pretty ugly.

00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,005

So let me ask you something.

00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:28,798

Was Kip a better roommate than me?

00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,551

Oh, don't do that.

00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,809

You've got a couple changes

in your schedule.

00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:43,396

Your 4:00 herbal massage

has been pushed back to 4:30.

00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:46,566

And Ms. Summerfield

canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.

00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:48,026

Okay. Thanks.

00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,237

Oh. Here comes your 3:00.

00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:53,240

I don't mean to sound

unprofessional, but, yum.

00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,452

[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

00:08:57,745 --> 00:09:01,331

Oh. Paolo. Hi.

What are you doing here?

00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:07,379

Uh, Rachella tell me you...

00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,880

...massage?

00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,716

Yeah, well, Rachella's right. Yeah.

00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,010

[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:16,972

Oh.

00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:19,766

Okay, I don't know what you just said,

so let's just start.

00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:24,271

Uh, I am, uh...

00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:26,523

...being naked?

00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,108

Um, that's really your decision.

00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:31,236

I mean, some people prefer,

you know, to take off...

00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,364

Ooh, oops! Being naked.

00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:38,618

I can't believe you don't want to know.

I mean, I could not know.

00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:42,372

I mean, if the doctor knows,

and Carol knows, and Susan knows...

00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,416

And Monica knows.

00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,002

Heh. How could you?

I don't even know.

00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:51,131

Carol called to thank me for the lasagna.

I asked. She told me.

00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,757

So, what's it going to be?

00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,301

Whoa.

00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,804

Huh? Oh, great.

Now he knows and I don't know.

00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:00,473

I'm sorry. I'm just excited

about being an aunt.

00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:02,392

Or an uncle.

00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,566

GROUP:

Hey, Phoebe. Hey, Pheebs.

00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,234

Fine.

00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,072

- Phoebe, what's the matter?

- Nothing. I'm sorry.

00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,074

I'm just... I'm out of sorts.

00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:20,410

Hey, can we get

some cappuccino over here?

00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,872

Oh, right. That's me.

00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:28,418

Hey, Chandler.

That table place closes at 7. Come on.

00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:29,753

Fine.

00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:33,131

Phoebe. What is it?

00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:38,053

- You know Paolo?

- I'm familiar with his work, yes.

00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:40,513

Look, he made a move on me.

00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:43,767

- Whoa. The store will be open tomorrow.

- More coffee over here, please.

00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:52,275

Well, what happened?

00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,319

Well, he came in for a massage...

00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,446

...and everything was fine until...

00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,034

[GROUP GROANING]

00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,494

- My God.

- Are you sure?

00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,413

Oh, yeah. I'm sure.

00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:14,005

And all of a sudden, his hands

weren't the problem anymore.

00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,427

Was it?

00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:22,097

Oh, Boy Scouts

could've camped under there.

00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:23,765

GROUP:

Ooh.

00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,768

- "Ooh," what?

- Ma Thurman.

00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,103

- Oh.

- The actress.

00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,063

Uma Thurman!

00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,732

Thanks, Rach.

00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,611

- What are you gonna you do?

- You have to tell her.

00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,531

You have to tell her.

It's your moral obligation as a friend...

00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:43,076

...as a woman. I think it's a feminist issue.

Guys? Guys?

00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,120

Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.

00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:46,788

Feminist issue? That's where I went.

00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,083

She is gonna hate me.

00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:51,710

Yeah, well.

00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,428

Will you pick one? Just pick one.

00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:02,929

Here, how about that one?

00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:05,682

That's patio furniture.

00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:10,645

So what? Like people are gonna come in

and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again."

00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:12,105

Fine.

00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,232

What about the birds?

00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:17,360

I don't know. Birds just don't say:

00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:20,196

"Hello, sit here. Eat something."

00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,782

You pick one.

00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,325

How about the ladybugs?

00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:28,705

Oh, so forget about the birds,

but big red insects suggest fine dining?

00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,207

Fine. Do you want the birds?

Get the birds.

00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:33,251

Not like that, I won't.

00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:37,839

Kip would've liked the birds.

00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,518

- Hey.

- Hi, Pheebs.

00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:51,978

Are you moving out?

00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,189

No, these aren't all of my suitcases.

00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:56,107

This one's Paolo's.

00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,734

Um...

00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,571

Um, Rachel, can we talk for a sec?

00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,365

Well, sure. Just for a sec, though...

00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:06,785

...because Paolo's on his way over.

- Oh.

00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,954

Okay. Um...

00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:11,956

Okay.

00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:13,416

Um...

00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:15,585

- Oh, Pheebs...

- Um, okay.

00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:21,174

Um, ahem. We haven't known each other

for that long a time.

00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:24,177

And, um, there are three things

that you should know about me.

00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,764

One, my friends are the most

important thing in my life.

00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:31,351

Two, I never lie.

00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:35,480

And three, I make the best

oatmeal-raisin cookies in the world.

00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:41,110

Okay. Thanks, Pheebs.

00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,992

Mm, my God.

00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:51,329

Why have I never tasted these before?

00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:52,789

Oh, I don't make them a lot...

00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:55,416

...because I don't think it's fair

to the other cookies.

00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:00,922

Ahem, God.

00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:05,635

Well, you're right. These are the best

oatmeal-raisin cookies I've ever had.

00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:09,556

- Which proves that I never lie.

- I guess you don't.

00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,307

Paolo made a pass at me.

00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:16,354

So, what do you think?

00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,773

I think it's the most beautiful table

I've ever seen.

00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,400

I know.

00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:23,611

So how does this work? Gonna balance

the plates on these little heads?

00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:26,197

Who cares? We'll eat at the sink.

Come on.

00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:29,617

Heads up, Ross.

00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:32,662

Score! You suck.

00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:37,500

Are you okay?

00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:41,462

I need some milk.

00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:45,633

I've got milk.

00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,056

Here you go.

00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:01,733

Better?

00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:04,861

No.

00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:09,782

Ugh! I feel so stupid.

00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:12,201

I think about the other day,

with you guys, you know.

00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:16,164

And I was all,

"Oh, Paolo. He's so great.

00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:18,625

He makes me feel so..." Ugh!

00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,376

God.

00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:24,255

I'm so embarrassed.

00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:25,840

I'm the one he hit on.

00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,134

I unleashed him on you.

If I'd never met him...

00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,719

...this would've never happened.

00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,013

- I'm so sorry.

- No, I'm sorry.

00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:33,431

BOTH:

No, I'm sorry.

00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:34,974

Oh, wait. Oh.

00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:37,393

- What are we sorry about?

- I don't know.

00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,604

Right. He's the pig.

00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,482

- Such a pig.

- Oh, God, he's such a pig.

00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:46,235

- Oh, he's like a big disgusting pig...

- Yeah, like a...

00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:48,738

- Pig man.

- Yes, good. Okay.

00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,995

Oh, but he was my pig man.

00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,832

How did I not see this?

00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,794

Oh, I know!

00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,881

Because...

00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,925

...he's gorgeous.

00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,760

And he's charming.

00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,554

- And when he looks at you...

- Okay. Okay, Pheebs.

00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,223

The end.

00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,935

Ugh. God.

00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,939

Should I not have told you?

00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:26,943

No, trust me,

it's much better that I know.

00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:34,450

Uh, I just liked it better before.

It was better.

00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:52,176

I think she took it pretty well.

00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:54,887

You know, Paolo's over there

right now, so...

00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:57,348

Yeah, we should get over there

and see if she's okay.

00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,517

Just one second.

00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,603

- Whoo! Score.

- Game. Us.

00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,022

Yes.

00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:06,899

Come on, Pheebs.

00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,234

Whoo.

00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:11,279

Well, it looks like, uh,

we kicked your butts.

00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,697

No, no. She kicked our butts.

00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,491

You could be on the Olympic

"Standing There" team.

00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,160

Come on. Two on one.

00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:20,079

What are you still doing here?

She just broke up with the guy.

00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:21,581

It's time for you to swoop in.

00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,500

What? Now?

00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,294

Yes. Now is when you swoop.

00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,296

You gotta make sure

that when Paolo walks out...

00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:30,173

...the first guy Rachel sees is you.

00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:32,842

She's got to know

that you're everything he's not.

00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,969

You're like... Like the anti-Paolo.

00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:38,681

My Catholic friend is right.

00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,350

She's distraught. You're there for her.

00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:44,729

You pick up the pieces,

and then you usher in:

00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,273

The Age of Ross.

00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,280

[PAOLO SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:55,448

RACHEL:

See this? See?

00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,116

[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:02,246

- How's it going?

MONICA: Don't stare.

00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,874

She just finished throwing

his clothes off the balcony.

00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,376

Now there's just a lot of gesturing

and arm-waving.

00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:11,214

Okay, that is either, "How could you?"

Or "Enormous breasts."

00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,675

Here he comes.

00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:27,313

Uh, I am, uh...

00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:28,773

...to say goodbye.

00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:30,983

Oh, okay, bye-bye.

00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:35,696

Paolo.

00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:39,283

I really hate you for what you did to Rachel.

But I still have five of these...

00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,453

...so heat it at 375

until the cheese bubbles.

00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:45,998

[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:48,918

Paolo, I just wanna tell you...

00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:53,005

...and I think I'd speak

for everyone when I say...

00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,847

PHOEBE:

Oh. Just look at her.

00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:04,016

Oh, you guys, I really think only one of us

should go out there...

00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:06,060

...so she's not overwhelmed.

- Oh, right.

00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:08,938

And I really think it should be me.

00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:23,828

BOTH:

Hey.

00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:26,998

You all right?

00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:30,585

Oh. I've been better.

00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,588

[SIGHS]

00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:35,631

Come here.

00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,265

Listen...

00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,893

...you deserve so much better than him.

00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:49,645

You know? I mean, you...

00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:53,983

You should be with a guy who knows

what he has when he has you.

00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:56,944

Ross...

00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,238

What?

00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:02,617

I'm so sick of guys.

00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:05,411

I don't want to look at another guy.

00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,914

I don't want to think about another guy.

00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:11,292

I don't even want to be near another guy.

00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,877

[RACHEL SIGHS]

00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:15,963

Huh.

00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:21,886

- Ross, you're so great.

- Oh, ha, ha.

00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:34,857

MONICA: Are you all right?

PHOEBE: Are you okay?

00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,692

Medium. Heh.

00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:39,362

- Any cookies left?

- Yeah.

00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:43,115

Heh. See, Rach, um...

00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:47,703

See, I don't think swearing off guys

altogether is the answer. I really don't.

00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:52,625

I think what you need is to develop a more

sophisticated screening process.

00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:56,796

No. No. I just need

to be by myself for a while.

00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,839

You know?

I just gotta figure out what I want.

00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:01,175

No, no.

00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:05,680

See, because not all guys out there

are gonna be a Paolo.

00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:07,723

No, I know. I know.

00:21:07,891 --> 00:21:11,686

And I'm sure your little boy's

not gonna grow up to be one.

00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:15,106

- What?

- What?

00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:19,068

[STAMMERING]

I'm having a boy?

00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:20,861

Uh, no.

00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:25,866

No. In fact, you're not having a boy.

00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:28,119

I'm having a boy.

00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,746

[STAMMERING]

Am I having a boy?

00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,791

- You're having a boy.

- Aah!

00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,502

- I'm having a boy. I'm having a boy.

- Yes!

00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:37,795

- What?

- What is it?

00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:40,339

I'm having a boy. I'm having a boy.

00:21:40,507 --> 00:21:41,966

Hey.

00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:45,970

[IN UNISON]

We already knew that.

00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,891

I'm having a son.

00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:54,937

Um...

00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:01,652

Yes. And that would be a shutdown.

00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:03,112

[IN UNISON]

Shutout!

00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:09,118

Where you guys going?

Come on, one more game.

00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:12,621

- Oh. It's 2:30 in the morning.

- Yeah. Get out.

00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:16,000

You guys are always hanging out

in my apartment.

00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,711

Come on, I'll only use my left hand,

huh?

00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:20,963

Come on, wussies.

00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,386

- All right. Okay. I gotta go.

- Mm-hm.

00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:28,971

I'm going.

00:22:29,139 --> 00:22:30,931

And I'm gone.

00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:35,186

- One more game?

- Oh, yeah.

00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:44,153

[English - US - SDH]

00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:05,430

1-й сезон, 12-я серия

"Лазаньи"

00:01:49,390 --> 00:01:51,770

Тетя Сильвия, хватит орать!

00:01:52,020 --> 00:01:54,810

Если бы вы заказали

вегетарианскую лазанью...

00:01:55,060 --> 00:01:58,820

...я бы и сделала

вегетарианскую лазанью

00:01:59,070 --> 00:02:00,900

Мясо там только

в каждом третьем слое

00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:03,410

Вы могли бы его соскрести

00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:06,620

Росс, ты правда читал

все эти книжки про детей?

00:02:06,870 --> 00:02:11,580

Ага. Если хочешь, закинь меня в матку

любой женщины, без компаса...

00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:15,130

...и я выберусь оттуда только так!

00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:16,460

А вот интересно

00:02:16,710 --> 00:02:21,760

В некоторых странах мира

есть обычай съедать плаценту

00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,430

Ну вот, покушали йогурту

00:02:26,890 --> 00:02:28,180

Извини

00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:31,810

Тетя Сильвия, я сделала вам одолжение.

Я к вам не нанималась

00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:35,940

Куда мне, по-вашему, девать

целых двенадцать лазаний?

00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:38,770

Остро сказано, тетя Сильвия

00:02:39,020 --> 00:02:42,400

А потом вы этими же губами

дядю Фредди целуете?

00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:44,110

Эй, Росс, слушай

00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,320

Ты знаешь, что твой ребенок

сейчас вот такусенький?

00:02:47,570 --> 00:02:50,240

Это твой ребенок. "Привет, папка!"

00:02:50,490 --> 00:02:51,870

Привет

00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:55,250

"А почему ты не живешь с мамой?"

00:02:56,330 --> 00:02:59,880

"Почему мама живет

с той другой тетенькой?"

00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:07,390

"И что такое лесбиянка?"

00:03:11,390 --> 00:03:14,310

Милый, ты сможешь это сказать.

Поконос. Поконос.

00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:19,650

Совсем как "пык" в нос

00:03:20,020 --> 00:03:24,610

"Пык" в нос

00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:34,120

Так здесь прозвучало "Поконос"?

00:03:34,370 --> 00:03:37,790

Да, моя сестра дает нам свою дачу

на выходные

00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,290

Первые выходные вместе

00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:42,670

- Да, это большой шаг.

- Ага.

00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:44,380

Просто выходные. Большое дело

00:03:44,630 --> 00:03:47,300

Разве все это не задумывалось

как легкий флирт?

00:03:47,550 --> 00:03:49,470

Не слишком ли он...

00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:51,890

...потяжелел?

00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:53,970

У нас уже давно не просто флирт

00:03:54,220 --> 00:03:58,100

Я чувствую такое, о чем только

читала в женских романах

00:03:58,350 --> 00:04:01,440

Когда я с ним, я такая, такая...

00:04:01,690 --> 00:04:05,190

Тошнотворная.

Меня физически тошнит

00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:09,570

Что мне делать? Позвонить

в иммиграционную службу?

00:04:09,820 --> 00:04:13,160

А кстати, можно было бы

00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:21,670

Обожаю деток,

эти их маленькие ножки...

00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,920

...и маленькие пальчики,

и крохотные ручки...

00:04:26,170 --> 00:04:28,300

Тебе придется это прекратить...

00:04:28,550 --> 00:04:31,010

...навсегда

00:04:39,770 --> 00:04:41,730

Нам нужен новый стол

00:04:41,980 --> 00:04:44,690

Ты думаешь?

00:04:50,530 --> 00:04:52,910

- Привет. Проходи.

- Привет.

00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,620

Я тут принес книги...

00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:57,580

...а Моника передает привет

вместе с этой лазаньей

00:04:57,830 --> 00:04:59,210

Отлично!

00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:04,090

А она вегетарианская?

А то Сюзан не ест мяса

00:05:04,670 --> 00:05:08,470

Уверен, что вегетарианская

00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,760

Я сегодня получила результаты

анализов

00:05:12,010 --> 00:05:13,260

Ну, говори. Всё...?

00:05:13,510 --> 00:05:14,890

Совершенно, стопроцентно здоровы

00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:19,100

Замечательно! Отлично!

00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:25,690

Ого! У вас с Сюзан есть

знакомый борец сумо?

00:05:25,940 --> 00:05:29,530

Это наша подруга Таня

00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:41,420

Точно, как я не догадался

00:05:42,290 --> 00:05:44,290

А тебя не интересует половой вопрос?

00:05:44,540 --> 00:05:47,340

Половой вопрос?

00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:51,550

Как подумаю о вас с Сюзан,

мне и то неловко

00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:55,720

А тут еще и Таня... Мама родная!

00:05:57,010 --> 00:06:00,600

Пол ребенка, Росс

00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:04,310

Ты знаешь пол ребенка?

00:06:05,150 --> 00:06:06,860

А ты хочешь знать?

00:06:07,110 --> 00:06:09,280

Я не хочу знать. Совершенно

00:06:09,530 --> 00:06:12,320

Я думаю, знать не нужно,

пока не посмотришь вниз...

00:06:12,570 --> 00:06:14,950

...и не скажешь:

"Ой, вот же он..."

00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,120

...или нет его

00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:21,790

- Привет, Росс.

- Сюзан.

00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,500

Ну?

00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:24,960

Ты узнала?

00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,250

Да, мы узнали.

Все идет отлично

00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:31,170

Как здорово!

00:06:31,420 --> 00:06:33,050

Правда, здорово

00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:34,300

И мы знаем?

00:06:34,550 --> 00:06:37,600

Мы знаем точно. Это будет...

00:06:37,850 --> 00:06:38,890

Аллё?

00:06:39,140 --> 00:06:43,230

Здесь стоит человек,

который не хочет знать

00:06:43,730 --> 00:06:48,400

Ну, это то, что мы и предполагали?

00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:55,320

Что...?

00:06:55,570 --> 00:06:58,410

А что мы предполагали?

00:06:58,490 --> 00:07:00,790

Нет-нет, я не хочу знать.

Знать не хочу

00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,210

Пожалуй, мне стоит просто уйти

00:07:03,460 --> 00:07:07,130

- Ну... спасибо за книги.

- Не за что.

00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,840

Сюзан

00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:22,680

Ну что, кому мы позвоним первыми?

Твоим или Деборе с Роной?

00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,650

Да нет, ничего. Не хочу я знать

00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:35,030

Из-за того, что это был мой стол,

теперь я должен покупать новый?

00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,660

Такие правила

00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:39,830

Какие правила? Нет никаких правил

00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,660

А если есть,

тогда ты должен мне стол

00:07:41,910 --> 00:07:42,700

Как это так получается?

00:07:42,950 --> 00:07:44,870

По-моему, этот предмет мебели

был целым...

00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:48,580

...до твоего бурного завтрака

с Анджелой Дельвеккио

00:07:48,830 --> 00:07:49,880

Так ты знал об этом?

00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:55,260

Следы, которые ты наляпал маслом,

не оставляли места воображению

00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:57,930

Ладно, что если нам скинуться?

00:07:58,180 --> 00:08:01,720

То есть в смысле купить его вместе?

00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,560

Ты думаешь, мы готовы

к подобному шагу?

00:08:04,810 --> 00:08:05,640

Почему бы и нет?

00:08:05,890 --> 00:08:09,860

Это же такая ответственность.

Что если кто-то из нас выедет?

00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:12,150

- Ты выезжаешь?

- Я не выезжаю.

00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,320

Ты бы сказал мне, если бы выезжал?

00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:19,320

- Да. Просто мой последний сосед...

- Помню я этого Кипа.

00:08:19,570 --> 00:08:22,700

Мы вместе купили мангал,

а потом он женился и уехал...

00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:24,660

...и получилось некрасиво

00:08:24,910 --> 00:08:26,960

Можно задать тебе вопрос?

00:08:27,210 --> 00:08:29,540

Кип был лучшим соседом, чем я?

00:08:29,790 --> 00:08:32,170

Не надо начинать об этом

00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,890

У тебя в расписании пара изменений

00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:43,310

Массаж с травами перенесли

с 4:00 на 4:30

00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:46,520

А миссис Саммерфилд отменила

сеанс шиацу в 5:30

00:08:46,770 --> 00:08:48,640

Спасибо

00:08:48,890 --> 00:08:50,190

А вот твой трехчасовой сеанс

00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:54,780

Это прозвучит непрофессионально,

но... Ням-ням!

00:08:58,490 --> 00:09:02,870

Паоло! Привет!

Как ты здесь оказался?

00:09:03,450 --> 00:09:07,370

Ракелла сказала мне, что ты...

00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:08,830

...массажэ?

00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:12,920

Здесь Ракелла права

00:09:17,670 --> 00:09:21,300

Не понимаю, что ты сказал,

поэтому просто начнем

00:09:22,430 --> 00:09:24,300

Я есть...

00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,560

...раздеться голый

00:09:26,810 --> 00:09:28,060

Это тебе решать

00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:32,150

Некоторые снимают только...

00:09:32,690 --> 00:09:35,020

Раздеться голый!

00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:38,490

Как ты можешь не хотеть знать?

Я бы не смогла не знать

00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:42,360

Если врач знает, и Кэрол знает,

и Сюзан знает...

00:09:42,610 --> 00:09:45,030

И Моника знает

00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:46,990

Как ты могла? Даже я не знаю

00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,120

Кэрол звонила сказать спасибо

за лазанью

00:09:49,370 --> 00:09:51,000

Я спросила. Она ответила

00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:54,290

Так какой будет пол?

00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,760

Прекрасно. Теперь он знает,

а я нет

00:09:58,010 --> 00:10:00,340

Извини. Я так радуюсь,

что стану теткой

00:10:00,590 --> 00:10:03,340

Или дядькой

00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,480

- Привет, Фиби!

- Привет, Фибс!

00:10:09,730 --> 00:10:12,100

Я поняла!

00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:14,810

Фиби, в чем дело?

00:10:15,060 --> 00:10:18,070

Ничего! Извините.

Я просто не в себе

00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,950

Эй, можно нам сюда капучино?

00:10:22,030 --> 00:10:25,240

А, ну да! Это меня!

00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,330

Эй, Чендлер, мебельный

работает до семи. Идем

00:10:28,580 --> 00:10:31,290

Пошли

00:10:31,580 --> 00:10:34,210

Фиби, в чем дело?

00:10:34,380 --> 00:10:35,250

Знаешь Паоло?

00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:39,000

Да, я знаком с его трудами

00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:40,680

Он ко мне приставал

00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:41,050

- Кстати, магазин работает и завтра.

- Еще кофе, пожалуйста.

Он ко мне приставал

00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:44,720

- Кстати, магазин работает и завтра.

- Еще кофе, пожалуйста.

00:10:50,690 --> 00:10:52,020

Как было дело?

00:10:52,270 --> 00:10:54,020

Он пришел ко мне на массаж...

00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:57,820

И все было нормально, пока...

00:11:00,650 --> 00:11:01,490

Вот это да!

00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:03,780

Ты уверена?

00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,950

О да. Вполне уверена

00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:15,710

И внезапно его руки перестали

быть главной проблемой

00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:19,220

А он был...?

00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:23,640

Да под ним бойскауты могли бы

лагерь поставить

00:11:24,220 --> 00:11:25,770

"Ууу" что?

00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:27,060

- Ма Турман.

00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:30,560

- Актриса!

- Ума Турман!

00:11:30,810 --> 00:11:33,190

Спасибо, Рэйч

00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,650

- Что будешь делать?

- Надо ей сказать.

00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:39,400

Необходимо! Это твой моральный

долг как подруги...

00:11:39,650 --> 00:11:41,320

...и как женщины.

Тут затронут феминизм

00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:43,160

Да, ребята?

00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:45,160

Да, надо ей сказать

00:11:45,410 --> 00:11:48,330

Феминизм? Как раз к этому я и вел

00:11:48,830 --> 00:11:51,620

- Она меня возненавидит!

- Ну что ж.

00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,340

Выбери уже! Хоть какой-нибудь

00:12:01,590 --> 00:12:03,430

Вот, например, можно этот!

00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,930

Это мебель для патио

00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:06,970

Ну и что?

00:12:07,220 --> 00:12:10,600

Как будто кто-то зайдет и подумает:

"Ой, я опять вышел во двор."

00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:12,270

Ладно

00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,400

Может, с птичками?

00:12:15,650 --> 00:12:17,190

Не знаю. Птички не говорят...

00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:21,030

..."Привет, садись, угощайся."

00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:22,780

Выбирай сам

00:12:23,030 --> 00:12:24,370

Может, с божьими коровками?

00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:28,700

Значит, птички - отказать, а большие

красные жуки возбуждают аппетит?

00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:31,160

Ладно! Хочешь птичек? Бери птичек!

00:12:31,410 --> 00:12:34,750

Нет, так они мне не нужны

00:12:36,540 --> 00:12:39,380

А Кипу бы птички понравились

00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:50,770

Привет, Фибс

00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:51,980

Ты выезжаешь?

00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,270

Нет, эти чемоданы - не все мои

00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,480

Этот - Паоло

00:12:59,730 --> 00:13:02,650

Рэйчел, можно с тобой поговорить?

00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:03,700

Конечно

00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:07,910

Только быстро, Паоло уже едет

00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:21,880

Мы друг друга не так давно знаем

00:13:22,130 --> 00:13:24,470

Тебе надо знать обо мне три вещи

00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:28,930

Первое: друзья для меня -

самое главное в жизни

00:13:29,180 --> 00:13:31,560

Второе: я никогда не вру

00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:37,020

И третье: я делаю лучшее в мире

овсяное печенье с изюмом

00:13:40,190 --> 00:13:42,650

Спасибо, Фибс

00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,950

Боже ж ты мой!

00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,290

Почему я раньше его не пробовала?

00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:56,960

Я нечасто его пеку, чтобы

не обижать другие сорта печенья

00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:05,590

Ты права. Это лучшее овсяное

печенье с изюмом в мире

00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,340

И это доказывает, что я не вру

00:14:07,590 --> 00:14:09,680

Наверное, таки не врешь

00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:12,850

Паоло ко мне приставал

00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,190

Ну, что скажете?

00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,730

Это самый красивый стол,

какой я видел в жизни

00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:20,020

Именно

00:14:20,270 --> 00:14:23,360

А как вы будете ставить тарелки

на эти маленькие головки?

00:14:23,610 --> 00:14:25,110

По фигу! Будем есть

над раковиной!

00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,740

Ну давайте!

00:14:28,610 --> 00:14:30,030

Внимание, Росс

00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,160

Гол!

00:14:31,410 --> 00:14:34,160

Пижоны!

00:14:35,790 --> 00:14:38,620

Ты как, нормально?

00:14:40,250 --> 00:14:43,000

Мне нужно молока

00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:46,800

А у меня есть молоко

00:14:50,850 --> 00:14:53,220

Вот

00:15:00,310 --> 00:15:02,690

Лучше?

00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,530

Нет

00:15:07,070 --> 00:15:10,070

Я такая дура!

00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,370

Я вспоминаю, как на днях

мы сидели с вами

00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:16,120

А я такая,

"Ой, Паоло! Он такой классный!"

00:15:16,370 --> 00:15:18,620

"У меня от него прямо..."

00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:20,420

О боже!

00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,210

Мне так стыдно!

00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,250

Это мне стыдно

00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:25,800

Это ко мне он приставал

00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,630

Фиби, это я его натравила

00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,630

Если бы я с ним не познакомилась,

этого бы...

00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:33,550

- Прости меня.

- Нет, это ты меня прости.

00:15:33,810 --> 00:15:34,890

Стоп!

00:15:35,140 --> 00:15:37,350

- Чего мы извиняемся?

- Не знаю.

00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,560

Правильно. Это он - свинья

00:15:39,810 --> 00:15:42,520

- Такая свинья!

- О боже, какая свинья!

00:15:42,770 --> 00:15:46,230

Огромная отвратительная свинья...

00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:50,320

- Кабанище!

- Да, точно!

00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:56,120

Но это был мой кабан!

00:15:57,330 --> 00:16:01,040

Как я этого не увидела?

00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:03,750

А я знаю!

00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:07,130

Потому что...

00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:08,880

...он такой роскошный

00:16:09,130 --> 00:16:10,720

И обаятельный

00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,510

- А когда посмотрит на тебя...

- Все, хватит.

00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,260

Молчу, молчу

00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,180

Боже мой!

00:16:20,770 --> 00:16:23,350

Может, не надо было говорить?

00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:28,480

Поверь мне, гораздо лучше знать

00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:35,700

Но раньше мне больше нравилось,

как было раньше. Тогда было лучше

00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:52,630

Я думаю, она приняла это нормально

00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,840

Там сейчас Паоло, так что...

00:16:55,090 --> 00:16:57,010

Надо пойти и посмотреть,

все ли в порядке

00:16:57,260 --> 00:17:00,640

Одну секунду

00:17:00,890 --> 00:17:01,680

Гол!

00:17:01,930 --> 00:17:04,900

Мы победили!

00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:07,980

Я пошла

00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,240

Похоже, мы вас вздули

00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:12,490

Нет, она нас вздула

00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:15,700

А ты - олимпийский чемпион

по стоянию в сторонке

00:17:15,950 --> 00:17:17,160

Ну давайте. Двое на одного

00:17:17,410 --> 00:17:19,910

Чего ты до сих пор здесь?

Она только что бросила парня

00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,830

Пора тебе хватать добычу

00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,790

Что, сейчас?

00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:26,250

Именно сейчас и именно хватать

00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:30,170

Когда Паоло оттуда выйдет, ты

должен первым попасться ей на глаза

00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:32,670

Она должна понять, что ты -

это все то, чего нет в нем

00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:36,510

Ты типа как анти-Паоло

00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:39,060

Мой католический друг прав

00:17:39,310 --> 00:17:41,220

Она в смятении.

А ты приходишь на помощь

00:17:41,470 --> 00:17:44,600

Склеиваешь ее из кусочков,

а затем...

00:17:44,850 --> 00:17:49,230

...возвещаещь начало

"Россовского периода"

00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,740

Подожди! Асколта!

00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:02,200

- Как там дела?

- Не надо пялиться.

00:18:02,450 --> 00:18:04,870

Она уже закончила бросать

его шмотки с балкона

00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:07,380

Теперь только рожи корчит

и руками машет

00:18:07,630 --> 00:18:12,760

А это было либо "Как ты мог!",

либо "Вот такенные сиськи!"

00:18:13,170 --> 00:18:15,550

А вот и он

00:18:25,390 --> 00:18:27,150

Я здесь...

00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,400

...сказать "прощай"

00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:32,400

Прощай так прощай

00:18:35,950 --> 00:18:37,570

Паоло, я ненавижу тебя за то,

что ты сделал Рэйчел

00:18:37,820 --> 00:18:39,620

Но у меня еще есть пять штук лазаний...

00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:43,910

...ее надо греть при 150 градусах,

пока не запузырится сыр

00:18:47,420 --> 00:18:48,790

Паоло, я хочу тебе сказать...

00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:54,130

...и думаю, что скажу за всех

присутствующих...

00:18:59,510 --> 00:19:00,890

Ой, бедняжка

00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,970

Я думаю, туда должен пойти

кто-то один из нас...

00:19:04,220 --> 00:19:06,100

...чтобы не создавать толпу.

- Правильно.

00:19:06,350 --> 00:19:09,940

И это должен быть только я

00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,620

Ты как, нормально?

00:19:28,870 --> 00:19:32,040

Бывало и лучше

00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:37,170

Иди ко мне

00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:44,310

Послушай...

00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,600

...ты заслуживаешь намного большего

00:19:47,850 --> 00:19:50,310

В смысле...

00:19:50,310 --> 00:19:55,400

...ты должна быть с тем, кто

будет ценить то, что ему досталось

00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:57,280

Ой, Росс...

00:19:57,990 --> 00:19:59,740

Что?

00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:03,070

Мне так осточертели мужики!

00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,450

Я даже смотреть на мужиков не хочу

00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:07,830

Я и думать о мужиках не хочу

00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:12,710

Я даже стоять рядом

с мужиками не хочу

00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:22,300

Росс, ты такой классный

00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:34,770

Ну как ты, пришла в себя?

00:20:35,020 --> 00:20:36,610

Не то чтобы

00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:40,240

Печенье еще осталось?

00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:43,030

Знаешь, Рэйч...

00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:47,700

...мне кажется, вообще убрать мужчин

из своей жизни - это не выход

00:20:47,950 --> 00:20:54,170

Тебе просто нужно выработать

правильную методику отбора

00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,840

Нет, мне просто нужно немножко

побыть самой по себе

00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,380

Я хочу понять, что же мне

на самом деле нужно

00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:05,640

Понимаешь, ведь не все мужчины

такие, как Паоло

00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,640

Да нет, я знаю

00:21:07,890 --> 00:21:12,440

Вот я уверена, что твой мальчик

таким не вырастет

00:21:12,690 --> 00:21:13,560

Что?

00:21:13,810 --> 00:21:16,190

Что?

00:21:17,940 --> 00:21:20,610

- У меня будет мальчик?

- Нет...

00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:26,030

Нет. Не знаю никакого мальчика

00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,660

У меня будет мальчик

00:21:29,700 --> 00:21:31,290

У меня будет мальчик?

00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,750

Да, у тебя будет мальчик!

00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,250

У меня будет мальчик!

00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:36,460

У меня будет мальчик!

00:21:36,710 --> 00:21:37,500

- Что?

- В чем дело?

00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:40,380

У меня будет мальчик!

У меня - будет мальчик!

00:21:44,050 --> 00:21:47,220

А мы уже знали!

00:21:49,140 --> 00:21:52,180

У меня будет сын

00:21:58,850 --> 00:22:00,510

Да! Сделала вас по сухому!

00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:04,610

Всухую!

00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:09,030

Куда это вы? Давайте еще партию!

00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,280

Уже пол-третьего ночи

00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:12,700

Выметайся!

00:22:12,950 --> 00:22:15,910

А вот вы, ребята,

вечно торчите у меня в квартире

00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,620

Ну давайте! Я буду играть

одной левой

00:22:18,870 --> 00:22:22,460

Давайте, ссыкуны!

00:22:24,710 --> 00:22:27,170

Все! Ладно! Я ухожу!

00:22:27,420 --> 00:22:28,800

Уже ухожу

00:22:29,050 --> 00:22:32,010

Ушла

00:22:33,300 --> 00:22:35,770

- Еще партию?

- Конечно!

00:22:39,350 --> 00:22:41,350

Перевод В.Бродового