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Джои принимает у себя отца и узнает, что у того роман на стороне; он разрывается между желанием рассказать матери и нежеланием рассказывать, но вскоре понимает, что она уже в курсе и хочет, чтобы все осталось как есть. Чендлер случайно видит Рэйчел топлесс после душа, и начинается цепная реакция обнажения, когда она пытается отомстить, увидев его голым. Вместо этого она застает Джои голым, который затем видит Монику без одежды, которая случайно застает отца Джои в душе. Всем не нравится новый парень Фиби, раздражающий психиатр по имени Роджер (Фишер Стивенс), который делает неприятно точные оценки компании.

Эпизод с грудью

The One with the Boobies
Сезон: 01Серия: 13

Описание

Джои принимает у себя отца и узнает, что у того роман на стороне; он разрывается между желанием рассказать матери и нежеланием рассказывать, но вскоре понимает, что она уже в курсе и хочет, чтобы все осталось как есть. Чендлер случайно видит Рэйчел топлесс после душа, и начинается цепная реакция обнажения, когда она пытается отомстить, увидев его голым. Вместо этого она застает Джои голым, который затем видит Монику без одежды, которая случайно застает отца Джои в душе. Всем не нравится новый парень Фиби, раздражающий психиатр по имени Роджер (Фишер Стивенс), который делает неприятно точные оценки компании.

Субтитры

eng__.srt

eng__.srt

00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,560

CHANDLER: I'm sorry.

RACHEL: Oh, my God. That's it.

00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:22,021

You just barge in here

and you don't knock?

00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,106

You have no respect

for anybody's privacy.

00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:25,899

- Rachel, wait.

- No, you wait.

00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,610

- Can I just say one thing?

- What? What?

00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:32,072

That's a relatively open weave

and I can still see your...

00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:35,242

...nippular area.

- Ugh!

00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,507

Honey, honey, tell them the story

about your patient...

00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:33,467

...who thinks things are

other things.

00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:35,260

You know?

00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,514

Like when the phone rings

and she takes a shower...

00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:42,017

That's pretty much it.

00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,813

But you tell it really well, sweetie.

00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,190

Thanks. Okay.

00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,984

Now go away so we can

talk about you.

00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:52,903

Okay. I'll miss you.

00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:56,115

Isn't he great?

00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,617

He's so cute. And he

likes you so much.

00:01:58,827 --> 00:01:59,868

I know. I know.

00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:02,996

He's so sweet.

And so complicated, you know?

00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:06,625

And for a shrink,

he's not too "shrinky." You know?

00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,752

So you think you'll do it on his couch?

00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,755

Oh. I don't know. That's a little weird.

00:02:12,006 --> 00:02:13,382

It's vinyl.

00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:19,346

- Okay. You guys want anything else?

- Oh, yes.

00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:21,098

- Could I have...?

- Sorry, we're all out.

00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:22,599

- Anybody else?

- Okay.

00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,394

Did I, uh, miss something?

00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:28,814

No, she's still upset

because I saw her boobies.

00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:32,568

What were you doing

seeing her boobies?

00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:33,861

It was an accident.

00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:36,864

I wasn't across the street with

a telescope and a box of doughnuts.

00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:38,323

[ROGER LAUGHS]

00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,492

Can we change the subject, please?

00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,872

Because, hello? These aren't her

"boobies." These are her breasts.

00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:49,501

Pheebs, I was hoping

for more of a change.

00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:54,089

I don't know why you're embarrassed.

They were very nice boobies.

00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:56,550

"Nice"?

00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,051

They were "nice"?

00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:01,054

That's it?

I mean, mittens are "nice."

00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,517

Okay. Rock, hard place...

00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,144

...me.

00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,355

[ROGER LAUGHING]

00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,483

You're so funny.

00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,778

He's really funny.

00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:20,908

I wouldn't want to be there when

the laughter stops.

00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,118

Whoa, whoa. Back up there, sparky.

00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,663

What did you mean by that?

00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:30,792

It seems that maybe

you have intimacy issues...

00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:34,838

...that you use your humor

to keep people at a distance.

00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,132

Huh.

00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:40,219

I mean, hey, I just met you.

I don't know you from Adam.

00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:43,138

Only child, right?

00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,850

Parents divorced

before you hit puberty.

00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,562

Uh-huh. How did you know?

00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:52,397

It's textbook.

00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:56,693

Hey, you guys.

00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,487

You all know my dad, right?

00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,406

- How long are you in the city?

- A couple of days.

00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:02,699

I got a job midtown.

00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,785

I figure I'm better off

staying with the kid...

00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,663

...than hauling my ass back and forth

on the ferry.

00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,039

I don't know this one.

00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,375

- Oh. This is my friend Roger.

- Hi.

00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,210

- Good to meet you.

ROGER: You too.

00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:16,255

What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?

00:04:16,464 --> 00:04:18,715

- Dad, uh...

- Oh, oh.

00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:19,967

Excuse me.

00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:21,843

So, Ross, uh, how's the wife?

00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:23,720

[ROSS GROANS]

00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,431

Oh for two, huh? Heh.

00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:29,142

Uh, Chandler, quick,

say something funny.

00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:41,029

Gotta go. Ha, ha.

I miss you too.

00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,365

I love you,

but it's getting late now...

00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,242

Let me say hi. Hey, Ma.

00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:49,162

Listen, I made the appointment

with Dr. Bassida and...

00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,456

Excuse me?

00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,503

Did you know this isn't Ma?

00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,722

Her name's Ronni.

00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,891

She's a pet mortician.

00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,230

Sure.

00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,358

So how long have you been...

00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:23,363

Remember when you were a kid,

I'd take you to the Navy yard...

00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:24,990

...and show you the big ships?

00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,994

- Since then?

- No, it's only been six years.

00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:30,871

I wanted to give you

a nice memory...

00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:34,333

...so you'd know I wasn't always

such a terrible guy.

00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,338

Joe, have you ever been in love?

00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,090

I don't know.

00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,217

Then you haven't.

00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:47,804

- You're burning your tomatoes.

- Hmm. You're one to talk.

00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,351

Joe, your dad's in love, bigtime.

00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,354

And the worst part is,

it's with two different women.

00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,648

Oh, man. Please tell me

one of them is Ma.

00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,818

Of course one of them's Ma.

What's the matter with you?

00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,121

It's like if you woke up one day

and found out...

00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,457

...your dad was

leading this double life.

00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:19,669

He's, like, actually some spy

working for the CIA.

00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:21,588

That'd be cool.

00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:23,840

This blows.

00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,970

I know. Why can't parents

just stay parents?

00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,139

Why do they

have to become people?

00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,308

Why do they have...?

00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,811

Why...

00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,357

...can't you stop staring

at my breasts?

00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:46,363

What?

00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,950

Didn't you get a good enough

look the other day?

00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,576

All right, we're all adults here.

00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,579

There's only one way

to resolve this.

00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,331

Since you saw her boobies...

00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:59,084

...I think, uh, you're gonna have to

show her your pee-pee.

00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,971

You know,

I don't see that happening.

00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:14,516

Come on. He's right.

Tit for tat.

00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,898

Well I'm not showing you my tat.

00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,025

[INTERCOM BUZZES]

00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,027

Hello?

00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,488

PHOEBE: It's Phoebe.

ROGER: And Rog.

00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:30,907

Come on up.

00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:34,119

Oh, good. Rog is here.

00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:38,540

- What's the matter with Rog?

- Nothing. It's a little thing.

00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,584

I hate that guy.

00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:44,880

What? So he was a little analytical.

That's what he does.

00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,007

Come on, he's not that bad.

00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:50,010

That's where you're wrong.

Why would I marry her...

00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:53,054

...if I thought on any level

that she was a lesbian?

00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,390

I don't know.

00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,350

Maybe you wanted

your marriage to fail.

00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,441

- Ha, ha.

- Why? Why would I? Why?

00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,485

Why? Why? Why?

00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:10,655

I don't know.

Maybe low self-esteem?

00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:14,868

Maybe to compensate

for overshadowing a sibling. Maybe...

00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,913

Wait.

Go back to that "sibling" thing.

00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,832

Well, I don't know.

00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:24,211

It's conceivable that

you sabotaged your marriage...

00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:28,089

...so the sibling would be less

of a failure in the parents' eyes.

00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:29,883

[CHUCKLES]

00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:35,722

That's ridiculous.

I don't feel guilty for her failures.

00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,186

- Oh, so you think I'm a failure?

- Isn't he good?

00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:44,689

Yeah. No.

That's not what I was saying.

00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,942

All these years,

I thought you were on my side...

00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,528

...but maybe you were

sucking up to Mom and Dad...

00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:50,862

...so they'd favor you.

00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,490

Hey, I married a lesbian

to make you look good.

00:08:58,454 --> 00:08:59,621

You're right.

00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,289

I mean, you're right.

00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:05,293

It wasn't just the Weebles,

but it was the Weeble Play Palace...

00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:10,257

...and the Weeble's Cruise Ship...

00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:14,427

...which had this little lifeboat

for the Weebles to wobble in.

00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,472

That's tough, tough stuff.

00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:21,101

Pheebs, if we're gonna

catch that movie, we gotta go.

00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,978

Okay. Feel better, okay?

00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:25,063

ROGER: We're gonna be late, sweetie.

- Okay.

00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,108

- Listen, thanks for everything, Mon.

- No problem.

00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,235

It was great seeing you again.

00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,861

[ROSS MUTTERS]

00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,824

Mon, uh, easy on those cookies, okay?

00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:38,201

Remember, they're just food...

00:09:38,452 --> 00:09:39,828

...they're not love.

00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:45,917

I hate that guy.

00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:50,880

JOEY:

Good night, you guys.

00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:56,553

Oh, look.

It's the woman we ordered.

00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,976

Hey. Can, uh... Can we help you?

00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:06,479

Oh. No, thanks. I'm just waiting

for, uh, Joey Tribbiani.

00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,399

I'm Joey Tribbiani.

00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:13,236

Oh. Oh, no, not you. Big Joey.

00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,487

Oh, my God.

00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:17,365

You're so much cuter than

your pictures.

00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,536

I'm Ronni.

00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:25,790

Cheese Nip?

00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,337

Uh, Joey's having an embolism...

00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,213

...but I'd go for a Nip.

00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,015

You see, most people,

when their pets pass on...

00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,893

...they want them laid out

like they're sleeping.

00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:48,271

But occasionally you get a person

who wants them in a pose.

00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:51,232

Like, uh, chasing their tail.

00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:55,236

Or, uh, jumping to catch a Frisbee.

00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,948

Joey, if I go first, I want to be

looking for my keys.

00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,950

[RONNI LAUGHS]

00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,203

- That's a good one.

- Hey, Joe.

00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,954

Hey, Dad. Ronni's here.

00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,456

- Huh?

- Hi.

00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:07,916

- Hey.

RONNl: Hey.

00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,626

Hello, babe.

00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,796

What are...? What are you doing here?

00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:15,757

Oh, uh, you left your hair

at my apartment.

00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:18,385

I figured you'd need it

for your meeting.

00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,263

Thank you. Uh...

00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,851

So who's up for a big

game of Kerplunk?

00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:32,440

Look, I, uh...

00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,317

I shouldn't have come.

00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:36,986

I gotta go.

I'll miss the last train.

00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,280

No, I don't want you taking

that thing this late.

00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,866

- Where am I gonna stay? Here?

- Whoa.

00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:46,913

We'll go to a hotel.

00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:50,458

- No, you won't.

- No, we won't.

00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,586

If you go to a hotel,

you'll be doing stuff.

00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,756

I want you right here,

where I can keep an eye on you.

00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,633

You're gonna keep an eye on us?

00:11:58,843 --> 00:11:59,884

That's right, mister.

00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:02,595

I don't care how old you are,

while you're here...

00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,265

...you're gonna live by my rules.

00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:11,771

And that means no sleeping

with your girlfriend.

00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,066

Wow, he's strict.

00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,776

Dad, you'll be in my room.

00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:20,029

Ronni, uh, you can stay in

Chandler's room.

00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:22,657

Thanks.

You're a good kid.

00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,909

Come on.

I'll show you to my room.

00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:30,498

That sounds weird when it's not

followed by, "No, thanks, it's late."

00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:38,131

Okay. This is just for tonight.

Starting tomorrow, you gotta change.

00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:40,884

- Six years is long enough.

- What kind of change?

00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:43,094

- Break up with Ronni...

- I can't.

00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:45,972

Then come clean with Ma.

This is not right.

00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,225

I don't wanna hear it.

Now go to my room.

00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,908

Hey, kickie.

00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,121

- What are you doing?

- Trying to get comfortable.

00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:13,249

- I can't sleep in my underwear.

- Well, you're gonna.

00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,382

I've been thinking...

00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,928

...about how I'm always

seeing girls on top of girls.

00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:31,184

Are they end-to-end,

or tall, like pancakes?

00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,771

You know what I mean.

How I date all these women.

00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:37,857

I always figured, when

the right one comes along...

00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,402

...I'll be able to be a standup guy

and go the distance, you know?

00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,030

Now I'm looking at my Dad thinking...

00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,658

You're not him, you're you.

00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:51,412

When they wanted you to go into

your father's business, did you cave?

00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,705

- No.

- No.

00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:55,250

You decided to go into

the out-of-work-actor business.

00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,587

That wasn't easy, but you did it.

00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:03,216

And I believe that

when the right woman comes along...

00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:05,343

...you'll have the guts to say:

00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:06,970

"No thanks, I'm married."

00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:14,978

You really think so?

00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:17,313

Yeah. I really do.

00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,148

- Thanks, Chandler.

- Get off.

00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:27,949

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:33,329

- Hi.

- Hi.

00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:34,581

May I help you?

00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:38,501

Uh, Joey said I could use your shower

since, uh, Chandler's in ours.

00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,254

Okay. Who are you?

00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,799

- Oh, uh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rapalono.

- Uh-huh.

00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,968

The mistress?

00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,889

- Um, come on in.

- Thanks.

00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,057

Hi, I'm Rachel.

Bathroom's up there.

00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,309

Hey, Ronni.

00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:56,686

How long has Chandler been

in the shower?

00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,688

Oh. Like, uh, five minutes.

00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,065

Perfect.

00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:04,861

Fasten your seat belts...

00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,696

...it's pee-pee time.

00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:13,995

Hey, Mr. Trib.

00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,914

Hey. Good morning, dear.

00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,711

Chandler Bing,

it's time to see your thing.

00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,219

[RACHEL SHRIEKS]

00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:36,893

- What's the matter with you?

- I thought it was Chandler.

00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:40,813

You were supposed to be in there

so I could see your thing.

00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:45,276

Sorry, my thing

was in there with me.

00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,035

PHOEBE: Hey.

ALL: Hey, Pheebs.

00:15:54,244 --> 00:15:56,621

MONICA: How's it going?

- Good. Oh, oh.

00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,540

Roger's having a dinner thing

and he wanted me to invite you guys.

00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:00,792

[CHANDLER CHUCKLES]

00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:06,547

- So, what's going on?

- Nothing.

00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,424

It's just that, uh...

00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,510

It's Roger.

00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,513

Um, ahem, I don't know.

There's something about... Ahem.

00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,974

Basically, we just feel

that he's, uh...

00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,266

We hate that guy.

00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:18,726

MONICA:

We hate him.

00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,478

We're sorry, Pheebs.

00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:21,980

Uh-huh. Okay.

00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:25,566

Don't you think maybe it's just that

he's so perceptive...

00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,443

...that it freaked you out?

00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,445

- No, I hate him.

- No, we hate him.

00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,822

I'm sorry.

00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:38,663

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,795

Ma. What are you doing here?

00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,047

I came to give you this...

00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:49,549

...and this.

- Ow.

00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:51,259

Big ring.

00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:54,554

Why did you fill your father's head

with that garbage...

00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:57,432

...about making things right?

00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,934

Things were fine the way they were.

00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,854

There's chicken in there.

Put it away.

00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,982

For God's sake, Joey.

Really.

00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,986

Hold on. You knew?

00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,572

Of course I knew.

What do you think?

00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:15,199

Your father is no James Bond.

00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,285

You should have heard

his cover stories.

00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,787

"I'm sleeping over at

my accountant's."

00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,290

I mean, what is that?

Please.

00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,375

So then, how could you...?

00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,086

Do you remember

how your father used to be?

00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:31,549

Always yelling.

Nothing made him happy.

00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,511

Not that wood shop, not those

stupid little ships in the bottle.

00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,263

Now he's happy.

00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:40,099

I mean, it's nice.

He has a hobby.

00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:46,022

Ma, I don't mean

to be disrespectful, but...

00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,940

...what the hell

are you talking about?

00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,612

- I mean, what about you?

- Me? I'm fine.

00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:54,614

Look, honey...

00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:57,075

...in an ideal world...

00:17:57,367 --> 00:18:00,536

...there'd be no her and your father

would look like Sting.

00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,582

And I'll tell you something else:

00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:08,169

Ever since that

poodle-stuffer came along...

00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:12,715

...he's been so ashamed of himself

that he's been more attentive.

00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,801

He's been more loving.

00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:17,553

It's like every day is

our anniversary.

00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,181

I'm happy for you?

00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:21,599

Well, don't be.

00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,519

Because now everything's screwed up.

00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:30,274

I just want it the way it was.

00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:33,402

JOEY:

Ma, I'm sorry.

00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:37,115

I just did what

I thought you'd want.

00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:41,285

I know you did, cookie.

Oh, I know you did.

00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,665

So tell me...

00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,167

Did you see her?

00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:50,795

Yeah.

00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,340

You're 10 times prettier

than she is.

00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:55,883

That's sweet.

00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:58,970

Could I take her?

00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:02,974

With this ring, no contest.

00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,397

ROGER: What's wrong, sweetie?

PHOEBE: Nothing.

00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:12,150

No, no. What's wrong? Come on.

00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:13,776

Okay.

00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:18,781

It's nothing. I'm fine.

00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,950

It's just, um...

It's my friends.

00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:23,870

They have a liking problem with you...

00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,329

...in that, um...

00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:26,956

...they don't.

00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,752

Oh. They don't?

00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:34,046

But you know...

00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:37,091

...they don't see all

of the wonderfulness that I see.

00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:40,845

They don't see all the good stuff

and all the sweet stuff.

00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:42,638

They think you're a little...

00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:46,100

- What?

- Intense and creepy.

00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:49,854

Oh.

00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,648

But I don't. Me. Phoebe.

00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,111

Well, I'm not at all surprised

they feel that way.

00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,739

You're not?

See, that's why you're so great.

00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:02,241

Actually, it's

quite typical behavior...

00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:06,662

...when you have this kind

of dysfunctional group dynamic.

00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,498

You know, this kind of codependent...

00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,375

...emotionally stunted...

00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:16,797

...sitting in your stupid coffeehouse,

with your stupid big cups...

00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:20,384

...which, I'm sorry, might as well

have nipples on them.

00:20:21,845 --> 00:20:26,307

And you're all like,

"Oh, define me. Define me.

00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:29,310

Love me. I need love."

00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:32,438

So you talked to your dad, huh?

00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:35,691

Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on Ma,

like she wanted.

00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:38,527

Ma's gonna keep pretending

she doesn't know even though she does.

00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:41,530

And my sister Tina

can't see her husband anymore...

00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:43,824

...because he got

a restraining order.

00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:48,079

Which has nothing to do with it,

except that I found out today.

00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,288

Wow.

00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:52,083

Things sure have changed here

on Walton's mountain.

00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,419

So, Joey, are you okay?

00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,171

Yeah, I guess.

00:20:57,422 --> 00:20:59,674

It's just...

You know, they're parents.

00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,885

After a certain point,

you gotta let go.

00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:04,762

Even if you know better...

00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:07,473

...you gotta let them make

their own mistakes.

00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:08,724

And just think...

00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,060

...in a couple years,

we get to turn into them.

00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:12,687

Oh, please.

00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,523

If I turn into my parents,

I'll either be an alcoholic blond...

00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:18,776

...chasing after 20-year-old boys...

00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:20,820

...or I'll end up like my mom.

00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:26,867

- Hey.

ALL: Hey, Pheebs.

00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:28,536

MONICA:

How's it going?

00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:32,039

Okay, except I broke up with Roger.

00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,791

ALL:

Oh.

00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:35,126

Yeah, right.

00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,920

ALL:

No, no, really. Aw.

00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:42,925

- What happened?

- Ugh. I don't know. I mean...

00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,635

He's a good person...

00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:46,762

...and he can be really sweet.

00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:50,266

And in some ways,

I think he is so right for me.

00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:52,935

It's just, I hate that guy.

00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:03,112

Hey, Joey. What's going on?

00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:05,990

Clear the tracks for the boobie

payback express.

00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:08,034

Next stop, Rachel Green.

00:22:11,538 --> 00:22:12,997

[MONICA & JOEY YELL]

00:22:14,374 --> 00:22:16,751

Joey, what the hell were you doing?

00:22:17,252 --> 00:22:19,545

Sorry, wrong boobies.

00:22:32,768 --> 00:22:33,893

Hello, Joey.

00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:36,645

Hello, dear.

00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:43,861

[English - US - SDH]

rus__.srt

rus__.srt

00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:21,970

Чего это ты вламываешься без стука?

00:00:22,220 --> 00:00:24,060

Ты слышал слова

"неприкосновенность жилища"?

00:00:24,310 --> 00:00:25,850

- Рэйчел, стоп!

- Не затыкай мне рот!

00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:27,350

Можно сказать одну вещь?

00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:28,520

Что?! Какую?

00:00:28,770 --> 00:00:32,740

Плетение сравнительно неплотное,

так что я до сих пор вижу твои...

00:00:32,990 --> 00:00:35,360

...сосковые области

00:00:39,870 --> 00:00:42,700

1-й сезон, 13-я серия

"Титьки"

00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:29,750

Ой, солнышко...

00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,590

...расскажи им историю

о своей пациентке...

00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,340

...которая думает, что одно -

это другое. Ну?

00:01:35,590 --> 00:01:40,060

Например, звонит телефон,

а она берет душ...

00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:43,270

В общем, это и вся история

00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,810

Но ты здорово ее рассказываешь,

солнышко

00:01:46,060 --> 00:01:48,110

Спасибо

00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,230

Теперь уходи, чтобы мы

поговорили о тебе

00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,450

Ладно. Я буду скучать

00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,030

Правда, классный?

00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,570

Он симпатичный.

И тебя, похоже, обожает

00:01:58,820 --> 00:01:59,780

Ага, я знаю

00:02:00,030 --> 00:02:03,000

Он очень милый. И умный -

психолог все-таки.

00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:06,460

И одарен не только умом.

Поняли намек?

00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,670

Думаешь завалить его

на его же кушетку?

00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,670

Ну не знаю. Неудобно

как-то будет

00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,840

На кожзаменителе холодно

00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,260

Так, ребята, вам что-нибудь еще?

00:02:19,510 --> 00:02:20,970

- Да. Можно мне...

- Нет, это кончилось.

00:02:21,220 --> 00:02:23,310

Еще что-нибудь?

00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,270

Извините, я что-то пропустил?

00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:29,270

Она расстроена, что я видел

ее титьки

00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,480

А с какой стати

ты смотрел на ее титьки?

00:02:32,730 --> 00:02:33,530

Это была случайность

00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:38,160

Я не сидел в доме напротив

с телескопом и чипсами

00:02:38,410 --> 00:02:40,660

Так, давайте сменим тему, а?

00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:46,330

Кстати, да! У нее не "титьки".

Вот это - ее грудь

00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:50,130

Фибс, я надеялась сменить

тему еще больше

00:02:50,380 --> 00:02:55,050

Ну не знаю, чего ты бесишься.

Титьки были такие славные

00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,630

"Славные"?

00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:57,970

Значит, они "славные"?

00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:02,510

И всё? Знаешь, это варежки

бывают "славные"

00:03:03,510 --> 00:03:05,390

Ага! Молот... наковальня...

00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:08,020

...я.

00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,570

А ты комик!

00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,820

Он такой юморист!

00:03:17,070 --> 00:03:21,320

Но не хотел бы я быть рядом,

когда шутки кончатся

00:03:21,570 --> 00:03:24,580

А ну поподробнее, живчик

00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,250

Что ты имел в виду?

00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:30,670

Похоже, у тебя проблемы

с интимной сферой...

00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:36,300

...и ты с помощью юмора

держишь людей на расстоянии

00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:41,680

Вот я только что тебя узнал.

Я не знаю твоего прошлого.

00:03:41,890 --> 00:03:44,260

Единственный ребенок, так?

00:03:44,510 --> 00:03:48,310

Родители развелись еще

до твоего полового созревания

00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:50,940

Да... Откуда ты знаешь?

00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:53,860

Из учебника

00:03:55,570 --> 00:03:56,610

Привет, ребята

00:03:56,860 --> 00:03:58,860

Все знают моего папу, да?

00:03:59,110 --> 00:04:01,280

- Надолго вы в город?

- На пару дней.

00:04:01,530 --> 00:04:02,620

Нашел клиента в центре.

00:04:02,870 --> 00:04:05,080

Мне удобнее заночевать у сына...

00:04:05,330 --> 00:04:07,580

...чем носиться туда-сюда

на пароме

00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,080

А этого я не знаю

00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:11,250

Это мой друг Роджер

00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,130

- Приятно познакомиться, Родж.

- И мне, сэр.

00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:16,130

А куда делся тот кукловод?

00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:18,760

Папа!

00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:19,840

Извините

00:04:20,090 --> 00:04:23,720

Ну, Росс, как там супруга?

00:04:24,550 --> 00:04:26,680

Ноль очков с двух попыток, да?

00:04:26,930 --> 00:04:30,600

Чендлер, а ну быстро скажи шутку!

00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,690

Мне пора

00:04:39,940 --> 00:04:40,950

Я тоже скучаю

00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,280

Я тебя люблю,

но сейчас уже поздно...

00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:45,160

Дай поздороваться.

Привет, мама!

00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:49,910

Слушай, я договорился

с доктором Бассидой, и...

00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,920

Прошу прощения?

00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,960

Ты знал, что это не мама?

00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,180

Ее зовут Ронни

00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:11,350

Она хоронит домашних животных

00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:16,110

Ну да

00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,820

И как долго у вас уже...

00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:24,860

Помнишь, как в детстве я водил тебя

смотреть на большие корабли в доке?

00:05:25,110 --> 00:05:26,450

С тех пор?

00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,870

Нет, пока всего шесть лет

00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,790

Я просто хотел, чтобы ты вспомнил...

00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:35,790

...обо мне что-нибудь хорошее

и не держал на меня зла

00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,800

Джо, ты был когда-нибудь влюблен?

00:05:41,130 --> 00:05:42,510

Не знаю

00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,510

Значит, не был

00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,260

Следи за своими помидорами

00:05:46,510 --> 00:05:49,260

Ага, кто бы говорил

00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,220

Джо, у твоего папы большая любовь

00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,270

И хуже всего то, что

с двумя разными женщинами

00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:58,560

Блин! Скажи мне,

что одна из них - мама!

00:05:58,810 --> 00:06:03,280

Конечно, одна из них - мама.

Не заговаривайся!

00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:13,000

Это как будто проснулся

и вдруг понял...

00:06:13,250 --> 00:06:15,330

...что твой отец живет

двойной жизнью

00:06:15,580 --> 00:06:19,960

Как будто он на самом деле

шпион из ЦРУ

00:06:20,210 --> 00:06:22,090

Было бы круто!

00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:25,300

А вот это - не круто!

00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,890

Да уж. Почему бы родителям

не быть всегда родителями?

00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:31,060

Зачем они становятся

просто людьми?

00:06:31,310 --> 00:06:33,560

Зачем им нужно...

00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,350

Зачем...

00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:41,440

...ты все время пялишься

на мою грудь?

00:06:41,690 --> 00:06:44,280

Что?

00:06:45,110 --> 00:06:46,900

Что?

00:06:47,150 --> 00:06:49,870

Ты тогда не насмотрелся?

00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:51,450

Ладно, ладно, все мы

здесь взрослые люди

00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:54,450

Есть только один способ

разрешить конфликт

00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:56,210

Раз ты видел ее титьки...

00:06:56,460 --> 00:07:00,540

...думаю, ты должен показать ей

свою пипиську

00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:11,850

Знаешь, я почему-то против

00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:15,980

Да ну. Он прав. Зуб за зуб

00:07:19,310 --> 00:07:23,360

Не покажу я тебе свой зуб!

00:07:25,990 --> 00:07:29,570

- Это Фиби.

- И Родж!

00:07:29,820 --> 00:07:30,780

Поднимайтесь

00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:35,040

Какое счастье! Родж пришел!

00:07:35,290 --> 00:07:38,460

- Чем тебе Родж не угодил?

- Ничем. Так, ничего особенного.

00:07:38,710 --> 00:07:40,920

Я его ненавижу!

00:07:41,170 --> 00:07:44,800

Чего? Ну любит человек анализировать.

Работа такая.

00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:46,880

Да ну, ничего в нем плохого нет

00:07:47,130 --> 00:07:49,880

А вот тут ты ошибаешься!

Зачем мне было на ней жениться...

00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:53,720

...если подсознательно я знал,

что она лесбиянка?

00:07:53,970 --> 00:07:55,310

Ну не знаю

00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,810

Может, ты хотел,

чтобы твой брак рухнул

00:08:02,770 --> 00:08:06,230

Зачем? Зачем это мне?

Зачем, зачем, зачем?

00:08:06,650 --> 00:08:10,530

Не знаю. Может,

заниженная самооценка?

00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:15,280

Может, чувство вины за подавление

младших в семье

00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:17,830

Стоп! Поподробнее про подавление

младших

00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,710

Ну я даже не знаю

00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:24,130

Можно себе представить, что ты

довел свой брак до ручки...

00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:29,550

...чтобы сестра казалась меньшей

неудачницей в глазах родителей

00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:37,180

Курам на смех! Я не виноват

в том, что у нее жизнь не удалась.

00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:42,060

- Так по-твоему, у меня жизнь не удалась?

- Специалист, а?

00:08:42,310 --> 00:08:44,560

Да. Нет, я не это хотел сказать

00:08:44,810 --> 00:08:46,860

Я думала, все эти годы

ты на моей стороне...

00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,400

...а ты, наверное, просто

подлизывался к маме с папой...

00:08:49,650 --> 00:08:50,740

...чтобы они любили тебя больше

00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:54,950

Эй! Да я женился на лесбиянке,

чтобы ты выросла в их глазах!

00:08:58,370 --> 00:08:59,540

Ты прав

00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:01,160

Нет, серьезно, ты прав!

00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:06,750

Это был не просто ванька-встанька.

У него был свой дворец.

00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,170

И круизная яхта

00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:15,300

Со спасательной шлюпкой,

чтобы он там качался!

00:09:15,550 --> 00:09:17,510

Я понимаю, как это тяжело

00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:21,560

Фибс, если мы хотим

успеть на кино, нам пора

00:09:21,810 --> 00:09:22,850

А ты не расстраивайся, ладно?

00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,940

Фибс, мы опоздаем!

00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,900

Спасибо за все, Мон

00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,150

Не за что

00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,690

Приятно было снова увидеть вас,

ребята

00:09:32,860 --> 00:09:35,740

Мон, аккуратней с печеньем, ладно?

00:09:35,990 --> 00:09:38,120

Помни - это просто еда...

00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:41,290

...а не любовь

00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:47,380

Я его ненавижу!

00:09:49,550 --> 00:09:52,340

Спокойной ночи, ребята

00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:58,010

Ой, смотри! Вот и женщина,

которую мы заказывали

00:10:01,770 --> 00:10:03,560

Привет, чем можем помочь?

00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:07,650

Ничем, спасибо.

Мне нужен Джои Триббиани

00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,110

Я - Джои Триббиани

00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,110

Ой, нет, не вы. Старший Джои

00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:14,360

Боже мой!

00:10:14,610 --> 00:10:18,820

Вы гораздо симпатичнее,

чем на фотографиях

00:10:19,780 --> 00:10:23,000

Я - Ронни

00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:27,250

Сырных подушечек?

00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:30,630

Джои как раз хватил удар

00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,670

А я, пожалуй, возьму

00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,260

Большинство людей, которые

хоронят домашних любимцев...

00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,140

...просят положить их так,

как будто те спят

00:10:45,390 --> 00:10:48,600

Но бывают чудаки, которые

хотят какую-нибудь позу

00:10:48,850 --> 00:10:51,980

Например, гоняться за хвостом

00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:56,490

Или ловить летающую тарелку

00:10:56,740 --> 00:11:01,620

Джои, если я умру первым,

я хочу позу поиска ключей

00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:03,540

Хорошо сказал!

00:11:03,790 --> 00:11:06,790

Привет, папа. У нас Ронни

00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,540

Привет, лапочка!

00:11:10,790 --> 00:11:14,210

Как ты сюда попала?

00:11:14,460 --> 00:11:16,050

Ты оставил у меня свои волосы

00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:20,220

Я подумала, они тебе пригодятся

для встречи

00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,100

Спасибо

00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:28,690

Ну что, в домино? Как раз четверо

00:11:31,610 --> 00:11:32,860

Слушай, мне...

00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:34,610

Не надо было мне приходить

00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:37,240

Мне пора.

А то пропущу последний поезд

00:11:37,490 --> 00:11:39,530

Нет, не надо тебе идти

на поезд так поздно

00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:43,120

- И где же мне остаться? Здесь?

- Ага!

00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,830

Мы поедем в гостиницу

00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,750

Поедем в гостиницу

00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,790

- Нет, не поедете.

- Нет, не поедем.

00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:53,840

Если вы поедете в гостиницу,

вы там... будете безобразничать

00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:57,010

А я хочу присмотреть за вами,

так что оставайтесь здесь

00:11:57,260 --> 00:11:58,880

Ты будешь за нами присматривать?

00:11:59,130 --> 00:11:59,970

Именно, уважаемый!

00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,890

Мне плевать, сколько вам лет.

Пока вы у меня в доме...

00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:07,100

...будете жить по моим правилам

00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:12,480

То есть никаких ночных забав

с подружкой

00:12:12,730 --> 00:12:15,610

Ого, какой он строгий

00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,070

Папа, ты будешь спать

у меня в комнате

00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,360

Ронни, вы можете спать

у Чендлера

00:12:20,610 --> 00:12:22,910

Спасибо. Какой хороший сын

00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,740

Идем. Покажу вам свою комнату

00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:32,330

Странно не слышать после этого

"Нет, спасибо, уже поздно!"

00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,420

Это только на сегодня.

Завтра ты должен все изменить

00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:41,180

- Шести лет уже хватит!

- Что изменить?

00:12:41,430 --> 00:12:43,390

- Или порви с Ронни...

- Я не могу!

00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:46,640

Или разберись с мамой!

Так неправильно!

00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:51,060

Не хочу ничего слышать!

А ну пошел в мою комнату!

00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:06,740

Эй, дрыгоножка!

00:13:07,910 --> 00:13:08,790

Что ты делаешь?

00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,410

Устраиваюсь поудобнее

00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:15,080

- Я не привык спать в трусах.

- А придется.

00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:21,670

Я тут подумал...

00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:26,760

...обо всех этих кучах девушек,

что у меня были...

00:13:28,180 --> 00:13:31,810

Они были складированы штабелями,

или стопкой, как блины?

00:13:32,060 --> 00:13:35,060

Не притворяйся, что не понял.

Я обо всех своих подружках

00:13:35,310 --> 00:13:38,110

Я думал, что когда появится

та самая...

00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,650

...я успокоюсь и не буду

кидаться на всех подряд

00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:44,280

А теперь смотрю на папу и думаю...

00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:47,580

Ты - не он, ты - сам по себе

00:13:47,830 --> 00:13:52,870

Когда тебя тащили в отцовскую фирму

по сантехнике, ты же не поддался?

00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:57,080

Нет. Ты выбрал жизнь

безработного актера

00:13:57,500 --> 00:14:00,300

Это было нелегко, но ты смог

00:14:00,550 --> 00:14:03,470

И я хочу верить, что когда наконец

появится та самая женщина...

00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,590

...у тебя хватит мужества сказать:

00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,800

"Спасибо, но я женат."

00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:16,310

Ты правда так думаешь?

00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:17,610

Да, правда

00:14:17,860 --> 00:14:20,980

- Спасибо, Чендлер.

- Да иди ты!

00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:34,580

Чем могу помочь?

00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:40,210

Джои сказал, я могу помыться в вашем

душе, поскольку в нашем - Чендлер

00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,170

Ладно. А вы кто?

00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:45,040

Ой, я Ронни. Ронни Рапалоно

00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:47,670

Любовница!

00:14:49,420 --> 00:14:51,010

- Заходите.

- Спасибо.

00:14:51,260 --> 00:14:53,180

Привет, я Рэйчел. Ванная там

00:14:53,430 --> 00:14:54,390

Скажите, Ронни...

00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:57,220

А Чендлер уже давно в душе?

00:14:57,470 --> 00:14:59,810

Наверное, минут пять

00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:02,770

Отлично

00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:04,980

Пристегните ремни...

00:15:05,230 --> 00:15:08,400

...заходим на пиписку!

00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:14,490

Привет, мистер Триб

00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:17,620

Привет, лапочка

00:15:17,910 --> 00:15:23,420

Ну-ка, Чендлер-дружок,

покажи свой корешок!

00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:37,100

- Что ты делаешь?

- Я думала, здесь Чендлер!

00:15:37,350 --> 00:15:42,520

Ты должен был быть там,

чтобы я увидела твою штуку!

00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:46,980

Извини, моя штука

была со мной там

00:15:54,410 --> 00:15:55,240

Ну, как дела?

00:15:55,490 --> 00:15:56,570

Хорошо

00:15:56,820 --> 00:16:02,540

Роджер устраивает ужин

и хочет пригласить всех вас

00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:05,330

Что такое?

00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:07,130

Ничего

00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:09,550

Просто, понимаешь...

00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,220

Этот Роджер

00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:14,130

Тут, понимаешь, такое дело...

00:16:14,380 --> 00:16:16,140

Нам просто кажется, что он...

00:16:16,390 --> 00:16:17,470

Мы его ненавидим!

00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,010

Да, ненавидим!

00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:22,180

Извини, Фибс

00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:25,730

Та-ак. Может, он просто настолько

проницателен...

00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:27,560

...что это приводит вас в ужас?

00:16:27,810 --> 00:16:29,570

Нет, мы его именно ненавидим!

00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:32,530

Извини

00:16:44,290 --> 00:16:45,920

Мама! Как ты здесь оказалась?

00:16:46,170 --> 00:16:48,210

Я приехала дать тебе это...

00:16:48,460 --> 00:16:49,790

...и это!

00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,500

Блин, кольцом попала!

00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:54,720

Зачем ты забил отцу голову

этой ерундой...

00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,590

...про то, как надо

поступать правильно?

00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,100

Все было хорошо так, как было!

00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:03,060

Там курица. Положи в холодильник

00:17:03,310 --> 00:17:07,690

Правда, Джои, бога ради!

00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,110

Стоп. Так ты знала?

00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:12,730

Конечно, я знала. А ты как думал?

00:17:12,980 --> 00:17:15,360

Твой отец не тянет

на Джеймса Бонда

00:17:15,610 --> 00:17:17,450

Ты бы слышал его россказни

00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:19,950

"Я переночую у своего бухгалтера"

00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,450

Это нормально? Я тебя прошу!

00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:24,500

И как же ты тогда могла...?

00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:27,250

Ты помнишь, каким был твой отец?

00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:31,710

Вечно орал. Вечно был недоволен.

Ничто его не радовало

00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,670

Ни его столярная мастерская,

ни идиотские кораблики в бутылках

00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,430

А теперь он доволен

00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:41,800

Это же хорошо. У него есть хобби

00:17:42,850 --> 00:17:46,350

Мама, не хочу показаться грубым,

но...

00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,650

...что за чушь ты несешь?

00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:53,270

- Что это с тобой?

- Со мной? Ничего.

00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:54,900

Слушай, милый...

00:17:55,150 --> 00:17:57,280

...в идеальном мире...

00:17:57,530 --> 00:18:02,240

...ее бы не было, а твой отец

был бы похож на Стинга

00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,700

И вот что я еще тебе скажу:

00:18:04,950 --> 00:18:08,330

С тех пор, как у него появилась

эта чучельных дел мастерица...

00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:12,840

...ему так стыдно за себя,

что он стал гораздо внимательнее

00:18:13,090 --> 00:18:15,210

Гораздо нежнее

00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:18,090

Как будто у нас каждый день

годовщина свадьбы

00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:20,300

Ладно, поздравляю

00:18:20,550 --> 00:18:22,550

А вот не с чем!

00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,930

Потому что все это пошло прахом

00:18:26,180 --> 00:18:30,440

А я хочу, чтобы все было,

как раньше

00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:33,560

Мам, ну извини

00:18:33,810 --> 00:18:37,280

Я просто думал, что так

будет лучше для тебя

00:18:37,530 --> 00:18:42,990

Я знаю, солнышко. Я знаю

00:18:44,410 --> 00:18:46,950

Так скажи мне...

00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,710

Ты ее видел?

00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,300

Да ты раз в десять красивее,

чем она

00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:57,430

Как мило

00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,520

Я бы смогла ее побить?

00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:04,520

С этим кольцом - как нечего делать!

00:19:07,150 --> 00:19:10,190

- Что такое, милая?

- Да ничего...

00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,700

Что-то случилось! Выкладывай.

00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:18,740

Да ничего. Все в порядке

00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:20,950

Просто... Просто мои друзья

00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,870

У них проблема положительного

восприятия тебя...

00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:25,330

...в том плане...

00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:28,500

...что его нет

00:19:30,590 --> 00:19:32,550

Я им не нравлюсь?

00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,050

Но знаешь...

00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:37,090

...они же не видят все то чудесное,

что вижу я

00:19:37,340 --> 00:19:40,850

Не видят всего хорошего,

всего доброго

00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:43,270

Они думают, что ты немного...

00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:44,390

Какой?

00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,400

Злобный и подлый

00:19:50,060 --> 00:19:54,190

Но я так не думаю. Я, Фиби

00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,070

Я совсем не удивлен,

что они так думают

00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,870

Ты не удивлен? Вот я и говорю -

ты такой классный!

00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:02,240

Это совершенно типичное поведение...

00:20:02,490 --> 00:20:06,620

...для группы, совершенно лишенной

нормального взаимодействия

00:20:06,870 --> 00:20:09,500

Такая, знаешь,

болезненная привязанность...

00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,420

...на грани истеричности...

00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:16,800

...все это сидение в идиотском кафе,

с идиотскими большими чашками...

00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:21,600

...на которые, извините,

хоть бери и приклеивай сосок

00:20:21,850 --> 00:20:26,270

И все вы в один голос:

"Определи меня! Реализуй меня!"

00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:30,560

"Люби меня!

Мне не хватает любви!"

00:20:30,810 --> 00:20:32,400

Так ты поговорил с отцом?

00:20:32,650 --> 00:20:35,740

Он собирается и дальше

изменять маме, как она хочет

00:20:35,990 --> 00:20:38,530

А мама будет и дальше притворяться,

что не знает, хотя знает

00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:41,530

А моя сестричка Тина больше

не может видеть своего мужа...

00:20:41,780 --> 00:20:44,410

...потому что ей это запретил суд

00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:49,250

Одно к другому никак не относится,

просто я сегодня узнал

00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:53,630

Семейные ценности - страшная сила

00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:55,800

Джои, ты как, нормально?

00:20:56,050 --> 00:20:57,170

Да, наверное

00:20:57,420 --> 00:20:59,680

Просто... Знаешь, они же родители

00:20:59,930 --> 00:21:03,140

В какой-то момент

надо просто их отпустить

00:21:03,390 --> 00:21:04,720

Даже если лучше знаешь жизнь...

00:21:04,970 --> 00:21:07,430

...надо позволить им делать

свои собственные ошибки

00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:08,690

И подумай сам...

00:21:08,940 --> 00:21:11,060

...через несколько лет

мы сами превратимся в них

00:21:11,310 --> 00:21:12,690

Да ну тебя!

00:21:12,940 --> 00:21:15,980

У меня на выбор - превратиться

в блондинку-алкоголичку...

00:21:16,230 --> 00:21:18,780

...бегающую за 20-летними пацанами...

00:21:19,030 --> 00:21:22,370

...или стать таким, как моя мама!

00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:29,410

Как дела?

00:21:29,660 --> 00:21:33,580

Все нормально.

Вот, порвала с Роджером

00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:36,670

Да прямо!

00:21:39,220 --> 00:21:40,380

А что случилось?

00:21:40,630 --> 00:21:42,890

Сама не знаю. То есть...

00:21:43,140 --> 00:21:44,640

Он хороший человек...

00:21:44,890 --> 00:21:47,140

...и умеет быть таким милым

00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:50,270

В каком-то смысле он идеально

мне подходит

00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:51,520

Просто...

00:21:51,770 --> 00:21:54,480

Я его ненавижу!

00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:04,030

Что тут такое?

00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,910

Дайте дорогу фирменному экспрессу

"Голые титьки"

00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,500

Следующая остановка - Рэйчел Грин

00:22:15,290 --> 00:22:17,920

Джои, что с тобой?

00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:22,010

Извини, ошибся титьками!

00:22:33,690 --> 00:22:36,360

Привет, Джои!

00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:39,110

Привет, лапочка!

00:22:39,940 --> 00:22:41,400

Перевод В.Бродового

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