Эпизод, где обезьяна сбегает

00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:09,133

We have Earl Grey, English Breakfast,

cinnamon stick...

00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:13,137

...chamomile, mint medley,

blackberry and, uh...

00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:15,889

Oh, wait, there's one more, um...

Lemon soother.

00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:21,061

You're not the guy that asked

for the tea, are you?

00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:22,896

Okay.

00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:17,826

Mail call. Rachel Green, bunk seven.

00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:19,787

Thank you.

00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:23,874

Oh, cool. A free sample of coffee.

00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,960

Oh, good, because where else

would we get any? Ha, ha.

00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,923

Oh, right.

00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,926

- Oh, great.

- What is it?

00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:36,678

Country club newsletter.

00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:41,600

My mother sends me

the engagement notices for inspiration.

00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,061

Oh, my God.

00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:46,396

Oh, my God. It's Barry and Mindy.

00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:48,482

- Barry, who you almost...?

- Barry, who I almost...

00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,192

- Mindy, your maid of...

- My maid of...

00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,986

Let me see. That's Mindy?

00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:54,446

Wow, she is pretty.

00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,117

Lucky...

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...to have had a friend like you.

00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:09,503

Marcel, bring me the rice.

Come on, bring me the rice. Come on.

00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,630

Good boy. Good bye.

Come here, give me the rice.

00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,382

Thank you. Good boy.

00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:16,718

Well, I see he's mastered the difference

between "bring me the"...

00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:18,762

...and "pee in the."

00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:24,309

"Bring me the" and... Rach?

00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,270

- What?

- Hi.

00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:28,856

Oh, I'm sorry. Oh.

00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:30,732

This is so stupid.

00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:33,193

- I mean, I gave Barry up, right?

- Mm.

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I should be happy for them.

00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:37,698

I am. I'm happy for them.

00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,449

- Really?

- No.

00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:44,413

Oh. Oh, I guess it would be different

if I were with somebody.

00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,790

Whoa, what, uh, ha, ha...

00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:50,460

What happened to, uh,

"Forget relationships.

00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:54,339

I'm done with men"?

The whole, uh, penis embargo?

00:02:58,094 --> 00:03:00,095

Oh, I don't know.

00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:02,264

I guess it's not about no guys.

00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,766

- It's about the right guy, you know?

- Hmm.

00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:08,478

With Barry, it was safe and it was easy,

but there was no heat.

00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:10,105

- Mm.

- You know, with Paolo...

00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:11,815

...that's all there was, was heat.

00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:15,235

And I mean, it was just

this raw, animal, sexual...

00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:17,696

Right, right. I got it.

00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:19,865

I was there.

00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:22,451

I mean, do you think

you can ever have both?

00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:25,078

You know?

Someone who's like your best friend...

00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,623

...but then also can make

your toes curl.

00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,291

Yes, yes.

00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:32,419

Yes. Yes, I do. I really do.

00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,171

Uh, in fact, it's funny.

00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:38,383

Very often, someone who

you wouldn't think could...

00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,886

...curl your toes...

00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,472

...might just be the one who...

00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:44,765

Hi.

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- Gets interrupted. Hi.

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Hey, guys, how was the movie?

00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,020

- Oh, so wonderful.

- Oh, it was so good.

00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:53,106

- Suck fest.

- Total chick flick.

00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,319

I'm sorry it wasn't one of those movies...

00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,821

...with, like, you know, like,

guns and bombs...

00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:02,282

...and, like, buses going really fast.

00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:07,537

Hey, I don't need violence

to enjoy a movie...

00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:09,456

...just so long as there's a little nudity.

00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,876

- There was nudity.

- I meant female nudity.

00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,797

All right, I don't need to see

Lou Grant frolicking.

00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,675

MONICA & CHANDLER & PHOEBE:

Hugh. Hugh Grant.

00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:23,679

All right, I've got to go. Ahem.

00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,430

Come on, Marcel. Come on.

00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:29,434

Yeah, we're gonna go take a bath.

Yes, we are, aren't we? Yes, we are.

00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:32,437

They're still just friends, right?

00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,318

And I will see you tomorrow.

00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:41,571

That's right. You're gonna spend tomorrow

at Aunt Rachel's, aren't you?

00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:44,616

Hang on, hang on.

Does Aunt Monica get a say in this?

00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:47,661

Please, Aunt Monica, please? Ha, ha.

00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,871

Oh, unclench.

You're not even gonna be here.

00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:59,298

CHANDLER:

I can't believe we're having this discussion.

00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:02,634

I agree. I'm, like, in disbelief.

00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,638

Don't you think if things were gonna happen

with Rachel, they would've happened?

00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,349

I'm telling you,

she said she's looking for a relationship...

00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:11,310

...with someone exactly like me.

00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,186

She really said that?

00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:15,564

Well, I added the "exactly like me" part.

00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:21,194

But she said she's looking for someone.

And someone is gonna be there tonight.

00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:22,696

"Tonight" tonight?

00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:25,907

Well, I think it's perfect.

It's just gonna be the two of us.

00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:29,453

She spent all day

taking care of my monkey.

00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:35,292

I can't remember the last time

I got a girl to take care of my monkey.

00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:37,753

[JOEY LAUGHING]

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Anyway, you know, I figured after work,

I'd go pick up a bottle of wine...

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...go over there and, uh, try to woo her.

00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,640

Hey, you know what you should do?

00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:54,353

You should take her back to the 1890s

when that phrase was last used.

00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,525

If you keep this up...

00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,278

...you'll be finished with this sucker

by the end of the week.

00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:06,656

Now, the one in the feathered boa,

that's Dr. Francis.

00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:09,242

Now, she used to be a man.

00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:13,038

Oh, look. See, now, there's Raven.

We hate her.

00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,956

We're glad she's dying.

00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,751

And then... What? Marcel.

00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:21,338

Are you playing with Monica's shoes?

You know you're not supposed to...

00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:24,299

Whoa, whoa.

00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:27,552

Marcel, did you poo in the shoe?

00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,847

Oh, Marcel. Bad monkey.

00:06:31,015 --> 00:06:33,225

Oh, God.

00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,894

Oh.

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Sorry, Barry.

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A little engagement gift.

00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:45,570

I'm sure you didn't register for that.

00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:53,036

[GUNSHOT ON TV]

00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:55,163

Who died? Who died?

00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:59,292

Roll him over. Oh, come on, roll him over.

Oh!

00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:03,880

Well, we know it wasn't Dexter,

right, Marcel? Because...

00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:07,008

Marcel? Marcel? Marc...?

00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:11,304

- How could you lose him?

- I don't know, I don't know.

00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:14,099

We were watching TV,

and then he pooped in Monica's shoe...

00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:18,061

Wait. He pooped in my shoe?

Which one?

00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:21,148

I don't know. The left one.

00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:22,441

Which ones?

00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:26,736

Oh, those little clunky Amish things

you think go with everything.

00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:29,489

- Hey.

GROUP: Hey.

00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:32,284

Whoa, oh.

Why is the air in here so negative?

00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:37,706

- Rachel lost Marcel.

- Oh, no. How?

00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:40,041

- He pooped in my shoe.

- Which one?

00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,502

Those cute little black ones

I wear all the time.

00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:44,671

No, which one? Ha, ha.

00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:46,965

The right or left?

00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:50,093

Because the left one is lucky.

00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,845

Come on, you guys.

What am I gonna do?

00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:54,014

All right, all right, all right.

You're a monkey...

00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,849

...you're loose in the city.

00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,809

Where do you go?

00:07:58,394 --> 00:07:59,769

Okay, it's his first time out...

00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:03,148

...so he's probably gonna want

to do some of the touristy things.

00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:09,070

I'll go to Cats.

You go to the Russian Tea Room.

00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:12,574

Oh, my God! Come on, you guys.

00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,035

He's gonna be home any minute.

He's gonna kill me.

00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,662

Start with the building.

You take the first and second floor.

00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,539

Phoebe and I will take third and fourth.

00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:20,999

Whoa, whoa. What am I gonna do?

00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,793

Okay, you stay here

and just wait by the phone.

00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:27,422

Spray Lysol in my shoe

and wait for Ross to kill you.

00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,008

Does anybody want to trade?

00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,801

[SIGHS]

00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:38,975

What do you want?

00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:42,395

Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey.

Have you seen it?

00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:45,398

I left a Belgian waffle out here.

Did you take it?

00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:46,566

No.

00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:49,277

Why would you leave your Belgian waffle

in the hall?

00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,112

I wasn't ready for it.

00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,114

The monkey, have you seen a monkey?

00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,201

I saw Regis Philbin once.

00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:58,912

Thank you, Mr. Heckles.

00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:02,165

You owe me a waffle.

00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:07,254

Okay, he's a black capuchin monkey

with a white face...

00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:11,591

...with Russian dressing

and pickles on the side.

00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:14,094

Okay, thanks.

00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:16,888

- Hi.

- Hey. How did it go today?

00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,891

- Oh, great. It went great. Really great.

- Yeah.

00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,143

- Hey, is that wine?

- Yeah. Yeah.

00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:23,812

You, uh, want some?

00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,772

- Oh, I would love some.

- Yeah.

00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,441

But you know what? You know what?

Let's not drink it here.

00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:31,152

I'm feeling kind of crazy.

Do you want to go to Newark?

00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:36,908

Uh, okay. Yeah.

00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:40,996

We could do that. But before we head off

to the murder capital of the Northeast...

00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:45,250

...I was, uh, kind of wanted

to run something by you.

00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,670

You know how we were,

you know, talking before...

00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:51,131

...about relationships and stuff, well...

00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:55,302

- Oh, God, Ross, I cannot do this.

- Okay, quick and painful.

00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,604

Oh, God.

00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:08,648

Okay, all right. All right, okay.

00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,150

Ross, please don't hate me.

00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:12,235

Oh, what? What? What?

00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:14,154

[CHUCKLES]

00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,990

You know Marcel?

00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,201

- Yeah?

- Well, ahem.

00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:23,997

I kind of, uh... I kind of lost him.

00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,957

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,722

I can't believe this.

00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:44,476

I mean, all I asked you to do

was keep him in the apartment.

00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:45,852

I know, I know. I'm sorry.

00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,146

You know what?

I guess it's partially my fault.

00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,649

I shouldn't have asked you

to start off with a monkey.

00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:53,818

I should have started you off with, like,

a pen or a pencil.

00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,446

Ross, I'm doing everything that I can.

00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,573

I've got everybody looking

for him and I got...

00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,200

[DOOR BUZZER]

00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,787

- Who is it?

LUISA [OVER INTERCOM]: Animal Control.

00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:07,457

- See, I've even got Animal Control.

- You called Animal Control?

00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,459

Uh-huh.

00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,879

Why? Do you not like them?

00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:19,886

Heh. Marcel is an illegal exotic animal.

00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,557

I'm not allowed to have him in the city.

00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:27,977

If they find him,

they'll take him away from me.

00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:32,273

Okay, well, now, see,

you never ever, ever told us that.

00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:36,528

That's right, because I didn't expect you

we're gonna invite them to the apartment.

00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,531

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,326

Hi. Thanks for coming.

00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:44,911

Somebody called about a monkey?

00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:49,290

Oh. Oh, you know what?

That was a complete misunderstanding.

00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,876

Yeah, we thought we had a monkey,

but we didn't.

00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,461

- It turned out it was a hat.

- Cat.

00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:55,380

Cat. What did I say?

00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,382

Hi. We checked

the third and fourth floor.

00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,092

- No one's seen Marcel.

- Marcel?

00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,427

My uncle Marcel.

00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:03,138

Oh, is that who the monkey's

named after?

00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:04,514

Okay.

00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:07,934

Are you aware that possession

of an illegal exotic is punishable...

00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:11,479

...by up to two years in prison

and confiscation of the animal.

00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,106

PHOEBE:

Oh, my God.

00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,734

You'd put that poor little creature in jail?

00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:25,910

Pheebs, you remember how we talked about

saying things quietly to yourself first?

00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,205

Yes, but there isn't always time.

00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:37,380

Look, I'm sure there's some friendly way

to reconcile this. Um, have a seat.

00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,924

First of all, we haven't been introduced.

I'm Monica Geller.

00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,011

Oh, my God, you are.

00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,597

- And you're Rachel Green.

- Yeah.

00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:49,058

Luisa Gianetti. Lincoln High?

00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:52,353

I sat behind you guys in homeroom.

00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:56,566

Oh! Luisa. Oh, my God.

00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:58,943

Monica. It's Luisa!

00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,154

Luisa. From homeroom.

00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:02,822

Yes!

00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:06,326

- You have no idea who I am, do you?

RACHEL: No.

00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,161

Not at all.

00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:12,582

Well, maybe that's because

you spent four years ignoring me.

00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:16,252

Would it have been so hard to say,

"Morning, Luisa"...

00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:18,421

...or "Nice overalls"?

00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:25,470

Oh, I'm so sorry.

00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:29,557

It's not so much you. You were fat.

You had your own problems.

00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:34,187

But you. What a bitch.

00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:37,315

What?

00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,901

You know what? Be that as it may.

00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:44,364

You think you could you help us out here

on that monkey thing, for old times' sake?

00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,407

Go, Bobcats.

00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,911

I could. But I won't.

00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:53,414

If I find that monkey, he's mine.

00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:56,042

[SINGING]

Da, da, da

00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,171

Sorry.

00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,508

[MARCEL CHATTERING]

00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:05,468

CHANDLER:

Marcel?

00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:06,970

JOEY:

Marcel?

00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:09,180

- Marcel?

- Marcel?

00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:16,938

Hi, can I help you?

00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:25,321

Uh, we're kind of having an emergency,

and, ahem, we were looking for something.

00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:29,200

- A monkey.

- Yes, have you seen any?

00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:32,078

No. No, I haven't seen a monkey.

00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:33,955

Do you know anything

about fixing radiators?

00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:37,584

Sure, sure. Did you try turning the knob

back the other way?

00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:41,379

- Of course.

- Oh. Then, no.

00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:47,302

Taste this daiquiri.

Is there too much rum in here?

00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:50,096

Just a second.

Hope you find your monkey.

00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:52,265

Oh, no, wait. No, no, no. Wait, wait.

00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:55,935

Um, we may not know

about radiators, per se...

00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:58,104

...but we do have a certain amount

of expertise...

00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:00,773

...in the heating and cooling milieu.

00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:06,821

Uh, weren't we kind of in the middle

of something here?

00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:10,408

Yes, but these women are very hot

and they need our help.

00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:13,578

And they're very hot.

00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,707

We can't, all right?

00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,375

We're sorry.

00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:23,546

You have no idea how sorry.

But we promised we'd find this monkey.

00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:26,966

If you see him, he's about yea high

and answers to the name Marcel.

00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:30,678

So if we could get some pictures of you,

you'd really be helping us out.

00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:42,523

Okay, from now on, you don't get

to talk to other people.

00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,109

- Marcel?

- Marcel.

00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,028

PHOEBE & MONICA:

Marcel?

00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:50,865

Marcel?

00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:52,617

- Oh, my God.

- What?

00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,744

Something just brushed up

against my right leg.

00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,412

- What is it?

- Oh.

00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:59,248

Oh, it's okay. It was just my left leg.

00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:00,917

[MARCEL CHATTERING]

00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:02,627

MONICA:

Look, Phoebe.

00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,462

Oh, yeah. Oh, Marcel. Come here.

00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,798

- Oh, come here, Marcel.

- Step aside, ladies.

00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:11,552

- What are you gonna do?

- Just a small tranquilizer.

00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:29,779

PHOEBE:

Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel!

00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:31,823

- Damn.

- Are you okay?

00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,450

Oh, yeah, I think so.

00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,411

Oh.

00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:39,414

Huh.

00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,541

Whoa.

00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,377

Oh, gosh.

00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,929

ROSS & RACHEL:

Marcel. Marcel.

00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,390

This is ridiculous.

We've been all over the neighborhood.

00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:59,142

He's gone. He's just gone.

00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:02,478

- Ross, you don't know that.

- Oh, come on. It's cold, it's dark.

00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:04,981

He doesn't know the Village.

00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,483

And now I have a broken foot. Oh, my...

00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:10,111

I have no monkey and a broken foot.

00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:11,487

Thank you very much.

00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:14,699

Ross, you know, I've said I'm sorry,

like, a million times.

00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:18,286

What do you want me to do? Huh?

You want me to break my foot too?

00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,455

Here, I'm gonna break my foot right now.

Ow!

00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:24,167

Oh, my God. There, are you happy now?

00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:27,211

Yeah, yeah. You know,

now that you kicked the sign...

00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:31,215

...hey, ha, ha,

I don't miss Marcel anymore.

00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:35,845

You know, it's not like

I did this on purpose.

00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:38,389

No, no, no. No, no.

This is just vintage Rachel.

00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:41,142

I mean, things just sort of happen

around you.

00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:44,687

I mean, you're off in Rachel Land,

doing your Rachel thing...

00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:49,776

...totally oblivious to people's monkeys

or to people's feelings and...

00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:52,153

- I don't even want to hear it.

- Ross.

00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:53,738

- Forget it, okay?

- Ross.

00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,656

What? What?

00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:00,745

Hey, banana man.

00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:08,669

Oh, this is so intense.

00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:13,716

One side of my butt is totally asleep

and the other side has no idea.

00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:20,515

Hi. Did you order some bananas?

00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:23,101

- What about it?

- Give me my monkey back.

00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,393

I don't have a monkey.

00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:27,438

- Then what's with all the bananas?

- Potassium.

00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:30,900

[MARCEL CHATTERING]

00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,777

Marcel? Marcel.

00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:36,114

Okay, where is he? Where is he?

Marcel? Marcel?

00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:37,782

[ALL GASPING]

00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,118

Marcel.

00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:42,703

What have you done to him?

00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:45,414

That's my monkey. That's Patty.

Patty the monkey.

00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:48,960

Are you insane?

00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:52,380

- Come here, Marcel. Come on.

- Come here, Patty.

00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,382

Come here, Marcel.

00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:55,883

Come here, Patty.

00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:59,053

Here, monkey. Here, monkey.

Here, monkey.

00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:00,930

Gotcha.

00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:04,392

- Okay, give me my monkey back.

- That's my monkey.

00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,644

You're gonna have to take this up

with the judge.

00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,063

That's not my monkey.

Just the dress is mine.

00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,190

You can send it back whenever.

00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:13,484

- All right, I want my monkey.

- No.

00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:16,696

- Oh, come on, Luisa.

- Sorry, prom queen.

00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:20,116

You had to be a bitch in high school,

you couldn't have been fat.

00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:25,121

All right, look, in high school,

I was the prom queen...

00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:28,666

...and I was the homecoming queen

and the class president and you...

00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,751

...were also there.

00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,420

Look, if you take this monkey...

00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:35,673

...I will lose one of the most

important people in my life.

00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:40,052

You can hate me if you want,

but please do not punish him.

00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:43,472

Come on, Luisa, you have a chance

to be the bigger person here.

00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,266

Take it.

00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,188

No.

00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:51,647

All right.

00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:54,525

Well, then how about I call

your supervisor and I tell her...

00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:57,570

...that you shot my friend

in the ass with a dart.

00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:07,788

Hey, it'll be nice to get this off finally,

won't it?

00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:10,958

Or we can leave it on for now.

That's fine.

00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:15,129

You know, with the right pair of pumps,

that would be a great little outfit.

00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:20,468

Listen...

00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:23,596

I'm sorry I was so hard on you before.

You know, I just...

00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:26,933

No, Ross, come on. No, no. It was my fault.

I almost lost your...

00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,143

No, no. Yeah, but you were the one

who got him back.

00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:30,811

You know, you were great.

00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:38,861

Hey, we still have that bottle of wine.

00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:41,447

Are you in the mood for, uh...

00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:42,949

...something grape?

00:20:43,116 --> 00:20:46,953

- Sure, that would be good.

- All right, uh...

00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,084

Oh.

00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:59,548

The, uh... The neighbors

must be vacuuming.

00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,428

[CLEARS THROAT]

00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:09,308

Well, ah, as long as we're here...

00:21:11,019 --> 00:21:13,938

...and not on the subject, um, ahem...

00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:16,607

I was thinking about, uh...

00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:21,821

...how mad we got at each other before.

00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:29,036

And, um, I was thinking maybe

it was partially because of how we...

00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:31,455

- Rachel?

- Barry?

00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:35,167

I can't. I can't do it. I can't marry Mindy.

00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:39,088

- I'm still in love with you.

- Oh!

00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:47,513

We have got to start locking that door.

00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:58,107

This is me in The Sound of Music.

00:21:58,275 --> 00:22:00,568

- You see the von Trapp kids?

- No.

00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:02,653

That's because I'm in front of them.

00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:05,448

Yeah, I thought that was an alp.

00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,117

Well, high school

was not my favorite time.

00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:10,411

I don't know. I loved high school,

you know?

00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:14,498

It was just, like, four years

of parties and dating and sex and...

00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:17,918

Yeah, well, I went to boarding school

with 400 boys.

00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:21,464

Any sex I had would've involved

a major lifestyle choice.

00:22:24,384 --> 00:22:27,094

Gosh, doesn't it seem like

a million years ago?

00:22:29,514 --> 00:22:31,515

Oh, oh, oh.

00:22:31,808 --> 00:22:33,726

Oh, my butt cheek is waking up.

00:22:38,523 --> 00:22:40,524

[English - US - SDH]

00:00:05,290 --> 00:00:09,040

У нас есть "Эрл Грей", английский

к завтраку, с корицей...

00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:13,010

...ромашковый, "Медли" с мятой,

со смородиной...

00:00:13,260 --> 00:00:17,470

Стоп, был еще один...

Мягкий лимонный!

00:00:17,850 --> 00:00:22,390

Вы не тот, кто заказывал

у меня чай, правда?

00:00:23,270 --> 00:00:26,400

Первый сезон, 19-я серия

"Побег обезьяны"

00:01:14,940 --> 00:01:17,530

Почта пришла! Рэйчел Грин,

камера номер семь

00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:20,370

Спасибо

00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:23,830

О, класс! Бесплатный пробник кофе

00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:28,460

Ой, как хорошо, а то где бы мы

еще взяли кофе?

00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:31,960

Да, точно

00:01:32,090 --> 00:01:33,210

Ну вот, отлично

00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:34,460

Что такое?

00:01:34,710 --> 00:01:36,550

Это клубный бюллетень

00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:42,260

Мать посылает мне объявления

о помолвках для поднятия настроения

00:01:42,510 --> 00:01:43,970

Боже мой!

00:01:44,220 --> 00:01:46,310

Боже мой! Это Барри и Минди!

00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:48,350

- Барри, за которого ты чуть...?

- Барри, за которого я чуть...

00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,150

- И Минди, твоя свиде...

- Минди, моя свиде...

00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,940

Дай посмотреть... Это Минди?

00:01:53,190 --> 00:01:55,860

Ого. А она ничего!

00:01:56,820 --> 00:01:59,490

Особенного...

00:01:59,530 --> 00:02:03,580

...по сравнению с тобой

00:02:06,620 --> 00:02:09,460

Марсель, принеси мне рис.

Давай, быстро неси рис

00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:11,460

Молодец. Умница.

Давай сюда рис

00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:13,460

Спасибо. Умница

00:02:13,710 --> 00:02:16,590

Видишь, он наконец усвоил разницу

между "принеси мне это"...

00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:20,130

...и "нассы в это".

00:02:21,430 --> 00:02:25,810

"Принеси мне" и...

Рэйч?

00:02:26,430 --> 00:02:28,680

Ой, извини

00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,650

Это так глупо!

00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,980

В смысле, я же бросила Барри, да?

00:02:33,230 --> 00:02:35,270

Я должна быть счастлива за них

00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,610

И я... я за них счастлива

00:02:37,860 --> 00:02:40,780

- Правда?

- Нет.

00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:44,370

Наверное, всё было бы по-другому,

если бы... у меня кто-то был

00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:47,040

Ого! А как же...

00:02:47,290 --> 00:02:50,370

...а как же

"Долой эти романы!"

00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:55,590

"Мне надоели мужчины"?

Всё это эмбарго на яйца?

00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,050

Ну не знаю

00:03:00,300 --> 00:03:02,140

Речь идет не о "долой мужчин"

00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,550

А "даешь правильного мужчину",

понимаешь?

00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:05,600

С Барри...

00:03:05,850 --> 00:03:08,980

...было спокойно и легко,

но не было страсти

00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:11,600

А с Паоло не было ничего,

кроме страсти

00:03:11,850 --> 00:03:15,190

В смысле, грубой, животной,

сексуальной...

00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:18,030

Всё, всё! Я понял

00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,240

Я присутствовал

00:03:20,490 --> 00:03:22,660

Как ты думаешь, можно иметь

и то, и другое?

00:03:22,910 --> 00:03:24,950

Чтобы кто-то был тебе

и лучшим другом...

00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:29,120

...и одновременно заставлял

сучить ногами от нетерпения

00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:33,000

Да, да, я так думаю.

Правда-правда

00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:35,170

Вообще забавно получается

00:03:35,420 --> 00:03:38,750

Часто кто-нибудь, насчет кого

ты бы и не подумала...

00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,800

...сучить ногами...

00:03:41,050 --> 00:03:44,640

...может как раз оказаться тем...

00:03:44,890 --> 00:03:46,260

...кого перебивают

00:03:46,510 --> 00:03:48,100

Ну что, ребята, как кино?

00:03:48,350 --> 00:03:49,970

- Отлично!

- Лучше не бывает!

00:03:50,220 --> 00:03:54,600

- Сопли с сахаром.

- Девчачья лабуда.

00:03:55,230 --> 00:03:59,780

Ну извините, что в этом фильме

никого не застрелили и не взорвали...

00:04:00,030 --> 00:04:03,780

...и на автобусах по городу

не гоняли!

00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:07,280

А мне не обязательно, чтобы

в кино было насилие...

00:04:07,530 --> 00:04:10,240

...лишь бы показали немножко

голого тела

00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,330

Там было голое тело

00:04:11,580 --> 00:04:13,830

Я имел в виду

женского голого тела

00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,500

Телодвижения голого Лу Гранта

меня не интересуют

00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:21,170

Хью! Хью Гранта!

00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,720

Ну всё, мне уже пора

00:04:23,970 --> 00:04:25,340

Идем, Марсель. Пошли!

00:04:25,590 --> 00:04:29,560

Мы идем принимать ванну.

Правда, мой хороший?

00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:33,810

Они всё ещё просто друзья, да?

00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:38,270

А мы увидимся с тобой завтра

00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,480

Точно. Завтрашний день

ты проведешь у тети Рэйчел, да?

00:04:41,730 --> 00:04:44,950

Стоп-стоп. А тетя Моника имеет

здесь право голоса?

00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,620

Пожалуйста, тетя Моника,

ну пожалуйста?

00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:51,330

Да расслабься.

Тебя даже здесь не будет

00:04:56,670 --> 00:04:59,040

Как мы вообще можем это обсуждать?

00:04:59,290 --> 00:05:02,880

Согласен. Я прямо...

пребываю в неверии

00:05:03,130 --> 00:05:04,840

Если уж чему-то суждено было

случиться у вас с Рэйчел...

00:05:05,090 --> 00:05:06,550

...то уже как бы давно пора,

да?

00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,180

Говорю вам, она сказала, что

хотела бы быть с кем-то...

00:05:09,430 --> 00:05:11,470

...очень похожим на меня

00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:12,930

Она так и сказала?

00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:16,560

Ну, "очень похожим на меня" -

эту часть добавил я

00:05:16,810 --> 00:05:18,980

Но она сказала, что хотела бы

быть с кем-то, и этот кто-то

00:05:19,230 --> 00:05:21,270

Сегодня вечером как раз

будет там

00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:22,860

"Сегодня" - это сегодня?

00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:25,740

Лучше не придумаешь. Будем

только мы двое

00:05:25,990 --> 00:05:30,740

Она весь день играла

с моей обезьянкой

00:05:31,700 --> 00:05:36,790

Не припомню, когда в последний раз

девушка играла с моей обезьянкой

00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:43,750

Так вот, я подумал после работы

купить бутылку вина...

00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:49,050

...появиться там и приударить

за ней

00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:50,760

Знаешь, что тебе стоит сделать?

00:05:51,010 --> 00:05:55,810

Отправиться с ней в 1890-е годы,

когда это слово еще употреблялось

00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,690

Та, которая в боа из перьев -

это доктор Фрэнсис

00:06:06,940 --> 00:06:09,320

Раньше она была мужчиной

00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,070

О, смотри, а это Рэйвен

00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,950

Мы ее ненавидим

00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,950

Мы рады, что она умирает

00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,620

А потом... Что такое? Марсель!

00:06:17,870 --> 00:06:23,090

Ты играешь с туфлями Моники?

Тебе не разрешается...

00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:27,470

Марсель, ты накакал в туфель?

00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,680

Ой, Марсель! Плохая обезьяна!

00:06:30,930 --> 00:06:34,140

Боже мой! Боже мой!

00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:40,230

Извини, Барри

00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,560

Маленький подарок к помолвке

00:06:42,810 --> 00:06:47,030

Уверена, что в списке такого

не было

00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,490

Кого убили? Кого убили?

00:06:55,740 --> 00:06:59,330

Переверни его! Давай,

переверни его!

00:06:59,580 --> 00:07:03,840

Так, мы знаем, что это не Декстер,

правильно, Марсель? Потому что...

00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,630

Марсель? Марсель?

00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,050

- Как ты могла его потерять?

- Я не знаю, не знаю!

00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:14,970

Мы смотрели телевизор,

потом он накакал Монике в туфель...

00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:17,970

Стоп. Он накакал мне в туфель?

В который?

00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,310

Не знаю

00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,190

В левый!

00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,350

Какие это были туфли?

00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:28,110

Те деревенские лапти, которые,

по твоему мнению, подходят ко всему

00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:34,490

Почему здесь такая негативная

аура?

00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:36,490

Рэйчел потеряла Марселя

00:07:36,740 --> 00:07:37,580

О нет! Как?

00:07:37,830 --> 00:07:40,000

- И он накакал в мой туфель.

- В который?

00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:42,500

В те изящные черные туфельки,

которые я ношу ко всему

00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:44,790

Да нет, в который?

00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,630

В правый или левый?

00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,050

Если в левый - то это к удаче

00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:51,840

Хватит вам! Что мне делать?

00:07:52,090 --> 00:07:53,890

Так. Представь себя обезьяной...

00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,800

...ты потерялась в городе

00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:58,140

Куда бы ты пошла?

00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:03,690

Он впервые вышел в город, захочет

посмотреть достопримечательности

00:08:05,270 --> 00:08:09,440

Я иду на мюзикл "Кошки",

а ты - в "Русскую чайную"

00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,360

Боже мой! Быстрее, ребята!

00:08:12,610 --> 00:08:15,030

Он вернется с минуты на минуту.

Он меня убьет!

00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,740

Осмотрим весь дом. Берите на себя

первый и второй этаж

00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:19,490

Мы возьмем третий и четвертый

00:08:19,740 --> 00:08:21,080

А что мне делать?

00:08:21,330 --> 00:08:23,710

А ты сиди здесь у телефона

00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:27,590

Побрызгай в мой туфель лизолом

и подожди Росса. Он тебя убьет

00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:31,340

Никто не хочет поменяться?

00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:38,850

Чего вам надо?

00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:42,480

Мистер Хеклз, наш друг потерял

обезьяну. Вы ее видели?

00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:46,480

Я здесь оставил бельгийские вафли.

Это вы их взяли?

00:08:46,730 --> 00:08:49,270

А зачем вы оставили их

в коридоре?

00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:50,900

Я был к ним не готов

00:08:51,150 --> 00:08:54,110

А обезьяна? Вы видели обезьяну?

00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,910

Как-то раз я видел Челентано

00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,830

Спасибо, мистер Хеклз

00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,290

Вы должны мне вафли

00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:07,170

Это обезьяна, черный капуцин

с белой мордочкой...

00:09:07,420 --> 00:09:11,750

...с русской подливкой

и солеными огурчиками

00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:12,420

Спасибо

...с русской подливкой

и солеными огурчиками

00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:14,380

Спасибо

00:09:14,630 --> 00:09:15,880

Ну, как прошел день?

00:09:17,050 --> 00:09:20,050

Ой, отлично! Было отлично.

Просто отлично

00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:22,140

Ой, это вино?

00:09:22,390 --> 00:09:23,810

А ты... хочешь?

00:09:24,060 --> 00:09:25,850

Ой, очень хочу

00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:28,400

Но знаешь что? Давай пить не здесь

00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:32,610

У меня безумная идея.

Хочешь поехать в Ньюарк?

00:09:36,990 --> 00:09:41,780

Можно. Но прежде чем мы поедем

в криминальную столицу побережья...

00:09:42,030 --> 00:09:45,160

...я бы хотел кое-что

с тобой обсудить

00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:48,670

Помнишь, как мы раньше говорили...

00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,000

...про отношения и всё такое...

00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:56,840

- О боже, Росс, я не могу, не могу!

- Вот так, быстро и больно.

00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:05,480

О боже!

00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:08,730

Ладно, всё. Так, всё, ладно

00:10:08,980 --> 00:10:10,940

Росс, только не убивай меня

00:10:11,190 --> 00:10:13,690

Что? Что?

00:10:15,110 --> 00:10:18,400

- Знаешь Марселя?

- Да.

00:10:20,450 --> 00:10:25,450

Я его как бы... как бы потеряла

00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:41,510

Я, я, я... не верю своим ушам

00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:44,430

Все, что я просил - это

не выпускать его из квартиры!

00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:45,800

Я знаю, знаю. Ну извини

00:10:46,050 --> 00:10:47,930

Наверное, это частично моя вина

00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:50,930

Не стоило сразу поручать тебе

обезьяну. Для начала надо было...

00:10:51,180 --> 00:10:54,560

...поручить тебе присмотреть

за ручкой или карандашом

00:10:54,810 --> 00:10:56,400

Росс, я делаю все, что могу

00:10:56,650 --> 00:11:01,070

Я уже послала всех его искать,

и я даже...

00:11:01,950 --> 00:11:03,780

- Кто там?

- Служба отлова животных.

00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:08,950

- Я даже вызвала службу отлова.

- Ты вызвала службу отлова животных?

00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:14,370

А что? Ты их недолюбливаешь?

00:11:15,670 --> 00:11:21,380

Марсель - незаконно содержащееся

экзотическое животное

00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:24,340

Мне нельзя держать его дома

в городе

00:11:24,590 --> 00:11:28,560

Если его найдут, его у меня

заберут

00:11:28,810 --> 00:11:32,640

Ну, знаешь, я никогда от тебя

ни о чем подобном не слышала

00:11:32,890 --> 00:11:38,020

Потому что я никогда не думал,

что ты вызовешь их прямо домой!

00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:43,280

Привет! Спасибо за быстрый приезд

00:11:43,530 --> 00:11:45,660

Кто здесь звонил насчет обезьяны?

00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:49,280

Знаете что... это совершеннейшее

недоразумение

00:11:49,530 --> 00:11:51,950

Мы думали, что у нас тут обезьяна,

а ее нет

00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:55,750

- Оказалось, это была картошка.

- Кошка!

00:11:56,540 --> 00:11:59,040

Мы осмотрели третий этаж. Никто

не видел Марселя. - Марселя?

00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:00,380

Моего дядюшку Марселя

00:12:00,630 --> 00:12:04,300

Так обезьяну назвали в честь него?

00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:07,930

Вам известно, что содержание

экзотических животных карается...

00:12:08,180 --> 00:12:11,310

...двумя годами лишения свободы

и конфискацией животного

00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:13,100

Боже мой!

00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:17,230

И вы посадите бедного малыша

в тюрьму?

00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:26,490

Помнишь, что мы говорили насчет

сначала проговаривать слова про себя?

00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:30,740

Ну да, но на это не всегда

хватает времени

00:12:32,660 --> 00:12:37,370

Я уверена, что найдется какой-

нибудь дружеский компромисс.

Присаживайтесь

00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:40,170

Мы еще не познакомились.

Я Моника Геллер

00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:43,000

О боже, это точно ты!

00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:46,260

А ты - Рэйчел Грин!

00:12:46,550 --> 00:12:49,220

Я Луиза Джианети!

Школа имени Линкольна!

00:12:49,470 --> 00:12:53,260

Я сидела сзади вас в классе

для самостоятельной работы

00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:56,560

Луиза! Боже мой!

00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,900

Моника! Это же Луиза!

00:12:59,150 --> 00:13:02,650

Луиза! С самостоятельной работы!

00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:06,190

Вы понятия не имеете, кто я?

00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,110

Нет! Совершенно!

00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:12,830

Может быть, это потому, что вы

четыре года вообще меня не замечали

00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,160

Как будто было так трудно сказать

"Приветик, Луиза"...

00:13:16,410 --> 00:13:19,960

...или "Какой славный комбинезон"

00:13:24,090 --> 00:13:25,420

Ой, прости меня, ради бога!

00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:31,640

Дело тут скорее не в тебе. Ты была

толстая. У тебя были свои проблемы

00:13:31,890 --> 00:13:35,680

А вот ты. Какая стерва!

00:13:36,270 --> 00:13:37,270

Что?

00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,940

Знаешь что? Что было, то было

00:13:40,190 --> 00:13:44,400

Может, выручишь нас с этой

обезьяной по старой памяти?

00:13:44,650 --> 00:13:46,940

Вперед, гёрлскауты!

00:13:47,190 --> 00:13:50,110

Могла бы. Но не буду

00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:54,780

Если я найду обезьяну,

она моя

00:13:58,660 --> 00:14:01,120

Извините

00:14:04,090 --> 00:14:05,550

Марсель? Марсель?

00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,340

Марсель? Марсель?

00:14:15,060 --> 00:14:18,350

Здравствуйте, чем могу помочь?

00:14:21,390 --> 00:14:26,480

У нас тут чрезвычайное происшествие,

мы кое-что ищем

00:14:26,730 --> 00:14:29,150

- Обезьяну.

- Да. Мимо ни одна не пробегала?

00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,030

Нет, я не видела никакой обезьяны

00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:33,950

Вы умете регулировать отопление?

00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:37,910

Конечно! Вы пробовали повернуть

ручку в обратном направлении?

00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:38,950

Конечно!

00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,540

О. Тогда нет

00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,340

Попробуй "дайкири".

Не слишком ли много там рома?

00:14:47,590 --> 00:14:50,050

Секундочку. Желаю вам

найти вашу обезьяну

00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:53,430

Ой, нет, подождите!

00:14:53,430 --> 00:14:55,800

Может, мы и немного знаем

об отоплении как таковом...

00:14:56,050 --> 00:15:02,270

...но зато мы хорошо умеем

создавать нужную... атмосферу

00:15:04,650 --> 00:15:06,900

У нас вроде было какое-то задание,

да?

00:15:07,150 --> 00:15:11,440

Но у этих девушек такая жара,

и им нужна наша помощь

00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:14,820

У них тут ТАКАЯ жара!

00:15:15,990 --> 00:15:17,780

Нельзя нам, понял?

00:15:18,030 --> 00:15:19,450

Нам очень жаль

00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:23,540

Вы даже не представляете, насколько.

Но мы пообещали найти обезьяну.

00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:26,880

Он примерно такого роста

и отзывается на имя Марсель

00:15:27,130 --> 00:15:32,130

И вы бы нас очень выручили,

если бы дали себя сфотографировать

00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:44,020

Отныне я запрещаю тебе

разговаривать с другими людьми

00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:52,490

- О боже!

- Что?!

00:15:52,740 --> 00:15:56,360

Что-то мягко мазнуло меня

по правой ноге. - Что это?

00:15:56,610 --> 00:16:00,740

А, ничего. Это была моя левая нога

00:16:01,370 --> 00:16:02,750

Смотри, Фиби!

00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,120

Ой, Марсель! Иди сюда!

00:16:05,370 --> 00:16:08,380

В сторонку, дамочки

00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:13,090

- Что ты собираешься делать?

- Вкатать маленький укольчик.

00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,560

Беги, Марсель! Беги, Марсель!

00:16:29,810 --> 00:16:30,730

Черт!

00:16:30,980 --> 00:16:31,820

Как ты, нормально?

00:16:32,070 --> 00:16:35,820

Вроде да

00:16:42,830 --> 00:16:45,160

Вот блин!

00:16:55,220 --> 00:16:57,260

Мы оббегали уже всю округу!

00:16:57,510 --> 00:16:59,010

Он пропал! Он просто исчез!

00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:02,350

- Росс, это еще неизвестно.

- Ага! Здесь холодно, здесь темно.

00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,890

И он не знает города!

00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:07,480

А теперь я сломал ногу.

Вот блин...

00:17:07,730 --> 00:17:10,060

У меня нет обезьяны,

зато сломана нога

00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:11,520

Спасибо тебе огромное!

00:17:11,770 --> 00:17:14,570

Росс, я извинилась уже,

наверное, миллион раз

00:17:14,820 --> 00:17:16,440

Что ты от меня еще хочешь?

00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:18,280

Чтобы я тоже ногу сломала?

00:17:18,530 --> 00:17:20,490

Вот, сейчас я ее сломаю

00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:24,240

Ай, боже мой! Ну вот...

теперь ты доволен?

00:17:24,490 --> 00:17:28,120

Да, как только ты лягнула столб...

00:17:28,370 --> 00:17:32,710

...я сразу перестал скучать

по Марселю!

00:17:33,340 --> 00:17:35,840

Ну я же это сделала не нарочно

00:17:36,090 --> 00:17:38,340

Конечно, нет. Это просто

фирменный почерк Рэйчел

00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:40,970

Всё как бы само вокруг тебя

происходит!

00:17:41,220 --> 00:17:44,600

Ты живешь себе в "стране Рэйчел",

делаешь всё "в стиле Рэйчел"...

00:17:44,850 --> 00:17:49,810

...и плевать тебе на чужих обезьян

и на чувства других людей, и...

00:17:50,060 --> 00:17:53,730

Не хочу я этого слышать!..

Мне это надоело, понятно?

00:17:53,980 --> 00:17:56,900

Что? Что?

00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:02,120

Эй, мужик с бананами!

00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,660

Ой, как интересно!

00:18:08,910 --> 00:18:15,460

Одна половинка задницы у меня

в отрубе, а другая - хоть бы хны

00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:20,430

Здравствуйте! Вы заказывали бананы?

00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,140

- А что такое?

- Отдайте мне мою обезьяну!

00:18:23,390 --> 00:18:24,470

У меня нет обезьяны

00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:28,930

- Тогда зачем столько бананов?

- В них калий.

00:18:32,770 --> 00:18:36,110

Так, где он? Где он? Марсель!

00:18:41,530 --> 00:18:42,740

Что вы с ним сделали?

00:18:42,990 --> 00:18:46,870

Это моя обезьянка. Это Пэтти.

Обезьянка Пэтти

00:18:47,490 --> 00:18:48,950

Вы в своем уме?

00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,040

Иди ко мне, Марсель, иди

00:18:51,290 --> 00:18:52,420

Иди ко мне, Пэтти

00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:54,420

Иди ко мне, Марсель

00:18:54,670 --> 00:18:55,590

Иди ко мне, Пэтти

00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:59,260

Эй, обезьянка; сюда, обезьянка

00:18:59,460 --> 00:19:01,550

Попался!

00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,430

- Отдайте мне мою обезьяну!

- Это моя обезьяна.

00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,600

В суде будете рассказывать,

чья это обезьяна

00:19:06,850 --> 00:19:08,930

Это не моя обезьяна.

Моё только платье

00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:11,480

Пришлете его назад,

когда сможете

00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:13,480

А я требую мою обезьяну

00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:15,400

Да что ты, Луиза

00:19:15,650 --> 00:19:16,650

Извини, королева бала

00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:21,650

И надо ж тебе было быть в школе

стервой. Не могла быть толстой!

00:19:22,570 --> 00:19:24,910

Ну да! В старших классах я была

королевой бала...

00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,620

...и королевой встречи выпускников,

и президентом класса, а ты...

00:19:28,870 --> 00:19:30,830

...тоже там училась

00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,000

Если ты заберешь эту обезьяну,

я потеряю...

00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:36,040

...очень важного для меня

в жизни человека

00:19:36,290 --> 00:19:40,000

Можешь меня ненавидеть, если хочешь,

но не наказывай за это его

00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:43,470

Ну, Луиза! У тебя есть возможность

проявить великодушие

00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,050

Не упусти ее!

00:19:51,850 --> 00:19:54,640

Ладно. Тогда я позвоню

твоему начальству и скажу...

00:19:54,890 --> 00:19:59,270

...что ты выстрелила моей подруге

дротиком в задницу!

00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,820

Неплохо было бы снять всё это,

правда?

00:20:08,070 --> 00:20:10,990

Или пока можно оставить.

И так хорошо

00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:16,580

Если правильно подобрать туфли,

костюмчик ему даже пойдет

00:20:19,130 --> 00:20:20,710

Послушай...

00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,550

Извини, что я так на тебя насел...

00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,890

Да ладно. Это я виновата.

Чуть не потеряла твоего...

00:20:27,140 --> 00:20:32,350

Но ты же его и вернула.

Ты просто молодец

00:20:35,020 --> 00:20:38,650

Кстати, у нас еще осталась

та бутылка вина

00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:41,400

Есть желание попробовать

чего-нибудь...

00:20:41,650 --> 00:20:42,730

...виноградного?

00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:47,740

- Да, было бы неплохо.

- Вот и хорошо.

00:20:56,370 --> 00:21:01,040

Соседи, наверное, пылесосят

00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:07,840

Ну, раз уж мы здесь...

00:21:08,090 --> 00:21:10,850

...собрались...

00:21:11,010 --> 00:21:13,970

...немного отходя от темы...

00:21:14,220 --> 00:21:17,940

Я тут думал...

00:21:18,810 --> 00:21:23,320

...как мы только что

друг на друга сердились

00:21:25,610 --> 00:21:29,360

И еще я подумал - может, это

отчасти потому, что мы...

00:21:29,610 --> 00:21:31,450

- Рэйчел?

- Барри?

00:21:31,700 --> 00:21:36,660

Я не могу. Я не могу этого

сделать. Не могу жениться на Минди

00:21:36,830 --> 00:21:40,210

Кажется, я все еще люблю тебя

00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:49,010

Пора уже наконец

начать закрывать эту дверь!

00:21:56,520 --> 00:22:00,740

Это я в "Звуках музыки".

Видите детей фон Траппов?

00:22:00,740 --> 00:22:00,810

Потому что я стою перед ними

Это я в "Звуках музыки".

Видите детей фон Траппов?

00:22:00,810 --> 00:22:03,040

Потому что я стою перед ними

00:22:03,290 --> 00:22:06,000

Я думал, это горная вершина

00:22:06,250 --> 00:22:08,080

Старшие классы - не самое мое

любимое время

00:22:08,330 --> 00:22:10,290

Ну не знаю.

А я любил старшие классы

00:22:10,540 --> 00:22:14,510

Это же... четыре года вечеринок,

свиданий, секса...

00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,970

А я учился в школе-интернате

вместе с четырьмястами мальчиков

00:22:18,220 --> 00:22:22,970

Занятия сексом ТАМ потребовали бы

радикальной смены взглядов на жизнь

00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:28,520

Правда, это было как будто

миллион лет назад?

00:22:31,730 --> 00:22:35,190

Ой, у меня полужопка ожила!