Эпизод со злым ортодонтом

00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:09,842

I would much rather be Mr. Peanut

than Mr. Salty.

00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:13,053

No way. Mr. Salty is a sailor, all right?

00:00:13,221 --> 00:00:15,848

He's gotta be, like,

the toughest snack there is.

00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:20,769

I don't know. You don't

wanna mess with corn nuts.

00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:23,022

They're crazy.

00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,568

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

You gotta come see this.

00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,778

There's some creep out there

with a telescope.

00:00:29,946 --> 00:00:31,196

[RACHEL GASPS]

00:00:32,657 --> 00:00:34,992

I can't believe it. He's looking right at us.

00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,453

Oh, that is so sick.

00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,371

I feel violated.

00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,290

And not in a good way.

00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,083

How can people do that?

00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:45,044

[ALL GROANING AND SCOFFING]

00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:48,505

Oh, you guys, look.

Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots.

00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:45,521

I'm telling you, years from now,

school children will study it...

00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:48,690

...as one of the greatest

first dates of all time.

00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,734

It was unbelievable.

00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:53,904

We could totally be ourselves.

We didn't have to play any games.

00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:57,533

- So have you called her yet?

- Let her know I like her? Are you insane?

00:01:58,326 --> 00:01:59,576

Guys. It's gross.

00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:02,454

It's the next day.

How needy do I wanna seem?

00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,039

I'm right. Right?

00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:05,791

- Let her dangle.

- Yeah, definitely.

00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,042

Oh.

00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,753

I can't believe my parents

are pressuring me...

00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:11,839

...to find one of you people.

00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,716

God. Come on. Just do it.

00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:18,387

Call her. Stop being so testosterone-y.

00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:22,307

Which, by the way,

is the real San Francisco treat.

00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,232

- I got her machine.

- Her answering machine?

00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,776

No, interestingly enough,

her leaf blower picked up.

00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,740

So, um, why didn't you say anything?

00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:41,827

Oh, no, no, no. Last time I left

a spontaneous message...

00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,580

...I ended up using the phrase,

"Yes, indeed-io."

00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:50,460

MONICA: Look, it's Rachel and Barry.

No, no, don't everybody look at once.

00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:53,714

- Okay, okay. What's going on?

- Okay, they're just talking.

00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,549

Yeah, well, does he look upset?

00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:58,260

Does he look like

he was just told to shove anything?

00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:02,639

No. No, actually, he's smiling.

00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:05,100

Oh, my God. Don't do that.

00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,268

What? What? What?

00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:09,813

That man across the street

just kicked that pigeon.

00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:12,357

Oh.

00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:16,361

And basically, that's how

a bill becomes a law.

00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:17,946

GROUP:

Oh.

00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:22,451

- See? Hey, Rach.

- Hey.

00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:24,286

How'd it go?

00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:28,332

You know, it was, uh...

It was actually really great.

00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,417

Took me to lunch

at the Russian Tea Room.

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I had that chicken, you know,

where you poke it and butter squirts out.

00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,256

Not a good day for birds.

00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:38,175

And then we took a walk to Bendel's.

00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:42,137

And I told him not to, but he got me

a little bottle of Chanel.

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That's nice. Now was that before

or after you told him...

00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:51,313

...to stop calling, stop sending you flowers

and to generally leave you alone, huh?

00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:55,651

Right. Well, we never actually got to that.

00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:58,946

Oh, it was just so nice to see him again,

you know? It was...

00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:02,491

It was comfortable and it was familiar.

00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,201

It was just nice.

00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,995

That's "nice" twice.

00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,331

Rachel, what's going on?

00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,959

Isn't this the same Barry

who you left at the altar?

00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,835

Duh. Where have you been?

00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:17,714

Yeah, but it was different with him today.

00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:20,759

He wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy,

you know?

00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:24,680

I mean, we had fun.

Is there anything wrong with that?

00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,266

Yes.

00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:30,978

- Why?

- I have my reasons.

00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:36,066

Okay, how about the fact that

he's engaged to another woman...

00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,318

...who just happens to be

your ex-best friend?

00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:41,571

All right. All right, all right, all right.

I know it's stupid.

00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:45,075

I'll go see him this afternoon

and I will just put an end to it.

00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:46,910

Wow.

00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:50,455

- Wow.

- Ha, ha.

00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,040

Yeah.

00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:55,544

I'm not crazy, right?

I mean, it was never like that.

00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:58,422

No, it wasn't.

00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,678

Oh. It was so nice

having this little sink here.

00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,394

"Oh, Danielle,

I wasn't expecting the machine.

00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,274

Give me a call when you get a chance."

00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,320

Bye-bye.

00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:23,363

Oh, God.

00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:28,535

That's what you've been working on

for the past two hours?

00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,871

Hey, I've been honing.

00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:32,998

What was with the dishes?

00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:36,168

Oh, uh, I wanted her to think

I might be in a restaurant...

00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,463

...you know,

I might have some kind of life.

00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:42,966

Like I haven't been sitting around here

honing for the last two hours?

00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:45,552

He's doing it again.

The guy with the telescope.

00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,429

PHOEBE:

Oh, my God.

00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:52,934

Oh. Go away.

Stop looking in here!

00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,729

Great. Now he's waving back.

00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,815

We gotta do something

about that guy.

00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,318

This morning, I caught him

looking into our apartment.

00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:04,112

It creeps me out. I feel like I can't do stuff.

00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,240

What kind of stuff?

00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:11,870

Will you grow up?

I'm not talking about sexy stuff...

00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,664

...but, like, when I'm cooking naked.

00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,377

You cook naked?

00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:21,713

Yeah, toast, oatmeal.

Nothing that spatters.

00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,719

What are you looking at me for?

I didn't know that.

00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:31,640

What's the matter?

00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:35,060

Oh, I just...

Oh, Barry, this was not good.

00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:38,188

No, it was. It was very, very good.

00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:41,942

- What about Mindy?

- Oh, way better than Mindy.

00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:46,947

No, not that.

I mean, what about you and Mindy?

00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:50,492

Oh. If you want,

I'll just break it off with her.

00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:51,993

No. No, no, no.

00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:54,621

No, don't do that. Not for me.

00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:58,375

BERNICE: Dr. Farber,

Bobby Rush is here for his adjustment.

00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,127

Thanks, Bernice.

00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,879

Let's go away this weekend.

00:07:03,047 --> 00:07:05,340

Oh, Barry. Come on. This is all way too...

00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,134

No, we can go to Aruba.

00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:11,096

When I went there on what

would've been our honeymoon...

00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:14,266

...it was, uh... It was really nice.

You would've liked it.

00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,645

I had a bra.

00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:30,991

Hey, Dr. Farber.

00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:34,411

All right, Miss Green,

everything looks fine.

00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:37,956

Yep, I think we're starting to see

some real progress here.

00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:44,880

- What?

- I'm 12, I'm not stupid.

00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,100

- Can I use your phone?

- Yeah.

00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:59,895

Uh, but for future reference,

um, that thing in your hand...

00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:02,189

...can also be used as a phone.

00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,734

[PHONE RINGS]

00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:07,569

Yes, it's working.

00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,281

Why isn't she calling me back?

00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,366

Maybe she never got your message.

00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:16,995

You know, you could call her machine,

and if she has a lot of beeps...

00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,998

...that means she probably

didn't get her messages yet.

00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:23,960

- You don't think that makes me seem...?

- Desperate? Needy? Pathetic?

00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,422

Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.

00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:33,011

- How many beeps?

- She answered.

00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:38,183

You see, this is where you'd use

that "hello" word we talked about.

00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,186

I'm not going to.

She obviously got my message...

00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:45,232

...and is choosing not to call me.

Now I'm needy and snubbed.

00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,985

God, I miss just being needy.

00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:51,404

GROUP:

Hey.

00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,198

So how'd he take it?

00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,784

Pretty well, actually.

00:08:57,286 --> 00:09:01,831

Uh, Rach. How come you have

dental floss in your hair?

00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:04,668

Oh, do I?

00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,548

We ended up having sex in his chair.

00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:12,050

You had sex in his chair?

00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,558

I said that a little too loudly, didn't I?

00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:22,936

You had what?

00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,814

Sex in his chair.

00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,609

What?

00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:31,194

What were you thinking?

00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:34,489

I don't know.

I mean, we still care about each other.

00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,742

There's a history there.

It's like you and Carol.

00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,953

No. No, no.

00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,706

It's nothing like me and Carol.

00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:46,918

Please. If she said to you,

"Ross, I want you on this couch...

00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,379

...right here, right now,"

what would you say?

00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,967

If it helps I could slide over.

00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,972

It's a totally different situation.

00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,559

It's apples and oranges.

It's orthodontists and lesbians...

00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,269

I gotta go.

00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:07,814

- Where are you going?

- I just have to go, all right?

00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:11,359

Do I need a reason, huh?

I have things to do with my life.

00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:13,695

I have a jam-packed schedule.

00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:17,949

And I am late for keeping up with it,

okay?

00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:20,410

[PHONE RINGING]

00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,912

Hello? Hello?

00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,708

[PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]

00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:29,794

Hello?

00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:33,006

Huh. Mindy.

00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:36,426

Hi. Hey, how are you?

00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:40,597

Yes, yes, I heard. Congratulations.

That is so great.

00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:43,141

Really, oh, God...

00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,018

Okay.

00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,645

Okay, I'm working tomorrow...

00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:50,148

...but if you want,

you can come by if you'd like.

00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,858

Okay.

00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:55,487

Great.

00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,863

All right.

00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:59,574

So I'll see you tomorrow.

00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,951

Okay. Bye.

00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,705

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,292

So how's Mindy?

00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,754

Oh, she wants to see me tomorrow.

00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,799

Oh, she sounded really weird.

I gotta call Barry.

00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,430

Hi, it's me. I just... Ha! Mindy.

00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,600

Mindy. Hi.

00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,352

No, I figured that's where you'd be.

00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,240

[MIMICKING PHONE]

00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:46,371

Hell is filled with people like you.

00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,209

He's back. The peeper's back.

00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,129

- Get down.

- Get down?

00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:55,880

And boogie.

00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:01,344

Thanks, but I gotta go to work

and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.

00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:03,221

Relax. She may not even know.

00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,850

Please, I haven't heard from her

in seven months, and now she calls me.

00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:09,102

I mean, what else is it about?

00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,312

She was my best friend, you guys.

00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,231

We went to camp together...

00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,651

...she taught me how to kiss...

- Yeah?

00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:21,197

Now, you know,

I'm, like, the other woman.

00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:24,284

- Ugh, I feel so...

- Naughty.

00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:28,788

- I'll see you guys later.

- I'll walk out with you.

00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:31,458

When she taught you to kiss,

you were at camp...

00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:34,753

...and were you wearing

any kind of little uniform or...?

00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:38,715

That's fine, yeah.

00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,343

Okay, I'm gonna go the bathroom.

Will you watch my phone?

00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,471

- Why don't you just take it with you?

- Hey.

00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:47,682

We haven't been on a second date.

She needs to hear me pee?

00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,517

Why don't you just call her?

00:12:49,685 --> 00:12:52,896

I can't call her. I left a message.

I have some pride.

00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,898

- Do you?

- No.

00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,947

Danielle, hi.

00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:05,158

Hi, it's Chandler.

00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,619

I'm fine. Ahem.

00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,370

Uh, listen...

00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:13,249

I don't know if you tried to call me

because, uh, idiot that I am...

00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:16,044

...I accidentally shut off my phone.

00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:22,425

Ahem. Oh, okay. That's fine.

That's great. Okay.

00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:25,762

She's on the other line.

She's gonna call me back.

00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:30,725

She's on the other line,

gonna call me back.

00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,228

- Don't you have to pee?

- That's why I'm dancing.

00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,819

- Mindy.

- Hey, you.

00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:42,987

Hey, you.

00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:48,159

So, what's up?

00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,579

Um, we should really be sitting for this.

00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,039

Hmm.

00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,124

Sure we should.

00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:02,549

[SIGHS]

00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:07,303

- So...

- Now, I know things have been weird lately.

00:14:07,471 --> 00:14:10,682

But you're my oldest friend,

except for Laurie Schaefer...

00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,350

...who I don't talk to anymore...

00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:15,103

...because she's bitter

that she lost the weight...

00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,772

...and it turns out,

she doesn't have a pretty face.

00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:23,236

Okay, I'm gonna just ask you this once,

and I want a straight answer.

00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:24,946

Okay.

00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,364

[SIGHS]

00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,825

Will you be my maid of honor?

00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:34,873

- Of course!

- Oh, that's so great!

00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:36,875

It is! It is!

00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,585

[BOTH SCREAMING]

00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:40,837

- Is that all you wanted to ask?

- That's all.

00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,005

[BOTH SHOUTING]

00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:44,507

[CRYING]

00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:46,551

What? What?

00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,219

That's not all.

00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:52,557

- Oh, sure it is.

- Oh, no, it isn't. No.

00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:56,227

I think Barry's seeing someone

in the city.

00:14:57,771 --> 00:14:59,772

What would make you think that?

00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:02,984

Well, ever since we announced

the engagement, he's acted weird.

00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:06,821

And then last night, he came home

smelling like Chanel.

00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:10,700

Really?

00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,621

Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better...

00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:18,333

...when Barry and I got engaged,

he went through a weird thing too.

00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,835

Oh, God.

You see, that's what I was afraid of.

00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:24,923

- What? What's what you were afraid of?

- Okay, okay.

00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:29,928

When Barry was engaged to you,

he and I...

00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:33,890

...kind of had a little thing on the side.

00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,060

- What?

- I know, I know.

00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:39,479

When he proposed to me,

everyone said, "Don't do it.

00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:43,524

He's gonna do to you what he did

to Rachel." And now I feel so stupid.

00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,443

Ha, ha.

00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,821

Hmm. Oh, Mindy.

00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:50,490

Oh, you are so stupid.

00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,119

Oh, we are both so stupid.

00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,663

What do you mean?

00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,709

- Smell familiar?

MINDY: Oh, no.

00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:03,211

RACHEL:

Mm-hm.

00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,380

Oh, I'm so sorry.

00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,341

Oh, no, me. I am so sorry.

00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,843

No, I am sorry. I'm sorry.

00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,401

Oh, my.

00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,989

Four letters, "circle or hoop."

00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:32,532

Ring, damn it, ring.

00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,242

Thanks.

00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,788

You know our phone's not working?

00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,456

What?

00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:44,419

I tried to call you from the coffee shop.

There was no answer.

00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,212

I turned it off.

00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,965

Mother of God, I turned it off.

00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,633

Just like you told her you did.

00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:54,220

Just pointing out the irony.

00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:58,433

So listen, I went across the street

and talked to the doorman.

00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:01,394

I got the peeper's name.

Can I use the phone?

00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:03,187

[GRUNTS]

00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,481

Can I use your phone?

00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:11,904

Yeah, the number

for a Sidney Marks, please.

00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,823

"Heating device."

00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,200

Radiator.

00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:17,994

Five letters.

00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,829

"Rdtor."

00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:26,627

Yeah, is Sidney there?

00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:28,880

Oh, this is?

00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,966

- Sidney's a woman.

- So she's a woman, so what?

00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:34,469

Yeah, yeah, so what?

00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,345

Look, I live across the street...

00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:38,806

...and I know all about you

and your telescope.

00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:40,933

And I don't appreciate it, okay?

00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:43,895

Yeah, I can see you right now. Hello?

00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:47,190

Look, if I wanna walk around my apartment

in my underwear...

00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:50,276

...I shouldn't have to feel like...

Thank you.

00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,073

That's not really the point.

00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,866

The point is, that...

00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,911

- Mostly free-weights, but occasionally...

- Joey.

00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:04,665

Yeah, my neighbor. Yeah, the brunette.

00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,753

She said you looked pretty that day

in the green dress.

00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:12,507

The green dress? Really?

00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:15,343

She said you looked like Ingrid Bergman

that day.

00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:18,054

Heh. No.

00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,183

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:24,310

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,270

- You got a second?

- Sure, sure.

00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:27,897

Come on...

00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:29,357

...in.

00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:30,817

Hello, sweetheart.

00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:36,405

- What you guys doing here?

- Uh, we are here to break up with you.

00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:38,908

Both of you?

00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:43,329

We think you're a horrible human being,

and bad things should happen to you.

00:18:45,999 --> 00:18:48,126

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. God, I am so sorry.

00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,753

I'm an idiot. I was weak.

I couldn't help myself.

00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:54,006

Whatever I did, I only did

because I love you so much.

00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:58,761

Uh, which one of us

are you talking to there, Bar?

00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:00,555

Um...

00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:02,932

Mindy.

00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,810

Mindy, of course, Mindy.

It was always Mindy.

00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:08,479

Even when we were having sex

in that chair?

00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:12,358

I swear, look, whatever I was doing,

I was always thinking of you.

00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:14,402

Oh, please.

00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:17,947

During that second time, you couldn't

have picked her out of a lineup.

00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,198

You did it twice?

00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:22,827

Well, the first time didn't really count.

You know, it was Barry.

00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:24,704

Oh, right.

00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,831

Honey, baby, sweetheart, look...

00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,916

Just give me another chance, okay?

00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:32,128

We'll start all over again.

We'll go back to Aruba.

00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,298

What do you say?

00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:38,426

BERNICE [OVER INTERCOM]:

Dr. Farber, we've got an emergency here.

00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:41,220

Jason Castalano's

choking on his retainer.

00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:44,265

Oh, God. Uh, I'll be right there, Bernice.

00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,726

Look, please,

please don't go anywhere, okay?

00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:50,062

- I'll be right back.

- Okay.

00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:53,232

Okay, and we'll be here, hating you.

00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:57,153

See how he was sweating

when he walked out of here?

00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,697

If I'm hogging the ball,

you jump right in there...

00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:03,576

...and take a couple of punches.

Because I'm telling you, this feels great.

00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:07,622

Yeah, I'm pretty sure

I'm still gonna marry him.

00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:10,917

What are you talking about?

00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:13,878

Mindy, the guy is the devil.

00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,214

He is Satan in a smock.

00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,883

Look, I know he's not perfect.

00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,384

[GRUNTS]

00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,972

But the truth is,

at the end of the day...

00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:27,600

...I still really wanna be...

00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:31,395

...Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber...

00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:33,689

...D.D.S.

00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:35,858

Oh, God.

00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,737

I hope you can find some way

to be happy for me.

00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,365

And I hope you'll still be

my maid of honor.

00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:46,702

And I hope Barry doesn't kill you

and eat you in Aruba.

00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:55,503

You okay?

00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:57,296

Yeah.

00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,590

Really?

00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:01,592

Yeah.

00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:04,512

You know, ever since I ran out on Barry

at the wedding...

00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,640

...I have wondered

whether I made the right choice.

00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:10,059

Oh. And now I know.

00:21:11,144 --> 00:21:12,853

MONICA:

I'm so glad.

00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,776

Big day.

00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,621

All right, I'll give you this:

Mr. Peanut is a better dresser.

00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:33,833

I mean, he's got the monocle,

he's got the top hat...

00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,876

Did you know he's gay?

00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:43,092

I just wanna clarify this.

Are you outing Mr. Peanut?

00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:47,054

- Chandler?

- Danielle, hi.

00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:49,765

Everybody, this is Danielle.

Danielle, everybody.

00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:51,142

GROUP:

Hi.

00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,728

- What are you doing here?

- I've been calling you...

00:21:53,895 --> 00:21:55,938

...but it turns out

I had your number wrong.

00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:59,442

And when I finally got the right one

from Information, there was no answer.

00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:02,611

So I thought I'd just come down here

and make sure you were okay.

00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:05,406

Oh, uh, I'm okay.

00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:08,117

Listen, uh, maybe we could

get together later?

00:22:08,618 --> 00:22:11,620

That sounds good. I'll call you.

Or you call me, whatever.

00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:12,955

- You know.

- Ha, ha.

00:22:13,123 --> 00:22:14,498

- You got it.

CHANDLER: Okay.

00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:16,584

- Bye, everybody.

GROUP: Bye.

00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:20,046

Woo-hoo! Yeah, there you go.

00:22:20,213 --> 00:22:22,006

Second date.

00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:23,924

I don't know.

00:22:24,092 --> 00:22:25,301

RACHEL:

You don't know?

00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:29,221

Oh, she seems nice, but that thing

about her coming all the way here...

00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:32,808

...just to see if I was okay?

I mean, how needy is that?

00:22:32,976 --> 00:22:34,685

[ALL GROANING]

00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:40,858

[English - US - SDH]

00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:09,970

Если уж кем и быть, то только

мистером Арахисом, а не Кальмаром

00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:12,800

Да ты что! Мистер Кальмар -

он же моряк

00:00:13,050 --> 00:00:17,390

Да он, типа... самая боевитая

закуска к пиву в мире

00:00:17,390 --> 00:00:21,150

Ну не знаю. С арахисом тоже

лучше не связываться

00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:24,520

Он - кр-репкий орешек!

00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,530

Боже мой, боже мой!

Посмотрите туда

00:00:27,780 --> 00:00:32,240

Там какой-то маньяк

с телескопом!

00:00:32,660 --> 00:00:35,240

Глазам не верю! Он смотрит

прямо на нас!

00:00:35,490 --> 00:00:37,410

Вот блин, больной на голову!

00:00:37,660 --> 00:00:39,290

Меня как будто изнасиловали

00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,250

И не в хорошем смысле

00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:44,630

Как такое можно делать?

00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:50,050

Ребята, смотрите! Гадкий Голый

Дядька купил ботинки на пружинах!

00:00:51,430 --> 00:00:54,430

Первый сезон, 20-я серия

"Неправедный стоматолог"

00:01:41,850 --> 00:01:45,180

Говорю вам, через много лет

дети в школе будут изучать...

00:01:45,430 --> 00:01:48,940

...одно из лучших первых

свиданий всех времен

00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:50,360

Было просто потрясающе

00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:53,690

Мы были сами собой.

Никто не играл ни в какие игры

00:01:53,940 --> 00:01:54,740

Ты ей уже звонил?

00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:57,860

Чтобы дать понять, как она

мне нравится? Ты сбрендила?

00:01:58,110 --> 00:01:59,370

Фу, мужики!

00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,160

На следующий день? Вы хотите,

чтобы я выглядел просителем?

00:02:02,410 --> 00:02:03,740

Я прав. Прав?

00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,120

Да, пусть она за тобой бегает

00:02:07,420 --> 00:02:09,920

Аж не верится, что мои родители

давят на меня, требуя...

00:02:10,170 --> 00:02:11,750

...найти себе одного из вас

00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,550

О боже! Брось это. Не выпендривайся

00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:19,720

Позвони ей. Не будь таким

куском мужского достоинства

00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:24,020

Кстати, в Сан-Франциско подают

такое блюдо

00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:30,020

- Я попал на автомат.

- Автоответчик?

00:02:30,270 --> 00:02:34,110

Нет! Что интересно, трубку

поднял автомат Калашникова

00:02:36,110 --> 00:02:38,360

И почему ты ничего не сказал?

00:02:38,610 --> 00:02:41,280

Нет-нет. В прошлый раз я

импровизировал...

00:02:41,530 --> 00:02:45,910

...и закончил словами,

"Где уж нам уж выйти замуж!"

00:02:46,660 --> 00:02:50,210

Смотрите, это Рэйчел и Барри.

Не надо пялиться на них вместе

00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:51,960

Так! Что там у них?

00:02:52,210 --> 00:02:53,460

Они просто разговаривают

00:02:53,710 --> 00:02:55,250

Он расстроен?

00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:59,590

Он выглядит так, вроде ему

сказали сто раз отжаться?

00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,550

Да нет. Вообще-то улыбается

00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,890

Боже мой! Не смей этого делать!

00:03:05,140 --> 00:03:06,060

Что? Что? Что?

00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:10,940

Мужик на той стороне улицы

пнул ногой голубя

00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:18,860

В общем, примерно так

законопроект становится законом

00:03:18,940 --> 00:03:19,860

Поняли?

00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:22,320

Привет, Рэйч

00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,030

Как прошла встреча?

00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:28,160

Знаете, вообще-то было неплохо

00:03:28,410 --> 00:03:30,290

Мы пообедали в "Русской чайной"

00:03:30,540 --> 00:03:33,750

Я ела такое блюдо из курицы -

если ткнуть вилкой, брызгает масло

00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,000

Да, паршивый сегодня день у птиц

00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,010

Потом мы зашли в пару магазинов

00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:42,510

И хотя я упиралась, он купил мне

флакончик "Шанель"

00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:43,720

Как мило

00:03:43,970 --> 00:03:46,470

А скажи, это до того или после

ты сказала ему...

00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:51,350

...больше не звонить, не посылать

цветы и оставить тебя в покое?

00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,400

Ну да

00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:55,440

Вообще-то до этого дело не дошло

00:03:55,690 --> 00:03:58,610

Просто было приятно снова

его увидеть, понимаете?

00:03:58,860 --> 00:04:02,570

Было так спокойно, всё по-старому

00:04:02,820 --> 00:04:04,280

Было просто славно

00:04:04,530 --> 00:04:07,870

Славно, как недавно!

00:04:07,870 --> 00:04:08,950

Рэйчел, что с тобой?

00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,870

Разве это не тот Барри, которого

ты бросила у алтаря?

00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,130

А куда, кстати, ты пошла?

00:04:15,580 --> 00:04:17,500

Но сегодня с ним все было по-другому

00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:20,510

Он был не такой, знаете ли,

весь из себя стоматолог

00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:26,050

Нам было хорошо вместе!

Разве это плохо?

00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:28,470

Почему?

00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:32,060

У меня свои причины так говорить

00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:35,980

А как насчет того, что он обручен

с другой женщиной...

00:04:36,230 --> 00:04:38,860

...к тому же твоей бывшей

лучшей подругой?

00:04:39,110 --> 00:04:41,360

Ладно, ладно! Сама знаю,

что это глупо

00:04:41,610 --> 00:04:46,410

Я пойду к нему после обеда

и положу этому конец

00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:55,750

Я же не сошла с ума, а?

По-моему, так хорошо еще не было

00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,380

Нет, не было!

00:05:01,630 --> 00:05:06,050

Эта маленькая раковинка

так удобно тут стоит

00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:13,770

"О, Даниэла, не ожидал попасть

на автоответчик."

00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:18,360

"Позвони мне, когда у тебя

будет время."

00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,440

Пока

00:05:21,690 --> 00:05:24,400

О боже!

00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:28,700

Ты ЭТО репетировал последние

два часа?

00:05:28,950 --> 00:05:31,370

Меня бил мандраж

00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:32,750

А зачем гремел посудой?

00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,000

Пусть она подумает, что я

где-нибудь в ресторане...

00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:40,340

...что у меня есть своя жизнь.

Что я не сижу здесь...

00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,840

...в мандраже последние два часа,

понимаешь?

00:05:43,090 --> 00:05:45,300

Смотрите, тот тип с телескопом

опять на нас смотрит!

00:05:45,550 --> 00:05:48,800

Боже мой!

00:05:49,010 --> 00:05:52,810

Пошел прочь! Не смотри сюда!

00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:56,940

Ну вот. Теперь он машет в ответ

00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,560

Надо что-то с ним делать

00:05:58,810 --> 00:06:01,070

Утром я застал его за

подглядыванием в нашу квартиру

00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,570

Меня это пугает!

Мне неловко делать разные вещи

00:06:04,820 --> 00:06:08,200

Какие еще вещи?

00:06:08,780 --> 00:06:11,620

Ты как маленькая! Я не говорю

о чем-то сексуальном...

00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:16,040

...а, например, когда я

готовлю еду в голом виде

00:06:16,830 --> 00:06:18,040

Ты готовишь в голом виде?

00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:23,210

Ну да - тосты, овсянку.

То, что не брызгает маслом

00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:29,260

Чего вы на меня смотрите?

Я сам не знал

00:06:30,050 --> 00:06:31,930

В чем дело?

00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:34,770

Я просто... Барри, это

было ужасно

00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:38,390

Неправда. Это было очень хорошо

00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:39,810

А как же Минди?

00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:43,270

О, намного лучше, чем с Минди

00:06:43,980 --> 00:06:47,110

Я не о том! А как же вы с Минди?

00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:51,820

А... Если хочешь, я сейчас же

с ней расстанусь

00:06:51,990 --> 00:06:54,410

Нет, не надо. Только не ради меня

00:06:54,660 --> 00:06:58,160

Доктор Фарбер, Бобби Раш пришел

на исправление прикуса

00:06:58,410 --> 00:07:00,460

Спасибо, Бернис

00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:03,340

Давай уедем на выходные

00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,170

Барри, не надо. Это уже слишком...

00:07:05,420 --> 00:07:07,510

Мы можем поехать на Арубу

00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,840

Когда я ездил туда на наш

неудавшийся медовый месяц...

00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:15,600

...там было очень хорошо.

Тебе бы понравилось

00:07:16,390 --> 00:07:19,520

На мне был лифчик

00:07:29,820 --> 00:07:30,740

Здрасьте, доктор Фарбер

00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:34,830

Так, мисс Грин, вроде все в порядке

00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:39,290

Наконец-то у нас там

все налаживается

00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,210

Что?

00:07:42,460 --> 00:07:46,210

Мне двенадцать лет,

но я не дебил

00:07:54,970 --> 00:07:57,010

Можно позвонить по твоему телефону?

00:07:57,260 --> 00:07:59,850

На будущее знай: ту штуку

у тебя в руке...

00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:03,520

...тоже можно использовать

в качестве телефона

00:08:06,020 --> 00:08:08,900

Да, он работает

00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,400

Почему же она не звонит?

00:08:11,650 --> 00:08:13,110

Может, еще не получила твое

сообщение

00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,740

Можно позвонить ей на автоответчик,

и если там много гудков...

00:08:16,990 --> 00:08:19,750

...значит, она еще не прочитала

сообщения

00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,370

А от этого я не кажусь вам...?

00:08:21,620 --> 00:08:24,460

Отчаявшимся? Жалким?

Суетливым?

00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:28,750

Ты, наверное, читал мое резюме

00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,090

Сколько гудков?

00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:34,390

Она ответила

00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:38,600

В этот момент говорят "алло",

как я тебя раньше учила

00:08:38,850 --> 00:08:41,390

Я не буду с ней разговаривать.

Она явно слышала мое сообщение...

00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:46,230

...и решила сама мне не звонить.

Вот теперь я жалкий и оплеванный.

00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:50,230

Как хочется опять стать

просто жалким!

00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,990

Ну, как всё прошло?

00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:57,120

Вообще-то довольно неплохо

00:08:58,530 --> 00:09:02,710

Рэйчел, откуда у тебя в волосах

зубная нить?

00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,920

- О, правда?

- Ага.

00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:09,960

Кончилось все это сексом

в его кресле

00:09:10,210 --> 00:09:13,380

Вы трахались в его кресле?

00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:20,430

Я немножко громковато

это сказала, да?

00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:23,350

Что вы делали?

00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:27,100

Трахались в его кресле

00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:29,360

Что...

00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:30,980

Чем ты думала?

00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:34,610

Я не знаю. Мы до сих пор

друг другу небезразличны

00:09:34,860 --> 00:09:39,080

У нас есть прошлое.

Как у тебя с Кэрол

00:09:40,410 --> 00:09:42,450

Здесь нет ничего общего

со мной и Кэрол

00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:46,710

Я тебя прошу! Если она скажет тебе

"Росс, я хочу тебя на диване...

00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,710

...прямо здесь и сейчас",

что ты ответишь?

00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:55,300

Если я мешаю, могу подвинуться

00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:58,720

Нет, это совершенно другая

ситуация

00:09:58,970 --> 00:10:02,220

Тут одно, а там другое. Тут

дантисты, а там лесбиянки...

00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:04,850

Мне пора идти

00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:07,480

- Куда ты?

- Мне просто надо идти!

00:10:07,730 --> 00:10:11,020

Я должен оправдываться?

У меня в жизни много всяких дел

00:10:11,270 --> 00:10:13,530

У меня очень плотное расписание

00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:18,860

И я уже опаздываю по всем пунктам,

понятно?

00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:33,880

Минди!

00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:36,090

Привет, как дела?

00:10:36,340 --> 00:10:40,300

Д, я слышала. Поздравляю!

Это так здорово!

00:10:40,550 --> 00:10:44,100

Правда, ой, боже мой...

00:10:45,060 --> 00:10:46,390

Я завтра работаю...

00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:51,610

...но если хочешь, можешь зайти,

если хочешь

00:10:51,810 --> 00:10:54,530

Отлично!.. Отлично!..

00:10:56,820 --> 00:11:00,200

Тогда... увидимся завтра

00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:02,910

Пока

00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,410

О боже! О боже! О боже! О боже!

00:11:07,460 --> 00:11:10,620

И как там Минди?

00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:12,420

Она хочет завтра увидеться

00:11:12,670 --> 00:11:16,300

У нее был странный голос.

Мне надо позвонить Барри.

00:11:19,550 --> 00:11:21,140

Привет, это я. Мне надо...

00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:23,430

Минди!

00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,220

Минди, привет!

00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:28,680

Нет, я угадала,

где ты можешь быть

00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:48,160

Именно такими людьми...

и населен ад

00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:52,380

Он опять. Он опять подглядывает

00:11:52,630 --> 00:11:54,630

- Ложись!

- Ложись?

00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,590

И шире ноги

00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:01,590

Спасибо, но мне пора. Минди

придет выцарапывать мне глаза

00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,470

Успокойся. Может, она и не знает

00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:07,100

Она молчала семь месяцев,

а теперь вдруг звонит мне

00:12:07,350 --> 00:12:09,270

Что еще это может быть?

00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,400

Она была моей лучшей подругой,

ребята

00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:11,520

Мы вместе ездили в лагерь...

Она была моей лучшей подругой,

ребята

00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,070

Мы вместе ездили в лагерь...

00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,740

...и она учила меня целоваться...

00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,030

А теперь я, понимаете, как будто

другая женщина!

00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:22,490

Я чувствую себя такой...

00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:25,710

Развратной!

00:12:26,210 --> 00:12:28,790

- Всем пока.

- Я с тобой пройдусь.

00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,170

Рэйч, когда она учила тебя

целоваться, там, в лагере...

00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:36,130

...на вас была форма с

коротенькими юбочками или...?

00:12:36,510 --> 00:12:39,680

Ладно, понял

00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:42,220

Я иду в туалет. Возьмешь трубку,

если что?

00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,310

Так взял бы телефон с собой!

00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:47,600

Мы виделись всего один раз. Хочешь,

чтобы она слышала, как я писаю?

00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,400

Почему ты ей просто не позвонишь?

00:12:49,650 --> 00:12:52,730

Я не могу ей звонить. Я оставил

сообщение. У меня есть гордость

00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:55,440

- Правда?

- Нет!

00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:02,780

Даниэла, привет!

00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:05,080

Это Чендлер

00:13:05,330 --> 00:13:08,250

У меня все хорошо

00:13:08,410 --> 00:13:09,210

Послушай...

00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:13,130

Не знаю, звонила ли ты мне,

потому что, будучи полным идиотом...

00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:17,220

...я случайно выключил телефон

00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:22,720

Хорошо. Отлично. Ну всё

00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:26,470

Она на другой линии,

она мне перезвонит.

00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,650

Она на другой линии,

она мне перезвонит!

00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:34,650

- Ты вроде хотел в туалет?

- Потому я и танцую.

00:13:38,530 --> 00:13:39,490

Минди

00:13:39,740 --> 00:13:41,160

Здорово, подруга

00:13:41,410 --> 00:13:43,780

Здорово, подруга

00:13:46,830 --> 00:13:49,290

Так что случилось?

00:13:49,540 --> 00:13:53,000

Для этого разговора нам нужно сесть

00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:56,250

Конечно, нужно сесть

00:14:03,430 --> 00:14:04,260

Итак...

00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,140

В последнее время между нами

происходило много всякого

00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:10,440

Но ты - моя самая старая подруга,

не считая Лори Шефер...

00:14:10,690 --> 00:14:12,020

...с которой мы больше

не разговариваем...

00:14:12,270 --> 00:14:14,770

...потому что ее зло берет,

что после похудения...

00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:18,900

...от ее красоты на лице

ничего не осталось

00:14:19,820 --> 00:14:24,660

Я спрошу тебя один раз,

и мне нужен прямой честный ответ

00:14:26,870 --> 00:14:30,200

Ты будешь моей свидетельницей?

00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:33,670

Конечно!

00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,380

Ой, как здорово!

00:14:35,630 --> 00:14:37,880

Ой, как здорово!

00:14:38,130 --> 00:14:41,880

- И это всё, что ты хотела?

- Это всё!

00:14:44,510 --> 00:14:46,260

Что?

00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,890

Нет, это еще не все

00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:49,930

Нет-нет, всё!

00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:53,560

Нет-нет, не всё!

00:14:53,730 --> 00:14:57,650

Я думаю, Барри встречается

с кем-то в городе

00:14:57,860 --> 00:14:59,730

У тебя есть какие-то причины

так думать?

00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:02,900

С тех пор, как мы объявили

о помолвке, он ведет себя странно

00:15:03,150 --> 00:15:08,240

А вчера вечером от него

вовсю несло духами "Шанель"!

00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,500

Правда?

00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,540

Минди, если тебе от этого

полегчает...

00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:18,170

...когда мы с Барри обручились,

с ним тоже творилось что-то странное

00:15:18,420 --> 00:15:20,670

О боже! Вот этого я и боялась

00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:24,800

Чего именно ты боялась?

00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:29,720

Когда Барри был обручен с тобой,

мы с ним...

00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:34,440

...немножко развлекались

на стороне

00:15:34,690 --> 00:15:35,480

Что?

00:15:35,730 --> 00:15:36,850

Я знаю, знаю

00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:39,360

Когда он сделал мне предложение,

все говорили: "Не надо."

00:15:39,610 --> 00:15:41,400

"Он поступит с тобой так же,

как поступил с Рэйчел."

00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:44,950

И теперь я чувствую себя такой

дурой

00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:51,910

Да, Минди, ты и есть дура

00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,000

Мы обе - такие дуры

00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:58,000

Ты о чем?

00:15:59,090 --> 00:16:01,960

Знакомый запах?

00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,590

Прости меня

00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,180

Нет, нет. Это ты меня прости

00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:12,020

Нет, ты меня прости. Прости меня!

00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:27,610

Ой-ой-ой!

00:16:28,410 --> 00:16:30,870

Пять букв, "вопросительное слово"

00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,370

Когда, блин, когда!

00:16:32,620 --> 00:16:35,540

Спасибо

00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:38,670

Вы знаете, что наш телефон

не работает?

00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,000

Что?

00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,960

Я только что звонил из кафе

00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:46,050

- Никто не отвечал.

- Я его выключил.

00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:48,890

Матерь божья, я его выключил!

00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:52,060

Точно так, как ты сам ей сказал

00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,310

Я только подчеркиваю

иронию судьбы

00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,440

Я пошел в дом напротив

и поговорил с консьержкой

00:16:58,690 --> 00:17:02,820

И узнал имя подглядывателя.

Можно мне позвонить?

00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,490

Можно позвонить по твоему

телефону?

00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:11,910

Номер Сидни Маркса, пожалуйста

00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,620

"Отопительный прибор"

00:17:14,870 --> 00:17:15,950

Радиатор

00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,750

Пять букв

00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,000

Рдтор

00:17:24,250 --> 00:17:26,970

Алло, а Сидни можно?

00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:28,800

А, это вы?

00:17:29,050 --> 00:17:29,970

Сидни - женщина

00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:32,220

Ну женщина, так что?

00:17:32,470 --> 00:17:34,390

Да, так что?

00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:38,810

Я живу напротив через улицу

и всё знаю про ваш телескоп

00:17:39,060 --> 00:17:40,810

И мне это не нравится, поняли?

00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,980

Да, я вас сейчас вижу. Привет!

00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:47,110

Когда я хожу по квартире

в одних трусах...

00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,030

...мне не хочется, чтобы...

00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,700

Спасибо

00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:54,830

Но дело не в этом

00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,620

Дело в том, что...

00:17:56,870 --> 00:18:01,040

В основном с гантелями,

но иногда...

00:18:01,870 --> 00:18:05,800

Да, моя соседка. Да, брюнетка

00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:09,760

Она сказала, что ты была очень

хорошенькая в том зеленом платье

00:18:10,010 --> 00:18:11,300

В зеленом платье?

00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:12,340

Правда?

00:18:12,590 --> 00:18:16,180

Она сказала, что ты была похожа

на Ингрид Бергман

00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:26,150

- Есть минутка?

- Да, конечно.

00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:27,780

Заходи...

00:18:28,030 --> 00:18:28,820

...те

00:18:29,070 --> 00:18:31,320

Привет, наша радость

00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:33,320

Что вы здесь делаете?

00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:37,330

Мы пришли сюда,

чтобы бросить тебя

00:18:37,580 --> 00:18:38,870

Что, обе?

00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:44,750

Мы думаем, что ты ужасный человек,

и тебе суждено гореть в аду

00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,000

Простите меня. Ради бога, простите!

00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:50,630

Я идиот! Это была слабость!

Я ничего не мог с собой поделать

00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:55,430

Все, что я делал, я делал

только из любви к тебе

00:18:56,390 --> 00:19:00,220

С кем из нас ты сейчас

разговариваешь?

00:19:01,730 --> 00:19:02,850

С Минди

00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,810

Конечно, с Минди!

Для меня всегда была только Минди

00:19:06,060 --> 00:19:08,610

Даже когда мы трахались

в твоем кресле?

00:19:08,860 --> 00:19:12,200

Клянусь, что бы у нас ни было,

я всегда думал о тебе

00:19:12,450 --> 00:19:14,200

Я тебя прошу!

00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:17,870

Во время того второго раза ты бы,

небось, и в лицо ее не узнал!

00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:19,990

У вас это было два раза?

00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,710

Первый раз не считается.

Сама знаешь - это же Барри

00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,790

А, ну да

00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,670

Лапочка, солнышко, зайчик,

послушай...

00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,750

Дай мне еще один шанс, хорошо?

00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:33,550

Мы начнем все сначала.

Мы опять поедем на Арубу

00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:35,260

Что ты на это скажешь?

00:19:35,510 --> 00:19:38,180

Доктор Фарбер, у нас тут

срочное дело

00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:41,100

Джейсон Кастелано

подавился ретейнером

00:19:41,350 --> 00:19:44,100

О боже! Я сейчас, Бернис

00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,440

Никуда не уходите, хорошо?

00:19:46,690 --> 00:19:50,110

Я сейчас вернусь

00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:53,740

Давай! А мы пока тут на тебя

позлимся!

00:19:53,990 --> 00:19:57,030

Видела, какой он был потный,

когда выходил?

00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,540

Я не слишком пережимаю? Если что,

то включайся и ты...

00:20:00,790 --> 00:20:04,620

...и отвесь ему пару пинков.

Это так приятно!

00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:08,380

Ага. Но я все-таки решила,

что выйду за него замуж

00:20:08,630 --> 00:20:10,800

Что ты такое говоришь?

00:20:11,050 --> 00:20:13,800

Минди, этот мужчина насквозь

испорчен!

00:20:14,050 --> 00:20:16,630

Да он сам Сатана в белом халате!

00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:20,310

Слушай, я знаю, что он не идеал

00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,810

Но, честно говоря, в конце дня...

00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:27,400

...я все-таки хочу быть...

00:20:27,650 --> 00:20:31,360

...миссис доктор Барри Фарбер...

00:20:31,610 --> 00:20:33,990

...стоматология и ортодонтия

00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:35,990

О боже!

00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,570

Я надеюсь, ты все-таки сможешь

быть за меня счастливой

00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:43,240

И я надеюсь, что ты все-таки

будешь моей свидетельницей

00:20:43,490 --> 00:20:48,080

А я надеюсь, что Барри тебя

не убьет и не съест на Арубе

00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,840

Ты как, нормально?

00:20:57,970 --> 00:21:00,800

Правда?

00:21:01,850 --> 00:21:04,390

С тех пор, как я сбежала от Барри

на свадьбе...

00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:08,140

...я все думала, правильно ли я

поступила

00:21:08,390 --> 00:21:10,770

И теперь я знаю

00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:14,150

Я так рада

00:21:16,820 --> 00:21:19,990

День удался

00:21:27,290 --> 00:21:30,670

Так, а что ты скажешь на это:

мистер Арахис лучше одевается.

00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,840

У него тебе и монокль,

и модная шляпа...

00:21:34,090 --> 00:21:37,300

А ты знал, что он голубой?

00:21:39,130 --> 00:21:44,600

Я хочу прояснить ситуацию. Ты что,

дискредитируешь мистера Арахиса?

00:21:45,770 --> 00:21:47,180

Даниэла, привет!

00:21:47,430 --> 00:21:51,270

Все, это Даниэла.

Даниэла, это все

00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:52,520

А как ты здесь оказалась?

00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:55,900

Я тебе названивала, но похоже,

неправильно записала номер

00:21:56,150 --> 00:21:59,360

А когда я узнала номер по

справочной, никто не отвечал

00:21:59,610 --> 00:22:04,330

И я вот подумала придти сюда

и проверить, все ли в порядке

00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:05,410

Да, все нормально

00:22:05,660 --> 00:22:08,540

Слушай, тогда, может,

встретимся еще?

00:22:08,790 --> 00:22:13,330

Отлично. Я тебе позвоню.

Или ты позвони, неважно

00:22:13,330 --> 00:22:14,540

Договорились!

00:22:14,790 --> 00:22:17,210

Всем пока

00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:20,170

Вот видишь

00:22:20,430 --> 00:22:22,180

Грядет второе свидание!

00:22:22,430 --> 00:22:24,100

Ну не знаю

00:22:24,350 --> 00:22:25,430

Ты не знаешь?

00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,270

Она ничего, но каково это:

придти аж сюда проверить...

00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:34,520

...все ли у меня в порядке?

Это же как-то унизительно!