Эпизод с фальшивой Моникой

00:00:05,213 --> 00:00:07,673

I have no idea.

Look how much they spent!

00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:11,593

Calm down. You only have to pay

for the stuff you bought.

00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,513

Still, it's just such reckless spending.

00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,598

When somebody steals your credit card...

00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:19,810

...they've kind of already

thrown caution to the wind.

00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:28,068

Wow, what a geek.

They spent $69.95 on a Wonder Mop.

00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,155

That's me.

00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,117

Oh! Oh, the yuck.

00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:37,786

He's doing it again!

00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:40,247

Marcel, stop humping the lamp!

00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:42,791

Stop humping!

Now, Marcel, come back!

00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:44,126

Come here, Marcel!

00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,503

Oh, no, no! Not in my room!

I'll get him.

00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:49,673

You've got to do something

about the humping.

00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:52,092

What? It's just a phase.

00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:55,095

Well, that's what we said about Joey.

00:00:57,265 --> 00:01:00,684

Hey, would you all relax?

It's not that big a deal.

00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,228

RACHEL:

Marcel, stop it! Marcel! Bad monkey!

00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:04,688

- What?

RACHEL: Ugh!

00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:08,650

Let's just say my Curious George doll

is no longer curious.

00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:03,705

Ugh, Monica, you are not still

going over that thing.

00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:06,708

- This woman's living my life.

- What?

00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:10,838

She's living my life,

and she's doing it better than me.

00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,257

Look at this. Look.

00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:16,093

She buys tickets to plays I want to see.

00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,596

She shops at stores that

I'm intimidated by the salespeople.

00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:22,349

She spent $300 on art supplies.

00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:23,892

You're not an artist.

00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:27,062

Yeah, well, I might be

if I had the supplies.

00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:32,192

I mean, I could do all this stuff.

Only I don't.

00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:35,112

Oh, Monica, come on.

You do cool things.

00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,447

Oh, really? Let's compare, shall we?

00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:41,118

Oh, it's so late for "shall we?"

00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,121

Do I go horseback riding

in the park, hmm?

00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,331

Do I take classes at The New School?

00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,500

- No.

- No.

00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,377

This is so unfair.

00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:53,964

She's got everything I want,

and she doesn't have my mother.

00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,558

How about Joey Paponi?

00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:08,937

No, still too ethnic. My agent thinks

I should have a name that's more neutral.

00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,939

Joey Switzerland?

00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:20,199

Plus I think it should be Joe.

Joey makes me sound like I'm...

00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:21,617

...this big.

00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:22,993

Which I'm not!

00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:28,874

Joe, Joe, Joe... Stalin?

00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:32,294

Stalin.

00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,714

Do I know that name?

That sounds familiar.

00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:39,426

- Well, it does not ring a bell with me.

- Huh.

00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:42,804

Joe Stalin.

00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:46,850

You know, that's pretty good.

00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:49,561

- You might want to try Joseph.

- Ah!

00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:58,528

Joseph Stalin!

00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:01,323

- I think you'd remember that!

- Oh, yes!

00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,702

Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin.

00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:09,581

Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof.

00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,091

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,592

Hi.

00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,846

Hi. Uh, yes, this is Monica Geller.

00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:29,351

Um, I'm taking classes with you,

and I was wondering what they were.

00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:33,146

What are you doing?

00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:34,648

All right, great.

00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:36,817

Great. Thanks a lot.

00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,819

I'm going to tap class.

00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:42,239

So you can dance with the woman

that stole your card?

00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,825

She's got my life.

I want to see who she is.

00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,369

Go to the post office!

I'm sure her picture's up!

00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,248

Honey, you're kind of losing it here.

00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:54,251

This is really becoming

a weird obsession.

00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,253

This is madness, I tell you.

00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:58,547

For the love of God, Monica, don't do it!

00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:04,136

Thank you.

00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,103

What do you think?

00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,272

Lots of things.

00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:18,108

Which one do you think she is?

00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,943

- May I help you?

- Oh, no, thanks.

00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:21,862

We're just here to observe.

00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:25,907

You don't observe a dance class.

You dance a dance class!

00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,409

Spare shoes are over there.

00:05:30,788 --> 00:05:32,039

What does she mean?

00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:34,082

I think she means, "You dance...

00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,917

...a dance class!"

00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,919

Come on, come on, come on!

00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,671

RACHEL:

Really?

00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:42,799

Hey, do you see anybody

you think could be me?

00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:47,596

People, last time there were yogurt containers

lying around after class.

00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,598

Let's not have that happen again!

00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,142

She could be you.

00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,065

Let's get started.

00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:02,694

Five, six. Five, six, seven, eight.

00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:09,242

Okay, I'm not getting this!

00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:12,537

I'm totally getting it!

00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:20,420

Do you ever just feel like you're

so unbelievably uncoordinated?

00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:30,430

What? You just click when they click.

00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:34,810

All right.

Now everyone grab a partner.

00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:36,478

Oh! Oh.

00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:41,608

All right. And my dead mother

said you are it! I'm with Rachel.

00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:44,736

Great, it's gym class all over again.

00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,405

RACHEL & PHOEBE:

Aww.

00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:50,784

That's all right. You can come up

to the front and dance with me.

00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:54,996

Why don't I just take off my clothes

and have a nightmare?

00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:04,965

It's okay, it's okay!

I'm here, I'm here. I'm so sorry I'm late.

00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,383

Okay, here I am.

00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:09,052

So who's the new tense girl?

00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:10,762

She's your partner.

00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,681

- Hi, I'm Monica.

- Hi.

00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,392

Oh, ha.

00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,686

Monica.

00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:19,855

Hi, I'm Mon...

00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:21,064

Nana.

00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:23,567

- Monana?

- Yeah.

00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:25,610

It's Dutch.

00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:28,363

You're kidding.

I spent three years in Amsterdam.

00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,157

[SPEAKING IN DUTCH]

00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:35,162

Um, Pennsylvania Dutch.

00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,622

And we're dancing!

00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:40,542

Five, six, seven, eight.

00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:48,925

Hi.

00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,345

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:55,765

- Where have you been?

- I just got back from the vet.

00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:59,603

She's not gonna make you wear

a big plastic cone, is she?

00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:05,650

She says Marcel's humping thing

is not a phase.

00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:09,070

Apparently, he's reached sexual maturity.

00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,157

Hey, he beat you!

00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:20,916

She says, as time goes on,

he'll start getting aggressive and violent.

00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:22,584

What does this mean?

00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:26,421

I have to give him up.

00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,650

I can't believe it. This sucks!

00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:50,320

You just got him.

How could he be an adult already?

00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:53,782

I know, I know.

One day he's this little thing...

00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,451

...and before you know it,

he's this little thing...

00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,246

...I can't get off my leg.

00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,457

Isn't there any way you can keep him?

00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,667

No. No.

00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:07,671

The vet said that unless he's in a place

where he has regular access...

00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:12,092

...to some monkey loving...

00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:15,136

...he's just gonna get vicious.

00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:18,181

I just gotta get him into a zoo.

00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,852

- How do you get a monkey into a zoo?

- I know that one!

00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:30,277

No, that's popes into a Volkswagen.

00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:36,241

We're applying to a lot of them.

Our first choice would be a state zoo.

00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,035

You know, like, uh, San Diego.

00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,371

Right?

00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:45,875

But that may just be a pipe dream

because he's out-of-state.

00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:52,507

My vet knows someone at Miami,

so that's a possibility.

00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:56,177

But that's two blocks from the beach.

It's a total party zoo.

00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,017

- Hey.

CHANDLER: Hey.

00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:03,977

- Hi.

- We found the girl!

00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,770

- What?

- Did you call the cops?

00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,522

Nope. We took her to lunch.

00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:10,400

Ah. Your own brand of vigilante justice.

00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:14,738

Are you insane?

This woman stole from you!

00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:17,490

She stole! She's a stealer!

00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:21,369

After you're with this woman

for 10 minutes, you forget all that.

00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:25,874

I mean, she's this astounding person...

00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,251

...with this amazing spirit!

00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:31,546

Yeah, which she probably stole

from some cheerleader!

00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,217

- Take off their hats.

- Popes in a Volkswagen!

00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:37,677

Mm-hm.

00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:41,681

I love that joke.

00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:50,190

- No way! No way did you do this!

- Monana was very brave.

00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:51,941

It was so wild.

00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:55,070

We told them we were

the Gunnersons in room 615...

00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:59,115

...only to find out the Boston Celtics

had the entire sixth floor!

00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:02,786

So when they caught on to the fact

that we're short and have breasts...

00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:06,998

They threw us out.

I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!

00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,167

Go, Monana!

00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:14,964

Well, you ladies are not

the only ones living the dream.

00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:20,011

I get to go pour coffee for people

I don't know. Don't wait up.

00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,348

Oh, by the way...

00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:26,810

...tomorrow we're auditioning

for a Broadway show.

00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:29,312

Excuse me?

00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,189

There's an open call for Cats.

00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:34,192

I'm thinking we go down there,

sing "Memories"...

00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,445

...and make complete fools of ourselves.

What do you say?

00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:40,490

No, no, no.

00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:43,326

Remember who

you're dealing with here. Ha.

00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:46,663

I'm not like you. I can't even

stand in front of a tap class.

00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,832

That's because of

your Amish background.

00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,920

- What?

- Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right?

00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,171

Right.

00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:58,842

Till I bought a blow dryer.

Then I was shunned.

00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:02,095

I was just like you.

00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:06,224

And then one day, I saw a movie

that changed my life.

00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:09,310

- Did you ever see Dead Poets Society?

- Uh-huh.

00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:13,148

I thought that movie was so incredibly...

00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:14,357

...boring!

00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,068

I mean, that thing at the end

where the kid...

00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,821

...kills himself because

he can't be in the play?

00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:21,990

What was that?

00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:26,786

It's like, "Kid, wait a year.

Leave home, do some community theater!"

00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:30,790

I walked out of there, and I thought:

00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:35,378

"Now, that's two hours of my life

that I'm never getting back!"

00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:39,257

And that scared me more than

all the other crap I was afraid to do.

00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:41,092

Wow.

00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,470

Then I would definitely

not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.

00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:45,847

[LAUGHING]

00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:53,521

Oh, God.

00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:57,192

We didn't get into Scranton.

00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,946

That was our safety zoo.

00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:05,825

They take, like, dogs and cows.

00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:09,245

See?

00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:12,874

I don't know who this

is harder on, me or him.

00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,628

I'd say that chair's taking the brunt of it.

00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:20,590

ROSS:

Marcel. Marcel.

00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,050

Marcel, no.

00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,261

Good boy!

00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,514

See? How can nobody want him?

00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,599

Somebody will.

00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,271

You know there already is a Joseph Stalin?

00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,653

You're kidding!

00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:47,158

Apparently, he was this Russian dictator

who slaughtered all these people!

00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:52,455

- You'd think you would've known that!

- You'd think I would've.

00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:59,212

Phoebe, what do you think

a good stage name for me would be?

00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:00,839

[CLEARS THROAT]

00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:02,507

Flame Boy!

00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:11,891

Where exactly is your zoo?

00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:14,811

Well, it's technically not a zoo per se.

00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:17,730

It's, uh, more of an interactive

wildlife experience.

00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,317

Let me ask you some questions about...

Is it, uh, Marcel?

00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,069

- Yes.

- Yes. Uh...

00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:25,238

Does he, uh, fight with other animals?

00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,324

No, no. He's very docile.

00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:31,744

Hmm. Even if he were cornered?

00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:37,250

Well, I don't know. Why?

00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:40,461

Um, how is he at handling small objects?

00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,340

He can hold a banana,

if that's what you mean.

00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:48,469

What about a hammer or a small blade?

00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:54,934

[STAMMERS]

Why would he need a blade?

00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:58,187

If he's up against a jungle cat

or an animal with horns...

00:14:58,355 --> 00:15:00,440

...you got to give

the little guy something.

00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,901

Otherwise, it's just cruel!

00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:08,072

[PANTING]

He got into San Diego!

00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,407

- What?

- Yeah.

00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:12,827

We were coming back from our walk,

and the phone was ringing...

00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,621

- He's in!

- He's in? Ah!

00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:16,623

Did you hear that, Marcel?

00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:19,584

San Diego! San Diego! Yeah!

00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,879

You're making a mistake.

San Diego's well and good...

00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:26,382

...but if you give him to me,

I'll start him against a blind rabbit...

00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,551

...and give you 20 percent of the gate.

00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,571

Yo-ho!

00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,115

Where have you been?

00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:54,243

Monica and I just crashed

an embassy party.

00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,621

Are you drunk?

00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,248

No!

00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:04,379

I'm lying.

00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:06,756

I am so drunk!

00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:08,257

Oh, God!

00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:11,094

Ugh. Great. You know what?

You could have called.

00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,179

I've been up here. I've been worried...

00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:14,722

Monica.

00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:16,766

Monica?

00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:22,522

Water rules!

00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,110

Yes. Yes, it does.

00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:31,531

The restaurant called.

They want to know if you're showing up.

00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,241

Nope!

00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,785

I'm going to the Big Apple Circus today.

00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:39,998

What are you doing?

You're gonna lose your job. This is not you!

00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:41,916

No, it is me!

00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:45,294

I'm not just the person

who needs to fluff the pillows...

00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:47,755

...and pay the bills as soon as they come in!

00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:52,677

You know, when I'm with her,

I'm so much more than that!

00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,512

I'm...

00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:58,307

I'm Monana!

00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:01,269

[PHONE RINGING]

00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,565

Ahem, hello?

00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,817

Yes, she is. Hold on a second, please.

00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,820

Ahem, Monana, it's for you.

00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,989

The credit card people.

00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,450

Hello?

00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,661

Yes?

00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,040

Oh, my God!

00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:24,417

Thanks.

00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:26,919

What?

00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:29,547

They've arrested Monica.

00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:42,351

- Hi.

- Hey.

00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,187

How are you?

00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:47,023

I'm not too bad.

Fortunately, blue's my color.

00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:49,776

How did you know I was here?

00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,404

Because...

00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,490

...I'm Monica Geller.

00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:59,702

It was my credit card you were using.

00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,246

That I was not expecting.

00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:05,041

I want you to know, I didn't turn you in.

00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:06,834

Oh.

00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:10,088

- Thanks.

- No, thank you.

00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:12,590

You have given me so much.

00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,926

If it wasn't for you,

I'd never have gotten...

00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,762

...to sing "Memories"

at the Winter Garden Theater.

00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,056

Actually, you only got to sing "Memo..."

00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:26,395

I can't believe you're in here.

What am I gonna do without you?

00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:29,107

Who's gonna crash

the embassy parties with me?

00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,526

Who's gonna take me

to the Big Apple Circus?

00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:36,572

Monica, I started my day by peeing

in front of 25 other women...

00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:41,077

...and you're worried about who will

take you to the Big Apple Circus?

00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:45,915

Well, not worried,

you know, just wondering.

00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:48,584

There's nothing to wonder about.

00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:52,547

You'll go back to being who you were

because that's who you are.

00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:55,424

- Not necessarily.

- Yes, necessarily.

00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:58,469

I don't know what it is.

Maybe it's the Amish thing.

00:19:01,723 --> 00:19:04,600

Um, I'm not actually Amish.

00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,311

Really? Then why are you like that?

00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:25,037

You by the door, in or out?

00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,332

In!

00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:35,840

You in the back, you're getting it wrong!

00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,842

At least I'm doing it!

00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:56,485

WOMAN [OVER PA]: This is the final

boarding call for Flight 67 to San Diego...

00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:58,988

...boarding at Gate 42A.

00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:01,532

Okay, goodbye, little monkey guy.

00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,994

- I wrote you this poem.

- Aw.

00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:07,872

Okay, but don't eat it

till you get on the plane.

00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,917

- Thank you, Aunt Phoebe.

- Aww.

00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:16,380

Okay, bye, champ.

00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:19,425

There's gonna be a lot of babes

in San Diego...

00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:23,137

...but remember, there's also a lot to learn.

00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:32,563

I don't know what to say, Ross.

Uh, it's a monkey.

00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:36,025

Just say what you feel, Joey.

00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,819

Marcel, I'm hungry.

00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:40,863

ROSS:

That was good.

00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,452

- Marcel, this is for you.

- Oh.

00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:50,498

It's, uh, just, you know,

something to, um...

00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,376

...do on the plane.

00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:59,215

If you don't mind,

I'd like a moment, just me and him.

00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:02,385

- Sure.

- Of course. Absolutely.

00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,263

ALL:

Oh.

00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,976

Marcel, come here. Come here.

00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:11,852

Come here.

00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:13,646

Well, buddy...

00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,066

...this is it.

00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:20,361

There's just a couple of things

I wanted to say.

00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:24,365

I'm really gonna miss you.

00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:27,451

You know? And I'm never gonna

forget about you.

00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:32,498

You've been more than just a pet to me.

00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:34,292

You've been more like a...

00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:36,585

Okay. Marcel, would you...?

00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:39,630

Marcel, would you leave my leg alone?

00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:43,426

Would you just stop humping me

for two seconds? Marc... Would you...?

00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:47,430

Okay, would you just take him away?

Just take him.

00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:13,164

O! That I were a glove

upon that hand...

00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:17,043

...that I might touch thy cheek.

00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:19,879

WOMAN:

That's fine. Thank you.

00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:21,839

MAN:

Next.

00:22:25,552 --> 00:22:28,346

Hi. Uh, I'll be reading

for the role of Mercutio.

00:22:28,513 --> 00:22:31,474

MAN: Name?

- Holden McGroin.

00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:41,484

[English - US - SDH]

00:00:05,180 --> 00:00:07,600

Понятия не имею. Но посмотри,

сколько он тратит!

00:00:07,850 --> 00:00:11,570

Успокойся. Платить все равно нужно

только за то, что ты реально купила

00:00:11,820 --> 00:00:14,440

И всё-таки он так швыряет деньги

на ветер

00:00:14,690 --> 00:00:16,610

Когда кто-то крадет твою кредитку...

00:00:16,860 --> 00:00:21,330

...он уже как бы швыряет на ветер

свою осторожность

00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:29,250

Ого! Ну и придурок. Потратить

69,95 на "Чудо-швабру"

00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:32,290

Это была я

00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:37,800

Он опять за своё!

00:00:38,050 --> 00:00:40,340

Марсель, хватит дрючить лампу!

00:00:40,590 --> 00:00:42,760

Хватит ее дрючить!

А ну-ка, Марсель, вернись!

00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,010

Иди ко мне, Марсель!

00:00:44,270 --> 00:00:47,020

О, нет-нет! Только не у меня

в комнате! Я его принесу

00:00:47,270 --> 00:00:49,690

Росс, тебе надо что-то делать

с Марселем

00:00:49,940 --> 00:00:52,230

Что? Это у него период такой

00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:56,570

Мы уже говорили то же самое про Джои

00:00:57,530 --> 00:01:00,610

Да успокойтесь вы все, ладно?

Подумаешь, большое дело

00:01:00,870 --> 00:01:03,410

Марсель, прекрати! Марсель!

Плохая обезьяна!

00:01:03,660 --> 00:01:04,950

Что?

00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:10,170

Скажем так, моего кукольного Джорджа

отныне можно звать Жоржеттой

00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:15,380

Первый сезон, 21-я серия

"Фальшивая Моника"

00:02:00,030 --> 00:02:03,030

Моника, ты до сих пор не хочешь

успокоиться

00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,970

- Но эта женщина живет моей жизнью.

- Что?

00:02:07,220 --> 00:02:11,060

Она живет моей жизнью,

причем лучше, чем это делаю я

00:02:11,310 --> 00:02:13,350

Сама посмотри. Смотри

00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,060

Она покупает билеты на спектакли,

которые я хотела бы посмотреть

00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:19,480

Ходит в магазины, куда я не хожу

из страха перед продавцами

00:02:19,730 --> 00:02:22,360

Она потратила 300 долларов

на принадлежности для живописи

00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:23,820

Но ты же не художник

00:02:24,070 --> 00:02:27,740

А могла бы быть, если бы

имела принадлежности

00:02:27,990 --> 00:02:32,410

Я могла бы делать всё это.

Только не делаю

00:02:32,660 --> 00:02:35,040

Моника, да успокойся ты.

Ты делаешь много интересного

00:02:35,290 --> 00:02:37,420

Да ну? Давай сравним, а?

00:02:37,670 --> 00:02:41,590

Ой, уже так поздно делать "а"

00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,920

Я катаюсь в парке на лошадях?

00:02:44,170 --> 00:02:48,510

Я хожу на курсы в Нью-Скул?

00:02:48,930 --> 00:02:50,300

Это так несправедливо

00:02:50,550 --> 00:02:55,430

У нее есть все, чего нет у меня,

и при этом нет моей мамаши

00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,530

Как насчет Джои Папони?

00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:06,530

Нет, все равно национальный

привкус

00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:09,660

Мой агент думает, мне нужно

более нейтральное имя

00:03:09,910 --> 00:03:12,370

Джои Швейцария?

00:03:15,830 --> 00:03:20,170

Кроме того, мне лучше быть Джо.

"Джои" - это что-то такое...

00:03:20,420 --> 00:03:21,500

...крошечное

00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:24,380

А это не так!

00:03:25,420 --> 00:03:30,300

Джо, Джо, Джо...

Сталин?

00:03:30,550 --> 00:03:32,850

Сталин

00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:35,730

Откуда я знаю эту фамилию?

Такая знакомая

00:03:35,980 --> 00:03:39,350

Ну, у меня она ни с чем не

ассоциируется

00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:43,520

Джо Сталин

00:03:44,980 --> 00:03:47,240

А знаешь, совсем неплохо

00:03:47,490 --> 00:03:51,070

Рекомендую попробовать "Джозеф"

00:03:55,950 --> 00:03:58,750

Джозеф Сталин!

00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,750

- А это запоминающееся имя!

- Да уж!

00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,630

"Прощай, птичка",

в главной роли Джозеф Сталин

00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:10,840

Джозеф Сталин - новый

"Скрипач на крыше"!

00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,150

Здравствуйте, это Моника Геллер

00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:30,780

Я записалась к вам на курсы,

и хотела бы спросить, на какие

00:04:31,490 --> 00:04:33,120

Что ты делаешь?

00:04:33,370 --> 00:04:34,530

Хорошо, спасибо

00:04:34,780 --> 00:04:36,830

Отлично. Большое спасибо

00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,700

Я хожу на курсы чечетки

00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,080

То есть ты хочешь потанцевать

с женщиной, которая тебя обокрала?

00:04:42,330 --> 00:04:44,630

Она украла мою жизнь.

Я хочу увидеть, кто это

00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:48,800

Сходи на почту! Она наверняка

в розыске, там есть фотография!

00:04:49,050 --> 00:04:51,220

Знаешь, Моника,

у тебя уже крыша едет

00:04:51,470 --> 00:04:54,220

Это уже становится

дурацкой манией

00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:56,310

Это безумие! Безумие,

это я тебе говорю!

00:04:56,560 --> 00:05:01,140

Ради всего святого, Моника,

не делай этого!

00:05:02,270 --> 00:05:04,980

Спасибо

00:05:11,530 --> 00:05:13,070

Что вы думаете?

00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,200

Много разных мыслей

00:05:16,330 --> 00:05:17,990

Как вы думаете, которая она?

00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:19,870

- Вы на курсы?

- Нет, спасибо.

00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,750

Мы просто посмотрим

00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,880

Танцкласс - не смотрят.

Танцкласс - танцуют!

00:05:26,130 --> 00:05:29,710

Запасные туфли там

00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:31,920

Что она хотела сказать?

00:05:32,170 --> 00:05:34,050

По-моему, она хотела сказать...

00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:35,800

..."Танцкласс - танцуют!"

00:05:36,050 --> 00:05:37,810

Давайте, давайте, давайте!

00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:39,810

Правда?

00:05:40,060 --> 00:05:42,600

Вы видите кого-нибудь,

кто мог бы быть мною?

00:05:42,850 --> 00:05:47,570

Так, люди, в прошлый раз по залу

валялись пачки от йогурта

00:05:47,820 --> 00:05:50,030

Давайте больше так не будем!

00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,490

Она могла бы быть тобой

00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:58,450

Давайте начинать

00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:03,580

Пять, шесть.

Пять, шесть, семь, восемь

00:06:07,340 --> 00:06:09,420

Что-то я не въезжаю!

00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:13,510

А я еще как въезжаю!

00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:21,850

Господи, никогда не думала, что

можно иметь такую плохую координацию!

00:06:28,270 --> 00:06:31,860

Что? Просто надо стучать,

когда они стучат

00:06:32,230 --> 00:06:36,160

Так, хорошо.

Теперь все берите партнеров

00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:41,790

Так. Моя-покойная-мама

была-дорогая-путана... Я с Рэйчел

00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:46,120

Ну вот, всё опять

как в школе на физкультуре

00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:51,210

Ничего страшного. Выходите

вперед и танцуйте со мной

00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:56,430

Может, мне сразу раздеться догола

и сдохнуть от стыда?

00:07:00,180 --> 00:07:04,850

Ничего, ничего! Я уже здесь,

я здесь. Извините за опоздание

00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:06,230

Ну вот, я пришла

00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:09,230

Ну? Кто эта закомплексованная

новенькая?

00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:10,610

Это твоя партнерша

00:07:10,860 --> 00:07:14,150

Привет, я Моника

00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:19,820

Привет, а я Мо...

00:07:20,070 --> 00:07:20,910

...нана

00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,950

Монана

00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:25,580

Это голландское имя

00:07:25,830 --> 00:07:30,630

Не может быть. Я прожила три года

в Амстердаме

00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,920

Из пенсильванской Голландии

00:07:36,170 --> 00:07:37,590

И танцуем!

00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:41,600

Пять, шесть, семь, восемь

00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:55,650

- Ты где был?

- Я только что от ветеринара.

00:07:55,900 --> 00:08:00,870

Тебя же не заставили носить

большой пластмассовый конус, а?

00:08:02,580 --> 00:08:05,620

Врач сказала, что у Марселя

это не временный период

00:08:05,870 --> 00:08:09,580

По-видимому, он достиг

половой зрелости

00:08:09,830 --> 00:08:13,590

Ого, он обогнал тебя!

00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:21,050

Она говорит, со временем он

станет агрессивным и жестоким

00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:24,010

И что же теперь делать?

00:08:24,890 --> 00:08:27,850

Мне придется его отдать

00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:46,580

Прямо не верится, Росс.

Какой ужас!

00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:50,290

Ты же только что его взял.

Когда он успел стать взрослым?

00:08:50,540 --> 00:08:53,580

Да уж, да уж. Сегодня он

совсем крошка...

00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:56,630

...а не успеешь глазом моргнуть,

и он уже крошка...

00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:00,550

...которую нельзя оторвать

от ноги

00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,180

А можно как-нибудь его оставить?

00:09:03,430 --> 00:09:06,510

Нет! Ветеринар говорит:

если не поселить его там, где...

00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,770

...он сможет время от времени...

00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:12,940

...общаться с себе подобными...

00:09:13,190 --> 00:09:15,270

...у него испортится характер

00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:19,740

Мне придется отдать его в зоопарк

00:09:20,110 --> 00:09:24,410

- А как отдать обезьяну в зоопарк?

- А я знаю!

00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:31,830

А, нет, это другой анекдот

00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:36,380

Мы уже написали в несколько.

Лучше всего в государственный

00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:39,710

Например, в Сан-Диего

00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,550

Правильно?

00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:47,430

Но это может оказаться нереально,

поскольку он живёт вне закона

00:09:48,180 --> 00:09:52,480

Ветеринар знает кое-кого в Майами,

так что там есть шанс

00:09:52,730 --> 00:09:57,690

Но это в двух кварталах от пляжа.

Там, небось, пьянки-гулянки до утра

00:10:02,780 --> 00:10:04,110

Мы нашли её! Мы нашли эту девицу!

00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:05,740

- Что?

- Вы вызвали полицию?

00:10:05,990 --> 00:10:07,490

Не-а. Мы пригласили ее на обед

00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:11,500

А, это у вас такой оригинальный

способ страшной мести?

00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:14,830

Ты в своем уме? Она у тебя крадет!

00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,250

Она крадет! Она - крадунья!

00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:23,260

Пообщавшись с этой женщиной

десять минут, забываешь об этом

00:10:23,510 --> 00:10:25,970

Она такой потрясающий человек...

00:10:26,220 --> 00:10:28,220

...с таким зажигательным

характером!

00:10:28,470 --> 00:10:33,140

Ага! Она его украла у девчонок

из группы поддержки!

00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:37,730

- У богатых берет, бедным дает.

- Девочка-Робин Гуд!

00:10:39,770 --> 00:10:43,070

Обожаю этот анекдот

00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:50,580

- Что? Как вы ухитрились!

- Монана оказалась такая храбрая.

00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:51,990

Ох и пощекотали же мы нервы

00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:55,160

Мы сказали, что мы Ганнерсоны

из номера шесть-пятнадцать...

00:10:55,410 --> 00:10:59,090

...и тут оказалось, что "Бостон

Селтикс" сняли весь шестой этаж!

00:10:59,340 --> 00:11:03,260

И когда они засекли, что мы

маленького роста и с сиськами...

00:11:03,510 --> 00:11:07,300

...нас просто выкинули вон.

Меня выкинули из гостиницы! Меня!

00:11:07,550 --> 00:11:10,720

Даешь, Монана!

00:11:11,510 --> 00:11:15,020

Что ж, дамочки, не одни вы

живете в сладких снах

00:11:15,270 --> 00:11:21,570

Я пошла наливать кофе людям,

которых вообще не знаю. Не ждите

00:11:22,190 --> 00:11:23,440

О, кстати...

00:11:23,690 --> 00:11:28,410

...завтра у нас прослушивание

на бродвейский мюзикл

00:11:28,450 --> 00:11:29,280

Прошу прощения?

00:11:29,530 --> 00:11:31,280

Открытый конкурс на роли в "Кошках"

00:11:31,530 --> 00:11:34,200

Я думаю, нам стоит пойти туда,

спеть "Воспоминания"...

00:11:34,450 --> 00:11:39,830

...и выставить себя полными дурами.

Что скажешь?

00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,250

Не забудь, с кем ты имеешь дело

00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:46,590

Я не такая, как ты. Я даже

не могу танцевать перед классом

00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:50,340

Это всё твое забитое сектантское

детство

00:11:51,890 --> 00:11:53,930

Ты же из пенсильванской Голландии,

правильно?

00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:55,180

А, ну да

00:11:55,430 --> 00:12:00,190

А потом я купила фен,

и меня выгнали из дому

00:12:00,730 --> 00:12:02,150

Я была точно такая же

00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:06,610

А потом как-то раз я посмотрела

фильм, изменивший мою жизнь

00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,360

Видела когда-нибудь

"Общество покойных поэтов"?

00:12:09,610 --> 00:12:13,280

Этот фильм оказался для меня

таким невероятно...

00:12:13,530 --> 00:12:14,870

...скучным!

00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,750

Там в конце, понимаешь ли,

парень...

00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,630

...кончает с собой, потому что

не может играть в пьесе

00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:21,960

Что это за дурость?

00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:28,300

Да, в конце концов, подожди год,

поиграй пока в любительском театре

00:12:29,090 --> 00:12:30,640

Я выходила с сеанса и думала...

00:12:30,890 --> 00:12:35,600

..."Эти два часа моей жизни

я уже никогда не верну назад!"

00:12:35,850 --> 00:12:39,980

И это испугало меня больше, чем

всё то, что я боялась делать!

00:12:40,230 --> 00:12:46,190

Ого. Тогда я определенно

не рекомендую "Миссис Даутфайер"

00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:54,330

О боже

00:12:54,580 --> 00:12:58,410

Мы не попали в Скрэнтон

00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:02,420

А это был наш стопроцентный

запасной вариант

00:13:02,670 --> 00:13:07,340

Они там даже собак и коров берут

00:13:09,550 --> 00:13:13,470

Не знаю, кому от этого тяжелее,

ему или мне

00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:18,140

Основной удар принимает на себя

стул

00:13:23,730 --> 00:13:25,440

Хороший мальчик!

00:13:25,690 --> 00:13:27,570

Видите?

Как его можно не хотеть взять?

00:13:27,820 --> 00:13:31,110

Кто-нибудь да возьмет

00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:36,780

А ты знал, что уже был один

Джозеф Сталин?

00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:42,790

Да ты шутишь!

00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:49,010

Это какой-то русский диктатор,

который загубил кучу народу!

00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:53,970

- И мне кажется, что ты это знал!

- И мне тоже так кажется.

00:13:55,180 --> 00:14:00,770

Фиби, как ты думаешь, какое мне

подобрать хорошее сценическое имя?

00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:04,060

Данко!

00:14:10,190 --> 00:14:11,860

А где находится ваш зоопарк?

00:14:12,110 --> 00:14:14,780

Собственно, формально это

вообще не зоопарк как таковой

00:14:15,030 --> 00:14:19,080

Это скорее реалити-шоу

на темы дикой природы

00:14:19,330 --> 00:14:23,290

Можно задать вам пару вопросов...

Его зовут Марсель?

00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:26,000

Он дерется с другими животными?

00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:28,960

Нет, нет. Он очень миролюбивый

00:14:29,210 --> 00:14:33,300

Даже если загнать его в угол?

00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,180

Ну, не знаю. А что?

00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:41,470

Умеет ли он обращаться

с небольшими предметами?

00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:45,440

Он умеет держать банан,

если вы об этом

00:14:45,690 --> 00:14:50,020

А, например, молоток

или небольшой нож?

00:14:52,570 --> 00:14:54,860

Зачем... зачем ему нужен нож?

00:14:55,110 --> 00:14:58,160

В драке против дикого кота

или животного с рогами...

00:14:58,410 --> 00:15:01,040

...малышу не помешает оружие

00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:04,460

А иначе это просто бойня!

00:15:05,830 --> 00:15:08,000

Его приняли в Сан-Диего!

00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:09,170

Что?

00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:12,840

Мы вернулись с прогулки,

и тут зазвонил телефон...

00:15:13,090 --> 00:15:14,630

Его взяли!

00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,470

Ты слышишь, Марсель?

00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,600

В Сан-Диего! Сан-Диего!

00:15:19,850 --> 00:15:22,810

Вы совершаете ошибку.

В Сан-Диего, конечно, хорошо...

00:15:23,060 --> 00:15:26,480

...но отдайте его мне - и я

выставлю его против слепого зайца...

00:15:26,730 --> 00:15:30,110

...а вы получите 20 процентов

кассы

00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,460

Где тебя черти носили?

00:15:51,710 --> 00:15:55,090

Мы с Моникой наделали шороху

на вечеринке в посольстве

00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:56,880

Ты пьяная?

00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:59,680

Нет!

00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:04,390

Я наврала

00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,730

Я вдребезги пьяная!

00:16:06,980 --> 00:16:08,390

О боже!

00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,230

Прекрасно, Моника. Знаешь что,

могла бы хоть позвонить!

00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:15,150

Я тут сидела. Я волновалась...

00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:23,530

Вода - это жизнь!

00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,160

Да, это уж точно

00:16:27,410 --> 00:16:31,670

Звонили из ресторана. Спрашивают,

придешь ли ты на работу

00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:33,250

Не-а!

00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,880

Сегодня я иду в цирк-шапито

00:16:36,130 --> 00:16:39,930

Что ты делаешь? Тебя выгонят

с работы. Ты сама не своя!

00:16:40,180 --> 00:16:41,930

Нет, я как раз сама своя!

00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:45,310

Я не только дура, которая вечно

взбивает подушки...

00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,730

...и платит по всем счетам,

как только они приходят!

00:16:47,980 --> 00:16:54,320

Знаешь, когда я с ней,

я совершенно другой человек!

00:16:55,730 --> 00:16:59,070

Я - Монана!

00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:08,160

Да, она есть. Секундочку

00:17:08,410 --> 00:17:10,790

Монана, это тебя

00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:14,540

Из компании по кредитным

карточкам

00:17:20,130 --> 00:17:22,760

Боже мой!

00:17:23,010 --> 00:17:25,100

Спасибо

00:17:25,350 --> 00:17:26,930

Что?

00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:30,770

Монику арестовали

00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:44,240

Ну, как ты?

00:17:44,490 --> 00:17:48,200

Нормально. К счастью,

голубое мне идет

00:17:48,450 --> 00:17:51,620

Откуда ты узнала, что я здесь?

00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:54,170

Потому что...

00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:56,840

...я - Моника Геллер

00:17:57,090 --> 00:17:59,760

Это моей кредитной карточкой

ты пользовалась

00:18:00,010 --> 00:18:02,260

Вот этого я не ожидала

00:18:02,510 --> 00:18:06,510

Хочу, чтобы ты знала -

это не я тебя сдала

00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:10,100

- Спасибо.

- Нет, тебе спасибо.

00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:12,730

Ты дала мне так много

00:18:12,980 --> 00:18:14,980

Без тебя я бы никогда...

00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:17,820

...не пошла петь "Воспоминания"

в театре "Зимний сад"

00:18:18,070 --> 00:18:21,570

Вообще-то ты спела только

"Воспо..."

00:18:22,490 --> 00:18:26,490

Как же это так? Что я теперь

без тебя буду делать?

00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:29,120

С кем я буду устраивать разгром

на вечеринках в посольстве?

00:18:29,370 --> 00:18:31,910

Кто пойдет со мной в цирк-шапито?

00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:36,580

Моника, мне утром пришлось писать

на глазах у 25 женщин...

00:18:36,830 --> 00:18:42,090

...а у тебя главная проблема,

кто поведет тебя в цирк шапито?

00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:45,970

Ну, не проблема, а так,

просто вопрос

00:18:46,220 --> 00:18:48,550

Нечего тут думать, что делать

00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,930

Будь такой же, как раньше.

Это и есть настоящая ты

00:18:53,180 --> 00:18:55,650

- Не обязательно.

- Нет, обязательно.

00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:59,980

Не знаю, в чем причина.

Может, тяжелое сектантское детство

00:19:02,780 --> 00:19:04,570

Вообще-то я не из сектантов

00:19:04,820 --> 00:19:08,820

Правда? Тогда почему ты такая?

00:19:23,460 --> 00:19:26,590

Эй, вы у двери, сюда или туда?

00:19:27,130 --> 00:19:29,600

Сюда!

00:19:33,890 --> 00:19:35,770

Эй, вы сзади, вы всё делаете

не так!

00:19:36,020 --> 00:19:39,400

Зато я это делаю!

00:19:52,740 --> 00:19:56,540

"Заканчивается посадка на рейс 67

до Сан-Диего..."

00:19:56,790 --> 00:19:59,000

"...через ворота 42-А"

00:19:59,250 --> 00:20:01,460

Ну пока, маленький обезьян

00:20:01,710 --> 00:20:04,920

Я написала тебе стихотворение

00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:07,930

Только не ешь его, пока не

сядешь на самолет

00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:11,550

Скажи спасибо тёте Фиби

00:20:14,220 --> 00:20:16,480

Ну пока, волосатый

00:20:16,730 --> 00:20:19,480

У тебя в Сан-Диего будет

много баб...

00:20:19,730 --> 00:20:24,280

...но помни - тебе еще

учиться, учиться и учиться

00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:32,660

Не знаю, что сказать, Росс.

Это же обезьяна

00:20:32,910 --> 00:20:36,830

Просто скажи, что ты чувствуешь

00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:39,710

Марсель, я чувствую голод

00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,340

Хорошо сказал

00:20:44,050 --> 00:20:47,880

Марсель, это тебе

00:20:48,420 --> 00:20:51,140

Ну, чтобы ты в самолете...

00:20:51,390 --> 00:20:54,810

...не очень скучал

00:20:56,060 --> 00:20:59,190

Ребята, если вы не против,

я бы хотел побыть с ним наедине

00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:03,520

- Да, конечно, не против.

- Давай.

00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:10,070

Марсель, иди ко мне.

Иди сюда

00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:11,820

Иди ко мне

00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:15,030

Ну вот, дружище...

00:21:15,660 --> 00:21:17,160

...и всё

00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:21,580

Осталось сказать только пару слов

00:21:21,830 --> 00:21:24,380

Я буду очень по тебе скучать

00:21:24,630 --> 00:21:27,630

Знаешь, я тебя никогда не забуду

00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,380

Ты был мне больше, чем...

00:21:30,630 --> 00:21:32,680

...домашнее животное

00:21:32,730 --> 00:21:36,310

Ты был мне скорее...

00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,320

Марсель, может,

оставишь мою ногу в покое?

00:21:39,570 --> 00:21:43,150

Может, перестанешь меня дрючить

хоть на секунду?

00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:48,280

Ну всё, может, заберете его?

Давайте уносите его

00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:14,850

Ах, быть бы мне перчаткой на руке,

Я б поцелуй оставил...

00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:16,900

...на ее щеке!

00:22:17,150 --> 00:22:19,860

Все, хорошо. Спасибо

00:22:20,110 --> 00:22:22,900

Следующий

00:22:25,700 --> 00:22:28,370

Я прослушиваюсь на роль Меркуцио

00:22:28,620 --> 00:22:32,700

- Имя?

- Остап Бендер.