Эпизод с ик-фактором

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- Shut up.

- Tell me what?

00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,882

MONICA: You won't even look at him.

- Oh, come on, tell me.

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I could use another reason

why women won't look at me.

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All right, all right, all right.

00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:15,806

Last night, I had a dream...

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...that, um, you and I were, uh...

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Doing it on this table.

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- Wow.

- Excellent dream score.

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Why...? Why would you dream that?

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More importantly, was I any good?

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Well, you were pretty damned good.

Ha, ha.

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Interesting, because in my dreams,

I'm surprisingly inadequate.

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Well, last night, you seemed to know

your way around the table.

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[ROSS CHUCKLES]

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I love it when we share.

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CHANDLER:

You okay there?

00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:03,312

I can't believe you two had sex

in her dream.

00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,857

I'm sorry. It was a one-time thing.

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I was very drunk,

and it was someone else's subconscious.

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- Hello, Rachel.

- Ugh.

00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:04,540

Get off.

00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:09,920

Ooh. Oh, give me.

Can you see me operating a drill press?

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I don't know. What are you wearing?

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Pheebs, why would you want

to operate a drill press?

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Just for some short-term work.

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You know, till I get back

some of my massage clients.

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Pirates again?

00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,814

No. Nothing like that.

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I'm just such a dummy.

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I taught this

"Massage Yourself at Home" workshop.

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And they are.

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Hey, hey, Chan, she could work for you.

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Thanks, Joey. That's a good idea.

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What? I could. I could do it. What is it?

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Well, my secretary's gonna be out.

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She's having one of her boobs reduced.

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It's a whole big boob story.

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I could be a secretary.

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Well, I don't know

if it's your kind of thing...

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...because, uh,

it involves a lot of being normal...

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...ahem, for a large portion of the day.

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I could do that.

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[BEEPER BEEPING]

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- What are you playing with?

- It's my new beeper.

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Why the hell does a paleontologist

need a beeper for?

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Is it, like, for dinosaur emergencies?

"Help, come quick! They're still extinct!"

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[CHANDLER LAUGHS]

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No, it's for when Carol goes into labor.

She can get me wherever I am.

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All she has to do is dial 55-JIMBO.

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A cool phone number

and a possible name for the kid.

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- I'll see you guys later.

- Off to see young Ethan?

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Thank you.

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How young is young Ethan? Young?

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He's our age.

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When we were?

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- Okay, he's a senior in college.

- College?

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JOEY: Ooh.

- Whoa.

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And this man-child has no problem

with how old you are?

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No, of course not.

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It's not even an issue...

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...because I told him I was 22.

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- What?

- What?

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- Oh, I can't pass for 22?

- Well, maybe 25, 26.

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- I am 26.

- There you go.

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[PHONE RINGING]

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Can you hear that?

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Yeah. Ha, ha.

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That'll stop when you pick up the phone.

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Oh. Ha, ha.

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- Okay. Ooh, I'm on.

- Okay.

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[IN MELLOW VOICE]

Mr. Bing's office.

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No, I'm sorry,

he's in a meeting right now.

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I'm not in a meeting. I'm right...

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Will he know what this is in reference to?

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And he has your number?

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All right, I'll see that he gets the message.

Bye-bye.

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- What?

- [IN NORMAL VOICE] Ross says hi.

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Ah.

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This is so fun.

All right, what do we do now?

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Well, now I actually have to get to work.

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"Most likely."

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[BOTH CHUCKLE]

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- Okay, I'm gonna be out there.

- Okay.

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- All right. Bye-bye.

- Bye-bye.

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[INTERCOM BUZZES]

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Yes?

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PHOEBE [OVER INTERCOM]:

What you doing?

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Okay, windows are clean,

candles are lit.

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Ooh, belt's too tight. Gotta change the belt.

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Did I turn the fish?

Nope, because I made lasagna.

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- Am I out of control?

- Just a touch.

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Mon, I don't understand.

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I mean, you've been dating this guy since,

like, his midterms.

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I mean,

why all of a sudden are you so?

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Oh.

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What?

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Could tonight be the night?

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I don't know.

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Look, he's a great guy,

and I love being with him, but, you know...

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...things happen when they happen.

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You don't plan these things.

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- Oh. So did you shave your legs?

- Yeah.

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Uh-huh.

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Would you let it go, Ross?

It was just a dream.

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It doesn't mean...

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[BEEPER BEEPING]

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Oh, oh, oh. Oh, this is it. Oh, my God.

It's baby time. Baby time.

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All right, relax, relax, just relax, just relax.

Be cool.

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Yeah, hi, I was just beeped.

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No, Andre is not here. Third time today.

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Yes, I am sure.

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Heh. No, sir, I do not perform

those kind of services.

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Services? Oh, services.

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Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO.

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Yeah.

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That's right.

00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:05,006

That's right. "JUMBO" with a U, sir.

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Heh. No, you don't want me.

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Judging by his number,

I'd be a huge disappointment.

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Yeah. Alrighty, bye-bye.

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[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

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JOEY: Hey, hey. How was the first day?

- Hey. Oh.

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Excellent. Everyone was so, so nice.

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See? It pays to know the man

who wears my shoes.

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- Me.

- Ah.

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- I didn't tell anybody that I knew you.

- Why not?

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Well, because, you know.

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They don't like you.

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- What?

- I thought you knew that.

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Nah-uh.

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- Who doesn't like me?

- Everyone.

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Except for, um...

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No. Everyone.

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- What are you talking about?

- Don't feel bad.

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You know, they used to like you a lot.

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But then you got promoted,

and now you're all, like, Mr. Boss-Man.

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You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing.

Boss-Man Bing.

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[BOTH CHUCKLE]

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- I can't believe it.

- Yeah, yeah. They even do you.

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- They do me?

- Yeah.

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You know, like, um, okay:

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"Could that report be any later?"

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[JOEY & ROSS LAUGHING]

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I don't sound like that.

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- Oh, oh. Chandler.

- Oh. Yeah, you do.

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"The hills are alive with the sound...

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...of music."

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"My scone!"

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ROSS, JOEY & PHOEBE:

"My scone!"

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[ALL LAUGHING]

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Okay, I don't sound like that.

That is so not true.

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[BOTH LAUGHING]

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That is so not... That is so not... That...

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Oh, shut up.

00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:02,457

Ha, ha. You did not.

00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,584

I am telling you, up until I was 9...

00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:07,587

...I thought gunpoint was an actual place

where crimes happened.

00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:11,424

- Ha, ha. How is that possible?

- Think about it. It's always on the news.

00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:14,261

"A man is being held up at Gunpoint."

00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:16,805

"Tourists are being terrorized

at Gunpoint."

00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:20,475

And I just kept thinking,

"Why do people continue to go there?"

00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,897

Oh, ah.

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- I should go.

- Okay.

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Okay.

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- Unless...

- What?

00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,539

Uh, unless you wanna stay over.

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I mean, I'm going to. So...

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[BOTH CHUCKLE]

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Yeah, I'd really like that.

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Uh, before we get into

any staying-over stuff...

00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,476

...there's something you should know.

00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:06,146

Okay. Is this like

"I have an early class tomorrow"...

00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:09,899

...or "I'm secretly married to a goat"?

00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:13,862

Well, it's somewhere in between.

00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:18,325

You see, in a strictly technical sense,

of course, I'm not, uh...

00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:21,453

Well, I mean, I haven't ever, um...

00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,413

- Ethan?

- Yeah?

00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:24,873

Are you a virgin?

00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:28,835

Well, if that's what you kids

are calling it these days...

00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,629

...then yes, I am.

00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:37,052

I, uh... I've kind of been waiting

for the right person.

00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:41,222

- Really?

- Yeah.

00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,934

You do know

I was talking about you, right?

00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:55,278

Wow.

00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,906

You keep saying that.

00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,951

You know, you read about it.

You see it in the movies.

00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:05,955

Even when you practice it at home,

man, oh, man...

00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:08,917

...it is nothing like that.

00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,126

Oh.

00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,836

[ETHAN MOANING]

00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,047

Listen, listen.

00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:19,552

Um, you told me something

that was really difficult for you.

00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:23,932

And, um, well, I figure if you can be honest,

then I can too.

00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,769

- Oh, God, don't tell me I did it wrong.

- No.

00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,479

- No, no, no.

- Oh.

00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:32,732

- Nothing wrong about that.

- Oh. Ha, ha.

00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:37,070

Um, okay. Here goes.

00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:40,407

I'm not 22.

00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:43,243

I'm 25.

00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,662

And 13 months.

00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:48,790

Huh.

00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,126

But I figure, you know,

that shouldn't change anything.

00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:54,796

I mean, what the hell does it matter

how old we are?

00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:59,134

Listen, um...

00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,469

...as long as we're telling stuff, uh...

00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:05,974

...I have another one for you.

00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,852

I'm a little younger than I said.

00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,605

You're not a senior?

00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:15,024

Oh, I'm a senior.

00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,696

In high school.

00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,830

Okay.

00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,043

What we did was wrong.

00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:38,965

Oh, God. I just had sex with someone

who wasn't alive during the bicentennial.

00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:43,094

I just had sex.

00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:48,516

Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me?

00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:51,352

- You never told me how old you were.

- That's different.

00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,856

My lie didn't make one of us a felon

in 48 states.

00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:59,527

- What were you thinking?

- I wasn't thinking. I was busy falling...

00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:01,780

- Don't say it.

...in love with you.

00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:04,783

Really?

00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,951

Sorry.

00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,162

Well, fall out of it.

00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:12,749

You know, you shouldn't even be here.

It's a school night.

00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:16,669

Oh, God. Oh, God.

00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:22,091

I'm like those women that you see

with shiny guys named Chad.

00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:27,055

I'm Joan Collins.

00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,518

Who?

00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:43,321

Okay, Andre should be there

in about 45 minutes.

00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,699

Alrighty. Bye-bye.

00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,620

Ahem. It's just easier that way.

00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,791

Oh, come on.

You told me about the last dream.

00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,751

No. Forget it.

00:13:56,919 --> 00:14:00,755

Well, why not?

Was I doing something particularly saucy?

00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:06,135

All right, fine. Um...

00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:08,263

Well, you were not the only one there.

00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,891

Joey was there too.

00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:14,936

All right.

00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:18,565

Was there, uh, heh...

00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,903

...anybody else there?

00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,155

- No.

- You sure?

00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:30,618

Nobody, uh, handing out mints

or anything?

00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,955

No, it was just the three of us.

00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:35,748

Oh.

00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,836

So tell me, was it like you and Chandler

and then you and me...

00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:41,379

...or you and me and Chandler?

00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:43,673

[CHUCKLES]

00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,467

- You know what?

- What?

00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,636

There were times...

00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:51,055

...when it wasn't even me.

00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,142

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:04,485

That is so sweet, you guys.

00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:09,699

ROSS: Hey, Mon.

RACHEL: Mon.

00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,326

Mon, Ethan called again.

00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:16,122

Mon?

00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,041

ALL:

Mon!

00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,336

- What?

- Ethan called again.

00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:22,670

Oh.

00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:25,924

- You're not seeing him anymore?

- No.

00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,468

You know,

sometimes just things don't work out.

00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:32,847

And this has nothing to do with the fact

that he needs a note to get out of gym?

00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:40,104

I didn't say any...

I did not say anything, I swear.

00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:41,606

He stopped by.

00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,191

JOEY:

Next time you talk to him...

00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:47,362

...could you ask him which one

the strongest Power Ranger is?

00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:49,364

[MONICA LAUGHING]

00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:53,326

Oh, my life is just so amusing. Heh, heh.

Can we drop it now?

00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:54,744

Sorry. Sorry.

00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:56,871

It's morphing time.

00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,581

- Stegosaurus!

- Tyrannosaurus!

00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,792

[GUYS YELLING]

00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,338

Ooh. Oh, I gotta go.

00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,715

Whoa. Ooh, head rush. Oh.

00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:12,178

One more and then I have to go.

00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,554

Cool. Ha, ha.

00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,018

Where you going?

00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:21,729

Oh, I got a birthday party

with some work people.

00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:23,606

Work people?

00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,442

- Nobody told me.

- No, I know.

00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:30,697

That's part of the whole, you know,

them-not-liking-you extravaganza.

00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:36,119

Know what? I don't get this.

A month ago, these people were my friends.

00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:39,247

Just because I'm in charge,

doesn't mean I'm a different person.

00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:42,250

Well, then you should come tonight,

just hang out with them.

00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,419

Let them see

what a great guy you still are.

00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,671

- You think I should?

- I really do, yeah.

00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,715

- Okay. Okay.

PHOEBE: Okay.

00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:50,466

Oh, but, um, could we not go together?

00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:55,596

I don't wanna be the geek

who invited the boss, you know?

00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:00,393

CHANDLER:

I think last night was great.

00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:03,104

You know, the karaoke thing?

Tracy and I doing "Ebony and lvory"?

00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,355

- Mm-hm.

- Ha, ha.

00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:07,316

You were great.

But they still made fun of you.

00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,862

- What?

- Now you're more like Mr. Caring-Boss.

00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,530

Mr. "I'm-One-of-You"-Boss.

00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,533

Mr. "I-Wanna-Be-Your-Buddy"-

Boss-Man-Bing.

00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,703

Then I don't get it.

00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:23,207

Well, you know what, Chandler?

I think you just gotta face it.

00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,835

You're, like, the guy in the big office,

you know?

00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,963

You're the one that hires them

and fires them.

00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:31,841

- They still say you're a great boss.

- They do?

00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:33,092

Uh-huh.

00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,511

But they're not your friends anymore.

00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:37,555

- But I just want to...

- No, but you can't.

00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,891

- But I just want...

- Ah-ah.

00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,524

[BEEPER BEEPING]

00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:51,778

Aren't you gonna...?

00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:53,529

Oh, Carol and I have a new system.

00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:57,450

If she punches in "911,"

it means she's having a baby.

00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,870

- Otherwise, I just ignore it.

- What about Andre?

00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:04,123

This morning he got a call

from what I think was our cousin Nathan.

00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:07,043

And frankly,

it was a little more than I needed to know.

00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,134

Hey.

00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,220

That was gonna be my opener.

00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:22,475

Hey, did you guys check out

those new hand dryers in the bathroom?

00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:25,394

- I thought that was just a rumor.

RACHEL: True story.

00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,359

All right, look, I gotta tell you something.

00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:32,610

I'm not 17.

00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,446

I only said that

so you'd think I was cute and vulnerable.

00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:36,864

I'm actually 30.

00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:40,451

I have a wife. I have a job.

I'm your congressman.

00:18:41,411 --> 00:18:44,038

Monica, this is ridiculous.

We are great together.

00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:47,792

We can talk, we make each other laugh.

And the sex. Oh, man.

00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,295

Okay, I have no frame of reference,

but I thought that was great.

00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:54,340

- It was.

- Then what's the problem?

00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:59,011

Ethan, it's, um...

00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,056

It's icky.

00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:04,725

Icky?

00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:08,479

You're actually gonna throw this away

because it's icky?

00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,816

Look, this isn't easy for me either.

00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,568

I wish things were different.

00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:16,571

If you were a few years older

or I was a few years younger...

00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:19,323

...or we lived in biblical times...

00:19:20,450 --> 00:19:22,869

...I could really...

- No, don't say it.

00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:24,245

- Love you.

00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:30,960

- Are your hands still wet?

- They're moist.

00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,254

- Yeah, right? Ahem.

- Let's dry them again.

00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:42,722

Or, like, "Could these margaritas

be any stronger?"

00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,643

- Hey, Chandler.

- Hello, Mr. Bing.

00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:50,271

Loved your Stevie Wonder last night.

00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:55,359

Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers,

I'm gonna need them on my desk...

00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:57,153

...by 9:00.

00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,989

SANTOS: Sure.

- No problem.

00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:04,410

You have to give them something,

you know?

00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:07,830

Okay, that was Gerston, Santos,

and who's the guy with the mustache?

00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:09,999

- Petrie.

- Petrie. Right, right, okay.

00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,877

Well, some people

are gonna be working...

00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,086

...this weekend.

00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,220

[MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]

00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,197

[MOANING]

00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:46,160

RACHEL:

Oh, that's nice.

00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:50,289

[MOANING]

00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,876

Ross.

00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:05,304

- Ross?

- I'm here.

00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:08,724

You are?

00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:12,895

Uh... Ahem.

00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:16,399

[STAMMERS]

We were just...

00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:18,025

- Wow.

- What?

00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:20,194

[BEEPER BEEPING]

00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:23,614

Heh. Great. Now I'm having a baby.

00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:26,325

- What?

- Oh!

00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:28,411

- No. I'm having... I'm having a baby!

- Oh. Oh!

00:21:28,578 --> 00:21:29,912

- Oh, my God.

- I'm having a...!

00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,957

- The phone, the phone!

- The phone. I don't have the phone. Aah!

00:21:35,877 --> 00:21:38,796

- Ross?

- I'm hurt.

00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:46,178

Monica, let's go.

Come on, now, people. Woman in labor.

00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:50,099

- Hey, Ross, look what I got going here.

- Yeah, save it for the cab, okay?

00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:53,185

What are you doing?

We're going to a hospital.

00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:56,564

What, so I can't look nice?

There might be doctors there.

00:21:56,732 --> 00:22:00,109

- Joey, get out of the fridge.

JOEY: All right, all right.

00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:02,695

- What is that?

- For the ride.

00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,530

- Yeah, like in a cab you...

- Save it.

00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:07,992

- Okay, hating this.

- Monica, come on, now. Let's go.

00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,201

Baby coming. God.

00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:11,495

[CRYING]

I can't believe it. I'm gonna be an aunt.

00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:13,581

- Oh, that's...

- I'm gonna have a nephew.

00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:15,458

Oh, that's nice. Get out.

00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:17,710

- Come on.

- Let's go, come on.

00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:18,919

RACHEL:

Okay. Okay.

00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:21,339

JOEY:

All right, all right, I'm going, I'm going.

00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,723

- Here we go. Here we go.

- Rossy. Rossy.

00:22:30,932 --> 00:22:32,933

[ALL CHATTERING]

00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,191

[English - US - SDH]

00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:04,880

Заткнитесь!

00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,300

"Скажи мне" что?

00:00:06,550 --> 00:00:07,920

Ага, ты даже не смотришь на него

00:00:08,170 --> 00:00:12,090

Говори. Буду знать еще одну причину,

почему женщины на меня не смотрят

00:00:12,340 --> 00:00:13,550

Ладно, ладно, ладно

00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,760

Прошлой ночью мне снился сон...

00:00:17,010 --> 00:00:18,350

...что ты и я...

00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:19,390

...делали...

00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:23,060

...кое-что на этом столе

00:00:23,730 --> 00:00:27,980

Ну ты во сне и кобель

00:00:30,150 --> 00:00:33,360

С чего бы это тебе такое снилось?

00:00:33,610 --> 00:00:34,990

Здесь важнее вопрос...

00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,700

...хорошо ли у меня получалось?

00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:40,660

Ну, у тебя чертовски неплохо

получалось

00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:45,830

Интересно. А то в моих снах

я просто образец убожества

00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:51,130

Ну, этой ночью вместо убожества

стол просто ломился от изобилия

00:00:53,510 --> 00:00:57,390

Как хорошо, когда друзья

делятся сокровенным

00:00:59,850 --> 00:01:00,680

Ты что, расстроен?

00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:04,730

В голове не укладывается,

что вы трахались в ее сне!

00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:06,900

Извини. Это было мимолетное

увлечение

00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:12,030

Я был очень пьяный, и дело было

в подсознании другого человека

00:01:12,110 --> 00:01:15,360

Первый сезон, 22-я серия

"Непристойное поведение"

00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:02,330

Привет, Рэйчел

00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:05,580

Блин, слезай!

00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:11,420

Дай ручку! Ты представляешь меня

оператором сверлильного станка?

00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:14,970

Не знаю. А что на тебе надето?

00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,720

Фибс, зачем тебе нужно работать

на сверлильном станке?

00:02:19,970 --> 00:02:21,310

Нужна временная работа

00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,890

Пока не вернутся некоторые мои

клиенты по массажу

00:02:24,140 --> 00:02:26,060

Опять пираты?

00:02:26,310 --> 00:02:28,770

Нет, ничего подобного

00:02:29,020 --> 00:02:31,190

Просто я такая дура

00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,110

Я провела семинар

"Самомассаж на дому"

00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,150

И теперь у них практика

00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:40,160

Эй, Чен, ты бы мог ее взять

00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,950

Спасибо, Джои. Какая светлая мысль

00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,700

А я могу! Я бы справилась!

00:02:44,950 --> 00:02:46,040

Что за работа?

00:02:46,290 --> 00:02:48,000

Моей секретарши не будет

пару недель

00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:51,540

Она уменьшает одну из своих сисек

00:02:51,790 --> 00:02:54,340

А, это целая сисьтория

00:02:54,590 --> 00:02:56,220

Я могу работать секретаршей

00:02:56,470 --> 00:02:59,050

Не знаю, Фибс,

подойдет ли это тебе...

00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:02,470

...поскольку там нужно быть

практически нормальной...

00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,430

...большую часть дня

00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,940

Я бы справилась

00:03:07,940 --> 00:03:10,060

- С чем это ты играешь?

- С новым пейджером.

00:03:10,310 --> 00:03:12,730

А на кой палеонтологу пейджер?

00:03:12,980 --> 00:03:14,980

У динозавров бывают срочные

дела?

00:03:15,230 --> 00:03:18,530

Помогите! Быстро!

Они все вымерли!

00:03:18,570 --> 00:03:22,070

Это на случай, если у Кэрол

начнутся схватки. Она меня вызовет

00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:26,540

Нужно всего лишь набрать 55-ДЖИМБО

00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:30,170

Классный номер, и потенциальное

имя для ребенка

00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:31,420

Ну все, пока, ребята

00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,340

Спешишь к юному Итану?

00:03:33,590 --> 00:03:35,630

Спасибо тебе

00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:39,170

Насколько юн юный Итан?

Совсем юный?

00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,680

Нашего возраста

00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:45,060

Когда нам было?...

00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:48,930

Ну, он старшекурсник в колледже

00:03:49,180 --> 00:03:51,900

В колледже?

00:03:52,060 --> 00:03:54,980

Этот большой ребенок ничего

не имеет против твоего возраста?

00:03:55,230 --> 00:03:56,280

Нет, конечно, нет

00:03:56,530 --> 00:03:58,360

Такой вопрос вообще не возникал...

00:03:58,610 --> 00:04:00,240

...я ему сказала, что мне 22.

00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,740

- Сколько?

- А что?

00:04:01,990 --> 00:04:03,450

Мне нельзя дать 22?

00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:05,620

Ну, может, 25, 26.

00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,120

Мне и есть 26.

00:04:07,370 --> 00:04:10,040

Вот видишь!

00:04:21,340 --> 00:04:24,260

Слышишь звук?

00:04:26,970 --> 00:04:30,600

Он прекратится, когда ты

возьмешь трубку

00:04:31,890 --> 00:04:34,480

У! Выхожу на связь!

00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:39,690

Кабинет мистера Бинга

00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,360

Нет, извините, он сейчас на

совещании

00:04:42,610 --> 00:04:44,240

Я не на совещании!

00:04:44,490 --> 00:04:47,160

Ему известно, по какому вопросу

обратиться?

00:04:47,410 --> 00:04:48,950

И он знает ваш номер?

00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:53,460

Я прослежу, чтобы он получил

эту информацию. До свидания!

00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:57,880

Росс передает привет

00:04:58,050 --> 00:05:00,630

Как интересно!

Что будем делать дальше?

00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,760

Ну, вообще-то теперь мне

нужно работать

00:05:04,010 --> 00:05:07,220

"Скорее всего, да."

00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,890

Ладно, я буду за дверью

00:05:12,140 --> 00:05:14,020

Всё. Па-па

00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:17,230

Па-па

00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:22,190

Да?

00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,780

А что ты делаешь?

00:05:27,450 --> 00:05:30,830

Так, окна вымыты. Свечи горят

00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,330

Пояс жмет. Надо его поменять

00:05:33,580 --> 00:05:38,130

Я выключила рыбу? Не-а,

поскольку приготовила лазанью.

00:05:38,290 --> 00:05:39,840

Я что, иду вразнос?

00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:41,920

Самую малость

00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:45,880

Мон, я не понимаю. Ты с ним

встречаешься еще с его...

00:05:46,140 --> 00:05:48,430

...вступительных экзаменов

00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,470

Чего это вдруг ты вся такая...?

00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:56,810

Что?

00:05:57,060 --> 00:06:01,440

Сегодня у вас что-то будет?

00:06:01,530 --> 00:06:04,490

Не знаю. Он классный парень...

00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:08,160

...и мне с ним очень хорошо.

Но, знаешь...

00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:13,120

...это случается само собой.

Такие вещи не планируют

00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:16,750

А-а. Ты побрила ноги?

00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:23,460

Может, успокоишься, Росс?

Это был всего лишь сон

00:06:23,710 --> 00:06:26,720

Это не значит...

00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,550

Всё, всё! Ребёнок на подходе!

00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:33,890

Так, успокойся, успокойся.

Всё нормально

00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,940

Алло, здравствуйте.

Мне передали на пейджер

00:06:38,150 --> 00:06:40,190

Нет, Андре здесь нет

00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,860

Третий раз за сегодня

00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:45,610

Да, я уверен

00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:49,240

Нет, сэр. Я не оказываю услуги

такого рода

00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:50,950

Услуги?

00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,870

А, услуги

00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:57,790

Да, вам нужен 55-ДЖАМБО

00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:01,630

Именно так

00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,960

Именно так. ДЖАМБО через "а", сэр

00:07:05,210 --> 00:07:06,670

Нет, поверьте, я не подойду

00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:11,180

Судя по его номеру,

я бы вас страшно разочаровал

00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:15,060

Ну ладненько, пока

00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,100

Привет! Как прошел первый день?

00:07:19,350 --> 00:07:22,690

Отлично!

Все были такие приветливые!

00:07:22,940 --> 00:07:26,490

Видишь? Хорошо иметь таких

популярных друзей

00:07:26,740 --> 00:07:29,110

Меня

00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:32,120

- Я не сказала, что знаю тебя.

- Почему?

00:07:32,370 --> 00:07:34,910

Ну, потому что... Сам знаешь!

00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,210

Они тебя не любят

00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:41,250

Что?

00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:44,090

- Я думала, ты знаешь.

- Не-э-э.

00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:46,710

Кто именно меня не любит?

00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,590

Да все

00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:50,470

Кроме, разве что...

00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,850

Нет. Все

00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,470

Что ты такое говоришь?

00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,100

Ну не сердись

00:07:58,350 --> 00:08:00,560

Знаешь, раньше ты им

очень нравился

00:08:00,810 --> 00:08:03,150

Но потом тебя повысили,

и теперь ты...

00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,610

..."мистер босс".

Ну, большая шишка

00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:08,780

Мистер Бинг. Шишка босс Бинг

00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:11,320

Ушам своим не верю

00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:15,030

Ага.

Они тебя даже передразнивают

00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,080

Передразнивают?

00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,540

Ну да, знаешь, типа...

00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:23,670

"А вы сдать отчет ПОПОЗЖЕ

не могли?"

00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,550

Я так не говорю

00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,180

Еще как говоришь

00:08:32,430 --> 00:08:35,510

"И в горах зазвенели...

00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:39,100

...МУЗЫКИ звуки"

00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:44,020

"Моя булочка!

00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:47,650

МО-Я булочка!"

00:08:48,230 --> 00:08:52,110

Ни фига. Не говорю я так.

Это такая НЕправда

00:08:53,780 --> 00:08:55,740

Это ТАКАЯ...

Это ТАКАЯ...

00:08:55,990 --> 00:08:59,620

Это...

Да ну вас всех!

00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:04,460

- Да ты что!

- Говорю тебе, до 9 лет...

00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:07,960

...я думал, что прицел -

это такое место преступления

00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:09,090

Как такое может быть?

00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,170

Подумай - так всегда говорят

в новостях

00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:14,220

"Заложника держат под прицелом."

00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:17,010

"Преступники взяли группу

туристов на прицел."

00:09:17,260 --> 00:09:21,980

И я всё думал, почему люди до сих

пор не избегают этого места?

00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:28,650

Всё, мне пора

00:09:37,070 --> 00:09:39,740

- Если только...

- Что?

00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,450

Если ты не хочешь остаться на ночь

00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:46,000

Я-то все равно ночую здесь.

Так что...

00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:50,840

Да, я бы очень этого хотел

00:09:56,590 --> 00:10:00,810

Но прежде чем мы, собственно,

начнем ночевать...

00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:03,350

...я бы хотел кое-что сказать

00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:06,850

Ладно. Это типа "у меня завтра

с утра занятия"...

00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:09,980

...или "я женат тайным браком

на козе"?

00:10:10,230 --> 00:10:13,820

Ну, это нечто... среднее

00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:18,240

Понимаешь, с чисто технической

точки зрения, я как бы...

00:10:18,490 --> 00:10:21,330

В смысле, я еще никогда...

00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:23,450

Итан?

00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:25,000

Ты девственник?

00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:29,380

Ну... если это у вас, молодых,

теперь так называется, то...

00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:32,130

...да, это так

00:10:33,590 --> 00:10:38,550

Девственник. Я вообще ждал,

когда попадется хорошая девушка

00:10:38,890 --> 00:10:41,720

Правда?

00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:46,440

Ты же поняла, что я говорил

о тебе, да?

00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,070

Ого!

00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,240

Да, красноречиво

00:10:58,490 --> 00:11:01,910

Знаешь, можно об этом читать.

Можно видеть в кино.

00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:05,950

Можно даже дома потренироваться,

но, блин-вареник...

00:11:06,210 --> 00:11:10,290

...в жизни всё гораздо круче

00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:14,760

Слушай, слушай

00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:19,510

Ты сказал мне то, что тебе

было нелегко сказать

00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:24,390

Я думаю, в ответ на твою честность

мне тоже стоит кое в чем признаться

00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,810

Только не говори,

что я все сделал не так

00:11:29,650 --> 00:11:33,230

Нет, всё было в полном порядке

00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,900

Так вот

00:11:38,150 --> 00:11:40,410

Мне не 22 года.

00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:43,990

Мне 25 лет...

00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:47,160

...и 13 месяцев

00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:51,040

Но я думаю, это не играет роли

00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:55,170

Какое к черту значение

имеет наш возраст?

00:11:57,340 --> 00:11:59,050

Послушай...

00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:02,970

...раз уж мы тут рассказываем

всякие вещи...

00:12:03,470 --> 00:12:06,140

...у меня тоже есть что сказать

00:12:06,390 --> 00:12:10,270

Я немного моложе, чем я сказал

00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:12,190

Ты не старшекурсник?

00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,980

О нет, я-то старше...

00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:21,110

...классник

00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,830

Мы совершили ошибку

00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:39,970

Блин, моего партнера еще в живых

не было на 200-летие США!

00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:44,290

А я трахнулся

00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,380

Итан, сосредоточься.

Как ты мог мне не сказать?

00:12:48,630 --> 00:12:49,960

Ты мне тоже не сказала

свой возраст

00:12:50,210 --> 00:12:51,250

Тут есть разница!

00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:56,090

Мое вранье не сделало одного

из нас преступником в 48 штатах!

00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:59,430

- Чем ты думал?

- Я не думал. Я слишком очумел от...

00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:00,510

Не говори это слово!

00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,310

..любви к тебе

00:13:03,430 --> 00:13:04,600

Правда?

00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:07,440

Извини

00:13:07,770 --> 00:13:09,060

Тогда лечись от этой чумы

00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:13,230

Тебе вообще здесь не место.

Тебе завтра в школу!

00:13:14,730 --> 00:13:16,570

О господи!

00:13:16,820 --> 00:13:19,070

Я как одна из тех женщин,

которые...

00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:23,280

...ходят с лощеными красавчиками

по имени Чед

00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:28,290

Я Джоан Коллинз

00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,460

Кто?

00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:44,060

Да, Андре придет примерно

через три четверти часа

00:13:44,310 --> 00:13:47,890

Ну ладненько. До свидания

00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:52,110

Так оно просто легче

00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,730

Ну давай, расскажи

свой последний сон

00:13:54,980 --> 00:13:56,570

Нет. И не надейся

00:13:56,820 --> 00:14:02,280

Почему? Я сделал что-то

особенно... эдакое?

00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:06,040

Ладно. Уговорил

00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:09,790

Ты там был не один

00:14:09,870 --> 00:14:12,380

Там был и Джои тоже

00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:15,920

Так-так

00:14:16,250 --> 00:14:19,340

А больше...

00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:23,930

...там никого не было?

00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:25,220

Нет

00:14:25,470 --> 00:14:27,430

Точно? А никто там...

00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:31,900

...свечку не держал или как?

00:14:32,310 --> 00:14:35,480

Нет, были только мы трое

00:14:36,980 --> 00:14:38,740

Так, значит, ты с Чендлером...

00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:42,910

...потом ты со мной, или сразу

ты со мной и Чендлером?

00:14:43,780 --> 00:14:46,450

- А знаете что?

- Что?

00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:48,540

Время от времени...

00:14:48,790 --> 00:14:52,330

...вы вообще обходились без меня

00:15:00,670 --> 00:15:05,680

Как я рада за вас, ребята!

00:15:09,850 --> 00:15:12,850

Мон, Итан опять звонил

00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:19,780

Что?

00:15:20,030 --> 00:15:22,530

Итан звонил снова

00:15:22,780 --> 00:15:24,160

Ты с ним уже не встречаешься?

00:15:24,410 --> 00:15:25,820

Нет

00:15:26,070 --> 00:15:28,450

Иногда отношения просто

не складываются

00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:34,370

А это не потому, что его

не отпустили с урока физкультуры?

00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:40,000

Я ничего не говорила...

Ничего! Я клянусь

00:15:40,260 --> 00:15:41,420

Он сам зашел по дороге

00:15:41,670 --> 00:15:43,050

Когда будешь с ним говорить...

00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:48,430

...может, спросишь, который из

Пауэр Рейнджеров самый сильный?

00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:53,180

Да, вот такая забавная у меня

жизнь. Может, хватит?

00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,060

Извини

00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:56,730

"Пора превращаться!"

00:15:56,980 --> 00:16:00,110

- Стегозавр!

- Тираннозавр!

00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,700

У, а! Мне пора идти

00:16:05,950 --> 00:16:08,870

А, у! Кровь ударила в голову

00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:12,160

Еще разок, и уже пошла

00:16:12,410 --> 00:16:15,000

Круто

00:16:17,290 --> 00:16:19,250

А куда ты идешь?

00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,590

На день рождения к сотруднику

00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:24,260

К сотруднику?

00:16:24,510 --> 00:16:25,470

А мне никто не сказал

00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,010

Ага, я знаю. Это у них...

00:16:28,260 --> 00:16:32,180

...прикол такой - тебя не любить

00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:35,850

Не понимаю. Месяц назад они все

были моими друзьями

00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:39,230

Ну, стал я начальником. Сам-то я

не изменился

00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:44,280

Тогда идем, повеселимся. Покажешь

им, какой ты классный парень

00:16:44,530 --> 00:16:48,200

- Ты так думаешь?

- Правда, пойдем.

00:16:48,780 --> 00:16:51,990

Только можно мы придем отдельно?

00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:56,410

Не хочу быть конченой дурой,

которая привела начальника

00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:00,290

Прошлый вечер прошел потрясающе

00:17:00,540 --> 00:17:04,300

Помнишь караоке? Мы с Трейси спели

"Черное дерево и слоновую кость"

00:17:04,550 --> 00:17:07,680

Ты был чудо!

Но они все равно над тобой смеются

00:17:07,930 --> 00:17:08,720

Что?

00:17:08,970 --> 00:17:10,760

Теперь ты типа

"мистер демократичный босс"

00:17:11,010 --> 00:17:12,510

Мистер Начальник-Тоже-Человек

00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:16,560

Мистер Я-всем-вам-дружбан.

Босс-Шишка-Бинг!

00:17:16,810 --> 00:17:19,100

Тогда вообще ничего не понимаю

00:17:19,350 --> 00:17:23,070

А знаешь что, Чендлер? По-моему,

тебе нужно смириться с этим

00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,740

Ты же теперь типа человек

в своем кабинете

00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:28,860

Ты их берешь на работу и

увольняешь

00:17:29,110 --> 00:17:30,700

К тому же они говорят, что ты -

хороший начальник

00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:31,780

Правда?

00:17:32,030 --> 00:17:35,450

Но теперь вы больше не друзья

00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:38,420

- Я просто хочу...

- Но не можешь.

00:17:38,670 --> 00:17:41,380

- Но я хотел...

- Нэ-а.

00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:51,640

А ты не...

00:17:51,890 --> 00:17:55,520

У нас с Кэрол новая система.

Если она передает 9-1-1...

00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:59,310

...это значит, она рожает.

А если нет - я просто игнорирую

00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:00,690

А что там с Андре?

00:18:00,940 --> 00:18:04,020

Ему позвонил, кажется,

наш с тобой кузен Натан

00:18:04,270 --> 00:18:08,570

И откровенно говоря, я бы

предпочел всего этого не знать

00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:18,410

Это была моя заготовка

00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:22,460

Эй! Вы, ребята, уже видели новые

сушилки для рук в туалете?

00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:26,500

- Я думал, это только слухи.

- Нет, это правда.

00:18:29,230 --> 00:18:31,490

Послушай, я хочу тебе сказать

00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:35,490

Мне не 17 лет. Я так сказал,

чтобы ты решила, какой я милый

и стеснительный

00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:36,910

Вообще-то мне 30.

00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:41,290

У меня есть жена. Я работаю.

Я конгрессмен от твоего штата

00:18:41,540 --> 00:18:44,210

Моника, это всё курам на смех.

Нам же хорошо вместе!

00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:48,340

Мы разговариваем. Нам весело.

А секс - господи боже мой!

00:18:48,590 --> 00:18:52,420

Сравнивать мне не с чем,

но это было потрясающе!

00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:56,050

- Правда.

- Так в чем проблема?

00:18:57,180 --> 00:19:00,720

Итан, это...

00:19:01,310 --> 00:19:03,060

Это непристойно

00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,770

Непристойно?

00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:09,770

Ты хочешь прекратить наши отношения,

потому что это непристойно?

00:19:10,020 --> 00:19:12,030

Мне это тоже нелегко

00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:13,820

Жаль, что всё не вышло по-другому

00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:16,610

Если бы ты был старше,

или я моложе...

00:19:16,860 --> 00:19:20,240

...или мы жили бы

в библейские времена...

00:19:20,490 --> 00:19:21,290

...то я бы смогла тебя...

00:19:21,540 --> 00:19:23,080

Нет, не говори

00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:25,960

...полюбить тебя

00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:31,250

- У тебя руки мокрые?

- Влажные.

00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:34,720

Тогда еще сушиться

00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:44,310

А он, типа "Не могли сделать

эту маргариту ЕЩЕ крепче?"

00:19:44,980 --> 00:19:46,140

Здравствуйте, Чендлер

00:19:46,390 --> 00:19:47,730

Здравствуйте, мистер Бинг

00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:51,980

Вы классно вчера изобразили

Стиви Уандера

00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:54,480

Спасибо.

Теперь о сводках за неделю...

00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:57,280

...они должны лежать у меня

на столе к ДЕВЯТИ часам

00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:00,950

- Конечно.

- Без проблем.

00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,450

Надо же их как-то загрузить

00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:07,830

Это были Герстон, Сантос...

а как зовут того, с усами?

00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,000

- Петри.

- Петри. Ну хорошо.

00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:12,920

Так-так, кое-кому придется

поработать...

00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,710

...НА выходные

00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:47,740

Ой, как хорошо

00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:54,370

Росс!

00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,550

Я здесь

00:21:07,260 --> 00:21:09,850

Правда?

00:21:14,020 --> 00:21:17,350

Мы только что...

00:21:17,690 --> 00:21:20,070

Что?

00:21:21,940 --> 00:21:24,070

Ну вот. У меня рождается ребенок

00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,320

Что?

00:21:26,570 --> 00:21:29,780

Ребенок! Рождается ребенок...

00:21:30,030 --> 00:21:34,290

- Телефон, телефон!

- У меня его нет.

00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:39,920

Я ушибся

00:21:43,460 --> 00:21:46,550

Моника, пошли! Идемте, народ!

У нее схватки!

00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:50,680

- Росс, послушай, это смешно.

- Расскажешь в такси.

00:21:50,970 --> 00:21:53,270

Что ты делаешь? Что ты делаешь?

Мы едем в больницу!

00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,690

Мне нельзя быть красивой?

Там же будут врачи

00:21:56,940 --> 00:22:00,610

- Джои, отойди от холодильника!

- Ладно, ладно!

00:22:00,860 --> 00:22:02,770

- Что это?

- Это в дорогу.

00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:04,740

- Как будто в такси...

- Хватит!

00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:05,780

Я ненавижу это

00:22:06,030 --> 00:22:08,030

Моника, шевелись! Поехали!

00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:09,240

Ребенок на подходе!

00:22:09,490 --> 00:22:11,990

Не верится, что я буду теткой!

00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:13,660

У меня будет племянник!

00:22:13,910 --> 00:22:17,160

Это здорово. Выметайся!

00:22:19,210 --> 00:22:22,670

Всё-всё, я иду. Уже иду

00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:32,260

Росси, идем. Пошли, пошли