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На праздновании дня рождения Рэйчел Чендлер случайно признался Россу в любви. Рэйчел едет в аэропорт, чтобы встретить Росса и сказать ему, что она его любит, не зная, что он возвращается с Джули (Лорен Том), с которой он возобновил отношения в Китае и теперь встречается. Чендлер чувствует себя виноватым за то, что посоветовал Россу забыть Рэйчел. Когда Фиби стрижёт Джоуи и Чендлера, Моника тоже хочет подстричься. Фиби сначала отказывается, зная одержимый перфекционизм Моники, но в конце концов уступает. Она неправильно понимает желания Моники и делает ей стрижку, как у Дадли Мура, а не как у Деми Мур. Джоуи отправляет Чендлера к своему портному за новым костюмом, но во время измерения длины его штанин мужчина неподобающим образом прикасается к Чендлеру. Чендлер рассказывает об этом Джоуи, который наивно полагает, что это обычная процедура. Постоянные разговоры Росса о Джули расстраивают Рэйчел, которая проводит ночь со своим бывшим возлюбленным Паоло.

Эпизод с новой девушкой Росса»

The One with Ross's New Girlfriend
Сезон: 02Серия: 01

Описание

На праздновании дня рождения Рэйчел Чендлер случайно признался Россу в любви. Рэйчел едет в аэропорт, чтобы встретить Росса и сказать ему, что она его любит, не зная, что он возвращается с Джули (Лорен Том), с которой он возобновил отношения в Китае и теперь встречается. Чендлер чувствует себя виноватым за то, что посоветовал Россу забыть Рэйчел. Когда Фиби стрижёт Джоуи и Чендлера, Моника тоже хочет подстричься. Фиби сначала отказывается, зная одержимый перфекционизм Моники, но в конце концов уступает. Она неправильно понимает желания Моники и делает ей стрижку, как у Дадли Мура, а не как у Деми Мур. Джоуи отправляет Чендлера к своему портному за новым костюмом, но во время измерения длины его штанин мужчина неподобающим образом прикасается к Чендлеру. Чендлер рассказывает об этом Джоуи, который наивно полагает, что это обычная процедура. Постоянные разговоры Росса о Джули расстраивают Рэйчел, которая проводит ночь со своим бывшим возлюбленным Паоло.

Субтитры

eng__.srt

eng__.srt

00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:01,470

Oh, my God.

00:01:01,890 --> 00:01:05,390

Oh, my--Excuse me. Move, move,

move! Emergency, please!

00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,020

Excuse me, excuse me.

00:01:08,650 --> 00:01:10,060

[YELLS]

00:01:13,860 --> 00:01:15,900

-Rach!

- Ah!

00:01:16,070 --> 00:01:17,530

There you are!

00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:19,620

ROSS: Hey!

-Hi!

00:01:19,820 --> 00:01:22,830

Oh! So, so.

00:01:22,990 --> 00:01:25,790

How was China? You!

00:01:26,410 --> 00:01:29,330

It was-- It was great.

Oh, what happened?

00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:31,250

-What? I am?

-You're bleeding.

00:01:31,420 --> 00:01:33,050

-God.

-Oh, look at that! Yes, I am. Heh.

00:01:33,210 --> 00:01:36,300

Enough about me,

Mr. Back From The Orient!

00:01:36,470 --> 00:01:40,140

Come on, I wanna hear everything.

Everything!

00:01:41,470 --> 00:01:44,100

Well, uh, where do I start? Um....

00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:48,440

This is Julie.

Uh, Julie, this is Rachel.

00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,270

Hi. Heh.

00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,480

Uh, oh! These are....

00:01:53,650 --> 00:01:56,280

-These are-- Aren't for you.

-Oh.

00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,280

Heh. Uh, these are for you.

00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:02,320

[SLOWLY]

Welcome to our country.

00:02:04,330 --> 00:02:07,700

[SLOWLY]

Thank you. I'm from New York.

00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:10,000

[LAUGHS]

00:02:10,170 --> 00:02:13,710

Well, not a problem.

We'll use them to stop the bleeding.

00:02:14,420 --> 00:02:16,840

Okay. Uh, baggage claim?

00:02:17,010 --> 00:02:18,510

-Okay.

-Okay.

00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,470

-No way.

-I'm telling you, she went to the airport.

00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:28,430

And she's gonna go for it with Ross.

00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:32,650

Oh, my God. This is huge. This....

00:02:32,810 --> 00:02:35,070

This is bigger than huge.

This is....

00:02:35,230 --> 00:02:37,320

All right, what's bigger than huge?

00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,860

-Um, this?

-Yes.

00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:43,450

Guys, you got new haircuts!

00:02:43,620 --> 00:02:45,780

Yes, yes, we did.

Thanks to Vidal Buffay.

00:02:45,950 --> 00:02:47,540

[CHUCKLES]

00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:48,750

Because, you know:

00:02:48,910 --> 00:02:51,250

[lN LOW VOICE] "lf you don't

look good, we don't look good."

00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:53,500

[lN NORMAL VOICE]

I love that voice! Ha, ha.

00:02:54,380 --> 00:02:56,500

-You guys!

-Oh, oh.

00:02:56,670 --> 00:02:59,090

Airport. Airport. Ross.

00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:00,760

Not-- Not alone.

00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:04,050

Julie. Arm around her!

00:03:04,220 --> 00:03:07,890

Unh! Cramp! Cramp! Cramp!

00:03:08,060 --> 00:03:10,680

Okay, I think she's trying

to tell us something.

00:03:10,850 --> 00:03:13,020

Quick, get the verbs.

00:03:13,190 --> 00:03:15,440

-Ow.

-You! You!

00:03:15,610 --> 00:03:17,110

You said he liked me!

00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,820

You! You--!

00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,450

You slowpokes!

00:03:21,610 --> 00:03:24,490

That's all right, Rach.

We got the bags. Uh....

00:03:24,660 --> 00:03:26,580

Hi. Hello.

00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:30,790

Julie, this is my sister, Monica.

This is Chandler.

00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,870

-Hey.

-Phoebe, hi. Mwah.

00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:34,960

-Joey, what up?

-Hey.

00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:38,710

-Everyone, this is Julie.

-Julie.

00:03:39,090 --> 00:03:41,170

ALL:

Oh.

00:03:42,930 --> 00:03:44,930

ALL:

Hi!

00:03:45,090 --> 00:03:47,180

Hi! But I'm not here,

you haven't met me.

00:03:47,350 --> 00:03:50,890

I'll make a better impression when

I don't have 20 hours of plane on me.

00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:53,060

- And bus.

-Oh, my God!

00:03:53,230 --> 00:03:55,440

-With the screaming guy--

-And the spitting.

00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,730

ROSS:

You gotta hear this story.

00:03:57,900 --> 00:04:00,030

We're on this bus

that's 200 years old.

00:04:00,190 --> 00:04:01,860

Two hundred, at least.

00:04:02,030 --> 00:04:05,490

-And this guy--

-And the chicken poops in her lap! Ha!

00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:12,830

Oh, I'm so sorry.

00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,210

I just gave away the ending, didn't I?

00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,670

Ugh, I just heard this story in the cab...

00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:21,670

...and it is all I can think about.

00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:26,800

This is amazing. I mean, how--?

00:04:26,970 --> 00:04:30,060

-How did this happen?

-Ross and I were in grad school together.

00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:33,480

We haven't seen each other since then.

I land in China...

00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,940

-...guess who's in charge of the dig?

-Julie!

00:04:38,610 --> 00:04:39,980

Julie. lsn't that great?

00:04:40,570 --> 00:04:45,200

Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch,

spit-on-your-neck fantastic?

00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,320

It's an expression.

00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,200

We just wanted to say a quick hi.

00:04:52,370 --> 00:04:54,960

-Then we're gonna go see the baby.

-Then get some sleep.

00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,540

Yeah, it's 6:00 tomorrow night, our time.

00:04:57,710 --> 00:04:59,840

Well don't tell us

what's gonna happen, though

00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,800

Because I like to be surprised.

00:05:05,970 --> 00:05:07,720

RACHEL: Bye!

ROSS: Bye.

00:05:18,310 --> 00:05:20,480

-Rach. Can I get some coffee? Thank you.

-Sure.

00:05:20,650 --> 00:05:22,360

-Hey, Rach--

-Did you talk to him yet?

00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,440

-No.

-Then, no.

00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,330

So, what the hell happened

to you in China?

00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:42,670

I mean, when last we left you,

you were in love with, you know.

00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:45,090

I know. I know I was.

00:05:45,260 --> 00:05:47,920

But there was always this voice

inside that kept saying:

00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:52,180

"lt's never gonna happen. Move on."

You know whose voice that was?

00:05:52,930 --> 00:05:54,260

God?

00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:56,850

It was you, pal.

00:05:57,850 --> 00:05:59,690

Well, maybe it was God doing me.

00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:05,110

You were right. She looks at me

and sees a friend. That's all.

00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:07,990

And then I met Julie, and....

00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:09,990

I don't know. We're having a great time.

00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:14,450

I never would have gone for it with her,

if it hadn't been for you.

00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:18,290

Well, you owe me one, big guy.

00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,420

-Here's your lemonade.

-I didn't order lemonade.

00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:24,500

Oh. Well then you better go

take that back.

00:06:24,670 --> 00:06:26,250

They're gonna charge you for that.

00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,920

-But--

-Go, go, go! Come on, come on!

00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:33,220

Okay, so, uh, what did you find out?

00:06:34,010 --> 00:06:37,060

He said....

00:06:40,230 --> 00:06:42,520

He said they're having a great time.

00:06:42,690 --> 00:06:45,020

-I'm sorry.

-What?

00:06:45,190 --> 00:06:47,860

But the silver lining,

if you wanna see it...

00:06:48,030 --> 00:06:51,490

...is that he made this decision

all by himself...

00:06:51,660 --> 00:06:54,660

...without any outside help whatsoever.

00:06:55,450 --> 00:06:57,830

How is that a silver lining?

00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,620

You have to really wanna see it.

00:07:03,210 --> 00:07:04,790

[CHEERlNG ON TV]

00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:09,090

Ironically, these guys

were picked last in gym.

00:07:10,170 --> 00:07:11,760

Hey, Pheebs.

00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:14,800

-You know what I'm thinking?

-Oh, okay.

00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,350

How...

00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,230

...it's been so long

since you've had sex...

00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,940

...you're wondering

if they've changed it?

00:07:27,110 --> 00:07:30,740

No. Although now

that's what I'm thinking.

00:07:32,110 --> 00:07:33,860

So, what were you thinking?

00:07:34,030 --> 00:07:36,490

I was thinking

you gave the guys great haircuts.

00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:38,200

I thought you'd like to do mine.

00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:40,080

Oh! No.

00:07:41,620 --> 00:07:44,330

-Why not?

-Because I'm just....

00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:48,040

I'm incredibly anal and

an unbelievable control freak.

00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:49,750

No, you're not.

00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,800

I know I'm not, but you are.

00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:54,090

I was trying to spare your feelings.

00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:55,720

[PHONE RINGS]

00:07:55,890 --> 00:07:58,050

Hello? Oh, hi.

00:07:58,220 --> 00:08:01,100

Yeah, hold on a second.

Ross, Julie for you.

00:08:04,730 --> 00:08:06,440

ROSS:

Hello? Hi.

00:08:07,230 --> 00:08:09,770

Hey. Anybody know a good tailor?

00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:11,990

-You need clothes altered?

-No, no.

00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:14,860

I'm just looking for a man

to draw on me with chalk.

00:08:15,780 --> 00:08:18,910

Go see Frankie. My family's

been going to him forever.

00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,990

He did my first suit when I was 1 5.

00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,540

No, wait, 1 6.

00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:27,380

No, excuse me, heh, 1 5.

00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:30,840

All right, when was 1 990?

00:08:32,630 --> 00:08:36,010

Okay, you have to stop the Q-Tip

when there's resistance.

00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,440

Okay. Okay.

Sweetheart, I'll see you later.

00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:47,650

[CLEARS THROAT]

00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:49,650

Okay, bye. What?

00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:53,440

Oh, that is so sweet.

00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,990

No-- Ha, ha.

00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,240

No. Okay. No, you hang up.

00:08:59,410 --> 00:09:01,120

No, you-- Okay.

00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:04,960

Okay. One, two, three.

00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,000

Shh.

00:09:07,670 --> 00:09:10,960

Well you didn't hang up either.

She didn't hang up.

00:09:12,710 --> 00:09:14,210

[LAUGHlNG]

00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:17,680

Okay, no. No, you hang up.

00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,600

You. You. Yo--

00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,610

Sorry, I thought

you were talking to me.

00:09:33,730 --> 00:09:35,360

-Rachel. Heh.

-Sorry.

00:09:35,530 --> 00:09:37,780

-I'll just call her back.

-Okay.

00:09:38,820 --> 00:09:41,370

ROSS: Hi, sweetie. I'm sorry.

We got disconnected.

00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:42,830

No, you hang up.

00:09:42,990 --> 00:09:45,330

Okay, okay, okay.

How did this happen to me? How?

00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:48,330

A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine.

00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,290

Ross was just Ross. Just this guy.

00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:55,010

Now all of a sudden, he's Ross...

00:09:55,630 --> 00:09:59,760

...ugh, this really great guy

that I can't have.

00:10:00,050 --> 00:10:02,260

Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too.

00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:03,600

I know you did.

00:10:05,140 --> 00:10:08,140

Ugh. I'm just gonna deal with it.

I'm just gonna deal with it

00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:09,940

[ROSS KlSSES lNTO PHONE]

00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,570

I gotta get out of here!

00:10:16,690 --> 00:10:20,030

I don't care what you guys say.

Something's bothering her.

00:10:25,330 --> 00:10:28,120

You know, I think I was 1 6.

00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:33,040

Please, just a little bit off the back.

00:10:33,210 --> 00:10:34,540

Um, I'm still on "no."

00:10:37,010 --> 00:10:38,920

-Uh, morning.

-Hey.

00:10:39,090 --> 00:10:41,090

Could you close your eyes for a sec?

00:10:41,260 --> 00:10:44,430

Oh, no, no, no.

I'm not falling for that again.

00:10:46,850 --> 00:10:50,100

-What's going on?

-I sort of did a stupid thing last night.

00:10:50,270 --> 00:10:52,060

What stupid thing did you do?

00:10:52,730 --> 00:10:54,110

[SPEAKS lN ITALIAN]

00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:55,860

Ew!

00:11:02,530 --> 00:11:04,530

RACHEL:

Why don't you just go get dressed...

00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:08,200

...then you'll be on your way.

Bye-bye.

00:11:09,410 --> 00:11:11,040

Rachel, how did this happen?

00:11:11,210 --> 00:11:13,540

I don't know,

I kind of ran into him last night.

00:11:13,710 --> 00:11:15,090

-Where?

-At his apartment.

00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:16,800

Is this juice?

00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:21,170

Whoa. And the fact that you dumped him

because he hit on Phoebe?

00:11:21,340 --> 00:11:24,470

Oh, God, I know.

I'm pathetic, I'm a loser.

00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:27,890

Honey, you're not pathetic.

You're just sad.

00:11:28,060 --> 00:11:30,430

Yeah. People do stupid things

when they're upset.

00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,690

My God, if I had a nickel

for every guy I wish I hadn't--

00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:40,320

But this is about your horrible mistake.

00:11:42,110 --> 00:11:43,910

-Hi.

ALL: Hey!

00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,240

-Hi....

ROSS: Sorry we're late.

00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:47,660

We were, uh....

00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:50,160

Well, there was touching.

00:11:53,670 --> 00:11:55,540

-Hey--!

-Oh.

00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:58,210

-Hey, Ross!

-Paolo. Ha.

00:11:58,380 --> 00:11:59,710

What a....

00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,300

What, uh--?

What are you doing here?

00:12:03,470 --> 00:12:05,300

-I do Raquel.

- Ah.

00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:13,480

So, uh, he's back?

00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,230

Yeah, he's back. ls that a problem?

00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,860

No, not a problem.

00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,360

Good. Glad it's not a problem.

00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:23,900

Okay, you're gonna

have to not touch my ass.

00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:31,450

Well, despite the yummy bagels

and palpable tension...

00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:33,580

...I've got pants that need to be altered.

00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:37,290

Oh, when you see Frankie,

tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello.

00:12:37,460 --> 00:12:39,130

He'll know what it means.

00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:44,220

You sure he's gonna be able

to crack that code?

00:12:45,510 --> 00:12:49,640

It's funny. The last time Paolo was here,

my hair was so much shorter and cuter.

00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:52,390

All right. Okay.

00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:57,060

But-- But! You have to promise that you

will not be all controlly and bossy...

00:12:57,230 --> 00:13:00,020

...and all, you know, Monica about it.

00:13:00,650 --> 00:13:01,730

I promise.

00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,570

All right, let's see.

00:13:03,740 --> 00:13:07,910

Now, some of you are gonna get cut

and some of you aren't.

00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,280

But I promise,

none of you will feel a thing.

00:13:12,580 --> 00:13:13,950

Okay.

00:13:25,090 --> 00:13:28,380

-All right, that's it. I quit.

-What? I didn't say anything!

00:13:28,550 --> 00:13:32,310

Yeah, but this isn't the face of

a person who trusts a person.

00:13:32,470 --> 00:13:35,390

This is the face of

a person who, you know...

00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:37,690

...doesn't trust a person.

00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:40,480

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe.

00:13:40,650 --> 00:13:44,400

It's just a little shorter

than what we had discussed.

00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:48,070

Would you relax?

I know what I am doing.

00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:50,870

This is how he wears it.

00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,450

-How who wears it?

-Demi Moore.

00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:58,500

Heh. Demi Moore is not a he.

00:13:58,710 --> 00:14:01,420

Well, he was a he

in Arthur and in 10.

00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:05,130

That's Dudley Moore!

00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:08,090

I said I wanted it like Demi Moore!

00:14:08,260 --> 00:14:10,970

-Oh. Oh!

-Oh, my God!

00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,140

-Oh, God!

-Oh, my God!

00:14:14,310 --> 00:14:16,680

Oh, my God! I'm sorry!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

00:14:16,850 --> 00:14:18,230

Which one is Demi Moore?

00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:23,270

She's the actress that was in

Disclosure, lndecent Proposal, Ghost!

00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,110

Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.

00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,490

-I know!

-Oh, my God!

00:14:33,990 --> 00:14:35,950

How long do you want the cuffs?

00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,870

At least as long as I have the pants.

00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,460

I just got that.

00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:49,840

Okay. Now we'll do your inseam.

00:14:50,010 --> 00:14:51,680

[CLEARS THROAT]

00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,020

How is she?

00:15:05,690 --> 00:15:07,610

It's too soon to tell.

00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:11,360

She's resting, which is a good sign.

00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:15,280

-How's the hair?

-I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross.

00:15:15,450 --> 00:15:17,200

It doesn't look good.

00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:22,290

I put a clip on one side, which seems

to have stopped the curling.

00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:25,290

Can we see her?

00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,000

Your hair looks too good.

It would upset her.

00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:31,380

Ross, why don't you come on in.

00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:40,980

-Well, how you doing?

-I'm okay.

00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:43,600

-Ooh, that bad, huh?

-What?

00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:47,270

Look, I can sense when women

are depressed and vulnerable.

00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,940

It's one of my gifts. Sit.

00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:52,780

Ugh.

00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:57,950

Ugh, Joey, when I saw him

get off that plane with her...

00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:01,410

...I really thought I just hit rock bottom.

00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:05,120

But today, it's like there's rock bottom...

00:16:05,290 --> 00:16:07,250

...50 feet of crap...

00:16:07,420 --> 00:16:09,340

...then me.

00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:11,920

You gotta tell Ross how you feel.

00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:15,220

Oh, come on, how can I just tell him?

What about Julie?

00:16:15,390 --> 00:16:18,260

What about her? They've only

been going out for two weeks.

00:16:18,430 --> 00:16:21,720

Ross has been in love

with you for 1 0 years.

00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:25,100

-I don't know. I don't know.

-Look, Rach, Rach.

00:16:25,270 --> 00:16:27,690

I've been with my share of women.

00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,230

I've been with a lot

of people's share of women.

00:16:32,190 --> 00:16:33,820

But the point is...

00:16:33,990 --> 00:16:38,120

...I've never felt about anyone

the way Ross felt about you.

00:16:40,410 --> 00:16:41,660

Really?

00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:50,090

Yo, paisan.

00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:54,800

Can I talk to you for a sec?

00:16:58,220 --> 00:16:59,800

Your tailor...

00:17:00,010 --> 00:17:02,390

...is a very bad man!

00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,730

-Frankie? What are you talking about?

-Hey, what's going on?

00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,440

Joey's tailor...

00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,820

...took advantage of me.

00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,040

-What?

-No way.

00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,540

I've been going to the guy for 12 years.

00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:27,870

Oh, come on.

He said he was gonna do my inseam.

00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:31,710

Then he ran his hand up my leg

and then there was definite--

00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,300

What?

00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,470

Cupping.

00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:41,140

That's how they do pants!

00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,220

First they go up one side,

they move it over.

00:17:45,390 --> 00:17:49,480

Then they go up the other side,

move it back, then they do the rear.

00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:55,360

What? Ross, tell him.

Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?

00:17:55,530 --> 00:17:57,610

Yes, yes, it is. In prison!

00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,750

What's the matter with you?

00:18:06,910 --> 00:18:08,370

What?

00:18:11,630 --> 00:18:13,250

That's not?

00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,970

Oh, my God.

00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:30,270

Even Mary Tyler Moore

would've been better.

00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:34,360

I like it.

00:18:34,650 --> 00:18:36,190

Yeah, I do. I think it's a 1 0!

00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:37,990

[LAUGHS]

00:18:39,570 --> 00:18:42,570

Thank you. My hair is very amused.

00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:45,490

Oh, come on, things could be worse.

I mean, uh....

00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:48,410

You could "get caught between

the moon and New York City.

00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:49,870

[LAUGHS]

00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,830

I know it's crazy, but it's true."

00:18:55,630 --> 00:18:57,260

Thank you.

00:18:57,420 --> 00:18:59,590

-Well, I gotta go. Bye.

-See you.

00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,050

Bye, Rach!

00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:02,890

RACHEL:

Wait, are you leaving?

00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:05,510

That's what I meant by "bye."

00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,850

Well, uh, can I talk to you for a sec?

00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:09,480

Okay.

00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:14,770

When the doctor does

that hernia test....

00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,070

That's okay.

00:19:20,570 --> 00:19:22,320

-What's going on?

-Um....

00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:26,910

-Well, um, okay, first of all...

-Mm-hm.

00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:30,000

...Paolo and I are not back together.

00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:31,960

That was a stupid thing I did.

00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:35,290

If I could go back in time

and do it again...

00:19:35,460 --> 00:19:37,630

...well, I wouldn't.

00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,760

- Ahem.

-Um....

00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,970

-Heh.

-Second of all....

00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:44,550

What?

00:19:44,970 --> 00:19:48,220

Before I say anything...

00:19:48,390 --> 00:19:51,230

...is this one of those things

where you break up with a guy.

00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:52,850

Then I tell you what I think...

00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:55,440

...and the next day

you get back together with him...

00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:58,440

-...and I look like a complete idiot?

-No, no, no.

00:19:58,610 --> 00:20:01,990

Okay. Um, well, then,

I think the guy's scum.

00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:06,620

I hate him. I mean, I actually--

I physically hate him.

00:20:07,870 --> 00:20:09,160

You know? I always have.

00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:13,330

And you are way too good

to be with a guy like that.

00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:15,750

-Really?

-Rach?

00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,540

You deserve to be with someone

who appreciates you...

00:20:18,710 --> 00:20:21,010

...and who gets how funny...

00:20:21,170 --> 00:20:23,670

...and sweet and amazing...

00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:26,970

...and adorable and sexy you are.

00:20:27,140 --> 00:20:30,770

You know? Someone who wakes up

every morning thinking:

00:20:31,020 --> 00:20:34,640

"Oh, my God. I'm with Rachel!" Heh.

00:20:34,810 --> 00:20:37,730

You know? Someone

who makes you feel good.

00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:40,070

Like the way I do with Julie.

00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:48,320

Was there a "second of all"?

00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,700

Um....

00:20:52,910 --> 00:20:57,120

No, um, I think that was the whole "all."

00:20:59,290 --> 00:21:00,960

I gotta go. Okay?

00:21:01,130 --> 00:21:03,630

-Okay.

-Thanks.

00:21:04,260 --> 00:21:05,840

Okay.

00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,180

No, I swear to God, Dad!

00:21:13,350 --> 00:21:15,480

That's not how they measure pants!

00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:26,490

I was thinking of doing it shorter,

like Andie MacDowelI's haircut.

00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:28,530

-Oh, yeah. Oh, I could do that.

-Really?

00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:31,240

-Yeah. You wanna do it now?

-Great!

00:21:31,410 --> 00:21:33,120

-Okay.

-Okay.

00:21:33,620 --> 00:21:34,870

See you.

00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:37,580

Okay, I just wanna make

really sure this time.

00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:38,830

Uh-huh. Ahem.

00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:43,340

Andie MacDowell is the girl from

Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?

00:21:44,420 --> 00:21:45,460

No.

00:21:47,550 --> 00:21:51,390

No, no, no, no, no, no.

That's Roddy McDowall.

00:21:52,140 --> 00:21:55,350

Andie MacDowell is the guy

from Planet of the Apes.

00:21:56,310 --> 00:21:58,140

-Oh! Yeah, okay.

-Yeah. Okay?

00:21:58,310 --> 00:22:00,230

-Thank you.

-You're welcome.

00:22:07,650 --> 00:22:09,660

[English - US - SDH]

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