Эпизод, где мистер Хекклс умирает

00:00:07,170 --> 00:00:08,170

So how was Joan?

00:00:08,340 --> 00:00:09,340

Broke up with her.

00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:10,880

GROUP:

Oh, why?

00:00:11,130 --> 00:00:13,880

Don't tell me.

Because of the big nostril thing?

00:00:15,010 --> 00:00:16,800

They were huge.

00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,060

When she sneezed,

bats flew out of them.

00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:22,850

Come on, they were not that huge.

00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:26,350

I'm telling you, she leaned back,

I could see her brain.

00:00:28,310 --> 00:00:30,070

How many women will you reject...

00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,570

...over the most superficial,

insignificant things?

00:00:32,820 --> 00:00:35,490

Hold it. Hold it. I gotta side

with Chandler on this one.

00:00:35,740 --> 00:00:38,320

When I first moved to the city,

I went out with this girl.

00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,950

Really hot. Great kisser...

00:00:41,290 --> 00:00:44,330

...but she had the biggest

Adam's apple.

00:00:45,460 --> 00:00:46,580

Drove me nuts.

00:00:48,170 --> 00:00:50,790

-You or me?

-I got it.

00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,590

Joey, women don't have Adam's apples.

00:01:00,510 --> 00:01:03,520

Heh, heh.

You guys are messing with me, right?

00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:07,270

GROUP:

Yeah. We are.

00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:12,070

That's a good one.

For a second there, I was like, whoa!

00:01:59,990 --> 00:02:05,240

So you name one woman that you broke up

with for an actual real reason.

00:02:06,330 --> 00:02:07,410

Maureen Rasillo.

00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:10,330

Because she doesn't hate Yanni

is not a real reason.

00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:12,540

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,380

Hello, Mr. Heckles.

00:02:18,510 --> 00:02:19,590

You're doing it again.

00:02:20,180 --> 00:02:21,300

We're not doing anything.

00:02:21,550 --> 00:02:24,430

You're stomping.

It's disturbing my birds.

00:02:26,310 --> 00:02:28,850

You don't have birds.

00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,310

I could have birds.

00:02:32,270 --> 00:02:34,190

Okay, we'll try to keep it down.

00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:35,730

Thank you.

00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:38,440

I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.

00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,160

RACHEL:

All right, bye-bye.

00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:43,700

CHANDLER:

Okay, Janice.

00:02:43,950 --> 00:02:46,830

You gotta give me Janice.

That wasn't about being picky.

00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:48,200

ROSS:

We'll give you Janice.

00:02:48,450 --> 00:02:50,330

I miss Janice, though.

00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:52,670

[MlMlCS JANlCE]

Hello, Chandler Bing!

00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:54,670

[MONlCA LAUGHS]

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[MlMlCS JANlCE]

Oh, my God!

00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,420

JOEY [MIMlCS JANlCE]:

Oh, Chandler!

00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,720

Now! Now!

00:03:05,140 --> 00:03:06,180

That's it.

00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:08,720

There! Faster!

00:03:08,890 --> 00:03:09,930

[LAUGHS]

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[THUMPING FROM BELOW]

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Ugh. Stop with the broom!

We're not making noise!

00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:26,660

[THUMPING FROM BELOW]

00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:31,580

RACHEL:

We won.

00:03:31,790 --> 00:03:33,870

-We won! Whoo!

-Whoo!

00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,040

[ALL GROAN]

00:03:36,630 --> 00:03:38,090

Mr. Heckles.

00:03:42,380 --> 00:03:44,800

-How did this happen?

-He was sweeping.

00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,260

They found a broom in his hand.

00:03:48,390 --> 00:03:50,390

GROUP: Oh.

RACHEL: Oh, dear God.

00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,060

-That's terrible.

-I know.

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I was sweeping yesterday.

00:03:54,730 --> 00:03:57,230

-It could've been me.

RACHEL: Yeah.

00:03:58,110 --> 00:04:00,190

JOEY: Sure.

-Sweeping. You never know.

00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:01,570

Never know.

00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:09,990

Okay, it's very faint, but I can

still sense him in the building.

00:04:10,790 --> 00:04:13,540

Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!

00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,340

CHANDLER:

Okay, Phoebe.

00:04:19,130 --> 00:04:21,300

I'm sorry,

but sometimes they need help.

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JOEY: Yeah.

-Here we go.

00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,300

That's fine, go ahead and scoff.

00:04:27,550 --> 00:04:30,010

There are a lot of things

I don't believe in...

00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,350

...but that doesn't mean

they're not true.

00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:33,770

Such as?

00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:38,650

Like crop circles or

the Bermuda Triangle or evolution.

00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:40,610

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:42,400

[CHUCKLES]

00:04:42,570 --> 00:04:44,820

What, you don't believe in evolution?

00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:46,280

No. Not really.

00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:50,450

You don't believe in evolution?

00:04:50,950 --> 00:04:53,080

I don't know.

It's just, you know....

00:04:53,330 --> 00:04:58,080

Monkeys, Darwin, it's a nice story.

I just think it's a little too easy.

00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:04,300

"Too easy"? Too--

00:05:04,510 --> 00:05:07,930

The process of every living thing

on this planet evolving...

00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:12,430

...over millions of years from

single-celled organisms is "too easy"?

00:05:13,270 --> 00:05:15,270

Yeah, I just don't buy it.

00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:20,400

Excuse me. Evolution is not

for you to buy, Phoebe.

00:05:20,650 --> 00:05:24,440

Evolution is scientific fact,

like the air we breathe...

00:05:24,690 --> 00:05:26,240

...like gravity.

00:05:26,450 --> 00:05:28,740

Okay, don't get me started on gravity.

00:05:32,830 --> 00:05:35,750

You, uh-- You don't believe in gravity?

00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:41,170

Well, it's not so much that,

you know, I don't believe in it.

00:05:41,420 --> 00:05:43,300

Lately I get the feeling that...

00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:46,720

...I'm not so much being pulled down

as I am being pushed.

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Pushed.

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[KNOCK ON DOOR]

00:05:50,390 --> 00:05:52,720

Uh-oh. It's Isaac Newton

and he's pissed.

00:05:55,930 --> 00:05:59,100

There she is. And over there,

that's the other one.

00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:01,610

This is Mr. Buddy Boyle,

Heckles' attorney.

00:06:01,810 --> 00:06:02,860

He'd like to talk to you.

00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:04,480

What can we do for you?

00:06:04,730 --> 00:06:06,780

All right, kids, here's the deal.

00:06:07,030 --> 00:06:09,070

According my client's will...

00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:13,780

...he wants to leave

all his earthly possessions...

00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,830

...to "the noisy girls

in the apartment above mine."

00:06:19,290 --> 00:06:20,500

What about his family?

00:06:20,750 --> 00:06:23,170

-He didn't have any.

JOEY: Whoa.

00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:26,380

Okay, so let's talk money.

00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:29,550

All right, there was none.

00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,430

Now, let's talk signing.

00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,850

You be noisy girl number one.

You be noisy girl number two.

00:06:36,470 --> 00:06:39,560

I can't believe that this whole time

we thought he hated us.

00:06:39,810 --> 00:06:43,310

Isn't it amazing how much

you can touch someone's life...

00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,520

...without even knowing it?

00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,230

Would you look at this dump?

00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,780

He hated us!

This was his final revenge!

00:06:50,030 --> 00:06:52,280

Ever seen so much crap!

00:06:52,530 --> 00:06:56,120

Actually, I think this apartment

sullies the good name of crap.

00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:58,700

Check this out.

00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:02,250

Can I have this?

00:07:03,670 --> 00:07:06,420

How can you not believe in evolution?

00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:10,380

I don't know, just don't.

Look at this funky shirt!

00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:14,050

Pheebs, I've studied evolution

my entire adult life.

00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:17,640

And I can tell you, we've collected fossils

from all over the world...

00:07:17,930 --> 00:07:21,350

...that actually show the evolution

of different species.

00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,350

I mean, you can literally see them...

00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:28,110

...evolving through time.

00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,280

Really? You can actually see it?

00:07:31,530 --> 00:07:36,120

You bet! ln the U.S.,

China, Africa, all over!

00:07:36,870 --> 00:07:38,740

See, I didn't know that.

00:07:39,330 --> 00:07:41,460

Well, there you go.

00:07:41,620 --> 00:07:43,080

PHOEBE:

Huh.

00:07:43,250 --> 00:07:48,170

So now the real question is,

who put those fossils there and why?

00:07:51,010 --> 00:07:55,640

Hey. Look at this.

My Big Book of Grievances.

00:07:58,310 --> 00:07:59,810

Hey, there's me.

00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,350

"April 1 7th, excessive noise...

00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:07,020

...Italian guy comes home with a date."

Yeah.

00:08:07,190 --> 00:08:08,610

Chandler, you're in here too.

00:08:09,150 --> 00:08:11,530

"April 1 8th, excessive noise...

00:08:11,780 --> 00:08:15,450

...Italian guy's gay roommate

brings home dry cleaning."

00:08:22,410 --> 00:08:24,210

Well, that's excellent.

00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:26,880

Monica, look at this lamp.

00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:29,460

Is this tacky or what?

We have to have this.

00:08:30,670 --> 00:08:32,880

I think we have enough regular lamps.

00:08:33,130 --> 00:08:35,260

What? Come on, it's not like...

00:08:35,470 --> 00:08:38,180

...I'm asking for this

girlie clock or anything.

00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:41,310

Which, by the way,

I also think is really cool.

00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:44,560

Look, it doesn't go

with any of my stuff.

00:08:45,770 --> 00:08:47,480

Well, what about my stuff?

00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,770

You don't have any stuff.

00:08:51,070 --> 00:08:53,860

You still think of it

as your apartment, don't you?

00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:55,610

Mmm.... No.

00:08:55,860 --> 00:08:56,950

Yes, you do.

00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,490

You think of it as your apartment

and I just rent a room.

00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:03,040

Mmm....

00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:07,460

Okay, while you "mmm" on that,

I'll go find a place for my new lamp.

00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,380

Okay, Pheebs. See how I'm making

these little toys move?

00:09:17,550 --> 00:09:18,590

Opposable thumbs!

00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:25,100

Without evolution, how do you

explain opposable thumbs?

00:09:26,020 --> 00:09:29,940

Maybe the Overlords needed them

to steer their spacecrafts.

00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,360

Tell me you're joking.

00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:36,820

Look, can't we just say that you believe

in something and I don't?

00:09:37,070 --> 00:09:39,780

-No. No, Pheebs, we can't.

-Why not?

00:09:40,030 --> 00:09:43,410

What is this obsessive need you have

to make everybody agree with you?

00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,710

No, what's that all about?

You know what I think?

00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:52,210

I think maybe it's time

you put Ross under the microscope.

00:09:56,550 --> 00:09:58,630

Is there blood coming out of my ears?

00:10:01,220 --> 00:10:03,890

Check it out.

Heckles' high-school yearbook.

00:10:05,390 --> 00:10:06,730

Wow. He looks so normal.

00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:08,980

He's even kind of cute.

00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:11,480

"Heckles, you crack me up

in science class.

00:10:11,730 --> 00:10:13,730

You're the funniest kid in school."

00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:16,280

-Funniest? Heckles?

-That's what it says.

00:10:17,530 --> 00:10:20,780

Wow. Heckles was voted class clown,

and so was l.

00:10:21,030 --> 00:10:22,450

[THUMPING FROM ABOVE]

00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:24,950

He was right.

Would you listen to that?

00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,450

I'd call that excessive.

00:10:27,620 --> 00:10:29,250

-Whoa.

-What?

00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:32,420

Heckles played clarinet in band,

and I played clarinet.

00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:36,210

And he was in the scale

modeler's club and I was--

00:10:36,420 --> 00:10:39,550

Well, there was no club,

but I sure thought they were cool.

00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:42,260

So? You were both dorks.

00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:43,720

Big deal.

00:10:44,220 --> 00:10:46,310

I just think it's weird, you know?

Heckles and me--

00:10:46,470 --> 00:10:47,890

[THUMPING FROM ABOVE]

00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:49,480

Heckles and me. Me--

00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,020

Me and Heckles.

00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,730

Hey, would you knock it off!

00:10:57,940 --> 00:10:59,110

Ah!

00:11:12,210 --> 00:11:13,420

Have you been here all night?

00:11:14,170 --> 00:11:15,460

Look at this.

00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,000

Pictures of all the women

Heckles went out with.

00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:21,930

Look what he wrote on them.

"Vivian, too tall."

00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:23,800

"Madge, big gums."

00:11:25,010 --> 00:11:26,050

"Too loud."

00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,390

"Too smart."

"Makes noise when she eats."

00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,270

This is me.

00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,350

This is what I do.

00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,480

I'm gonna end up alone,

just like he did.

00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,360

Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.

00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:40,530

Our trains are on the same track.

00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:44,280

I'm coming up 30 years behind him,

but the stops are all the same.

00:11:44,530 --> 00:11:46,120

Bitter Town...

00:11:46,530 --> 00:11:49,080

...Alone-ville, Hermit Junction!

00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,040

You know what we gotta do?

Get you out of here.

00:11:53,290 --> 00:11:54,960

Come on, I'll buy you breakfast.

00:11:55,210 --> 00:11:58,040

What if I never find somebody?

Or worse, what if I found her...

00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:02,170

...but I dumped her because

she pronounces it "supposably"?

00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:05,840

Chandler, come on,

you're gonna find somebody.

00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,050

How do you know that? How?

00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:10,930

I don't know. I'm just

trying to help you out.

00:12:12,020 --> 00:12:13,890

You guys will all get married...

00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,520

...and I'll end up alone.

00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,020

Will you promise me something?

00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:21,570

When you're married, will you

invite me over for holidays?

00:12:22,070 --> 00:12:23,700

I don't know what we'll be doing.

00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:29,910

I mean, what if we're over

at her folks' place?

00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,290

Yeah, I understand.

00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:39,920

You can come over

and watch the Super Bowl.

00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:42,050

Every year, all right?

00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:46,590

You know what?

I'm not gonna end up like this.

00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:48,680

I'll see you, man.

00:12:53,060 --> 00:12:54,230

Jeez.

00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,730

"Supposably."

00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,900

Supposably.

00:13:06,490 --> 00:13:08,780

Did they go to the zoo?

00:13:08,990 --> 00:13:11,200

Supposably.

00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,210

[LINE RINGlNG]

00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,090

Hi. It's me.

00:13:26,550 --> 00:13:30,600

Oh, my God!

00:13:31,930 --> 00:13:34,140

Janice? You called Janice?

00:13:35,850 --> 00:13:36,980

Yes. Janice.

00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:39,150

Why is that difficult to comprehend?

00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,610

You remember Janice, right?

00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:47,320

Yes. She was smart, she was pretty

and she honestly cared about me.

00:13:47,570 --> 00:13:50,240

Janice is my last chance

to have somebody.

00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:53,240

Hello.

00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:59,370

Oh, my God!

00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:03,170

Jeez, look how fat she got.

00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:08,880

-Hey, it's everybody.

GROUP: Hi, Janice.

00:14:09,130 --> 00:14:10,300

Janice, you're....

00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,550

Yes, I am.

00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,180

-Is it--?

-Is it yours? Ha!

00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:17,430

You wish, Chandler Bing.

00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:22,110

You are looking at a married lady now.

00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:23,480

GROUP:

Oh.

00:14:23,650 --> 00:14:25,110

PHOEBE:

Yeah.

00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:28,570

Congratulations.

00:14:28,820 --> 00:14:31,110

Aw, sweetie, I'm sorry.

00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,240

You couldn't tell me on the phone?

00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:36,450

And what? Miss the expression

on your face? Oh, no.

00:14:36,660 --> 00:14:39,410

Janice likes to have her fun.

00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:41,420

[LAUGHlNG]

00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,850

You know what we haven't

played in a while?

00:14:54,050 --> 00:14:56,510

-What?

-Hide the lamp.

00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,230

Monica, let it go.

00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,400

Did you know

I'm allergic to shellfish?

00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:06,730

Then you'll just have

to eat the other lamps.

00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:12,490

Uh-oh. It's scary scientist man.

00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,870

Okay, Phoebe, this is it.

00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:20,830

In this briefcase I carry

actual scientific facts.

00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,790

A briefcase of facts, if you will.

00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:31,010

Some of these fossils are

over 200 million years old.

00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:34,470

Okay, look, before you even start,

I'm not denying evolution.

00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,760

It's just one of the possibilities.

00:15:37,010 --> 00:15:38,970

It's the only possibility.

00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:44,100

Ross, could you just open

your mind, like, this much? Okay?

00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:48,570

Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds

in the world believe the Earth was flat?

00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:54,070

And up till 50 years ago, you all thought

the atom was the smallest thing...

00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:58,030

...until you split it open

and this whole mess of crap came out.

00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:04,540

Now, are you telling me that you are

so unbelievably arrogant...

00:16:04,790 --> 00:16:08,590

...that you can't admit that

there's a teeny, tiny possibility...

00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,840

...that you could be wrong about this?

00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,510

There might be...

00:16:20,850 --> 00:16:22,640

...a teeny...

00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:25,190

...tiny...

00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:28,480

...possibility.

00:16:30,230 --> 00:16:32,440

I can't believe you caved.

00:16:34,070 --> 00:16:35,110

What?

00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,700

You just abandoned

your whole belief system!

00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,330

Before, I didn't agree with you,

but at least I respected you.

00:16:43,790 --> 00:16:45,040

But....

00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:47,710

How are you gonna go

into work tomorrow?

00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,670

How are you going to face

the other science guys?

00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,720

How are you going to face yourself?

Oh....

00:17:10,270 --> 00:17:12,320

That was fun.

So who's hungry?

00:17:12,570 --> 00:17:13,650

MONICA:

I am.

00:17:13,820 --> 00:17:15,820

RACHEL: Me too.

Let me just get my coat.

00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:20,070

[LAMP SHATTERS]

00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,580

What happened?

00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:28,670

Okay.

All right, it was an accident, I swear.

00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:32,840

I was putting on my jacket and

the thing and the lamp and it broke.

00:17:33,090 --> 00:17:36,470

Oh, please, Monica!

You've always hated my lamp!

00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:40,930

And now all of a sudden,

it's just magically, it's just broken?

00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:42,390

Phoebe, tell her?

00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,930

I didn't see it, because

I was putting on my jacket.

00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:47,480

But I want to believe you.

00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:55,860

Hey, Chandler. Monica just

broke my seashell lamp.

00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:57,530

Neat.

00:17:57,780 --> 00:17:59,610

I'm gonna die alone!

00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:04,160

Okay, you win.

00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,330

Chandler, you are not

gonna die alone.

00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,830

Janice was my safety net, okay?

00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,710

And now I have to get a snake.

00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:14,880

Uh-huh. Why is that?

00:18:15,130 --> 00:18:18,510

If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man,

I'm gonna need a thing.

00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,340

You know, a hook.

00:18:20,590 --> 00:18:23,600

Like that guy on the subway

who eats his own face.

00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:26,350

So I figure I'll be

"Crazy Man With A Snake."

00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:27,850

Crazy Snake Man.

00:18:28,100 --> 00:18:30,100

Then I'll get more snakes,

call them my babies.

00:18:30,350 --> 00:18:32,480

Kids won't walk past my place,

they will run!

00:18:32,730 --> 00:18:35,900

"Run away from Crazy Snake Man,"

they'll shout!

00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:41,950

You've got to get over this. Okay?

00:18:42,370 --> 00:18:43,780

You won't end up alone.

00:18:44,030 --> 00:18:45,580

Of course I am.

00:18:45,830 --> 00:18:49,540

I reject anyone who's crazy enough

to actually go out with me...

00:18:49,790 --> 00:18:53,420

...and then I bitch that there

aren't any great women out there.

00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,420

Chandler, you have just described...

00:18:57,630 --> 00:19:01,260

...virtually every man

that we've ever gone out with.

00:19:01,470 --> 00:19:02,930

Yeah.

00:19:03,180 --> 00:19:05,390

You are not a freak.

You're a guy.

00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,220

RACHEL:

She's right.

00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,140

You're no different than the rest.

00:19:10,390 --> 00:19:12,600

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Yes, he is.

00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:14,610

You are totally different.

00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:15,860

In a bad way?

00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:17,860

No, honey, in a wonderful way.

00:19:18,110 --> 00:19:19,820

You know what you want now.

00:19:20,070 --> 00:19:21,610

Most guys don't even have a clue.

00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:25,660

You're ready to take risks, be

vulnerable and intimate with someone.

00:19:25,910 --> 00:19:27,450

You're not gonna end up alone.

00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:33,830

You called Janice. That's how much

you wanted to be with someone!

00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:37,460

-You've made it.

-You're there.

00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:40,130

You are ready to make a commitment!

00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:42,630

Whoa! Don't know about that.

00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:51,060

Wow. What you got there?

00:19:51,310 --> 00:19:54,480

Something else that's not yours

that you can break?

00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:56,980

No.

00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:00,360

I know you like this

and I want you to have it.

00:20:00,570 --> 00:20:02,570

It'll look good in our apartment.

00:20:03,780 --> 00:20:05,570

Thank you.

00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:08,950

[CLOCK WHISTLES]

00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,330

That's fine.

00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:15,580

-Hey.

GROUP: Hey.

00:20:15,790 --> 00:20:19,590

You'll all be pleased to know

that I have a date tomorrow night.

00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,960

This woman Allison from work.

She is great.

00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:25,380

She's pretty, she's smart.

And I've been...

00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,930

...holding off asking her out

in the past, because she has a...

00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,520

...unusually large head.

00:20:33,060 --> 00:20:35,390

But I'm not going to let

that stuff hang me up anymore.

00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:36,650

All right.

00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:38,230

Look at me. I'm growing.

00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:42,690

Hey, you can't recycle yearbooks,

can you?

00:20:43,530 --> 00:20:44,700

I'll take that.

00:20:44,950 --> 00:20:46,070

You want his yearbook?

00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:50,660

Yeah. Yeah. Some people said nice things

about him. Somebody should have it.

00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:53,330

Gosh, this is so weird.

00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:56,870

His whole life was in

this apartment and now it's gone.

00:20:58,170 --> 00:21:02,510

I think it would be nice if we just

took a few moments for Mr. Heckles.

00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:07,470

I mean, he was kind of a pain.

He was, but he was a person.

00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,140

[ALL LAUGHING]

00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:11,100

MONICA:

What?

00:21:14,270 --> 00:21:15,940

You're all going to hell.

00:21:16,190 --> 00:21:18,350

RACHEL:

It's really not that big.

00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:23,780

-Taking that with you, huh?

-Oh, yeah.

00:21:29,870 --> 00:21:31,580

Hey, you coming?

00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:33,290

Yeah, in a second.

00:21:49,510 --> 00:21:51,510

Goodbye, Mr. Heckles.

00:21:54,810 --> 00:21:56,930

We'll try to keep it down.

00:22:07,950 --> 00:22:09,490

ALLlSON:

My major was useless.

00:22:09,740 --> 00:22:13,830

How often do you look in the classifieds

and see "Philosopher Wanted"?

00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:15,490

Heh, heh. Sure.

00:22:15,700 --> 00:22:18,000

CHANDLER:

My God, that's a big head!

00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,710

It didn't look this big in the office.

Maybe it's the lighting.

00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:27,170

My head must look

like a golf ball at work.

00:22:28,220 --> 00:22:32,010

Don't get hung up on it. Quick, quick.

List five things you like about her.

00:22:32,260 --> 00:22:34,220

Nice smile, good dresser.

00:22:34,430 --> 00:22:36,970

Big head, big head, big head!

00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,400

[English - US - SDH]