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Компания удивлена, что Фиби тайно вышла замуж за канадского фигуриста-гея Дункана (Стив Зан). Она вышла за него замуж, чтобы он получил грин-карту. Фиби рада, когда он хочет ее увидеть, но потом расстраивается, что он хочет развода. Дункан говорит, что понял, что он не гей, и хочет жениться на другой. Раскрываются интересные факты о других: Джои снялся в порнофильме, а у Чендлера появился третий сосок. Росс обращается к Рейчел за советом по поводу отношений после того, как признается, что они с Джули еще не спали. Рейчел, желая разлучить их, советует воздержаться, в то время как Джои дает Россу противоположный совет.

Эпизод с мужем Фиби

The One with Phoebe's Husband
Сезон: 02Серия: 04

Описание

Компания удивлена, что Фиби тайно вышла замуж за канадского фигуриста-гея Дункана (Стив Зан). Она вышла за него замуж, чтобы он получил грин-карту. Фиби рада, когда он хочет ее увидеть, но потом расстраивается, что он хочет развода. Дункан говорит, что понял, что он не гей, и хочет жениться на другой. Раскрываются интересные факты о других: Джои снялся в порнофильме, а у Чендлера появился третий сосок. Росс обращается к Рейчел за советом по поводу отношений после того, как признается, что они с Джули еще не спали. Рейчел, желая разлучить их, советует воздержаться, в то время как Джои дает Россу противоположный совет.

Субтитры

eng__.srt

eng__.srt

00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:09,174

That was 1 0 blocks from here,

and the woman was walking alone at night.

00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:11,010

I would never do that.

00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,846

Mom, come on, stop worrying.

00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:17,391

This is a safe street.

This is a safe building. There's nothing--

00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,602

Aah! Oh, my God!

What are you doing in here?

00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,604

Mom, I gotta go. I gotta go.

00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:26,942

Oh, my God.

00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:28,944

Okay.

00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:31,196

That's fine, you just read the paper.

00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:33,824

I'm gonna get a pot.

00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:36,118

It's not for you.

00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,834

Okay, that's fine.

00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:47,796

Read the Family Circus...

00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:51,341

...enjoy the gentle comedy....

00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:54,928

[SHRlEKING]

00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:58,015

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:04,396

Ugh. Oh, God. Oh, God.

00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:07,816

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,693

It's open, you guys.

00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:13,197

-Hi.

-Hi. Can I help you?

00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:15,616

I'm looking for Phoebe,

does she still live here?

00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:18,160

Uh, no, she doesn't.

But I can get a message to her.

00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:21,205

Great. Uh, just tell her

her husband stopped by.

00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:22,956

Her what? Aah!

00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:26,835

Hey, how did you do that?

00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:19,972

This is unbelievable, Pheebs.

How can you be married?

00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:22,057

I'm not "married" married,

you know?

00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,934

He was just a friend, and he's gay...

00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,812

...and he was from Canada,

and he needed a Green Card.

00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:29,064

I can't believe you married Duncan.

00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:30,691

I mean, how could you not tell me?

00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,985

We lived together,

we told each other everything.

00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:36,822

I'm sorry, Monica, but I knew if I told you,

you'd get really, like, judgmental...

00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,031

...and would not approve.

00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,200

Of course I wouldn't approve.

00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:43,537

You were totally in love

with this guy who, hello, was gay.

00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:45,539

I mean, what the hell were you thinking?

00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:47,708

See? And you thought

she'd be judgmental.

00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:53,088

Okay, I wasn't in love with him.

I was just helping out a friend.

00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:56,675

Please. When he left town,

you stayed in your pajamas for a month.

00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,844

And I saw you eat a cheeseburger.

00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:00,387

[ALL GASP]

00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:03,599

Well, didn't you?

00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:06,226

I might have.

00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,438

I can't believe you didn't tell me.

00:03:09,647 --> 00:03:11,106

Come on.

Like you tell me everything?

00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,066

What have I not told you?

00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:15,194

Ooh, I don't know. Um...

00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:19,364

...how about the fact that the underwear

out there on the telephone pole is yours...

00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:22,117

...from when you were having sex

with Fun Bobby on the terrace.

00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:25,621

RACHEL: What?

-Wait a minute. Who told you?

00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:31,919

You are dead meat.

00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:34,796

I didn't know it was a big secret.

00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:37,132

Oh, it's not big. Not at all.

00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:40,802

You know, kind of on the same lines as,

say, I don't know, having a third nipple.

00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,512

[ALL GASP]

00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:45,849

You have a third nipple?

00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,770

You bitch.

00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,608

-Whip it out. Whip it out.

PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah.

00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:59,071

No, come on. There's nothing to see.

It's just a tiny bump. It's totally useless.

00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,531

Oh, as opposed to your other

multifunctional nipples?

00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:07,162

I can't believe you.

You told me it was a nubbin.

00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,041

Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?

00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:15,879

I don't know. You see something, you

hear a word, I thought that's what it was.

00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:19,800

-Let me see it again.

ROSS: Yeah, show us your nubbin.

00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,176

Joey was in a porno movie.

00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:22,928

[ALL GASP]

00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,975

If I'm going down,

I'm taking everybody with me.

00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,228

RACHEL: Oh, my God.

ROSS: You were in a porno?

00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:34,690

All right, all right.

I was young and I just wanted a job, okay?

00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:36,984

But at the last minute

I couldn't go through with it.

00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:40,320

So they let me be the guy who comes in

to fix the copier but can't...

00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,198

...because there's people

having sex on it.

00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,700

ALL:

Wow.

00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:46,076

That is wild.

00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,579

-So, what's it shaped like?

-Is there a hair on it?

00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:51,748

What happens if you flick it?

00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:02,801

So, uh, does it do anything,

you know, special?

00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,388

Why, yes, Ross, pressing my third nipple

opens the delivery entrance...

00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,849

...to the magical land of Narnia.

00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:14,521

You know, in some cultures, having

a third nipple is actually a sign of virility.

00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,524

You get the best huts,

and women dance naked around you.

00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:22,195

Huh. Are, uh, any of these cultures,

per chance, in the Tri-State area?

00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:27,409

You know, you are so amazing.

Is there anything you don't know?

00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:32,831

[MOCKlNGLY]

Ooh, Julie's so smart. Julie's so special.

00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,835

Look, honey, I wanted you to hook up

with Ross as much as you did.

00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:40,464

But he's with her now.

You're just gonna have to get over it.

00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:43,467

Oh, I'm going to have to get over it.

00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:47,262

God, see, I didn't know that's what

I had to do. I just have to get over it.

00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:52,017

ALL:

Whoa.

00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:54,394

ROSS: Sassy lady.

JULIE: Where are you going?

00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:57,981

Um, I'm gonna go meet Duncan.

He's skating tonight at the Garden.

00:05:58,232 --> 00:06:00,150

He's in the Capades.

00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:04,404

-The lce Capades?

-No, no, the Gravel Capades.

00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:09,117

Yeah, the turns aren't as fast,

but when Snoopy falls? Funny.

00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,496

I can't believe you're dressing up for him.

00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:15,123

You're setting yourself up

all over again.

00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,500

Okay, no.

00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:22,589

For your information, I'm going to see him

so I can put all those feelings behind me.

00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:26,676

And the reason I'm dressed like this

is because I think it's nice...

00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:29,346

...to look nice for your gay husband.

00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,475

Darn it, we're all out of milk.

00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:35,811

Hey, Chandler, will you fill me up here?

00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:45,737

Oh, I see, I see.

Because of the third-nipple thing.

00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,948

[LAUGHS THEN GRUMBLES]

00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,248

-Okay, sweetie, I'll see you later.

-Bye.

00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,627

-See you later, Rach.

-Bye-bye, Julie.

00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:09,511

-Hey.

-Hey.

00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,140

Hey, come on, cut it out.

00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,059

ROSS: Hey.

RACHEL: What?

00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:19,688

-Can I ask you something?

-Sure.

00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,732

ROSS: Eh.

RACHEL: What?

00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:26,695

-Come on, talk to me.

-Okay.

00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:31,908

What's the longest you've been

in a relationship before...

00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:36,204

...having the sex?

00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:40,000

Why? Who's not--?

Are you and Julie not--?

00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,210

Are you and Julie not having sex?

00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,463

Well....

00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,298

Technically?

00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:49,551

-No.

-Wow.

00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:52,137

Is it because she's so cold in bed?

00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:58,393

Or is it because she's kind of bossy,

makes it feel like school?

00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:03,356

No. No. She's great. And it's not

like we haven't done anything.

00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:08,028

I mean, we do plenty of other stuff.

Lots of other stuff like--

00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:10,864

No, no, no.

Don't need to know the details.

00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:12,616

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:14,201

No, it's just....

00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,161

It's me.

00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:19,456

You know, I've only been

with one woman my whole life...

00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,875

...and she turned out to be a lesbian.

00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,084

Uh-huh.

00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:26,755

So now I've got myself all psyched out.

00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,466

It's become, like, this...

00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:32,677

...this thing, and l....

00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,057

You must just think I'm weird.

00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:40,101

No. No, no, no. I don't think it's weird.

00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,854

I think-- I think, um, in fact--

00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:45,524

-In fact, you know what I think?

-What?

00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,984

I think it's sexy.

00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:50,487

Sexy?

00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:52,864

Let me tell you something.

As a woman...

00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:56,159

...there is nothing sexier...

00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:59,079

...than a man who does not

want to have sex.

00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,708

-No kidding.

-Oh, yeah. In fact, you know what I'd do?

00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:05,335

I'd wait.

00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:10,131

-You'd wait?

-Yes, absolutely. I would wait...

00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,425

...and wait....

00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,136

Then I'd wait some more.

00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:18,640

-Really?

-Oh, yeah.

00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:21,810

I don't care how much she tells you

she wants it, I don't care if she begs...

00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:26,815

...she pleads, she tells you

she's gonna have sex with another man.

00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:28,692

That just means it's working.

00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:34,322

Women really want this?

00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:36,324

More than jewelry.

00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:53,925

Hi.

00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:56,219

-Phoebe.

-Ta-da.

00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:58,763

Hi.

00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,308

Ah, look at you. You look great.

00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,810

Do l? Thank you.

00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:06,855

-So do you. Sparkly.

-Thanks.

00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:10,150

So....

00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:15,572

Wow. This is pretty wonderful, huh,

Mr. Major Capades Guy.

00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:21,494

I remember when you were just like

King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice /s Nice.

00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,789

You always said I'd make it.

00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:28,376

Yeah, well, you know,

I'm kind of spooky that way. Woo.

00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,212

God, I missed you.

00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,801

-I'm gonna get changed.

-Okay.

00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,764

Um, now.

00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,391

PHOEBE: What?

DUNCAN: Pheebs.

00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,685

Oh. Right. Okay.

00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:48,980

-Ole.

-What?

00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:51,983

The Matador, so....

00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,818

[CHUCKLES]

00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:58,281

Ole. Ha, ha.

00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,329

-Sweetie, can you hold this for a second?

-Sure.

00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,955

Thanks.

00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:07,499

[JULlE CHUCKLES]

00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:15,048

-Uh, Julie?

-Yeah.

00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:18,176

Sorry, you had a paleontologist

on your face.

00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,137

But, uh, it's gone now. You're all right.

00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,972

-Hi, everyone.

MONICA: Hi.

00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,225

Oh, listen, listen....

00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:29,270

I wanted to thank you

for, uh, our little talk before.

00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,941

Oh, God, no problem.

So you're gonna go with the waiting thing?

00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:36,611

Well, I was going to,

but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.

00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,284

Good. Ahem. What did he say?

00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:46,204

Basically, he told me to get over myself

and just do it.

00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:49,916

So I thought about what you said

and about what he said.

00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,627

And, well, his way,

I get to have sex tonight, so....

00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,421

[RACHEL CHUCKLES]

00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,678

What is this in my pocket?

00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:04,556

Why, it's Joey's porno movie.

00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:08,309

Pop it in.

00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,604

I'm fine with it, I mean,

if you're okay watching a video...

00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:14,065

...filled with two-nippled people.

00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:20,280

Great. People having sex.

That's just what I need to see.

00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,741

What's wrong with people having sex?

00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:24,743

Well....

00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:30,123

Well, um, you know,

these movies are offensive...

00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:34,794

...and, uh, degrading

to women and females....

00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:39,090

And, uh, the lighting's

always unflattering.

00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,510

And....

00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:46,014

-Monica, help me out here.

-Hell, I wanna see Joey.

00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,893

[PORN MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]

00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:55,607

So is there, like, a story,

or do they just start doing it right--

00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,025

[WOMAN MOANS ON TV]

00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,068

Oh. Never mind.

00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:02,989

Okay, now, wait a minute. That is the

craziest typing test I've ever seen.

00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,076

All I say is, she better get the job.

00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:09,496

Looks to me like he's the one

getting the job.

00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,958

Shh. Hey, here I come. Here I come.

00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,960

See, I'm coming to fix the copier.

00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:19,964

I can't get to the copier. I'm thinking,

"What do I do? What do I do?"

00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:24,093

So I just watch them have sex.

00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:29,057

And then I say-- Here's my line.

00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:31,851

JOEY [ON TV]:

You know, that's bad for the paper tray.

00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:35,855

-Nice work, my friend.

-Thank you.

00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:39,943

Wait, you see me again.

Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me.

00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,989

There I am. There I am. There I am.

00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:55,250

So, um-- So, what's up?

You came to see me yesterday.

00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,293

Oh, yeah, um....

00:13:58,671 --> 00:13:59,838

All right.

00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:03,383

I kind of need a divorce.

00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,678

Okay.

00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:08,179

How come?

00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:12,183

Um, actually, I'm getting married again.

00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:13,601

What?

00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,812

Oh, God,

I don't know how to tell you this.

00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,357

I'm straight.

00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:20,817

[GASPS]

00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,652

Yeah, I know.

00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,156

I don't understand. I don't understand.

How can you be straight?

00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,826

I mean, you're so smart and funny...

00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:32,912

...and you throw

such great Academy Award parties.

00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,498

I know. That's what I kept telling myself.

00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,543

But you just reach a point

where you can't live a lie anymore.

00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,755

So how long have you known?

00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:47,886

I guess on some level

I always knew I was straight.

00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,930

I thought I was supposed

to be something else.

00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:55,894

You know, I'm an ice dancer, all my

friends are gay. I was just trying to fit in.

00:14:57,688 --> 00:15:01,858

And, um-- And there's actually a woman?

00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:05,486

-Her name's Debra.

-Oh.

00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:10,450

Well, is she the first

that you've been with?

00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:13,870

Well, I've never told you this...

00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:19,584

...but there were one or two times

back in college...

00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,920

...when I'd get really drunk

and go to a straight bar...

00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:24,380

...and wake up with a woman next to me.

00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:29,761

But I told myself it was the liquor,

and everyone experiments in college.

00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:32,347

Sure.

00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:35,767

But now I know I don't have a choice

about this. I was born this way.

00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,230

I don't know what to say.

00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:44,400

I mean, you know,

you're married to someone for six years...

00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:46,069

...and you think you know him.

00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:49,280

And then one day he says,

"Oh, I'm not gay."

00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,871

I'm-- I'm still me.

00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:02,418

Why couldn't you just have

figured this out six years ago?

00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:07,632

You know,

it still smells like monkey in there.

00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,220

Well, that saves us the conversation.

00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,808

Well, this has been great,

but I'm officially wiped.

00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:19,268

-Me too. We should get going.

RACHEL: No.

00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:22,105

No. I mean-- No. Come on, you guys.

00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:25,775

Come on, look, it's only 1 1 :30.

00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:30,154

Let's just talk. We never just

hang out and talk anymore.

00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:32,865

Rachel, that's all we do.

00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:37,245

Maybe that's all we do.

What about Julie?

00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,164

What about Julie?

00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:44,377

Well, you have been in our lives

for nearly two months now...

00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,879

...and we don't really know you.

00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,673

I mean, who is Julie?

00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:52,301

I mean, what do you like?

What don't you like?

00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,721

We want to know everything.

00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,973

Well, heh, that could take a while.

00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:58,725

So?

00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:03,104

I mean, who here does not have

the time to get to know Julie?

00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,357

-I got the time to get to know Julie.

-I got time, yeah.

00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:10,695

Uh, Rach, ahem, I know her pretty well.

Can I go?

00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:14,866

That's fine.

00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:18,745

Okay, Julie, so let's start with

your childhood. What was that like?

00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,166

-Well, in a nutshell--

- Ah-ah-ah.

00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,337

So, um, have you told your parents?

00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,841

No, but it'll be okay. They're pretty cool.

00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,385

My brother's straight, so....

00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,305

Here you go.

00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:40,058

You know what?

I just have one more question. Um....

00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:45,438

If you had figured this out sooner,

and, um, I had been around...

00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,441

...do you think I would have been

the one who...?

00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,486

No, no. That's all right. Don't tell me.

00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:55,698

I don't think either answer

would make me feel better. Here.

00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:58,868

I love you, Phoebe.

00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,511

So your brother's straight, huh?

00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:19,263

Seriously.

00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:26,104

--and my second-grade teacher

was Miss Thomas...

00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,981

...and my first-grade teacher

was Mrs. Cobb.

00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,317

Ahem. Mrs. Gobb?

00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,402

No, Cobb. Like cobb salad.

00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:35,780

Hmm, okay.

00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:39,450

Now, what exactly is in a cobb salad?

00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:41,119

I'm going home.

00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,626

Boy, that Julie's a talker, huh?

00:18:50,754 --> 00:18:51,963

Good night.

00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,173

RACHEL:

Whew.

00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:58,678

So it's pretty late. You're probably, uh,

not still planning on....

00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:01,347

-Oh. No, no, I am.

-Oh.

00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:04,600

Well, hey, are you nervous?

00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:06,894

No, no. l, uh--

00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:08,938

I have done it before.

00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,231

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,692

Well, okay, I mean,

how are you gonna handle it?

00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:17,029

Are you gonna talk about it beforehand?

Are you just gonna pounce?

00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:20,533

I, uh-- I don't know.

I guess I'm just gonna...

00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:23,452

...see what happens.

00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:26,581

Okay. Good luck.

00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,499

What--? Uh....

00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:32,920

-What?

-Nothing. I mean, um....

00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:38,593

It is your first time with her, and, you know,

if the first time doesn't go well...

00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:42,221

...well then, that's pretty darn

hard to recover from.

00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:46,392

Okay, now I'm nervous.

00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,563

Maybe you should put it off.

00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:53,482

No, I don't want to put it off.

00:19:56,069 --> 00:20:01,199

God, I'm just-- I spent last year

being so unbelievably miserable.

00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:04,327

And now I'm actually happy.

00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,247

You know, I mean, really happy.

00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,625

I just don't wanna....

00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,920

I don't wanna mess it up, you know?

00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,256

I know.

00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,467

Yeah.

00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:21,844

I'm sorry.

00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,138

No, it's not your fault.

00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:25,598

Right.

00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:30,394

Maybe it doesn't have to be this tough.

00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:36,108

Maybe you were on the right track with

that whole, you know, spontaneous thing.

00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:39,362

-I mean, women really like that.

-Really?

00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:42,031

Yeah. I mean, you know, if--

00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:45,534

I mean if it were me, I'd, you know,

want you to--

00:20:45,702 --> 00:20:47,703

-What?

-I don't know, catch me off guard.

00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:49,997

You know, with, like, a really...

00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:52,041

...good kiss.

00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:54,543

You know, really...

00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:58,756

...sort of, um, soft at first.

00:20:59,883 --> 00:21:04,804

And then maybe, um,

brush the hair away from my face.

00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:09,392

And then look far into my eyes...

00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:12,311

...in a way that lets me

know something...

00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:15,815

...amazing is about to happen.

00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:17,900

Uh-huh.

00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:24,365

And then, I don't know, then...

00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:27,493

...you'd pull me

really close to you so that--

00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:31,289

So that I'd be pressed up, you know,

right against you.

00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:35,876

And, um, it would get kind of...

00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:39,213

...sweaty...

00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:42,925

...and, uh-- And blurry.

00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:48,180

And then it's just happening.

00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:50,933

Oh.

00:21:55,355 --> 00:21:57,481

Thanks, Rach. Good night.

00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:01,319

[GROANS]

00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:03,195

Oh, God.

00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:21,172

Good morning.

00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:25,343

Well, somebody got some last night.

00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:31,599

Twice.

00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:45,780

[English - US - SDH]

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