Эпизод с отцом Фиби

00:00:06,047 --> 00:00:09,508

Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree.

00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:13,012

Oh, my God, you should see the size

of his Christmas balls!

00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,474

BOTH: Hey.

RACHEL: Hey.

00:00:17,642 --> 00:00:19,351

How much did you tip the super?

00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:22,896

Yeah, we were gonna give 50,

but we don't wanna look bad.

00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:25,232

Oh, this year

we just made him cookies.

00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:27,609

And 25 it is.

00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,654

Heh. You gave him cookies?

00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,740

-Money is so impersonal.

RACHEL: Yeah.

00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:34,700

Cookies says someone really cares.

00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,746

All right, we're broke,

but cookies do say that.

00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:40,998

I can see that.

00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:43,292

A plate of brownies told me a limerick.

00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:50,049

Pheebs, let me ask you something.

Were these, uh, "funny" brownies?

00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:52,509

Not especially.

00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:55,179

But, you know,

I think they had pot in them.

00:00:57,807 --> 00:01:00,768

So, you guys, who else did you tip

with cookies?

00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:03,187

Uh, the mailman, the super....

00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:04,396

[BANG ON DOOR]

00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:07,191

Oh, and the newspaper delivery guy.

00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:09,526

JOEY:

Oh, my God.

00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,111

RACHEL:

What?

00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:13,072

Uh, I don't think you're gonna like this.

00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:14,323

RACHEL:

Oh, wow.

00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,366

Oh, gosh.

00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:19,828

Oh, these are cookies

smashed in the Sports section.

00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:21,955

And he did my crossword puzzle.

00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:25,918

Yeah, but not very well,

unless 14 across, "Gershwin musical"...

00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:30,255

...actually is "Bite me, bite me, bite me."

00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:23,183

I can't believe it's Christmas already.

You know?

00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:26,145

One day you're eating turkey,

the next thing you know...

00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:29,314

...your lords are a-leaping

and your geese are a-laying. Heh.

00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:34,945

Which is why geese are

so relaxed this time of year.

00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:38,615

-Hey, guys.

MONICA & CHANDLER: Hey.

00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:40,993

Hey, Rach.

00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:44,079

I, uh, got you a little present.

00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:47,958

I'll open it.

00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:50,419

It's a Slinky!

00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,713

Ha, ha. Remember, huh?

00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,090

[SlNGS] Wa/ks downstairs

Alone or in pairs

00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,134

Everyone knows it's--

00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,138

Just a big spring.

00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:03,932

You're still mad because of the whole--

00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,518

Horrible list of reasons not to be with me?

00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:09,354

How about we just call it

"the unfortunate incident"?

00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:11,273

[CHUCKLES]

00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,736

Hey, Gunther.

You got stairs in your place?

00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,197

-Yeah.

-Go nuts.

00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:21,700

-Hey, guys.

MONICA & CHANDLER: Hey.

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[ROSS GRUNTS]

00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:24,119

What's in the bag?

00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:26,496

Mm, just some presents.

00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,707

Come on, show us what you bought.

00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,834

You know you want to.

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Okay.

00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:39,509

This is a picture frame

from Ben to my parents.

00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:41,261

Oh, that's cute.

00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:44,473

Some "Hers" and "Hers" towels

for Susan and Carol.

00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,979

And, uh, I got this blouse for Mom.

00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,232

-Ross, that is gorgeous!

-Yeah?

00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:56,068

MONICA:

Look at these authentic fake medals!

00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,070

Mom's gonna be voted "best dressed"...

00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,364

...at the make-believe military academy!

00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:04,660

-Hey.

-Hey.

00:04:04,827 --> 00:04:07,955

-Happy Christmas Eve Eve.

-You too.

00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:10,207

Oh, my God! Where did you get this?

00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,085

Uh, Macy's, third floor, home furnishings.

00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,586

This is my father!

00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,421

This is a picture of my dad!

00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:17,631

[ROSS CHUCKLES]

00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,552

Uh, Pheebs, that's the guy

that comes in the frame.

00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,972

No, it's my dad. I'll show you.

00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:27,391

I thought your dad was in prison.

00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,184

No, that's my stepdad.

00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:32,729

My real dad's the one that

ran out on us before I was born.

00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,898

How have you never been on Oprah?

00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:38,819

Look, see? This is him.

00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:42,656

My mother gave me this picture

before she died. Same guy!

00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:48,370

Honey, uh, this is a picture

of the frame guy...

00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,248

...posing in front of a blue screen

with a collie.

00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:54,668

It's not a blue screen. lt's just--

00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:57,671

Maybe it was just really clear that day.

00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:03,093

Okay, I have to talk to my grandmother.

00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:06,305

MONICA: Wait a minute, honey!

ROSS & JOEY: Pheebs.

00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,016

CHANDLER: Whoa.

RACHEL: Wow.

00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:10,309

[CLEARS THROAT]

00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:13,061

I'm trying to get my boss's

ex-wife to sleep with me.

00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,272

ALL:

Joey.

00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,692

Oh, but when Phoebe has a problem,

everyone's all ears!

00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,947

FRANCES:

Esther Livingston.

00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:26,992

Gone!

00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:30,704

Um.... Hi, Pooh.

00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,165

Hi, Gram. Ahem, what you doing?

00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,876

Oh, just updating the phone book.

00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:39,338

Um, Gram? Um....

00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,757

Can I see the pictures of my dad again?

00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,759

Oh.

00:05:43,926 --> 00:05:45,010

Oh, sure, sure.

00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:47,637

Uh.... Huh, how come?

00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:50,474

Just, you know, to see him.

00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,642

Oh, sure. Here.

00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:54,061

All right, uh....

00:05:54,228 --> 00:05:57,230

This is the one

of your father in a meadow.

00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,818

And, uh, helping a little boy fly a kite.

00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,447

And here he is at a graduation.

00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:13,705

Another graduation.

00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:16,750

Is this really my father?

00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:18,919

Is it really your--?

00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,545

[LAUGHS]

00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:22,547

Well, of course it is.

00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:26,718

I smell smoke. Maybe because

someone's pants are on fire!

00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:28,845

Well, I....

00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:31,890

In all the years we've been

grandmother and granddaughter...

00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,600

...you've never lied.

00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:34,851

[SlGHS]

00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:39,272

All right, that's not your father.

It's a picture of a guy in a frame.

00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:42,651

Oh, God.

00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:45,654

It was your mother's idea.

00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:48,240

She didn't want you

to know your real father...

00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,367

...because it hurt her so much when he left.

00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,577

I didn't wanna go along with it.

00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:56,123

But then she died

and it was harder to argue with her.

00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,086

Not impossible, but harder.

00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,881

All right.

So he's not a famous tree surgeon?

00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:13,640

And I guess he doesn't live in a hut in Burma

where there's no phones?

00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,519

Last I heard, he was

a pharmacist somewhere upstate.

00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:19,312

That makes no sense.

00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,649

Why would the villagers

worship a pharmacist?

00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,278

Honey.

00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:28,613

-Oh. Yeah.

-Yeah.

00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:32,826

Anyway, that's all I know.

00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:34,661

[SlGHS]

00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:36,455

That...

00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:39,958

...and this.

00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,045

This...

00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:46,923

...is the real him.

00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,218

Oh.

00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:55,056

I remember my father

all dressed up in the red suit...

00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:58,393

...the big black boots

and the patent leather belt...

00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:01,646

...sneaking around downstairs.

He didn't want us to see him...

00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:06,526

...but he'd be drunk, so he'd crash

into something and wake everybody up.

00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:09,863

That doesn't sound like

a very merry Christmas.

00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:12,240

Who said anything about Christmas?

00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:17,871

-Hi.

-Anyone hear from Phoebe yet?

00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,414

No, nothing.

00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:20,999

I hope she's okay.

00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,168

JOEY:

I know exactly what she's going through.

00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,712

How do you know

what she's going through?

00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:27,464

She told us.

00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,594

What do you got there, Monica?

00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,054

Stuff for the party.

00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:37,140

Aren't you guys supposed to be shopping?

00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:38,975

You didn't buy presents yet?

00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,853

Tomorrow's Christmas Eve!

What are you gonna do?

00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,023

Don't you have to be Claymation

to say stuff like that?

00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,861

Oh, by the way, Mon, I don't think

the mailman liked your cookies.

00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,905

Here are the ornaments your mom sent.

00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:56,243

MONICA:

Well....

00:08:56,452 --> 00:09:00,580

Maybe the mailman liked the cookies.

We just didn't give him enough.

00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,792

Monica, pigeons learn faster than you.

00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:06,419

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,093

Hey, Rach. Ahem.

00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:16,221

I think I know what will

make you feel better.

00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:19,224

How about you make a list about me?

00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,601

Forget it. I'm not gonna stand here...

00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:22,978

...and make a list.

00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:25,146

Okay, you're whiny...

00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:28,275

...you are obsessive, you are insecure...

00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,193

-...you're gutless.

-Heh.

00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,445

You don't ever just seize the day.

00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:35,657

You liked me for a year

and you didn't do anything about it.

00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:39,077

And, uh.... Oh, you wear

too much of that gel in your hair.

00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,417

See, there. You, uh....

00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,168

All right, you did what I said.

00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:48,378

[ROSS CHUCKLES]

00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:49,629

-And you know what?

-Hmm?

00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:51,590

You're right. I do feel better.

00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:52,841

Thank you, Ross.

00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:03,435

Yeah, in Albany. Could I have

the number of Frank Buffay?

00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:07,564

Okay. Um, in lthaca?

00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,900

All right, um, Saratoga?

00:10:11,485 --> 00:10:13,403

Oneonta?

00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:17,365

You know what?

You shouldn't call yourself lnformation!

00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:23,496

Hey.

00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:27,542

Hello, Grandma.

If that is, in fact, your real name.

00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:31,921

Come on now, Pooh.

Don't still be mad at me.

00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,383

-How's it going?

-Oh, not so good.

00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:39,929

Upstate's pretty big.

He's pretty small. You do the math.

00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:43,600

Well, I think you're better off without him.

00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,561

Oh, honey, I know he's your daddy.

00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:49,939

But to me,

he's still the irresponsible creep...

00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:54,194

...who locked up your mom

and stole her Gremlin.

00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:59,366

I know. I just wanted to know

who he was, you know?

00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:02,452

Yeah, I know.

00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:03,703

[FRANCES SIGHS]

00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:05,205

Okay.

00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:09,709

I wasn't completely honest with you

when I told you that, uh, I didn't know...

00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,170

...exactly where he lived.

00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,130

What do you mean?

00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:18,385

He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown.

00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:23,264

If you hit the Dairy Queen,

you've gone too far.

00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:25,308

You can take my cab.

00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,851

Wow.

00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:28,311

Thank you.

00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:29,729

[FRANCES CHUCKLES]

00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:33,316

-Nobody else drives that cab.

-Uh-huh. Got it.

00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:34,734

Oh.

00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:37,237

-I'm gonna see my dad!

-Ha-ha-ha.

00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:40,240

-Thank you.

-Oh. Ha, ha.

00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:41,866

Mm, okay. Oh.

00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:44,369

Wish me luck, Grandpa.

00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:53,837

Hey.

00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:55,422

Phoebe here with the cab yet?

00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:58,258

Yeah, she brought the invisible cab.

00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,759

Hop in!

00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,179

She'd better get here. The stores close at 7.

00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:06,224

It'll be two hours to Phoebe's dad's house...

00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,518

...they'll meet, chat, swap life stories.

00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:10,353

We'll still have plenty of time.

00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:11,646

[CAR HORN HONKS]

00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,732

-Hey, here she comes!

-Hey.

00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,067

JOEY:

Hey, hey.

00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,069

Hi.

00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:21,698

PHOEBE: Hey.

JOEY: Hey.

00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:23,450

Can you believe this?

00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:25,952

In like two hours I'm gonna have a dad.

00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,495

[SQUEALS]

00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:29,247

Yeah, big stuff.

00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,874

-Okay, let's go.

-Okay.

00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,042

-Here, you have to hold this.

-Okay.

00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,506

"Brake, left. Gas, right"?

00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:40,717

Uh-huh, that's my cheat sheet.

00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,307

-Where's my seat belt?

-That side doesn't have one.

00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:50,185

The paramedics had to cut through it.

00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:56,191

-Hey.

-Hey.

00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:00,361

[TlRE SCREECHES]

00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,782

Come on, just tell me. Please, please.

00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:04,991

[MONlCA WHlMPERS]

00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:09,204

For the 1 6th time,

no, I do not think you're obsessive.

00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,583

-Oh, it's hot in here!

MONICA: Rach, get the heat.

00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,503

-Ross, turn the heat down, please?

-Sure.

00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:18,838

There's a difference between obsessive--

00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,173

Ross, the heat!

00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:24,469

Okay. Heat, heat, heat.

And I'm the obsessive one?

00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:26,429

Okay.

00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,348

This way is on.

00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:31,476

So this is...

00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,311

[RADlATOR HlSSlNG]

00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,104

...off.

00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:38,358

Did you just break the radiator?

00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:41,486

No, I was turning the knob and...

00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:43,446

...here it is.

00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:44,864

Well, put it back!

00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:48,952

ROSS:

It, uh....

00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:52,163

-It won't go back.

-Ugh. I'll call the super.

00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:53,790

Here, let me try.

00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:58,169

Oh, oh, that's right.

I forgot about your ability to fuse metal.

00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,129

Hey, it's Funny's cousin...

00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:01,422

...Not Funny!

00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:03,258

Hi, Mr. Treeger?

00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:05,385

It's Rachel Green from upstairs.

00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,638

Yes, somebody, uh,

broke our knob on the radiator...

00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,683

...and it's really hot in here.

00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,853

Yes, it's hot enough to bake cookies.

00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:19,983

Well, do you think

we could have a new one by 6?

00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,986

What? No, no. Tuesday?

We can't wait until Tuesday.

00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:24,946

We're having a party tonight.

00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,447

Okay, tip the man.

00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:28,533

If he doesn't like our cookies, too bad.

00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,493

I won't be blackmailed.

00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,954

Look, if it gets a little warm...

00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,831

...it can be a theme party.

00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,834

Here's a theme:

"Come on in, live like bacon!"

00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:42,338

PHOEBE:

Ooh, this is it.

00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:44,257

Seventy-four.

00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:48,261

Oh, so that's what this is for!

00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,554

PHOEBE:

Wow.

00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:52,682

This is it. I'm gonna meet my dad.

00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:55,018

This is, like, the biggest thing ever, huh?

00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,270

-Yeah.

-Sure is.

00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,147

Here I go. I'm going in.

00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:00,398

All right!

00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:01,858

Good luck, Pheebs.

00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:03,610

Okay.

00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:09,157

Here I go.

00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:12,243

I'm going.

00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,460

[HAWAllAN MUSlC PLAYlNG

OVER SPEAKERS]

00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:22,921

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:25,381

Hi.

00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:27,967

Welcome to our tropical

Christmas party, heh.

00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:31,721

Put your coats, sweaters,

pants and shirts in the bedroom.

00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:36,601

It's hard to tell because I'm sweating...

00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:39,854

...but I use exactly what the gel bottle says.

00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:46,778

An amount about the size of a pea.

How can that be too much?

00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:51,115

MONICA:

Ice?

00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:54,911

Ice? lce squares anyone?

Take a napkin.

00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,162

All right.

00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:58,247

Monica. Monica!

00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:02,418

Monica, your guests are turning into jerky.

00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:04,754

Really? I'm perfectly comfortable.

00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:08,007

Ha, ha. Hey! Get in line, buddy.

I was next.

00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:13,972

Mr. Treeger.

00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:15,556

You said there was a party.

00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:17,058

Oh, yeah.

00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,810

Well, hey, welcome to our sauna.

00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:22,855

Uh, is it hot? My body always stays cool.

00:16:23,023 --> 00:16:25,483

Probably because I have so much skin.

00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,194

Hey, cheese!

00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:32,615

Here's the chance.

Monica, give him cash.

00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,952

Rachel, give him your earrings.

Something. Anything!

00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,704

No, I will not cave.

00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:38,955

I'm with Mon.

00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:42,417

All right. You know how you say

I never seize the day?

00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:46,004

Even though he's your super, I'm seizing.

00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:48,923

Mr. Treeger?

00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,133

[ROSS CHUCKLES]

00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,969

Here is 50 bucks. Merry Christmas.

00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:54,387

Oh, wow.

00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:55,638

I didn't get you anything.

00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:56,848

[TREEGER CHUCKLES]

00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,017

Here's five back.

00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:02,562

No, that's your Christmas tip.

00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:07,275

Oh, do you think there's a chance

you can fix that radiator now?

00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:09,736

No can do. Like I told the girl...

00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:11,738

...I can't get a knob until Tuesday.

00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,157

-Ross?

ROSS: Yeah?

00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:16,075

He's playing baseball.

00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:18,077

You mean hardball?

00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,498

Whatever.

00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:24,333

What you gonna do?

00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:26,669

Excuse me. I'm seizing.

00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,880

Mr. Treeger?

00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:31,215

Here's another 50.

00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,051

Happy Hanukkah.

00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:36,345

Will, uh, this help with the knob-getting?

00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:37,764

No.

00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:40,892

The place is not open till Tuesday.

00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:42,435

Am I not saying it right?

00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:44,645

[RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]

00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:47,106

So you really did like my cookies?

00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:51,110

Oh, yeah, they were so personal.

It really showed you cared.

00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:58,326

Nice seizing...

00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:00,411

...gel boy.

00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:04,624

So, uh....

00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,751

Is this, uh, mistletoe?

00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:08,628

[CHUCKLES]

00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,421

No, uh, that....

00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:12,882

That is basil.

00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:16,052

-Oh.

-Yeah.

00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:19,222

If it was mistletoe, I was gonna kiss you.

00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,349

[BOTH LAUGH]

00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:23,184

No, it's still basil.

00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,074

Okay.

00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:39,325

[JOEY CLEARS THROAT]

00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:40,868

-How far did you get?

-Mailbox.

00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:44,080

-All right, we're getting closer.

-Uh-huh.

00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:46,666

What's going on?

00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:50,294

It's just, like, a whole mess of stuff.

00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:55,049

Like yesterday, my dad was

this famous Burma tree-surgeon guy.

00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:58,719

And, you know, now he's, uh,

a pharmacist guy and--

00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:03,057

Well, maybe he's this

really cool pharmacist guy.

00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:07,645

Yeah, maybe. And I'll knock on the door...

00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:11,065

...and he'll hug me, and I'll have a dad.

00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:14,902

I'll go to his pharmacy

and everyone will be nice to me...

00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:18,072

...because, you know,

I'm Frank's daughter.

00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,615

So why not go knock?

00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:28,499

Because, I mean,

what if he's not this great dad guy?

00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:33,754

What if he's still the dirtbag

who ran out on my mom and us?

00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:37,508

-Yeah.

CHANDLER: Hmm.

00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:40,052

PHOEBE:

You know what?

00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:43,681

I've already lost a fake dad this week.

00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:47,768

I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.

00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:53,566

Pheebs, that's okay.

You took a big step today.

00:19:54,651 --> 00:19:56,319

-Yeah?

CHANDLER: Yeah.

00:19:56,486 --> 00:20:00,031

Someday, when you're ready,

you'll make it past the hedges.

00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,075

And when you do,

he'll be lucky to have you.

00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:05,828

You guys.

00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:11,334

Sorry about your shopping.

00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:14,962

CHANDLER:

Oh, that's okay. We'll figure something out.

00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:19,383

I know you're not going in there...

00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:23,095

...but do you think it'd be all right

if I went in and used his bathroom?

00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,515

That's fine, never mind.

00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:29,227

Cool, snow!

00:20:29,436 --> 00:20:31,938

Kind of like a blank canvas.

00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:44,533

Ho-ho-ho-holy crap, is it hot in here!

00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:49,038

You mind if I turn the heat down?

00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:52,625

We could have used

that kind of thinking earlier!

00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:54,669

So, Pheebs, how did it go?

00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:56,921

Oh, ahem, I couldn't go in.

00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,257

MONICA: Honey, I'm sorry.

-Are you okay?

00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:02,260

Yeah, it's okay,

because I know he's there.

00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,345

So that's enough for now.

00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:07,723

Hey, it's after midnight!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:11,560

MONICA:

Oh, right! Merry Christmas!

00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,313

The knob was broken...

00:21:14,481 --> 00:21:18,150

...so I turned it off from underneath.

I hope that's all right.

00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:32,498

Rach, these are for you.

00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:35,543

Wiper blades.

00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:37,503

I don't even have a car.

00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:41,799

Ha, ha. No, but with this new-car smell,

you'll think you do.

00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,551

[JOEY LAUGHS]

00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:47,305

Okay, Pheebs, your turn.

00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:50,599

[GASPS]

00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:52,518

Toilet-seat covers.

00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,690

Is that what you were doing

while I was getting gas?

00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:59,025

CHANDLER: Uh-huh.

JOEY: Mm-hm.

00:21:59,192 --> 00:22:01,193

You guys!

00:22:01,361 --> 00:22:02,611

JOEY:

And for Ross...

00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:05,197

...Mr. Sweet Tooth.

00:22:08,243 --> 00:22:10,244

You got me a cola drink?

00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:13,205

And a lemon-lime!

00:22:14,207 --> 00:22:15,291

[CHUCKLES]

00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:20,129

Well, this is too much. I feel like

I should get you another sweater.

00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:24,884

And last but not least....

00:22:26,928 --> 00:22:29,597

They're ribbed for your pleasure.

00:22:39,941 --> 00:22:41,942

[English - US - SDH]