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Моника снова сходится с Фан Бобби, у которого, как замечают другие друзья, проблемы с алкоголем. Моника убеждает его бросить пить, но вскоре обнаруживает, что он больше не веселый. Джои получает роль доктора Дрейка Раморея, нейрохирурга, в сериале «Дни нашей жизни», после того как отказался переспать с девушкой, предлагавшей ему второстепенную роль; затем она предлагает ему главную роль Раморея, ради которой он и переспал с ней. Рейчел встречается с Рассом, который поразительно похож на Росса (обе роли исполняет Дэвид Швиммер). Наконец поняв, что Расс — двойник Росса, Рейчел бросает его. В конце Расс и Джули (Лорен Том) встречаются и влюбляются с первого взгляда.

Эпизод с Рассом

The One with Russ
Сезон: 02Серия: 10

Описание

Моника снова сходится с Фан Бобби, у которого, как замечают другие друзья, проблемы с алкоголем. Моника убеждает его бросить пить, но вскоре обнаруживает, что он больше не веселый. Джои получает роль доктора Дрейка Раморея, нейрохирурга, в сериале «Дни нашей жизни», после того как отказался переспать с девушкой, предлагавшей ему второстепенную роль; затем она предлагает ему главную роль Раморея, ради которой он и переспал с ней. Рейчел встречается с Рассом, который поразительно похож на Росса (обе роли исполняет Дэвид Швиммер). Наконец поняв, что Расс — двойник Росса, Рейчел бросает его. В конце Расс и Джули (Лорен Том) встречаются и влюбляются с первого взгляда.

Субтитры

eng__.srt

eng__.srt

00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:10,259

They're not gonna be sold out of papers

at 1 :00 in the morning.

00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:13,053

I'm excited.

I've never gotten reviewed before.

00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:16,807

You were so amazing as the king.

I'm really impressed. I was.

00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:18,308

PHOEBE:

But you know what?

00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:21,020

You might wanna consider

wearing underwear next time.

00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:24,940

Because when you sat on your throne,

you could kind of see your...

00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,775

...royal subjects.

00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:29,695

Here it is. Here it is.

00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,866

"The only thing worse than

the mindless adolescent direction...

00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:38,871

...was Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly

unskilled portrayal of the king."

00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:41,582

Okay, look.

That is one guy's opinion.

00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:44,460

-All right? Pheebs, read yours.

-Okay.

00:00:44,669 --> 00:00:48,297

"The only thing worse than the mindless,

adolescent direction--"

00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:50,549

Does anybody have one

from a different paper?

00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:53,302

Ross, read yours.

00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,345

I don't want to.

00:00:56,973 --> 00:01:00,350

Joey, honey, they don't know

what they're talking about.

00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:01,852

Maybe they do.

00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:05,064

I've been doing this 1 0 years

and I haven't gotten anywhere.

00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,273

There's gotta be a reason.

00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,734

Come on, man, you're just, uh,

paying your dues.

00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:11,111

No, no, no. It's too hard.

00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,238

It's not worth it. I quit.

00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,698

RACHEL: What?

ROSS: That's crazy.

00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,284

Wait, wait one minute. Wait a minute.

00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:20,245

I believe this will change your mind.

00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:25,709

"ln a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiani was

able to achieve brilliant new levels of--"

00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,544

Continued on page 1 53.

00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:29,546

"--sucking."

00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:19,429

When I was little,

I wanted to be a veterinarian.

00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:23,016

But then I found out you have to

put your hands into cows and stuff.

00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:26,645

Hi.

00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:29,398

PHOEBE:

Are you okay?

00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:32,276

Yeah, just a tough day at work,

you know?

00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,778

Stegosaurus fell over, trapped a kid.

00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:40,450

I know this jacket.

This is Fun Bobby's jacket.

00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,786

Where is he? What? He's here, isn't he?

00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,788

-Maybe.

-Don't toy with me.

00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,958

-Geller!

-Hey, Fun Bobby.

00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:50,043

Whoa, hey. You been working out?

00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:51,295

Not at all.

00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,005

I love this guy.

00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,842

I was so psyched to hear

you're back with my sister.

00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:59,178

-You and me both.

-So, what'd I miss? Come on.

00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:01,722

Oh. We were trying

to make Joey feel better.

00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:05,726

-Hey, do you need me to pick you up?

-No, I'm all right, man, really.

00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:07,311

No, I'm picking you up.

00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,813

Hey, no, seriously.

I don't need you to--

00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,274

[JOEY LAUGHS]

00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,818

-All right, it still works.

-Okay.

00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:18,363

Now, before I go, does anybody else

need to be picked up?

00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:19,990

I'm still gonna go.

00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,577

-Okay, I'll see you later, babe.

BOBBY: Ah.

00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:28,165

Public display of affection coming up.

You can avert your eyes.

00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:30,083

Mm.

00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:37,382

-See you.

ALL: Bye.

00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,593

Fun Bobby is so great.

00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:40,928

Oh, isn't he?

00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:45,849

I really think this time it may work with him.

I mean, he makes me feel so good.

00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:49,394

And I've been feeling so lousy,

you know, no job, no boyfriend.

00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,855

Well, at least my cup is half full.

00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,691

Half full of love.

00:03:57,195 --> 00:04:00,948

And for our two-week anniversary,

he's gonna take me to his cousin's cabin.

00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:03,116

Cabin of love.

00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:07,579

We went through a lot of wine tonight,

you guys.

00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:10,290

-Really? I only had two glasses.

-I just had a glass.

00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,459

-Two.

-I had one glass.

00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,211

I had about a mug full in this lovely...

00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:17,381

..."l got boned at the Museum

of Natural History" mug.

00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,802

Okay, so that's, what? Two bottles.

00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,471

And yet somehow we went through five?

00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,312

CHANDLER:

Whoa.

00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,773

Oh.

00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,861

So what? So he drank a lot tonight.

00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,989

Yeah, but, you know,

now that I think about it...

00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:46,326

...I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby

without a drink in his hand.

00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,620

PHOEBE:

Yeah. Ooh, ooh, yeah, you know?

00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:51,748

Did you notice how he always

starts his stories with, um:

00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:55,294

"Okay, I was so wasted," or,

"Oh, we were so bombed."

00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:59,840

Or, um, "So I wake up and I'm

in this Dumpster in Connecticut."

00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:04,761

Monica, have you ever been with him

when he wasn't drinking?

00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:08,682

Well, we just happen to go to

a lot of places where you might drink.

00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:12,102

I mean, how do you go to a wine-tasting

without having a drink?

00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,938

Or to a club, or to the...

00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:16,440

...zoo.

00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,822

Rach, does this have nonfat milk?

00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,325

Um, I don't know, why don't you taste it?

00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:29,995

Mm. No.

00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:32,122

Oh, well, too late, you already had some.

00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,837

What do you say we make these, uh,

coffees lrish?

00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,592

Um, cake.

00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:47,554

Yeah, we're gonna--

We're gonna get some cake.

00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:54,144

You know, it seems like you've been

making an awful lot of stuff lrish lately.

00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:58,732

I would make them Belgian, but the waffles

are hard to get into that flask.

00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,650

Bobby.

00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:01,860

Yeah, okay.

00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:05,989

Look, maybe this is none of my business,

or maybe it is, I don't know.

00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:09,034

But, um, I'm kind of worried about you.

00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:13,705

Okay, look, this isn't the first time

somebody said something to me about this.

00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:18,377

But, I don't know, I always made excuses,

like "I'm just a social drinker."

00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:21,088

Or "Hey, come on, it's Flag Day."

00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,008

So, what are you saying now?

00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,387

I guess I'm saying...

00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,013

...I'll try and quit.

00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:32,391

I kind of like that you worry about me.

00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,021

So, what's going on?

00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,565

I am gonna try and quit drinking.

00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,359

Oh. Why?

00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:47,197

-Hey.

-Hey.

00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,116

MONICA: Hey.

PHOEBE: Hey.

00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:50,951

Guess who's back in show business.

00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,286

Ooh, ooh. Lorne Greene?

00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,166

No, Pheebs. You know why?

Because he's dead.

00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,626

Oh, no.

00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:04,047

Okay, I guess this is gonna seem

bittersweet now...

00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,841

...but Joey, that's who.

00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:07,509

PHOEBE: Oh, yay!

RACHEL: Really?

00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:10,637

My agent just called me with an audition

for Days of our Lives.

00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,181

Kick ass.

00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:17,060

We have to celebrate.

We should do a soap opera theme.

00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:20,730

Hey, yeah. We could all sleep together,

and then one of us could get amnesia.

00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,654

Rach, what time do you get off?

We're all gonna do something tonight.

00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:32,242

Uh, well, actually, I'm already done.

Ahem. But I kind of got plans.

00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,452

[MONlCA GASPS]

00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:34,911

You have other friends?

00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,915

Yeah, l, uh-- I have a date.

00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,126

-What?

-With a man?

00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,754

What? What is so strange

about me having a date?

00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,173

What about Ross?

00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:48,884

Are you still mad at him

because he made that list about--?

00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:51,511

No, no, I'm not mad at him.

00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:54,306

I'm not really anything at him anymore.

00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,975

-What are you talking about?

-I don't know.

00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:02,272

Whatever I was feeling, I'm...not.

00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,107

But you guys came so close.

00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:07,402

Oh, I know. I'm sorry, you guys.

You're gonna have to get used to the fact...

00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,696

...that I will not be dating Ross.

00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:14,117

Here he is. Hi.

00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:16,620

Guys, this is Russ.

00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:18,580

Hi.

00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:33,970

No, no, no. I'm not saying

you're not talented. You're very talented.

00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:38,517

It's just that with the bird dead and all,

there's very little act left.

00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:42,562

Oh, honey, give me a break, will you?

Oh, oh. I'll talk to you later.

00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,648

Well, there's my favorite client.

00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:47,442

So tell me, darling,

how was the audition?

00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:51,655

Well, I think it went pretty well.

I got a callback for Thursday.

00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:54,950

Joey. Have you ever seen me ecstatic?

00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:58,662

-No.

-Well, here it is.

00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:06,127

Okay. Uh, listen, there's something

I want to talk to you about.

00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:09,673

-The network casting lady--

-Oh, isn't Lori a doll?

00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,925

Yeah, yeah, she's great.

00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:16,972

But I kind of got the feeling

that she was sort of coming on to me.

00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:21,560

And I definitely would get the part

if I were to, you know....

00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,608

-If I would have sent the little general in.

-Oh.

00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:34,614

I see. Well, I'm just gonna

put in a call here...

00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,659

...and we'll find out what's going on

and straighten it out.

00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:40,954

Yeah, hi. Lori, please.

00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,874

Hi, darling.

00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:48,128

So how about Joey Tribbiani

for the part of the cab driver?

00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,088

Isn't he terrific?

00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:54,175

Uh-huh.

00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:56,886

Okay, doll, talk to you later.

00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:59,180

Yeah, you're gonna have to

sleep with her.

00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,103

RACHEL: What's the matter?

MONICA: Fun Bobby.

00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,646

What? lsn't he sober?

00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,273

Oh, he's sober all right.

00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:11,234

Just turns out that Fun Bobby

was fun for a reason.

00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:15,155

Ah. Okay.

00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:18,450

All right, here you go, sweetie.

00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,828

BOBBY:

Thanks. You wanna hear something funny?

00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:23,663

Oh, God, yes.

00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:29,669

There are no hardware stores open

past midnight in the Village.

00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,299

That is funny.

00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:37,636

I needed to buy a hammer

the other night...

00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:40,180

...and I'm out walking

around the neighborhood.

00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:41,806

But apparently...

00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:46,770

...there are no hardware stores open

past midnight in the Village.

00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:54,110

Uh, say, honey, don't you have to

be at your interview?

00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,779

Oh, yeah.

00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:00,784

BOBBY: See you guys.

CHANDLER: Bye...

00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,703

...ridiculously dull Bobby.

00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:08,041

-Oh, my God.

-He's not that bad.

00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:12,212

Not that bad?

Did you not hear the hammer story?

00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:14,589

Okay, okay, don't get all squinky.

00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:19,094

Maybe it was just the kind of story

where you had to be there.

00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:20,637

But I'm gonna be there.

00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:23,264

For the rest of my life.

00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,851

I can't break up with him.

I made him quit drinking.

00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:29,771

-He's dull because of me.

-All right, don't say that.

00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:33,358

He's probably always been dull.

You just, you know...

00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:34,901

...set it free.

00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:39,531

-Hi.

-Hey, Ross. Ah.

00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:41,866

RACHEL:

Hi, Russ.

00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,619

I've just got two more tables to clean,

and then we'll go, okay?

00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:47,706

Okay. I'll just sit here and, uh...

00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,999

...chat with your, uh...

00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,962

...friend-type people.

00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:01,636

Rachel? Um, hi.

00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:02,887

-Hi.

-Okay.

00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,597

So you know what you're doing, right?

00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:06,474

Ha, ha. Waitressing?

00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,227

Well, yeah. But, no. I mean, um....

00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:12,981

Doesn't Russ just

remind you of someone?

00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:17,610

-Huh. Bob Saget?

-Oh, yeah.

00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,406

-No, no, no. Oh, oh.

-Hi.

00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:22,866

Oh, my, oh.

00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,659

What--? What's wrong?

00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:28,621

-I-- Okay.

-She's just upset because she, uh--

00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:30,957

She buttered a spider

into her toast this morning.

00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:32,667

CHANDLER:

Mm-hm.

00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,002

All right.

00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,882

Listen, Pheebs.

This is gonna be okay.

00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:41,301

Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.

00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:44,888

-Hi.

-Hi.

00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,515

Are you a, uh, friend of RacheI's?

00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:48,767

Yes. Yes, I am.

00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:51,603

Are you a, uh, friend of RacheI's?

00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,731

Actually, I'm, uh, kind of a...

00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,107

...you know...

00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:59,235

...a date-type thing...

00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:00,695

...of RacheI's.

00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:04,824

- A date?

-Yeah. I'm her date.

00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,785

Oh. Oh, you're, uh....

00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,621

Oh, you're the date.

00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,372

You know, this is actually good...

00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:14,209

...because if we ever lose Ross,

we have a spare.

00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:17,754

Oh. You are the, uh, paleontologist.

00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:21,341

Yes. Yes, I am. And you are a....

00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,260

Periodontist.

00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:27,597

See? Now they're

as different as night and...

00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:29,891

...later that night.

00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:34,103

Well, I am going to, uh, get a beverage.

Heh.

00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:37,607

-Uh, it was nice, uh, meeting you.

-Ditto.

00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:45,240

I, uh-- Well, I met Russ.

00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:46,491

[ROSS CHUCKLES]

00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,867

Oh.

00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:50,745

Hey, I didn't know

we were, uh, seeing other people.

00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:54,207

-Well, we're not seeing each other, so....

-Huh.

00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,877

Well, uh, for your information,

there's a woman at the museum...

00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:01,089

...who's curator of moths and other, uh...

00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,300

...winged things...

00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:09,681

...who's, uh, let it be known

that she is drawn to me, much like a...

00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:12,141

...you know. Ahem.

00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:15,144

Well, so far I've been keeping her at bay,

but, uh, if this is the deal--

00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,563

Yeah, this is the deal.

00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:18,773

-Okay, well, um, have a nice evening.

-Thank you.

00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,901

-Russ, are you ready?

-Yeah.

00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,280

RACHEL: Bye.

MONICA: Bye.

00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:31,411

She's dating?

00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:34,747

Yes. Yes, but did you see

who she was dating?

00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,457

What do you mean?

00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,835

-Do you not see it?

-See what?

00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:41,838

I don't know what she sees

in that goober.

00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:47,719

It takes him, what?

Like, I don't know, uh...

00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:50,847

...hello, a week to get out a sentence?

00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:52,932

Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it?

00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,767

[CHUCKLES]

00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:56,644

Yeah.

00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,945

-Hey.

JOEY: Hey.

00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:07,989

Whoa, whoa.

00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:10,742

I'm guessing you didn't get the part...

00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,536

...or, uh, Italy called

and said it was hungry?

00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,289

Well, the part's mine if I want it.

00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:17,874

Oh, my God.

00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,835

Yeah. lf I'm willing to sleep

with the casting lady.

00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:22,253

Oh, my...

00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:24,213

...God?

00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:28,593

Ten years I've been waiting for

a break like this, Chandler. Ten years.

00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:32,513

I mean, Days of our Lives.

That's actually on television.

00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:34,849

So, what are you gonna do?

00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,560

I guess I could sleep with her.

I mean....

00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:39,187

How can I do that?

00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:43,232

Well, I've got a pop-up book

that told me everything I needed to know.

00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,194

I've never slept with someone for a part.

00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:47,528

Well, is she--?

00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:50,865

Sorry.

00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,202

-Is she good-looking?

-Yeah.

00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:57,538

She's totally good-looking.

I mean, if I met her in a bar or something...

00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,041

...I'd be buying her breakfast.

00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,795

You know, after having slept with her.

00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:11,636

You know, maybe this isn't

such a big deal.

00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:17,350

I mean, the way that I see it is, you get

a great job and you get to have sex.

00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,561

You know? Throw in a tree and a fat guy,

and you've got Christmas.

00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:28,194

I just-- I just don't think

that I want it that way though, you know?

00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:30,905

I mean, let's say I do make it, all right?

00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:34,283

I'm always gonna look back and wonder

if it was because of my talent...

00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:37,370

...or because of, you know,

the little general.

00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:42,750

Didn't you used to call it the little major?

00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:45,753

Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco,

I had to promote it.

00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,261

Can I get you something from the bar?

00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,221

Yes, I would like something.

00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:58,307

No. No, thank you.

00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:02,270

No, if you want a drink, it's okay with me.

I've gotta get used to it.

00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:05,231

No, no, really.

I wouldn't feel right about it.

00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:06,983

Just some water, please.

00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:11,237

-So the light went out in my refrigerator.

-Scotch on the rocks with a twist.

00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:13,990

I'm sorry.

00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:16,576

Hey, we're having some fun now,

huh, Ross?

00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,162

Wanna do another one?

Huh, Russ?

00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,833

Okay. Eleven letters...

00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:27,503

...atomic element number 1 01 ,

ends in "ium."

00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,882

-Dysprosium.

-Ha, ha. Dysprosium.

00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,592

Try mendelevium.

00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:35,053

And weenie number two has it.

00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:39,640

Unless of course 9 Down, "Nights in White

Satin" was sung by the Doody Blues.

00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,105

You don't see it?

You actually don't see it?

00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:49,525

-What?

-Okay, honey, you're dating Ross.

00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,486

No, Pheebs, I'm dating Russ.

00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:54,155

Russ is Ross. Russ, Ross.

00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:55,698

Steve, sleeve.

00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,451

Okay, no one is named sleeve.

00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:01,204

Phoebe, what the hell

are we talking about?

00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:05,500

Other than their names being similar,

I'm sorry, I do not see what you're seeing.

00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:09,879

For your information,

it's a card sharp, not a card shark.

00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,672

You could not be more wrong.

00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,383

You could try,

but you would not be successful.

00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:19,555

Okay, I'm gonna get some more coffee

before the pinching and eye-poking begins.

00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:24,227

-I know what your problem is.

-Oh, you do, do you?

00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:25,728

Mm-hm. You're jealous.

00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,982

Uh, of what?

00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,693

You're jealous because I'm a real doctor.

00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,278

[CHUCKLES]

00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:36,489

Hey, you're a doctor of gums.

00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:39,242

That's the smallest body part

you can major in.

00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:43,579

It's like, day one, floss.

Day two, here's your diploma.

00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:44,914

-Now, you listen--

-No, no.

00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,916

ROSS: Let me finish.

RUSS: No, let me finish.

00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:49,127

No, you let me fin--

00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,547

-Hi.

-Hi.

00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:55,341

Ew.

00:18:56,009 --> 00:18:58,219

Ew, ew, ew.

00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:05,017

-Did Joey say what he was gonna do?

CHANDLER: No.

00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:07,103

I don't even think he knew.

00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,856

Hey, would you sleep with somebody

to get a great job?

00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:12,608

I don't know.

Who would I have to sleep with?

00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,277

Me.

00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,197

Why would I have to sleep with you?

00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:20,658

It's my game. You want the job or not?

00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,162

-Hi.

-Hey.

00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,622

-Good morning.

-Where you going?

00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,083

Bobby and I are going away

for the weekend. Remember?

00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:30,334

ROSS:

Oh.

00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:32,837

PHOEBE:

What's with all the bottles of liquor?

00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:35,464

What's going on?

Is, uh, Bobby drinking again?

00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,134

Oh, no, this is not for him.

This is for me.

00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:43,264

That way, he's still sober, but I find

his stories about shoelaces more amusing.

00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,851

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:51,230

Ugh, God. Even his knock is boring.

00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:57,111

-Hi. I'll be ready in just a second.

-Uh, could I talk to you a minute?

00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:58,446

Sure.

00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:03,743

-This is really hard for me to say.

-Oh, God. You fell off the wagon.

00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:05,161

Oh, no, no.

00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:06,579

It's about you.

00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,331

What about me?

00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,083

I think you may have a drinking problem.

00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:15,838

What, these?

00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:19,258

No, these are, um, for cuts and scrapes.

00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:24,639

Look, I am just not strong enough to be

in a codependent relationship right now.

00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:28,184

Oh, shoot.

00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:33,022

Well, anyway,

I hope we can be friends.

00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,774

Okay.

00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:38,444

Take care.

00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:41,155

-Okay. You too.

-Bye.

00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:45,701

What happened?

00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,996

Well, we kind of broke up.

00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,249

ALL:

Aw.

00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,672

Does anybody want these?

00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,090

I'll take one.

00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:03,636

Sometimes I like to hold stuff like this

and pretend I'm a giant.

00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:10,893

-Hey.

-Hey. How'd the callback go?

00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:14,855

Ugh, it was unbelievable.

I walked in there and she was all over me.

00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:17,149

-So, what did you do?

-Well, I couldn't do it.

00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,278

-I told her I didn't want the part that way.

-Good for you.

00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:22,822

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

But then after I left her office...

00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:26,367

...she caught up with me at the elevator

and offered me an even bigger part.

00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:27,743

So, and...?

00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:33,916

So you are now looking

at Dr. Drake Ramoray, neurosurgeon...

00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,127

...recurring in at least four episodes.

00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,795

CHANDLER:

All right!

00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,755

All right, I gotta go shower.

00:21:53,186 --> 00:21:54,520

Hi.

00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,355

-Oh, hey.

-Hi.

00:21:56,523 --> 00:21:58,941

I guess you guys heard

Rachel dumped me.

00:21:59,109 --> 00:22:00,526

Yeah, I'm sorry, man.

00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:03,612

All she said was that I remind her

too much of somebody.

00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:05,614

You have any idea who

she's talking about?

00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:10,244

Oh, I do. It's Bob Saget.

00:22:12,205 --> 00:22:14,040

-She hates him.

RUSS: Oh.

00:22:14,207 --> 00:22:16,500

-Hey.

CHANDLER: Hey, Julie.

00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:17,835

PHOEBE:

Hey, how are you doing?

00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:21,714

Oh. I don't know. I mean,

it's definitely weird not being with Ross...

00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:24,008

...but I guess I'm doing okay.

00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:27,094

Actually, I've got some of his stuff

that he, um....

00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:45,529

[English - US - SDH]

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