Эпизод, где Эдди не хочет выселяться

00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:09,883

Hey, Eddie. Aah!

00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,388

-What are you doing here?

-Watching you sleep.

00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,349

Why?

00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,560

It makes me feel, um, peaceful.

00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,395

Ha, ha. Ahem. Please.

00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:23,522

I can't sleep now!

00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:24,898

Oh, you want me to sing?

00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,526

No. Look.

00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:31,030

That's it. ! want you

out of the apartment now!

00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,282

Oh, what are you talking about?

00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,825

Hannibal Lecter?

00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:37,619

Better roommate than you.

00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:38,829

No.

00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:42,875

I don't think you're being fair!

One night you see me, you get scared.

00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:46,003

What about the other nights

when you don't see me, huh?

00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:48,964

Last night you went

and got some water...

00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:52,634

...and I was nice enough to hide

behind the door. What that about, huh?

00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,179

-I didn't realize that.

- Ah.

00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:57,473

Get out now!

00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,225

Okay. You really want me out?

00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,477

Yes, please.

00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:04,313

Then ! want to hear you say

you want me out.

00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:05,773

I want you out.

00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,649

I want to hear it from your lips.

00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:10,569

Where'd you hear it before?

00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,822

Oh, right, all right. You know what?

Consider me gone.

00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:17,326

I'll be out by the time

you get home from work tomorrow.

00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,871

[MOUTHS] Thank you.

EDD!E: ! heard that.

00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,466

-Thanks.

-Hey.

00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:15,717

-Hey.

-Hey.

00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,427

Well, look at you!

00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,471

Finally got that

time machine working, huh?

00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,099

You like it?

00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:24,977

This guy was selling them

on 8th Avenue and I thought:

00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:28,105

-"You know what I don't have?"

- A mirror?

00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:32,025

Fine, make fun. ! think it's jaunty.

00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,947

Wow! For a guy who's recently lost

his job, you're in a good mood.

00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:40,284

I'll be all right.

I'm not starting from square one.

00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,954

I was Dr. Drake Ramoray

on Days of our Lives.

00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,957

Huh? That's got to have

some kind of cachet.

00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,169

Cachet? Jaunty?

00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:53,255

Chandler gave me

word-of-the-day toilet paper.

00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,675

I'm gonna get some coffee.

00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:59,052

-Hey.

MONICA & RACHEL: Hey.

00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:01,680

Oh! So? Did you read the book?

00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,099

Oh, my God. It was incredible!

00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,809

Didn't it, like, totally speak to you?

00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:08,020

-Whoa, whoa, what book is this?

-Oh.

00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:11,899

Uh! You have to read this book.

It's called Be Your own Wind Keeper.

00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,985

Ooh. It's about how women need

to become more empowered.

00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,654

And, oh! But there's wind.

00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:22,075

And the wind can make us goddesses.

00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:25,120

Do you know who takes our wind?

Men. They just take it.

00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,583

Men just take our wind?

00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:33,754

Uh-huh. All the time.

Because they are the lightning-bearers.

00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:36,757

-Wow.

PHOEBE: Yeah.

00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,718

That sounds kind of cool.

It's like The Hobbit.

00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:42,095

It is nothing like The Hobbit.

00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,974

It's like reading about

every relationship I've ever had.

00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,476

Except for Richard.

00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,645

Oh, yes. No.

Richard would never steal your wind.

00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:51,230

-No.

PHOEBE: No.

00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:53,815

-Because he's yummy.

-Yes.

00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:55,150

But all the other ones.

00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,195

Oh, and the part about how

they're always drinking...

00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,280

...from our pool of inner power.

00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:02,741

But God forbid we should take a sip.

00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,117

Anybody want a cruller?

00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:07,704

This is a typical lightning-bearer thing.

00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,539

Right there. It's like, um...

00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:13,418

..."Hello. Who wants one of

my phallic-shaped man-cakes?"

00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:24,096

ESTELLE: Don't worry about it, already!

Things happen.

00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:29,309

So you're not mad at me

for getting fired and everything?

00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:31,728

Joey, look at me.

00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,730

Look at me!

00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,901

Do I have lipstick on my teeth?

00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:41,989

No.

00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:43,448

Uh, can we get back to me?

00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:47,744

Look, honey. People get fired

left and right in this business.

00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,914

I already got you an audition

for Another World.

00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,499

All right!

00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:55,252

"Cab Driver Number 2"?

00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:57,129

You're welcome.

00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,300

But-- But ! was Dr. Drake Ramoray!

00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:05,012

How can I go from being

a neurosurgeon to driving a cab?

00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:08,682

Things change. Roll with them.

00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:11,184

But this is a two-line part!

00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,562

It's like taking a step backwards.

00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:15,647

I'm not gonna do this.

00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:18,483

Joey.

00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:21,653

I'm gonna tell you the same thing

I told Al Minza...

00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:24,197

...and his pyramid of dogs.

00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:28,869

Take any job you can get,

and don't make on the floor.

00:05:30,788 --> 00:05:32,414

I'm sorry.

00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,082

I'll see you.

00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,292

[JOEY SIGHS]

00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:37,878

Uh, God!

00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:40,464

Oh, God! I mean, it's just so....

00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:41,923

Isn't it?

00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,218

Uh. This is like reading

about my own life!

00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:49,264

This book could have been called

Be Your Own wind Keeper, Rachel!

00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,142

It wouldn't have sold

a million copies...

00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,519

...but it would've made

a nice gift for you.

00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,938

-Hey, you guys.

-Hey.

00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:59,149

Uh, sweetie, we've gotta go.

00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,400

No!

00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:03,737

No? Heh.

00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:08,784

No! Why do we always have to do

everything according to your timetable?

00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:12,245

Actually, it's the movie theater

that has the timetable.

00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,915

It's so you don't miss the beginning.

00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,416

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:21,380

This isn't about the movie theater.

This is about you stealing my wind.

00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:25,008

You go, girl!

00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,138

I can't pull that off, can !?

00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,935

Excuse me, your wind?

00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,603

Yes, my wind.

00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:39,648

How do you expect me to grow

if you won't let me blow?

00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:48,907

You know I don't...

00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,703

...have a problem with that.

00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:03,213

Okay.

00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:08,427

I just really need to be

with myself right now.

00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:10,595

I'm sorry.

00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,140

PHOEBE: Mm, mm, mm.

-Uh, you're right.

00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:14,683

I don't have to apologize.

00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,185

Sorry. Damn it!

00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:25,485

-What is it?

-I don't know.

00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:28,530

It's got all this stuff

about wind and trees...

00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,282

...and some sacred pool.

00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:33,743

I don't really get it.

But she's pretty upset about it.

00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:36,746

This is why I don't date

women who read.

00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,541

Uh-oh.

00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,042

What? What's that?

00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,378

It's my VlSA bill.

00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,881

Envelope one of two.

00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,760

-That can't be good.

-Open it, open it.

00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:56,016

-Oh, my God!

-Whoa!

00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,268

Look at this!

How did I spend so much money?

00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:02,606

Uh, that's just the minimum amount.

That's your total.

00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,608

Aah!

00:08:04,775 --> 00:08:09,196

Whoa, whoa. Thirty-five hundred dollars

at "Porcelain Safari"?

00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,780

My animals.

00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:15,160

The guy said they suited me. He spoke

with an accent. I was confused.

00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,828

Oh.

00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,663

I don't know what to do!

00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,833

You can start by driving a cab

on Another World.

00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:23,793

-What?

-That audition?

00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,754

That's a two-line part!

00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:30,091

Joey, you owe $1 1 00

at "I Love Lucite."

00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:32,636

-So what?

-So suck it up, man.

00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:34,387

It's a job. lt's money.

00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:38,433

I don't need you getting judgmental

and condescending and pedantic.

00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:42,020

-Toilet paper?

-Yeah.

00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:46,900

I'm not being any of those things.

I'm being realistic.

00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:49,986

-You're supposed to be my friend!

-I am your friend.

00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:52,239

Then tell me things like,

"You'll be fine."

00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:55,659

And "Something big's gonna

come along. ! know it!"

00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,160

But ! don't know it.

00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,872

What ! do know is you owe $2300

at "Isn't It Chromantic?"

00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,292

I'm aware of what I owe.

00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:08,296

Then get some sense.

It took you 1 0 years to get that job.

00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:11,341

-How long till you get another?

-I don't want to hear this!

00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:12,592

I'm just saying....

00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,928

Well, don't "just say"!

00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,848

Oh. Maybe I should just go.

00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:21,685

Okay.

00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:23,395

I'll see you later.

00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:26,314

Just think about it.

00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,400

I don't need to think about it!

00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,860

I was Dr. Drake Ramoray!

00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,904

That was huge!

00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:35,615

Big things are gonna happen!

You'll see!

00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:36,908

Ross!

00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:38,952

You still there?

00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,253

[S!GHS]

00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,465

-Hey, pal.

-Oh, God!

00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:55,844

What are you still doing here?

00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:58,972

Uh, just some basic dehydrating

of fruits and vegetables.

00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,683

Man alive, this thing's fantastic!

00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,769

Aren't you forgetting anything?

00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,105

Oh, yeah. I got us a new goldfish.

00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,232

He's feistier than the last one.

00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,527

Maybe because the last one

was made by Pepperidge Farm.

00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:17,741

Eddie, isn't there something else

you're supposed to be doing now?

00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:20,410

Not unless it's got something

to do with dehydrating.

00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,412

Because right now,

I'm a dehydrating maniac!

00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,039

[LAUGHS]

00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,876

I thought we had a deal.

00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,711

-I thought by the time I got--

-Uh, uh.

00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,004

You know what that is?

00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:32,922

Your last roommate's kidney?

00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,382

[EDDlE CHUCKLES]

00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:36,676

That's a tomato. Ha, ha.

00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:38,762

This one definitely goes in the display.

00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:40,430

[LAUGHlNG]

00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,100

It's in the display.

00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:45,935

[SOBS]

00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:51,775

Hey, Gunther.

Let me get a, uh, lemonade to go.

00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,360

Lemonade?

00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:55,070

You okay, man?

00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,572

Ahh, it's career stuff.

00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,492

They killed off

my character on the show.

00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,411

Oh, that's too bad.

How'd they do it?

00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,538

I fell down an elevator shaft.

00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:07,874

Oh. That sucks.

00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:09,751

I was buried in an avalanche.

00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:12,379

What?

00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:15,131

I used to be Brice on A/l My Chi/dren.

00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:36,444

[BOTH SCREAM]

00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,738

Why must everybody watch me sleep?

00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:41,616

There'll be no more

watching me sleep! No more...

00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:42,867

-...watching!

-I--

00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,369

CHANDLER:

Neh.

00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:52,711

I got some great stuff to dehydrate.

Grapes, apricots.

00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:56,423

I thought it'd be cool to see

what happens with these water balloons.

00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:59,676

Get out.

Get out, get out, get out!

00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:02,929

-What?

-You! Move out!

00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:07,267

Take your fruit!

Your stupid small fruit and get out!

00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,436

You want me to move out? Uh....

00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,150

Uh-huh.

00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:17,694

Heh. I, uh--

00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:22,198

Ooh! Ha, ha. I gotta tell you, that's kind

of out of the blue, don't you think?

00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,201

This is not out of the blue!

00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,579

This is smack-dab

in the middle of the blue!

00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:29,414

Whoa!

00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,083

Relax! Take it easy, buddy!

00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,085

You don't have to tell me twice.

00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:37,714

God, I mean, someone will be by

for my stuff.

00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:46,222

If you think I'm leaving you

alone with my fish, you're insane!

00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:48,600

You want some help?

00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,685

No help required, chico!

00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:02,739

All the way to the airport, huh?

You know, that's over 30 miles.

00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:06,242

That's gonna cost you about so bucks.

00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:08,661

Excuse me, that's "50" bucks.

00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:12,832

-What?

-Five-O dollars.

00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:17,712

Oh. You know what it is?

It's smudgy because they're fax pages.

00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:20,840

When I was on Days ofour Lives

as Dr. Drake Ramoray...

00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,344

...they'd send over

the whole script on real paper.

00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:27,430

Ha, ha. That's great.

00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:31,684

If you wanted to expand this scene,

like have the cab crash...

00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:33,770

...I could attend to the victims...

00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:36,064

...because ! have a background

in medical acting.

00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,440

[CHUCKLES]

00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,275

Okay, listen, thanks for coming in.

00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:43,655

No. Uh, don't thank me for coming in.

Uh, at least let me finish.

00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,324

[S!GHS]

00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,993

Uh, we could take the expressway...

00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:53,665

...but, uh, this time of day

you're better off taking the budge.

00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,546

You were going for bridge there,

weren't you?

00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:01,631

I'll have a good day.

00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,091

[CHUCKLES]

00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,471

Okay, question number 28.

00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:12,767

"Have you ever allowed

a lightning-bearer to take your wind?"

00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,270

I would have to say no.

00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:19,524

And I would have to say, "Pah, ha."

00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:21,651

What?

00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,570

Do you not remember the puppet guy?

00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:28,741

You totally let him wash his feet

in the pool of your inner power.

00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:31,995

And his puppet too!

00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,372

Well, at least I didn't let some guy...

00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:37,500

...into the forest of my righteous truth

on the first date!

00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,214

-Who?

-Paul!

00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,799

Oh!

00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:48,177

Okay, okay, moving on, moving on.

Next question.

00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,888

Okay, number 29.

00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:53,057

"Have you ever betrayed

another goddess...

00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,227

...for a lightning-bearer?"

Okay, number 30.

00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:59,314

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Let's go back to 29.

00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:02,817

Not, uh....

00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:05,236

Ahem. Not to my recollection.

00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:06,529

[PHOEBE GASPS]

00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:09,073

Danny Arshack, ninth grade.

00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,868

You know the bottle

was pointing at me.

00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,787

Only because you took up

half the circle!

00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:16,581

[GASPS]

00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,210

Listen to you two. It's so sad.

00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:22,503

Oh!

00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:24,923

Looks like !'ll be going to

the goddess meetings alone.

00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,466

Mm.

00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:29,719

Not when they find out

you slept with Jason...

00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,639

...an hour after

he broke up with Monica.

00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:36,100

One hour?

00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:39,687

-You are such a leaf blower!

RACHEL: Oh!

00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:42,857

Ugh!

00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,152

Ugh.

00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,578

Oh, hey, uh,

be careful with that 3-D Last Supper.

00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:58,539

Judas is a little loose.

00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,796

Oh, my God! What's going on?

00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:06,089

[S!GHS]

00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:09,258

They're taking all my stuff back.

I guess you were right.

00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:12,595

No, I wasn't right.

That's what I came here to tell you.

00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:17,266

I was totally hung up

on my own stuff the other day.

00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:21,187

No, listen. ! need the whole

security thing, you know?

00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:25,775

To know where my next paycheck is

coming from. But you don't need that.

00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,735

And that's amazing to me.

00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,238

I could never do what you do.

00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:31,489

[CHUCKLES]

00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,908

-Thanks.

-You hold out for something bigger.

00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,202

I can't tell you

how much respect I have...

00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:39,330

...for you not going

to that stupid audition.

00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,165

-I went.

-Great! How did it go?

00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,710

-I didn't get it.

-Good for you!

00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:45,128

You're living the dream!

00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:46,796

-Huh?

-Ha, ha.

00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,840

All right, then!

00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,133

[ROSS CHUCKLES]

00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,926

-Oh, not my parrot.

-What?

00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:54,929

JOEY:

I can't watch this.

00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,640

Hey, hold on, hold on.

00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:01,894

How much for the, uh...?

How much to save the bird?

00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,938

-Twelve hundred.

-Dollars?

00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,899

You spent $1200 on a plastic bird?

00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:10,069

Uh, it was an impulse buy.

Near the register.

00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,989

Go ahead with the bird.

00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:17,535

-Do you have anything for around $200?

-Uh.

00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:19,203

The dog.

00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,706

-Huh?

-Yeah.

00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,458

[CHUCKLES]

00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:24,792

I'll take it.

00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,711

My gift to you, man.

00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,381

Thanks, Ross!

00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,675

I really liked that bird, though.

00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,928

-But the dog! Oh!

-Yeah. Right?

00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,813

Here are your cakes.

00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:47,315

We didn't order cake.

00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,610

No, I know. Ahem. They're from me.

00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,154

You guys, this is not good.

00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:55,865

We have enough trouble

with guys stealing our wind...

00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,159

...without taking it from each other.

00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,203

-You're right.

RACHEL: You know?

00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:02,663

I love you goddesses.

00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,249

I love you.

00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:07,168

I don't ever want

to suck your wind again.

00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:08,836

Oh.

00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:11,464

-Thank you. So are we good?

-Oh. We're good.

00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:12,757

-We're good?

-Yes.

00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:16,469

Okay. Let me take these back.

They'll take it out of my paycheck.

00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,682

Ding-dong, the psycho's gone!

00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:27,939

-Are you sure this time?

CHANDLER: Yes.

00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,024

I actually saw him leave.

00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,610

That guy is holding a human head.

00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:35,446

He's holding a human head!

00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:38,991

Check it out, man!

00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:42,328

I tore it off a mannequin

in the alley behind Macy's. Ha, ha.

00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:43,871

There is no alley behind Macy's.

00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,541

So I got it in the junior miss

department. Big diff.

00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:50,461

It'll make a hell of a conversation piece

at our next cocktail party, huh?

00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,547

"Our next cocktail party"?

00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:56,717

Yeah, you know, we'll put chips in it.

We'll make it a chip chick.

00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,094

[LAUGHS]

00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,390

Eddie, do you remember yesterday?

00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,684

Uh, yes, I think ! vaguely recall it.

00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,936

[EDDlE LAUGHS]

00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:12,900

Ahem. Do you remember

talking to me yesterday?

00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,277

Uh, yes.

00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:16,362

[EDDlE LAUGHS]

00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:20,658

So, what happened?

00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,869

We took a road trip to Las Vegas!

00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:24,954

Oh, sweet Moses!

00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,167

So on this road trip,

uh, did you win any money?

00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:32,587

Nah, I crapped out. But Mr. 21 here!

He cleans up!

00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:35,089

$300! He buys me these new shoes.

Sweet, huh?

00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:36,757

Nice.

00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,051

Uh, see you upstairs. See you, pals!

00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:44,974

Is anyone else starting

to really like him?

00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:46,225

[LAUGHS]

00:19:56,111 --> 00:19:58,029

[MUTTERS]

00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:06,829

May I help you?

00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:11,334

Why doesn't my key work,

and what's my stuff doing downstairs?

00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:14,378

I'm sorry. Aah.

00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,297

Have we met?

00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,799

It's Eddie, you freak!

Your roommate.

00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:21,385

I'm sorry, !, uh...

00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:24,388

...I already have a roommate.

00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:27,725

Hello.

00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:35,942

Um, he's lived here for years.

I don't know what you're talking about.

00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:37,985

No, no. He's, uh....

00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:42,240

No, he moved out and ! moved in.

00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,701

Well, I think we'd remember

something like that.

00:20:45,869 --> 00:20:47,161

[JOEY SCOFFS]

00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,455

I know I would. Ha, ha.

00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:52,375

That's, uh, a good point. Um....

00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,043

Okay, wow. Huh.

00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,504

I guess I got the wrong apartment.

00:20:58,465 --> 00:20:59,548

Look, !'m--

00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:02,009

-I'm terribly sorry.

-Hey, no problem.

00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,386

See you.

00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:13,229

Goodbye, you fruit-drying psychopath.

00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:18,609

-You want me to help you unpack?

-Nah, I'm okay. Oh, and, uh....

00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:22,488

Just so you know, I'm not

moving back in because ! have to.

00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:25,408

I mean, I do have to, but....

00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:28,786

It's just that that place,

it wasn't really....

00:21:29,037 --> 00:21:30,788

I mean, this is....

00:21:32,165 --> 00:21:33,708

Welcome home, man.

00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:43,009

[GlGGLES]

00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:45,678

- A little foos?

-Absolutely!

00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:50,057

What happened to the foosball?

00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:52,184

It's a cantaloupe.

00:21:57,399 --> 00:22:00,234

Are we gonna bring this out

every time Ross comes over?

00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:01,986

He paid a lot of money for it.

00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:03,696

[GRUNTS]

00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:11,037

-I'm gonna hold him a different way.

-All right.

00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:15,958

If you hated it so much,

why'd you buy it in the first place?

00:22:16,209 --> 00:22:20,046

Well, I had a whole ceramic-zoo thing

going over there.

00:22:20,213 --> 00:22:22,715

But without the other ones,

it looks tacky.

00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:27,219

Is he housetrained or will he leave

little bathroom tiles all over?

00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:29,221

Stay.

00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:32,058

Uh, stay!

00:22:32,559 --> 00:22:34,435

Good fake dog.

00:22:41,943 --> 00:22:43,944

[English - US - SDH]