Эпизод, где старый Йеллер умирает

00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:11,844

-What you guys doing?

-Monica's making us watch Old Yel/er.

00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:17,641

Why are you guys upset?

It's Old Yel/er. lt's a happy movie.

00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:20,310

-What?

-What are you talking about?

00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:22,771

Come on. Happy family gets a dog.

00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,565

Frontier fun!

00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:28,277

Pheebs, what about the end?

00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:31,613

Oh, when Yeller saves the family

from the wolf and everyone's happy?

00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:32,990

That's not the end.

00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:37,077

Yeah-huh. that's when my mother would

shut off the TV and say, "The end."

00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:40,581

What about when he has rabies?

00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,125

He doesn't have rabies.

He has babies.

00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,754

That's what my mom said.

00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:51,550

Uh, Phoebe, I don't think she'd want you

to see what's about to happen.

00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,178

Why? What's about to happen?

00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:56,180

I've never seen this part.

00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:59,391

Hey, Travis, what you doing

with that gun?

00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,852

[OLD YELLER GROWLlNG ON TV]

00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,145

Oh, no.

00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,606

No, no, Travis, put down the gun.

00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,567

No, no, he's your buddy.

He's your Yeller.

00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:10,235

No! The end! The end!

00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,154

[GUNSHOT ON TV]

00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:16,992

Okay, what kind of a sick

doggy snuff film is this?

00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:11,505

Have you guys eaten? Uh, Richard and !

just finished, and we've got leftovers.

00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,799

Chicken and potatoes.

00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,718

What am I wearing?

00:02:17,762 --> 00:02:19,847

Actually, nothing but rubber gloves.

00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:29,398

One of these times, you'll really

be naked and we won't come over.

00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:32,276

I got a leg, three breasts

and a wing.

00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:35,404

How do you find clothes that fit?

00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,740

Oh, hey, Monica? We got a question.

00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:42,327

All right, yes, I see other women

in the shower at the gym.

00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:43,996

And no, ! don't look.

00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:46,206

No, not that one.

00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:49,334

We're figuring out who to bring

to the Knicks game.

00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:52,796

Ross can't go, so it's between my friend

Eric Prower, who has breath issues...

00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,423

[JOEY GROANS]

00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:57,551

...and Dan, with the poking.

"Did you see that play?"

00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:00,888

"You want more beer?

Is that Spike Lee?"

00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:03,265

Ha, ha, okay.

00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,976

Why don't you ask Richard?

00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:10,147

Uh, Richard, if you had an extra

ticket to the Knicks game...

00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:16,111

...and you had to choose between

a friend who smelled...

00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:20,032

...and one who bruises you,

who would you pick?

00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:21,491

Wow.

00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,493

Being a huge Knicks fan myself...

00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:27,748

...I think you should take someone

who's a huge Knicks fan.

00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,666

Okay.

00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:31,418

That's Eric.

00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,838

Glad to be of help. Matches.

00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,550

I meant, why don't you

take Richard to the game?

00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,302

CHANDLER & JOEY:

Eh.

00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:41,887

What?

00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,890

-I don't know.

-Come on!

00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:49,561

He keeps his fingers to himself,

and he's always minty fresh.

00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:53,315

Richard's really nice.

Uh, we just don't know him really well.

00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:55,234

Plus, he's old--

00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,988

--er than some people.

00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:03,075

But, uh, younger than some buildings.

00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,704

So what, he's a little older.

Big deal.

00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,498

He's important to me.

00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:12,626

If you ask him,

he might take you in his Jag.

00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:18,590

How do we say yes...

00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:21,593

...and make it seem like it's not

just to ride in the cool car?

00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,264

Okay, this could be tough.

00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:28,225

Okay, okay, okay. Monica?

00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:31,895

We'll bring him,

but only if he takes the Jaguar.

00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:36,275

Ooh, you almost had it.

00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:42,572

[ROSS SN!FFS]

00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,866

No, no, you're fine. You're fine.

00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,994

-Hello, ha, ha.

-Hey.

00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:48,829

Hi, honey. Oh.

00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:51,498

You are not gonna believe

what happened!

00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:54,876

We were playing on the floor,

and he grabs the table...

00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,087

...and he pulls himself up!

00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:00,674

He pulled himself up!

00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:02,384

Standing man!

00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:07,264

I'm sorry you missed it,

but I did tape it if you wanna see it.

00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:10,392

Uh, we know.

He already did it last week.

00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,728

You can watch our tape if you want.

00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:17,316

Ah, see, I don't believe this.

I missed the first time of everything.

00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:20,736

The first time he rolled over,

the first time he crawled.

00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,280

What else? Has he spoken?

Is he driving?

00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:26,158

Does he have a favorite liqueur?

00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,827

He is getting closer

on the talking thing.

00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:32,372

He can't quite say "mama" yet,

but once he said "Yemen."

00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:36,376

See, I don't know.

I'm so sick of missing stuff.

00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:40,172

I want him for more than a day.

I want him for a whole weekend.

00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,423

Listen. ! feel--

00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,008

That would be great.

00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,680

Really? ! had a whole speech prepared.

00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,974

Oh, shoot, that would've been fun.

00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:53,685

[BEN GROANS]

00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,395

Oh, look, did you just see that?

00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:58,190

Did you see? He just waved!

He just waved!

00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,692

He's never waved before!

00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,153

Yes, he has. Very good.

00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:08,325

-Hey.

-Hey, Pheebs. What you got there?

00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:12,454

Love Story, Brian's Song and

Terms of Endearment.

00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,332

Wow, all you need now

is The Killing Fields...

00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,126

...and some guacamole,

and you got yourself a party!

00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:22,464

I talked to my grandma

about the Old Yel/er incident...

00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:26,468

...and she said my mom used to not

show us the ends of sad movies...

00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:29,388

...to shield us from

the pain and sadness.

00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:32,182

You know, before she killed herself.

00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,852

-Hey.

-Hey.

00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:38,230

Where's Richard?

Did you ditch him?

00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:41,483

After we stole his lunch money

and gave him a wedgie.

00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:45,278

What's the matter with you?

He's parking the car.

00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:49,991

-Did you guys have fun?

-Your boyfriend is so cool.

00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:54,204

He let us drive his Jaguar.

Joey for 1 2 blocks. Me for 1 5.

00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:55,914

RACHEL:

Wow.

00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,582

He must like you best.

00:06:58,292 --> 00:07:01,586

Oh, what about when he tipped the guy

who showed us to our seats?

00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,713

You never even saw the money.

00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:06,675

Hey, Chandler, thanks for

showing us to our seats.

00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:10,804

Ha, ha, you're welcome.

Hey, Joey, thanks for parking the car.

00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:12,681

No problem, ha, ha.

00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,184

-Hey, Chandler--

-I think they get it.

00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,021

CHANDLER:

There's the man!

00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:21,982

Hey.

00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,900

-Hey, you're getting better.

-Huh? Ha, ha.

00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,111

I'm gonna keep this.

00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,071

Okay.

00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:29,322

He kept my dollar.

00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:38,165

Your first weekend without Ben.

What are you doing?

00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:40,292

Ah, we're going to

colonial Williamsburg.

00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:44,963

A woman I went to college with is

the first female blacksmith there.

00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:48,383

They're a little behind the times

in colonial Williamsburg.

00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:52,095

Ha, ha. Well, look, ! better go

before Mommy starts weeping.

00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:55,265

SUSAN: We love you.

-Bye, Mommy.

00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:57,309

ROSS:

Have a good time.

00:07:58,186 --> 00:07:59,436

Okay, Ben.

00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:00,687

-Ross.

-Yeah?

00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:01,938

Look.

00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:11,656

Joey, do you know

we can see you from here?

00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,785

How come Richard looks cooler

with one of these?

00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:18,914

You may wanna light it

and lose the spatula.

00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,710

It's cute, you trying

to be more like Richard.

00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,670

Not like him, per se.

00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:28,048

Just not unlike him.

00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,810

It's the artist formerly known

as Chandler.

00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:45,232

I'm just trying something here,

you know?

00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:47,150

Why didn't you grow a mustache?

00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:48,527

Oh, we flipped for it.

00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,570

I got the cigar,

he got the mustache.

00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:53,865

If we both grew them,

we'd look like dorks.

00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,283

[LAUGHlNG]

00:08:55,576 --> 00:08:58,203

You really sidestepped

that land mine.

00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:01,540

I promised Richard

we'd meet downstairs.

00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:02,791

You're meeting Richard?

00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:04,668

-Ranger game.

-Didn't he tell you?

00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:08,213

He said he was going out with the guys.

I didn't know that was you.

00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,589

You hear that?

00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,759

-We're the guys!

-We're the guys!

00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:15,512

With that mustache,

he reminds me of Aunt Sylvia.

00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:17,013

Thank you!

00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,567

-Hi, we're visiting.

-Yay.

00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:31,778

It's Ben and his dada.

00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:34,114

Dada.

00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:36,992

-Can you say "dada"?

-Aw.

00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:40,287

I'm telling your mommies you said it,

so you might as well.

00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:42,080

-No luck, huh?

-No.

00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,541

A while ago,

I got a "seh" out of him...

00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:49,671

...which I thought might turn into

"seh-condary caregiver," but....

00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:55,385

Would you, uh, hold him for a sec?

I gotta take this off.

00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,471

-Oh, yeah, sure, okay.

-There we go.

00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,520

What are you doing?

00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,647

I'm holding Ben.

00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:11,568

Yeah, well, he's a baby, not a bomb.

00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:13,612

Okay.

00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:15,572

Hold him like you'd hold a football.

00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:18,617

This is how I would hold a football.

00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:21,036

Here. Here. There we go.

00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:25,582

Sorry, !'m not very good with babies.

I haven't been around them.

00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:27,917

-I mean, you know, since ! was one.

-Ha, ha.

00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:30,962

-It's all right. No big deal.

-Really?

00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:34,049

You'll feel different

when it's our baby.

00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:35,967

-What?

-What?

00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,678

You think about stuff like that?

00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:41,598

Uh, yeah. ! mean....

00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:46,186

Actually, I kind of think

that we'll have two babies.

00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,981

Two babies?

00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,233

You know, a boy and a girl.

00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:55,820

Hopefully, the girl will come first,

so Ben won't feel competitive.

00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,490

[STAMMER!NG]

00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,408

Then what's gonna happen?

00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:04,663

We won't wanna raise kids in the city,

so we'll move to Scarsdale.

00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,414

Scar-- Uh-huh.

00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:10,043

We'll be far enough from our parents

so we don't have to see them...

00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:12,671

...but close enough

that they can babysit.

00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:17,092

And yes, I know the taxes are

a little higher than Nassau County...

00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,344

...but the school system's great.

00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:22,055

Wow! Ha, ha.

00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,891

Wow, that's great! Great!

00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,727

-Okay, wow! You know what?

ROSS: Hmm?

00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:30,605

I'm off my break now. So, uh....

00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,732

Um, here. You take this.

00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,901

And, um....

00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:38,154

I'm gonna go pour these

very nice people some coffee.

00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:39,447

Okay.

00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:41,658

Look at that. I don't have a pot.

00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:44,285

I don't have a pot.

Maybe I've got one at home.

00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,871

Or in Scarsdale.

Hey, is that a door?

00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,623

Rach.

00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:55,088

-Hey.

-Hey, Pheebs. What's happening?

00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:59,551

Oh, okay, murder, cancer, soccer teams

eating each other in the Andes.

00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:03,263

-You watched the movies?

PHOEBE: Uh-huh.

00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:06,099

What is happening to the world?

00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,477

I mean....

No, no, because E.T. leaves...

00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,355

...and Rocky loses. Charlotte dies.

00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,065

Charlotte who?

00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:15,608

With the web. The spider.

00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:17,986

She dies. She has babies and dies.

00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:21,281

It's like, "Welcome home

from the hospital." Thud!

00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,033

You wanna feel better?

00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:26,619

PHOEBE: Yeah.

-Okay.

00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:29,873

Here. Watch this.

00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,709

lt's a Wonderful Life.

Yes, !'ve heard of this.

00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,503

So you can't lose.

It's there in the title.

00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,422

Wonderfulness is baked right in.

00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:40,091

I fell for that with

Pride of the Yankees.

00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,385

I thought I'd see a film

about Yankee pride.

00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,722

And boom! The guy gets

Lou Gehrig's disease.

00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:51,728

Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig.

Didn't you kind of see it coming?

00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,357

Watch that. lt'll restore

all your faith in humanity.

00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,235

Hey, big guy. Game time.

00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:02,280

-Hey! Be right there!

-There's a game?

00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:05,617

I just got my Pik-Up Stiks

back from the shop.

00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,745

Bring your nerves of steel.

00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:13,041

It's the basketball playoffs.

00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:17,754

Um, ! appreciate this, but you don't

have to hang out with them for me.

00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:19,464

They have each other.

00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,841

Oh, no, honey. ! mean, don't worry.

00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:25,970

I like hanging out with them.

They're different than my other friends.

00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:30,225

They don't start sentences with "You

know who just died shoveling snow?"

00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:33,645

All right, that's great.

Then just go.

00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:35,480

Go Knicks!

00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,941

-Uh, it's the college playoffs.

MONICA: Oh.

00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,527

-Then, go Vassar!

-Uh, they're not in it.

00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:43,571

-Okay, then just go.

-Okay.

00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:46,658

Ugh, why does this bother me

so much?

00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:51,704

I'm not one of those people who wants

to spend 24 hours a day together.

00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,164

Sure.

00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:56,501

He just doesn't have much free time.

What do I do?

00:13:56,669 --> 00:14:00,630

Does it matter? You'll just die

or divorce or blow your pet's head off.

00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,718

-Ugh!

-Me too!

00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:09,347

Rachel, I got a question. Richard

made plans again with the guys--

00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,474

Ross made plans for the century.

00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:15,645

I'm gonna go read Cosmo.

Maybe there's something helpful in it.

00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:20,608

If not, I can learn how to do a bikini

wax with leftover Christmas candles.

00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:23,528

Okay.

00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,530

What happened back there?

00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,532

RACHEL:

I don't know. You tell me.

00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:30,493

One minute I'm holding Ben,

then !'ve got two kids...

00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,663

...I'm living in Scarsdale

complaining about taxes!

00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:36,499

Well, I'm sorry.

I think about stuff.

00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:40,545

You're at work, you're assembling bones,

your mind wanders.

00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:44,382

You've planned out the next 20 years.

We've dated for six weeks!

00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,467

You never think about our future?

00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:49,762

I think about whose apartment

we'll sleep at tomorrow...

00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:52,098

...and where we'll have dinner

next Saturday!

00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,851

I do not think about

our children's names!

00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:58,813

You know what our

children's names will be?

00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,481

Ha, ha, no.

00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:04,277

No, I mean, you know. I read a book,

and there was a girl named Emily.

00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:06,696

And I thought that might be good.

00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:09,574

What was the book?

00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:12,702

The Big Book of Children's Names.

00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,163

Okay. Ross, Ross.

00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:16,497

Okay, listen.

00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,166

What we have is amazing.

00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:21,252

But ! do not want

everything decided for me!

00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,046

I spent my whole life like that.

00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,924

It's what I had with Barry.

That's a reason ! left.

00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,092

I like not knowing right now.

00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:32,305

Sorry if that scares you, but if you

wanna be with me, deal with that!

00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:34,265

-Okay, fine!

-Thank you!

00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,809

-We're not done!

-I didn't know that.

00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:41,356

You're with a guy who won't stop

planning his future with you.

00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:43,399

He knows we'll end up together.

00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:46,819

If that scares you, tough!

You'll have to deal with that.

00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:48,988

-I will!

-Good, because I love you!

00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:50,740

Oh, yeah? ! love you too!

00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:53,159

-That's the first time we've said that!

-Yes.

00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:55,828

-I'm gonna kiss you!

-You better!

00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,586

-Hey.

-Hey.

00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,338

Oh, thanks for the great movie tip.

00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,423

-Did you like it?

-Oh, yeah.

00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:11,177

I don't know if I was happier when

George Bailey destroyed the business...

00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:15,264

...or, um, Donna Reed cried or when

the pharmacist made his ear bleed.

00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:19,978

I'll give you the ear thing,

but wasn't the ending wonderful?

00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:22,313

I didn't watch it.

I was too depressed.

00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,816

It kept getting worse!

It should've been called:

00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:29,362

"lt's a Sucky Life, And Just When You

Think It Can't Suck Anymore, lt Does!"

00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:31,948

[DOOR SLAMS]

00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:33,533

Kick, save! And...

00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:35,034

...denied!

00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:39,706

He gets it back.

Pass to the middle, lines it up and bam!

00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:40,957

Yes!

00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:44,293

Could that shot be any prettier?

00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:46,504

Man, you are incredible.

00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,464

We had a table in college.

00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:50,967

Oh, really? I didn't know they had

foosball in the 1 800s.

00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:52,593

[JOEY CHUCKLES]

00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:55,847

Nice mustache. At puberty,

that thing will really kick in.

00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:04,480

Not to sound too Florence Henderson,

but dinner's on the table.

00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:05,815

One more point.

00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:10,069

MONICA:

Score!

00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:13,197

-Now can we go?

-Uh--

00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:15,908

That's why we don't let her play.

00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,955

-Is everything all right?

-Mm-hm.

00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,206

Uh-oh.

00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,709

Oh, hey, don't be mad at him.

It's our fault.

00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,878

I'm sorry we've been hogging his time.

00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:29,213

He's just really great

to hang out with.

00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:30,631

-Well....

JOEY: No, seriously.

00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:34,343

We just talked about this.

He is so much cooler than our dads.

00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,515

Our dads are okay and all,

but Richard is just--

00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:41,893

Ow, ow, ow.

What are you kicking me for?

00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:45,980

Huh? I'm trying to talk here.

00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:50,359

Uh, you guys see me as a dad?

00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,320

-Oh, yeah.

-No!

00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:54,697

No.

00:17:56,116 --> 00:18:00,244

You're just clearly not familiar

with our young persons' vernacular.

00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:03,831

When we say "dad," we mean "buddy."

00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:06,542

-We mean "pal."

-Uh-huh, yeah.

00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:09,337

No, seriously. Joey's my dad.

00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,130

[CHANDLER CLEARS THROAT]

00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:14,092

Monica's my dad.

00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:17,345

I've even got some dads down at work.

00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:18,805

That's fine.

00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:23,309

Well, your other dad and I are gonna

go have a romantic evening.

00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,603

I'll just see you kids around.

00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,146

Nighty-night.

00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:30,233

CHANDLER: You're not a dad!

-You're not a dad!

00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,652

I can't believe you got us

into trouble.

00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:37,490

[SCOFFS]

00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:39,742

So are you okay?

00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:41,911

Yeah.

00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:43,204

Just...

00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,832

...I feel like !'m about a hundred.

00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:49,168

I thought I was just one of the guys.

00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:50,962

Come here.

00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:54,048

I'll make you feel like

one of the guys.

00:18:58,303 --> 00:18:59,762

RlCHARD:

Mm.

00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,932

For a really cool guy,

you suck at foosball.

00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:05,852

I was killing them.

00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:08,271

-Yeah, well they suck too.

-Ha, ha.

00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:10,857

MONICA:

Hmm.

00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:15,027

You take the poopy diaper

and put it in the poopy diaper pail.

00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:19,365

Calling it a "poopy diaper"

doesn't make this process any cuter.

00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:22,410

[!NTERCOM BUZZES]

00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,162

-Hello.

CAROL: It's us.

00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:25,413

ROSS:

Come on up.

00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,206

I'll get his stuff together.

00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:30,418

Okay, we can do this now,

can't we, Ben?

00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,921

Yes, we can.

00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,884

There! I did it!

00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:39,886

Ha, ha, I did it!

00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:42,597

Ooh, look at that!

00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:45,808

Oh, it stays on and everything.

00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,727

-Hi.

BEN: Hi.

00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:56,485

I'm sorry. What did you just say?

Did you just say "hi"?

00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:59,530

Oh, my God! Ross?

Ben just said hi!

00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,073

-What?

-Ben just said hi!

00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:02,783

What, the word "hi"?

00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:04,785

No, my Uncle Hi.

00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,748

Great! And I missed that too.

I miss everything!

00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:12,043

Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I just

bring it out in him.

00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,586

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,880

-Where is he?

-We missed you.

00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:19,634

We missed you so much!

Come here, Ben, ha, ha.

00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:22,303

Guess what?

Ben just said his first word.

00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:24,347

BOTH [IN UNlSON]:

What did he say?

00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:26,057

Something about hi.

00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:27,350

[LAUGHlNG]

00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:30,603

-That's so exciting!

-Mommy's so proud of you!

00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:33,022

Hi. Hi?

00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,316

You know, actually,

it's more like, hi!

00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,902

-Hi?

-Hi.

00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,780

-Hi.

-Hi.

00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:42,698

This could go on for a while.

00:20:42,866 --> 00:20:44,867

You're right.

We've got a cab waiting.

00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,869

Well, this was fun.

00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:49,997

We should do it again sometime, Ben.

What do you say?

00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,249

Okay.

00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:54,085

-All right, so !'ve got him...?

-Tuesday.

00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,419

Bye, you guys.

00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:57,296

SUSAN: Take care.

-Bye, Ben.

00:20:57,464 --> 00:20:59,382

BEN:

Bye.

00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:03,761

Did he just say "bye"?

00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,096

He said bye!

00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:07,306

You said-- He said bye to me!

00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:09,433

-Yes, he did!

-Oh.

00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:12,270

Suddenly I'm seeing him

go off to college!

00:21:13,730 --> 00:21:16,315

We've gotta go.

We've got that cab downstairs.

00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:18,567

See you later.

00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:20,027

-Bye.

BEN: Bye.

00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:21,320

-Oh!

-Ha, ha.

00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:25,491

-Bye.

BEN: Bye.

00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:27,535

Bye.

00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:29,078

Oh.

00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:40,298

Wow. Look at this nice deep hole I dug.

Hey, Bert...

00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:42,091

...isn't this a nice hole here?

00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:43,342

PHOEBE:

Okay, ahem.

00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:48,055

Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries

Bert in the sand and can't find him.

00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:53,769

Now, I've looked ahead on the tape,

and he does find him again.

00:21:54,896 --> 00:21:58,524

But before that happens,

there's some rough going for a while.

00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:00,818

But ! think we can handle it.

00:22:01,069 --> 00:22:06,198

And there's just the alphabet,

but we know that ends well, so....

00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:07,742

Here we go.

00:22:07,951 --> 00:22:09,327

Bert? Bert?

00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:11,203

Bert?

00:22:11,371 --> 00:22:14,999

What happened to my friend Bert?

He was here just a moment ago.

00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,293

Oh, no! My old friend Bert is lost.

00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:19,545

-Mm.

-I'm so glad you're here.

00:22:28,096 --> 00:22:30,097

[English - US - SDH]