Эпизод, где никто не готов

00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:07,256

...and what looks like cider.

00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:08,799

Taste it.

00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:14,930

Yeah, it's fat.

00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:16,473

I drank fat!

00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:20,269

I know, I did that two minutes ago.

00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:23,939

Hey.

00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,607

Hey, Mr. Tux.

00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,444

- Why aren't you dressed?

- We have a half-hour.

00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,822

That was four minutes ago.

We have to be out the door at 20 to 8.

00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:35,576

Relax, we'll be ready. It takes us

two minutes to get dressed.

00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,995

I'd feel better if you

got dressed now.

00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:39,913

- Okay.

- Okay.

00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:43,709

Hey!

00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,794

Oh, look at you, all sexy.

00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,087

Really?

00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:50,007

Wow!

00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:52,051

- Hi.

- Hi.

00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:57,181

- How come you didn't come over earlier?

- Because I'm a stupid, stupid man.

00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,476

Hey, Ross, want some cider?

00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:01,769

No.

00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,897

So you're pretty close, huh?

00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:06,940

Makeup's on. Hair's done.

00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,567

I just have to get dressed.

00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:11,612

And that takes, what?

Just 6 or 7 minutes?

00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:14,239

Yeah. Once I figure out

what I'm wearing.

00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,202

Glass of fat?

00:01:19,996 --> 00:01:22,164

The One Where No One's Ready

00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:11,046

What's the matter?

You nervous about your speech?

00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:12,673

Nope.

00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,135

- You wanna hear it?

- Am I in it?

00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,221

Uh-huh.

00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:23,976

After I thank everyone

for donating to the museum...

00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,979

...I sing a song about the wonder

that is Joey.

00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:29,857

- Hello.

ROSS: Hey.

00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:31,066

JOEY:

Whoa!

00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:32,693

ROSS:

Hello! You look great!

00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,070

Thank you. I know, though.

00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:40,534

You see this? This is a person

who is ready to go.

00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:41,952

Phoebe, you...

00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:43,579

You are my star.

00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:46,915

Aw. Well, you're my lucky penny.

00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:55,007

All right, I took the quiz, and it

turns out I do put career before men.

00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:58,802

Get up.

00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,262

What?

00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,223

- You're in my seat.

- How is this your seat?

00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:07,936

I was sitting there.

00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:09,605

But then you left.

00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,733

Well, it's not like I went to Spain.

00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,903

I went to the bathroom.

You knew I'd be back.

00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:17,946

What's the big deal?

Sit somewhere else!

00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:21,700

The "big deal" is, I was sitting

there last! So...

00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:23,243

...it's my seat.

00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:27,956

Well, actually, the last place

you were sitting was in there, so...

00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:31,001

You guys, you know what?

It doesn't matter.

00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:35,797

You both have to go get dressed before

the big vein in my head pops.

00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,800

I just have to do one thing.

It's not a big deal.

00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:40,219

Get up!

00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,055

- Hi.

PHOEBE: Hey.

00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,515

Ooh. Phoebe, you look great!

00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,976

All right already.

00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,771

Ooh. Are you gonna do magic?

00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:55,067

That's funny. Change.

00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,152

- Hang on, I just got in.

- I don't care.

00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:59,238

It starts at 8.

We can't be late.

00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:02,324

"He could not, would not,

want to wait."

00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,827

Our table is down in front.

My boss will be there.

00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,455

Everyone will see if we arrive

after it starts.

00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,666

Has somebody been drinking my fat?

00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:16,004

Does this look like something a

paleontologist's girlfriend would wear?

00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,840

I don't know.

You might be the first one.

00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:22,344

- Rach, did you check the machine?

RACHEL: No.

00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:26,682

Wait. This is the outfit that makes

my calves look fat. Never mind.

00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:33,438

Well, Joey, I wrote

a little song today.

00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:35,190

It's called, "Get up!"

00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:39,111

All right. You can have the chair.

00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,531

- Really?

- Oh, my. Would you look at that?

00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,116

[LAUGHING]

00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,368

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,161

PHOEBE [ON RECORDING]:

I'm coming over.

00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,998

What if I'm already there

when you play this message?

00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,125

Is that too spooky?

00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,002

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:57,671

ROSS: Hi, Rach, are you there?

It's me. Pick up.

00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,881

Rachel? Rach?

00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,633

What?

00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,177

Never mind.

00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:06,388

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS TWICE]

00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,057

RICHARD:

Monica, it's Richard. Call me.

00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,229

Is that message old or new?

00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,357

Old or new? Old or new?

00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:20,402

It's definitely old.

Didn't you hear the double beep?

00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,071

What if it's new?

We agreed not to talk.

00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:26,074

It could be important.

Shouldn't I call him back?

00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,702

Honey, you did call him back.

It's old.

00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:30,996

Yeah, see, Mon, listen. Listen.

00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:33,332

When Carol and I broke up...

00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,626

...I went through the same thing.

You know what I did?

00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,837

I got dressed.

00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:44,343

Really, really quickly, okay? Okay?

00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,595

There we go. There we go.

00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,765

You know what? Don't get up.

Just sit there.

00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:53,101

I just hope you don't mind

my hand right here.

00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:57,731

Not touching. Can't get mad!

Not touching. Can't get mad!

00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:00,108

Not touching. Can't get mad!

00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,736

PHOEBE:

Oh! Oh, my God!

00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,613

You rotten boys!

00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,033

- Sorry, Phoebe.

- What am I gonna do?

00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:10,118

Don't rub it!

What gets out hummus?

00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,037

What gets out hummus?

00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,581

PHOEBE: Monica!

What gets out hummus?

00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:18,960

If it is a new message,

what is he calling to say?

00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:22,047

Okay, thanks. Yeah, I'll try that.

00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,801

Maybe he called to say

you're obsessive and crazy?

00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,303

- So should I call him back?

- [IN UNISON] No!

00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:30,722

[IN UNISON]

No!

00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,811

- Fine, we'll both sit in the chair.

- Fine with me.

00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:42,067

I am so comfortable.

00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:44,319

JOEY:

Me too.

00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:48,198

In fact, I think I might be

a little too comfortable.

00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:55,914

Okay, we have 19 minutes.

I want you to go and change.

00:06:56,165 --> 00:07:00,335

When you come back, Joey will go change,

and he'll have vacated the chair.

00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:01,837

- Okay.

- All right.

00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,630

Fine. I'm going.

00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:07,426

When I get back, it's Chair City.

And I'm the guy...

00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,344

...who's sitting in a chair!

00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:12,806

Is this a little too...?

00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:15,016

Pheebs? What happened?

00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,518

I got the hummus.

00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:20,772

Oh, honey, we'll find you something.

You wanna wear my black jacket?

00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,191

- It won't go with this dress.

- You're right.

00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:27,821

- Well, let's just get you out of that.

- No, no, no. Not out of that.

00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:30,949

- Not out of clothes.

- Can Phoebe borrow your green dress?

00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,159

I called him.

00:07:32,326 --> 00:07:33,452

[ALL GROAN]

00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:36,746

Yes. I got his machine

and I left a message.

00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,457

But it's okay. It's okay...

00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,877

...because it was, like,

a casual, breezy message.

00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,170

It was breezy.

00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:45,964

Oh, God, what if it wasn't breezy?

00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:50,552

How could it not be breezy? No,

because you're in such a breezy place.

00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:55,515

I got it. I'll play my message, and

you guys tell me if it's breezy enough.

00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,809

But how you gonna do that?

00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:00,896

I know the code

to his answering machine.

00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,690

Okay, Mon, I really don't think

this is the...

00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,651

Okay, you're dialing.

You are dialing.

00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:19,539

RICHARD: Hi, this is Richard.

Please leave a message at the tone.

00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,708

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,585

RECORDED VOICE:

You have two new messages.

00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,420

What a cool job.

00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,672

[AS RECORDED VOICE]

"You have two new messages."

00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,843

Please pass the pie.

00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,012

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,806

MONICA: Hi, it's Monica.

I'm just checking in.

00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:40,268

I got a message and didn't know

if it was old or new...

00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,521

...so I'm just checking.

00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,356

So let me know.

00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:45,941

Or don't. Whatever.

00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,776

I'm breezy!

00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:52,614

You can't say you're "breezy."

That negates the "breezy."

00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:54,741

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,869

WOMAN: Hola. It's me.

Yesterday was really fun.

00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:00,830

Call me about this weekend, okay?

00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:05,752

Now, she sounded breezy.

00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:13,134

He's seeing someone.

I can't believe he's seeing someone.

00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,971

- You don't know that.

- Well, whose voice was that?

00:09:16,138 --> 00:09:19,140

Maybe it was his sister's.

Maybe it was his daughter's.

00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:23,812

Michelle. Of course!

Did it sound like Michelle?

00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:28,483

Oh, great. It's starting to rain.

That'll make it easier to get a cab.

00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:30,485

It was Michelle.

00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,404

It was definitely Michelle.

00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:36,825

Try Monica's green dress. If it

doesn't fit, wear my gray silk one.

00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,661

- Unless I wear it.

- You don't know what you're wearing?

00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:42,497

I'm just trying to look nice

for your big night.

00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,375

Yeah, which we have to leave for

in 12 minutes.

00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,378

Come on, I'll just pick

something out for you.

00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,880

You'll notice that I'm fully dressed.

00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:54,509

I, in turn, have noticed

that you are not.

00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:59,556

So in the words of A.A. Milne,

"Get out of my chair, dill-hole."

00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,393

Okay.

00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:13,695

- What are you doing?

- You said to give you the chair.

00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:16,031

You didn't say anything about cushions.

00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:17,907

They're the essence

of the chair!

00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,785

That's right! I'm taking the essence.

00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,705

Oh, he'll be back.

00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:26,374

Oh, there's nobody in the room.

00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:30,670

- I'm sorry, I thought it looked pretty.

- That was a Halloween costume.

00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,215

Unless you would like me to go

as Little Bo Peep.

00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:37,385

I didn't recognize it

without that inflatable sheep.

00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:41,431

Yeah, which, by the way, Chandler,

I would like back one of these days.

00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,728

Rach, good! Listen, isn't this

perfect for me?

00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:49,272

Oh, it's perfect! But not for tonight.

00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:52,901

Of course not for tonight.

Hi. I'm going to a benefit.

00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:55,236

Not for tonight?

What are you doing?

00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:58,782

No, I'm sorry. We didn't mean it.

I love you. Breathe.

00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:03,203

We used them as pillows

when we went camping.

00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:04,412

What?

00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:06,581

The sheep.

00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,794

Hey, what you do on your own time...

00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,925

- Where's my underwear?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:20,595

- Come on, you took his underwear?

- He took my essence!

00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:25,642

Okay, hold on. Why can't you just wear

the underwear you're wearing now?

00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,520

Because I'm not wearing

any underwear now.

00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:32,107

Then why do you have

to wear underwear tonight?

00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,109

It's a rented tux, okay?

00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,654

I'm not gonna go "commando"

in another man's fatigues.

00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:43,451

Then somebody's gonna have

to give somebody back his cushions.

00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:48,456

Okay. You hide my clothes. I'm gonna

do the exact opposite to you.

00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,625

[SCOFFS]

00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,878

What, are you gonna show me my clothes?

00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,547

Hey, opposite...

00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,799

...is opposite.

00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,261

He's got nothing!

00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,680

Okay, I'm ready.

00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,056

[STAMMERING]

00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:12,147

Rachel didn't have anything I liked

but this ribbon.

00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:14,816

I thought, all right,

I'll be political.

00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,654

- What are you supporting?

- Christmas.

00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:26,161

Hey, that's okay with me. Two down,

and I have exactly 12 minutes...

00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:27,662

What?

00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:31,291

My watch stopped.

My watch. Okay, see...

00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:34,335

...the dinosaur tail

isn't going around anymore.

00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:37,589

What time is it? It's 7:33.

I have 7 minutes.

00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,007

I have seven minutes!

00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:42,177

Which shoes should I wear?

The black or the purple?

00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,888

- Just pick one, okay?

- Oh, okay, okay. The black.

00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,390

Do you have black

with little strappies?

00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:51,686

Yeah, but those go better with pants.

Maybe I should wear pants.

00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:56,816

Yeah, pants! What an idea!

Or better yet, go without pants.

00:12:57,026 --> 00:13:00,111

I don't know what you're doing

but just get in there...

00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,864

...and pick out any shoes

that fit your feet.

00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:06,534

I don't care if they match.

I don't care if they make...

00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:11,372

...your ankles or your knees or your

earlobes look fat. Just do it!

00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:14,250

Go in there, pick something out

so we can go.

00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,547

- All right.

- Thank you.

00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:24,093

I've got to call Michelle to see

if that was her voice.

00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,221

It was. It was her voice.

00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:29,557

Monica, I think you've gone over

to the bad place.

00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,396

MICHELLE:

Hola.

00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:38,066

Hello? Hello?

00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:42,487

- Okay. That was her, right?

- Definitely. Yeah.

00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:44,572

So there you go. Whew!

00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:48,076

We're out of the woods.

I think I'll get dressed now.

00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:49,452

[PHONE RINGS]

00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,412

- I'll get it.

MONICA: Okay.

00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,123

Hi, Monica and Rachel's.

00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,669

Yeah, just a second.

Can I ask who's calling?

00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,254

Ooh! It's Michelle! Ooh!

00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:05,426

She must have that "caller I.D." thing.

You should get that.

00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,472

Michelle?

00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:13,935

Yeah, that was me.

I dialed your number by mistake.

00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,311

Just try to be...

00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:18,773

You're so sweet.

00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,484

Yeah, we were a great couple.

00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,695

I know, I really miss him.

00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,906

Well, you know how it is.

It's just that...

00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,783

You know what's weird?

00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,787

Donald Duck never wore pants.

00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,124

But when he gets

out of the shower...

00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,960

...he always puts a towel

around his waist.

00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:43,923

I mean, what is that about?

00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:48,428

I only beeped in so I could

hear my own message.

00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:49,971

I mean, that's allowed.

00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:51,472

Yeah!

00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:57,061

I would really appreciate it if you

wouldn't tell your dad about...

00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,481

What do you mean, you don't feel

comfortable with this? We're friends!

00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,233

[DIAL TONE HUMMING]

00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,861

That bitch always hated me.

00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:08,573

- I'm calling her back.

- No, no, no! Tick, tick, tick.

00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,491

- Okay, fine.

- Okay.

00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:15,163

- She's got a phone in there, right?

- Okay, we're on it.

00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:26,007

Um, heh, heh...

00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:29,844

I know it says, "black tie optional"...

00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,764

...but this may be pushing it a little.

00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,849

I'm not gonna go.

00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,227

You're not gonna go?

00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:42,190

No, I think I'm gonna catch up

on my correspondence.

00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,527

How can you not be going?

00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:48,529

I'm not gonna go.

00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:52,533

So I think that will accomplish

the "not going."

00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:59,749

Um, you know, just out of curiosity...

00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:03,503

Ever since I was humiliated

and yelled at in front of my friends...

00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:08,132

...I'm just, I don't know, not in a

very museum benefit-y kind of mood.

00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:12,387

Right. Well, okay. Okay.

God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled.

00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:14,806

- That's fine.

- No, but you're mad.

00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,016

I'm not mad. I'm just not going.

00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,726

- Right.

- Okay.

00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:23,064

- You know that I have to go, right?

- Mm-hm.

00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:27,777

So is it gonna be like

I'm abandoning you while you're upset?

00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:28,987

- No.

- No?

00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:33,241

- You're not upset about the yelling.

- Right. And the humiliating.

00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:35,576

Well, of course, the humiliating.

00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:38,663

So we...

00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,415

...we're okay?

00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:42,625

- We're good.

- Right.

00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:48,256

- Honey? I love you.

- Yes, Ross.

00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:51,467

PHOEBE:

Get away from that phone!

00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:56,180

She's just getting dressed now.

00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:02,645

Is it wrong that I was

totally aroused by that?

00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:13,114

Okay, buddy boy, here it is.

00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:17,326

You hide my clothes.

I'm wearing everything you own.

00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,454

Oh, my God!

00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:24,792

That is so not the opposite

of taking somebody's underwear!

00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:26,627

Look at me! I'm Chandler.

00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,797

Could I be wearing any more clothes?

00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,676

Maybe if I wasn't going commando...

00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:36,345

[GROANS]

00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,100

It's hot with all this stuff on.

00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,895

I better not do any,

I don't know, lunges.

00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:48,983

Okay, enough.

Enough with the lunging.

00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,861

I'm sick of this.

I've had it up to here.

00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:54,614

Neither of you can come to the party!

00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,616

Jeez, what a baby!

00:17:57,659 --> 00:18:00,328

Way to ruin it.

I was just gonna go get dressed.

00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:02,997

The only person

I cared about getting dressed...

00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,666

...is the person who's

not even gonna go.

00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,752

Look, Rach, I'm sorry, okay?

00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:12,131

Look, I was a jerk, okay?

I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there.

00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:13,633

I need you there.

00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:19,222

What can I do to show you

how much I want you to be there?

00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:22,350

You could drink the fat.

00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:27,522

Welcome to an adult conversation.

00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,233

No, no, no.

Now wait a minute. Wait a minute.

00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:34,195

- That actually sounds interesting.

- What?

00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:36,572

I think you should drink the fat.

00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:38,407

Yay!

00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:46,958

Okay, if that's what it takes to

show you how much you mean to me...

00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,877

...and how much I want you there,

that's what I'll do.

00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:52,964

Let me get you another glass.

That's been sitting out.

00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,716

I think this will be fine.

00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,887

Okay, vanilla milkshake.

Just a vanilla milkshake...

00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,974

...with chicken bits floating in it.

00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,436

Cheers.

00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:10,314

No, don't! Okay, okay, I'll go.

I'll go.

00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:11,732

You will?

00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:14,569

You were really gonna do that?

00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:15,820

Well, yeah.

00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:18,906

You were gonna drink the fat.

00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:24,453

Let's see what else he'll do!

00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:29,125

How about you get changed?

Give him his underwear.

00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:32,628

I'll get a cab. I want everyone

downstairs in two minutes.

00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:33,963

Monica!

00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:35,590

CHANDLER:

Stop it.

00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:36,924

Stop it!

00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,097

PHOEBE:

Ross went to get a cab so we...

00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,933

What are you doing? No, Monica, no!

00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:49,103

[LINE RINGS]

00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,730

RICHARD:

Hi, this is Richard.

00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:55,109

RECORDED VOICE:

You have three new messages.

00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,737

Not anymore.

00:19:58,447 --> 00:19:59,947

RECORDED VOICE:

Message erased.

00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:06,120

To record your message,

begin speaking at the tone.

00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:07,455

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,624

Hi, Richard. It's Monica.

00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,835

Listen, I did something

kind of crazy tonight.

00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,963

Maybe I'm getting my period

or something. I don't know.

00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:20,301

Anyway, I beeped into your machine

and I heard this message...

00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:21,969

...that freaked me out...

00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:25,306

...and Michelle will tell you the rest.

00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:30,269

I'm sorry, okay? And I hope that we

can just forget the whole thing.

00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,022

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:36,776

RECORDED VOICE: Your outgoing

message has now been changed.

00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:38,903

Outgoing?

00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,363

Did that say outgoing?

00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:41,989

Not outgoing!

00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,078

MONICA:

Hi, Richard, it's Monica.

00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:50,289

Listen, I did something

kind of crazy tonight.

00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:53,167

Maybe I'm getting my period

or something. I don't know.

00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,836

- How did you do that?

- I don't know!

00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,172

RECORDED VOICE: Goodbye.

- No!

00:20:59,883 --> 00:21:00,925

Okay.

00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:05,388

Okay, I've got two cabs

and no people! Go, go, go!

00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:08,849

Maybe we can call the phone company

to change the message?

00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,393

They could change his number.

00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,729

I think after this,

he'll be doing that himself.

00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:16,732

ROSS:

Rachel!

00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:21,612

Wow!

00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:25,199

You...

You look...

00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:26,867

Wow!

00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:30,871

And I still have about

five seconds to spare.

00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,587

That was about 7 seconds.

00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:40,423

So we're a little late.

00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:42,425

Come on.

00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:45,261

Oh, and by the way...

00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:46,554

What?

00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:48,139

I'm going commando too.

00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,849

[GROANS]

00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:00,735

WHITFIELD:

Dr. Geller?

00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:04,530

- Sherman Whitfield, London Institute.

- What a pleasure.

00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:09,618

I was quite impressed with your

paper on pre-Cretaceous fossils.

00:22:09,911 --> 00:22:12,121

Yes, it confirmed everything

I'd written.

00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:13,748

Excuse me.

00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:15,041

Hi.

00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:16,625

Yes?

00:22:16,918 --> 00:22:18,711

You're kind of sitting in my seat.

00:22:20,088 --> 00:22:21,714

What do you mean, your seat?

00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:25,217

- I mean, I was sitting there.

- But you got up.

00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:27,553

But I never left the room.

00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:30,639

But you left the chair area.

00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:35,019

All right, that's it.

Give me your underwear.

00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:44,487

[English - US - SDH]