Эпизод с Фрэнком-младшим

00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:07,631

Hey.

00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:11,427

So, what happened?

Did a forest tick you off?

00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:13,345

No.

00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,473

You know how we're always saying

we need a place for the mail.

00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:21,478

Yeah.

00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,188

Well, I started building one.

00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:27,067

But then I decided to take it

to the next step.

00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,571

You're building a post office?

00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:34,700

No, an entertainment unit,

with a mail cubby built right in.

00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:38,412

- It's a one-day job, max.

- Okay.

00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:42,041

My word, those are snug.

00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:46,086

Oh, yeah. These are my old work pants.

00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:48,464

Sergio Valente.

00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:00,809

Power saw kind of got away

from me there.

00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:54,363

- Hey, Pheebs.

PHOEBE: Hey.

00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:57,658

- Any sign of your brother?

- No, but he's always late, so...

00:01:57,826 --> 00:02:00,244

- I thought you only met him once.

- Yeah, I did.

00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:05,332

I think it sounds, you know, big sister-y,

"Frank's always late." So...

00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:08,001

Oh. Well, relax. He'll be here.

00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:10,754

- Yeah, no, I know. I'm just nervous.

RACHEL: Oh.

00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:14,133

You know, it's just, you know, Mom's dead,

don't talk to my sister...

00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,844

...Grandma's been sleeping

a lot lately.

00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:20,722

It's just the "last desperate chance

to have a family" kind of thing.

00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:23,392

- Mm.

- You're so sweet to wait with me.

00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:27,479

Well, actually, Gunther sent me.

You're not allowed to have cups out here.

00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:33,110

Does anyone else think

David Copperfield's cute?

00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:38,448

No, but he told me he thinks you're a fox.

00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,910

All right. Janice likes him.

00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:46,081

In fact, she likes him so much,

she put him on her, uh, freebie list.

00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:50,627

Her what?

00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:55,799

We have a deal where we each pick five

different celebrities we could sleep with...

00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:58,927

...and the other one can't get mad.

00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:02,306

Ah, the heart

of every healthy relationship:

00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:06,351

Honesty, respect,

and sex with celebrities.

00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,145

So, Chandler, who's on your list?

00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:09,938

Uh, Kim Basinger...

00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,399

...Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry...

00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,443

...Yasmine Bleeth...

- Oh.

00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,571

...and Jessica Rabbit.

00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:23,535

Ahem. Now, you do realize that she is

a cartoon and way out of your league?

00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:27,748

I know. I just always wondered if I could

get her eyes to pop out of her head.

00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:30,959

Hey, Monica, who would yours be?

00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:33,879

First I need a boyfriend.

Then I can have a list.

00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:36,798

It's just a game, Mon.

00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,135

Rach, how about you?

00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:44,556

Oh, I don't know. I guess Chris O'Donnell,

John F. Kennedy Jr...

00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:48,352

...Daniel Day-Lewis, Sting

and Parker Stevenson.

00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:51,855

Spider-Man?

00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:53,857

Hardy Boy.

00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:57,110

- Peter Parker.

- Thank you.

00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:59,863

What about you, honey?

Who'd be on your list?

00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:04,201

I... Oh, that kind of thing

requires some serious thought.

00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:07,704

First, I'll divide my prospective candidates

into categories.

00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,414

Ahem. What a geek.

00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:14,378

Everybody, this is Frank.

This is my half brother, Frank.

00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:15,921

- This is everybody.

ROSS: Hey.

00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,881

- This is Ross.

- Hi, how are you?

00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,132

- Chandler.

CHANDLER: Hi.

00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,509

- Hi.

- Joey.

00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,636

- Hey.

FRANK: Hi, hi, hi.

00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:25,389

PHOEBE: This is Monica.

- Whoa.

00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,475

- And this is Rachel.

- Hi.

00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,185

Whoa.

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I'm gonna get coffee for us.

00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:37,025

Hey, how do you guys

get anything done? Ha, ha.

00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:39,069

We don't, really.

00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,322

Well, so do you guys have big plans?

00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:46,410

Oh, yeah. We're gonna, like, connect and,

you know, bond and everything.

00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:51,373

I was thinking we could go down to

Times Square and pick up some ninja stars.

00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:55,585

Oh, um, my friend Larry,

he wants me to take a picture of a hooker.

00:04:57,171 --> 00:05:00,215

You know, we really don't take advantage

of living in the city.

00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:16,857

Oh, sorry. Did I get you?

00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:19,401

No, you didn't get me.

00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:22,904

It's an electric drill.

You get me, you kill me!

00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,283

Calm down.

Do you want this unit or not?

00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,036

I do not want this unit.

00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:32,205

Well, you should've told me before.

I'm not a mind reader.

00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,044

And we're out of beer.

Okay, I'm going to Monica's.

00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,338

CHANDLER:

Fine.

00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:48,972

Hey. Where you heading in those pants?

1982?

00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:51,767

Oh, Monica, listen...

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...I saw down at the hardware store

they got those designer tiles on sale...

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...if you wanna redo your bathroom floor.

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What's wrong with my bathroom floor?

00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:03,320

Nothing.

It's just old and dingy, that's all.

00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:07,491

- I highly doubt that.

- Oh, yeah?

00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:12,412

If you move your hamper,

you can see the color the tile used to be.

00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,748

- Ah!

- Yeah.

00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,710

I can't live like this.

What are we gonna do?

00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,504

Relax, relax. Here, hold this.

00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:23,632

This old stuff comes right up.

I'll show you.

00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,470

A little more than I wanted to see.

00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:31,223

[JOEY GRUNTS]

00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,393

Look at that.

Every inch of this is glued down.

00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:38,146

It'd take forever to pry this up.

You should, uh... You should just leave it.

00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:39,481

[MONICA SCOFFS]

00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:44,778

I can't leave it.

You gouged a hole in my dingy floor.

00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:46,238

Uh, oh.

00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:55,997

- Ah? There you go.

- Aw.

00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,416

Yeah, that's nice.

00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:01,378

You know, we can put it back there after

the surgeons remove it from your colon.

00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:10,679

Ooh, ooh!

00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:11,847

- What?

- Yeah.

00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:14,433

I know what I wanted to ask you.

Can you roll your tongue?

00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:18,186

Because I can and my mom couldn't.

00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:22,065

And I thought, you know... I figured that

was something I got from our dad.

00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:25,610

- Well, wait, you mean like this?

- Yeah.

00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,070

Yeah, you can do it too. Yeah.

00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:29,072

[CHUCKLING]

00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:30,532

You're not doing it.

00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:34,327

Oh, right, okay.

Yeah, my mom could and I can't.

00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,998

So we don't have that.

00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:46,089

- When's your birthday?

- February 16th.

00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:48,758

I know a guy who's the 18th.

00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,637

That's close.

00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:57,184

- When's yours?

- October 25th.

00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:03,940

That's the same month as Halloween.

00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,067

Yeah.

00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:11,281

So, what kind of things

do you like to do at home?

00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:13,617

Melt stuff.

00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:21,666

- Okay, I've got three of my five.

- Three of your five what?

00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:25,128

Celebrities I'm allowed to sleep with.

00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:27,506

God, you are giving this a lot of thought.

00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:30,300

Hey, it's hard, okay?

I only have two spots left.

00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,135

All right.

Who you got it narrowed down to?

00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,930

Okay. Ahem. Elizabeth Hurley.

00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:37,098

- Ooh, very attractive.

- Yeah.

00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,934

Forgiving.

00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:42,854

Susan Sarandon.

00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,650

Eh, you know what? She's too political.

00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:51,321

She probably wouldn't let you do it

unless you donated four cans of food first.

00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,116

And Isabella Rossellini.

00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:57,077

- Ooh.

- Ooh. Very hot. Very sexy.

00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:01,998

But, uh, you know, she's too international.

She's never gonna be around.

00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,876

- So?

- So you gotta play the odds.

00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:08,338

Pick somebody who's gonna be

in the country, like, all the time.

00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:12,592

Yeah. Because that's why you won't

get Isabella Rossellini. Geography.

00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:26,815

Okay, so by "melting,"

you meant melting.

00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:28,817

Yeah.

00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:32,195

- So is it, like, art?

- Yeah, you can melt art.

00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:36,950

- Hey, can I use your phone?

- Mm.

00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:41,538

- Yeah, sure. You wanna call your mom?

- No, I wanna melt it.

00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:44,791

Oh. Well, um, not right now.

00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:47,210

[PHOEBE CHUCKLES]

00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:54,884

You know what? I'm just gonna go to bed.

The fumes are giving me a headache. So...

00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:58,096

Yeah. Yeah. Ha, ha.

00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,975

Good night, bro.

00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,685

Good night.

00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,774

Here.

00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,901

Just in case.

00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:14,321

Oh, excellent.

00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,868

[FRANK SHOUTING]

00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:30,170

- What kind of karate is that?

- No kind.

00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,715

- He just makes it up.

- Hmm.

00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:37,636

- So how's it going with you guys?

- So far it kind of blows.

00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:45,185

I don't know, I just thought, you know,

that he'd feel more like a brother.

00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:47,812

Like you and Ross.

Just close and connected and...

00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,482

Oh. We're close now,

but you wouldn't believe the years...

00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:55,612

...of noogies and wedgies and

flying wedgies and atomic wedgies and...

00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:59,824

That's when the waistband

actually goes over your head.

00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:01,910

Ah.

00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:05,121

We drove each other crazy

playing the shadow game.

00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:08,249

- How do you play the shadow game?

- How do you play the shadow game?

00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:10,627

- I just asked you.

- I just asked you.

00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,921

I don't have time for this.

00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:16,758

- No, that is what the game is.

- Well, you just gave up really quickly.

00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,262

- Have you seen Joey?

- What's the matter?

00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,932

Oh, just this.

00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:33,316

It's my fault, really, because the couch

is where we usually keep the varnish.

00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,529

JOEY: Hey, somebody wanna hand me

one of those tiles?

00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:42,701

- What's going on?

- He's retiling my floor.

00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,954

Yo, spackle boy.

00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,624

- Get up.

- Ah-ah. You started this, you will finish it.

00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,626

He started mine first.

00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,754

Build the unit, Cinderellie.

Lay the tile, Cinderellie.

00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:59,634

FRANK:

Whoa.

00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:02,178

Big octopus.

00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,598

Yeah.

00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:08,893

[PHONE RINGS]

00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,353

Hello?

00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:13,398

Oh, my God. I totally forgot.

00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,984

Well, can't someone else do it?

00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:18,445

But I have company.

00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:24,492

Yeah, no, look, that's all right.

I'll come in. Okay.

00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,662

Um, I'm really sorry,

but I have to go into work.

00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:31,458

It's one of my regulars.

He's insisting that I do him, so...

00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:34,002

- Hey, what kind of work do you do?

- Oh.

00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:37,881

I'm a masseuse.

I give people massages and stuff.

00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:41,968

You work at one of

those massage parlors?

00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:46,347

Well, you know, we don't call it that.

But, yeah.

00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,392

[LAUGHING]

00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,686

Whoa, that's wild.

00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:53,855

No, I had no idea. Ha-ha-ha.

00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,857

Alrighty. Heh.

00:12:56,859 --> 00:13:00,612

I'll be back in a little bit.

Unless you wanna come with me.

00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,697

You mean, like, watch?

00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:07,327

No. No, you can get one yourself.

It'll be on the house.

00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:10,038

You know, what are big sisters for?

Ha, ha.

00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:13,541

Well, I don't think this. You know?

00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:15,835

No, no, no. I wouldn't do you myself.

00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:17,837

I mean, that would be weird.

00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:21,174

Yeah. I'll get one of the other girls

to do it.

00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:25,178

Ooh, this is so much fun. Yay! Ha, ha.

00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:27,430

- Are you excited?

- Yeah.

00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:32,227

Hey, do Monica and Rachel work there?

00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:36,356

It's beautiful.

00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:40,235

It's like the first bathroom floor

there ever was.

00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:41,736

Whoa.

00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:44,239

What are you going in there for?

00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:46,407

You want, like, a number?

00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,539

- Hey.

- Hi. Bye.

00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:56,459

Okay. I'm done with my choices.

00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,920

These are final.

00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:03,007

- Well, it's about time.

- Yeah. Very official.

00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:07,554

Oh, yeah. Well, you know,

Chandler printed it up on his computer.

00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:09,097

And who laminated it?

00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,184

That was me.

00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,436

All right, let me see. Ahem.

00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:19,482

"Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder,

Elizabeth Hurley...

00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,025

...Michelle Pfeiffer...

00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,903

...Dorothy Hamill"?

00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,703

Hey, it's my list.

00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:34,831

Okay, honey, you do realize

she only spins like that on ice?

00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:36,541

[MONICA LAUGHS]

00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:42,005

Ow, ow, ow.

00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:44,966

PHOEBE: Oh. What? Whoa.

- Ow, you know? Ow.

00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,635

- Hey, hey, what's going on?

- She broke my arm.

00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:50,471

- He touched my fanny.

- No, she touched mine first.

00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:52,223

That's my job.

00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,683

So wait, what's the deal?

00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:56,060

I can have sex with you

but I can't touch you?

00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:57,687

JASMINE & PHOEBE:

Ew.

00:14:57,855 --> 00:15:01,232

- You can't have sex with her.

- Did you think I was a hooker?

00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,903

No, okay. I know. You're a masseuse.

It's cool. I'm not a cop.

00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:08,197

Okay.

00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:11,326

Can you ask Mr. Wiffler

if he can wait for, like, five minutes?

00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:12,994

JASMINE:

Fine.

00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,288

I don't like you.

00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:20,460

So that's what you thought I did? God.

00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:22,670

That's not what I do.

00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:26,090

Wait, that...

Wait, that's not what you do?

00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,176

No.

00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,011

Why would you think that?

00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:33,556

I don't know. I mean, you know...

This is the city, you know? I just...

00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:35,058

I mean, uh...

00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:36,684

...I don't know.

00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:42,106

Whatever. It's the perfect end

to the perfect weekend anyway.

00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:44,734

Oh, wait.

00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:48,196

No, you're right. No, it was perfect.

00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:51,240

I can't believe

that I screwed it up so bad.

00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,702

You really thought it was perfect?

00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:57,080

Well, no, maybe it wasn't perfect...

00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:59,874

...but, you know, it was pretty cool,

you know?

00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,627

Because we had all those great talks,

you know?

00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:07,382

Yeah. Um...

00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:10,259

Which ones in particular

were great for you?

00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,930

Well, you know,

about the tongue thing, you know?

00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:17,767

And how I told you about my likes

and my dislikes.

00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:19,227

I don't...

00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:23,189

How I like to melt stuff

and how I dislike stuff that doesn't melt.

00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,735

Right. Okay. Mm-hm.

00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,321

You know,

I feel like I can really talk to you...

00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,074

...because, you know,

you're my sister, you know?

00:16:35,577 --> 00:16:38,246

Yeah. I guess I do. Yeah.

00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:41,165

And then I go feel your friend up

and make you mad at me.

00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:46,838

Yeah, well, I wasn't hopping mad,

you know?

00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,716

You hopped a little bit.

00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:54,929

Yeah, I'm really sorry.

You know, I'm really...

00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,056

Okay.

00:16:57,224 --> 00:16:59,267

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:03,104

Well, this is my favorite part

of the weekend. Right now. This.

00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,106

- This?

- Uh-huh.

00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,650

Oh, come on. We went to Times Square.

00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:11,070

We found ninja stars.

I almost get my arm broken by a hooker...

00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:12,655

She's not a hooker.

00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:16,451

Well, when I tell my friends about her,

she will be.

00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,000

Okay. On three.

00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:25,960

One, two...

00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,795

Why don't we just go on two?

00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:30,631

- Why two?

- Because it's faster.

00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:34,135

Yeah, I could've counted to three four times

without all this two talk.

00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:38,139

- All right, but in the future...

- Okay. Heavy thing not getting lighter.

00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,807

Okay.

00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,517

One, two...

00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:43,144

- So we are going with two?

- All right.

00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,812

[ALL GROAN]

00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:54,572

Oh, good job, Joe.

00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,408

Wow.

00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:58,618

It's big.

00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:03,372

Yeah. Yeah, so big that it actually

makes our doors look smaller.

00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,666

Maybe my ruler's wrong.

00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,377

Maybe all the rulers are wrong.

00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,505

Look, it's not that bad.

00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:13,633

So what? It blocks a little of your door,

a little of my door.

00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:14,842

I got a better idea.

00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:18,679

How about it blocks none of my door

and a lot of your door?

00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:25,728

Listen, before I forget,

that side is still wet.

00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:31,859

Okay, ahem,

let me just see if I've got this right.

00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:35,488

So this is a half-caf, double-tall,

easy-hazelnut...

00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:40,701

...nonfat, no foam, with whip,

extra-hot latte, right?

00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:42,370

Okay, great.

00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,956

Ahem. You freak.

00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:54,173

- Thank you. Ahem.

- A coffee to go, please.

00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:57,718

[MOUTHS]

Oh, my God. Guys.

00:18:57,886 --> 00:18:59,387

Isabella Rossellini.

00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:02,140

Are you serious? Oh, my God.

00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:05,893

Damn. I cannot believe

I took her off my list.

00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:08,271

Why? Because otherwise you'd go for it?

00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:10,398

[MONICA & RACHEL LAUGH]

00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,108

Yeah, maybe.

00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:15,069

Oh, heh. You lie.

00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,280

You don't think I'd go up to her?

00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:21,242

Ross, it took you 10 years

to finally admit you liked me.

00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:28,749

Yeah? Well, missy, you better be glad

that list is laminated. Heh.

00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:33,254

You know what, honey? You go ahead.

We'll call her an alternate.

00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:38,009

- Okay. Hold my cruller.

- Okay.

00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,887

Rach, are you really gonna let him

do this?

00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:43,431

Honey, he's about to go hit

on Isabella Rossellini.

00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:46,309

I'm just sorry we don't got popcorn.

00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,439

Hi. Hi.

00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:53,107

I'm Ross.

00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:56,944

Um, you don't know me,

but I'm a big, big fan of yours.

00:19:57,112 --> 00:20:00,114

I mean, um, Blue Velvet. Whoo.

00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:07,121

I was wondering if I could maybe

buy you a, um, cup of coffee.

00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,790

Or reimburse you for that one.

00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,626

[LAUGHS]

00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,086

Aren't you with that girl over there?

00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:18,591

[ROSS CHUCKLES]

00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,259

Well, yeah, kind of.

00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:23,179

But that's okay.

See, we have an understanding.

00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:26,766

See, we each have this list

of five famous people...

00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,351

...and you were one of mine.

00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:30,811

So I'm allowed to sleep with you.

00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:34,148

No, no, no. It's flattering.

00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:36,484

Whoa. Heh, heh.

00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:40,821

- I don't know...

- No, no, no. Wait. Wait, Isabella.

00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:42,865

Don't just dismiss this so fast.

00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,451

I mean,

this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:46,661

Yeah, for you.

00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,248

Is that the list?

00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:51,999

- Um, yes.

- Can I see it?

00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:53,292

- Um, no.

- Come on.

00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,086

But... Okay.

00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:57,171

I'm not on the list.

00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:59,840

Um, see, but that's not the final draft.

00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,301

It's laminated.

00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,303

Yeah.

00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:07,348

Um, okay, see, you were on my list.

00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,433

But then my friend Chandler...

00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:15,439

...brought up the very good point

that you are international.

00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:19,277

So I bumped you for Winona Ryder.

Local.

00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:22,905

You know, it's ironic,

because I have a list...

00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:26,075

...of five goofy coffeehouse guys...

ROSS: Uh-huh.

00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:30,371

...and yesterday, I just bumped you

for that guy over there.

00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:31,998

That?

00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:39,964

We're just gonna be friends.

00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:47,680

- You know what?

- Hmm?

00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:49,348

Betcha I could fit in there.

00:21:51,935 --> 00:21:54,562

I got 5 bucks says you can't.

00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:58,024

Get out your checkbook, mister.

00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:01,319

Oh, I think I have the cash.

00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:08,659

JOEY:

You are dog, man.

00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:11,495

I totally fit.

00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:13,831

Yeah. You got me.

00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:17,043

I'm out five big ones.

00:22:19,921 --> 00:22:21,172

There you go.

00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:23,257

JOEY:

Thank you.

00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:25,092

Cha-ching.

00:22:27,137 --> 00:22:30,014

Oh, well, hello, Mr. Lincoln.

00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:33,142

Better luck next time, buddy.

00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:36,687

And the drinks are on me.

00:22:42,861 --> 00:22:44,862

[English - US - SDH]