Эпизод, где Рэйчел увольняется

00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,923

Well, as old as he is in dog years...

00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:11,677

...do you think Snoopy

should still be allowed to fly this thing?

00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:14,013

- Rachel?

- Yeah?

00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:18,183

Remember when you came, you spent two

weeks getting trained by another waitress?

00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:21,103

Oh, sure.

Do you need me to train somebody new?

00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:23,564

Ha-ha-ha. Good one.

00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:28,694

Actually, uh,

Terry wants you to take the training again.

00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:29,903

Whenever.

00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,197

[RACHEL SCOFFS]

00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:35,325

Do you believe that?

00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:38,037

[SCOFFING]

00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:41,915

Yeah.

00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:37,137

SARAH: So that's two boxes

of the Holiday Macaroons.

00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,891

On behalf of the Brown Birds of America,

I salute you.

00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:42,518

[TWEETS]

00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,438

Just admit it. You have no backhand.

00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:49,733

Excuse me, little one.

I have a very solid backhand.

00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:53,153

Shielding your face

and shrieking like a girl...

00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,364

...is not a backhand.

00:01:56,699 --> 00:01:58,367

I was shrieking...

00:01:58,535 --> 00:01:59,660

...like a Marine.

00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:06,333

All right, here, watch me execute

the three P's of championship play.

00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,252

Power, huah...

00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:09,837

...precision, shew...

00:02:10,004 --> 00:02:11,130

...and panache.

00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,048

[SARAH SCREAMS]

00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,719

You broke a little girl's leg?

00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,639

I know. I feel horrible, okay?

00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:24,977

It says here that a Muppet got whacked

on Sesame Street last night.

00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,730

Where exactly were you around 10-ish?

00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:33,443

Well, I'm gonna go see her.

I wanna bring her something.

00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:36,280

- What do you think she'd like?

- Maybe a Hello Kitty doll?

00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,574

The ability to walk?

00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,202

[RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]

00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:44,371

I'm gonna get back to retraining. Ahem.

00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,582

All right. See you guys.

00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:48,584

Look out, kids. He's coming.

00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,964

And I gotta go sell some Christmas trees.

00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,550

Have fun. Oh, wait. No, don't.

00:02:56,718 --> 00:03:00,012

I forgot. I am totally against that now.

00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,599

What? Me having a job?

00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:08,437

No, no. I am against innocent trees

being cut down in their prime...

00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:11,440

...and their corpses

grotesquely dressed...

00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:14,651

...in, like, tinsel and twinkly lights.

00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:16,820

Hey, how do you sleep at night?

00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:20,574

Well, I'm pretty tired

from lugging the trees around.

00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,368

Hey, Phoebe, listen.

00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,370

You got this all wrong.

00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,581

Those trees were born

to be Christmas trees.

00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:31,960

They're fulfilling their life purpose

by making people happy.

00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:33,295

Really?

00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:37,216

Yes.

00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,927

Yes, and, uh, the trees are happy too...

00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:44,223

...because for most of them,

it's their only chance to see New York.

00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:50,646

After you've delivered the drinks,

you take the tray...

00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:54,316

Gunther, Gunther, please.

I have worked here for two and a half years.

00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:57,194

I know the empty trays go over there.

00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:00,280

What if you put them here?

00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:01,740

Huh.

00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:05,744

You know, that's actually a good idea.

They'll be closer to the mugs.

00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:09,623

You know what? You should have

the other waitresses do that too.

00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,292

- They already do.

- Huh?

00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,795

That's why they call it "the tray spot."

00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:18,966

I always heard them talk about that.

I just thought it was a club they went to.

00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:20,926

Oh, God.

00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:25,514

- I'm sorry.

- It's all right.

00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,308

Sweetheart.

00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:34,648

So this must be kind of neat

for you, huh?

00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:37,401

Your dad tells me

you get a couple of days off school...

00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:40,737

...and you don't have to sell

those cookies anymore.

00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,533

Well, I kind of wanted to sell the cookies.

00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:47,452

The girl who sells the most

wins a trip to Space Camp...

00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,788

...and gets to sit in a real space shuttle.

00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:54,626

Wow, you really like

all this space stuff, huh?

00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:58,338

Yeah. My dad says if I'd spend as

much time helping him clean apartments...

00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:01,008

...as I do daydreaming

about outer space...

00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:03,927

...he'd be able to afford a trip

to the Taj Mahal.

00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:08,348

I think you'd have to clean a whole lot

of apartments to go all the way to India.

00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:11,685

No, the one in Atlantic City.

Dad loves the slots.

00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:17,232

He says he's gonna double

the college money my grandma left me.

00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:19,776

Huh.

00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:22,237

Well, good luck to Dad.

00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,072

[SARAH SIGHS]

00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:28,910

Say, how many more boxes

would you have to sell in order to win?

00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:33,415

- The girl who won last year sold 475.

- Yeah?

00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,460

So far, I've sold 75.

00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:41,298

Four hundred, huh?

00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:45,177

Well, that sounds doable.

How much are the boxes?

00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,511

Five dollars a box.

00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,431

And what is second prize?

00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:51,558

A 10-speed bike.

00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:54,311

But I'd rather have something

my dad couldn't sell.

00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:58,523

Well, that makes sense.

00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,568

Could you do me one favor?

If it's not too much trouble.

00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:05,197

- Yeah, Sarah, anything.

- Could you pull the curtains open for me?

00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,283

The astronauts from the space shuttle

are gonna be on the news.

00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,952

Since we don't have a TV,

the lady across the alley...

00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,456

...said she'd push hers up to her window

so I can watch it.

00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,261

WOMAN:

Yes?

00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:31,056

Yeah, hi. I'm selling Brown Bird cookies.

00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:36,228

You're no Brown Bird.

I can see you through my peephole.

00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,857

Um, no, hi. I'm an honorary Brown Bird.

00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:42,442

[TWEETS]

00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:45,987

What does that mean?

00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:50,117

Uh, well, it means that I can sell cookies,

but I'm not invited to sleepovers.

00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:51,535

[CHUCKLES]

00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:57,749

I can dial 911 at the press of a button,

you know.

00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,251

Now, go away.

00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,212

Please, please. It's for a poor little girl...

00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:05,966

...who wants to go to Space Camp

more than anything in the world.

00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,551

- I'm pressing.

- No...

00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:09,761

A policeman is on his way.

00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,973

Okay, okay. I'm going, I'm going.

00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:17,727

[SIGHS]

00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:21,189

- I can still see you.

- All right.

00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,485

Hey.

00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:27,988

Hey. What are you doing here?

00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,198

Well, I thought a lot

about what you said...

00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:34,578

...and I realized, all right,

maybe I was a little judgmental.

00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:36,872

Yeah. Oh, but, oh. Ugh.

00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:39,499

Now, now, Phoebe, remember, hey...

00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:41,960

...they're just fulfilling their Christmas...

00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,587

- Destiny. Yes.

- Sure.

00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:46,465

- Right.

- Okay.

00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,968

Yikes. That one doesn't look

very fulfilled.

00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:53,388

Oh, that's one of the old ones.

He's just taking it to the back.

00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,932

PHOEBE:

You keep the old ones in the back?

00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:58,393

That is so ageist.

00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:03,815

- We have to make room for the fresh ones.

- So, what happens to the old guys?

00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:05,859

Well, they go into the chipper.

00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:10,322

Why do I have a feeling

that's not as happy as it sounds?

00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,491

[DRONING]

00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:14,868

No. No!

00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:17,662

[GASPING]

00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:20,749

[YELLS]

00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,418

Hey, hey, hey.

00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,133

And these come in the shapes

of Christmas characters.

00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,969

Santa, Rudolph and Baby Jesus.

00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,638

Oh.

00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:37,516

All right.

I'll take a box of the cream-filled Jesuses.

00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:42,562

Wait a minute, one box? I'm trying to send

a poor little girl to Space Camp.

00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:45,690

I'm putting you down for five boxes.

Chandler, what about you?

00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:50,195

All right, do you have any, uh,

coconut-flavored deities?

00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:54,533

No, but there's coconut

in the Hanukkah Menorah-eos.

00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:58,161

I'll put you down for eight boxes,

one for each night.

00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,371

[MOUTHS]

Okay.

00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,499

ROSS: Mon?

- I'll take one box of the Mint Treasures.

00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,793

One, and that's it.

00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,546

I started gaining weight

after I joined the Brown Birds.

00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:11,591

Remember Dad bought every one

of my boxes and I ate them all?

00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:15,554

No, Mon, Dad had to buy every one

of your boxes...

00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,681

...because you ate them all.

00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:24,854

But, you know,

I'm sure that's not gonna happen this time.

00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:27,649

Why don't I just put you down

for three Mint Treasures...

00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,609

...and just a couple of the Rudolphs?

00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:31,278

No.

00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:36,449

Oh, come on, now.

You know you want them.

00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:39,035

[STAMMERS]

Don't do this.

00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:43,707

I'll tell you what, Mon.

I'll give you the first box for free.

00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,668

Oh, God, I gotta go.

00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:49,963

Come on.

All the cool kids are eating them.

00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:55,343

And later I wanna show you

why we don't just trap spiders...

00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:58,305

...under coffee mugs

and leave them there.

00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:06,021

I'm training to be better at a job that I hate.

My life officially sucks.

00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:10,066

But wasn't this supposed to be temporary?

I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff.

00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:12,569

Well, yeah, I'm still pursuing that.

00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,739

How, exactly, are you pursuing that?

00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:19,826

You know, other than sending out résumés,

like, what, two years ago?

00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:23,705

Well, I'm also sending out...

00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,374

...good thoughts.

00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,919

If you ask me,

as long as you got this job...

00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:32,797

...you got nothing pushing you

to get another one.

00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:35,216

You need The Fear.

00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:37,052

- The Fear?

CHANDLER: He's right.

00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:39,471

If you quit this job,

you then have motivation...

00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,973

...to go after a job you really want.

00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:46,853

How come you're still at a job you hate?

Why don't you quit and get The Fear?

00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:48,063

[BOTH LAUGH]

00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,398

Because I'm too afraid.

00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,901

God. I don't know.

00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:57,322

I mean, I would give anything to work

for a designer, you know, or a buyer.

00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,659

Ugh. I just don't wanna be 30

and still work here.

00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:05,705

Yeah, that'd be much worse than being 28

and still working here.

00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,791

- Rachel?

- Yeah?

00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:12,170

Remind me to review with you

which pot is decaf and which is regular.

00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:16,091

Can't I just look at the handles on them?

00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:18,009

You would think.

00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:22,806

Okay, fine. Gunther, you know what?

I am a terrible waitress.

00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:26,893

Do you know why I'm a terrible waitress?

Because I don't care.

00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:30,647

I don't care. I don't care which pot

is regular and which pot is decaf.

00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,649

I don't care where the tray spot is.

00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:36,069

I just don't care.

This is not what I wanna do.

00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:40,156

So I don't think I should do it anymore.

00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,952

- I'm gonna give you my week's notice.

- What?

00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,328

Gunther, I quit.

00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:51,042

Does this mean we're gonna have to start

paying for coffee?

00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,799

Okay, 12.

00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,843

Twenty-two.

00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:02,011

Eighteen.

00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:03,722

[CHANDLER LAUGHS]

00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:09,102

- What?

- I spelled out "boobies." Ha, ha.

00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:17,527

Ross, put me down for another box

of the Mint Treasures, okay?

00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:20,071

Where are the Mint Treasures?

00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:23,032

Uh, we're out. I sold them all.

00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,076

What?

00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,662

Monica, I'm cutting you off.

00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:32,959

No. No.

00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:35,211

Just a couple more boxes.

00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,591

It's no big deal, all right? I'm cool.

00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:44,137

You gotta help me out

with a couple more boxes.

00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:47,724

Mon, look at yourself.

You have cookie on your neck.

00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,225

Oh, God.

00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:55,398

- Whoa. So how many you sold so far?

- Ah? Check this out.

00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:59,819

- Five hundred and seventeen boxes.

- Oh, my God. How did you do that?

00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:02,280

Ahem. Okay, the other night,

I was leaving the museum...

00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:06,868

...just as Laser Floyd was letting out

of the planetarium.

00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,788

Without even trying, I sold 50 boxes.

00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:13,625

That's when it occurred to me.

The key to my success: The munchies.

00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:20,006

So I started hitting the NYU dorms

around midnight.

00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:25,136

I am selling cookies by the case.

00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,387

They call me...

00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:28,973

[IN DUMB VOICE]

..."Cookie Dude."

00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:34,687

Okay, stop what you're doing.

I need envelope stuffers, stamp lickers...

00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,065

[IN NORMAL VOICE]

Oh, hey. Who did these résumés for you?

00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,650

Me, on my computer.

00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,777

Well, you sure used a large font.

00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,530

Uh, yeah.

Well, "Waitress at a Coffeehouse"...

00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:47,325

...and "Cheer Squad Co-captain"

only took up so much room.

00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:50,411

Heh, heh. Hey, that's funny.

00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:53,248

You're funny, Chandler.

You're a funny guy.

00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:55,291

You know what else is really funny?

00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,503

Something else I might have said?

00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:00,547

I don't know, I don't know.

00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:03,007

Weren't you the guy

that told me to quit my job...

00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:05,260

...when I had absolutely

nothing else to do?

00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,428

Ha-ha-ha. Huh? Huh?

00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,349

Sweetie, calm down. It's gonna be okay.

00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,101

RACHEL:

No, it's not gonna be okay, Ross.

00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:17,188

Tomorrow is my last day,

and I don't have a lead.

00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,691

Okay, you know what?

I'm just gonna call Gunther...

00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,860

...and I'm gonna tell him I'm not quitting.

00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,445

You don't wanna give in to The Fear.

00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:28,032

You and your stupid Fear.

I hate your Fear.

00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,660

I would like to take you and your Fear...

00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,162

Hey. I got great news.

00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:35,915

Run, Joey. Run for your life.

00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:41,421

What? Rach, listen, have you ever heard

of Fortunata Fashions?

00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:44,215

- No.

- My old man's doing a plumbing job there...

00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:46,092

...and he heard they have an opening.

00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:48,386

Want me to see

if he can get you an interview?

00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:52,432

Oh, my God, yes. I would love that.

Oh, that's so sweet, Joey.

00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:56,436

Not a problem.

And now for the great news.

00:14:56,604 --> 00:15:00,356

- What, that wasn't the great news?

- Only if you think it's better than this.

00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,484

Snow-in-a-Can.

00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:06,654

I got it at work.

You want me to decorate the window?

00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:10,867

- Give it kind of a Christmas looky?

- Christmas cookie?

00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:18,499

Okay, and this one here's a Douglas fir.

00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:22,295

Now, it's a little more money,

but you get a nicer smell.

00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:24,964

Looks good. I'll take it.

00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:27,634

Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no.

You don't want that one. Uh-uh.

00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:32,221

No. You can have

this cool brown one. Ooh.

00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:34,724

It's almost dead.

00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:38,686

But that's why you have to buy it,

so that it can fulfill its Christmas destiny.

00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:41,606

Otherwise, they're gonna throw it

into the chipper. Tell him, Joey.

00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,107

Uh...

00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:47,028

Yeah, the trees that don't fulfill

their Christmas destiny, heh...

00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,489

...are thrown in the chipper.

00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:53,618

I think I'm gonna look around

a little bit more.

00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:58,414

Pheebs. Heh. You gotta stop doing this.

I'm working on commission here.

00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,335

MONICA: Hey, guys.

I'm here to pick out my Christmas tree.

00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:05,964

Well, look no further. This one's yours.

00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,007

Ah.

00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:11,469

Is this the one that I threw out last year?

00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,640

All right, you know what? Never mind.

Everybody wants to have a green one.

00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:16,849

[SOBS]

00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:19,602

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to get so emotional.

00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:23,106

I guess it's just...

The holidays are just hard.

00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:27,026

Oh, honey, is that because

your mom died around Christmas?

00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:29,529

Oh, I wasn't even thinking about that.

00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:31,864

Oh.

00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:42,083

Hi there. How many did you sell?

00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:46,838

I'm not gonna tell you.

You're the bad man who broke Sarah's leg.

00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,800

Hey, now. That was an accident, okay?

00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,176

You're a big scrud.

00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:55,888

What's a scrud?

00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:58,141

Why don't you look in the mirror, scrud?

00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:03,438

I don't have to. I can just look at you.

00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:06,274

All right, girls...

00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:09,610

...and man.

00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,155

Let's see your final tallies.

00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:15,116

Oh... Debbie.

00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:19,328

Three hundred and twenty-one boxes

of cookies. Very nice.

00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:22,123

Not nice enough.

00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,916

LEADER:

Charla.

00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:26,127

Two hundred and seventy-eight.

00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,212

Sorry, dear, but still good.

00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,965

Good for a scrud.

00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,384

LEADER:

Let's see.

00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,261

Ooh. Yes, Elizabeth.

00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:36,471

[GASPS]

00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,806

Eight hundred and seventy-one.

00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:40,933

That's crap.

00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,397

Sister Brown Bird.

00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,733

Good going.

00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:53,196

Who's next?

00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,699

[CLEARS THROAT]

00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:59,786

- Hi there.

- Hi.

00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:03,372

And batting for Sarah...

00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,875

...Ross Geller.

00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:09,128

Eight hundred and seventy-two.

00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:14,759

Although it looks like you bought

an awful lot of cookies yourself.

00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:21,182

Ahem. That is because my doctor

says that I have a very serious...

00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,684

...nougat...

00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,396

...deficiency.

00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,567

Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.

00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,070

Well, I lost.

00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:37,198

Some little girl loaned her uniform

to her 19-year-old sister...

00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:42,245

...who went down to the USS Nimitz

and sold over 2000 boxes.

00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,416

CHANDLER: Hey. How'd the interview go?

- Oh, I blew it.

00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:49,710

- I wouldn't have even hired me.

ROSS: Oh.

00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:51,754

- Ugh.

- Come here, sweetie.

00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:58,511

Listen, you're gonna go on like

a thousand interviews before you get a job.

00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:05,434

That's not how that was supposed

to come out.

00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:08,062

This is just the worst Christmas ever.

00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:11,399

Rach, maybe you should just, you know,

stay here at the coffeehouse.

00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:15,653

I can't. It's too late.

Terry already hired that girl over there.

00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:20,366

Look at her.

She's even got waitress experience. Ugh.

00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,493

Last night she was...

00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:27,790

...teaching everybody

how to make napkins into...

00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,333

[IN SQUEAKY VOICE]

...swans.

00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:32,753

That word was "swans."

00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:34,714

[MOUTHS]

"Swans."

00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:42,471

Well, seeing that drunk Santa wet himself

really perked up my Christmas.

00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,231

Ah! Oh, my God.

00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:54,358

[IN UNISON]

Merry Christmas!

00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:55,735

[SHRIEKING]

00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:58,196

PHOEBE:

You saved them. You guys.

00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,364

Oh, God, you're the best.

00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:03,117

Looks like Night of the Living Dead

Christmas Trees.

00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:06,579

[PHONE RINGS]

00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,372

Hello?

00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,374

Yeah, this is she.

00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:14,587

Oh! You're kidding. You're kidding.

00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:17,215

Oh, thank you. I love you.

00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:19,675

Sure, everybody loves a kidder.

00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:21,510

I got the job.

00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:23,846

- Oh, hey. All right!

- That's great.

00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:27,433

Oh! God bless us, every one.

00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:33,147

Here we go.

I'm serving my last cup of coffee.

00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:36,317

[ALL HUMMING ELGAR'S

"POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE MARCH NO. 1"]

00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:44,283

There you go. Enjoy.

00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:46,035

Yay!

00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,913

- Should I tell her I ordered tea?

- No.

00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,082

- No.

- No.

00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,458

Um, excuse me, everyone?

00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:56,045

Uh, this is my last night working here...

00:20:56,213 --> 00:21:01,634

...and I just wanted to say

that I made some really good friends here.

00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:04,470

And it's just time to move on.

00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,805

[WHIMPERS]

00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:11,435

And no offense to everybody

who still works here...

00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:15,064

...but you have no idea

how good it feels to say...

00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:17,775

...that as of this moment...

00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:22,822

...I will never have to make coffee again.

00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:25,825

Now, Mr. Kaplan Sr.

Likes his coffee strong.

00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:29,412

So you're gonna use two bags

instead of one, see?

00:21:29,579 --> 00:21:32,373

Now, pay attention

because this part's tricky.

00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:35,960

See, some people use filters just once.

00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:47,346

I'm sorry you didn't get to go

to Space Camp...

00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:53,102

...and I'm hoping that maybe somehow,

this may help make up for it. Okay?

00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:54,729

Presenting...

00:21:54,896 --> 00:21:58,983

...Sarah Tuddle's Private,

Very Special Space Camp!

00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:05,323

Really, Mr. Geller,

you don't have to do this.

00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:06,615

Oh, come on. Here we go.

00:22:06,783 --> 00:22:07,992

[MIMICS ENGINES ROARING]

00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:12,121

Stand by for mission countdown.

00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:13,706

[IN ECHOEY VOICE]

Ten, ten, ten.

00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:15,124

Nine, nine, nine.

00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:17,460

Eight, eight, eight. Ow.

00:22:18,253 --> 00:22:19,545

Okay, blast off.

00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:21,714

[MEN MIMICKING ENGINES ROARING]

00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:28,054

[ROSS BEEPING]

00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:31,766

[IN FALSETTO VOICE]

I'm an alien. I'm an alien.

00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:34,935

ROSS:

Oh, no, an asteroid!

00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:45,529

[English - US - SDH]