Эпизод с экс-партнёром Фиби

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I can't help but fall from grace

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Wow. This girl's good.

00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:23,856

Oh, yeah, a song with rhyming words.

Ooh, I never thought of that before.

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I like her.

00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:29,278

Why? Because she can sing

and play guitar...

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...and do both at the same time?

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Well, that's pretty much all I'm looking for

from these people.

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Look at you, all jealous.

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Yeah, Pheebs, come on.

You two have completely different styles.

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You know, she's more... you know?

And you're more:

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Say you'll stay beside me

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Okay. See? See?

Everybody else is happy she's done.

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Okay, my next song's called:

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"Phoebe Buffay, What Can I Say?

I Really Loved When We Were...

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...Singing Partners and I Shouldn't

Have Left You That Way."

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Oh, no. One of those

look-for-the-hidden-meaning songs.

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Hey, Phoebe.

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Hey, Leslie.

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How'd you know I'd be here?

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I ran into Vlad at the place

where they sell the big fish...

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...and he said you played here a lot, so...

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All right. I have to go to the bathroom.

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But if the place with the big fish

comes up again...

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...I'd like to know whether that's several

big fish or just one big fish.

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So Phoebe tells us you write jingles.

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Actually, I said she abandoned me

to write jingles.

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Uh, anything we might've heard of?

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Uh, yeah, um...

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[SINGING]

Home is never far away

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ALL:

Home is Homestar Stew

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Yeah, but I don't do that anymore.

I got kind of sick of it.

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And then I couldn't come up with

anything good, so they fired me.

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Hmm, bummer.

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Well, you know, I was just...

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Um, I was just thinking

and just hoping that...

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...maybe you'd want

to get back together?

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No, but thanks.

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Oh, come on, Phoebe.

Would you just think about it?

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Okay.

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No, but thanks.

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[SIGHS]

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Okay, uh...

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See you, Pheebs.

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Wow. That was kind of brutal.

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Well, okay.

Let this be a lesson to all of you.

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All right? Once you betray me,

I become like the Ice Woman.

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You know, I'm just very cold,

hard, unyielding.

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You know, nothing, nothing

can penetrate this icy exterior.

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Can I have a tissue, please?

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Oh, yes.

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Is someone in there?

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No. This is just part

of a daredevil game...

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...that I play called "Wait Until

the Last Moment Before I Burst and Die."

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Jeez, man. Did you fall...? Hi.

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So, uh, did you? Did you fall high?

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Someone was in the ladies' room.

I couldn't wait.

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- I left the lid up for you, though.

- Ha, ha.

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You know what, uh, Gunther?

Go, uh... Go ahead.

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I'm talking to, uh...

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This is the part

where you say your name.

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- Ginger.

- Ginger. I'm talking to Ginger, so...

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- Don't you have to use the bathroom?

- No.

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No, I just, uh...

I'd rather, uh, talk to you.

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Yes, I do.

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Yes, I do have to go to the bathroom.

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GUNTHER:

Someone in here.

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- Where's Chandler?

- He can't make it.

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He said he had to go back

to his, uh, job to do, uh...

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Uh-oh.

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Joey?

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Joey Tribbiani?

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Joey, I can see you, okay?

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You're hiding behind the coats.

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[GROANS]

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Close one. Heh.

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- Hi.

- Hi, sweetie.

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Hello.

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Hey, Ross.

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Uh-huh.

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- I've got some bad news.

- What?

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I can get a quick bite,

but I have to come back here.

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Come on, sweetie. You've worked late

every night for the past two weeks.

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- What is it this time?

- It's kind of my fault. I quit today.

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But work comes first.

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Oh, hey. But that's sad about you, though.

What happened?

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What happened? Burn out?

Burn all out, did you?

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No, he's leaving for a better job.

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Oh, well, that's great.

So I guess this is, uh, goodbye then.

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Goodbye. Ha, ha.

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- Okay, then.

- Okay.

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Well, we're gonna

miss you around here.

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Yeah, me too.

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- So see you on Saturday.

- Yeah, you bet.

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[PAGER BEEPING

THEN MONICA SHOUTS]

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Ugh.

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Now, you know those

are a delicacy in India.

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Yeah, that was Leslie calling again

to see if we can get back together.

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It's like the 20th time today.

Yeah, good luck, Leslie.

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Wow. She must've hurt you

pretty bad, huh?

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Well, yeah.

You know, we were best friends...

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...ever since we were little.

Our moms worked on the barge together.

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You two must've been so cute

running around on a barge.

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You never run on a barge.

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- Hey.

MONICA & PHOEBE: Hey.

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Is, uh...? Is Chandler around?

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No, um, he met some girl

at the coffeehouse.

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JOEY: Ooh.

- Yeah. Ginger something.

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No.

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No, no. Uh, are you sure it wasn't

something that sounded liked Ginger?

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Like, uh, "Gingeer"?

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No, it was Ginger.

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I remember because

when he told me, I said:

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[SINGING]

The movie star

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Oh, man.

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That's the girl I was hiding from.

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When she finds out he's my roommate,

she'll tell him what I did.

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- What did you do?

- Oh. Oh, no, no. I can't...

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I can't tell you that.

It's like the most awful, horrible thing...

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...I've ever done in my whole life.

- You know what? Don't tell us.

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We'll wait till Chandler gets home

because it'll be more fun.

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JOEY:

All right.

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[GROANS]

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Okay, it was, like, four years ago.

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Okay, Ginger and I had gone out

a few times. Then one weekend...

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...we went to her dad's cabin...

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...just me, her and her

annoying little dog, Pepper. Heh.

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Well, that night I cooked

this really romantic dinner...

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You gave her food poisoning.

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I wish. No.

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After dinner, me, her and Pepper

all fell asleep in front of the fire.

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Well, I woke up in the middle of the night

and I saw that the fire was dying out...

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...so I picked up a log and threw it on.

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Or at least what I thought was a log.

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Oh, my God.

You threw Pepper on the fire.

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I wish.

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See, I guess another thing I probably

should've told you about Ginger...

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...is that she kind of has a, uh...

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...artificial leg.

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Oh, my God.

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Joey. What did you do after

you threw her leg on the fire?

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I ran.

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Well, that's the best kiss I've had...

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...with anybody I met in a men's room.

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[CHUCKLES]

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Actually, me too.

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Oh. Foot in a puddle.

Foot all in the puddle.

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Oh, damn. I hate that.

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We're gonna have to get you

out of those shoes.

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Oh, don't worry about it.

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- No, really. You're gonna freeze.

- No, I'm not.

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Huh. You're not?

What do you got, a bionic foot?

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Someday. Maybe.

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[LAUGHS]

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Funny book?

00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:58,138

Hmm? Oh, no, no. I'm just thinking about

something funny I heard today.

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Um, Mark saying, "I'll see you Saturday."

00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:05,729

Yeah, at the lecture.

00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:08,315

I told you that last week.

You said you didn't mind.

00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:12,777

Oh, no, no, no.

It's not the lecture, uh, I mind. Um...

00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:16,281

Oh, please tell me it's not because

I'm going with Mark.

00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,618

- Well...

- Oh, my God. Ross.

00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:22,996

Well, I'm sorry, but... Look,

if you're not working with him anymore...

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...why do you still have to do stuff

with him?

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Because he's my friend.

00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:31,463

Okay. But do you really need

another friend? I mean...

00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:37,010

Okay. Well, if I stop playing with Joey

and Chandler, can I play with Mark?

00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:40,221

Is that funny?

Am I suppose to be laughing?

00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:44,059

I don't know. You thought

"See you Saturday" was funny.

00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,561

Look, honey, Mark is in fashion, okay?

00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,397

I like having a friend

that I can share this stuff with.

00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,483

You guys would never

go to a lecture with me.

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[SHOUTS]

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I would love to go with you.

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- Really?

- Yeah.

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Hey, I have clothes. I even pick them out.

00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:05,121

I mean, for all you know,

I could be a fashion...

00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:06,956

...monger.

00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:15,256

Okay. Honey, I would love for you

to go with me.

00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:16,925

What?

00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:19,969

What should I wear?

Now I'm all nervous.

00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:24,724

[DOOR CLOSES]

00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:33,149

You know, they say,

"A watched pot never beeps."

00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:38,446

It's, you know, ahem...

It's been a couple hours...

00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,782

...and she hasn't called.

00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:43,535

Not that I even care. I don't.

00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:46,538

Phoebe, why don't you just call her?

00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,790

You obviously want to.

00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,959

You think you know me so well.

00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,962

- Well, don't you wanna?

- Yeah.

00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:58,842

- Okay, so I do know you.

- That's what I said.

00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,596

- Well, so?

- I can't.

00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:06,057

I can't. She dumped me.

00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,768

I mean, I totally trusted her,

and then one day it was like:

00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,020

"Okay, bye, Pheebs." Gone.

00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:16,359

You know what the saddest part is?

When we were playing together...

00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:20,864

...that was like the most fun

I've ever had in, like, all my lives.

00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:27,871

[SINGING] My favorite shoes

So good to me, I wear them every day

00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:33,001

Down at the heel, holes in the toes

Don't care what people say

00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:36,004

My feet's best friend

Pals to the end

00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:38,840

With them, I'm one hot chickie

00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:42,552

Though late one night

Not much light

00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,306

I stepped in something icky

00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:51,936

BOTH:

Sticky shoes, sticky shoes

00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:54,647

Always make me smile

00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:59,861

Sticky shoes, sticky shoes

Next time I'll

00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:03,823

Avoid the

00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:05,700

Pile

00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,076

[CROWD CHEERING]

00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:18,713

MAN: We're beginning to see a lot

of layering of sheer fabrics and colors.

00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:22,217

For instance, a sheer navy blouse

over a pink...

00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:24,969

I'm really glad we came.

00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:30,767

You're so pretty.

00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:35,897

I love you.

00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:42,195

[SINGING]

Smelly cat, smelly cat

00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:45,406

What are they feeding you?

00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:48,535

Smelly cat, smelly cat

00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:52,914

It's not your fault

00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:54,999

Wow, that's great.

00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:58,169

- Oh, yeah?

- You know, you could totally sell this.

00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:02,257

It'd be perfect for, like, um,

a kitty-litter campaign.

00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,343

A jingle? No, no, no.

00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,178

Why not? You make a ton of money.

00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,849

Okay, if I was in this for the money,

I'd be a millionaire by now, you know?

00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,978

You gotta get out

of that jingle-head, sweetie.

00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:18,773

Ugh. You're right. You're right. I'm sorry.

00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,066

- That's okay.

- Okay.

00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:23,194

All right, I'm gonna play a song now

that's really, really sad.

00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:26,406

LESLIE: Okay.

- Okay, it's called "Magician Box Mix-Up."

00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:34,622

MAN: Oversized bracelets,

oversized earrings...

00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:38,626

...oversizing of accessories in general

is very popular now.

00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:40,169

[SNORTS THEN YELPS]

00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,340

[LAUGHING]

00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:51,514

- Hi.

- Hey.

00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:53,558

Oh, can I borrow this?

My milk's gone bad.

00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,059

Oh, I hate that.

00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:58,313

I once had a thing of half-and-half.

Stole my car.

00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:03,234

So how was your date with Ginger?

00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,739

Great. Ahem. It was great. She's, uh...

00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,867

She's great. Great looking,

great personality. She's greatness.

00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:15,038

Sounds like she's got the, uh...

00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:17,332

...whole package.

00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:21,377

- Joey told you about the leg, huh?

- Uh-huh.

00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:26,174

Oh, God. It freaked me out.

Okay? I know it shouldn't have, but it did.

00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:29,177

I like her. I don't wanna stop seeing her,

but every so often, it's like:

00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,846

"Hey, you know what?

Where's your leg?"

00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:38,019

I mean, I'm the smallest person

in the world, aren't I?

00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,188

I'm the smallest person in the world.

00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:41,689

Morning.

00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:44,692

Actually, he's the smallest person

in the world.

00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:50,365

[CHUCKLES]

00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:52,867

Heard about the leg-burning, huh?

00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:56,996

It came up.

00:15:57,581 --> 00:16:00,833

Ahem, listen, I, uh...

I know it's a long shot, but...

00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,420

...by any chance,

did she find that funny?

00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:10,802

So I nodded off a little.

00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:14,055

"Nodded off"? Ross, you were snoring.

00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:18,434

My father's boat didn't make

that much noise when it hit rocks.

00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:21,145

Come on. Forty-five minutes.

00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:25,483

Forty-five minutes, the man talked

about strappy-backed dresses.

00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:31,406

Well, okay, how about four hours

in a freezing museum auditorium...

00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:33,908

...listening to Professor Pitstains

and his:

00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:37,662

"Hey, everybody. Remember that thing

that's been dead for a gazillion years?

00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,873

Well, here's a little bone

we didn't know it had."

00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:48,631

First of all, it's Professor Pitain.

00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:51,426

And second of all,

that little bone proved that...

00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:54,971

...that particular dinosaur had wings

but didn't fly.

00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,265

Okay, you know what I just heard?

00:16:57,516 --> 00:17:01,394

Blah, blah, blah.

00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:06,607

You know what? A hundred million people

went to see a movie about what I do.

00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:11,112

I wonder how many people would go see

a movie called Jurassic Parka.

00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,281

Oh, that is so...

00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,742

No, no, no.

A bunch of out-of-control jackets...

00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:17,243

...take over an island.

00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,786

[SCREECHES]

00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:27,295

You know, if what I do is so lame...

00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:30,715

...then why did you insist on coming

with me this morning?

00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,051

Huh? Was it so

I just wouldn't go with Mark?

00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:34,385

No.

00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:38,389

I... I wanted to be with you.

00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,517

I don't know. I feel like lately...

00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:43,436

I feel like you're slipping away from me...

00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,230

...with this new job

and all these new people.

00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:49,067

And you've got this

whole other life going on.

00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,402

I know it's dumb...

00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:55,573

...but I just hate that I'm not a part of it.

00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:01,871

It's not dumb.

00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:06,417

But maybe it's okay

that you're not a part of it.

00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:07,752

You know what I mean?

00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:15,343

I mean, it's like I like that you're not

involved in that part of my life.

00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,970

That's a little clearer.

00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:21,641

Honey, see, it doesn't mean

that I don't love you...

00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:24,769

...because I do. I love you.

I love you so much.

00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,647

But my work, it's for me, you know?

00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:30,066

I'm out there on my own,

and I'm doing it.

00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:34,362

And it's scary,

but I love it because it's mine.

00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,573

But I mean, is that okay?

00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,867

Sure. Ha, ha.

00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:51,129

You're thinking about my leg,

aren't you?

00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,131

No, no.

00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:56,050

Actually, I forgot.

What is the deal with that again?

00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:59,137

Look, it's okay if it bothers you.

00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:02,140

I mean, the only thing I need to know

is how much it bothers you...

00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:04,642

...because I don't like wasting my time.

00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:06,936

Am I wasting my time?

00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:11,274

- No. No, I don't think so.

- Okay.

00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:14,819

It's just like anything else.

You just have to get used to it.

00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:28,332

What's that?

00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,711

That's my nubbin.

00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,758

What's a nubbin?

00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:39,260

[CLEARS THROAT]

00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:43,097

It's kind of a, uh...

A third-nipple kind of thing.

00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,184

Do you have three nipples?

00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:48,936

Well, you know, two regulars, ahem...

00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:52,440

...and, uh, one that barely qualifies.

00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:53,774

[CHUCKLES]

00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:58,112

- Uh, what?

- Nothing. I...

00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,448

I just remembered. I have to leave.

00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:04,035

You, uh...? You have to leave?

Now? How come?

00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,995

Well, it's nubbin. Nothing.

00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:11,375

Um, you know what?

I'll see you later. Okay.

00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:13,127

Uh...

00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:15,963

Ew.

00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:21,636

Oh. I thought you weren't coming.

00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:24,305

- Where were you?

- Come here. Come here.

00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:27,058

Okay. Don't get mad, okay?

00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,894

Okay, don't give me a reason to get mad,

okay?

00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:34,565

I played "Smelly Cat" for the people

at my old ad agency. They went nuts.

00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:38,361

No, look. I told you that I didn't want you

to try and sell it...

00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:41,697

...and you just big fat did it anyway.

00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:45,660

God. You know what?

I think, five years ago...

00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:48,496

...I probably would have done anything

to play with you.

00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:52,458

But I can do it by myself, right?

And if I can't trust you, then just forget it.

00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:54,460

No. No. I don't wanna forget it.

00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,337

Okay, you know what?

You have to choose.

00:20:56,505 --> 00:21:00,007

All right? If the most important thing

on the planet to you...

00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:05,179

...is this cat-poopy thing,

then, okay, you can have "Smelly Cat."

00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:07,390

But we won't be partners.

00:21:07,891 --> 00:21:09,392

So what's it gonna be?

00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:13,145

SINGERS [ON TV]: Smelly cat, smelly cat

ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: Odor in the litter box?

00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:16,565

Don't change your kitty.

Change your kitty litter.

00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:19,485

SINGERS:

It's not your fault

00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:24,532

- Sorry, Pheebs.

- Yeah.

00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:26,200

You okay?

00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,786

Yeah. I actually am. Yeah.

00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:32,665

Because, you know, life's gonna

hand you all kinds of stuff.

00:21:32,916 --> 00:21:35,960

You know, you learn your little lessons

and hopefully you grow.

00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,254

You wanna hear a new song?

00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:39,714

- Yeah.

- Oh, we'd love to.

00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:41,090

Okay.

00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,343

[SINGING]

Jingle bitch screwed me over

00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:48,139

Go to hell, jingle whore

00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:52,351

Go to hell, go to hell, go to hell

00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:55,062

That's all I have so far.

00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:01,152

Well, hello.

00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:04,196

JOEY: Where have you been?

- The doctor.

00:22:04,364 --> 00:22:05,698

- Is everything okay?

- Oh, yes.

00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:08,451

Just had me a little nubbin-ectomy.

00:22:10,912 --> 00:22:13,873

Yep. Two nipples, no waiting.

00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:16,709

Well. Just like Rachel in high school.

00:22:16,877 --> 00:22:18,169

[BOTH LAUGHING]

00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:19,837

RACHEL:

What?

00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:23,799

Come on. Come on, I was kidding.

It was such an obvious joke.

00:22:23,967 --> 00:22:25,885

That was an obvious joke.

00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:28,054

And I didn't think of it.

Why didn't I think of it?

00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:31,599

The source of all my powers.

00:22:33,101 --> 00:22:35,603

Oh, dear God, what have I done?

00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:44,612

[English - US - SDH]