Эпизод с чемпионом по боям без правил

00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,339

...called Sample?

00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:11,510

And as you're driving into the town,

there's a sign and it says:

00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:13,762

"You're in Sample."

00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:17,766

MONICA: Hey.

ALL: Hey.

00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,102

RACHEL: How did it go with Pete?

ROSS: Tell us.

00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,604

You're not gonna believe this.

So I go...

00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,815

I'm sorry. Excuse us.

00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,946

- It's a little crowded. Do you mind?

- Could you skooch?

00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,115

TIM:

Move over just a little bit.

00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:35,784

Keep on skooching.

00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,202

Thank you.

00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:40,873

So, guys, listen.

I go over there and, you know, I'm...

00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:43,125

TOMAS:

Why? What is wrong with me?

00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:45,169

- What's the matter?

- Tim...

00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,171

...I have a feeling...

00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:51,133

...my wife is sleeping

with her gynecologist.

00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,137

How do you know?

00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:56,972

- He's got access.

- I know.

00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,559

It's a feeling you get.

00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:03,020

Like when you're in

somebody else's bowling shoes?

00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:04,313

That's the one.

00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,317

- So you went to Pete's.

- What happened?

00:01:08,526 --> 00:01:10,819

TOMAS:

Why is this happening to me?

00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,654

Maybe it's my wound.

00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:13,989

Forget it.

00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,326

It's not healed yet?

00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:18,911

It's oozing!

00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:21,830

Would you pass the cream?

There's the cream.

00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,499

Thank you very much.

00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:28,504

Tomas, this is gonna be hard,

but I wanted it to come from me.

00:01:28,671 --> 00:01:31,381

- What is it?

- I've been sleeping with your wife.

00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:32,674

You're the gynecologist?

00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,677

I'm trying to have

a private conversation.

00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:40,307

Can I have a napkin?

Could you please hand me a napkin?

00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,893

Just give me the thing, all right?

00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:45,229

Enough!

00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,856

And you are no longer my friend!

00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,067

We are finished! Nada! No more!

00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,319

You are a bastard for doing that!

00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,029

Stay away from me!

00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:55,864

TIM:

Come back!

00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:07,042

So what were you gonna tell us?

00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,211

I have no idea.

00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:03,223

What was the big news

Pete wanted to tell you?

00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:05,684

Or should I say, "Mrs. Monica Becker"?

00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:08,812

Oh, keep your name.

Don't take his name.

00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,272

He didn't ask me to marry him.

00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,859

ALL: Aw.

- Then definitely don't take his name!

00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:18,822

He wanted to tell me he's going

to compete in some Ultimate...

00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,824

...Fighting Competition thingy.

00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,410

JOEY: Pete?

RACHEL: Why? What is it?

00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:26,246

I don't know exactly.

It's sort of like wrestling.

00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,707

- Oh?

- But without the costumes.

00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,459

Oh.

00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,878

And it's not fake.

It's totally brutal.

00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:37,341

It's two guys in the ring and

the rules are, "There are no rules"!

00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,761

You can bite and pull

people's hair and stuff?

00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:44,264

Anything goes except eye-gouging

and fish-hooking.

00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,934

- What's fish-hooking?

- What's fish-hook...

00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:52,522

Thanks. That would have been

hard to describe.

00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,399

What is that taste?

00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:58,654

My hands are totally clean.

I just gave the duck a bath.

00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,034

DOUG:

Thanks for the warm welcome.

00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:08,705

It's good to have you guys on my team.

I come to play. I hope you do too.

00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,416

Let's go out there and get them!

And remember:

00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,211

There is no I in "team."

00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:18,465

Yes, but there's two in "martini."

So, everybody, back to my office.

00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:22,302

You! Chuckles. What's your name?

00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:24,638

It's Bing, sir.

I'm sorry. I was just...

00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:28,267

No, no. I heard what you said.

Funny. I like funny.

00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:31,436

This team's about hard work,

but it's also about having fun.

00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,689

Good to have you aboard, Bing!

00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:42,406

ROSS:

That's right. Ryder.

00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,492

Winona Ryder for six.

00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,079

Thank you.

00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,581

- Yeah. We have the reservations.

RACHEL: Yes!

00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,334

All right, buddy! Way to go!

00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,380

Dude, what are you doing?

00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:03,427

Thank you. My boss keeps slapping my

butt and acting like it's no big deal.

00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,178

What'd you do about it?

00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,140

I didn't do anything.

I didn't want to be the guy...

00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:11,226

...who has a problem with his boss

slapping his bottom.

00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:15,397

I gotta tell you, I think it's okay

to be that guy.

00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:17,899

Maybe it's that jock thing.

00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:21,862

You know, how football players

pat each other after touchdowns.

00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,283

You know, I don't understand guys.

00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:29,995

I mean, I would never congratulate

Monica on a great stew...

00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,456

...by, you know, grabbing her boob.

00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,501

I know. For a really great stew,

you'd just...

00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,545

...stick your head in between them.

00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:41,673

Can we please go eat?

00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:45,010

- Yeah, what are we getting?

- Anything but stew.

00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:49,514

So from now on, don't give

your boss a chance to get you.

00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,475

Don't turn your back to him.

00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:54,644

Or you could teach him

a lesson, you know?

00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:59,483

What you do is rub something that

smells really bad on your butt, right?

00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:03,070

Then when he goes to smack you,

his hand will smell.

00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:09,493

Now, what could you rub on your butt

that would smell bad?

00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,498

What if Joey was President?

00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,294

Can I ask you something?

00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:21,755

- Yeah.

- Okay, you can totally say no...

00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:26,009

...but would it be okay with you

if I set Ross up on a date?

00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:29,096

Oh. Uh, with who?

00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:32,182

My friend Bonnie.

She always thought Ross was cute...

00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:35,060

...and she asked if I could set it up.

00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:37,979

- But if that's not cool...

- Which one is Bonnie?

00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,690

You remember her from

my birthday party?

00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:43,068

Average height...

00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:45,529

...medium build, bald...

00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:47,322

Oh!

00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,826

That's fine.

00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:54,663

Great! Okay! Good for you!

All right!

00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:03,130

You are iron! You are steel!

00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:07,384

Let me ask you, how come when I call

your computer support line...

00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,678

...I have to wait an hour and a half?

00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:13,432

We're adding operators all the time.

Could we concentrate on my training?

00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:17,060

It's just hard when I know

I have e-mail I can't get.

00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,815

- Hi.

- Monica!

00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:24,067

Hi, honey.

00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,445

On the table. On the table, please.

00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:33,243

Hey, um, so listen, my friends were

telling me a little bit about...

00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,245

...this Ultimate Fighting thing.

00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,456

It sounds really dangerous.

00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,792

I don't want you to get hurt,

because I kind of like you.

00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:44,421

I don't want to get hurt either.

I'm being smart about this.

00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:47,674

See these guys? They're

the best trainers in the world.

00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,801

Hoshi was a paid assassin.

00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,303

[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,139

A housepainter!

He used to be a housepainter!

00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:59,519

- Promise me you'll be careful.

- I promise.

00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:02,731

Are we still on for tonight?

Good. Because...

00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:05,275

...maybe we could have

a little workout of our own.

00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,652

No! No boom-boom before big fight!

00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:13,992

How about just a boom?

00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:20,999

That was depressing.

I just bought a pretzel...

00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,293

...from one of the kids from Fame.

00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,214

- Ready to go to the movies?

- Mm-hm. Oh, this is Bonnie!

00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:28,507

Hi.

00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,675

This is Bonnie?

00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,886

This is Bonnie? You're Bonnie?

00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:36,014

I can show you an I.D. If you want.

00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:40,268

Oh, no. You look a lot different

than the last time I saw you.

00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,396

Oh, yeah. Well, I just

started wearing bras again.

00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,941

Oh, that must be it.

00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:48,735

Have fun tonight.

00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,153

Thanks. You too.

00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,161

You said she was bald.

00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,205

She was bald. She's not now.

00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:04,167

How could you not tell me

she has hair?

00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:07,295

I don't know.

I hardly ever say that about people.

00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,381

Oh, well this is just perfect!

00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:13,009

Well, I'm sorry.

I thought you said it was okay.

00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:17,722

I said it was okay when I thought

she was some weird bald chick.

00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:20,475

That girl has got hair

all over her head!

00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:27,107

- Maybe Ross won't like her personality.

- Does she have a bad personality?

00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,401

Oh, no, Bonnie's the best!

00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,658

DOUG:

Bing!

00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,079

Read your CompuTek proposal.

Real home run.

00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:45,292

Ooh. Barely got you that time.

Get over here!

00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:47,002

Come on.

00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,212

Oh, yeah! Good one.

00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:52,007

That was a good one.

Keep at it, team!

00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,302

- What is with him?

- "With him"?

00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,971

You're his favorite.

You're his guy!

00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,598

We never get smacked.

00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,268

That's not true.

He smacked you once.

00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:06,646

Not on purpose.

He ricocheted off you and got me.

00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,983

I'm telling you,

I need some smacks.

00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,485

I got a kid starting Dartmouth.

00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,488

Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth?

Dartmouth sucks!

00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,198

- You go to Dartmouth?

- No, sir.

00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,784

There you go! Ha-ha-ha.

00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,747

[CROWD CHEERING]

00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:27,334

ROSS:

Hey.

00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,044

God, Ross! What is that?

00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,920

The Ultimate Fighting Combo.

00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:34,215

I saved 30 cents.

Plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!

00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,887

ANNOUNCER:

From New York City, New York...

00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:43,266

...appearing in his Ultimate

Fighting Championship debut...

00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:47,270

...he's known for his

confrontational business style!

00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:51,900

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing...

00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:54,611

...Pete Becker!

00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,404

[CROWD CHEERING]

00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,660

I love you, Pete!

00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:09,793

And his opponent

from Huntington Beach, California...

00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:13,797

...he's a 300-pound

street fighter...

00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:16,716

...Tank Abbott!

00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:19,386

[MIXED CHEERING AND JEERING]

00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:21,304

Boo! Boo!

00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,481

Pete? Pete?

00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:34,109

- That guy's pretty huge.

- Don't worry.

00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,820

I'll use his strength

and weight against him.

00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:41,324

Well, then that guy is in serious,

serious trouble.

00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,206

You go get him. Let's go!

00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,251

Here we go, gentlemen.

00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:52,836

Are you ready?

00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:58,508

Are you ready?

Then let's get it on!

00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,345

[GRUNTING]

00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:06,558

Uh-oh!

00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,738

Hey.

00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:21,823

It's me.

00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,451

[SLOWLY]

Monica.

00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:29,831

Can I just tell you how proud

I am of you?

00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:34,085

It would be nice after hearing

20,000 people chant, "You suck!"

00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,297

I thought you were nuts at first...

00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,090

...but you did it.

00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:42,510

Now you can just look back at this

with no regrets.

00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,179

Look back?

00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:46,848

You're not gonna keep going?

00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:50,935

Let me ask you a question:

Am I the Ultimate Fighting Champion?

00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,689

Well, no. But...

00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:58,276

I'm not gonna stop until I'm

the Ultimate Fighting Champion.

00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:03,156

That guy stood on your neck

until you passed out.

00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:05,658

Let me tell you a story.

00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:10,872

When I set out to create MOSS 865,

do you think it happened overnight?

00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:15,543

No. There was MOSS 1

that burned down my dad's garage.

00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:19,714

There was MOSS 2 that would only

schedule appointments in January.

00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:22,217

And 862 others that I learned from.

00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:26,221

Just like I learned from this fight

never to let a guy stand on my neck.

00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:28,723

You didn't know that already?

00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,227

Look, I'm gonna get better.

00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:35,188

Okay? I promise you.

00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:37,565

Okay.

00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,236

Just get a lot better.

00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:43,071

Fast.

00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,324

One other thing.

00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:50,245

Hoshi thinks you being ringside

may have affected my concentration.

00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,247

Yeah.

00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,249

That was the problem.

00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:03,758

- How long until Pete's fight?

- About five minutes.

00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,718

They're interviewing his opponent.

00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:10,056

Apparently, he trains by going to Iran

and pulling the arms off thieves.

00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:13,601

- Wow. Ha, ha. Hot dog?

- Four, please.

00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,770

I'm really nervous.

00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:17,772

Thank you.

00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:23,194

So how did it go with Bonnie?

00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:27,615

Oh, I gotta tell you,

I wasn't expecting to like her at all.

00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,785

I actually wasn't expecting

to like anyone right now.

00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:33,079

But she's really terrific.

00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,289

It's too bad.

00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:39,168

No, I'm saying I liked her.

00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,296

There are other fish in the sea.

00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,800

I think she's great, okay?

We're going out again.

00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:49,637

I hear you. Are you capable

of talking about anything else?

00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,474

Which one's my turkey burger?

00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,977

The one next to my foot.

Sorry.

00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:59,230

- Fight's starting!

- We'll be right in.

00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,317

So did your boss try

to slap you again today?

00:15:02,484 --> 00:15:03,985

Nine times.

00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,446

I had to put on lotion.

00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:11,492

But it'll be okay.

Tomorrow, I conduct an experiment.

00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:15,747

And if all goes as planned,

my butt will be smack-free.

00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:17,624

JOEY:

Fight's over!

00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:24,672

Excuse me, Doug?

00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:29,135

Hey there, sports fan!

00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:31,971

Bing! You got those numbers for me?

00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,098

No. I didn't do them.

00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,225

Oh. You forgot?

00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,937

No, I just didn't do them.

00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,857

Instead, I hung out with some

friends and had a couple of beers.

00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:45,818

So I certainly don't

deserve praise. Verbal...

00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,654

...or otherwise.

00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,366

I got tanked myself last night.

Pretty dicey drive home.

00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,035

Tappan Zee Bridge never looked smaller.

Ha, ha.

00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,289

That's okay. You're still

my number one guy! Bing!

00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:01,125

- Doug!

- Hmm?

00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:05,838

I'm a little bit uncomfortable with

the way that you express yourself.

00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,633

Is it the swearing?

Is it the constant swearing?

00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:12,845

Because I gotta tell you, if it is,

you can just kiss my ass!

00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:17,642

No. It's not about the swearing.

It's more about...

00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,353

...the way that you occasionally...

00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:24,065

...concentrate your enthusiasm...

00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:26,901

...on my buttocks.

00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:29,320

Oh.

00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:32,281

Don't get me wrong,

I appreciate the sentiment.

00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:36,327

It's just that I have a rather

sensitive posterior.

00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:41,416

And besides, it's making

all the other guys jealous.

00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:45,670

Well, say no more. You know,

it takes guts to bring this up.

00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,880

Bing, you're okay.

00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:49,090

Okay.

00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,509

- Ha! Ah!

- Ah!

00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,302

[LAUGHING]

00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,846

[MIMICS GUNSHOT]

00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,728

Would you rather live in the

shirt pocket of a sweaty giant...

00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:04,439

...or inside his shower drain?

00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:07,734

Oh, my God.

00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:10,361

Look. It's Ross and that girl.

00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:18,202

Look at that! It's a line of ants!

They're working as a team!

00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:24,333

Right. Oh, yeah. It looks

like Ross is breaking up with her.

00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:26,044

I hope he lets her down easy.

00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:29,255

Look at that! They are not

breaking up! Look at them!

00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:32,467

You know what that is?

A second date, that's what that is.

00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:35,470

Look, she just put her hand

on his thigh.

00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,306

That's nothing.

She's very sexually aggressive.

00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:39,599

Oh, God!

00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:44,645

It's your fault. Now he loves her.

He'll marry her. It's all your fault.

00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:46,856

You said it was okay.

00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:49,233

You said she was bald!

00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:52,987

Was! Was, was, was!

00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:58,326

We can't let it happen. We have to do

something. We have to break them up.

00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:02,789

Just go in there and shave her head!

You owe me one bald girl!

00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,417

Okay, first of all, breathe.

00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:10,004

Second of all, I don't get it.

00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:13,466

Aren't you the one that decided

you didn't want to be with Ross?

00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:16,677

Yes.

00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:20,640

Well, isn't he your friend?

Don't you want him to be happy?

00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,018

Yes.

00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,020

So?

00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:34,779

It's just, you know, I didn't

expect him to be this happy so soon.

00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:37,990

[GROANING]

00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:45,498

- Oh, no.

- What?

00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:46,833

We killed them all!

00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,376

[RACHEL SHOUTS]

00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:00,471

[MONICA GASPS]

00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:02,140

[GRUNTS]

00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:05,935

It's not as bad as it looks.

It's a precaution.

00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:08,688

I'm not supposed to move my spine.

00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:13,067

Please tell me you're stopping now.

00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:16,195

I'm fine. I'd fight tonight

if they'd let me.

00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:20,491

Now, see this circle

I'm marking off here?

00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,702

This is my Zone of Terror.

00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:28,833

You are insane!

You've got to give this up!

00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:31,961

I can't until I'm

the Ultimate Fighter.

00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,337

I will do it.

00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:37,842

The day will come when children will

argue over who will win a fight...

00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:40,011

...me or Superman.

00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:44,891

Not that I could beat Superman,

but kids are stupid.

00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:47,393

Just sit down.

00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,478

Please listen to me.

00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:54,692

You are terrible at this, okay? You

are the worst Ultimate Fighter ever.

00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:56,110

Ever!

00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:01,616

I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline

fracture in my right forearm...

00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:05,995

...and a severely bruised Adam's

apple, but that really hurt.

00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,878

Well, then you know what?

00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:20,092

I care about you too much to watch you

hurt yourself like this.

00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:24,013

So if you have to do this,

you'll have to do it without me.

00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:26,432

If you're asking me to quit...

00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:29,518

...then you're asking me

to be someone I'm not.

00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:31,270

I've got to do this.

00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:37,443

Then I've gotta go.

00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,238

Bye.

00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:47,828

- Monica?

- Yes?

00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,665

Could you leave a note?

I'm on painkillers...

00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:53,084

...and I might not

remember this tomorrow.

00:20:58,548 --> 00:21:03,552

So, in conclusion, the lines

all go up, so I'm happy.

00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,764

Great job, team!

Tomorrow at 8:30.

00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:10,434

Phil, nice job! Stevens, way to go!

00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,853

Goldberg, you maniac!

00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,689

I love you!

00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:20,695

- Bing, couldn't have done it without you.

- Thank you, sir.

00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,280

Oh, excuse me.

00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:26,200

I forgot my briefcase, you know,

by accident.

00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:28,661

Of course you did. Forgot

something else too, you bastard!

00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:30,871

[LAUGHING]

00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:34,792

Well, what about you?

00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:37,545

You're not feeling left out, are you?

00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:38,713

No. Heh.

00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,465

No, not at all. That's ridiculous.

00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:44,885

Everybody else got one,

and you want one too. Don't you?

00:21:48,223 --> 00:21:49,557

- Yes, I do.

- Ha-ha-ha.

00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:51,976

Now, get on out of here, you!

00:21:57,065 --> 00:21:58,816

ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:

Pete Becker circles the ring.

00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:01,527

Looks like he's just trying

to feel him out.

00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:03,237

Bruiser is charging!

00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:06,157

Run, you crazy, rich freak!

00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:09,076

I can't watch this.

00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:10,995

Check it out! Pete's winning!

00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:13,247

- Really?

- No!

00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:20,171

ANNOUNCER: Uh-oh, Bruiser has Becker on

the canvas and is going for his favorite area!

00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:21,672

ALL:

Oh! Oh!

00:22:21,965 --> 00:22:25,926

Wait! If that's his favorite area,

why is he being so mean to it?

00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:27,845

ROSS:

This is ironic.

00:22:28,096 --> 00:22:30,765

Your last boyfriend, Richard,

didn't want to have kids.

00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:33,601

And from the looks of it,

now Pete can't.

00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:36,103

[ALL SHOUTING]

00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,776

[English - US - SDH]