Эпизод на пляже

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All right, I was 15.

It was my best friend, Ruth...

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...and we got drunk on that hard cider.

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And then suddenly, I don't know,

we were making out.

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Tell it again.

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Seriously.

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Is that woman capable of talking

about anything else but sex?

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Yeah, sure. Well, you know, earlier,

she was talking about geography.

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Joey, she was listing the countries

she's done it in.

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Well, I think we all learned something.

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Hey, you guys. Look what I found.

Look at this.

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That's my mom's writing. Look.

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"Me and Frank and Phoebe,

graduation, 1965."

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- Do you know what that means?

- That you're actually 50?

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No, no. That's not "me" Phoebe.

That's her pal, Phoebe.

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According to her high school yearbook,

they were BFF.

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- Best friends forever.

BOTH Oh.

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- That's great.

- That is so cool.

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I know. So this woman probably could...

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Like, has all kinds of stories

about my parents.

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And she might even know

where my dad is.

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So I looked her up

and she lives by the beach.

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So maybe this weekend

we can go to the beach.

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JOEY: Yeah, we can.

GROUP: Yeah.

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- Shoot, I can't go. I have to work.

- That's too bad.

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Aw, big fat bummer.

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So great. Okay, tomorrow

we're gonna drive out to Montauk.

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Hey, Bonnie had sex there.

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Would you look at them?

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I'm never gonna find a boyfriend again.

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I'm gonna die an old maid.

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You're not gonna die an old maid.

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Maybe an old spinster cook.

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- Thanks.

- Hey, besides, worse comes to worse...

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...I'll be your boyfriend.

- Ha-ha-ha.

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Yeah, right.

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Why is that so funny?

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You made a joke, right?

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So I laughed.

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[BOTH CHUCKLING]

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A little too hard.

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What, am I not, uh, boyfriend material?

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No. You're Chandler.

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You know. Chandler.

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Okay, so we've established my name,

and hit me.

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But theoretically, say we weren't friends.

Say it's a blind date.

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I show up at your door and I'm,

like, uh:

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[IN DEEP VOICE]

"Hey, nice to meet you. Hey. Hey."

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I'd probably be scared of a guy

using a fake voice.

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JOEY: Hey.

- Oh, hey. Oh, good. You bought food.

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No, just my luggage.

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[CAR HORN HONKS]

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JOEY: Hey.

CHANDLER: Hey, guys.

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JOEY:

All right. Yeah.

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Oh, I am having

the best karma this week.

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First, I find this woman

who knew my parents...

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...and then my client with the fuzzy back

gives me his beach house.

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What about that, uh,

bike messenger you hit?

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Oh, I wasn't talking about his karma.

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RACHEL: Hey.

GROUP: Hey.

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JOEY:

Hey, check out the hat.

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Wait a minute, I know that hat.

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I was taken aboard that hat.

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They did experiments on me.

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I can't have children.

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Seriously, where did you get the hat?

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Ross gave it to me.

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- Aw, I think she looks good.

- Thank you.

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Did he buy it for you...

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...or win it for you?

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Well, excuse me,

my fashion-impaired friends...

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...I'm here to tell you that hats are back.

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And this time, they've ganged up

and formed one giant super-hat.

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ROSS:

Go, go, go.

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RACHEL: Now everybody

wants to be under the hat.

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[GROANS]

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Oy.

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What's with all this sand?

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Oh, yeah. Bob said

there might be flood damage.

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Either that or he has a really big cat.

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Well, yes, it's kind of an unusual house.

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It has, um, three beautiful bedrooms

and, uh, no baths.

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But, you know, the ocean is right there.

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Knock, knock, knock.

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Hang on a second. Come in, come in.

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All right, so think about it

and call me back.

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- Are you Phoebe Abbott?

- Uh, yes.

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Surprise, Phoebe Abbott.

I'm your best friend's daughter.

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[PHOEBE LAUGHING]

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You're Irwin's daughter?

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I know. I mean, your old best friend.

Here.

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- Lily? From high school? Remember?

- Oh, God. Lily. Yes.

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Of course I remember Lily.

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I... Then you must be...

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Phoebe, Phoebe.

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Phoebe, yeah.

She named me after you, I guess.

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Uh-huh. Wow. Well. Look, there's Frank.

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Yeah. Yes. Yes, yes.

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- That's my dad. That's Frank. Ha, ha.

- Oh!

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- I'm sorry I'm getting all flingy.

- Oh!

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Take it easy. If you want,

there's cookies on the counter.

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- Or sangria. I could make sangria.

- No, no.

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- Sorry. Cookies are good, thanks.

- Oh.

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So, um, anyway, um,

I've been looking for my father and, um...

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- Have you heard from him or seen him?

- Oh, no, I'm sorry.

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I guess I lost track of everybody

after high school.

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Oh.

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Okay.

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Well, so tell me everything

about my parents. Everything.

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Oh, well, you know,

we were always together.

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The other kids had a nickname

for the three of us.

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- Oh, what? What was it?

- The Three Losers.

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Oh, poor Lily.

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Oh.

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You know, I heard about what happened.

That must have been just terrible for you...

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...losing your mother that way.

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Yeah, no, it was great.

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[THUNDER CRASHING]

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You know what a really good

rainy-day game is?

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- What?

- I mean, naked game.

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Strip poker. We should play strip poker.

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- No.

- Are you crazy?

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Come on. When you go away,

you have to play. It's, like, a law.

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- All done.

- Aw, thank you.

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Okay. Who's next?

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No.

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No way.

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Come on, please. I'm bored.

You let me do it once before.

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Yeah, well, if, uh...

If that's the rule this weekend...

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- Get away.

RACHEL: Take it like a man, Ross. Come on.

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ROSS: No, no.

RACHEL: Oh, come on.

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Big bullies.

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[ROSS & RACHEL SHOUTING]

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No, no, no.

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[DOOR OPENS]

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PHOEBE: Hey.

GROUP: Hey.

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Oh. So how are we doing?

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Bored and bored.

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Hey, you know what naked card game's

never boring?

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GROUP:

No.

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So, what's Phoebe like?

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I'm kind, caring and sweet.

What's Monica like? Ha, ha.

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Uh, no, the other Phoebe.

The one you went to see?

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Oh, I think she knows

where my dad is.

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- What?

- Cool.

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Well, where is he?

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She was pretending

like she hasn't heard from him in years...

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...but I found this picture on her fridge.

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Look, isn't this what he would

look like now?

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- Totally familiar.

- Yeah.

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- Oh, yeah.

GROUP: Yeah.

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Why would she lie to you?

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I don't know,

but we're having dinner tomorrow.

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I figured she's gonna tell me then.

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You know, maybe she just wanted

to give him time...

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...to buy me presents. I don't know.

Ha, ha.

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- So you're all bored?

CHANDLER: Yes.

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All right, I'm gonna close my eyes

and point to someone.

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And whoever I point to has to come up with

something fun to do. And we have to do it.

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- Okay. All right. Fan out. Fan out.

- Okay.

00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,377

Okay.

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Ooh, you know, we could just do this.

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Okay, um...

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We all have to play strip poker?

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Oh, yes!

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Strip Happy Days game?

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Yeah, well, I couldn't find any cards,

so it was either this...

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...or Strip Bag-of-Old-Knitting-Stuff.

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Done.

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Okay.

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"Fonzie gives you two thumbs up.

Collect two cool points."

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- Yeah.

- Yeah.

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Get five cool points, you get to make

someone take off one item of clothing.

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It hasn't happened yet,

but we're all very excited.

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Okay, come on.

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Daddy needs a new pair

of electromagnetic microscopes...

00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,797

...for the Prehistoric Forensics

department.

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Okay. "Take Pinky Tuscadero

up to Inspiration Point.

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Collect three cool points." Yeah.

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Which gives me five.

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And let's see,

who is gonna lose their clothes?

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Um, I think I pick our strip poker

sponsor, Mr. Joey Tribbiani.

00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:13,862

[GROUP HOWLING]

00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,491

All right, relax. It's just a shoe.

00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:19,951

[GROUP HOWLING]

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"Your band is playing at Arnold's.

Collect three cool points."

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Which means I have five,

and that means I get Joey's boxers.

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Fine. Gang up on me.

00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:41,723

I got you all right where I want you.

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Come on. Take them off.

00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,602

Actually, you know, it's kind of cold.

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So how about I keep my boxers on

and give you all a peek at the good stuff?

00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,150

All right,

I'm gonna make more margaritas.

00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:55,236

Whoa, hey, what are you doing?

Trying to get me drunk?

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I'm just making margaritas.

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Think I'll help her out.

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- What is going on here?

- What?

00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,459

- You're painting his toenails.

- Oh, come on.

00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:12,212

MONICA: Chasing him around the room.

- Monica, please.

00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,255

He's totally flirting with you too.

00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:17,092

He is, isn't he?

00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,930

I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it's just

being here at the beach together...

00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,348

...or but it's like something...

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[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

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Hey.

00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,856

ROSS: Hi, Bonnie.

- Hi.

00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:34,192

My boss let me off early,

so I took the train.

00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,236

- Oh.

- What are you guys doing?

00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:39,030

We're playing Strip Happy Days game.

00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,075

Cool. I'll catch up.

00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,336

So you still don't think...

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...I'm boyfriend material?

00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:57,340

Huh?

00:11:57,508 --> 00:12:00,844

Saw you checking me out

during the game last night.

00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:04,139

- You didn't even take off your pants.

- Yeah, well, lucky for you.

00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,726

- What?

- I don't know.

00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:13,398

Well, is everybody else having

just the best time?

00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:14,858

Shh. Shh.

00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:16,067

Joey's asleep.

00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:29,289

After he passed out, we put sand

around him to keep him warm.

00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:35,879

Well, I assume the, uh, happy couple

isn't up yet?

00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:37,964

Did you guys hear them last night?

00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:40,258

Oh, yeah. I don't know

what they were doing...

00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,969

...but sea turtles actually came up

to the house.

00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,307

- Good morning.

GROUP: Hey.

00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,058

- How'd everybody sleep?

- Great.

00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:50,477

Like a log.

00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:52,061

BOTH:

Us too.

00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:55,523

I'm going for a walk.

00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:56,733

[RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]

00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,318

[JOEY CLEARS THROAT]

00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:03,323

Good morning. Nice breasts, by the way.

00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,627

Hey, what happened to you?

00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:19,464

Oh, uh, nothing. I just felt like

hanging out here and reading.

00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,424

Oh, the water was so great.

00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:24,302

We jumped off this pier

and my suit came off.

00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,305

Oh. Sorry I missed that.

00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,641

Joey and Chandler sure are funny.

00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,518

Oh, ha, ha.

00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:34,562

I think I brought back half the beach

in my hair.

00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:37,524

It was so much easier

when I used to shave my head.

00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,863

You know, I gotta tell you...

00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:46,908

...I just loved your look

when you were bald.

00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:49,452

- Really?

- Oh.

00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:52,288

Because I think about shaving it

all off again sometimes.

00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:54,457

- Really?

- Yeah.

00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,835

I mean, you definitely should do that.

00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:00,129

- You know what? I should do it.

- Yeah.

00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:02,465

You know what? Thank you, Rachel.

You are so cool.

00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:05,426

Oh, stop. Go on.

00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:08,346

- Now, go shave that head.

BONNIE: All right.

00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,109

What's the matter, Pheebs?

00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,736

She canceled.

My namesake canceled on me.

00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:26,573

CHANDLER: What?

- She claims she had to go out of town.

00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:27,991

She's avoiding me.

00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:30,118

She doesn't want to tell me

where my father is.

00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,536

She knows and she won't tell.

00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,872

Aw, Pheebs, that sucks.

00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:38,751

Yeah, well, don't

"Aw, Pheebs, that sucks" me yet.

00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:40,962

- Where are you going?

- Well, she's out of town.

00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:44,507

So there's gotta be something in her house

that tells me where my father is.

00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:47,927

Uh, Pheebs, some people call that

"breaking and entering."

00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:51,222

- Well, are any of those people here?

CHANDLER & JOEY: Oh, no.

00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:54,559

Okay. Look, I'll do something nice,

okay?

00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:58,021

I'll fill her ice trays. Good?

00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:00,940

Hey, everybody.

00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:02,483

Wow. Wow!

00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:05,612

[CHUCKLES]

00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,031

Ha, look what you did.

00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:13,328

- You wanna touch it?

- No, but it's great.

00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:15,079

Come on, touch it.

00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,165

Okay.

00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:22,462

You can feel all the bones

in your skull.

00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,929

- Hi.

- Hi.

00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:34,474

I was having a little chat with Bonnie,

and, uh, guess what.

00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,267

She happened to bring up, you know...

00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,978

...who was behind the whole, um,

head-shaving idea.

00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,023

And now, who was it? Oh, that's right.

That's right, it was you.

00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:45,944

That was her idea.

00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:48,863

I just gave her a nudge.

00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:51,366

She said you gave her the razor.

00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,868

- Yo.

- Hey.

00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,287

So anyone up for a midnight dip

in the ocean?

00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,623

- Uh, no, I'm good.

RACHEL: No, thanks.

00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:01,793

- Okay, I'll see you in a bit.

- Okay, have fun. Bye.

00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:06,839

Come on, see?

She doesn't look that bad.

00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:10,426

You can see the moonlight

bouncing off her head.

00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,430

- What the hell were you thinking?

- I don't know.

00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:16,766

You don't know?

Rach, you balded my girlfriend.

00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:19,227

All right. Ross.

00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:23,439

Do you think it's easy for me

to see you with somebody else?

00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,650

You know what?

You're the one who ended it.

00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:29,862

Yeah, because I was mad at you.

Not because I stopped loving you.

00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,075

- You still love me?

- No.

00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:37,662

You still love me.

00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,331

Yeah, so? You love me.

00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:42,291

No... Mm.

00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:47,046

What does this mean? What do you...?

00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:50,049

I mean, do you want

to get back together?

00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:52,719

No. Maybe.

00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:54,512

I don't know.

00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:58,307

Ross...

00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:03,896

I still can't forgive you for what you did.

00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:07,442

I just... But sometimes when I'm with you,

I just feel so...

00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:08,735

What?

00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,988

I just... I feel...

00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:15,575

- I just...

- What?

00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:17,702

I feel...

00:17:25,669 --> 00:17:27,420

No. I don't care.

00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:31,799

I'm not playing one-on-one strip poker

with you for practice.

00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:34,052

But I made cards.

00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:36,888

Well.

00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,473

Good night.

00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,100

I'm going upstairs.

00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:43,227

JOEY: Good night.

CHANDLER: Night.

00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:52,320

Wanna play strip poker for practice?

00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,748

[GRUNTS]

00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:09,170

Ow.

00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:11,547

My ass.

00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:18,304

Okay.

00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:20,681

Okay, good.

00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:23,726

Ooh. Shh.

00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:29,565

[CHIMES CLANGING]

00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:34,237

Shh, shh.

00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:42,495

Shh.

00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:52,046

- Aah!

- No! Oh, it's me. It's me.

00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:55,299

- I didn't wanna make any noise.

- Then don't break in.

00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,637

- I'm sorry.

- What are you doing here?

00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:03,850

I came to fill your ice-cube tray.

00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:06,561

What?

00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:09,355

Um, okay.

00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,358

Okay, look. Huh. Ahem.

00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:16,654

I took this picture from your fridge, okay?

Because I know that this is my father.

00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:20,241

Yeah, this is Frank Buffay, and you

were standing right there next to him.

00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:23,202

Now, look, I deserve to know

where I came from.

00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:26,581

All right? So if you can help me

find my father, then you should.

00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:29,000

Otherwise, you're just mean.

00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,629

So just tell me the truth.

00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:35,423

All right.

00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:40,052

The man in that picture

is Chuck Mangione.

00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,974

My father is Chuck Mangione?

00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:46,893

No, no. That's just Chuck Mangione.

00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:49,437

I sold him a house last year.

00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:53,816

And I'm very sorry, but I really don't

know where your father is.

00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:55,735

And that's the truth.

00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,570

Oh.

00:19:57,946 --> 00:20:00,406

But, um, you're right.

00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:03,951

I think that a person should know

where they come from.

00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:07,121

Which is why I, uh...

00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,374

Uh...

00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:14,629

Okay...

00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:17,340

I'm your mother.

00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:21,677

Huh?

00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:25,848

You know, I wanted to tell you yesterday,

but I just...

00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:27,642

I felt all floopy, and...

00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:33,064

I'm telling you.

You guys are getting back together.

00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,608

That's not true.

She doesn't even know what she wants.

00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,818

Rachel's still mad about the whole thing.

00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:41,364

Okay, well, then you gotta back away.

You don't need that kind of hurt.

00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:43,366

Take it from a guy who's...

00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:46,953

...never had a long-term relationship.

00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:52,208

I know, but I really want to go

up there and finish that kiss.

00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:53,668

BONNIE: Hey.

- Aah.

00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:56,963

You guys, the water is great.

You should really go in.

00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:59,340

Oh, uh, no, thanks. I just had an M&M.

00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,801

Okay. Well, good night.

00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:03,427

ROSS:

Good night.

00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:07,431

- Don't be too long.

- Okey-dokey.

00:21:08,725 --> 00:21:11,102

There is not one hair on that head.

00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:15,189

Hey, it'll grow back, right?

And she's really fun, and she's cool.

00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:18,025

And I'm finally moving on.

00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:21,779

I mean, getting over Rachel

was so, ugh, you know?

00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:24,907

You know, I'm finally feeling sane again.

And now if I go up there...

00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:27,201

...and I kiss her and...

00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:29,578

God, I want to kiss her.

00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,539

And it doesn't work out, right?

00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,958

Do I really wanna put myself

through that again?

00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,668

So let me get this straight.

00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,295

If you go with Bonnie tonight...

00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:40,298

...you're doing the smart,

healthy thing and moving on.

00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:41,465

- Yeah.

- Right?

00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:44,302

And if you go with Rachel,

Bonnie's free tonight?

00:21:58,567 --> 00:21:59,900

Hi.

00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:07,658

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:22:08,785 --> 00:22:10,077

[IN DEEP VOICE]

Hi there.

00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:13,706

That's that weird voice again.

00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:15,499

[IN NORMAL VOICE]

Let me try it again.

00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:18,794

You're gonna wanna date this next guy,

I swear. Okay, come on.

00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:21,881

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:25,259

Hi, I'm Dorf.

00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:29,263

Your date for the evening.

00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:35,353

Oh, come on. Dorf on dating?

That's good stuff.

00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:41,067

[English - US - SDH]