Эпизод с наручниками

00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:08,465

Treeger said we could have

all this cool stuff from the basement.

00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:10,509

Wait right there.

00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,095

Oh, no, no. I'm paddling away.

00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:15,931

Huh?

00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:19,643

Wow. Really?

We got all this rusty crap for free?

00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,856

Uh-huh.

This and a bunch of bubble wrap...

00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,316

...and some of it is not even popped.

00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:30,070

[CHIRPING AND QUACKING]

00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:35,909

Could we be more white trash?

00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:28,754

How desperate am I?

00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:32,257

Oh, good thing Chandler's not here.

He always wins at this game.

00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,469

I just told my mom

I'd cater her party for her.

00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:38,138

- How come?

- Because I need the money.

00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:42,810

And I thought it'd be a great way to get rid

of that last little smidgen of self-respect.

00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:44,937

Come on, I think this is a good thing.

00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,688

I don't think Mom would've hired you...

00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:48,857

...if she didn't think you were good

at what you do.

00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:52,444

You don't have to stick up for her.

She can't hear you.

00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:57,032

Hey, um, do you guys have any juice?

00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,575

Just pickle.

00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,703

Hey, uh, Rach. Funny story.

00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,789

I bumped into Joanna

on the street yesterday.

00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:07,543

My boss, Joanna?

Wow, that must have been awkward.

00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:10,420

Well, no. Actually, she asked me

if I wanted to get a drink.

00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,214

[CHUCKLES]

00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:15,134

You, uh, didn't say yes to that, did you?

00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,554

Ha, ha. No. No.

00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,347

Hello, Rachel.

00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:26,103

Well, not at first.

00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,273

What is she doing here?

00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,316

[MIMICKING SOUND

OF SQUEAKING BED]

00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,238

I don't understand.

00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,574

Last time you went out with her,

you said she was a dud.

00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:40,200

I think I judged her too quickly.

00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:43,579

And this time, we were able

to take the relationship to the next level.

00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:45,914

[MIMICKING SOUND

OF SQUEAKING BED]

00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:51,378

Well, last time, I almost got fired.

You must end it. You must end it now.

00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,922

It's not like this is an everyday occurrence

for me.

00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,466

I mean, usually I'm pretty much

in there by myself.

00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:59,094

[MIMICKING SOUND

OF SQUEAKING BED]

00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:02,973

RACHEL:

Chandler.

00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:05,893

Promise me you will end it.

00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:09,897

- Okay. I promise I'll end it.

- Thank you.

00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,899

But I hope you know

what I'm giving up for you.

00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,484

Because she's not just the boss

in your office.

00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:16,153

You know what I mean?

00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:17,779

Yeah.

00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:22,492

Oh, sorry. I knew what he meant.

00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,875

How's the hired help?

00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,502

Doing great. Quiches are coming along.

00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,796

What's this? Blue nail polish?

00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,758

Yeah, I thought it was cute.

00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:41,386

Ha. It's what your grandmother's hands

looked like when we found her.

00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,516

Let me ask you a question.

00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:48,185

Why did you hire me?

00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:51,396

Oh, well, Richard raved

about the food at his party...

00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,315

...of course, you were sleeping with him.

00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:56,860

Then I heard the food at that

lesbian wedding was very nice.

00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,947

I assume you weren't sleeping

with anyone there.

00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:02,491

Though,

at least that would be something.

00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:07,037

Oh, my God. Did you hear that?

00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,706

She hired me because

she thinks I'm good.

00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,502

Okay, I didn't hear that.

00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:17,256

Yeah. She didn't hire me out of pity.

00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,675

It wasn't so she could pick on me

in front of her friends.

00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:21,593

She actually thinks I'm good.

00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:25,347

Wow. And hey, it's cool if you're a lesbian.

Ha, ha.

00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:36,817

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:44,032

Good afternoon. Are you

the decision-maker of the house?

00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:45,951

Uh...

00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:53,417

Do you, uh, currently own

a set of encyclopedias?

00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:57,546

No, no, but, uh, try the classifieds.

People sell everything in there.

00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:00,674

Actually, I'm not buying. I'm selling.

00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,718

Let me ask you one question.

00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,721

Do your friends ever have

a conversation...

00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:07,389

...and you just nod along...

00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:10,434

...even though you're not really sure

what they're talking about?

00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,233

I'm telling you,

it's totally unconstitutional.

00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,652

- I hear you. Yeah it is.

- I totally agree.

00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,448

I think he deserves a Nobel Prize.

00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:26,408

GROUP:

No.

00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,246

It was like the Algonquin kids' table.

00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,539

[ALL LAUGHING]

00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,960

Excuse me. I'm sorry.

00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:39,671

You haven't said anything

for about two and a half minutes.

00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,090

Are you at all interested?

00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:45,761

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, oh, yeah. Come on in.

Come on.

00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,349

- That's weird.

- What?

00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:51,641

Your nails.

00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:53,226

Oh, I know. I never wear fake ones.

00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:56,188

I just did it so my mom wouldn't

give me grief about biting them.

00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,566

No, I meant it's weird that

you only have nine now.

00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,112

Oh, my God.

00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:06,615

Wait a minute.

00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,575

I had them when I put...

00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,494

Oh, my God. It's in the quiche.

00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,830

- Oh, my God.

- Okay, don't panic.

00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:16,208

I'm gonna go to the store,

get you another set of nails.

00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,252

No one is gonna know,

and you're gonna look great.

00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:24,466

Oh. Oh, it's because they're gonna eat...

That's the problem.

00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:27,928

Honey, don't bite your nails.

00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,974

Okay, uh, please don't freak out.

00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:37,145

Um, but there's a blue fingernail

in one of the quiche cups.

00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:39,731

And there's no way to know which one.

00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:45,612

And whoever finds it wins the prize.

00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:48,323

Ha, ha. I'm not freaking out.

00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:49,658

Why are you laughing?

00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,202

It's nothing. It's just that now

your father owes me $5.

00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,371

Ha, ha. What, you bet I'd lose a nail?

00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:57,999

Oh, no, don't be silly.

I just bet that I'd need these.

00:06:58,167 --> 00:06:59,918

MONICA: Frozen lasagnas?

- Mm.

00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:04,089

You bet that I'd screw up?

00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,842

So all that stuff about hiring me

because I was good was...

00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,552

No, that was all true.

00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:11,513

This was just in case you

pulled a Monica.

00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:15,684

You promised Dr. Weinberg

you'd never use that phrase.

00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,186

Honey, come on. Have a sense of humor.

00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:20,397

You're never able to laugh at yourself.

00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,691

That's right. Ha, ha.

00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:25,777

My mom doesn't have any faith in me.

Oh, that's hilarious.

00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,988

[LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY]

00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,656

I don't get it.

00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:32,826

No. I have faith.

00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:35,120

No. You have lasagnas.

00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,502

[OVEN BELL RINGS]

00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:44,171

Oh, the ruined quiches are ready.

00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,849

It just doesn't feel

like we're breaking up.

00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,769

No, we are. I'm sad.

00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,564

Okay.

00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,816

[PHONE RINGS]

00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,902

Yes?

00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:10,489

Uh, can you wait till tomorrow? All right.

00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:11,823

[SIGHS]

00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,700

Unbelievable.

00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,785

Thanks.

00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:19,206

No, no. That was my boss. I have to go.

00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:20,957

Okay.

00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:22,584

What are you doing?

00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,586

- I'm getting dressed.

- Why?

00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:28,131

When I walk outside naked,

people throw garbage at me.

00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,468

Wait. I want to show you something.

00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:33,637

What is it?

00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:36,264

Just a little gag gift somebody gave me.

00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,099

Put your hands together.

00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:39,684

[CHUCKLES]

00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,978

You're not the boss of me.

00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,815

Yeah, you are.

00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:50,612

Hmm. Saucy.

00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,827

I'll be back in two minutes.

00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:01,331

You're, uh...?

You're going to leave me like this?

00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:05,460

Knowing you're here waiting for me,

I think that's kind of exciting, don't you?

00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,963

Okay, but if you don't come back soon...

00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:09,130

[DOOR CLOSES]

00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:12,008

...there's pretty much nothing

I can do about it.

00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:17,472

- Oh.

- Hi. I brought you back a macaroon.

00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,475

Oh, great. I'll keep it in my butt

with your nose.

00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:29,651

That's weird. She locked the door.

00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:33,029

You know why?

She's got the Christmas bonus list in there.

00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:34,906

I saw her working on it this morning.

00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:37,993

Okay, swear you won't tell.

00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,620

But when Mark left,

he gave me a key to Joanna's office.

00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,582

- You want to see the list?

SOPHIE: Yeah.

00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,375

[RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]

00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:47,919

[RACHEL & SOPHIE GASP]

00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,135

Hi.

00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,263

How are you?

00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,399

[PHONE RINGING]

00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:23,163

Hello, Joanna...

00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,376

- 's office.

00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:32,213

JOANNA [OVER PHONE]:

I'm sorry. I may be a little longer.

00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:35,008

- How little?

- A couple hours. I feel awful.

00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:37,510

Look, this isn't funny.

You get back here now.

00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:38,970

- I can't.

- Why not?

00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,930

I'm in my boss' car.

00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:43,016

- What?

- Uh-oh, tunnel.

00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:44,934

[STATIC HISSING]

00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:58,865

[INTERCOM BUZZES]

00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:01,660

What?

00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,663

CHANDLER [OVER INTERCOM]:

Rachel, could I see you for a moment?

00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:14,422

Okay, here's the situation. Ahem.

00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,966

The keys to the cuffs

are on the back of the door.

00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:18,551

Could you be a doll...

00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:22,055

...and grab them and scoot on over here

and unlock me?

00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:26,893

And on a totally separate subject,

that is a lovely pantsuit.

00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:32,315

You promised you would

break up with her.

00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:36,653

I did break up with her.

She just took it really, really well.

00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:42,450

And the fact that you were jeopardizing

my career never entered your mind?

00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:44,035

It did enter my mind.

00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:48,206

But then something happened

that made it shoot right out.

00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:50,875

You know what, Chandler?

00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:54,129

You got yourself into those cuffs,

you get yourself out them.

00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:57,882

No, no, no.

I can't get myself right out of them.

00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:01,136

You must have me confused

with the Amazing Chandler.

00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:03,722

Come on, you have to unlock me.

00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,433

She could be gone for hours,

and I'm cold and...

00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,813

Ugh! Chandler. All right. This is it.

00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,481

You never see Joanna again.

00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:14,899

Never.

00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:18,236

- You never come into this office again.

- Fine.

00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:21,156

- You give me back my Walkman.

- I...

00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,075

I never borrowed your Walkman.

00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:26,911

Well, then I lost it. You buy me one.

00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:30,790

You got it. Here we go.

Come on. This is great.

00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:34,544

- Aw.

- Does it hurt?

00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:38,965

No, I just always see guys doing this

when they get handcuffs taken off.

00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,511

Hello, sweet pants.

00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,681

Wait a minute.

What are you gonna tell Joanna?

00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,683

About what?

00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:52,854

When she sees that you're gone, she's gonna

know I let you out and I'm gonna get fired.

00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,190

I'll make something up.

I'm good at lying.

00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:57,150

I actually did borrow your Walkman.

00:12:57,735 --> 00:13:00,737

No, there's nothing to make up.

She's gonna know I have a key to her office.

00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,947

I've gotta get you locked

back the way you were.

00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:05,658

Oh, I don't think so.

00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:08,787

[CHANDLER & RACHEL GRUNTING]

00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,338

Well, this is much better.

00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,802

So here's somebody interesting, Joey.

00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,387

What do you know about Van Gogh?

00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:29,140

- Uh, he cut off his ear.

- And?

00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:31,184

I'm out.

00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,394

He painted that.

00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:36,523

Wow. That's pretty nice.

00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:39,567

I thought he cut off his ear

because he sucked.

00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:42,695

- What else you got in there?

- Let's see, uh...

00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:45,490

- Where does the Pope live?

- In the woods.

00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:49,828

Wait, wait, that's the joke answer.

00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,831

Actually, it's Vatican City.

00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:56,668

Now, uh, what do you know about,

uh, vulcanized rubber?

00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,753

Spock's birth control.

00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,755

[BOTH LAUGHING]

00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,007

You need these books.

00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,053

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,139

- Hey.

- Hi.

00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,725

This used to be your room?

00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:16,229

Wow. Oh, you must have been in

really good shape as a kid.

00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:21,359

Oh, I'm such an idiot.

00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,529

I can't believe I actually thought

she could change.

00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,448

Look, who cares what your mom thinks?

00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,742

So you pulled a Monica.

00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,037

Oh, good. I'm glad that's catching on.

00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:36,791

Why does that have to be a bad thing?

Just change what it means.

00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,544

You know, go down there

and prove your mother wrong.

00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:43,381

You finish the job you were hired to do

and we'll call that "pulling a Monica."

00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,049

What?

00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:49,178

Okay, um, if a kid gets straight A's,

his parents would say:

00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:50,889

"Yeah, you pulled a Monica." Ha, ha.

00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:56,269

Oh, or a fireman saves a baby, and they go,

"Yeah, no, he pulled a Monica."

00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:00,648

Or someone hits a home run,

and the announcer says:

00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:02,358

"Yeah, that one's out of here."

00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,527

Because some things don't change.

00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:08,573

All right. I'll go down there.

00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:12,076

But I'm not gonna serve the lasagna.

I'm gonna serve something that I make.

00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:13,870

Wait.

00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:18,041

Ooh.

00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,627

Oh! Wow.

00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:23,630

Wow, my breasts are really strong.

00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,176

[BOTH GRUNTING]

00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,595

RACHEL:

Chandler.

00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,640

Chandler, please. I have to get you

locked up back the way you were.

00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:35,600

I'm so going to lose my job.

00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:38,853

She's very private about her office.

00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,897

Now I know why.

00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:43,107

Hey, look.

You're in trouble either way, okay?

00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,777

If she comes and sees me

locked to this instead of the chair...

00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:49,489

...she's gonna know you were in here.

So you might as well just let me go.

00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:55,370

- I'll clean your bathroom for a month.

- Still wouldn't be clean.

00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:58,873

All I want is my freedom.

00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,960

- Foot rubs for a month.

- Freedom.

00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:04,337

I'll take all your photos

and put them into albums.

00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,005

Freedom. I want my freedom.

00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,466

Why won't you hear me?

Sophie, help me.

00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,885

- Help me.

- Sophie, sit.

00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:12,637

[MUMBLING]

00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:14,847

God, would you just calm down?

00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:24,983

I'm going to say this for the last time.

00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,819

Would you please just...?

00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,409

Wow, there's a lot I didn't know

about vomit.

00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,078

[DUCK QUACKS]

00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,747

In a minute.

00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:42,917

So, what do you say, Joey?

00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:46,879

You get the whole set

of encyclopedias for $1200.

00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:49,841

That works out to just 50 bucks a book.

00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,884

Twelve hundred dollars?

00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:53,511

[CHUCKLES]

00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,264

You think I have $1200?

00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:58,182

I'm home in the middle of the day...

00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:01,310

...and I got patio furniture

in my living room.

00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,898

I guess there's a few things

you don't get from book learning.

00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,192

Well, uh, what can you swing?

00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:13,031

How about zero down and zero a month

for a long, long time?

00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,367

You don't have anything?

00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:19,162

You want to see what I got? Okay.

00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:22,582

I got a baby Tootsie Roll...

00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:25,918

...a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex...

00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,881

...a rock...

00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,050

...and an army man.

00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:36,304

Okay, I get the picture.

Uh, thanks for your time.

00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,890

And a fifty.

00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,517

Huh. These must be Chandler's pants.

00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:44,228

For 50 bucks you can get one book.

00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:47,356

What will it be? A? B? C?

00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:49,150

I think I'm gonna stick with the V.

00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:52,320

I want to see how this bad boy turns out.

Heh.

00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:59,160

I, uh, will buy and wrap

all of your Christmas gifts.

00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,079

- No.

- Oh.

00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:04,707

I, uh... Oh, I'll squeeze you

fresh orange juice every morning.

00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,417

- With extra pulp?

- Yeah.

00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,044

No.

00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,299

I've got it.

00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,635

You don't have it.

00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:18,179

I have so got it.

00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:21,432

There's gonna be rumors about this.

There's no way to stop it.

00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,518

Sophie knows,

Monica and Phoebe know.

00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:25,728

- How do Monica and Phoebe know?

- Oh, I called them.

00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,607

When they ask me what I saw...

00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,777

...I can be very generous...

00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:36,614

...or very stingy.

00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:42,870

- Go on.

- I can make you a legend.

00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:46,999

I can make you this generation's

Milton Berle.

00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:51,379

- And Milton Berle has...

- Oh. Not compared to you.

00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:57,802

- Well?

- They're not even touching the lasagna.

00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,012

- Really?

- Oh, they love your casserole.

00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,305

Yes.

00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:05,393

It's hard to believe, just a little while ago,

this was nothing but ingredients.

00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:10,106

Everyone seems to like your dish.

00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,858

And you?

00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:13,943

I thought it was...

00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,445

...quite tasty.

00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:20,741

So if everyone liked it, and you liked it...

00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:24,203

...that would make this a success.

Which would make you...

00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:25,913

A bitch?

00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,834

Well, I was going for "wrong,"

but we can use your word.

00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,921

Yes, well, I was wrong.

00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:36,257

And I have to say...

00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:39,051

...you really impressed me today.

00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,096

Wow.

00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:45,266

Um, you might even say

that she pulled a Monica.

00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:50,271

She doesn't know we switched it.

00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:54,984

And the next time you cater for me...

00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,404

...there will be nothing but ice

in the freezer.

00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,948

Well, that really means a lot.

00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:03,201

Oh, Mom, don't bite your nails.

00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:12,043

- Hello.

GROUP: Hey.

00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:14,545

Hello, Chandler.

00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:17,715

I love you.

00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:19,967

Hey, what's going on?

00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:21,385

Oh.

00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,803

[PHOEBE WHISPERING]

00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,599

No, he doesn't.

00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:28,017

[LAUGHING]

00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:30,728

Two hours, that lasted.

00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:34,232

So did you break up with Joanna?

00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:35,733

I think so.

00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:39,904

Well, it's a good thing you got out when

you did, before she blew up like Vesuvius.

00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,406

- The volcano?

JOEY: Yeah.

00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:47,703

And speaking of volcanoes, man,

are they a violent, igneous-rock formation.

00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:49,747

What?

00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:52,708

Oh, yeah. Lava spewing, hot ash.

00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:54,710

Of course, some are dormant.

00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:57,922

Why are you talking about volcanoes

all of a sudden?

00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,548

Oh, we can talk about something else.

00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:01,842

What do you want to talk about?

Vivisection?

00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:05,388

The vas deferens?

00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:07,765

The Vietnam War?

00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:11,310

Oh, did anybody see that documentary

on the Korean War?

00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:13,437

GROUP:

Oh, yeah.

00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:15,314

Oh, God,

Korea's such a beautiful country.

00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:18,693

- With such a sad history.

PHOEBE: Yeah.

00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:20,361

Could there be more Kims?

00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:21,696

[ALL LAUGHING]

00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:32,248

JOANNA: Who's out there?

- It's me. Good morning.

00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:34,375

JOANNA:

Rachel, could you come in here a moment?

00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:37,545

Yeah, sure. Um, they didn't have

poppy-seed bagels...

00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:40,089

...so I have sesame ones... Oh, my word.

00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,383

I...

00:21:42,884 --> 00:21:45,094

I seem to have had

a slight office mishap.

00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,848

Could you get the key

off the back of the door?

00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:51,642

Yeah, sure. I...

00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:55,563

[RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]

00:21:56,189 --> 00:21:57,732

I'm so sorry.

00:21:57,899 --> 00:22:00,693

Tell your friend Chandler

that we're definitely broken up this time.

00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:02,153

Okay.

00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:11,245

[English - US - SDH]