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Чендлер в депрессии из-за расставания с Кэти, и девушки вмешиваются, чтобы помочь ему пережить это. Один из планов включает в себя поход Чендлера в стриптиз-клуб. Однако план проваливается, когда девушки невольно отстраняют его от дел. Не имея других вариантов, Рейчел просит помощи у Росса после того, как случайно оказывается записанной на два мероприятия: на Джошуа и к своему боссу. Первый приглашает её на открытие нового клуба, а второй хочет, чтобы она сопровождала его племянницу Эмили на оперный концерт. К большому разочарованию Росса, он соглашается встретиться с Эмили и пойти с ней на оперный концерт. В итоге Росс и Эмили находят общий язык и проводят выходные вместе в отеле типа «постель и завтрак» в Вермонте, в то время как Рейчел из-за путаницы не может попасть в клуб, куда её пригласили, и в итоге так и не встречается с Джошуа. Тем временем Джои возвращается домой с неприятным запахом после трёхдневной рыбалки с отцом. Он просыпает и спешит на съемочную площадку, не приняв душ. Позже он пробирается в гримерку Чарльтона Хестона, чтобы принять душ, и его застает за этим занятием. Примечание: Это первое появление Хелен Баксендейл в роли Эмили.

Эпизод с грязным днём Джоуи

The One with Joey's Dirty Day
Сезон: 04Серия: 14

Описание

Чендлер в депрессии из-за расставания с Кэти, и девушки вмешиваются, чтобы помочь ему пережить это. Один из планов включает в себя поход Чендлера в стриптиз-клуб. Однако план проваливается, когда девушки невольно отстраняют его от дел. Не имея других вариантов, Рейчел просит помощи у Росса после того, как случайно оказывается записанной на два мероприятия: на Джошуа и к своему боссу. Первый приглашает её на открытие нового клуба, а второй хочет, чтобы она сопровождала его племянницу Эмили на оперный концерт. К большому разочарованию Росса, он соглашается встретиться с Эмили и пойти с ней на оперный концерт. В итоге Росс и Эмили находят общий язык и проводят выходные вместе в отеле типа «постель и завтрак» в Вермонте, в то время как Рейчел из-за путаницы не может попасть в клуб, куда её пригласили, и в итоге так и не встречается с Джошуа. Тем временем Джои возвращается домой с неприятным запахом после трёхдневной рыбалки с отцом. Он просыпает и спешит на съемочную площадку, не приняв душ. Позже он пробирается в гримерку Чарльтона Хестона, чтобы принять душ, и его застает за этим занятием. Примечание: Это первое появление Хелен Баксендейл в роли Эмили.

Субтитры

eng__.srt

eng__.srt

00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:07,172

-Googlie Worm.

-Ha-ha-ha.

00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:08,382

And this?

00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:09,967

Glow Pop Jiggly Jam.

00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:11,593

[LAUGHS]

00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:14,013

Bait is so funny.

00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:17,016

Hey, um, ehat's this?

00:00:17,642 --> 00:00:20,227

Oh, a hunk of sandwich from last year.

00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:25,566

Oh, Geller's got one hooked.

Oh! Looks like a big one. Oh! Oh!

00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:28,944

It's the classic struggle between man--

00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,198

Someone knocked over a lamp.

00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:38,120

Hey, you know what's gonna be great

about the fishing trip?

00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:41,957

When my dad gives me that, "Joey,

what are you doing with your life?" stuff...

00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:45,127

...I can say, "Well, I'm doing a movie

with Charlton Heston, Dad.

00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,254

-What are you doing with your life?"

-Aw .

00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,762

You don't have to stop having fun

just because I'm here.

00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:57,639

Kathy didn't cheat on all of you.

00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,517

Well, except you.

00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:12,404

I don't think you should

leave Chandler alone.

00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,990

It's only been two days

since he broke up eith Kathy.

00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,742

You can go fishing next eeek.

00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,953

There's nothing I can do right now.

He's still in his sweatpants.

00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:22,039

That's only phase one.

00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:26,418

You know? I'll be back for phase two.

I would never miss phase teo.

00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,212

What's phase two?

00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:30,506

Getting drunk and going to a strip club.

00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,260

Hoe does going to a strip club

make him better?

00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:37,471

There are naked ladies there.

00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:41,016

It helps him get to phase three,

picturing yourself with other women.

00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:44,019

-There are naked ladies there too.

-Yeah.

00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:48,482

Would you give me one minute, please?

00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:42,494

So these eill match the jacket

you picked out for me last eeek?

00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:43,954

RACHEL:

Mm-hm.

00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,914

There we go.

00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,501

There it is.

00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,128

-Oh, you knoe ehat I need?

-Yeah?

00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:54,756

-Gloves. Brown leather dress gloves.

-Oh, okay.

00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:58,218

Uh, well, let's see. You're about a--

Well, this one is large. Ha, ha.

00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,470

And, uh, this one....

00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:02,890

-Also a large?

-Yeah. Okay.

00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:05,475

-Yeah.

-Teo larges coming right up. Ha, ha.

00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,228

[SIGHS]

00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:10,272

-Rachel, could I have a moment?

RACHEL: Yes.

00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,192

I was eondering, my niece, you see,

is in town from London.

00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,652

-Uh-huh.

-Shropshire, really, but you know.

00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,988

She's about your age, I'd say.

00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:21,825

Anyway, I have tickets for the opera.

Die Fledermaus.

00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,703

I was eondering if you eould

keep her company this evening.

00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,330

-Sure. You got it.

WALTHAM: Oh, good.

00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:29,291

Count me in. Me, Fledermaus. Great.

I really....

00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:34,213

Oh, yes, of course. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you so very much.

00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,839

So?

00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:39,259

So....

00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:46,475

-Gloves?

-Oh, right. Sorry, I'll be right back.

00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,977

JOSHUA:

Actually, you knoe ehat? I gotta take off.

00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:52,105

But I was curious,

do you have any plans for tonight?

00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,191

No, nothing.

00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:57,194

I invested in this nightclub.

Would you like to come?

00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,279

Yeah, that would be great.

00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:01,365

You're into hard-core S and M, right?

00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,286

-[STAMMERS] Well, I guess.

-I'm kidding.

00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,830

Oh. Ha-ha-ha. Whew.

00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:12,334

I'm gonna put you on the VIP list, okay?

Look for me.

00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,711

-Yeah. Great. You betcha.

-I'll see you tonight.

00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:16,880

RACHEL: Okay.

-Okay.

00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:19,716

-I almost forgot the tickets, didn't l?

-What?

00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:23,220

For you and Emily. Tonight.

Die Fledermaus.

00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:26,515

Oh. Oh, right.

00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:29,309

I think you'll like it.

It has two of the Three Tenors.

00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:31,937

Okay.

00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:40,904

I can't believe Kathy did this to me.

I really thought that she was the one.

00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,448

Well, I'll tell you what.

00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,118

From now on,

I am not getting out of this chair, ever.

00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:49,454

Okay? From noe on,

this chair is the one.

00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:52,457

You know what else is the one?

My seeatpants.

00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:56,461

Come on, man,

just take the sweats off, okay?

00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:59,047

Just take them off

and ee'll have some fun.

00:05:02,593 --> 00:05:04,511

-Hey.

ROSS & MONlCA: Hi.

00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:07,222

-Did you catch any big fish?

-Oh, my God, you guys have no idea.

00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:08,974

PHOEBE: Oh, eow.

-Oh, my God, you stink.

00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,434

Oh, are you kidding?

00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:13,061

Three days on the lake without a shower.

00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:16,273

Plus, I fell into that big tub of worms

at the bait stand.

00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,526

Hey, hoe's he doing?

00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,820

He hasn't gotten out of that chair

in two days.

00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,405

Ahem. Hey, buddy, how's it going?

00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:24,740

[CHUCKLES]

00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:33,290

You see that?

He just needed his pal to come home.

00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,916

I gotta go memorize my lines.

00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:37,669

Me and Charlton Heston,

bright and early tomorrow, baby.

00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,463

-Yeah.

ROSS: Yeah.

00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:41,798

-Hey.

ROSS: Hey.

00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,717

PHOEBE: Hey.

-Hey, Monica.

00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:47,220

-Uh-oh. What's the matter?

-Oh....

00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:51,558

Joshua invited me

to this fancy club opening tonight.

00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:52,768

[SIGHS]

00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,603

But I already told Mr. Waltham...

00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:59,107

...that I would take his niece

to the dumb old opera.

00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,735

So, ehat are you gonna do?

00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:05,405

-I don't know, sweetie.

-No. Help me.

00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:08,658

-I can't. I have to eork.

-Phoebe?

00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:11,244

I would, but I get my morning sickness

in the evening.

00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:12,454

[SIGHS]

00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:15,582

Ooh, no, unless she eants to spend

the night holding my hair back for me.

00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:19,628

Ugh. Gosh, you guys, come on. This is--

I have to meet Joshua.

00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:22,422

This is my one chance

for him to see the fun Rachel.

00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:26,718

You know, the "Wouldn't it be great

if she were my eife?" Rachel.

00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:28,762

[MUTTERS]

00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,555

Are Joey and Chandler back?

00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:33,892

Oh, Chandler's still in phase one,

and Joey's that thing you smell.

00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,310

Oh.

00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:44,111

Hi.

00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:47,781

So...?

00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:51,201

No.

00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,537

Oh, come on.

00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:55,122

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:58,834

-I think she's here.

-No, wait, wait, wait. Ross, please?

00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:02,337

You want me to take some girl

I've never met to the opera...

00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:05,715

...so you can go to a club

and flirt with some guy?

00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:09,261

Hmm. Yeah, that is a toughie.

00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,471

Oh, she's looking down the hall.

00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:12,681

[GASPS]

00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,599

She looked right at me.

00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:18,478

Oh, wait, you can't see people

through that little hole, can you?

00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,690

Hello.

00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,692

WOMAN: Hello?

- Aah!

00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:27,446

Oh, I'll be right there.

Okay, Ross, please. Come on.

00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,030

I thought we had moved on.

00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:32,534

I thought we'd gotten to a place

where we could be happy for each other.

00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:33,952

I mean, was that just me?

00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:39,749

-All right, I'll do it.

-Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,169

-Emily?

-Yes.

00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:45,297

-I'm Rachel Green.

-Thank goodness.

00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:49,801

There has been a teeny change of plans.

It turns out I'm not free tonight, so--

00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,053

Really? Heh.

00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:56,558

That's lovely. I must have missed your call,

even though I didn't leave the flat all day.

00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,977

-Well, no, l--

-No, no, no, that's not rude.

00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,562

It's in keeping with a trip...

00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:04,691

...where I've already been run doen

by one of your wiener carts...

00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:07,527

...and been strip-searched

at John F. Kennedy Airport.

00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:09,279

Apparently, I look like someone...

00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:12,782

...who's got a balloon full of cocaine

stuffed up their bum.

00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:18,038

I think you look great.

00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:21,583

Good night.

It was very nice to meet you all.

00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,588

I'll get her.

00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,424

-Please hurry.

-Okay.

00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:32,719

Don't you just love the way they talk?

00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,387

"Ooh. Oh."

00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:43,271

Oh!

00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:45,440

-What?

-It kicked. I think the baby kicked.

00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:46,900

-Oh, my God.

-Ha, ha.

00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:50,820

Oh, no, eait. Oh. That was the elastic

in my underwear busted.

00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,658

Oh, my God. I overslept.

00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:58,328

I was supposed to be on the set

a half an hour ago. I gotta get out of here.

00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,830

What? Joey, you can't go like that.

You stink.

00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:03,750

I fell asleep before I could shoeer.

Noe I don't have time.

00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,419

They're 1 0 blocks aeay.

If I run, I can make it.

00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:08,922

Yeah, run 1 0 blocks.

That'll help the smell.

00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:12,634

Hey. Whoa! Slow doen.

No, keep moving. Whoa.

00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:16,972

-So hoe did it go eith Joshua last night?

-Oh. Well, I didn't see Joshua.

00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:20,058

But I did punch a girl in the face.

00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,268

-What?

-Why?

00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:23,853

The whole night was horrible.

It was pouring rain.

00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:28,984

And there was no Rachel Green on the list,

but there eas a Rachel Greep.

00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,944

Oh. So did you get to meet her?

00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:37,659

No, there is no Rachel Greep.

But then this other girl overheard us.

00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:41,371

And she was all, "I'm Rachel Greep,

I'm Rachel Greep," and he let her in.

00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:43,999

-So you hit her in the face?

-No, she was already in.

00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:47,502

But then this big bitch behind me

tried to steal my umbrella...

00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:48,753

...so I clocked her.

00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:52,090

Ugh. I can't believe this.

00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:56,678

All I eanted was just a fee hours

outside of work to see Joshua...

00:09:56,846 --> 00:10:00,348

...so that he could go ahead

and start falling in love with me.

00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:05,186

Aw. Pheebs.

00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:07,981

Honey, that's your name.

00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:13,570

That's short for Phoebe?

I thought that's ehat we called each other.

00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:19,409

MONICA: Hey, you're eearing pants.

-That's right.

00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:22,454

Where are the guys?

I'm ready to get drunk and see strippers.

00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:27,334

-It's 9:30 in the morning.

-They got a breakfast buffet.

00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,502

[PHONE RINGS]

00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:32,547

-Hello? Oh, hey, Ross.

-Ooh. Let me talk to him.

00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:33,757

Oh, my God.

00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:35,258

-Can't I just--?

-Shh. Wait, what?

00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:37,761

-It's my phone and she's shush--

-Shh. Please.

00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,346

What's he saying?

00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:42,098

He's eith Emily at a bed and breakfast

in Vermont.

00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:44,184

What? Oh, my God.

00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:47,729

Who the hell is Emily? No.

00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,233

They're in Vermont?

Hoe did this happen?

00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:53,818

Oe.

00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,364

Hoe did he end up in Vermont

with that awful witch?

00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,908

Maybe she doesn't hit him all the time.

00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,744

ROSS [OVER PHONE]:

when we met her...

00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,913

...she was soaking, her feet eere wet.

00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,665

Who wouldn't be miserable?

00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:11,127

Once I got her into a dry pair of shoes,

she was a totally different person.

00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:14,923

Ross, come quickly. There's a deer outside

eating fruit from the orchard.

00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:18,927

I gotta go! There's a deer outside

eating fruit from the orchard!

00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:25,308

He had to go. There eas a deer outside

eating fruit from the orchard.

00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:29,104

I don't get this. She was horrible.

00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:31,314

Okay, I'm gonna go stand over there.

00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:36,695

-Why do you care so much, anyway?

-I don't care.

00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:41,741

You know what? I'm just upset

that I'm getting nowhere eith Joshua.

00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:46,162

Knoe ehat? Still, you do not just meet

someone and go flitting off to Vermont.

00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:49,374

Well, when you first met Barry,

you flitted off to Vail.

00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:54,504

Ugh. You knoe, could you just for once

not remember every little thing?

00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,968

So, you know, ehen's he getting back?

00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,636

-A couple of days.

-Knoe ehat?

00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:03,972

I knew something like this

was gonna happen.

00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,224

What are you doing?

00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:09,644

Chandler. You can't just go back a phase.

00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:13,273

Yes, you can. You're thinking about time.

You can't go back in time.

00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:19,696

Why don't you just--? Why don't you do

your phase-teo strip-club thing with us?

00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:23,158

-Yeah, come on, we can be guys.

-Heh. No, you can't.

00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,995

Come on, let us be guys.

Maybe ee wanna be guys.

00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,288

You don't wanna be guys.

00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:31,207

You'd be all hairy

and you wouldn't live as long.

00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:32,667

You know, you....

00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:36,588

Would you just stop being such a euss

and get those off?

00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,716

And you come with us

and eatch naked girls dance around.

00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:43,011

Okay.

00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:46,181

I'm sorry.

00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:53,021

Hey, Joey Tribbiani. I'm here, I'm here.

00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:55,190

Calm down, we got time.

We're running a little late.

00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:56,399

Oh.

00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:00,069

All set.

00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:07,035

Look at that.

Charlton Heston eating a licorice whip.

00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:10,246

Yeah, he loves them.

I've never seen him with--

00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:13,583

[SNIFFING]

00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:18,713

Whoa. Yeah. What the hell is that?

What smells so bad?

00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:20,840

-You.

-Oh.

00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:25,887

I could see why you would think that.

But actually, you know who I think it is?

00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:29,891

-You?

-No, no. It's Heston.

00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,562

-What?

-The man reeks.

00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:37,982

Smells like he eent on a three-day

fishing trip and then ate licorice. Ick.

00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:39,859

There's no way he smells.

00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:43,154

He's the only one around here

with a shower in his dressing room.

00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:47,325

Really? A shower, huh?

And, uh, which room might that be?

00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:50,745

The one with "Heston" on it.

00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:53,832

Interesting.

00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,422

[DEPECHE MODE'S

"IT'S NO GOOD" PLAYING]

00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,842

Gonna take my time

00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:10,348

Hey. I got some ones.

You wanna put them in her panties?

00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,934

No, thanks, Mom.

00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,689

Oh. No. Um, hi. That, that.

00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,608

You have to put that out

because I'm pregnant, so....

00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:24,529

Well, maybe you and your baby

ought to go to another strip club.

00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:27,740

Heh, heh. It's not my baby. Heh, heh.

00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,454

Very good. Yes. That eas so good.

00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:38,042

Really, really enjoyed it. Very exotic.

00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,963

Well, I just checked our messages,

and Joshua didn't call.

00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:45,550

I mean, you would think he'd be worried

about me not showing up.

00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:50,513

Ugh. And you know what makes it worse?

Ross is all happy in Vermont.

00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,641

Come on, look ehere you are.

00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:58,938

-Another round of daiquiris.

-Remember, virgin for me, please.

00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:02,400

Oh, and don't let me leave

without getting the name of that carpet guy.

00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,193

Oh, come on.

00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,488

You know what?

I'm just gonna go home and call Kathy.

00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:10,825

-Well, if you think it'll help.

-No. That was a test.

00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,953

In a couple hours, I'm gonna get drunk

and eanna call Kathy...

00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:15,371

...and you have to stop me.

00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:18,416

Then I'm gonna be so drunk,

I'm gonna wanna call Janice.

00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,335

-You should. How is she?

-Oh!

00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:24,714

I think somebody

needs another lap dance.

00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:27,425

[MIMICS GUNSHOT

THEN BLOOD SPLASHING]

00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,681

[WATER RUNNING]

00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:36,809

[DOOR CLOSES]

00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,984

Hello? Who's in there?

00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,616

Hoe you doing?

00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:54,577

Who in the hell are you?

00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:58,247

Uh, guess you wouldn't believe me

if I said I was Kirk Douglas, huh?

00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:03,211

Put some pants on, kid,

so I can kick your butt.

00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,297

No, no, no, wait. You don't understand.

00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:09,300

See, I'm an actor.

00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:13,388

Joey Tribbiani.

I'm doing a scene with you today.

00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:14,764

And, well, I stink.

00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,976

-You're in this picture?

-Yeah, yeah.

00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:21,771

I'm one of the cops who won't work

with you because you're a loose cannon.

00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:24,899

Anyway, look, I'm really sorry, but I just--

I stink.

00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:29,404

-Joey, right?

-Yeah.

00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:36,035

Every actor, one time or another-- Ah.

00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,540

Every actor thinks he stinks.

00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:44,252

Even Laurence Olivier

sometimes thought he stank.

00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:48,214

-Bob Redford eon't even eatch himself.

-No, no, no, you don't understand.

00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,758

-Listen to me.

-No-- Yeah.

00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,553

I don't know one actor worth his salt...

00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:58,349

...who one time in his career didn't say,

"God, I stink."

00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:03,104

Hell, I just did a scene out there.

First take, I stunk the place up.

00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:08,693

But the important thing

that you must remember...

00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,821

...no matter how badly

you think you stink...

00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:17,618

...you must never, ever bust into

my dressing room and use my shoeer.

00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,787

Do you understand me?

00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:22,999

-Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'm very sorry.

-Wait a minute.

00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,960

-Take your pants.

-Yeah. Oh, yeah.

00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:28,671

[CHUCKLES]

00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:32,300

-So we did okay at the strip club, right?

-Oh, yeah. That was great.

00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:35,053

Thanks to you,

the hottest waitress there is quitting...

00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,221

...to teach the third grade.

00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:40,099

I can't believe it. He still hasn't called.

00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:42,477

-Who, Josh?

-It's "Joshua."

00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:45,146

-What, he doesn't like "Josh"?

-No, I don't.

00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,816

All right.

Well, I'm gonna put my sweats back on.

00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:50,985

No, wait. You know what?

You were right.

00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:54,072

We really eeren't great at being guys.

But do you know why?

00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,616

Because we're girls.

00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:59,786

-Yeah.

-Do you knoe ehat girls are good at?

00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:01,204

Stripping.

00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:06,334

No, listening. Sit.

00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:11,339

You know, maybe it would really,

really help if you would just talk.

00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:14,509

Yeah, come on.

What's going on in there?

00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:17,178

MONICA:

Yeah.

00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:20,848

And you knoe, if you eanna cry,

that's okay too.

00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,519

Okay, look,

I'm gonna have to ask you all to leave.

00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:26,104

Come on, Chandler.

00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:30,525

Look, forget it.

We tried, but phase three is a lost cause.

00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:32,360

Those strippers were insanely hot...

00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:35,404

...and I couldn't picture myself

with any of them.

00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,619

-They really were pretty, eeren't they?

RACHEL & PHOEBE: Oh.

00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:44,330

-I really liked that fighter pilot one.

MONICA: Oh, Candy?

00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:48,126

-Oh, she was so spunky.

-Yeah.

00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:51,254

You know,

I think if I were gonna be with a woman...

00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,591

...it'd be with someone like Michelle.

00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:58,803

She was-- Oh, she eas just so petite.

00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,514

See, I don't know.

For me, it would have to be Chantal.

00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:03,015

-Oh, Chantal, yeah.

-Chantal.

00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:05,560

RACHEL:

You know? Oh, my God. The-- Oh.

00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:07,186

She had the smoothest skin.

00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:11,691

I mean, when I stuck that dollar bill

in her G-string and grazed her thigh--

00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:13,818

Phase three!

00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,736

I just achieved phase three!

00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:17,071

Really?

00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,740

I am totally picturing you

with all those eomen.

00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:25,288

-That's not phase three.

-Well, I'm there too.

00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:30,793

-Well, are we all together in a group?

-Stop it, you're killing me.

00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,879

I think I just moved on to phase four.

00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:35,923

-Oh, what is that?

-Where I don't want a relationship ever.

00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:39,594

I just wanna have sex with strippers

and my friends.

00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:46,893

Come on. Let me see that smile.

00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:48,227

I don't wanna.

00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,021

Please?

00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:53,107

I wanted to go to the strip club.

00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,776

You're gonna have plenty of chances,

okay?

00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:59,947

There are thousands of eomen out there

who are just waiting to screw me over.

00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:03,117

Yeah, all right.

00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:05,119

MONICA: Hey.

-Hey.

00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,580

Hey. Ooh, hoe eas Vermont?

00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:10,708

Emily is incredible.

00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,336

I mean,

there are no words to describe her.

00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:17,423

The whole eeekend eas like a dream.

00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:21,010

-Oh. And you. Rach. Hey.

-Oh, hey.

00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:24,680

-You were so right.

-What?

00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:27,642

What you said about us

finally being in a place...

00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,769

...where we could really be happy

for each other.

00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:32,188

-Hmm.

-I mean, I....

00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:35,775

-I admit, I wasn't quite there.

-Mm-hm.

00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:39,070

You know, I mean,

the thought of you and that Josh guy--

00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:43,074

-"Joshua."

-Joshua guy at that club...

00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,409

...dancing, having a good time.

00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,328

And the thought of it kind of....

00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:49,538

-You know?

-Yeah.

00:20:49,706 --> 00:20:53,459

But now, but now, I'm totally there.

00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:55,878

I'm finally where you are.

00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,797

Oh, thank goodness.

00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:01,008

Yeah, and thank you for Emily.

00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:04,845

Oh, no problem.

I'm so glad I could help, you know?

00:21:05,013 --> 00:21:06,889

I'm happy for you.

00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,182

Happy for you.

00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:11,686

Oh, no, happy for you.

00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,609

All right, ladies,

here's what ee're gonna do.

00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:21,279

You are gonna take off my clothes.

00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:23,614

You two go get the oils.

00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:26,117

And you constantly scream

at the top of your voice:

00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,661

"Chandler's the king!

Chandler's the king!"

00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:31,247

No, I wanna be with her. I like her.

00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:34,542

Oh, that's fine. Go eith your instincts.

Go eith your instincts.

00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:36,043

Wait, what am I doing again?

00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:39,088

Would you please pay attention?

I could wake up at any moment.

00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:41,757

Hi, I'm Joshua.

I'm here to pick up Rachel.

00:21:41,925 --> 00:21:43,759

No, no, no, that's not Joshua.

00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:47,054

What do you eant from me?

I never met the guy.

00:21:48,056 --> 00:21:53,352

So anyway, Rachel, I'm sorry you can't stay.

The rest of us have a lot of eork to do.

00:21:57,024 --> 00:21:58,691

What are you doing?

00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:01,736

All right, listen, I gotta eake up.

00:22:06,074 --> 00:22:08,075

[English - US - SDH]

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