Эпизод с ложной вечеринкой

00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:08,048

Nothing. I can't find anything

that I want to eat.

00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:09,550

Everything makes me nauseous.

00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:12,553

I'm telling you, being pregnant

is no piece of cake. Oh, cake.

00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:15,764

No.

00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:18,892

-Aw, honey, I'm sorry.

-God.

00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:23,731

Ooh, ehat is that smell?

It's coming from the bathroom.

00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:27,151

Wow, pregnancy does give you

some weird cravings.

00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:28,360

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:29,862

JOEY: Yeah.

-It's me. It's Phoebe.

00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,990

Listen, there's something in here

I want to eat. What...?

00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:36,118

What smells so good?

00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:39,371

Is it the shampoo? It's guava.

00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:40,748

No.

00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:42,916

-Ugh.

-Oh, wait, wait.

00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:45,961

Is it my bologna sandwich?

00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,174

Yes, yes, yes.

00:00:50,341 --> 00:00:53,343

I can't believe it. The baby wants bologna.

The baby wants me to eat meat.

00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:56,263

-I can't eat meat.

-Uh, wait, wait.

00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:59,058

Maybe it's the pickle.

00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:52,528

What are you eriting?

00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:54,154

Well, Joshua's coming in tomorrow...

00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:56,865

...and since I don't have the guts

to ask him out...

00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:59,701

...I'm gonna sell him a coat

and put this note in the pocket.

00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,328

CHANDLER: Oh, yeah?

-Oh.

00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:05,749

"Joshua, give me a call sometime.

Guys like you...

00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:08,335

...never go out of style."

00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:11,505

What did you throw away?

00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:16,552

-Hi, guys.

-Hey, what have you guys been up to?

00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:20,806

Oh, we eent to see a collection of Victorian

doorknobs at the Cooper-Heeitt museum.

00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:22,432

Without me?

00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:27,229

My uncle dragged us there,

but actually it turned out to be interesting.

00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:29,731

-Yeah.

-They were so ornate and beautiful.

00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:30,941

I mean, look at that.

00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:32,776

I don't know how museums work

in England...

00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,529

...but here,

you're not supposed to take stuff.

00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:38,448

I, uh-- I got it from the gift shop.

00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:40,492

They have really lax security there.

00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,662

It's a joke.

00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:46,373

ROSS:

Bye.

00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,295

Right, I've got to be off. I'll see you.

Bye-bye, then.

00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:53,130

GROUP:

Bye.

00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:56,300

Wow. Hey, you guys seem

to be having a good time.

00:02:56,467 --> 00:03:00,762

Oh, yeah, she is amazing,

and she's so much fun.

00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:04,641

And you knoe ehat?

When I'm with her, I'm fun.

00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,143

[ROSS CHUCKLES]

00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:08,896

I even signed up for helicopter classes.

00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:12,316

She's leaving in two days.

I don't have to do it.

00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,736

-Aw, two days? You must be bummed.

ROSS: Yeah.

00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,487

She's got to go back to London.

00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:20,324

But you know what?

I've been prepared for this from the start.

00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:24,036

We both knew we had two weeks

together and then that's it, you knoe?

00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,788

Hey, that's what all

my relationships are like.

00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,918

Yes, but in Ross' case,

they both know in teo weeks that's it.

00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:35,088

GROUP:

Pheebs, hey.

00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,841

-Hello, hello.

-Yeah, I knoe. Yeah.

00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,054

So the baby is totally craving meat.

00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,764

This afternoon, I tried tricking it.

00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,808

I made it a soy burger

so that maybe it'd think it eas getting meat.

00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:49,186

You know? And I got nauseous.

00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:52,522

Well, maybe that's because

soy burgers suck.

00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:55,776

Being pregnant is hard on your tummy.

00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:58,820

Hey, but at least you got

that cool, pregnant-lady glow.

00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:02,282

Oh, that's seeat. You throw up all morning,

you'll have that glow too.

00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,794

-Okay.

-Uh, here's that trench coat you eanted.

00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:15,837

Oh, great. Great.

00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,799

-Wow, yeah, it's comfortable.

-Yeah.

00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:22,302

Man, you could really

flash somebody in this thing.

00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:25,055

Ha, ha. They don't want you to put

your hands in the pockets...

00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,349

...until you are out of the store.

00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:29,476

Why not?

00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,478

Well, because...

00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,897

...we get a lot of--

00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,901

You know, they ruin it for everybody.

00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,444

I know.

00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,072

You know, I wore that cashmere sweater

on a date last night.

00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:46,243

-Oh.

-It was the first date since the divorce.

00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:50,330

Well, congratulations.

So do you love her?

00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:53,750

No, no, no. She's nice,

but, you know, it made me realize...

00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:57,004

...I'm just not ready to be dating,

you know?

00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,381

Huh.

00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,925

Well, uh....

00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,177

That's, uh-- That's interesting.

00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:05,721

Hey, whoa, hey.

00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:08,932

-What eas that?

-Oh, that's just an antitheft device.

00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,310

Then what's this?

00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:15,731

Well, you need that too, because

obviously a thief could just tear this up.

00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:22,654

Listen, we have to have a party tonight.

00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:25,866

We have to have one in five minutes,

so everybody cancel your plans.

00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:28,243

-What?

-Yeah, what's going on?

00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:31,496

We have to have a surprise

bon-voyage party for Emily.

00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,874

But it's actually for Joshua.

00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,294

Look, he said he's not ready to date.

00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:40,630

So I had to invite him to a party

if I wanted to see him outside work.

00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:45,635

And now I have created

the perfect opportunity to seduce him.

00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:49,639

Well, as much as I'd like

to meet Josh and warn him...

00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,560

...Emily and I aren't gonna be here,

all right?

00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,687

She's gonna come by first

to say goodbye.

00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:59,941

And then I've got a ehole special

evening planned. So sorry. No party.

00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:01,735

Aw .

00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:05,530

-Hello?

-Surprise!

00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,784

BOTH:

Surprise!

00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:13,038

No one's ever throen me

a surprise party before.

00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:16,166

Well, it eas all Ross' idea.

00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,836

You're so sweet.

00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,297

And I'm so surprised.

00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:27,928

You really didn't knoe?

00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,433

[CORNERSHOP'S "BRIMFUL OF ASHA"

PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,436

There's dancin'

00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,105

Behind movie scenes

00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:41,066

Why are you over here

if Joshua's all the way over there?

00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,985

Uh, because I'm trying to play

hard-to-get.

00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,073

Oh, quick. He's looking over here.

Say something funny.

00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,283

-Like ehat?

-Ha-ha-ha.

00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:53,495

What's so funny?

00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:56,540

I said, "Like what?"

00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,335

Noe that's a thinker.

00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:04,423

Okay, you knoe ehat? This

playing-hard-to-get thing is not eorking.

00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:07,592

Uh, hand me those cherries. Okay.

00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:08,927

Okay.

00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:14,808

-Hi.

-Hey.

00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:17,310

-Care for a cherry?

-No, thanks.

00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:21,690

You know, I can tie one of these into a knot

using just my tongue.

00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:33,702

[COUGHING]

00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,204

You okay?

00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,248

You all right?

00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:45,464

So we should probably get going soon.

00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:48,300

Oh, but the party's only

just getting started.

00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:52,095

Yeah, but ee have to be at The Four

Seasons for drinks in, oh, 1 5 minutes.

00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:54,473

And then, uh, you know,

then the Plaza for dinner.

00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:57,392

So why did you plan a party

at the same time?

00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,604

No, no, no. Ha, ha.

00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:06,485

Actually, American surprise parties

are very short.

00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:10,989

It's usually, "Surprise!" Then,

"Oh, my God, I'm so surprised. Goodbye."

00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:15,368

Ross, I'm having such a great time.

00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:19,247

Your sister has just been telling me that

you used to dressed up like old ladies...

00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:21,875

...and host make-believe tea parties.

00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:27,672

Monica said that, did she?

00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:31,927

Oh, yeah. Then ehat are you going

to put on top of that?

00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:35,430

- A little salami.

-Ooh, yeah. Yeah.

00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,975

Then, um, what goes on top

of the salami?

00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,561

-Pastrami.

-Oh, yeah.

00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,608

You're a genius.

00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,987

Can someone give me a hand

with the zipper.

00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:55,116

Up.

00:08:57,912 --> 00:09:01,540

-You changed?

-Yeah, I just needed my lucky dress.

00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:04,334

-And "lucky" means "more cleavage"?

-Does for me.

00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:18,014

Oh, God, look at him. He's so cute.

00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,850

I just want to go over there and grab him

and kiss him.

00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:23,478

Hoe could I kiss him

without letting him know that I like him?

00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:26,898

Hey, I know how you can get him.

Take off your bra.

00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:28,858

What?

00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:31,069

-There was a scene in Footloose--

-Flashdance.

00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:34,823

-Yeah, yeah. Yeah, eith that plumber girl?

-She was a welder.

00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:39,160

Were you, like, in the movie?

00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:44,708

Anyway, she takes off her bra

under the shirt...

00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:46,418

...and pulls it out the sleeve.

00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,129

Very sexy. And classy.

00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,552

Or if you wanna kiss him,

um, you could use mistletoe.

00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:56,803

It's not Christmas.

00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,805

-Or spin the bottle.

- And he's not 1 1 .

00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:05,687

Thank you so much for this.

It was really so thoughtful of you.

00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,105

You're leaving?

00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:11,109

-Yes, ee have something ee have to get to.

-Uh, yeah, I think I'm gonna take off too.

00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:14,195

No, you guys, you can't leave yet.

You have to stay.

00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:17,032

We've got the whole big thing planned.

00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:18,742

What big thing?

00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:21,036

RACHEL: So, Spin-The-Bottle

works like this.

00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:22,704

I spin the bottle.

00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,624

Lands on Gunther,

so I would have to kiss Gunther.

00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,418

All right.

00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,463

Who wants to go first?

00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,922

I'll go.

00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,299

[ALL CHEERING]

00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,135

[RACHEL SHOUTS]

00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,263

Welcome to America.

00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:43,642

RACHEL:

Oh.

00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,019

All right.

00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:48,521

RACHEL:

Oh, my God.

00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:52,359

Oh, my gosh. Two in a roe.

You gotta use your tongues now.

00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:59,783

All right.

00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,119

What are the odds? What are the odds?

00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:07,540

Okay, that's enough, you know. Ha, ha.

00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,752

Let's let someone else play.

00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,923

Hey, if you didn't eant to play,

then why'd you come to the party?

00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,426

Okay, my turn.

00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,682

Oh! Look at that.

00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:25,475

Oh, my God.

00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,730

Oh, my God. The baby just kicked.

00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:31,940

[ALL SHOUT]

00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,943

It's okay, it's okay.

If it kicked once, it'll kick again.

00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,653

[ALL CHATTERING]

00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:43,284

All right, well, everybody just remember

where they were sitting.

00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,045

It was a bug.

00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,591

It doesn't matter

hoe much I'm craving it.

00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:02,220

You know why I'm never gonna eat meat?

Because it's cold-blooded murder.

00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,556

Okay.

00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:12,355

There's a Phoebe on my sandwich.

00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,525

Phoebe, what are you doing?

00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:17,944

I can't help it.

00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:21,030

I need the meat.

The baby needs the meat.

00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,241

You know how when

you're dating someone...

00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,995

...and you don't want to cheat on them

unless it's with someone really hot?

00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,000

-Yeah, totally.

-All right, okay.

00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,752

Well, this is the same kind of deal.

00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,671

If you're gonna do something wrong...

00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,382

...do it right.

00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,640

Feel better?

00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:49,976

Yeah, but at what cost?

00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,979

Six more months, three meals a day?

00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:57,108

I'm gonna eat like, you know,

millions of coes.

00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:02,572

Hey, what if I said I could even things out

for you, meat-wise?

00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,949

-What?

-Well, I eat a lot of meat, right?

00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:08,036

-Yeah.

-But suppose, until the baby's born...

00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:09,412

...I laid off it.

00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:12,957

No extra animals would die.

You'd just be eating my animals.

00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,503

Joey, I can't believe

you'd do that for me.

00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:20,673

Absolutely. I could be a vegetarian.

00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:23,343

There's no meat in beer, right?

00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,429

Okay, we can still make dinner

if ee skip the appetizers...

00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,765

...and ask for our check right aeay.

00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:35,980

We can't go noe. Looks like Rachel

is going to put on a skit.

00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,777

Oh, my God. Have you lost your mind?

00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:44,280

No, no, no. I am finally thinking clearly.

00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:48,201

My lucky dress wasn't working out

too well for me.

00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:51,788

But for four years,

this baby never missed.

00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,999

Rachel, wait, I can't let--

00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,460

Actually, I kind of want to see

what happens.

00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:01,130

-Hey.

-Hey.

00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:03,216

Nice, uh, costume.

00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:04,676

Oh, yeah.

00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:09,180

Well, I wanted to give Emily

a big American goodbye cheer.

00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,600

So okay. Whoo!

00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:17,063

Ready. Okay.

00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:18,857

-Give me an "E."

GROUP: E.

00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,650

-Give me an "M."

GROUP: M.

00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,443

-Give me an "I."

GROUP: l.

00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:23,778

-Give me an "L."

GROUP: L.

00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,613

-Give me a "Y."

GROUP: Y.

00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,615

What do you get?

00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:30,159

Oh! Emily.

00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:32,161

Whoo! Emily.

00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,788

[THUD]

00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:38,376

Okay. That's me as a cheerleader. Ta-da!

00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:42,255

-You all right?

-I just loosened a tooth.

00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:44,299

It's no big deal. I have a dentist, you knoe?

00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:47,218

I'm gonna go put some ice on it.

Excuse me.

00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,848

-What do I do now? What do I do now?

-I think you're done.

00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,143

Okay, time to take off the bra.

00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,769

[GROANS]

00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:58,521

[CLEARS THROAT]

00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:02,317

Uh, that was really great.

00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,944

But I got to take off, actually.

00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:08,072

Take the bra off.

00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:13,328

All right, come on,

let's go get your coat.

00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:14,621

Okay.

00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:18,374

Rachel's my girlfriend.

00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,380

So this was really fun.

00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:26,257

Oh, yeah, it eas real fun.

00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,306

You know, this bra...

00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,269

...is really bothering me.

00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,481

You know, this used to be my bedroom.

00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,149

Yeah.

00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:47,695

A lot of memories in here. Lot of memories.

00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,239

If these ealls could talk,

you know what they'd say?

00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,742

"Want to hear some memories?"

00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,583

Need a--? Need a little hand there?

00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,794

Oh, no, no, no.

No, I got this all under control.

00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,298

You really don't seem like you do.

00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:11,761

[SHOUTS]

00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:16,724

God. Forget it! Oh, this is--

00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:22,105

This is not how

this was supposed to happen.

00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:23,690

What eas supposed to happen?

00:16:25,734 --> 00:16:27,610

Can you not look at me when I say this?

00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:35,368

I thought that if I could get you here...

00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:36,577

[SIGHS]

00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:38,746

...I could seduce you.

00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:40,957

[CHUCKLES]

00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,334

[GROANS]

00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:48,297

Uh, I don't wear suits to work...

00:16:48,465 --> 00:16:51,009

...and I bought six of them from you.

00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,929

Well, I'm sorry.

I thought you needed them.

00:16:56,515 --> 00:17:00,518

My point is, I kept coming back

because I wanted to see you.

00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,855

-Why?

-Because I like you.

00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,566

You like me?

00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,109

Yeah.

00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:13,031

I mean, you're beautiful

and smart and sophisticated.

00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:15,324

A lot of this isn't, you know,

based on tonight.

00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,662

But you like me?

00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:24,000

Oh, my God. I can't believe this.

All this time, I liked you and you liked me.

00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:25,209

Oh!

00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,046

-But--

-No don't say "but."

00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:32,675

"But" is never good. Let's leave it

at "I like you and you like me."

00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:35,136

Okay, uh....

00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:38,139

-Hoeever--

-No, that's a fancy "but."

00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:44,479

My marriage, like, just ended.

00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:48,858

And I'm really not ready

to get into anything yet.

00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,778

But....

00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:57,116

I'm sorry. I just need a little time.

00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,455

Okay.

00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:09,337

Oh, there you are.

I was looking for you before.

00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:12,548

Joshua's gone,

so you and Emily are free to go.

00:18:12,966 --> 00:18:14,467

It's okay.

00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,512

She's still in there

enjoying her fake party.

00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:21,808

And, uh, it's too late to do

any of the stuff I had planned, so....

00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,185

Ross.

00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:26,604

I'm sorry.

I completely ruined your evening.

00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,648

Ahem. Yeah.

00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:34,237

Well, if it makes you feel any better,

I made a fool of myself.

00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,073

Helps a little.

00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:42,036

Is there a room on that step

for a pathetic loser?

00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:44,205

Yeah, have a seat.

00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,713

I'm so sorry.

00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:53,923

It's okay.

00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:57,093

I mean, it eas just a two-eeek thing

anyway.

00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,720

I just didn't eant it to end this eay,

you know.

00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:02,306

Or maybe you didn't want it to end?

00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,143

What do you mean?

00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,728

You seem to really like her.

00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,774

Yeah, I really do.

00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,027

Yeah, but ehat am I gonna do?

00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:17,780

We both agreed it eas gonna be

a teo-week thing.

00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,782

You know? No commitment.

00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,077

Ross?

00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:28,916

That girl just spent the entire evening

talking to your friends...

00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:31,669

...asking to hear stories about you...

00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:34,422

...looking through

Monica's photo albums.

00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:37,675

I mean, you don't do that

if you're just in it for teo weeks.

00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:39,969

You think?

00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:45,892

You've got, like, 14 hours

until she has to be at the airport.

00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:48,519

And you're sitting here in a hallway...

00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:51,898

...with a 28-year-old cheerleader

with a fat lip.

00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,778

-Hey, you're right.

-Yeah.

00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:04,035

Thanks.

00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,374

What photo album was it?

00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:13,920

I don't know. It was you

and a bunch of albino kids.

00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,759

Oh, my God. Those eeren't albino kids.

00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,011

That eas computer camp. Rach.

00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:27,767

-Hey.

-Hey.

00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:31,437

-You're a pathetic loser, right?

-Oh, yeah.

00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:33,814

Sit.

00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:41,197

JOSHUA:

Hi.

00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,824

Oh, my God. Joshua.

00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:45,701

Look.

00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:49,288

All those things I said

about not being ready--

00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:52,041

-They're not true?

-No, they're all true.

00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,501

Oh.

00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:55,878

But....

00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,338

Oh.

00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:00,758

Oh, I love that "but."

00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:13,646

Um, do you eant to go inside

and get some coffee?

00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:15,856

-Yeah.

-Okay.

00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:17,400

[CLEARS THROAT]

00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:25,032

Every time.

00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:32,707

-Ooh, ehat do you got there?

-Pastrami.

00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:34,667

Yeah.

00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:38,838

-Hey, you know what goes good with that?

-Mm-hm. Corned beef.

00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:43,718

Ooh, I was going to say bologna.

But that's better.

00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:47,388

-Hoe about a little of that smoked turkey?

-Okay.

00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:51,225

Oh, Mama.

00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:55,021

-When is the baby due?

-Six months.

00:21:55,188 --> 00:21:56,397

[GROANS]

00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,774

Hey, noe, if a coe should die

of natural causes...

00:21:58,942 --> 00:22:01,027

...I could have one of those, right?

00:22:01,194 --> 00:22:03,279

Not if I get there first.

00:22:07,784 --> 00:22:09,785

[English - US - SDH]