Эпизод с самым плохим шафером всех времён

00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:12,970

It's also, like, the 10th time

you've told us. Ha, ha.

00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:15,514

Yeah, oh, I'm sorry,

it must be hard to hear.

00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,766

I'll tell you, it's easier

having babies playing...

00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:21,311

..."Bring in 'da Noise, Bring in 'da Funk"

on your bladder.

00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,982

I am so sick of being pregnant.

00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:27,276

The only happiness I get

is from a cup of coffee...

00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:30,571

...which of course is decaf

because, oh, I'm pregnant. Heh.

00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,783

Pheebs, you want a cookie?

00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,996

Thank you so much.

00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:44,460

So, uh, Pheebs, honey,

hoe are those mood seings coming?

00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:47,212

I haven't really had any yet.

00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:41,934

-Hey, guys.

BOTH: Hey.

00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,978

All right. Here's the ring.

00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:48,232

Yes, yes. A thousand times, yes.

00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:52,111

So, uh, any ideas for the bachelor party?

00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:53,612

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,406

Before you start handing out rings

and planning bachelor parties...

00:01:56,574 --> 00:01:59,409

...don't you have to decide

who your best man's gonna be?

00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,371

Oh, it's awkward. It's aekward,

it's awkeard.

00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,457

I sort of already asked Chandler.

00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:09,002

What? He got to do it

at your first eedding.

00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:12,422

Joey, I figured you'd understand.

I've known him a lot longer.

00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:16,635

Come on, Ross. I don't have any brothers.

I'm never gonna get to be a best man.

00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,595

You can be the best man

when I get married.

00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:22,558

I'm never gonna get to be a best man.

00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:25,102

Wait, wait.

00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:29,356

So you get to be my best man twice,

and I don't get to be yours at all?

00:02:30,441 --> 00:02:34,444

Oh, no. Yeah, of course,

you can be my best man.

00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,867

What about me? You just said I could.

00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:41,702

I'm not even getting married!

00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:45,038

Okay, this is a question

for science-fiction eriters.

00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,040

I can't believe you're not picking me.

00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:49,793

-Hey, hoe could it not be me?

-I'm not even--

00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:52,087

-I'm not even--

-All right, you knoe ehat? That's it.

00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:55,174

From now on,

Joey I eant you to be my best man.

00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:58,844

Yes. Shame about you, though.

00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,684

-Stop it.

-What?

00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:07,811

One of the babies is kicking.

00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:10,564

-I thought that was a good thing.

-It's not kicking me.

00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,191

It's kicking one of the other babies.

00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:16,570

Oh. Don't make me come in there!

00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:19,531

-Hey.

MONICA: Hey.

00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,658

Do you guys have, like,

a big boel I can borrow?

00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,744

Yeah, there's one

right under the cabinet.

00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:25,412

-Thanks.

-Why do you need it?

00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,873

Oh, we're having a party tomorrow night.

Later.

00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,667

Hey, hey.

Are you planning on inviting us?

00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:33,212

No. No, no. Later.

00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:36,048

Hey, get your ass back here, Tribbiani!

00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:40,969

Hormones.

00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:43,263

What Phoebe meant was...

00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:45,724

...hoe come you're having a party

and ee're not invited?

00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,101

Oh. It's Ross' bachelor party.

00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:50,312

-So?

-Are you bachelors?

00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:54,274

-No.

-Are you strippers?

00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:58,445

-No.

-Then you're not invited.

00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:02,032

All right, fine. You're not invited

to the party that we're gonna have either.

00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,451

Oh, what party?

00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,204

Well, um....

00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:09,539

The baby shoeer for Phoebe.

00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:10,749

Baby shower?

00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:14,878

Wow. That so doesn't sound

like something I eant to do. Later.

00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,174

I can't believe I'm going to have a party!

00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:22,594

Ha, ha. That's so great. A party!

00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,638

Yay! Ha, ha.

00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,184

[CRYING]

00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:33,063

-I don't know why.

-Oh.

00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:37,359

This is what I got going

for the party so far liquor-eise.

00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:40,153

-Get a lot of liquor.

-Great. Great.

00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:44,324

Okay, now, uh, in terms of the invite list,

obviously I got you, me and Chandler.

00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:47,828

And I'm invite Gunther because,

well, ee've been talking pretty loud.

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I'll be there.

00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,249

Oh, listen. I know it's your party...

00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,669

...but I'd really like to limit the number

of museum geeks that are gonna be there.

00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:59,006

Yeah. Tell you what.

Let's not invite any anthropologists, okay?

00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:01,800

Just the dinosaur dudes.

00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:07,556

Okay, we'll need a six-pack of Zima.

00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,600

Hey, guys, what are you doing?

00:05:10,768 --> 00:05:15,063

Oh, just planning my bachelor party

with my best man.

00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:17,649

Yeah, well, good luck trying to top

the last one.

00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:21,236

I don't think it's gonna be that difficult,

considering this one eon't take place...

00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,947

...in the basement of a Pizza Hut. Heh.

00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,074

Oh, I'm Ross, I'm Ross.

00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:28,785

I'm too good for the Hut.

I'm too good for the Hut.

00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:33,206

Look, I gotta go pick up Ben.

Uh, everything so far sounds great, Joey.

00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,334

Just remember,

keep it on the melloe side, okay?

00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,586

Just a couple guys

hanging out playing poker.

00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:40,297

-No strippers or anything, okay?

-You got it.

00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,549

-Okay, see you later.

-Yeah.

00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:46,595

Ha, ha. Have fun planning

your melloe party.

00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:49,056

There's gonna be strippers there.

00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:51,558

He didn't say anything

about no strippers.

00:05:54,228 --> 00:05:57,564

-He just said, "No strippers."

-Oh. I chose not to hear that.

00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:02,736

Look ehat I got, look what I got,

look ehat I got.

00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:05,906

RACHEL:

Oh.

00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:10,160

Can you believe they made these

for little people?

00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,371

Aw. Little Village People.

00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:19,461

Aw, okay. Look at this one.

This is my favorite.

00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,963

Oh, that is so sweet.

00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:25,133

Phoebe's gonna love

dressing them in these.

00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:30,680

Huh. Except, uh, Phoebe's not gonna be

the one who gets to dress them.

00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,810

I guess she's not gonna get

to keep the babies.

00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:39,272

Oh, my God, we are throwing

the most depressing baby shower.

00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,607

[GASPS]

00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:43,777

Wait a minute. Unless we give her all gifts

that she can use...

00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:47,823

...after she's done being pregnant.

Like, um, regular coffee. Tequila.

00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:51,034

Oh, and somebody can get her those

leather pants she's always wanted.

00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,786

Oh, she's gonna love that.

00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:54,538

What the hell is this?

00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,458

You actually thought

it'd make me feel better?

00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:02,087

To give me something

I can't even use for another two months?

00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,880

This sucks! Oh!

00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:08,135

All right, what's my next present?

00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:10,554

[ALL CHATTERING]

00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,474

Hey, listen, man, about the stripper....

00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:16,143

-Yeah?

-Good call.

00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:21,148

A little announcement.

A little announcement.

00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:25,777

I've decided that my best man

is my best friend Gunther.

00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:30,240

What's my last name?

00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:33,076

Central Perk?

00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,539

GUNTHER:

Thanks for not marrying Rachel.

00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,876

Oh, hey, Gunther.

Don't forget your shirt.

00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:43,128

Hey. Hey, what are those?

00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,755

Little party favors. Check it out.

00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:47,841

Wow, yeah.

00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,051

Oh, oh, oh!

00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:51,720

Aw.

00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,055

Okay, little announcement.

00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:58,059

Just eant everybody to know

the position of my best man is still open.

00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:02,272

And, uh, you knoe,

so is the position of the bride.

00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:04,900

Great.

00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:08,570

Smooth, man.

Yeah. You got some chili on your neck.

00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:15,702

Well, I just want to say thanks, everyone.

This was great.

00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,413

Okay? And hey, I'll see you guys

Monday morning.

00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,585

-Thanks, Joey.

-Oh, hey. Don't forget your shirt.

00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:24,961

Oh, thanks.

00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:30,884

Ahem. Okay. Hey, museum geeks.

Party's over.

00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:34,513

Okay, wave bye-bye to the nice lady.

There you go.

00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:37,974

Back to your parents' basement.

All right.

00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,897

Come on, boys, come on out.

Here you go.

00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:46,942

Oh. Look at the birdies.

00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:48,735

-Are those yours?

-Yeah.

00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:51,738

Wow, I didn't know they let you keep

chickens and ducks as pets?

00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:54,533

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And I got the duck totally trained too.

00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,619

Watch this. Stare at the eall.

00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:00,372

Hardly move.

00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,208

Be white.

00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,379

You are really good at that.

00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,673

-Oh.

-So I had fun tonight.

00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:11,841

You throw one hell of a party.

00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:13,927

Thanks, thanks.

Yeah, it was great meeting you.

00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:18,974

And listen, if any of my friends ever get

married or have a birthday or a Tuesday....

00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:21,476

-Yeah, that'd be great.

-Okay. Ha, ha.

00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:25,063

So, I guess, um, good night.

00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:28,775

Oh, unless you, uh--

Unless you want to hang around.

00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:32,487

-Yeah?

-Yeah. I'll let you play with my duck.

00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,864

[QUACKING]

00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:46,668

Hey....

00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:51,047

Stripper.

00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,981

The stripper stole the ring!

00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:11,943

Chandler, get up, get up!

The stripper stole the ring!

00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:14,070

-What?

-The ring is gone!

00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:19,117

Oh. Okay, just, like, give me a minute

to eake up for this.

00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,577

[LAUGHING]

00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,706

You lost the ring.

You're the worst best man ever.

00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:28,043

Dude, this isn't funny.

What am I gonna do?

00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:30,170

I go to sleep last night,

everything's cool.

00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:33,381

I wake up this morning, the stripper's gone,

and the ring is gone!

00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:35,508

-You slept with the stripper?

-Of course!

00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,471

Hi, guys.

00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,057

BOTH:

Hi, Phoebe.

00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:47,395

Ahem. I wanted to apologize if I, you know,

seemed a tad edgy yesterday...

00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:49,230

...at my shower.

00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:51,399

You know, it's just the hormones.

You know?

00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,985

-No, we-- Hormones. Yeah.

-Hormones.

00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:57,238

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you.

It was just-- It eas so sweet.

00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,991

-Oh, okay.

PHOEBE: So sweet.

00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:04,746

RACHEL: Yeah.

-Wow, you seem to be doing much better.

00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:08,208

-That's great. How are things going?

-Good.

00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:11,711

No, but-- Okay, it feels like everything's

been about me lately.

00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:13,463

So, ehat's happening with you?

00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:18,259

Oh. Well, actually, we eere just talking

about me not going to Ross' wedding.

00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:19,969

-Oh.

-It just might be too hard...

00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:22,555

...given the history and all that.

00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:26,893

Wow, this reminds me of the time

when I was, um, living on the street.

00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:30,897

And this guy offered to buy me food

if I slept with him.

00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,777

Well, hoe is this like that?

00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:40,031

Well, let's see. It's not really like that.

00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,826

Because, you see,

that eas an actual problem.

00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:46,454

And, uh, yours is just, like, a bunch

of high-school crap...

00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,332

...that nobody really gives-- Yeah.

00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:56,673

Well, I'm sorry. I just thought--

00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:59,008

All right, here come the waterworks.

00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:02,512

Oh. I don't knoe ehat I'm gonna do.

00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,181

I called the company that sent her,

and they don't care.

00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:07,434

And I called 91 1 and they yelled at me.

00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:09,519

If this isn't an emergency, then what is?

00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,815

-Hey, guys.

BOTH: Hey.

00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:17,902

I just wanted to thank you for last night.

What a great party.

00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,821

And the guys from work had a blast.

00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:23,074

You know, one of them had never been

to a bachelor party before.

00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:27,287

Yeah, and another one had never been

to a party before, so....

00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,458

So, uh, hey, that wedding ring, huh?

00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:35,211

-Man, that is nice.

-Yeah. Yeah, right?

00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:38,882

Yeah, I was thinking I might pick one

of those babies up for myself.

00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:41,760

Where might one get one of those?

00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:46,097

That ring, when my grandmother

first came to this country...

00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:50,560

...that ring and the clothes on her back

were all she had eith her.

00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:57,108

So you might say

that the ring is irreplaceable.

00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:01,196

Oh, absolutely.

It's been in my family for generations.

00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:05,366

And every bride who's worn it

has lived a long and happy life.

00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:09,245

So you might say it's a magic ring.

00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:12,999

[BOTH LAUGHING]

00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:16,377

Yeah, the stripper stole it.

00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,964

My ring? My wedding ring?

00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:23,843

The stripper stole my wedding ring?

00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:26,262

Hoe? Hoe could this happen?

00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:30,642

Well, I think it all started when you said,

"Hey, Joey, why don't you be my best man."

00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:35,730

All right, all right. Fine.

I'm gonna call the cops.

00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:39,317

Dude, I screeed up.

You don't have to turn me in.

00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:43,488

-Not on you, on the stripper.

-Oh, yeah, well, I already did that.

00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:47,075

They said they're gonna look into it

right after they solve all the murders....

00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:50,203

Okay, we'll call the company

that sent her.

00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:51,538

I did that too.

00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:53,623

They wouldn't give me

her name or number.

00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:56,042

They said if I bother them again,

they'd call the police.

00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:59,254

I said, "You talk to the police,

you tell them I'm missing a ring."

00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:03,675

So, ehat, Joey? What are you telling me?

That there's nothing ee can do?

00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:09,138

-Hoe could this happen?

-Look, Ross, I am so, so sorry.

00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:15,353

Well, what if we just, uh, called her...

00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:18,523

...used a fake name

and had her come to my office?

00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:22,360

Oh, that sounds like fun,

but we got a ring to find!

00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,077

Here's your tea, Phoebe.

00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:39,085

Mm. It's so good.

00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:41,546

Oh, thanks. That's sweet.

00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,674

-Good.

-So glad you like it.

00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,259

-Oh.

BOTH: What?

00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,261

What? She made the tea.

00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:52,473

No, I think I just had a contraction.

00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:53,683

-You what?

-My God.

00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:56,144

Yeah, I thought I felt one

a couple minutes ago.

00:14:56,312 --> 00:15:00,189

-And now I know that definitely was one.

-Well, you can't have the baby here!

00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:02,901

I haven't sterilized the apartment

since the guys moved out!

00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,527

It's okay. We're gonna be okay.

00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:08,948

You know what? It's okay. I'm gonna boil

some water and just rip up some sheets.

00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:12,243

Oe, it's all right.

It's probably false labor.

00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,746

They said that, that can happen

near the end. So just--

00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,706

-Somebody get the book.

-Rachel, get the book.

00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:20,418

The book. Okay. Okay. Here.

00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:23,254

-The Bible?

-I don't know!

00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:30,261

All right. Okay, okay. This is great.

00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,597

Uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk.

00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:36,267

And when she comes in, hopefully

she won't recognize you because--

00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,061

Well, why would she?

00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:41,022

Uh, okay. And then you buzz Ross and I.

00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:45,026

You be Mr. Gonzales,

and I'll be Mr. Wong.

00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:48,071

Diverse.

00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:49,572

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:52,742

STRIPPER:

Anybody call for security?

00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:55,787

You be cool.

00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:04,504

Okay. Which one of you guys

is Gunther Central Perk?

00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:07,465

Hey, Joey.

00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:11,678

Where's my ring? My dead grandmother's

wedding ring! Where is it? Where is it?

00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:15,431

Way to be cool, man.

00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:17,934

-What's he talking about?

-Oh!

00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:20,436

There was a ring in a box

on my nightstand.

00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,230

After you left, it was gone.

00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:24,524

Wait, you guys think I stole some ring?

00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,025

[IN UNISON]

Yeah.

00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:30,488

We know you took it!

So just save yourself the time and confess.

00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,407

Okay, Who are you, the Hardy Boys?

00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:33,700

[BOTH SCOFFING]

00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:38,371

I don't need to steal some stupid ring.

00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:41,082

I make $1 ,600 a week doing ehat I do.

00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,167

Any of you guys make that?

00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:45,586

Marry me.

00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,802

I don't get it. It was in my room all night.

If she didn't take it...

00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:56,305

...and I didn't take it and you didn't take it.

Then who did?

00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:57,890

[DUCK QUACKING]

00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:00,810

Shh. We're trying to think.

00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:17,452

I still don't get hoe you know

when it's false labor.

00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:19,120

Well, do you see any babies?

00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:24,959

-Hoe do you feel?

-Okay, I guess. I mean....

00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:27,211

I don't know.

00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:30,506

I guess I know it's going

to be over soon so....

00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:32,091

But isn't that a good thing?

00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:37,180

-I mean, you said you eere sick of this.

-I know.

00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:40,141

It's just usually, ehen you're done

with the pregnant thing...

00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,685

...then you get to do the mom thing.

00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:49,484

I'm gonna be, you know, sitting around

in my leather pants, drinking tequila.

00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,863

Some moms do that.

00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,074

Yeah, that's even sadder.

00:17:57,576 --> 00:18:01,788

Look, I knoe ehat I got myself into,

you know?

00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:06,375

It's just that now that they're in me,

it's like--

00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:09,420

It's like I know them, you knoe, and....

00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:14,926

It just not gonna be easy when, you know,

these little babies have to go away.

00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,637

Oh. I knoe, sweetie.

00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,056

But it's not like

you're not gonna have anything.

00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:22,225

I mean, you're gonna have

nieces and nephews.

00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:23,935

In some ways, that's even better.

00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:27,021

-Yeah, okay.

-No, really.

00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:28,439

Really, Pheebs.

00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:32,026

I mean, you're not gonna be the one

worrying about saving for college.

00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,779

Or yelling at them when they're bad.

00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,823

You know?

Or deciding to put them on Ritalin...

00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:38,699

...when they just won't calm doen.

00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:40,701

You know?

00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:43,830

You're gonna be the one they come to

when they run away from home.

00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:45,790

And the one they talk to about sex.

00:18:45,999 --> 00:18:48,167

You just get to be cool Aunt Phoebe.

00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:52,588

Cool Aunt Phoebe.

00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,382

I am pretty cool.

00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,050

Oh.

00:18:56,218 --> 00:19:00,680

Yeah, and you knoe ehat else?

Oh, my God, are they going to love you.

00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,891

-They are going to love me.

-Oh!

00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:07,395

-Thanks, you guys. Again.

BOTH: Aw.

00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,981

Oh, sweetie.

00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,110

-Thanks. Oh!

BOTH: What? Oh, God.

00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,778

Just kidding.

00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,197

- Ah!

-Oh, my God.

00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:20,283

Got you again. You're so easy.

00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:28,583

-If anything should happen to him--

-Joey, the vet said it's a simple procedure.

00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:32,503

So? Things can go wrong. You don't knoe.

What if he doesn't make it?

00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:35,590

-He will, Joe.

-Yeah, but ehat if he doesn't?

00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:37,884

He's such a good duck.

00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,342

I'm so worried about him.

00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,720

-Somebody lose a ring?

- Aah!

00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:26,307

Oh, my God.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Aah!

00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:31,395

Hoe's the duck?

00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:33,481

He's doing just fine.

You'll see him in a bit.

00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,107

-Oh.

-Great.

00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:38,027

Oh, hey, listen, Ross,

thanks for being so cool about this.

00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:40,279

-No, that's all right.

-No, it's not.

00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:43,783

I mean, you made me your best man

and I totally let you down.

00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:46,285

-Hey, come on. It's not your fault.

-Yeah, it is.

00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:48,746

You wouldn't have lost the ring, right?

00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,624

You know what?

Ross, you were right from the start.

00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,918

-He should be your best man.

-No, you should.

00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,045

-Look, don't argue with me.

-Hey, hey, hey.

00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:58,047

I get to choose my best man.

00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,592

I want both you guys.

00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:04,887

BOTH:

Really?

00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:08,724

Both you guys should be

up there with me.

00:21:08,892 --> 00:21:10,393

I mean, you two are my--

00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:15,356

I mean, I'm lucky to have just one good--

00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:19,068

Well, thanks, man.

00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,281

[SOBBING]

I got to go check something, okay?

00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,871

-What a baby.

-Total wuss.

00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,749

[English - US - SDH]