Эпизод с сэндвичем Росса

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Top of the world?

00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:09,925

Dock of the bay?

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I'm out.

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- Oh, ew, undies! Oh.

RACHEL: Oh!

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All right, whose are they?

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- Whose are they?

ROSS: Not mine.

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Joey's. Got to be Joey's.

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They're mine.

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See, Joey's. They're Joe-Joe-Joey's.

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Why are they here?

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I don't know, uh...

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I'm Joey.

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I'm disgusting.

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I take my underwear off

in other people's homes.

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Get them out of here.

What's wrong with you?

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- Yeah.

- Yeah.

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- Take them!

- I got them.

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You can touch them. They're yours.

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Chandler? A word?

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Yeah.

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I'm tired of covering for you two.

This has got to stop. Aah.

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Tighty-whiteys? What are you, 8?

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Thank you, Joey, so much.

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You're not welcome, okay?

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Look, I hate this.

You guys keep embarrassing me.

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Yesterday, Rachel found

your razor in our bathroom.

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I said it was mine, and that

I was playing a woman in a play.

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Then one thing led

to another and...

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And around the ankles,

that is a tough spot.

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It was. All right, listen...

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All this lying has been

hard on us too.

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Yeah, I bet all the sex

makes it easier.

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Yeah, actually.

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We'll be more careful.

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We don't want them to know,

because it's going really well.

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And maybe it's going well

because it's a secret.

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It sounds weird,

but we're so bad at relationships.

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- We are. Help us.

- Help.

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All right. But you do it with me once.

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Joey!

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Didn't think so.

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MONICA: Hey, Phoebe.

CHANDLER: Hey, Pheebs.

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What are you reading?

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Um, Wuthering Heights.

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I have to finish it by tomorrow

for my literature class.

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You're taking a class? That's so cool.

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I really liked

that Lamaze class I took.

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I thought this time I'd go

for something more intellectual...

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...with a less painful final exam.

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That sounds like fun.

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Oh, you should come with me!

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Then I'll have someone to sit with.

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Okay.

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Yay! Okay.

Ooh, but, do you have time to read it?

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I read it in school.

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This is going to be so much fun!

Shh. I have to finish.

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Hi.

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What's wrong, buddy?

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Someone at work ate my sandwich.

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What did the police say?

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My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich.

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I can't believe someone ate it.

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It's just a sandwich.

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Just a sandwich?

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I am 30 years old, okay?

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I'll be divorced twice and

I got evicted.

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That sandwich was

the only good thing in my life!

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Someone ate the only good thing

going on in my life!

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I have enough for one more sandwich.

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I was going to eat it myself, but...

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Mon, that would be incredible.

Thank you so much.

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I still can't believe someone ate it!

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Look, I left a note and everything.

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"Knock-knock."

"Who's there?"

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"Ross Geller's lunch."

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"Ross Geller's lunch, who?"

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"Ross Geller's lunch.

Please don't take me. Okay?"

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I'm surprised you didn't wear it home.

Ha-ha-ha.

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Want to keep your food?

Scare people off.

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I learned that on the street.

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Really?

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What would you say, Pheebs?

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Stuff like, uh,

"Keep your mitts off my grub."

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Do you picture Phoebe on the street

with the entire cast of Annie?

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This'll keep them away from your stuff.

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ALL:

Whoa!

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Phoebe, you are a badass!

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Someday I'll tell you

how I stabbed the cop.

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- Phoebe.

- He stabbed me first!

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The Brontë sisters were

remarkable women for their time.

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They lived in a patriarchal society.

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Sorry I'm late, but I left late.

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- Ahem.

- Okay.

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So, what is the book about?

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Didn't you read it in high school?

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I started it, but then

there was this pep rally.

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And I was on top of the pyramid.

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But anyway, um...

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...what's the book about?

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It's a tragic love story

between Cathy and Heathcliff.

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It takes place on these

creepy moors in England.

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Which I think represent the wildness

of Heathcliff's character.

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I totally get symbolism.

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How would you characterize

the theme of this book?

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Uh, let's see... Rachel Green?

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Ahem, um...

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I would have to say

that it's a tragic love story.

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That's sort of a given...

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...but, yes. Anyone else?

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Oh, oh, oh. Symbolism!

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And the wildness of the moors...

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...which I think, is mirrored...

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...in the wildness

of, uh, Heathcliff's character.

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Excellent! What Rachel

has shrewdly observed here...

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You completely stole my answer!

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Honey, that was pretty obvious.

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How would you know?

You didn't read it!

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What do you think?

Uh, you in the blue shirt?

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I think that, um, yours is a question

with many possible answers.

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Would you care to venture one?

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Are you just repeating me?

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All right. Let's move on.

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Okay, then.

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Why didn't you say

you hadn't read the book?

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I didn't want him to think I was stupid.

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That was really embarrassing,

what happened to you.

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- Phoebe! Phoebe!

- Yeah?

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Your note?

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Amazing!

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Not only did no one

touch my sandwich...

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...but people at work are

actually afraid of me.

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A guy called me "Mental."

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"Mental Geller."

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I've always wanted

a cool nickname like that.

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The best you got in high school

was, uh, "Wet Pants Geller."

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It was the water fountain, okay?

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Anyway...

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...people are writing reports for me...

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...uh, pushing back deadlines

to fit my schedule.

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I tell you,

you get tough with people...

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...and you can get anything you want.

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Hey, Tribbiani!

Give me that coffee! Now!

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This was really fun.

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I've been wondering

if you'd ask me out.

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So you, uh, still wondering?

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No. We just went out.

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You're smart.

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I like that.

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[BANGING]

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CHANDLER:

Oh.

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Oh, candles!

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What is that, a blanket?

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A video camera? Oh, my God!

00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,038

No, no, no. Wait.

00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:47,335

I can't believe you thought you'd

tape us having sex on the first date!

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Hi.

00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,470

Joey, is what she just said, um...

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Oh, my God!

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You're actually going...

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What is going on here?

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And with Chandler in the next room.

What are you, sick?

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I'm Joey.

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I mean, I'm disgusting.

00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,545

I make low-budget adult films.

00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,052

Huh.

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You promised to be more careful!

00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:46,311

The good Joey name's been

dragged through the mud!

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We're so sorry.

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I'm telling everyone.

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It's the only explanation that

doesn't make me look like a pig!

00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,323

No, there's a better explanation.

00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:02,077

Tell them you had to make

an adult film for your...

00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:04,537

...adult film class.

00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,457

I like that. But no!

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How does that explain

my underwear at your place?

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I don't know.

00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:17,467

Get ready to come out

of the non-gay closet.

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I promise to come up with something.

Just give us time.

00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,182

All right.

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But it better make me look really good.

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And another thing:

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The video camera?

00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:33,566

Nice!

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Ross?

00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:44,452

May I have a word?

00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:45,995

Of course, Donald.

00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:51,126

We've been getting reports

of very angry behavior on your part.

00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,836

- What?

- Threatening letters...

00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:54,963

...refusal to meet deadlines.

00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,800

Apparently people now call you Mental.

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Yeah.

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We want you to speak to a psychiatrist.

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Oh, no. Uh, you...

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You don't understand. This is so silly.

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Um, this is all just

because of a sandwich.

00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:16,860

A sandwich?

00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:21,656

You see, my sister makes

these amazing turkey sandwiches.

00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:26,953

Her secret is, she puts an extra slice

of gravy-soaked bread in the middle.

00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:29,038

I call it "The Moistmaker."

00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,500

Anyway, I put my sandwich

in the fridge...

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Ha-ha-ha. Oh, you know what?

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I'm sorry.

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I believe I ate that.

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You ate my sandwich?

00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,640

A simple mistake.

It can happen to anyone.

00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:48,933

Oh, really?

00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:56,524

Did you confuse it with your own

turkey sandwich with a Moistmaker?

00:12:57,401 --> 00:12:58,443

No, I...

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Do you, perhaps, remember...

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...seeing a note on top of it?

00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:08,453

There may have been a joke

or limerick of some kind.

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That said it was...

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...my sandwich!

00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:14,918

Now calm down.

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Look in my office.

Some may be in the trash.

00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:21,382

What?

00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:26,095

It was quite large.

I had to throw most of it away.

00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,850

You threw my sandwich away?

00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:36,231

My sandwich?

00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:39,484

- Hi.

- Hi.

00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,277

What's this book about?

00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:42,862

You didn't read it, either?

00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:46,658

I was going to, but I, uh, accidentally

read something else.

00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,660

- What?

- Vogue.

00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,455

So tell me about Jane Eyre.

00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:54,207

No, read it yourself.

00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:57,293

Come on,

don't be such a goody-goody.

00:13:58,254 --> 00:13:59,504

Fine.

00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,841

All right. So Jane Eyre?

00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,760

First you'd think she's a woman,

but she's not.

00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:07,345

She's a cyborg.

00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:12,308

A cyborg? Isn't that like a robot?

00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:16,312

This book was light years

ahead of its time.

00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:20,316

INSTRUCTOR: Sorry I'm late.

Let's get started.

00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,987

What did you think of Jane Eyre?

00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:29,409

Um, Rachel and I were discussing it,

and she had very interesting insights.

00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,120

Go ahead, Rachel.

00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:34,747

Um, thank you, Phoebe.

00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,961

What struck me most

when reading Jane Eyre...

00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:43,339

...was, uh, how the book was

so ahead of its time.

00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:47,343

If you're talking about feminism,

I think you're right.

00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:52,891

Well, feminism, yes. But also the robots.

00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,147

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,735

Since that video camera thing

didn't work out...

00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:08,948

...I thought that I would give you

just a little preview.

00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:10,241

[GASPS]

00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:11,784

You're naked!

00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:13,077

I know!

00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:25,465

Ross?

00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,718

Hey, Chandler.

00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,095

Monica!

00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:33,097

Are you okay?

00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:34,724

I'm fine.

00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,644

I saw a psychiatrist at work today.

00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,062

Why?

00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,272

On account of my rage.

00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:46,069

Which, if I may say,

right now is out of control.

00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,656

He gave me a pill for it.

00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,367

A pill?

00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:55,870

Uh-huh. When the psychiatrist told me

to take a leave of absence...

00:15:56,080 --> 00:16:00,375

...because I yelled at my boss,

I started to get worked up again.

00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:03,294

So he offered me a tranquilizer.

00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:05,838

And I thought it was a good idea.

00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,590

So I took it.

00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:12,387

They're making you take time off work?

00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:13,930

And you're okay with that?

00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,723

I don't know.

00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:19,811

It's going to be weird

not having a job for a while.

00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:23,231

But I definitely don't care

about my sandwich.

00:16:25,734 --> 00:16:30,238

It's so embarrassing! I can't believe

you let me go on like that!

00:16:30,447 --> 00:16:31,864

I'm sorry.

00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:37,996

It was so funny when you compared

Jane Eyre to Robocop.

00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:42,208

That was not funny!

00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:46,004

I snapped, okay?

You weren't taking the class seriously.

00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:48,214

Come on! What is the big deal?

00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:51,175

I thought it'd be something

we could do together.

00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:52,802

I thought it would be fun.

00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:54,387

Fun is good.

00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:56,597

But I also wanted to learn.

00:16:56,849 --> 00:17:01,352

People talk about what they learned

in high school. I never went.

00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:02,937

Oh.

00:17:03,939 --> 00:17:06,524

So you really wanted to learn.

00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:11,571

You know, Pheebs,

I just wanted to have fun.

00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:13,990

You know who should go?

00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:16,325

I know! I know! I know!

00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,830

Monica, you asked the question.

00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,672

Oh, yeah.

00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:34,927

[GASPS]

00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,893

Oh, my God, that's Monica!

00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,103

Oh, no, no, no!

00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:48,900

You get away from me,

you sick, sick, sicko!

00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:50,860

What's going on?

00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:53,529

Joey has got a secret peephole!

00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:56,824

Oh, no, no, no, no!

00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,826

He has a naked picture of Monica!

00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:02,622

He takes naked pictures of us, then

he eats chicken and looks at them!

00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,544

- Look.

- Oh! Dude, that's my sister!

00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,088

Give me that!

00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,673

Wait! Everybody calm down, okay?

00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:17,220

Let's give our friend a chance

to explain why he's such a big pervert!

00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:21,015

I am not a pervert, okay?

00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:22,600

It's just...

00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:23,851

I just kind of...

00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:27,647

I think I can explain this.

00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,190

Thank you.

00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,360

Joey's a sex addict.

00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,488

What? No, I'm not!

00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:37,949

It's okay! It's good!

00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,577

It's a disease.

00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,122

I am not a sex addict!

00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:45,790

Yes, you are!

00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:49,210

That's the only way

to explain all this stuff!

00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:51,170

No, it isn't. It's not.

00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,965

Because you could also explain it

with the truth!

00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:56,259

What is the truth?

00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,261

- What's up?

- What's going on?

00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:06,144

I slept with Monica.

00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:15,862

Well, let's see what everybody

thinks of that.

00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:20,783

Oh, no.

00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:23,703

You slept with my sister?

00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,330

Uh, yes, but it was...

00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,666

We just did it once, uh, in London.

00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,710

This is not good for my rage.

00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,336

[PILLS SHAKE]

00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,549

Monica.

00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:37,758

Is this true?

00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,260

Of course, it's true.

00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:44,390

How else would you explain all the

weird stuff that's been going on?

00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:47,018

Yes, it's true.

00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:53,191

If it happened once, how come we

found your underwear in our apartment?

00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:56,194

Uh... Oh!

00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:59,447

That was the underwear

I was wearing that night in London.

00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:00,990

Right, Monica?

00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:06,287

I guess I wanted to keep it...

00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:08,789

...as a souvenir.

00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:12,752

My God, Monica!

00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:17,048

Are you sure you're not

just a sex addict?

00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:19,926

No!

00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:23,346

If anyone's a sex addict here,

it's Monica.

00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:28,517

She has been trying to get me back

in the sack ever since London!

00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:32,396

That's why she gave you

a naked picture of herself.

00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,065

That makes sense.

00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,151

And the video camera?

00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,111

Uh, Monica?

00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:46,077

I guess I set up the video camera

to try and entice Joey.

00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:50,331

But, sadly, I could not be enticed.

00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,084

Unbelievable!

00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:56,003

You really kept Joey's underwear?

00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,714

Why? Why would you do that?

00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:03,970

I'm Monica.

00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:06,555

I'm disgusting.

00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:11,185

I stalk guys and keep their underpants.

00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:16,190

Well...

00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:20,403

I think we've all learned

who's disgusting and who's not.

00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:21,988

Huh?

00:21:22,155 --> 00:21:23,197

All right.

00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:26,242

Now, I'm going to get back

to my bucket.

00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:30,913

I'm only eating the skin,

so the chicken's up for grabs.

00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:39,505

You were making a good point.

00:21:39,756 --> 00:21:41,674

I mean, till you got cut off.

00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:44,385

What's up with that girl Monica?

00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:46,470

I don't know. I didn't come with her.

00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:51,017

Hey, everybody!

Everybody, guess what!

00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:53,519

I just convinced Carl to give us a test.

00:21:53,770 --> 00:21:54,854

Test?

00:21:55,105 --> 00:21:57,898

Come on!

Tests make us all better learners!

00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:02,778

Oh, yeah!

We should have essay questions!

00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:09,744

[English - US - SDH]