Эпизод с девушкой, которая ударила Джоуи

00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:10,884

I saw what you were doing

through the window.

00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:14,179

I saw what you were doing to my sister,

now, get out here!

00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:17,683

Well, listen, we had a good run.

00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,768

You know? What was it?

Four, five months?

00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:22,104

I mean, that's more than most people

have in a lifetime.

00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,648

So goodbye, take care, bye-bye then.

00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:28,527

- What are you doing?

- Oh, I'm going on the lam.

00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:31,655

Come on, Chandler. Come on.

I can handle Ross.

00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:33,741

Hold on.

00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:38,454

Hey, Ross. What's up, bro?

00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:44,668

What the hell are you doing?

00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:45,919

Hey, what's going on?

00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:50,174

Well, I think... I think Ross knows

about me and Monica.

00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:53,927

Dude, he's right there.

00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:59,224

I thought you were my best friend.

This is my sister.

00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:02,478

My best friend and my sister.

I cannot believe this.

00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:06,482

We're not just messing around.

I love her.

00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,442

Okay? I'm in love with her.

00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,529

I'm so sorry that you

had to find out this way.

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I'm sorry, but it's true. I love him too.

00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,709

My best friend and my sister.

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I cannot believe this.

00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:36,762

You guys want to probably get

some hugs in too, huh? Big news.

00:01:36,971 --> 00:01:40,265

Oh, no, that's okay.

We've actually known for a while.

00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:46,939

What? What? You guys knew?

00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,775

You all knew and

you didn't tell me?

00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,653

Well, Ross, we were worried

about you, okay?

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We didn't know how you were

going to react.

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JOEY:

Mm-mm.

00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:01,120

You were worried about me?

00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:03,705

You didn't know how I was gonna react?

00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:09,169

Okay. All right. Whew.

00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:11,171

What do you say we all, uh,

clear out of here...

00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:14,216

...and let these two love birds

get back down to business.

00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:20,430

Hey, hey, hey. I'm just talking here.

He's the one doing your sister.

00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:05,142

Hey, you know what I just realized?

00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:08,228

- If you guys ever have kids...

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're having kids?

00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:09,730

I call godfather.

00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:14,651

You can't just call godfather.

00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,779

Don't you think her brother

should be godfather?

00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:20,407

Sure. If you cared enough to call it first.

00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:26,330

- Guys, you're a few steps ahead of us.

- Yeah, big zero-gravity moon steps.

00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:29,666

Oh, oh, I just thought of

the greatest wedding gift to get you.

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Oh, I'll go in on that with you.

I couldn't think of anything.

00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:36,465

Hey, Katie.

00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,050

- Hey, everyone, this is Katie.

- Hi.

00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,593

ALL: Hi.

JOEY: You ready to go?

00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:41,678

- Yeah, just gotta run to the bathroom.

- Sure.

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- Hey, where are we going to lunch?

- I was thinking maybe Chinese food.

00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:46,600

I love Chinese.

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How did you know I love Chinese?

00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,355

[JOEY CHUCKLES]

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She is so cute.

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You could fit her

right in your little pocket.

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I don't know. I mean, I like her a lot,

and she's really nice, but...

00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,201

But what?

00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,829

She keeps punching me.

00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,709

In the cute little, sweet way she just did?

00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:15,545

Hey, it's a lot harder than it looks, okay?

00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,091

She's hurting me.

00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:22,302

I know what you need.

You need a bodyguard.

00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:24,513

Hey, Ross, what is Ben doing

after preschool?

00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,598

[ALL CHUCKLE]

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Okay, come on, Joey is having a problem.

There's a little girl who's beating him up.

00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:33,939

Aw, Joey, come here. Look.

00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:37,567

Honey, I know. This must be

really, really difficult for you, and...

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Oh, I'm sorry, am I hurting you?

00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,618

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

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- Hey.

- Hey.

00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,333

- I brought you some housewarming gifts.

- Oh.

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- Salt, so your life always has flavor.

- Ah.

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- Bread, so you never go hungry.

- Oh.

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And a scented candle for the bathroom.

00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,344

Because, well, you know.

00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:09,766

Well, thanks. Thanks.

And thanks, I guess.

00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:15,522

Hi. Welcome to the building. I'm Steve Cera,

President of the tenants' committee.

00:05:15,773 --> 00:05:18,608

Oh, hi. Ross Geller.

And, uh, this is my friend Phoebe.

00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:21,403

- Hi, Phoebe.

- Mr. President.

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I, uh, came to talk to you about Howard.

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Howard?

00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:28,827

Yeah, he's the handyman.

He's gonna be retiring next week...

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...and everyone who lives here is kicking in

a hundred bucks...

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...as a "thank you for all the hard work"

type of thing.

00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,625

- Oh, that's nice.

- Yeah.

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So you want to give me a check, or?

00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,381

Oh, uh...

00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:44,176

You don't have to give it to me now.

You can slip it under my door.

00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:48,972

No, no, it's not that. It's just...

I just moved in.

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Well, the guy's worked here

for 25 years.

00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,854

Yes, but I've lived here for 25 minutes.

00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,358

Oh.

00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,777

Okay, I get it.

00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:06,823

Wait. Look, I'm sorry, it's just

I've never even met Howard.

00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:09,409

I mean, I don't know Howard.

00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:12,329

Howard's the handyman.

00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:17,250

Yes, but to me he's just "man."

00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,879

Okay. Fine. Whatever.

00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:23,590

Welcome to the building.

00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,009

[SCOFFS]

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Can you believe that guy?

00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,889

Yeah. I really like his glasses.

00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,689

So then President Steve

told everyone I was a cheapskate...

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...and now the whole building hates me.

00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:44,653

A little kid spit on my knee.

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You know what? I'm gonna throw a party.

That's right, for everyone in the building.

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And I'm gonna sit them all down and

explain to them that I am not a bad guy.

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I am not a cheap guy. I'm just a guy...

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...who stands up for what he believes in.

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A man with principles.

00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:04,881

- Sounds like a fun party.

RACHEL: Mm.

00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:09,136

Look, Ross, if you want

your neighbors to like you...

00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:11,012

...why don't you just pay

the hundred bucks?

00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:14,599

- A party's gonna cost you way more.

- That doesn't matter.

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It's my principles.

We're talking about my principles.

00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:21,773

Okay, I thought it was about

your neighbors liking you.

00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:25,861

Oh, they'll like me once they come

to my awesome par-tay.

00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:30,574

Okay, I gotta run.

I gotta go get some nametags.

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[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]

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And that crazy party animal

will be your brother-in-law.

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Very, very funny. But don't say things

like that in from of Monica.

00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:43,462

I don't want you putting any ideas

in her head.

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Um, Chandler, you do realize

that those ideas...

00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,425

...are probably already in Monica's head?

00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:50,552

Why?

00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:55,724

Well, because she loves you

and because you love her.

00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:58,310

Yeah, so? What's

that supposed to mean?

00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:03,106

Hey, Chandler, don't freak out. I'm

telling you something you already know.

00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:06,443

Come on. She broke up with Richard

because he didn't want to have babies.

00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:11,490

And she's a woman, and she's almost 30,

and, you know, it's Monica.

00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,409

I don't see it that way. Okay?

I see two Monicas:

00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:18,288

The one that was my friend who lives

across the hall and wanted a lot of babies.

00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:24,753

And the new Monica who I started to date.

Now, who is to say what she wants?

00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:29,299

I'm right. I'm right. Am I right?

00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:32,761

Yeah, you're right.

00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,764

You are absolutely right.

I mean, that makes everything different.

00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,516

Okay.

00:08:37,975 --> 00:08:39,309

It's not different, is it?

00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,728

Not unless "different" means the same.

00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:47,901

You were so funny with that waiter.

You're such a nut.

00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:56,743

You know, breadstick fangs

are always funny.

00:08:56,994 --> 00:09:00,080

No, you make them funny.

You're the funny one.

00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:06,044

Uh, look, Katie, uh, listen,

we need to talk, okay?

00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:11,383

Um, look, I like you.

I really do. I like you a lot, okay?

00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:15,011

But sometimes when you

playfully punch me like that...

00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:20,392

...it feels like someone's hitting me

with a very tiny, but a very real bat.

00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:25,105

Oh. Like I could hurt you.

00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:28,024

- Are you making fun of my size?

- No.

00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:31,361

Don't make fun of me because of my size.

00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:39,202

- Isn't this great?

- Mm.

00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,913

Couldn't you just stay like this forever?

00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,376

Chandler?

00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,753

Couldn't you just stay here forever?

00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:52,757

Yeah, here, somewhere else.

You know, wherever. Ha, ha.

00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:56,678

- Are you okay?

- Yeah. I'm cool.

00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,346

Casual.

00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,599

What are you doing?

00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:05,353

Just hanging out. Having fun, you know,

uh, with the girl that I'm seeing casually.

00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,774

Man, I knew it.

I knew you were going to do this.

00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,151

What?

00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:14,613

Get all freaked out because everybody

was joking around about marriage.

00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:18,283

Well, you do want all that stuff, right?

00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:19,951

And you know what I want?

00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:23,121

Yes. You want babies.

You have baby fever.

00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,333

I do not have baby fever.

00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:29,461

Oh, please. You are obsessed

with babies and marriage...

00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:33,840

...and everything that's

related to babies and marriage.

00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:38,094

You know what? Why don't we turn

the heat down on this pressure cooker?

00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:41,348

Have you lost your mind?

00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:42,766

Chandler, this isn't about me.

00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:45,810

This is about you and all your weird

relationship commitment crap.

00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:50,523

Uh-uh. I know you, okay? I know the

thoughts that you have in your head.

00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:52,859

Well, you don't know everything.

00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:56,613

Did you know I'm going out with Rachel

tonight instead of you? Hmm?

00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,907

And that the only baby around here

is you?

00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:02,202

And did you know I can't even

look at you right now?

00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:05,914

Yeah, well, I did not know that.

00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:14,589

It's gonna be okay, right? I mean,

she's not gonna leave me. This is fixable.

00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,841

- Yeah, sure.

- Absolutely.

00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,386

- By me?

- Oh, no, no, no.

00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:24,391

Well, unless you make

some kind of big gesture.

00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:25,600

JOEY:

Yeah, big, though.

00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,395

Shh. The missus.

00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,607

MONICA:

Gunther, can I get a coffee?

00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:34,734

To go.

00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:36,611

CHANDLER:

Monica...

00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:38,571

I'm still not done

not wanting to talk to you.

00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:41,074

Just tell me what I need to do

to make things right.

00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:43,076

- What?

- That's what we do.

00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:46,413

I mess up, you tell me

how to fix it and I do.

00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:49,082

And then, you know,

you think I'm all cute again.

00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,712

I'm really tired of being

your relationship tutor.

00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,880

You're gonna have to

figure this out for yourself.

00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:59,718

You know what? If you're too afraid

to be in a real relationship...

00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,803

...then don't be in one.

00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,565

[FATBOY SLIM'S "FUNK SOUL BROTHER"

PLAYING ON STEREO]

00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,109

Right about now

Funk soul brother

00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:19,279

Check it out now

Funk soul brother

00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:38,423

Right about now

Funk soul brother

00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,632

[MUSIC STOPS]

00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:44,554

NEIGHBORS [CHANTING]:

Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard!

00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,933

[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC

PLAYING ON STEREO]

00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:53,980

Phoebe. Phoebe.

00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,316

Oh, hi, Ross.

00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:57,942

[ALL CHEERING]

00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,611

What are you doing here?

00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:03,531

Oh, I thought this was your party,

and it turns out it's a party for Howard.

00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,742

He's the sweetest little man.

00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:09,829

See you, Phoebe.

Oh, and, hey, thanks for chipping in.

00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,456

Oh, sure.

00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:13,875

You chipped in?

00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,627

Yeah, uh-huh, hundred dollars.

00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:18,755

Phoebe, I can't believe

you gave him money.

00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:23,218

I thought you agreed it was unreasonable

that they asked me for that money.

00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,094

Yeah, but they didn't ask me, you know?

00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:27,722

This way I'm just, you know,

the exotic, generous stranger.

00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,599

That's always fun to be.

00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,435

Yeah, but you're making me look bad.

00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:35,772

No, I'm not. No, if anything,

I'm making you look better.

00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:39,400

They'll see you talking to me,

and I'm a hit.

00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,111

- Hey, Pheebs.

- Hey.

00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:43,863

Oh, hey, Ross.

00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:46,491

Um, say, I was thinking

maybe you two could switch apartments.

00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:49,369

Because Phoebe is more

our kind of people.

00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:50,829

Something to think about it.

00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,292

Yeah, okay, my bad.

00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:08,304

JOEY: Hey.

- Hi.

00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,644

Wow. You look big.

00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:17,355

Thanks, I've been working out.

00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,900

Hey, listen, is it obvious

I'm wearing six sweaters?

00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,986

Uh, yeah.

00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,905

But it's not obvious why.

00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:29,784

Well, look, I'm breaking up with Katie,

so I had to put on some extra padding.

00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:32,161

You know, I mean,

if she hits me when she's happy...

00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:34,247

...can you imagine how hard

she's gonna hit me...

00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,958

...when I tell her I'm taking away

the Joey love?

00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:40,670

JOEY:

Hey.

00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:44,299

Hey. Hey, cute jacket.

00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,092

Oh, thanks.

00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,469

- That's so sweet.

- Whoa. Ow.

00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:49,971

[RACHEL CHUCKLES]

00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,181

Oh, "Ow."

00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:55,393

Did Joey tell you to say that?

You guys are too much.

00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:58,521

Whoa. Ha, ha.

00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:01,190

You know what? I gotta tell you...

00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:03,484

...I think you're the one that is too much.

00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:04,903

[KATIE CHUCKLES]

00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,656

Joey has the nicest friends.

00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,910

And the nicest girlfriend.

00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,330

You're so sweet.

00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:19,042

- You're so sweet.

- Ow!

00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:25,590

KATIE:

Joey?

00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:27,842

She just kicked me.

00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:29,677

Huh.

00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:35,224

Well, aren't you gonna do something?

00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:36,601

Uh...

00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,520

You better do something or I'm gonna

walk out that door right now.

00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:43,483

Well, are you gonna?

00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,319

Nah.

00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:58,623

[POP MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]

00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,502

- Phoebe?

- Ha, ha. That's what I was saying.

00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,629

Phoebe? Phoebe?

00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:08,841

This is a disaster.

Can't I please just go?

00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,843

I'm talking you up to people.

00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:13,721

Just give it a little time, all right? Relax.

Get something to eat.

00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:20,311

So, uh, what did you tell them about me?

00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:24,065

Um, I told them about you and Emily.

You know, trying to get some sympathy.

00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,401

But somehow you came off

as the bad guy.

00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:29,737

- What?

- Yeah, I think I told it wrong.

00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:32,448

We should talk about that...

00:16:32,616 --> 00:16:35,618

...because I don't totally understand

what happened there.

00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,706

Oh. This cake is really good.

00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,083

Okay, see?

Things are looking up already.

00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:46,462

Oh, my God.

Someone cut Howard's cake.

00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:52,719

Who would do a thing like that?

00:16:58,600 --> 00:16:59,767

3-B.

00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:01,394

[ALL GRUMBLING]

00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:05,023

Okay, you got your free food,

you ruined everyone's fun.

00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:08,609

- Don't you think it's time you went home?

ALL: Yeah.

00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:11,821

Yeah, go back to 3-B, 3-B.

00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:14,657

All right, everyone, calm down.

Everyone, calm down.

00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,784

I have something that I would like to say.

00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,205

Who here likes Ross?

00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:27,962

Of course you don't like him.

00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,964

He didn't give you any money.

00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:33,843

He raised his own hand when I asked,

"Who here likes Ross?"

00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:35,970

And he's wearing two nametags.

00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:43,269

I'll be honest with you guys. When I first

met Ross, I didn't like him at all.

00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:48,858

But then once I got to know him,

I saw that he's really sweet...

00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:52,487

...and caring and very generous.

00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:56,532

I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross

before you get to know him, all right?

00:17:56,784 --> 00:18:01,704

You know, I like all of you guys now.

But when I first met you, you know...

00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:04,207

Kurt? I thought, you know, abrasive drunk.

00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:10,004

Um, Lola, mind-numbingly stupid.

00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:16,052

And, okay, you guys:

Gold digger, cradle-robbing perv.

00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:21,974

So I think you all know what I mean.

00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:31,067

Obviously, I didn't think

they were gonna start throwing things.

00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:36,155

I just thought if I kept insulting them

you would jump in and defend everyone.

00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:38,366

Then you could look like the hero.

00:18:38,575 --> 00:18:40,993

Oh, wow, yeah.

00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:42,995

See, I did not get that.

00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:50,545

Where's Monica? Where is she? I need

to talk to her, it's urgent. Is she here?

00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:54,924

- I'm Monica.

- I need to talk to you. It's urgent.

00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:57,635

- Okay.

- Okay, I've been doing a lot of thinking...

00:18:57,886 --> 00:19:01,639

...about us. You know,

a lot of, uh, "us" thinking.

00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:06,352

And, uh, well, I guess there's

only one way to do this.

00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:12,900

- Wait, wait. What are you doing?

- Monica...

00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:14,402

No, no, no. Don't do it.

00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,195

Will you marry me?

00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:22,535

ROSS: Oh, no, no, no.

JOEY: What a bad idea.

00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:24,745

Oh, I can't not look at it.

00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:28,708

Chandler, why are you doing this?

00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,376

I don't know.

00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:33,462

But I know I'm not afraid to do this.

00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:35,548

Chandler.

00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,176

I'm doing this because I'm sorry?

00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:44,807

Do you, um, really think the best reason

to get married is because you're sorry?

00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:47,768

Oh, no, the best reason to get married

is pregnancy.

00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:54,650

Sorry is pretty much fourth, behind being

ready and actually wanting to get married.

00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:55,943

[CHUCKLES]

00:19:56,111 --> 00:19:58,029

Will you be my wife?

00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:02,742

Chandler, um,

I want you to take just a minute...

00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:06,078

...and I want you to think about

how ridiculous this sounds.

00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:12,960

Yeah, I'm kind of wishing

everyone wasn't here right now.

00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:17,340

You know that none of that stuff

came from me.

00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:21,135

I mean, I never said that I wanted

to have babies and get married right now.

00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:24,597

Yeah, I know, I was really confused,

and then I talked to these guys.

00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:27,141

Who? Two divorces and Joey?

00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:30,645

- Hey.

- She's right, you know.

00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:35,233

Yeah, but still, cheap shot.

00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,862

You know when I said that I want you...

00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:43,199

...to deal with relationship stuff

all on your own?

00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:47,495

- Well, you're not ready for that.

- I didn't think I was.

00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,376

Oh, my God.

00:20:53,543 --> 00:20:56,212

What would you have done

if I had said yes?

00:20:56,463 --> 00:20:58,381

Well, I would've been happy because...

00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:02,343

...I would have been able spend

the rest of my life with the woman I love.

00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:06,889

Or you would have seen

a Chandler-shaped hole in that door.

00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:16,440

- Hey, Ross, will you pass me that knife?

- No, I will not.

00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:18,985

It's okay.

You don't have to be so mean about it.

00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:22,196

You're right. I'm sorry.

Will you marry me?

00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:27,785

Oh, and I was going to ask you

to marry me...

00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:30,496

...because I forgot to say hello to you

last week.

00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:33,165

Oh, no, wait, Pheebs.

I think with something like that...

00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:36,210

...you just ask them to move in with you.

But I'm not sure. Chandler?

00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:38,254

Ha, ha, okay,

how long is this gonna go on?

00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:40,506

Well, I think the length of teasing...

00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:43,342

...is directly related

to how insane you were.

00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:45,094

So a long time.

00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:49,557

This is fun. Oh, hey, Rach, remember

that whole "we were on a break" thing?

00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:51,767

Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me?

00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:54,103

[ROSS LAUGHS]

00:21:57,983 --> 00:21:59,483

ALL:

That's not funny.

00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:07,742

[English - US - SDH]