Эпизод с полицейским

00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:13,929

- What are you guys doing up?

- We wanted to finish the crossword before bed.

00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,766

Do you know a six-letter

word for "red"?

00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,102

Dark-red.

00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:25,774

I think that's wrong, but there's a

connect-the-dots in here for you later.

00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:29,111

Hey, how, uh, about maroon?

00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,865

- Yes! You are so smart!

- Ha-ha-ha.

00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:34,408

JOEY:

Aw.

00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,076

You guys are so cute.

00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:37,953

I know.

00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:40,205

All right. I'll see you in the morning.

00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:41,999

BOTH:

Okay.

00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:57,139

You know, I love doing crossword

puzzles with you, honey.

00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:58,348

Oh, me too.

00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:00,976

- Now, let's finish this and go to bed.

- Okay.

00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,603

There's only one left.

00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:06,273

Three-letter word.

Not dog, but...

00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,151

Cat.

00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:11,737

Yes. Ha.

00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,031

You are so smart!

00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,242

I love you.

00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:18,911

I love you too.

00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,621

[MONICA CHUCKLES]

00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,143

RACHEL:

Uh.

00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:25,727

We still need a tip.

00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:28,438

All right. Hold on.

00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:30,399

I got it.

00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:32,693

Nickel.

00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:35,445

- How much more do we need?

- Couple of bucks.

00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,573

Okay, dime.

00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:41,034

You guys should probably keep talking.

This could take a while.

00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:42,870

Wait, lookit!

00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:44,413

Whoa!

00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,456

Oh, my God. This is a police badge!

00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:50,961

Oh, cool. But why would a cop come

in here? They don't serve doughnuts. Ha.

00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,256

Can you discover the badge again?

00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,884

I think I can come up with something

better than that.

00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:00,345

I bet somebody's

missing that badge.

00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:03,640

I should take it back.

Ooh, but while I'm at the police station...

00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,809

...I could check their

Ten Most Wanted list.

00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:09,938

My friend Fritzi's been Number 11 forever.

This could be her year!

00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,568

- Hey, you guys.

MONICA: Hey, Joey.

00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,070

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,656

Is that my sweatshirt?

00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:23,285

Yes, it is. I'm sorry. I borrowed it.

I was cold. I hope it's okay.

00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,914

It's just that, uh, if you wear

someone's sweatshirt...

00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,416

...shouldn't it be your boyfriend's?

00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:31,251

And I'm not him.

00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,046

I'm sorry.

I'll give it back.

00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,464

No, no. No.

00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:38,258

It's going to be all

smelling like Monica.

00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,302

Are you saying I smell bad?

00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:41,511

No.

00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,931

You smell like a meadow.

00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:47,226

I'm sorry.

00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:51,480

What's with him?

00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:56,068

The last time Joey went to a meadow,

his mother was shot by a hunter.

00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:11,458

[GROANS]

00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,754

I still don't know.

00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:19,883

I'm sorry, I just want to make sure

I bought the right couch, one that says:

00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:24,388

"Kids welcome here,"

but that also says

00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,890

"Come here to me."

00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:32,604

What? You say that to kids?

00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:34,064

No, no, no.

00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:38,735

The "Come here to me" is,

you know, for the ladies.

00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,739

Ross, honey, it's a nice couch,

not a magic couch.

00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:46,076

Well, you picked a great couch.

00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,327

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:48,996

- Sign here please.

- Sure.

00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,456

Oh, what's, heh...?

00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:54,084

The delivery charge

is almost as much as the couch!

00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:57,212

That's ridiculous.

He lives three blocks away.

00:04:57,380 --> 00:05:00,424

You know what? I'll take it myself.

Thank you.

00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,759

All right, Rach, come on.

Let's go.

00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,303

RACHEL:

Yeah.

00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:06,847

[ROSS MOANS]

00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,224

[LAUGHS]

00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,268

Are you kidding?

00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:16,231

Come on. It's only three blocks.

Uh, it's not very heavy. Try it.

00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,317

[RACHEL GRUNTS]

00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,655

- Oh, I can do it.

- Yeah.

00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,491

You two will really

enjoy that couch.

00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:29,411

We're, uh, not together.

00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,455

Oh, okay. Yeah. Ha-ha-ha.

00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,415

Something didn't quite add up there.

00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,213

Ross.

00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:42,174

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Ross.

00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,469

Well, you. Her. Heh.

00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,471

I mean, she's very...

00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:48,930

...you know.

00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,807

And you're, like...

00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:52,809

...you know?

00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:59,191

Not that it's any of your business,

but we did go out.

00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,650

Really? You two?

00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:01,860

Yeah. Rach?

00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:05,572

I don't want to do this now.

I'm carrying a heavy couch.

00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,075

Then tell him quickly.

00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,535

Fine. We went out.

00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,996

Not only did we go out...

00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:16,124

...we did it 298 times!

00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,001

Ross.

00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,045

Oh, my...

00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:24,091

Ugh, you kept count?

You are such a loser!

00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:29,096

A loser you did it with 298 times!

00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,435

Oh. Oh!

00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:39,940

Excuse me, ma'am. You can't put

your cigarette out on a tree.

00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,817

Yeah, I can.

It worked well.

00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:45,737

But you shouldn't.

So don't ever do that again.

00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:48,865

I won't till I have

my next cigarette.

00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,325

Hold it!

00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:52,494

NYPD. Freeze, punk!

00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,121

What?

00:06:54,288 --> 00:06:57,916

That's right. You are so busted.

00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,334

Book them.

00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:04,089

- Who are you talking to?

- Save it, red!

00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:08,385

Unless you want to spend the night

in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.

00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,430

I am not going to apologize to a tree.

00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:15,642

You apologize to the tree right now,

or I am calling for backup.

00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,312

Backup! Backup!

00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,189

I'm sorry! Sorry!

00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:24,526

Okay, cancel backup!

Cancel backup!

00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,487

ROSS:

Okay.

00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:30,574

Didn't you say there was, um,

an elevator in here?

00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:34,119

Uh, yes, I did, but there isn't.

Here we go!

00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:37,205

Okay, go left.

00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:39,541

Left. Left.

00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:43,128

Okay, you know what?

There's no more left left.

00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,047

Lift it straight up over your head.

00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:48,592

Straight up over your head. You can do it!

00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,010

You can do it!

00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,179

- Okay. You got it?

- Yeah.

00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:53,680

- Go, go.

- Good, good.

00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,016

You got it, right?

You got it, right? You got...

00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,727

[RACHEL SCREAMS]

00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:01,605

[RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]

00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:04,816

Any chance you think

the couch looks good there?

00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:07,611

This guy was all...

00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:08,820

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,906

And I'm all,

"Buffay! Homicide!"

00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,409

It was just so cool! Ha-ha-ha.

00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,870

Phoebe, you were supposed to

take that back.

00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:19,414

I know, but I'm having so much fun

doing good deeds.

00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:23,543

Okay, but impersonating a police officer

is a serious thing. You can get arrested.

00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,254

You could get arrested

right now!

00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:32,761

All right, yeah, I'd better take it back.

I'm totally drunk with power.

00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:38,433

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,644

Oh.

00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:43,396

Hi, Joe.

00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:46,274

Yeah. I didn't know

you guys were gonna be here.

00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:49,069

- Do me a favor, sweetie. Taste this.

- What? Why?

00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,030

- What is going on with you?

- Nothing.

00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,949

You've been acting strange all day.

00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:57,619

All right. There is something. I, uh...

00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,747

I kind of had a dream.

00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,875

But I don't want to talk about it.

00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:07,003

Oh, whoa. What if Martin Luther King

had said that?

00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:11,258

I kind of have a dream.

00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:14,386

I don't want to talk about it.

00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:18,390

Look, it involved Monica.

00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,434

You had a dream about a girl I'm seeing?

Oh, that is so cool.

00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,895

I can't tell you how many times

I dreamt about a girl he was seeing.

00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:27,732

Anyway, we were talking about your dream.

I love you. Your dream?

00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:31,403

Don't worry, there wasn't any sex in it.

I haven't dreamt about her like that...

00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:34,197

...since I found out

about you two-ish.

00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:38,952

[LAUGHS]

00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,453

What was the dream about?

00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,956

Well, okay.

00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:47,043

You were my girlfriend.

We were doing the crossword puzzle.

00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,087

Like you guys were doing last night.

00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:52,465

So that's it. I'm in love

with Monica and I'll be moving out.

00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:56,428

Joey, come on. That doesn't mean

that you're in love with me.

00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,138

It doesn't?

00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,140

It could mean anything.

Like, uh...

00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:03,768

...all of a sudden you're jealous

that I've become the apartment stud.

00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,479

Kind of sounds like your dream, dude.

00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:13,612

Or it could mean you saw Chandler and me

together, being close and stuff...

00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:16,156

...and you just wanna have that

with someone too.

00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,783

In the dream

I did enjoy the closeness.

00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:20,452

Okay, look.

00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,953

Are you attracted to Monica?

00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,414

Right here, right now,

are you attracted to her?

00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,836

- Not really.

- There you have it!

00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:33,465

Heh. Well, sure!

I'm just wearing sweats!

00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:36,051

But that's good!

00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:39,387

You're not in love with me.

You just want a girlfriend.

00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:42,098

No, I don't think it's just about

getting a girlfriend.

00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,725

Yeah, I could get a girlfriend.

00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:47,062

Yeah, we could sit in the chair

and do crossword puzzles.

00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:50,106

But are we ever gonna have

the closeness like you guys have?

00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:54,611

Monica and I were friends before

we started dating. Maybe that's it.

00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,696

Friends first?

00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,573

That's interesting.

00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:03,370

- You become friends after?

- No, never done that either.

00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,915

Um, do you guys have

a tape measure?

00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,833

Oh, yeah. It's actually in my bedroom.

00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,710

[CHUCKLES]

00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,253

That's right.

00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:26,893

What's up, Joey?

00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,231

How you doing?

00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:43,368

PHOEBE: Excuse me. Is this your car?

- Yeah.

00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,746

Well, I don't think it's nice of you to park here.

You're blocking the entrance.

00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:48,915

Don't worry about it.

It's not a problem.

00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:54,045

It's a problem for me, which means

it's a problem for you because I'm a cop.

00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,757

So am I.

00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,761

Oh, no.

00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:07,058

Oh, okay. So you're a cop.

You can park anywhere.

00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:09,269

I know that because I'm a cop too.

00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,021

All right. Keep up the good work.

Ten-four.

00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:14,899

Wait a second.

So, what precinct are you with?

00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,694

I'm with the, um, the 57th.

00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:21,197

- I know a guy in Homicide up there.

- I'm in Vice.

00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:24,909

In fact, I'm undercover

right now. I'm a whore.

00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,038

Who else is in Vice up there?

00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:30,999

Um, do you know, um...

00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,500

...Sipowitz?

00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:35,336

Sipowitz? No, I don't think so.

00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:38,757

Yeah. Sipowitz. Yeah.

Big guy, kind of bald.

00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:40,967

I don't know him.

00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:45,472

Don't try to call him or anything.

Because he's not there. He's out.

00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:48,266

His, um, partner just died.

00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:52,312

Tell Sipowitz I'm real sorry for his loss.

00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,939

I sure will. Take care.

00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,776

Hey, by the way, I'm sure Sipowitz

is gonna be all right.

00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,987

I heard that kid from Silver Spoons

is really good.

00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:05,742

Where'd you find my badge?

00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,494

Oh!

00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:09,454

[LAUGHS]

00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:20,340

Hey, Joey, would you mind giving me

and Ross a hand moving his couch?

00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:23,468

Aw, I'd love to but I got acting class.

But you know what?

00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:26,179

I guess I could blow that off for you.

00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:32,352

Thanks.

00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:36,648

Uh, let me ask you something.

I was talking with Monica and Chandler.

00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,691

Boy, they are really tight.

00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:39,901

I know.

00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:42,195

That's not a bad situation

they got over there.

00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:43,905

Mm-mm.

00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:46,449

Thinking of getting me one of those.

00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,371

What's up, Joe?

00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:54,916

The reason I think Monica

and Chandler are so great...

00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,752

...is because they were friends first,

you know?

00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:02,298

So I asked myself, who are my friends?

You and Phoebe.

00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,884

I saw you first, so...

00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:07,804

RACHEL: Heh.

- Mm-hm.

00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:12,517

- What are you saying?

- I'm saying maybe you and I crank it up a notch.

00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:17,939

You know, honey, um...

00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,483

...as, uh, flattered as I am...

00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:23,361

...that you saw me first...

00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:28,032

...uh, I just don't think we should be

cranking anything up.

00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:30,702

I'll treat you real nice.

00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,876

Oh!

00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,628

Yeah. Well, you know, um...

00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:46,718

Listen, I think it's a great idea to become

friends with someone before you date.

00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:51,097

But I think the way you do it is you

meet someone, become their friend...

00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:54,767

...build a foundation,

then ask them out on a date.

00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:57,520

Don't hit on your existing friends.

00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,941

Won't that take longer?

00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,235

Yeah. Yeah.

00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,321

Oh, but once you find it...

00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,740

...it's so worth the wait.

00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:10,909

Yeah.

00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,160

I understand.

00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,162

RACHEL:

Good.

00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,873

Man, I wish I saw Phoebe first.

00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:21,711

Come here to me.

00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,924

No, no. You come here to me.

00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:29,302

Hey, Ross.

00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:32,513

- Ahem, I brought reinforcements.

- Oh, great! You brought Joey?

00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,223

I brought the next best thing. Heh.

00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:35,975

Hey.

00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,521

You brought Chandler?

The next best thing would be Monica!

00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:45,526

I would be offended, but Monica

is freakishly strong, so...

00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:48,613

Look, I drew a sketch of how we'll do it.

00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:50,740

Rach, that's you.

00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,951

That's the couch.

00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,244

Oh, what's that?

00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:56,955

Oh, that's me.

00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,916

Wow.

00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,670

Certainly think a lot of yourself.

00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,298

No. That's my arm.

00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:15,765

Oh, I see. I thought you just really,

really liked your new couch.

00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,645

Just follow my lead.

00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,480

Okay.

00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,941

ROSS:

Come on, Chandler.

00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,275

Ah.

00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:27,777

- All right.

CHANDLER: Okay.

00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:30,238

ROSS:

Here we go.

00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:31,864

All right. Ready?

00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:33,199

CHANDLER: Yeah.

RACHEL: Yeah.

00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,450

ROSS: Turn!

CHANDLER: Okay.

00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:35,660

ROSS:

Turn!

00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,245

Turn!

00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:42,208

- I don't think we can turn anymore!

RACHEL: I don't think it'll fit!

00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:45,378

ROSS: Yeah, it will.

Come on! Up, up, up!

00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:47,463

Up! Yes!

00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,966

Here we go! Pivot!

00:16:50,676 --> 00:17:01,894

Pivot!

00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:05,189

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,612

I don't think it's gonna pivot anymore.

00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:13,156

BOTH:

You think?

00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:19,245

All right, let's, uh, bring it

back down and try again.

00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,622

Oh.

00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,833

RACHEL:

Whoa.

00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,752

[GRUNTS]

00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:29,881

I think it's really stuck now.

00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:35,011

- I can't believe that didn't work.

- I know. Me neither.

00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:36,971

I mean, you had a sketch.

00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,476

What did you mean when

you said "pivot"?

00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:47,398

- Hey.

RACHEL: Hey.

00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:50,193

How's it going?

Did you make any new friends?

00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,945

Yeah. I met this woman.

00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:54,906

Hey. Whoa, whoa.

00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,657

What's she like?

00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:58,534

Uh, well, she's...

00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:00,036

...really good in bed.

00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,790

I thought you were going to

try to be friends first.

00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:07,126

- Hey, it's all your fault.

- What? Why?

00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:10,463

You didn't give me advice.

You gave me a pickup line.

00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:14,467

I told her I wanted to

"build a foundation and be friends."

00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:19,430

Suddenly, through no fault of my own,

I became irresistible to her!

00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:21,808

And her roommate!

00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:25,728

What about the "closeness"?

00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:30,441

Closeness, schmosness! There was

three of us, for crying out loud!

00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,781

Who wants pizza?

00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,366

I do! I do! I do!

00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:42,954

This is great! Can you believe

I found this on the second floor?

00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,748

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,917

- Who is it?

OFFICER: NYPD.

00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,169

PHOEBE: Oh, my God!

JOEY: Oh, my God.

00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,964

Uh, just a minute, officer!

00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:06,310

OFFICER: I'm looking for Phoebe Buffay.

- My God, it's him! It's that cop!

00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:10,523

- I can't believe he found me!

- Are you going to go to jail?

00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,901

If I'm going down,

you guys are going down with me.

00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:19,448

Harboring a fugitive?

That's one-to-three years minimum.

00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,742

Good luck, Chandler.

00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:29,208

You can arrest me, but you'll never

make it stick and you know it.

00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:32,753

I kind of don't have a choice, it's my job.

You understand, right?

00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,715

Yeah, as long as you understand

that I'm gonna call my lawyer.

00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:39,802

And once he puts you on the stand, he's

gonna make you look like a fool! Like a fool!

00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:43,598

I don't like looking foolish.

00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:48,227

Maybe, uh, I don't arrest you today.

Maybe I came by and you weren't here.

00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:50,605

I would love it if I weren't here!

00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:55,359

Since, um, you're not going to jail

tonight, I was wondering if you'd, um...

00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,820

...like to go to dinner with me?

00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,780

- Me?

OFFICER: Yeah.

00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:03,784

Ever since you flashed my badge at me,

I kind of can't stop thinking about you.

00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:07,830

You're the prettiest fake

undercover whore I've ever seen.

00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,417

[IN UNISON]

Nice.

00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,923

Wow, I didn't see that coming.

You're asking me out.

00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:20,551

Yeah, I could've done it better,

but these people keep staring at me.

00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:24,972

Um, yeah, I'd like to go out

with you, officer.

00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,600

- Gary.

- Gary.

00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,769

- Okay, so it's a date.

PHOEBE: Yeah.

00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:32,563

I gotta ask you, though.

How did you know where to find me?

00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:35,900

Your fingerprints were all over my badge

so I ran them through the computer.

00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,778

This was listed as your last known address

so I checked it out.

00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:39,987

Oh, impressive.

00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:44,533

Not as impressive as you. I looked at your

record and you've done some weird stuff.

00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,410

We'll talk at dinner.

00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:47,828

Okay.

00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:50,039

So I'll come by in a couple hours

and pick you up?

00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:51,707

- All right, I can't wait.

- Okay.

00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:54,710

Don't worry, I won't just

take you out for doughnuts.

00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:56,629

[LAUGHS]

00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,507

He has a gun!

00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:09,642

I'd like to return this couch.

I'm not satisfied with it.

00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:17,066

You want to return this couch?

00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:21,195

It's cut in half.

00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:26,325

- That's what I'm telling you.

- Did you cut this couch in half?

00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:30,788

This couch is cut in half!

00:21:32,249 --> 00:21:37,295

I would like to exchange it for one

that is not cut in half.

00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:41,048

You're telling me this couch

was delivered to you like this?

00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:43,426

Look, I'm a reasonable man.

00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:46,679

I will accept store credit.

00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:51,392

I'll give you store credit

in the amount of $4.

00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:56,522

I will take it.

00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,988

[English - US - SDH]