Эпизод после Вегаса

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You sure you wanna do this?

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[LAUGHING]

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Hello, Mrs. Ross. Woo-hoo!

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Well, hello, Mr. Rachel.

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[ROSS GAGS]

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- Whoa!

- Oh, my God.

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Come on, Pheebs, hurry!

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

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PHOEBE:

Okay! Okay!

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Oh, my God!

Is everybody getting married?

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JOEY: Agh.

- No running in the chapel.

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Hey, don't you give me

any of your... Hey!

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- Hi.

- Hey!

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What are you doing here?

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Ross and Rachel left a message.

They're getting married.

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- Isn't that why you guys are here?

- Yes.

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- Why else would we be here?

- Ha-ha-ha.

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Well, what happened? Did we miss it?

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We actually missed it.

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Maybe you wouldn't have

if you could run in the chapel!

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This is insane.

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What's the big deal?

It's not like it's a real marriage.

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What?

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If you marry in Vegas,

you're only married in Vegas.

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What? If you marry here,

you're married everywhere.

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Really?

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MONICA:

Yeah.

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Oh, my God.

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Oh, well.

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Mm.

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[GROANS]

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[YELLING]

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[GROANING]

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Why are we in bed together?

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I don't know.

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Do you have any clothes on?

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Yes.

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- Really?

- No.

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Ugh...

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But we didn't have...

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...sex, did we?

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I don't remember much about last night.

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- It was such a blur. Ha, ha.

- Oh.

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Oh!

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- I remember laughing. I laughed a lot.

- Uh-huh?

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Then we didn't have sex.

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[GROANS]

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Oh, I mean, we were really drunk.

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I'm glad we didn't do anything stupid.

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ROSS:

Tell me about it.

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- Morning, Pheebs.

- Mm.

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Well, my movie has been

officially canceled.

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Mm. Joey, I'm so sorry.

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You want my breakfast?

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Eh, too depressed to eat.

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I'll probably eat in, like, five minutes.

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So I guess I'll fly home with you.

What time is your flight?

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- What about my cab?

- I don't need that anymore.

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No, you borrowed my cab.

You have to drive it back.

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I don't wanna drive back

by myself. I get lonely.

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Oh, ooh. How about if you come with me?

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- I don't know, it's a long trip.

- That would be great.

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We could talk and play games.

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This could be our chance to,

like, renew our friendship.

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Are you asking me

to have a "frienaissance"?

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Sure?

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Heh. All right, although I don't think we

need one. I never stopped loving you.

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- Hey.

JOEY: Hey.

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- Hey.

- Hey.

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So has anybody talked

to Dr. And Mrs. Geller yet?

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Mm-hm. They left me a message.

They'll be here.

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Where is the waitress? I'm starving.

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It's a buffet, man.

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Here's where I win all my money back!

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I gotta talk to you.

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Sure.

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What's up?

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Monica and I almost got married.

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My God!

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That's huge! Ha-ha-ha, hey.

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Wait a minute. Why wasn't I invited?

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And who was gonna be your best man?

Don't say Ross. Do not say Ross.

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I just don't think that Monica and I

are ready yet. I love her...

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...but seeing Ross and Rachel

come out of that chapel...

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...was like a wake-up call that Monica

and I are moving so fast, you know.

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How do I tell her

without crushing her?

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Oh!

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Tell her she's not marriage material.

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What?

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Girls say it to me all the time.

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And if she's anything like me,

she's just gonna be relieved.

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How do I tell him that it's too soon?

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He's gonna think

I don't love him anymore.

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- Well, you don't.

- Yes, I do.

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Good. I was just testing you.

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CHANDLER: Hey.

- Oh, hi.

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We were just talking about bacon.

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No, we were talking about tennis.

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Tennis is more believable.

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ALL:

Hey.

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MONICA: Hi.

RACHEL: Thank you.

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[ROSS & RACHEL GROAN]

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- Coffee. Heh.

- Mm.

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- What?

- Are we gonna talk...

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...about what you guys did last night,

or?

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What do you mean "last night"?

Nothing, uh, happened last night.

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Uh-huh. Ross invited us all to watch.

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Rach, we weren't gonna miss

our friends marrying.

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Huh, who got married?

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You did?

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- What?

- Heh.

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- Wh...? Hello. We didn't get married.

- No, we didn't. That's ridi...

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[BOTH GASP]

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Wait, wait, wait.

I remember being in a chapel.

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They would not let us get married

when we were that drunk.

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They let you get married.

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Most people who marry

in Vegas are drunk.

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Heh, I'm drunk right now.

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I can't have a mimosa with breakfast?

I'm on vacation.

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What are you gonna do?

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- Well, I guess we find a divorce lawyer.

- Uh-huh.

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Well, I think,

I think Ross already has one.

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Now, this one's free, right?

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Because you paid for the first two,

third one free.

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Laugh it up, but the joke's on you...

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...because we don't need to get divorced.

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- We're just gonna get an annulment.

JOEY: An annulment?

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Ross, I don't think surgery

is the answer here.

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Oh, that's your thing!

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What?

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Your thing, that you're the guy

who gets divorced.

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Oh, yeah.

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No, no, that's not "my thing."

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I do not love getting divorced.

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Yes, you do. This is your third divorce.

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You love divorce so much,

you're probably gonna marry it...

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[LAUGHING]

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...and then it won't work out, so you're

gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy.

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Ha-ha-ha.

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I'm so drunk.

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- So, what should we do?

- I don't know.

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I know I love you.

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- I know I love you.

- Heh.

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Where are we on the whole

"going back...

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...to where they have the marriages"

thing? I love you.

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That's a good question.

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Last night we let the dice decide.

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We should leave it

up to fate again. I love you!

00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:11,383

We don't get married

unless there's a sign.

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Okay? So say, uh...

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You roll another eight, then there's a sign

that we should get married.

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All right. Eight we get married...

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...but 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10,

11, 12, we don't get married.

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- Sounds great.

- Okay.

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DEALER:

Hey, we got a shooter.

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Money, please.

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- Ready?

- Ready.

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Come on, eight.

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Yes, yes, eight.

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DEALER:

Eight, easy eight.

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- Wow, I can't believe I rolled an eight.

- That was so unlikely.

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- Well, let's get married. I guess.

- Aah.

00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,510

That wasn't hard.

Last night I rolled a hard eight.

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It was the wrong kind of eight.

No wedding! Damn it!

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- Agh! Aah!

- Unh, I wanted it so bad!

00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:05,979

- Wanna go pack?

- Yeah.

00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:12,068

- We're doing the right thing, right?

- Oh, of course we are.

00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:14,446

Heh, we left it up to fate.

00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:18,283

If we were supposed to get married,

there would be a sign.

00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:30,170

Okay, you have 19 questions left.

Use them wisely.

00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,964

[GROANS]

00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:36,051

Come on, Joey.

You can't win if you don't ask any...

00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:37,260

[SHOUTS]

...questions!

00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,471

Aah! Aah.

00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:43,058

- What?

- You promised me a fun road trip.

00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:46,936

We've been on the road for 6 hours,

and you've been asleep for 5 and a half.

00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:50,398

We are switching,

and you are going to drive back.

00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:54,444

That will be your punishment,

you greedy sleeper.

00:10:55,404 --> 00:10:56,488

All right. All right.

00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:59,574

Yeah. And until then,

you are going to sing to me.

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Because the radio's broken, and you are

selfish, but you have a nice voice.

00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,623

- Really?

- Sing!

00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:12,462

[SINGS]

I wanna rock 'n' roll all night

00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,721

JOEY:

Man, this is a long drive.

00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,599

Are my eyes open?

00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,309

No!

00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:41,950

[BOTH SCREAM]

00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,702

- Morning.

- Aah!

00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:52,419

- Hey.

- Hey, hubby. Heh.

00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:57,966

Yeah. Actually, um,

I wanted to talk to you...

00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:00,552

...about that whole annulment thing.

- Uh-huh?

00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,804

Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:14,816

[BOTH LAUGH]

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- Okay.

- Heh.

00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:21,156

So we'll just stay married.

00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:22,657

Yes, exactly.

00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:26,661

And I will make everyone

call me Mrs. Geller.

00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:29,956

Wow, this is so amazing.

00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:34,002

I, uh, really thought I'd have

to talk you into this more.

00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:39,007

Ha, ha. Now I'm scared because

I don't actually think you're kidding.

00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:42,093

I'm not kidding.

00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:43,803

Look, I... I... Heh.

00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:47,223

I can't have three failed marriages.

00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:49,058

I can't, okay?

00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:52,437

I am not gonna be that guy.

00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:55,231

[STAMMERS]

00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:58,735

So, what, we just stay married forever?

00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,445

Okay, how...?

00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:03,573

How is this going to affect you, really?

00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:09,537

I mean, you fill some form out

once in a while...

00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:13,917

...instead of checking the box "Miss,"

you check the box that says, "Mrs."

00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:17,045

It's right next to it.

00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:21,841

Okay. I'm sorry, you're right.

You know what?

00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,802

We can stay married...

00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:28,640

...because I thought that the boxes

were far away from each other.

00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:33,353

All right. Look, just...

00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,522

...please take a moment here...

00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:38,650

...and think about what

you're asking of me. Okay?

00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:44,072

I am asking you to do me a favor.

00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:49,911

You are asking me to be your wife.

00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:55,041

And, as my wife, I think

you should grant me this favor.

00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,089

That kid kicked me really hard.

00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:03,299

Well, you did pull his hair.

00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,845

- He took my snack.

- I'm not getting into this again.

00:14:07,054 --> 00:14:09,639

All right, you know what?

Hurts really bad.

00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,891

Well, I told you not to walk. Here.

00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,560

There. There. Okay.

00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:25,655

- This doesn't mean anything, does it?

- No.

00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,661

How could you pick up a hitchhiker?

00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:36,499

He could be a rape... He could be

a rapist or a killer or something.

00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,419

Don't you think I asked him that

before he got in?

00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:42,922

I'm not talking to you.

You go back to sleep.

00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,592

- And, you, are you a rapist?

- No.

00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:47,510

Do you like car games?

00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:49,971

Yeah, you know the, uh,

license plate game?

00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,890

I love the license plate game!

00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:54,017

Ooh, I'll play. I'll play.

00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,269

No, you need your sleep.

Night-night. Shh.

00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,235

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,863

Listen. I know you wanted to talk to me...

00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:10,533

...but I have an idea that may

make you wanna stay married.

00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,201

Uh...

00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:14,245

We register...

00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:17,040

...and you get to keep all the presents.

00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,880

No, Ross, come on. No, listen.

00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:28,134

I've thought about how to tell you this,

and, um, the bottom line, Ross...

00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,929

...is we cannot stay married.

00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:35,808

- I don't know if that's true...

- Oh, but it is.

00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:38,436

Ahem. Okay. You know what this is?

00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:42,357

This is a difference of opinion.

00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:47,028

- When that happens in a marriage...

- Oh, Ross, come on!

00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:51,199

This is not a marriage!

This is the world's worst hangover!

00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:55,662

Ross, listen, if you do not

get this annulment, I will.

00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:01,542

All right. All right, I'll do it.

00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,127

Thank you.

00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,339

Hey, hey, um...

00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:10,093

...uh, is there any such thing

as an annulment shower?

00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,766

There's the train station, where I get off.

00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:19,268

Well, I have your address

and phone number.

00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:22,563

And I have your name

and the fact that you're a drifter.

00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:25,566

So ball's pretty much in your court.

00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:28,152

All right. See you, Pheebs.

00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,414

Come on, Pheebs,

I can't take this anymore.

00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:40,873

Please talk to me.

00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,712

Let me make it up to you, huh?

00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:50,717

[SINGING]

Ground control to Major Tom

00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:55,972

Commencing countdown

Engines on

00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:04,355

Take your protein pills

And put your helmet on

00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,274

Pssh, this is...

00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,901

Stop it! Stop it! No.

00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:13,865

That's not fair. You know I can't

resist that beautiful voice.

00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:17,326

Pheebs, look, I am so sorry.

00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:20,204

I promised you a fun

road trip with your friend...

00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:23,124

...and I didn't deliver, okay?

00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:28,296

Now I know that you think being awake

is an important part of friendship.

00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:33,342

So I will strive to stay awake

for as long as I know you.

00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,556

You can still sleep

at night and stuff.

00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,059

Thank you.

00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:44,103

So can we play 20 Questions now?

00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:47,148

I got a good one.

I thought about it since Kansas.

00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:50,151

Okay.

00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:52,445

Is it...

00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:55,031

...a kind of hot sandwich?

00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:57,075

Yes.

00:17:58,118 --> 00:17:59,744

Is it a meatball sub?

00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:01,913

That is incredible!

00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,290

You are the master!

00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,377

Aah! Bug!

00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:14,425

- Ah! That's funny. You look like you're...

- Don't say it!

00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,302

Don't even think it.

00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:18,805

All right.

00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:20,640

Chandler, enjoy your handful.

00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,729

Should we just get married?

00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,899

All the signs are telling us to do it.

00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,275

I'm sick of the signs.

00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:34,070

- I'm happy the way things are.

- Me too.

00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,072

- I don't want change, do you?

- No.

00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,534

All right then, nothing changes.

Everything stays the same!

00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:43,496

Go unpack. It's been three days,

and it's driving me insane!

00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:47,917

Jeez, relax, it's not like we're mar...

Aah, agh.

00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,762

You know, I was thinking, what if I, uh...

00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,806

...unpack here?

00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:03,724

All your stuff would be here.

00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:07,186

Well...

00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,816

What if all my stuff was here?

00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:15,319

Then you'd be going back

and forth all the time.

00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,655

Doesn't make any sense.

00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:19,490

Okay.

00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:25,204

What if we live together,

and you understand what I'm saying?

00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,126

Live together?

00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,628

There've been no signs for that.

00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:35,965

Me asking is kind of a sign.

00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:42,430

- Yes! Yes! Yes!

- Okay!

00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,852

Yes.

00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,229

Okay. Okay, wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:52,481

- Okay.

- Here's your key. Here's your key.

00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:54,317

Now go out and christen it!

00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:55,943

Go out and come back in!

00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:58,696

Door hasn't been locked

in five years, but okay.

00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,782

CHANDLER: Ready?

- Ready!

00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:03,201

[LOCK CLICKS]

00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:05,995

CHANDLER: The key broke in the lock,

and I can't get in.

00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,915

Wait. Oh, my God, I can't get out!

00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,792

CHANDLER: This isn't a sign!

- No, it's a very old key!

00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:14,337

CHANDLER: It's an old key!

- Oh, my God, it's old.

00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,422

CHANDLER:

I love you.

00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,967

I love you.

00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:23,721

CHANDLER:

Are you hugging the door right now?

00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:30,394

No.

00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,522

CHANDLER:

Yeah, yeah, me neither.

00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,401

Hey.

00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:40,738

So did everything go all right

with the annulment?

00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:43,866

Oh, yeah. No problems.

It's all taken care of.

00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,368

Ross, thank you.

00:20:45,535 --> 00:20:46,953

[RACHEL LAUGHS]

00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,621

Do you wanna go see a movie?

00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,623

- Yeah, why not?

- Pheebs?

00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:52,708

Thanks, I've already seen one.

00:20:54,169 --> 00:20:57,129

- Okay, um, I'm gonna get my sweater.

- Okay.

00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:02,385

You wanna hear something weird?

00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:03,970

Always.

00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:07,723

I didn't get the annulment.

00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:12,103

- What?

- We're still married.

00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:15,564

Don't tell Rachel. See you later.

00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:30,746

What are you doing?

00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,456

Key is stuck in the lock.

00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:34,208

I can fix it. Hold on.

00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,753

Watch out, watch out.

00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:45,261

It still doesn't work.

00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:46,929

- I'm not finished.

- Oh.

00:21:57,941 --> 00:22:01,027

Nice job, Joe.

You are quite the craftsman.

00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:07,867

[English - US - SDH]