Эпизод с Porsche Джоуи

00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:09,383

Look, I was going to tell you.

00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:12,177

When? After the birth

of our first secret child?

00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:16,682

Ross didn't get the annulment.

We are still married.

00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,892

MONICA: You're kidding?

- Oh, my God.

00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:21,770

Ross.

00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:23,939

Okay, maybe it wasn't

my best decision...

00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,233

...but I couldn't face

another failed marriage.

00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:27,860

Let me just jump in and ask.

00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:31,071

At what point did you think

this was a successful marriage?

00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:37,369

Rach, come on. If you think about it,

it's actually kind of funny.

00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,874

Okay, maybe it's best

not to think about it.

00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:47,129

Oh, this is inexcusable.

I'm shocked to my very core.

00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:51,050

Phoebe, I told her you already knew.

00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,889

Another lie. You have a sickness.

00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,809

Ross, just for my own peace of mind...

00:01:00,977 --> 00:01:03,437

...you're not married

to any more of us, are you?

00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,019

Oh, hey, someone left their keys.

00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:47,606

Ooh, to a Porsche.

00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:50,609

- Hey, Gunther, are these yours?

- Yeah. That's what I drive.

00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:55,614

I make 4 bucks an hour.

I saved up for 350 years.

00:01:58,201 --> 00:01:59,409

Uh-uh.

00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:03,497

Hey, did anybody lose their keys?

00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,499

Why don't you put them

in the lost and found?

00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,501

There's a lost and found?

00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,254

My shoe!

00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,423

You left a shoe here?

00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,425

Well, I didn't realize till I got home.

00:02:15,593 --> 00:02:18,595

I wasn't gonna walk all the way

back down here with one shoe.

00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:22,891

I'm gonna go find that guy's car

and leave a note on the windshield.

00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:26,728

Oh, good. When he comes back for

his keys, I'll be sure to give him your shoe.

00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,355

Great. Thanks.

00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,734

Oh, good, good. You guys are here.

Listen.

00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:34,486

How would you like

to spend tomorrow...

00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:37,239

...taking care of three

incredibly cute little puppies?

00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:39,783

Oh, my God. What a fun day.

That sounds great.

00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:41,618

Yeah, all right.

00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:44,204

Okay, well, I'll bring them by

tomorrow morning.

00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:47,708

Okay, and by the way,

they're not actually puppies.

00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:50,419

They're Frank and Alice's triplets.

Okay, see you.

00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:52,921

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?

00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:56,175

Please, please, please?

Frank and Alice...

00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:59,928

...asked me to babysit the triplets.

I'm nervous. I've never done that by myself.

00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:01,847

Don't worry about it, Phoebe. We'll do it.

00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:05,851

Yeah, I'm gonna pass, because I was

kind of iffy when it was puppies.

00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,814

Come on, Chandler. Come on,

it'll give us great practice for when...

00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:13,358

...people with babies come to visit.

00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:19,114

MAN:

Nice car.

00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:21,491

Yeah, it's, uh... It's not mine.

00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,663

- I love your car.

- Yeah. It's mine.

00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,585

- I bet it's fast.

- Me too. Yeah.

00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,003

And comfortable.

00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,964

- Do you, uh, like leather seats?

- Yeah.

00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,341

[CHUCKLES]

00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:39,760

It's got them.

00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:47,601

So I still have boxes here.

00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:50,479

I still have boxes at Ross'.

00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,648

And I have nowhere to live.

00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:55,525

Wow, I could so easily

freak out right now.

00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,444

What about me?

00:03:57,612 --> 00:04:01,114

I just found out Denise is leaving town

for a while. I don't have a roommate.

00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:08,080

Well, maybe I could be your roommate,

Pheebs.

00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,541

Maybe you could be my roommate.

00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,753

- Well, there's an idea.

- Yeah.

00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,213

- That would be great.

- Oh.

00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:20,050

- Wait, how long is Denise gone for?

- Um, she said she'd be back December 26th.

00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,219

Oh! December 26th.

00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:24,012

Heh, maybe she's Santa Claus.

00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:25,389

[BOTH LAUGHING]

00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:35,107

Oh, look who it is.

My husband, the apple of my eye.

00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:38,860

Okay, I got us a court date

for tomorrow at 2...

00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:41,405

...and I picked up all the forms.

00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:42,948

I'll take care of everything.

00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,450

Sure, if you say you're gonna

take care of everything...

00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,869

...I have no reason to doubt you.

00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,955

Give me those forms.

00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,792

All right, now, I'm gonna do this my way,

and I don't wanna hear a peep out of you.

00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,712

- Okay, Rach, but...

- Ah, you're peeping.

00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:59,923

[MUMBLING]

00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,718

Ross, you know what? I just got...

00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,554

- Why? Why did you do this?

- Look, I told you...

00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,265

I don't wanna hear

"three failed marriages."

00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,268

Look, if you'd had two failed marriages,

you'd understand.

00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,645

Well, you know what?

Thanks to you, I'm halfway there.

00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,149

Oh.

00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:21,570

Oh, I am so mad, Ross. I don't think

I've ever been this angry.

00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:25,240

What about the time I said

we were on a break?

00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:26,450

Oh.

00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:34,374

Pheebs, how's it going?

00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:37,627

I'm doing okay. Do you think they're

having fun? Am I talking too fast?

00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:39,171

No. You sound like me.

00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:43,633

It's going great. Look at Chandler

with Little Baby Girl Chandler.

00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:48,930

Little Baby Girl Chandler. Where have

I heard that before? Oh, right, Coach Rubin.

00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:55,687

You know what, Pheebs?

00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:59,399

When you're done over there,

we've got a kind of situation over here too.

00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:03,195

Uh-uh. No. We are all responsible

for our own babies.

00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,823

See, that's where I think you're wrong.

We've been playing them man-to-man.

00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:09,534

We should really be playing

a zone defense.

00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:11,161

What do you mean?

00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,996

I just think things will go smoother...

00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:17,042

...if we each have our own zone, you know?

Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping.

00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,669

And, Mon, you can be in charge

of diapering.

00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:24,049

And I can be in charge of looking at how

cute they are when they put their hands...

00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:28,595

That sounds really great,

but you should be in charge of wiping.

00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:31,681

Okay, I'm a rookie.

I should not be in the end zone.

00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,652

MONICA:

Wow, this is so great.

00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,696

This is exactly how we set the plates

at the restaurant.

00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,783

Yeah? Well, this is not what I ordered.

00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:55,747

- Hey, guys.

GROUP: Hey.

00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,374

Hey, babies.

00:06:58,334 --> 00:06:59,543

I'm having the best morning.

00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:02,462

That, uh, Porsche I've got the keys to?

Still there.

00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:06,049

Shocking, since you still have the keys.

00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:10,470

You should see the treatment I get

when I'm with that car.

00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:14,141

People are friendly. They wanna talk.

And not just about the car.

00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:16,351

One guy advised me

on my equity investments.

00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:17,686

What equity investments?

00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,897

The ones that got me the Porsche.

Will you keep up?

00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:27,779

I figured, if people keep seeing me

just standing there...

00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,781

...they're gonna start to think

I don't own it.

00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:33,201

So I figure I'll wash it, right?

Monica, you got a bucket and some soap?

00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:36,121

Oh, yeah. I got soap

and sponges and rags...

00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:40,709

...and carnauba wax

and polishing compound.

00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:42,794

You don't even have a car.

00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:46,506

I know. But one time there was this

dirty car parked in front of the building...

00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:48,133

...so I washed it.

00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:51,553

- And?

- And six others.

00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,054

There you are.

00:07:56,601 --> 00:08:00,103

- Yeah, she tops out at 130.

- Wow.

00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:03,440

And that's just in the city.

I get her up to 160 upstate.

00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:06,026

Really? You got a place upstate?

00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:07,861

Sure.

00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:12,407

- Well, I'll see you later.

- Okay. Take it easy.

00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:16,828

Hey. That's my car.

00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:19,289

Really? Oh, uh...

00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,041

Just give me five more minutes.

00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,169

What are you doing?

00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,422

Well, I found the keys,

and now I'm just polishing her up.

00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:31,134

- But it's my car.

- Yeah, but it's my wax.

00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:35,430

Listen, I don't come to the city much.

00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:39,226

And I don't know if you're crazy

or if this is some kind of street theater...

00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:41,853

...but could I have my keys?

00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,190

Sure. Yeah. I'll save your parking spot.

00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,192

I'm not coming back.

00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,194

- Why not?

- I live upstate.

00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,321

Yeah, so did I.

00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:55,951

I don't know why I was so nervous

about this...

00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:59,287

...and I don't know why Frank and Alice

are always complaining. This is easy.

00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:02,082

Yeah, two hours, a lifetime,

that's the same.

00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:06,836

Check it out. Check it out.

When the babies wake up...

00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:08,838

...they can meet Krog.

00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,635

What are you doing?

That thing could put someone's eye out.

00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:17,347

He can do more than that.

He can destroy the universe.

00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:20,809

No, Chandler, they could swallow

one of those little parts.

00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:24,813

And also, look at his smooth area.

That's just gonna mess them up.

00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:28,525

They're not gonna swallow anything.

You're too overprotective.

00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:32,320

When I was a kid, my mom used to

just throw me into a pile of broken glass.

00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:36,491

- What?

- Glass, sand, whatever.

00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,204

Oh, look at little Leslie

stretching in her sleep.

00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:42,664

Oh, it's so cute.

00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,959

I wonder what age it is when you stop

putting both legs behind your head.

00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,210

Oh, I can still do that.

00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,298

How are you still single?

00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:56,177

All right, ahem. I thought about it,

and maybe you're right.

00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:57,887

Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.

00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:02,017

- Good. What made you change your mind?

- I swallowed his sonic blaster gun.

00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,603

How did that happen?

00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,731

Well, I was trying to prove

that I was right, you know?

00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:09,941

And it turns out I was wrong...

00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,360

...and now it's lodged in my throat.

00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,743

Damn it, this whole time we were

concentrating on the babies...

00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:22,454

...and no one was watching Chandler.

00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:24,581

[GAGS]

00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:28,043

Okay, you two are asking the court

for an annulment?

00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:31,338

Yes, Your Honor.

And here are our forms, all filled out.

00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:33,506

JUDGE:

So based on your petition...

00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:36,593

...you are seeking an annulment

on the grounds...

00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:39,262

...that "Mr. Geller is mentally unstable."

00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:45,602

Fine. I'm mentally unstable.

00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:49,439

And based on the fact that "Mr. Geller

is an intravenous drug user."

00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:53,943

- What?

- Uh, yes. Heroin and crack.

00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:58,406

Crack isn't even an intravenous drug.

00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:00,075

Well, you would know.

00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,663

Now, it also says here that you:

00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:07,624

"Lied about your sexual preference

before marriage."

00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:11,419

- Oh, come on.

- Ross, please. I found the magazines.

00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:16,966

And, finally, that you were

"unable to consummate the marriage."

00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:20,845

Well, that makes sense since

you're gay and addicted to heroin.

00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:24,933

Okay, you know, I'm sorry,

this is insane.

00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:29,396

I'm not addicted to heroin,

I'm not gay, and there is no problem...

00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,314

...with my ability

to consummate anything.

00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:35,151

Look, I'll consummate this marriage

right here, right now.

00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,780

That won't be necessary.

00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:42,826

And when we were dating,

we consummated like bunnies.

00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:47,747

Now, if you two were involved in a serious

relationship, that really creates a problem.

00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:51,292

Your Honor, rest assured,

that relationship ended two years ago.

00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:54,587

And can you please strike "consummated

like bunnies" from the record.

00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:58,800

Is there anything in this record

that is actually true?

00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:02,262

Uh, well, yes. We got married in Vegas.

00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:05,306

And, uh, the names, I think.

00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:07,350

Well, based on what I've heard...

00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,894

...you two certainly don't qualify

for an annulment.

00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:13,523

If you don't wanna be together,

you'll have to file for divorce.

00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:18,111

That's great. You happy now? Look what

you did with your funny, funny form.

00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:22,657

What? Me? What about you and your

"consummated like bunnies" nonsense?

00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:25,827

And what...?

What are you typing that for?

00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,329

She already said

we don't get the annulment.

00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,540

Don't type that. What...?

00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,251

Stop typing. Hey.

00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,753

Stop typing.

00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:38,006

Stop typing, "stop typing."

00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:42,510

Okay, okay, do you see what you're

keeping me married to?

00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:44,429

You need to get out of my chambers.

00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,347

All right, lady, here's the deal.

00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:50,393

I came here for an annulment,

and I'm not leaving here until I get one.

00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:53,521

- Would you like to spend the night in jail?

- Thank you for your time.

00:12:58,152 --> 00:12:59,319

[GAGGING]

00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,287

[GAGS]

00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,505

That Porsche guy took his car back.

00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,469

But you found the keys to his clothes?

00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:27,639

No, I just, uh...

00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,350

I love the way it feels when everybody

thinks I own a Porsche.

00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,019

People would think you own a Porsche

because of the clothes?

00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:34,687

Of course.

00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:38,858

Only an idiot would wear this stuff

if he didn't have the car.

00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:44,072

That is true.

00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:48,243

Yeah, but only a genius would

swallow a sonic blaster gun.

00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:50,286

Oh, I've been there.

00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:55,750

I am gonna go drive my Porsche.

00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,461

Joey, you know you don't

actually have one.

00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:02,799

Come on. What are you doing?

I'm in character. Will you talk to her?

00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,594

Ah, I think it just moved.

It's really poking me.

00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,805

That's it. We're going

to the emergency room.

00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:12,642

What? No, you can't leave me here

with them. We're babysitting.

00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:15,562

The babies are asleep.

I'm sure you'll be okay on your own.

00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:18,273

But you can't leave me with them.

We're a team.

00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,733

We're playing a zone.

They're gonna triple-team me.

00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:25,446

He's got something plastic in his throat.

We gotta go to the hospital.

00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:29,742

But, no, because a doctor won't be able to

help him. And it's just gonna, you know...

00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:33,037

...naturally pass through his system

in, like, seven years.

00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:37,292

- I think that's gum.

- I'm pretty sure it's gun.

00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,004

Okay, listen, this really hurts. Let's go.

00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:45,133

But no. A real man wouldn't

just run to the hospital.

00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,969

No. What would Krog do?

00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:54,183

Why isn't that valet back

with my Porsche?

00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,520

Maybe because you've got the keys?

00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:07,030

- That was totally your fault.

- My fault? You threatened the judge.

00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:10,116

Well, you ripped the paper out

of the court reporter's machine.

00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:12,368

That was the only way I could

get him to stop typing!

00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:13,703

Oh.

00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,289

Hi. How are the Gellers?

00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:23,379

Don't call us that.

00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:28,051

The judge wouldn't let us get an

annulment. Now we gotta get a divorce.

00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:31,095

Did a Porsche throw up on you?

00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:35,642

Hey.

00:15:35,809 --> 00:15:37,518

It's "Porsche."

00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,606

Me taking care of you

is no problem, huh?

00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,567

You guys feel safe, right?

00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:47,862

Okay, I'm gonna take that spit bubble

as a "Yeah, I do."

00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:52,659

Let's get rid of this dirty diaper, Leslie.

I'll set you up with a nice clean one.

00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:57,246

Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.

I just have to clean that up, okay?

00:15:57,414 --> 00:16:00,249

Because, let's face it, we're at Monica's.

00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:01,751

[BABIES CRYING]

00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:06,255

I broke it. All right.

Well, that's just the way things go.

00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:08,841

Okay. Good.

00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:12,178

Why are there only two of you?

00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,930

Where's Leslie?

00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:17,642

Well, you can't answer.

Leslie? Where are you, Leslie?

00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,937

Leslie, now would be a good time

for your first words.

00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,024

Well, look at you.

00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:26,693

Hey.

00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:31,239

You are a little bit mischievous.

My gosh.

00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:33,700

Oh, you're a lot mischievous.

00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,662

Well, it'll dry.

00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:41,207

Okay, you sit with your brother

and sister now...

00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:43,042

...who aren't there.

00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:58,266

- Hey.

- How do you feel?

00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:02,020

Well, let's just say that Krog will be

equipped to destroy the universe again...

00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,272

...in 12 to 14 hours.

00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:08,860

Okay, so I totally took care of the babies

all by myself.

00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,945

I fed them, bathed them

and put them to bed.

00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:13,990

And protected them from a tornado?

00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:18,870

Oh, my God.

00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,664

I know. The babies are asleep.

00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:24,417

Phoebe, what happened here?

00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,420

I did it. I took care

of the babies all by myself.

00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:31,716

- But my apartment.

- Was the setting of Phoebe's triumph.

00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:34,427

But the mess.

00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:38,389

Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe

took care of the babies all by herself.

00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,518

You're right. You're right,

I shouldn't freak out.

00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:44,687

This is what it's gonna be like

when we have babies.

00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,689

When will that be?

00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,903

Phoebe, would you take a look

at this mess?

00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:02,663

Oh, honey, thank God you're home.

I was getting worried.

00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:06,084

I picked up the divorce papers.

00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:12,006

Uh, I've already signed everything.

And I put little X's where you need to sign.

00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,967

Oh, little X's. Great.

That makes up for everything.

00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:20,765

You know, you've done

a lot of stupid stuff too, okay?

00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,810

Oh, name one stupid thing

that is as stupid as this one.

00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:26,521

Okay, how about you flew to London

to stop my wedding?

00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:29,482

How about you told me you loved me

after I was married?

00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:31,692

Wait a minute, that was different.

00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:34,362

I did those things

because I was in love with you.

00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:36,239

Yeah. Right.

00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,620

You're right. That's very different.

00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,997

So let's just sign the papers.

00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:50,419

- What?

- Nothing.

00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:53,548

Okay, can we just sign, please?

00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,341

Mm-hm.

00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,520

Congratulations.

00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:10,648

Okay, wait, Ross. Wait a minute. Um...

00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:14,026

I, uh, kind of have a little confession.

00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:15,695

What?

00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:18,614

Uh, well, you know,

this whole marriage thing.

00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,658

Kind of my idea.

00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,369

Excuse me?

00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:26,122

Remember how we were too drunk

to remember anything...

00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:27,832

...the night we were married?

00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,041

Yeah?

00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:32,211

And yeah,

I didn't really wanna say anything...

00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:35,131

...but it just kind of kept

coming back to me.

00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,133

Um, remember, we were in the casino...

00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:40,386

...and for some reason, you thought it'd

be funny to eat a lot of grapes.

00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:46,434

And I thought it would be funnier

if we got married.

00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:51,564

So, ahem, as a compromise, we decided

first to get married and then...

00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:54,275

...to eat a lot of grapes.

- To eat a lot of grapes.

00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:58,487

So, um...

00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:01,782

Sorry I got us into this whole thing.

00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:05,161

So then, I mean, if you think about it...

00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:08,080

...this is all your fault.

00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,959

Yeah, don't push it, though.

00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:16,505

I gotta say...

00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:19,425

...I know I divorce a lot of women.

00:20:22,804 --> 00:20:25,556

Never thought I'd be divorcing you.

00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,391

I know.

00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:31,646

I always thought if you and I got married,

that would be the one that stuck.

00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:34,982

And it wouldn't be a secret...

00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,526

...and we wouldn't have our

wedding dinner at Pizza Hut.

00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:39,779

[CHUCKLES]

00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,323

Did I even treat?

00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:46,285

No, it was on the house.

It was a newlywed special.

00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:49,747

That may be the most depressing thing

I've heard in my life.

00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,207

[CHUCKLES]

00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:55,461

Well, I should probably get these

to my lawyer's office.

00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:58,631

Hey, thanks, Ross,

for taking care of all this.

00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:01,300

- Ah, no problem.

- Yeah.

00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,770

- I'm gonna need a copy of those.

- Totally.

00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,230

Yeah.

00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:23,489

Hey, hey, hey.

Careful around my Porsche.

00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,451

- Hi, Joey.

- Hey.

00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,245

How you doing?

00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:32,373

He has the most amazing Porsche

under there.

00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:35,668

I'd love to show you, but I just tucked

her in. She's sleeping.

00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,169

[BOTH LAUGHING]

00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:39,422

Hey, would you two girls

like to go for a drink?

00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:53,644

[English - US - SDH]