Эпизод с сестрой Рэйчел

00:00:05,463 --> 00:00:10,009

Ross, double latte, 2.75.

Chandler, coffee and a scone, 4.25.

00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:11,885

And, Pheebs, herbal tea, 1.25.

00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:15,597

So all together that's 12.75.

00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:20,227

This coming from the man who couldn't

split our $80 phone bill in half.

00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:21,895

- Hi.

- Hi.

00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:23,772

How much do I owe?

00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:27,109

Oh, that's on the house,

courtesy of Joey Tribbiani.

00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:30,237

Oh. Great. Well, tell him thanks.

00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:35,284

And since Joey seems like such a nice guy,

maybe we could go on a date sometime?

00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,995

Well, he's not used to women

being so forward...

00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:41,081

...but I could check with him.

He says it's okay.

00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,624

[CHUCKLES]

00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:45,252

Great. Thanks. Bye-bye.

00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,796

Hey, Joey, how come our stuff isn't free?

00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:51,216

It will be when you look like that

in a tight skirt.

00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,802

This is great.

I'm getting more dates than ever.

00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:56,805

Wait, you're only giving away free stuff

to the pretty girls?

00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:59,099

Joey, that is so gross.

00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:02,186

Hmm. How about a scone

on the house, baby?

00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:05,355

I'm pretty.

00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:50,651

- Hey, does anyone have any gum?

- Oh, I do.

00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,822

Here. Sorry.

00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,741

Oh, you know what?

00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:01,703

No.

00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,832

Wait a second.

00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:13,590

- I know it's in here somewhere.

- You know what? I'm good. I'm good.

00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,134

- Hey.

ROSS: Hey.

00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:17,719

What are you doing here?

Shouldn't you be at work?

00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:21,014

[IN CONGESTED VOICE] They sent me home.

They said I can't work if I'm sick.

00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:22,349

ALL:

Aw.

00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:25,477

- I'm so sorry that you're sick.

- I'm not sick.

00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:27,563

I don't get sick.

00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:31,024

Getting sick is for weaklings.

It's for pansies.

00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,194

Honey, no one thinks

that you're a pansy.

00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:37,197

But we do think that you need a tissue.

00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:42,327

I have not been sick in over three years.

00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,579

[SNEEZES]

00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:49,543

- I'm gonna grab you some tissue.

- I don't need a tissue. I'm fine.

00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:54,631

When you put a D at the end of "fine,"

you're not fine.

00:02:55,925 --> 00:03:00,804

I'm fine.

00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,224

You know, it's a really hard word to say.

00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:06,018

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:19,948

CHANDLER: Yes?

- Hi. Is Rachel here? I'm her sister.

00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:22,784

- Oh, my God, Jill.

- Oh, my God, Rachel.

00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:24,244

Oh!

00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:26,538

Oh, my God, introduce us.

00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:28,707

- This is Chandler.

- Hi.

00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,250

And you know Monica and Ross.

00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,753

JILL: Hi.

- And that's Phoebe, and that's Joey.

00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:34,755

- Hey. How you doing?

- Don't.

00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:42,304

- Honey, what are you doing here?

JILL: Oh.

00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:43,639

Which sister is this?

00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:46,850

Is this the spoiled one

or the one that bit her?

00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:50,479

- Daddy cut me off.

- Never mind, I got it.

00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,147

And you know what I said to him?

00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:55,567

I said, "I'm gonna hire a lawyer,

sue you and take all your money...

00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,361

...and then I'm gonna cut you off."

00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:01,031

- What did he say?

- He said he wouldn't pay for my lawyer.

00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,366

Ah.

00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:05,077

Then he told me to come

and learn the value of money...

00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,870

...from the one daughter he's proud of.

00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:08,455

Oh.

00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:14,086

Did you hear that? My dad's proud of me.

My dad's proud of me. Ha, ha.

00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:16,630

- Rach?

- Oh, yeah, sorry.

00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:20,175

Hey, honey, so, what did you do

that made Dad cut you off?

00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:24,304

- Okay, I bought a boat.

- You bought a boat?

00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:28,225

Yeah, but it wasn't for me,

it was for a friend.

00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,852

Boy, did we make friends

with the wrong sister.

00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:36,566

Jill, I think this is the best thing

that could've ever happened to you.

00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,860

You've needed to get out

on your own anyway.

00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:41,613

And you know, when I did it,

at first I was scared...

00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,073

...but then look at me now.

00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:46,576

I am the only daughter

that Dad is proud of.

00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:50,747

Okay, well, this is what you're gonna do.

You're gonna get a job.

00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,750

You're gonna get an apartment.

And I'll help you.

00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:56,545

You can stay with us.

Right? She can stay with us?

00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,298

- Of course, yeah.

- Oh, that's so great.

00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:03,135

Okay, I'm really gonna do this.

I don't know how to thank you guys.

00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,512

Aw. I like cars.

00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,228

- You all finished here?

- Yes.

00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:14,980

Great.

00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,278

- Okay, here are the tips for this morning.

JOEY: Mm.

00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:25,449

Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes $8.

00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:29,328

- What?

- For all the free food you gave away.

00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:32,289

Well, if it's free food,

how come you're charging me for it?

00:05:33,624 --> 00:05:36,460

We don't give anything away

unless it's someone's birthday.

00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:40,297

Oh. What if they came in third

in a modeling contest?

00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,634

- No.

- Oh. Sorry.

00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:51,350

I just had the hardest day.

Some of these are so heavy.

00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,979

Jill, how did you pay for all this?

I thought your dad took your credit card.

00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:58,690

Oh, please,

I memorized those numbers when I was 15.

00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,025

[JILL CHUCKLES]

00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,111

But look at all the cool

make-it-on-my-own stuff I got.

00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,281

This is my "Please hire me" sweater.

00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:10,577

And these are my "Don't you want

to rent me this apartment?" pants.

00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:16,500

I don't think charging clothes to your dad

qualifies as making it on your own.

00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:20,170

Oh, Mr. Scientist has to get all technical.

00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:23,298

I don't think Rachel's gonna think

it's a good idea.

00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:27,636

- So who made her queen of the world?

- I would love that job.

00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,390

- Hey. What's going on?

- Hey.

00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,850

Jill.

00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,560

Did you shop?

00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:37,813

No.

00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:39,189

They did.

00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:43,443

- Yeah, we went shopping.

- Yeah, we went shopping. Yeah.

00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:46,530

You went shopping?

00:06:46,697 --> 00:06:49,616

Then you came in here

and paraded it right under Jill's nose...

00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,284

...when you know she's trying to quit.

00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:53,787

Wow. You guys, that's terrible.

00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,372

- Sorry, Jill.

- Sorry, Jill.

00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,082

It's okay.

00:06:57,708 --> 00:07:00,919

- So, what did you get?

- Oh, well, all right. I got... Thank you.

00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:04,756

I got, um, this, you know,

"I want a job" sweater.

00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,383

RACHEL:

Oh.

00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:11,888

And then I got, uh...

These are apartment pants.

00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:14,850

Apartment pants?

00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,769

Yeah, you've never heard of them?

00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:20,772

No, of course.

Of course I've heard of them.

00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:23,942

- Ross, what did you get?

- Huh?

00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,404

I got this...

00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,281

This.

00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:34,244

- A pashmina?

- Yeah.

00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:38,457

Oh, I love these babies.

00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:43,545

- Really?

ROSS: Mm-hm.

00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,088

Ross, what's a pashmina?

00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,425

It's a rug.

00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:51,511

Jill?

00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:52,888

[SOBBING]

00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:55,098

I'm sorry, Rachel.

00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:58,059

Oh, come on,

you really think that's gonna work on me?

00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:00,187

I invented that.

00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:03,523

Oh, right. But I am sorry.

00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:07,360

All right, it's okay.

One little setback is okay.

00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:10,822

- But don't let it happen again, all right?

- Okay.

00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:15,327

Now, since Daddy paid for all this stuff,

I should take it all away.

00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:18,788

But I'm just gonna take the pashmina.

00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:23,668

And the pants.

00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:27,797

You know what? I'm just gonna take it all,

because that way, you'll learn the lesson.

00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,050

Alrighty.

00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:34,179

I'm gonna run a couple of errands,

and I will see you at dinner.

00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,680

[JILL SIGHS]

00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,226

She took all my stuff.

00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:43,271

Yeah. Everything but the little blue one.

00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:44,481

[GASPS]

00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,690

That's the best one.

00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:50,820

- Oh, my God. Thank you so much.

- Oh. Well, hey.

00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:54,741

Oh, my gosh, that was so lame.

Like a pashmina could be a rug.

00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,409

Oh, yeah?

Well, how about you with the:

00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:57,619

[SOBS]

00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:00,580

- [IN FALSETTO VOICE] "I'm sorry."

- Shut up. I wasn't like that at all.

00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,792

What about what I said, you know,

about the apartment pants?

00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,544

How dumb was I?

00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:11,841

- Were you this cute in high school?

- [IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, stop.

00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:14,177

- No, you stop.

- No, you stop.

00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,387

You stop.

00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:18,890

Okay, why don't I sit here

and then you'll both stop it?

00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:25,897

Okay, so, what do you wanna do?

Let's do something crazy.

00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:29,192

I know, let's rest and drink lots of fluids.

00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:31,653

Okay, I'll rest.

00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:36,366

But, you know, if I'm going to bed,

then you're coming with me.

00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,909

[MONICA SNIFFS]

00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:42,956

See, that would be impossible to resist

if you weren't all drippy here.

00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:49,713

Are you saying

that you don't wanna get with this?

00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:57,512

Yeah, I don't think you should say that

even when you're healthy.

00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,641

Oh. Come on.

00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,060

[MONICA COUGHING]

00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,812

Don't take this personally, okay?

00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:09,024

It's just that I just can't have sex

with a sick person.

00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,192

I'm with you, Chandler.

00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:14,362

I can't have sex with a sick person either.

That's disgusting.

00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:17,073

But I'm not sick. Let me prove it to you.

00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:23,622

We are two healthy people

in the prime of life.

00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:27,083

See, that's the thing.

I would like to stay in...

00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:29,502

[IN CONGESTED VOICE]

...the prime of life.

00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:33,715

Hey.

00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,216

- Hey.

- What's up?

00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:38,595

Um, I think there's something

you should maybe know.

00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,805

It better not be

about the apartment pants...

00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:46,061

...because I just pitched the idea to

my boss at Ralph Lauren, and she loved it.

00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:48,855

No, no. It's just, I was, um...

00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,066

I was with Ross and Jill after you left...

00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:54,694

...and I'm pretty sure

I saw a little spark between them.

00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,822

- What?

- Yeah, I mean, it's probably nothing.

00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:01,368

But I just wanted to warn you

that there might be something there.

00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:03,536

- With Ross and Jill?

- Yeah.

00:11:04,121 --> 00:11:06,039

With Ross and my sister?

00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:08,833

Yeah.

00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:12,337

With my sister Jill

and my ex-boyfriend Ross?

00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,713

Yeah.

00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:16,591

- Oh, there is no way.

- Okay, then.

00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:19,678

Oh, my God. I cannot believe that.

00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:23,348

I don't really like it when Ross goes out

with anyone, but my sister?

00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,475

Isn't that like incest or something?

00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:32,023

Oh, my God, and they're gonna have sex.

Oh, no. What if he marries her too?

00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:34,818

Oh, this is just terrible.

This is just terrible.

00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:37,320

And I can't stop it.

I don't own Ross, you know?

00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:40,615

And Jill, she should be able

to do whatever it is she wants to do.

00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,618

Oh, my God, I can't believe Ross

is marrying my little sister.

00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:44,828

This is just...

00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:49,290

Oh, my God, this is just the worst thing

that could've ever happened to me.

00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,836

But great news

about the apartment pants, huh?

00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:56,798

That'll be 3.85.

00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,884

What do you mean?

Yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay.

00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:03,847

It's just I can't,

because my manager said that I...

00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:08,476

[SINGING]

Happy birthday to you

00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:10,937

Happy birthday to you

00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:14,149

- Happy birthday, dear Annie...

- Amy.

00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:16,484

Amy

00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:18,653

Happy birthday to you

00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:22,157

- Hey.

- Hey, that's weird, today's my birthday too.

00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:24,409

Yeah, not in here it isn't.

00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:29,497

Sorry I'm late. What's up?

00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:31,583

Oh, hey. Uh...

00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:36,045

You know, I just wanted to see if there were

any leads on the old job front.

00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:39,257

Oh. No. But I just walked past three sales

and I didn't go in.

00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,301

- How strong am I?

- Oh.

00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:43,678

That is great.

00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:46,264

Hey, you know

who doesn't have to job-hunt?

00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,976

- Ross. He works at the university.

- Yeah?

00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:54,105

Oh, so you know that? You guys talked?

So you get along? So you're gonna go out?

00:12:55,775 --> 00:13:00,111

Me go out with Ross? No. God, no.

What would make you think that?

00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,864

It's just Phoebe...

00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:06,493

...said she, you know, thought she saw

something between you guys.

00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:08,453

- No. I mean, he's nice.

RACHEL: Yeah.

00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:12,040

He's the kind of guy you're friends with

but not the kind of guy you date.

00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:16,002

I mean, he's the kind of guy you date,

because you did, but me?

00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,129

Hmm, not so much.

00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:22,133

Oh, not so much? What do you mean?

00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:24,677

I mean,

is there something wrong with Ross?

00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:26,554

Oh, no, no, no. He's just...

00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:29,682

I don't know.

You know, he's just a little bookish.

00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:34,437

- Are you saying he's a geek?

- You think so too?

00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:37,732

No. No. Ross is not a geek.

00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:38,983

[SIGHS]

00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:40,902

Fine. Then let's just say he's not my type.

00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,571

What, handsome is not your type?

00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:47,951

Smart, kind, good kisser?

What, those things aren't on your list?

00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:50,870

Ross is a great guy.

You would be lucky to be with him.

00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,998

Well, okay, if it means that much to you,

I'll ask him out.

00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,626

Oh, no, no, no. That's not what I meant.

I was just...

00:13:56,794 --> 00:14:01,256

You know what, Rachel? You're right.

You know, he has been really nice to me.

00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,883

Yeah, but he's not your type.

00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,052

But maybe that's a good thing.

00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,429

You know,

I'm doing all these different things.

00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:11,474

Maybe I should just try dating a geek too.

00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:16,437

Yeah, but you don't, you know...

You don't wanna try too much too fast.

00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:20,525

I mean, you do remember what happened

to the little girl...

00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,986

...who tried too much too fast,

don't you?

00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,155

What?

00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:28,741

She died, Jill.

00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:36,291

MONICA:

Chandler.

00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:41,379

CHANDLER: What is it, honey?

You need some tea? Some soup?

00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:44,966

Oh. Oh.

00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:52,056

Calling Dr. Big. Dr. Big to the bed.

00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:56,144

Oh, jeez, honey,

I thought you were asleep.

00:14:56,312 --> 00:15:00,899

How could I be asleep

knowing that you were in the next room?

00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:03,776

I was asleep.

00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,822

[SHIVERS]

00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:11,576

Oh, no, no, no, honey.

You know what's sexy? Layers.

00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:13,536

Layers are sexy.

00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:17,415

And blankets are sexy.

And, oh, hot water bottles are sexy.

00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:20,251

Come on, get into bed.

I wanna prove that I'm not sick.

00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:23,755

I wanna make you feel as good as I feel.

00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,757

[SNEEZES]

00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:29,427

- Would you please get some rest?

- I'm fine.

00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,096

[COUGHING]

00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:38,645

[SINGING]

Happy birthday to you

00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:44,359

- You're paying for that.

- What? No, no, it's her birthday.

00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:47,278

You've sung "Happy Birthday"

to 20 different women today.

00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:49,989

- But it...

- You are no longer authorized...

00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:52,617

...to distribute birthday muffins.

00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:55,161

Damn it.

00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,206

Rach.

00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,083

- Hi.

- Hi. Ahem.

00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,502

Did you tell your sister to ask me out?

00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:06,798

- Well, yeah.

- Oh, wow. I mean, wow.

00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,675

[CHUCKLES]

00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:10,426

I think she's cute...

00:16:10,594 --> 00:16:15,098

...but I never would've thought

of going out with her. Never.

00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:16,849

- Really?

- Yeah.

00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:20,061

But after you said it was okay,

I figured, why not?

00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,356

Oh, so not really "never." Heh.

00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:27,443

I have to say,

you are a much bigger person than I am.

00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:30,196

I mean, after all we've been through.

I just...

00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:32,865

You know what?

I wish I had a brother to reciprocate.

00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:34,409

Aw.

00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:38,287

Hey, if you ever wanna go out with Monica,

you have my blessing.

00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:39,664

And mine.

00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:43,668

Chandler?

00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:46,254

I think I'm sick.

00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,589

Really?

00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:49,799

Struck down in the...

00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,592

[IN CONGESTED VOICE]

...prime of life.

00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:57,098

Okay, fine, I admit it. I feel terrible.

00:16:57,266 --> 00:17:00,268

- Will you please rub this on my chest?

- Okay.

00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:04,522

No, no, no.

You are not getting me this way.

00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:08,901

- Come on, I really need your help here.

- No, no, no.

00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:13,531

- Fine, I'll rub it on myself.

- Okay.

00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:36,554

So you're just kind of rubbing it

on yourself?

00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:41,517

- Yeah.

- It's nice.

00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,480

Are you kidding me?

Is this turning you on?

00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:47,482

Yes.

00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:51,152

I can't believe it.

Is it the rubbing or the smell?

00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,905

It's all very, very good.

00:17:57,951 --> 00:18:00,495

So you wanna go, uh...

00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,456

...mix it up?

00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:08,127

- Not now, I'm sick.

- Oh, come on, you big faker.

00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:12,673

What about your rule

about never sleeping with sick people?

00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:16,969

Well, that was before

all the vaporizing action.

00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:21,224

- Okay, if you really wanna have sex.

- Okay.

00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,020

Worked like a charm.

00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,776

- Hi.

- Hi.

00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,194

What are you doing here?

00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:37,990

This is where Ross and I are meeting

for our date. So, what do you think?

00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:40,827

I don't like it.

00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:45,289

- Really?

- It's kind of slutty.

00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,334

It's yours.

00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,964

Yeah, well, I'm a slut.

00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,258

Me too.

00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:00,388

- Hi, Jill.

- Hey.

00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,515

Hi...

00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:05,184

- Rachel.

- Rachel.

00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:09,689

Heh. You're not at home,

you're right here.

00:19:10,190 --> 00:19:11,440

Yeah, I know.

00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:15,820

And I bet you thought it would be weird.

But it's not.

00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:19,657

[JILL & RACHEL CHUCKLE]

00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:22,952

Okay.

00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,580

So, well, I'll, um...

00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:27,290

I'll have her home by midnight. Ha, ha.

00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,500

[LAUGHING]

00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,672

[SOBBING]

00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:50,229

Why aren't you home yet?

00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:52,315

MONICA:

Is someone there?

00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:56,152

Oh, yeah, it's me. Sorry.

00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,279

CHANDLER:

What are you doing here?

00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:04,035

Uh, I'm just looking out your window

at the view.

00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:06,704

What are you guys doing?

00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:11,000

CHANDLER:

We got some VapoRub in some places.

00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:14,879

[RACHEL GASPS]

00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,840

Oh. He brought her back

to his apartment.

00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,551

Who?

00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:25,973

Is that your sister?

00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:30,186

Ugh. She is a slut.

00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:34,190

God. Ross is on a date with your sister.

How weird is that?

00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:36,984

Oh, my God, look,

he's taking off her clothes.

00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:39,528

He's taking off her coat.

00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:41,948

RACHEL:

Oh, this is just terrible.

00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:47,203

Oh, no, it's not. It was the first date.

I'm sure that nothing is gonna...

00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:51,249

[RACHEL GASPS]

00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:56,087

Hoo-hoo. He's gonna get some.

00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:00,841

Of the glare...

00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,594

...from the streetlight

out of his apartment.

00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:07,640

You know,

so, um, he's closed the drapes there...

00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:13,771

...so he can have a nice pleasant

conversation with your little sister.

00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:16,190

Well, I'm off to bed.

00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:55,021

[English - US - SDH]