Эпизод, в котором все могло быть иначе, Часть 2

00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:56,180

This threesome thing? Uh, heh.

00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:59,058

How are we even gonna find...?

00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:03,020

Actually, I'm making a list of women

I know who might be into this.

00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,733

Oh. Wow.

00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,652

Huh.

00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:13,822

Boy.

00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:18,285

Well, someone's been

doing their homework.

00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:21,330

Yeah. Oh, and I know Gail Rosten

is in there twice...

00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:22,956

...but she is so...

00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:25,375

Oh, I know. Ha, ha.

00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:30,964

You know, just talking about it

is getting me kind of...

00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:33,258

- I know. Me too.

- Yeah?

00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:34,885

I think Ben's asleep.

00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:37,721

Oh, um...

00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:42,768

You know, I think it'll be

better if we just save it.

00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,978

Yeah. Heh.

00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:48,273

Right. Save it. I can do that.

00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,527

[YELLING]

00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,326

- Hey, Pheebs.

PHOEBE: Hey.

00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:00,577

How's it going?

00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:04,832

I've got to get out of this bed.

I'm going crazy here! Crazy!

00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:06,250

Here you go, sweetie.

00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:09,503

What the hell is this, herbal tea?

I hate herbal tea.

00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:13,549

- I put some honey in it.

- Nyeh nyeh honey nyeh nyeh.

00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,972

- She doesn't know she was fired?

- No, the doctors say it may kill her.

00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,142

What are you two girls

whispering about over there?

00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,854

But I think we should tell her.

00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,444

Ugh, I mean, it's just so realistic.

00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:36,488

I know. Yeah.

00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:39,741

- His name's Pat.

- Pat the dog.

00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:43,370

Oh! Oh! I get it! Ha, ha!

00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,789

Oh, God.

00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,751

You, uh? You...

00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:53,297

...ready for a refill?

- Oh, I probably shouldn't.

00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:55,048

- Oh.

- So I will! Ha.

00:02:58,052 --> 00:02:59,303

Oh!

00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:00,971

Wow.

00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:03,557

- It's like it's raining.

- Pretty cool, huh?

00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:07,019

But if you think a fish wouldn't get

sucked into the mechanism...

00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,062

...well, you'd be wrong.

00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:12,900

Um, can I use your bathroom?

00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:17,237

- It's, uh, right through there.

- Okay. Ah.

00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:19,281

You know, I gotta tell you.

00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,366

If someone told me a week ago...

00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:25,078

...that I would be peeing

in Joey Tribbiani's apartment...

00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,748

Life's pretty great, isn't it?

00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,585

I hope you're hungry.

00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,837

We're starting with oysters.

00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,174

You know what they say about oysters,

don't you?

00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,468

They have parasites?

00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:42,054

No. Ha, ha.

00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:46,934

Um, well, some people say

that oysters are an aphrodisiac.

00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,728

- What people?

- People.

00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,647

People say it.

00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:54,316

Come here.

00:03:57,695 --> 00:04:00,447

- So, oysters, huh?

- Ha-ha-ha.

00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:03,408

And then we're gonna have a little

Middle Eastern couscous.

00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:04,993

Something we can eat...

00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,246

...with our hands.

00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,665

When we were studying

communicable diseases...

00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,917

No, no, no.

00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,293

It's sensual.

00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:16,171

- Oh. Didn't know. Okay.

- Okay.

00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,381

[PAGER BEEPS]

00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:19,466

Oh, no!

00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,510

I'm sorry, it's the hospital.

00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,096

The food looks great.

Save me some?

00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,431

I can't promise anything.

00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:37,859

We're really gonna do this, huh?

00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,444

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:41,154

Looks like it.

00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:45,784

If this is too weird for you,

you can still back out...

00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:47,244

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:49,413

- I got it!

- Okay.

00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:52,749

- Susan, hi.

- Hey.

00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:57,254

- Thank you so much for coming.

- I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:01,717

I'm Ross, by the way.

00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:03,719

Hello, Ross.

00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:08,640

- I love what you've done with this space.

- Thank you so much. Heh.

00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,313

How hot is this?

00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,154

I'm sorry you're here with me

instead of Roger.

00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,530

Yeah, me too.

00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,868

Well, I could make it seem

like he's here.

00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:31,496

"Here's some little-known facts

about couscous:

00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:36,376

They didn't add the second 'cous'

until 1979."

00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:39,296

[BABBLES]

00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:42,466

- Stop it! That's not funny!

- Okay.

00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:44,384

I'm sorry, okay? It's just...

00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:48,055

...tonight was supposed to be,

you know, a big deal.

00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:51,058

- What was tonight?

- You don't want to know what tonight was.

00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:52,768

Okay.

00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:55,520

What was tonight?

00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:01,401

Tonight was going to be my first time.

00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:03,070

With Roger?

00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:08,367

Not just with Roger? Oh, my God.

00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:11,620

All right, relax,

Mr. I've-Had-Sex-Four-Times!

00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:16,333

Four different women!

00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,835

I've had sex way more times.

00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:20,629

How many?

00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,631

Nine.

00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,135

I'm just waiting for the perfect guy.

00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:30,889

Well, good. Good for you.

You really think Roger's the perfect guy?

00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:34,601

No, but he's not a horrible guy.

00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:36,853

That's what I tell girls about me.

00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:40,023

Chandler, I'm gonna die a virgin!

00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,901

No, you're not.

You are sweet and wonderful...

00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,903

...and this is gonna happen for you.

00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,823

Oh, really? When?

Do you want to do it with me?

00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,366

Okay.

00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:54,871

I was kidding.

00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:56,915

So was I.

00:07:03,047 --> 00:07:04,506

Joey.

00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:07,467

You're such an amazing actor.

00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:12,431

How do you know where

Dr. Drake Ramoray leaves off...

00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:15,100

...and Joey Tribbiani begins?

00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:18,645

Well, with Dr. Drake...

00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:21,606

...they always tell me what to say.

00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:28,113

And with Joey, I pretty much have to

make it up on my own.

00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,574

- Wow.

- Mm.

00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,868

Tell me something. Whoa!

00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:38,748

- I just fell right off the couch there.

- Yeah, you did.

00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:40,000

I'm okay.

00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:43,920

- Here you go. Let me ask you a question.

- Whoops. Yeah.

00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,631

When was the last time...

00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:49,509

...someone told you

just how beautiful you are?

00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,053

Wow.

00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:54,264

I can't feel my hands.

00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:57,559

Come on. Come here.

00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:03,106

- Huh?

- Huh.

00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:04,983

- Oh?

- Ooh.

00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,748

[GAGS]

00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:23,376

[RETCHES]

00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:29,341

- We can't do this.

- No!

00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,343

[BOTH LAUGHING]

00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,136

- Oyster?

- Yeah.

00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:38,934

If... lf! If we did do this,

there'd be a lot of pressure on me.

00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:43,522

Because you've waited a long time,

and I wouldn't want to disappoint you.

00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,565

But I have nothing to compare it to.

00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:48,401

So even if you were horrible,

how would I know?

00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,821

I do like that.

00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,200

It's harder for me.

I have four women to compete with.

00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,702

Well, if it helps, there were only three.

00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,248

So it'd just be for tonight?

00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:04,793

Absolutely. It would just be one

friend helping out another friend.

00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,420

Stop it. We're not doing this.

00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:08,880

- Let's do it!

- No!

00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,091

- Okay!

- Okay!

00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,593

So, um...

00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:15,929

Do you have any, uh, moves?

00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,184

I have some moves.

00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,396

- I have no moves.

- Okay.

00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:28,191

Oh, okay, what you doing there?

00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:32,070

- I'm sorry, this is just too weird.

- Yeah, forget it.

00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,864

- What if I turn out the lights?

- Okay.

00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,538

CHANDLER:

Oh, yeah.

00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:45,083

MONICA: Chandler?

CHANDLER: Yeah?

00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:48,169

MONICA:

That's the couch.

00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:55,176

Oh, my God!

00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,096

I know!

00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,640

I'll tell you something.

00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:03,768

We are gonna do that again!

00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:07,397

- Oh, okay!

- Ah!

00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,992

Morning.

00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:22,954

- Oh, right.

- Yeah.

00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,624

Oh, God.

00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:30,629

Oh, I can't believe Joey Tribbiani

heard me throw up.

00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:33,506

He actually saw you a little bit too.

00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:34,966

No.

00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,637

Oh, God, we... We didn't, uh?

00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:40,639

No. No, no.

00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:43,183

Not after seeing that.

00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:47,145

God, I'm just a horrible person.

00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,981

- Well, why?

- Because I'm married.

00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,025

That's right, I'm a married woman.

00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,612

I came to a TV star's apartment

to have an affair. Ugh!

00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:58,406

That's ridiculous.

00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:01,451

I'm not a "star."

00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:05,121

I'm just a regular famous actor.

00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:09,334

And I'm a horrible, horrible person.

00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,170

Rachel, will you stop saying that?

00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,588

Hey. Hey, look.

00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:17,717

Remember on the show

when Capri was dying?

00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:20,303

- And she gave me...

- The ring from the cave. Yeah.

00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,596

Wow.

00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,473

Uh, okay, well...

00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,183

Uh...

00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,228

[GASPS]

00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:31,189

Oh, my God!

They let you keep that stuff?

00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:35,485

Sure. As long as they don't find out,

you can keep whatever you want.

00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:37,570

And I want you to have it.

00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,489

- No, I couldn't.

- Yes. Yes.

00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,366

And every time you look at it...

00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:45,161

...I want you to remember

that you are a good person.

00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,539

Now, you had the chance to cheat...

00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,166

...and with me.

00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:55,714

But you didn't.

And that's what this ring stands for.

00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:59,801

But I thought that ring stood for

Capri's undying love for her brother.

00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:02,262

- Look, you want the ring or not?

- Yeah!

00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,769

ROSS:

Hey, look at you! You're up!

00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:12,272

JOEY: All right.

- I thought I'd try to take a walk.

00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,482

You pour me some water.

I'll be back soon.

00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:17,402

Whoa, whoa.

You're not gonna call work, are you?

00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,529

No. I've learned my lesson.

00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:26,327

Let's go. Come on. Move it.

00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:28,079

Phoebe, come on!

00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:31,958

Shoes, briefcase. Thanks, Lou.

Good luck with the gallbladder.

00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,341

Hey, Joe...

00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:42,427

...did you ever have a threesome?

00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:45,889

[CHUCKLES]

00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:49,601

Look, Ross. Carol's great, and I'm sure

you're a very attractive man, but...

00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,060

No, I...

00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:54,773

No. The reason I'm asking is that...

00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,317

[CHUCKLES]

00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,611

...I sort of had one last night.

00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,196

- You?

- Yeah.

00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:03,239

- Wow. All right.

- Yeah.

00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:05,366

So? Was it amazing?

00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:07,035

It was, heh...

00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,536

...okay.

00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:12,415

Just okay? Did you do it right?

00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:17,712

Look, it's just, did you ever

go to a party and think:

00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,925

"Would anyone really miss me

if I weren't here?"

00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,136

Huh.

00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,555

But still, Ross.

00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:31,434

Your worst day with two women,

pretty much better than any other day.

00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,269

Oh, oh, no, absolutely.

00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:34,687

[BOTH LAUGHING]

00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,815

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:39,943

It's just...

00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:43,738

...my part seemed to be over

pretty quickly...

00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:46,449

...and then there was

a lot of waiting around.

00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:48,618

Oh.

00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:50,954

But you got to be with

both of them, right?

00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:53,915

Not really.

00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,210

Eh, just Carol.

00:13:57,378 --> 00:14:00,463

- Not the other one?

- No, she kept kicking me away.

00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:02,632

- You don't want that.

- No.

00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,511

Hey, at least you got to see a lot of stuff.

00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:10,181

Oh, I saw a lot of stuff.

00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,977

- You get a little bored?

- A little.

00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,146

- Yeah. Made a snack.

- Yeah?

00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:21,568

- What'd you have?

- Just a sandwich.

00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:24,821

Turkey. A little mustard.

00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:27,031

- Sounds good.

- It really was.

00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:32,912

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:37,166

Let me tell you about this chick

I scored with last night.

00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:41,379

- Oh, no, wait a minute, that was you.

- Heh.

00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:44,716

Hey, check me out. I'm a slut!

00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,262

So you, uh,

want to do something tonight?

00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,764

Oh, I can't.

Dr. Roger's coming over again.

00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:55,643

Oh. Oh, right.

00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:59,230

Right. Because you're still seeing him,

and, uh, he's a good guy.

00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:00,523

I remember a time...

00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,609

[SNORES]

00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:06,321

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, totally.

00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:07,488

Totally. Are you?

00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:09,574

Great. It's so amazing.

00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:13,077

Last time Dr. Roger came over,

I was so nervous.

00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:17,457

But after being with you,

I'm like, "Can the doctor see me now?"

00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,375

I'll bet he can.

00:15:19,543 --> 00:15:23,212

"I don't have an appointment,

but I sure could use a physical." Ha, ha.

00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:25,965

[CHUCKLES]

00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:31,137

- You sure you're okay?

- Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.

00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,389

[YELLS]

00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:41,522

Aah!

00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,567

My God! Barry!

00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:47,987

- You said you'd be away all weekend!

- Oh!

00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:51,115

That's right, I'm sorry. I am early!

00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:54,243

Finish, please!

00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:02,627

Surprise, look who's back.

00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,462

- Hey, Pheebs.

- Hey.

00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,339

Call security.

00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:09,300

Pheebs, uh, didn't you get fired?

00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:10,969

Heh, I don't think so.

00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:14,889

- Phoebe?

- Jack! Hey. Ha, ha.

00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,725

- What are you doing here?

- All better. Back to work.

00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,103

This clown from research

told me I was fired.

00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:22,480

He should do his research, huh?

Ha-ha-ha.

00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,692

Well, you were fired.

00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,194

Nuh-uh.

00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,488

I told that guy

who answered your phone.

00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:33,908

Oh, okay. I didn't get that message.

So this doesn't count.

00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,244

- Anyway, I'll be in my office.

- Ah, heh.

00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,746

Phoebe, you don't have an office.

00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,249

All right, I'll work right here.

00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:43,835

This is good. Next to this plant.

00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:47,755

- Phoebe, let's...

- You're in my office.

00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:53,386

Look, I've made a lot of cash for this

company. I am talking big bucks!

00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:57,181

Pesos! Yen! Rubles!

You make one little mistake...

00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:59,308

You lost 13 million dollars.

00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:01,394

So now this is all about money?

00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:04,981

You know, it's bad enough that...

Ow!

00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,316

Oh, you have got to be kidding.

00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,820

- Are you all right?

- I'm having another heart attack.

00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:13,990

- What?

- I'm having another heart attack!

00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:16,617

Call 911!

00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,578

Dumb-ass!

00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:22,373

Pheebs, how's it going?

00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:25,043

They fired me,

and I'm having a heart attack.

00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,503

- Well, welcome back.

- Yeah.

00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:32,717

- Hi, Ross.

- Hi, Rachel.

00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,678

- Is Joey Tribbiani here?

- Um, no.

00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:39,348

If you see him, please tell him

that I'm looking for him...

00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:43,478

...and that this time

I am not gonna throw up!

00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:47,482

- Are you okay?

- Me? I'm great!

00:17:47,649 --> 00:17:50,318

I'm fine! I'm so good.

00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,154

But you know who's not great?

00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,530

Men!

00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:56,240

- You're a man, right, Ross?

- Yeah.

00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,159

- Sit down.

- Okay.

00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,370

Let me, uh, ask you something.

00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:05,792

Do wedding vows mean squat

to you people?

00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:10,254

Why is it that the second

we go out of town...

00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:14,008

...bam, there you are in bed

with the neighbor's dog-walker?

00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:19,305

We're sorry.

00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:25,269

No, seriously. Seriously. What has

happened to the sanctity of marriage?

00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:30,399

- Didn't you spend last night at Joey's?

- Oh, what are you, a detective?

00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,613

I don't know what's going on

with you and your husband...

00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:38,407

...and what is hopefully

an adult dog-walker.

00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:43,371

Look, can I just say,

not all men are like that.

00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,039

- Ugh.

- Hey, there are some men...

00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,750

...who'll do whatever

to make their marriage work.

00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:50,461

There are some men

who will stand by and watch...

00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:55,258

...as their wives engage in what can

only be described as a "twosome"...

00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:58,928

...with some woman she barely knows

from the gym!

00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,140

Who are these men?

00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:04,725

Just men. A guy I know.

00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:08,729

Well, you might want to tell him

it sounds like his wife...

00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:11,065

...is gay.

00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,984

She is not...

00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:19,532

She's gay.

00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,870

Oh, my God.

00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,957

She is so gay!

00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,963

I can't believe this.

00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:37,049

Good day for married people, huh?

00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:41,888

I'm sorry your husband cheated on you.

00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:44,599

I'm sorry your wife is gay.

00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:50,563

- I guess women aren't that great either.

- Try telling my wife that.

00:19:56,653 --> 00:20:00,156

- Okay to come in?

- Yeah, come in, eat, whatever you want.

00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,366

Dr. Roger got beeped again.

00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,994

Yeah, I know. Guess who beeped him?

00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:10,291

- What?

- I'm the ruptured spleen. Ha, ha!

00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:15,504

- Why would you do that?

- Because you shouldn't be with him.

00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:20,676

You should be with me.

00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,306

- Really?

- When you were talking about Roger...

00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,892

...that was killing me. Look.

00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,394

Things like last night don't just happen.

00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:34,732

At least not to me. I mean,

with the other two women...

00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:40,863

...in the morning, I couldn't wait

to just go hang out with my friends.

00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:43,407

But with you...

00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:48,287

...heh, I was, you know,

already with a friend.

00:20:49,122 --> 00:20:52,708

- Chandler.

- You probably don't want to go out with me.

00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:56,587

I make too many jokes,

I've never been in a serious relationship...

00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:59,423

...and I guess I'm not

technically a "doctor."

00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:09,892

There was just one woman,

wasn't there?

00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,270

No, there were two.

00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,355

- Including me?

- Oh, yeah.

00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:25,074

[SINGING] It only takes two heart attacks

To finally make you see

00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:30,329

One of them won't do it

But the second will set you free

00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:37,586

Tell all your hate and anger

It's time to say goodbye

00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:40,214

And that is just what I will do

00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:43,175

Soon as those bastards I worked for die

00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:50,558

La, la-la la, la la la la la la

La la la, la la la-la-la la

00:21:52,602 --> 00:21:54,603

[English - US - SDH]