Эпизод c «унаги»

00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:09,591

- Yeah.

PHOEBE: Mm-hm.

00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:12,177

Yeah. What was I thinking?

00:00:12,887 --> 00:00:17,599

Hey, so, what's with the 20 percent tip?

Did I do something wrong?

00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:21,061

Twenty percent is a pretty generous tip.

00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:24,398

You know what's more generous than that?

Fifty percent.

00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:28,777

- You know what's even more generous?

- I see where you're going.

00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:32,614

- What's up with the greed, Joe?

- All right, look, I'm sorry, you guys.

00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:35,367

It's just that I gotta get

these new headshots made...

00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:37,494

...and they're really expensive, you know.

00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:39,621

I'm down to like three.

00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:43,542

Actually, two, because one of them

I kind of blackened in some teeth.

00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,878

Why'd I do that? Ugh.

00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:49,298

Well, isn't there something you can do

to earn a little extra money?

00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:52,551

I mean, can't you pick up,

I don't know, an extra shift here?

00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,888

Or, you know, I used to beg for money.

00:00:57,682 --> 00:01:01,310

Of course, it helps if you've got,

you know, a little of this going on.

00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,979

- Wow, I still have it. Ha, ha.

JOEY: Yeah.

00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:07,858

Wait, don't you have an audition today?

Yeah. Maybe you'll get that job.

00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,109

Oh, ha-ha-ha.

00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:12,446

Oh, wait a minute.

00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:15,449

I used to get medical experiments

done on me all the time.

00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:19,036

Ah, finally, an explanation.

00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:22,831

No, I used to get paid

for all kinds of medical stuff, remember?

00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:27,336

Let's see. Uh...

Well, I don't wanna donate sperm again.

00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:30,422

I really prefer doing that at the home office,

you know?

00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:34,676

Ooh, ooh, maybe they want some

of my blood or spit or something, huh?

00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:36,220

- Joey.

- Yeah?

00:01:36,387 --> 00:01:39,598

What did I tell you about talking

to your friends while you're working?

00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,183

Uh, do it?

00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,561

That guy's been waiting for his coffee

for 10 minutes.

00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:47,397

He's complained about you three times.

00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:51,235

Now, where was I?

00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,026

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:36,238

- Hey, what have you been up to?

- Oh. We went to a self-defense class today.

00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:37,447

Wow.

00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:41,535

Yeah. Kicking a guy in the crotch

all morning really takes it out of you.

00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,996

Takes it out of you? Heh.

00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,624

- No, now we can kick anybody's ass.

- Yeah.

00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:50,043

After one class? I don't think so.

00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,921

What, you wanna see me

self-defend myself?

00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:55,424

Go over there

and pretend you're a sexual predator.

00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,342

Go on, I dare you.

00:02:58,094 --> 00:03:01,930

Of course you can defend yourself

from an attack you know is coming.

00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,932

That's not enough.

00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:07,394

Look, I studied karate for a long time.

00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:11,690

And there's a concept

you should really be familiar with.

00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:16,236

It's what the Japanese call unagi.

00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:19,990

Isn't that a kind of sushi?

00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:25,329

- No, it's a concept.

- Yeah, it is, it is. It's freshwater eel.

00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,456

All right, maybe it means that too.

00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,751

Oh, I would kill

for a salmon-skin roll right now.

00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,172

You know what? Fine, get attacked.

I don't even care.

00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:39,092

Come on, Ross, we're sorry.

Please tell us what it is.

00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:46,391

Unagi is a state of total awareness.

00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,186

Okay? Only by achieving true unagi...

00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:53,941

...can you be prepared

for any danger that may befall you.

00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:57,402

In case someone's trying

to steal your bamboo sleeping mat...

00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:58,612

...or your kettle of fish?

00:03:58,780 --> 00:03:59,821

[RACHEL LAUGHS]

00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,616

[LAUGHS]

00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,702

All I'm saying is,

it's one thing being prepared...

00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,871

...for an attack against, like, each other.

00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:10,874

Whole other story being prepared

for an attack, I don't know...

00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,834

A surprise!

00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:26,265

All right, you knew that was coming,

but that doesn't mean you have unagi.

00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:32,771

Ooh, if we made reservations,

we could have unagi in about a half-hour.

00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,523

You know what?

00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:38,443

- Hey, hey, is Monica here?

- No.

00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:42,197

Okay, look, I need your help.

I don't know what to get for Valentine's Day.

00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:47,119

Well, Valentine's Day was two weeks ago,

so I wouldn't get her a calendar.

00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:51,456

Heh. She was working on Valentine's Day,

so we're celebrating it tonight.

00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:55,877

Oh, hey, why don't you book a day for both

of you at one of those romantic spas?

00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,463

Ooh, Joey,

that's actually a really good idea.

00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:01,717

Yeah, and of course, crotchless panties.

00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:07,014

Well, as appealing as that does sound

to her boyfriend...

00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:09,182

...and her brother...

00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,522

...I can't. We promised

we'd make each other gifts this year.

00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,024

- Oh, I love that.

- You guys.

00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:19,526

You can't make crotchless panties?

You take...

00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,698

- You take a pair of scissors and just cut...

- Okay, okay, okay.

00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,576

So making things,

that sounds so much fun.

00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:31,038

I thought so too,

until I papier-mâchéd one of my eyes shut.

00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,957

I love papier-mâché. What did you make?

00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,167

I made a:

00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,752

[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]

00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:39,087

- What is that?

- Nothing.

00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,464

Oh.

00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:42,799

So, what are you gonna do?

00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:45,802

Have you guys made anything

that I could take credit for?

00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:49,556

Ooh, I have, I have.

I started making these little sock bunnies.

00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,933

Oh, for crying out loud.

00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,979

Hey, wait a minute. That is my sock.

00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,524

Now it's your little bunny friend.

00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,443

[LAUGHS]

00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,745

Okay.

00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,501

This actually is a:

00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:19,044

[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]

00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,464

- Hey.

- Hey, honey.

00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:25,258

Can I ask you a question

about the Valentine's Day gifts?

00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,969

- Oh, yeah.

- Do we have to make the entire thing?

00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,806

Yes. Why, did you forget to make yours?

00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,767

Of course not.

00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:35,435

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:38,772

I just have to, uh, go over to the place

where I made it and pick it up.

00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:39,981

- Okay.

- Okay.

00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:42,401

I can't wait.

It's gonna be the best Valentine's Day ever.

00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:44,111

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:48,782

I can't believe it.

Make the presents. Make the presents.

00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:53,286

- What?

- Just so excited to make the presents!

00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,455

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,418

Shoot.

00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,964

Hi, I'm Joey Tribbiani.

00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,967

And with all due respect,

I'd like to donate some fluids.

00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,263

We're at the end

of one of our research cycles...

00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,473

...so we're not looking

for applicants now.

00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:16,226

That's too bad.

I've kind of been saving up.

00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:23,191

Uh, you sure there's no studies

I can participate in?

00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,444

Well, here's a schedule

of what's coming up.

00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:27,195

Ah, thanks.

00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,239

Oh, but this one starts now.

00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:32,409

That one is available now,

but only identical twins are eligible.

00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,245

- It's a twin study.

- But it's $2000.

00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:38,248

- Sorry.

- Oh.

00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,084

Well, how about this one?

00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:46,673

"Testing the Effects of Joey Tribbiani

on Attractive Nurse Receptionists."

00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:51,386

We already got the results back

on that one, and they're not good.

00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,350

- That was good.

- Wasn't that a blast?

00:07:57,518 --> 00:08:00,770

- Danger! Danger!

- God, Ross!

00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:06,443

What the hell was that?

00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:10,697

A lesson in the importance of unagi.

00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:13,116

[RACHEL GROANS]

00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:14,993

You're a freak.

00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,245

Perhaps.

00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,081

Now, I'm curious.

00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:25,629

At what point during those girlish screams

would you have begun to kick my ass?

00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:30,550

All right, so we weren't prepared.

00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:35,430

I'm sorry I had to take

such drastic measures to make my point.

00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,766

But, look,

I just want you guys to be safe.

00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,309

Oh...

00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,645

Danger!

00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:48,985

Ah, huh? Unagi.

00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:57,827

JOEY:

Two thousand bucks is a lot of money.

00:08:57,995 --> 00:09:00,413

Boy, I wish I had a twin.

00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:03,041

Where could I find someone...

00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:06,962

...who looks exactly like me?

00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:27,816

Hey.

00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,776

Chandler.

00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,655

I sensed it was you.

00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:36,992

What?

00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,160

Unagi.

00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:41,705

I'm always aware.

00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:44,833

Okay, are you aware that unagi is an eel?

00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,462

- What's up?

- I can't figure out what to make Monica.

00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:52,048

Oh. Why don't you make her

one of your little jokes?

00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:53,550

I'm going crazy, okay?

00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:56,219

Do you have anything around here

that looks homemade?

00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:59,723

Oh, you know what? She'd love this.

00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:03,310

It's an exact replica of Apollo 8.

I made it in the sixth grade.

00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:08,273

Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say,

"Your love sends me to the moon."

00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,651

Yeah, yeah. Except Apollo 8

didn't actually land on the moon.

00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:12,986

But you could write, um:

00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:18,199

"Your love lets me orbit the moon twice

and return safely."

00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,036

Wait, I can't give this to her.

00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:24,205

- Why not?

- It says "Captain Ross" on the side.

00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:28,960

- And it says "I hate Monica" on the bottom.

- Oh.

00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,884

PHOEBE & RACHEL: Danger!

ROSS: Aah!

00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:45,018

Ah. Salmon-skin roll.

00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:51,316

Okay, okay.

00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,707

Yes, honey, I made it myself.

00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:24,099

I can't do it. I can't do it.

00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:30,772

Oh, oh. A mixed tape. A mixed tape.

00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,566

- Hey, hi.

- Hey.

00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:36,653

- You ready to exchange gifts?

- Sure. Okay, you go first.

00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,405

- Okay, come here, come here.

- Okay.

00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:41,700

Okay, now, it's not wrapped,

because I just finished it.

00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,159

Okay.

00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:46,913

But I made you a tape

of what I think are all romantic songs.

00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,415

[GASPS]

00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:50,250

What a great gift.

00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,585

Oh.

00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:55,338

Is "The Way You Look Tonight" on it?

00:11:58,008 --> 00:12:00,051

Maybe. We'll have to listen and see.

00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:04,305

- Oh, I love it. Thank you so much. Mwah.

- Aw. Okay. Mwah.

00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:06,224

Okay, you ready to open yours?

00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,393

- Yeah.

- Okay.

00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,239

It's a sock bunny.

00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:24,159

Ha, ha. Yeah, yeah.

Remember how I call you "bunny"?

00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,786

Not really.

00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:31,124

Well, I did one time.

And I wanna start doing it more.

00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,461

- That's what this is about.

- I see.

00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,130

You know, um,

Phoebe makes sock bunnies.

00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,339

No. No, she doesn't.

00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:41,009

Phoebe, what she makes, that's...

They're sock rabbits.

00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,720

They're completely different. Okay, okay.

00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:47,307

Okay, I didn't make it. I'm sorry.

I totally forgot about tonight...

00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,768

...and that we were supposed

to make the presents.

00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:52,896

- Oh, it's okay. I don't...

- No, no, it's not okay. It's not.

00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,564

I mean, you're so incredible.

00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:58,777

You went through all this time

and effort to make this tape for me.

00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:03,239

You know, I'm just gonna...

I'm gonna make this up to you. I will.

00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:07,577

I am going to cook you anything you want

in here.

00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:12,332

And I'm going to do anything you want

in there.

00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:17,545

Well, I did put a lot of thought

into the tape.

00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,473

Wow.

00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,058

[MONICA CHUCKLES]

00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:36,439

- You are way too young to have seen that.

- Oops. Ha, ha.

00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,483

Your birthday's in a month and a half.

00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,985

What do you say I forget

to get you a present for that too?

00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:42,237

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:46,199

You are totally and completely

100 percent forgiven.

00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:47,450

[MONICA CHUCKLES]

00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:48,993

- We have got to wash that.

- Yeah.

00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:55,708

Hey, do you remember that jacket

that you loved so much...

00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:59,337

...that you thought was too expensive?

- You have done enough.

00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:02,090

Ha, ha. I'm gonna wake up early

and get it for you.

00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,425

No, you don't have...

Get it in black, not brown.

00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:06,719

[TIMER DINGS IN KITCHEN]

00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:09,347

- Oop. Your cake is ready.

- Oop.

00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,311

It's like that old saying,

"Have sex, eat some cake."

00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:16,604

[MONICA CHUCKLES]

00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:22,443

Hey, Mon. Hey, Chan.

Just getting a soda.

00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,242

Who the hell are you?

00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:31,786

I'm Joey.

00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,539

How are you doing?

00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:39,002

No, no, no!

00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:40,753

"How you doing?"

00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:45,091

"How you doing?"

Damn it, Carl. Go wait in the hall.

00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:56,477

- Look, I got to apologize on behalf of Carl.

- Who the hell is Carl?

00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:58,271

Oh, did I not mention?

00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:05,153

Carl is a guy I hired to be my identical twin

for a medical research project.

00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:11,618

You know, sometimes the good ideas

are just right in front of you, aren't they?

00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:14,370

Look, I know it sounds crazy,

but I think it might work.

00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:16,998

But the only problem is Carl's acting is:

00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,417

The only problem?

00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:23,963

Yeah. He's the reason I didn't get

that big Minute Maid commercial.

00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:27,050

We were supposed to be brothers,

but he messed it up.

00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:29,844

Hey. Can I get a little piece of that cake?

00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:33,014

Pizza. We like pizza. Get out!

00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:43,274

- Pat Sajak?

- Yep.

00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,318

- Alex Trebek?

- Oh, of course.

00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:47,195

- Chuck Woolery?

- Definitely.

00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:51,407

Phoebe, you will not find

a single game-show host...

00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:53,242

...whose ass I cannot kick.

00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,377

[GROANS]

00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:05,046

- Say it.

- Say we are unagi.

00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,717

It's not something you are,

it's something you have.

00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:11,803

Say it.

00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,638

I could easily get out of this...

00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:17,767

...but there's a chance

you could get very, very hurt.

00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:21,229

[ROSS YELPS]

00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:34,701

All right, Carl, we're next.

Now, remember, what is this not gonna be?

00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:37,787

- Another Minute Maid fiasco.

- That's right.

00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:39,372

And what are you not gonna do?

00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:43,292

- I'm not gonna talk, because...

- Ah. Damn it, Carl.

00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:45,753

[SPUTTERS]

00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,549

Can I have the next one, please?

00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,134

Thank you.

00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:53,344

Joey and Tony Tribbiani.

00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:54,887

That's us.

00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:58,516

But, uh, this is a study

for identical twins.

00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:02,103

That's right. Two thousand dollars.

00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,605

But you're not identical twins.

00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,110

Damn it, Carl.

00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,036

Oh, my good God.

00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:23,791

Hey. Continuing the countdown

of your favorite meals.

00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:26,753

Tonight, number three:

00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:30,798

Macaroni and cheese

with cut-up hot dogs.

00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:36,012

Look, you have done enough, okay?

You have to stop this now.

00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,056

I will, but not tonight.

00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:42,560

For dinner music, I thought we could listen

to that tape that you made me.

00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,520

- Oh, the mixed tape.

- Mm-hm.

00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,107

[TONY BENNETT'S "THE WAY YOU

LOOK TONIGHT" PLAYING ON STEREO]

00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:50,735

When I'm awfully low

00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:55,907

Oh. "The Way You Look Tonight"

is on here.

00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,325

Dance with me.

00:17:57,534 --> 00:18:00,578

I will feel a glow

00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:05,708

Just thinking of you

00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:12,590

And the way you look tonight

00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:19,055

You are just the sweetest.

00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:26,854

JANICE [ON STEREO]: I love the way

you look every night, Chandler.

00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:33,361

That's why I made you this tape.

00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:37,907

Happy birthday. Love, Janice. Mwah.

00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:45,206

No, you're the sweetest.

00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:51,629

[GRUNTS]

00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:56,050

Okay, ladies, that ends today's class.

Let's remember, let's be safe out there.

00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:05,017

- Great class. Heh.

- Thanks, man.

00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:07,061

Yeah, yeah. I was watching.

00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:12,400

Um, hey, a couple of questions, though.

00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:15,153

Um, you know that last move...

00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,406

...where that woman tripped you

and then pinned you to the floor?

00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,074

What would you do next?

00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,785

Well, then she'd take her keys

and jam them in your...

00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,997

No, no, no. What would you do next?

00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,083

- Who, me, the attacker?

- Yes, that's right.

00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:31,294

Why?

00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:35,047

I tried attacking two women.

Did not work.

00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:37,341

- What?

- No, I mean, it's okay.

00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:42,305

I mean, they're my friends.

In fact, I was married to one of them.

00:19:42,472 --> 00:19:44,849

Let me get this straight.

You attacked your ex-wife?

00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:47,768

Oh, no, no, no. Heh.

00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:49,896

I tried.

00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:54,567

But I couldn't. That's why I'm here.

00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,695

Maybe we could attack them together.

00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,908

That's a no.

00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:06,996

I am so, so, so sorry.

00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:09,165

Uh-huh.

00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:14,670

Oh! And I will cook anything you want

in here...

00:20:14,838 --> 00:20:18,633

...and do anything you want in there.

00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:23,095

Yeah, you will, and are you kidding me?

00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:28,476

Come on, Monica,

it's our Valentine's Day.

00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,811

Please, please, please?

00:20:33,106 --> 00:20:36,025

- Okay.

- Okay.

00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:38,694

["MY FUNNY VALENTINE"

PLAYING ON STEREO]

00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:45,243

JANICE [SINGING ON STEREO]:

My funny valentine

00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:49,956

Sweet comic valentine

You make me...

00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:53,668

- So are we going in there?

- I am.

00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:59,966

Your looks are laughable

00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:01,592

[JANICE LAUGHS ON STEREO]

00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,474

ROSS:

Aha.

00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:11,811

Nowhere to run.

00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:16,315

I don't like sitting up here.

I'm gonna go over...

00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:18,150

No, Rachel, they got here first.

00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:19,860

[RACHEL SIGHS]

00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:29,704

- Why is Ross doing that?

ROSS: Danger!

00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:34,709

Oh, my God.

Why is he jumping on those women?

00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:38,170

We should help them.

00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:40,548

I don't think they need any help.

00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:42,717

[ROSS SCREAMING]

00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:54,395

[English - US - SDH]