Эпизод с Маком и Чизом

00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:08,549

We'll never make it!"

00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:11,802

"You've got to get out of here!

Save yourself!"

00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,014

"No, I won't leave you."

00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:20,060

"Don't worry about me.

I'm a robot. I'm just a machine!"

00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:25,274

- "No, you're not. Not to me."

- Oh, my God.

00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:28,610

- What?

- I am extremely talented.

00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:30,863

- Yeah. You're great.

- Yeah.

00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:35,159

- Okay, let's take it from...

- No, I was really acting my ass off.

00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:38,078

I thought I was pretty good too.

00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:40,789

Yeah, you're solid. You're just no me.

00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,668

You know what?

I think that's enough for now.

00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,962

I don't want to be over-rehearsed.

Ha-ha-ha.

00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:50,215

Fine. I'll do it without you!

00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,552

I don't need you or anybody else!

00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:56,346

I'm gonna make it on my own!

00:00:57,682 --> 00:01:00,517

You'll see! You'll all see!

00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:44,353

So, what's this thing

you're auditioning for?

00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,271

It's a new TV show. Yeah.

00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:49,817

I'm up for the part of Mac,

Machiavelli, or "Mac"!

00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:56,031

I'm a detective and I solve crimes

with the help of my robot partner.

00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:58,784

He's a computerized, humanoid...

00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:02,037

...electronically enhanced

secret enforcer.

00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:04,081

Or, "C.H.E.E.S.E."

00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:10,420

- So, Mac and C.H.E.E.S. E?

- That's the title!

00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,967

They really lucked out

that the initials spell "cheese."

00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,344

That is lucky.

00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:21,265

Huh. So, Joey, if you get this,

you're gonna be, like...

00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:23,142

...the star of your own TV show.

00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:27,771

I mean, you'll be like the "Big Cheese"

or the "Big Mac." Hey, you love those!

00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:31,483

Don't get your hopes up,

because it's probably not gonna happen.

00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,402

Now, why would you say that, Joseph?

00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,655

Well, I mean, come on, you guys.

My own TV show?

00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,575

- I don't know if I'm good enough.

- I am. Heh.

00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:44,454

What are you talking about?

You're a terrific actor.

00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:48,125

- You really think so?

- How can you even ask that question?

00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:53,088

CHANDLER: She's pretty.

- Yeah. And she's really nice too.

00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:56,383

She taught me all about, you know,

how to work with cameras...

00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,552

...and "smell the fart" acting.

00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:04,016

- I'm sorry, what'd you say?

ROSS: Excuse me?

00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,269

It's like you got so many lines

to learn so fast...

00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:10,439

...that sometimes you need a minute

to remember your next one.

00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:15,736

So while you're thinking of it, you take

this big pause where you look all intense.

00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,404

You know, like this:

00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:21,158

RACHEL: Oh.

CHANDLER: Okay.

00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,409

[GUNSHOT ON TV]

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Here's my scene! Here's my scene!

00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:29,041

Mrs. Wallace? I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray,

your sister's neurosurgeon.

00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,710

You sister is suffering from a...

00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:42,179

[IN AUSTRIAN ACCENT] Well, Eva,

we've done some excellent work here.

00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:50,145

And I would have to say,

your problem is quite clear.

00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:54,524

[SINGING]

All you want is a dinkle

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What you envy's a schwang

00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:01,073

A thing through which you can tinkle

00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,243

Or play with or simply let hang

00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,828

I play Al Pacino's butt.

00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:13,335

All right? He goes into the shower

and then, I'm his butt.

00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,713

- Oh, my God.

- Come on, you guys.

00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:20,217

This is a real movie and Al Pacino's in it,

and that's big!

00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:24,304

No, it's terrific. You deserve this

after all your years of struggling...

00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:27,975

...you've finally been able

to crack your way into show business.

00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:35,023

Okay, fine, make jokes. I don't care.

This is a big break for me.

00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,401

- No, you're right, it is.

- Yeah.

00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,570

So, you gonna invite us all

to the big opening?

00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,908

All right, I'm out of here.

Wish me luck.

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[SINGING] Good luck, good luck

We all wish you good luck

00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,418

Yeah, whatever.

00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:00,924

It's your turn.

00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,885

Oh, are we playing this?

00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,764

- Hey.

- Hey. How did the audition go?

00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:12,144

Terrible. I messed up every line.

I shouldn't even be an actor.

00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,897

Wait. Are you doing that thing

where you pretend it didn't go well...

00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:17,482

...but it really did go well?

00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:23,280

- Yeah, did I fool you?

- Totally!

00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,949

- So, it did go well?

- It went amazingly well!

00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,159

- Great.

- That's great.

00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,703

- It's down to me and two other guys.

CHANDLER: Oh, my God.

00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:32,039

I know both of them,

and they're really good.

00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:35,334

One's from those allergy commercials

who's always being chased...

00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:38,378

...by those big flowers.

- Oh, I love that guy.

00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,465

Oh. What are you doing?

00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:43,300

What am I doing?

00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:48,805

I'm so nervous, you know?

The callback isn't till tomorrow at 5.

00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:50,724

I feel like my head's gonna explode.

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Well, it is overdue.

00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,104

Don't worry, okay?

You're gonna be fine.

00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:58,065

Yeah, but it's so much pressure.

00:05:58,232 --> 00:06:00,984

No offense, but what you guys all do

is very different.

00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,903

I don't know if you'd understand.

00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:06,365

Yeah, none of the rest of us

have to deal with pressure at our jobs.

00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,492

Yes, I know what time it is...

00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:11,370

...but I'm looking at the WENIS

and I'm not happy.

00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,915

Well, I'm tearing the lettuce.

00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:18,335

- Uh-huh? Is it dirty?

- No, don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.

00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,379

Don't. I like it dirty.

00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:25,092

That's your call.

00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:28,178

So, uh, what are you

going to do next?

00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:31,098

Well, I thought

that I would cut up the tomatoes.

00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:33,266

Are they firm?

00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:36,770

They're all right.

00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:41,775

You sure they haven't gone bad?

You sure they're not very, very bad?

00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,655

No, really. They're okay.

00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,574

You gonna slice them up real nice?

00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,701

Ahem. Actually,

I was gonna do them julienne.

00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:54,037

[MOANS]

00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,831

I'm out of here.

00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:59,543

Monica, I'm quitting. I just helped

an 81 -year-old woman put on a thong...

00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:01,461

...and she didn't even buy it.

00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:05,382

I'm quitting. That's it.

I'm talking to my boss right now.

00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,634

Yes, I am. Yes, I am.

00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:11,263

Okay, bye.

Call me when you get this message.

00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,556

Well, what happened?

00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:17,227

Well, he came in for a massage,

and everything was fine until...

00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,190

Oh, my God.

00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:25,610

PHOEBE: And all of a sudden,

his hands weren't the problem anymore.

00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,702

- Was it?

- Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under there.

00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:36,955

You ate my sandwich.

00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,666

It was a simple mistake.

It could happen to anyone.

00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,043

Oh, really?

00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:44,087

Now calm down.

00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:47,424

Come look in my office.

Some of it may still be in the trash.

00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,887

- What?

- Well, it was quite large.

00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:54,431

I had to throw most of it away.

00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:55,849

[STAMMERING]

00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:59,102

You threw my sandwich away?

00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:02,147

ROSS:

My sandwich?

00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,066

My sandwich!

00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,279

It's just, I want this part so much,

you know?

00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:13,575

If I don't get this part, I'm never

gonna eat macaroni and cheese again.

00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:16,328

No, I didn't say that.

That doesn't count.

00:08:20,374 --> 00:08:23,460

Come on, guys.

It's not like I moved to Europe.

00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,629

I just moved across the hall.

00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:28,006

And we would have you over

all the time...

00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:32,344

...if it weren't for Monica's allergies.

00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:36,097

You're right, I could never lie to you.

00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:37,641

She hates you.

00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:39,976

[PHONE RINGS]

00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:42,312

Should I get that? Ha-ha-ha.

00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:47,484

Hello? Uh, no,

Joey's not here right now.

00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,194

Can I take a message?

00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:53,073

Yeah, okay. So the audition's

been moved from 5 to 2:30?

00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:55,200

Okay, great. Bye.

00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:03,500

[YELLS]

00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:08,880

- Aren't you dressed yet?

- Am I naked again?

00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:12,133

We're supposed to meet my parents

in 15 minutes.

00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:15,011

Okay. I was just talking to the guys.

Just look at them.

00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:17,722

I mean, is it okay if they come visit?

00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:20,100

What about my allergies?

00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:23,019

Right. Your allergies.

00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,023

All her. She hates you.

00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:28,567

[QUACKING]

00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,077

CHANDLER:

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,621

Yes! All right.

00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:47,043

How cool would it be if you could watch

like a real life-size version of this?

00:09:47,211 --> 00:09:51,256

- I mean, how crazy would that be?

- As crazy as soccer?

00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:52,966

[PHONE RINGS]

00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:55,427

[JOEY CLEARS THROAT]

00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,636

Hello?

00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:01,182

What are you talking about?

The audition's not till 5.

00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:05,979

Well, nobody told me.

00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:08,023

Who'd you talk to?

00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,070

Never mind.

00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:17,449

You mean you didn't get it from this?

00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:20,243

The allergy guy got the part. Thanks.

00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,120

Maybe we can fix it, you know?

00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:26,082

Maybe we can send him

some big, big flowers and scare him!

00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,293

How could you do this to me?

00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,046

This part could've turned

my whole career around.

00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:34,049

I messed up, okay?

I'm sorry. I really messed up.

00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:37,177

You don't even live here anymore.

Why'd you answer my phone?

00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,846

- I have a machine!

- Which I bought for you.

00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:44,476

Taught you how to use it.

You thought it was a copier.

00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,480

If there was anything I could do,

I would do it, okay?

00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,775

But everybody's allowed

one mistake, right?

00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:55,111

He could have gotten me a VCR.

He could have gotten me golf clubs.

00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,697

But no, he has to get me

the "woman repeller."

00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,117

The eyesore

from the "Liberace House of Crap!"

00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,079

- It's not that bad.

- Easy for you to say.

00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:07,290

You don't have to sport a reject

from the "Mr. T Collection."

00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,792

Chandler. Chandler.

00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:12,253

[AS MR. T] I pity the fool

who puts on my jewelry! I do! I do!

00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:14,005

I pity the fool that...

00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,799

Hi...

00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:20,095

When you were late last night,

Kathy and I got to talking...

00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:23,348

...and one thing led to another and...

00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:26,017

And what? Did you sleep with her?

00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:30,063

- No! No, I just kissed her.

- What? That's even worse!

00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,817

- How is that worse?

- I don't know! But it's the same!

00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:37,362

You're right, I have no excuses.

I was totally over the line.

00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,697

"Over the line?"

00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:42,075

You're so far past the line

that you can't even see the line!

00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,827

Yeah, the line is a dot to you!

00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:47,664

I'm not saying that you should

magically forgive me.

00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:51,710

But you're not perfect. You've made

some errors in judgment too.

00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,086

Name one.

00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,047

What happened?

00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:59,968

Aw, man! He promised

he wouldn't take the chairs!

00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:03,221

What the hell happened?

How were you locked in?

00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,306

And where the hell's all of our stuff?

00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:07,684

This guy came by to look at the unit...

00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:11,146

...and he said he didn't think

it was big enough to fit a grown man.

00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:14,441

So you got in voluntarily?

00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:16,568

I was trying to make a sale!

00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:20,822

Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again,

you know what I'm gonna do?

00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,741

Bend over?

00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:24,743

There's Lorraine.

00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:29,289

Okay, now remember, no trading.

You get the pretty one, I get the mess.

00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,374

- Hi, Joey.

JOEY: Hey.

00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,002

[JOEY AND LORRAINE CHUCKLE]

00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:37,714

Well, well. Look what you brought.

00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,549

And what did you bring?

00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:43,428

She's checking her coat.

00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,890

Joey, I'm gonna go wash

the cab smell off my hands.

00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:50,685

Will you get me a white Zinfandel

and a glass of red for Janice?

00:12:55,608 --> 00:13:00,820

Janice?

00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:06,326

Oh, my God!

00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:09,746

Joey's tailor took advantage of me.

00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:11,748

What?

00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:15,418

No way. I've been going

to the guy for 12 years.

00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,504

He said he was gonna do my inseam...

00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:21,466

...then he ran his hand up my leg

and then there was definite...

00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,801

What?

00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,261

Cupping.

00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,600

That's how they do pants!

00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:33,728

Ross, will you tell him?

00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:38,191

- Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?

- Yes, yes, it is. In prison!

00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:42,111

I said name one!

00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:53,915

- I can't believe I did this. What an idiot.

- Stop beating yourself up.

00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,751

People make mistakes.

These things happen.

00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:02,048

There aren't any messages

you've forgotten to give me, are there?

00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,926

Apparently, you're not very good at it.

00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:08,263

- Do you think he'll ever forgive me?

- Of course he will.

00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:11,516

Chandler, the most important thing

is that you forgive yourself.

00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:14,602

- You know what, I kind of have.

- Already?

00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,688

That was pretty bad, what you did.

00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:19,649

You know what? He will forgive you.

00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:24,362

I like to bring a pad with me when I go

answer the phone, just in case. Okay.

00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,489

You didn't see how mad he was,

you know?

00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:28,283

I'm sure he will forgive you.

00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:31,411

Look, we've all been there, you know?

You fight, you make up.

00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:32,829

That's the way it works.

00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:36,040

It took two people to break up

this relationship!

00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,376

Yeah! You and that girl

from the copy place...

00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,212

...which yesterday you took

full responsibility for!

00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:44,382

I didn't know what I was taking

responsibility for, okay?

00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,342

I didn't finish the whole letter.

00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,219

- What?

- I fell asleep.

00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,096

You fell asleep?

00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:54,058

It was 5:30 in the morning.

00:14:54,226 --> 00:15:00,356

And you had rambled on for 18 pages.

00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:03,151

Front and back!

00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:09,407

And by the way? Y-O-U,

apostrophe R-E means, "you are."

00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,826

Y-O-U-R means "your."

00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:15,288

I can't believe I thought

of getting back together with you.

00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,290

We are so over!

00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:18,958

[WHIMPERING]

00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:20,418

Fine by me!

00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:25,340

And just so you know,

it's not that common...

00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:28,843

...it doesn't happen to every guy,

and it is a big deal!

00:15:30,387 --> 00:15:31,888

I knew it!

00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:36,392

- You had no right to go out with him.

- That is the most ridiculous...

00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,895

- You sold me out!

- I did not sell you out!

00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,565

- Yes, you did! You absolutely sold me...

- Would you let me talk?

00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,362

Did you just flick me?

00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:51,282

Okay, well, you wouldn't let me finish

and I was just... Ow!

00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,910

- Stop it! Ow!

- Ow!

00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:55,411

- Stop.

- Stop.

00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:58,498

- All right. No, let's not do this.

RACHEL: No!

00:15:58,666 --> 00:15:59,958

[BOTH YELL]

00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:02,001

- Happy thoughts.

RACHEL: No!

00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,753

[YELLING]

00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,297

- Stop it!

PHOEBE: Oh! Oh!

00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:09,384

Okay, now I'm gonna kick some ass!

00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,845

- Ow!

- Ow!

00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:15,682

MONICA & RACHEL: Ow. Ow. Ow.

PHOEBE: I know, I know.

00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:22,063

All right. Now, I will let go

if you both stop.

00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,898

- Fine.

- Fine.

00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,025

There we go.

00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:31,781

Ha. You know what? If we were in prison,

you guys would be like my bitches.

00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:42,083

Okay, buddy boy, here it is.

00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:46,546

You hide my clothes?

I'm wearing everything you own.

00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,382

Oh, my God!

00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:54,387

Look at me, I'm Chandler!

Could I be wearing any more clothes?

00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:58,266

Maybe if I wasn't going "commando."

00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,518

[GROANS]

00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:07,275

Whew. I tell you, it's hot with all this

stuff on. I'd better not do any lunges.

00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:00,828

Joey?

00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:05,708

Got you the Joey special. Two pizzas!

00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:08,086

Joe?

00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:09,587

[PHONE RINGS]

00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,798

Hello? Damn it!

00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,093

Hello?

00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:19,222

No, Joey's not here right now,

but I can take a message. I think.

00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:23,976

He's still got a chance for the part?

That's great news!

00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:28,106

Well, no, obviously not for the actor

who was mauled by his dog.

00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:32,110

Well, that's great.

I will give Joey the message. Thank you.

00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:33,319

Yes!

00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:35,738

Okay.

00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:37,532

Mac...

00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,909

...audition...

00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:42,703

...at 2.

00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,373

Allergy...

00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,166

...actor...

00:18:48,335 --> 00:18:49,919

...attacked.

00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:57,260

By dog...

00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,095

...not...

00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,055

...flowers.

00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:12,150

- Hey.

- Please tell me you got the message.

00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:15,111

- What message?

- The actor playing Mac couldn't do it.

00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:19,115

- They needed to see you at 2:00.

- What? It's 6:00!

00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:21,659

Look! I wrote it!

I wrote it on the board!

00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:24,745

I wrote it on the board,

then went looking all over for you!

00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:26,664

I went to Ross's, the coffee house.

00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,667

I went to any place

that they make sandwiches!

00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:33,171

- I can't believe this, Chandler!

- I'm sorry.

00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,214

I don't know what to say!

00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:38,885

You might say, "Congratulations."

00:19:39,052 --> 00:19:42,930

I saw the board, I went to the audition,

I got the part!

00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,267

Was that supposed to be funny?

I was worried over here.

00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:50,313

- I'm sorry.

- At times that fake-out thing is mean.

00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,940

Okay, man. I'm sorry.

I did not mean to make you feel bad.

00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,734

Well, that's good.

00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:58,112

Because you didn't.

And I'm incredibly happy for you!

00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,448

That's mean!

00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:04,911

- You had me going there!

- We could do this all day.

00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:06,621

Yeah, you're right.

00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:10,041

Look, let's talk about

what a huge star I'm gonna be.

00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,418

You are gonna be a huge star.

I'm gonna hug you.

00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,253

- You hug me.

- All right.

00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:17,256

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:46,160

- Do we do this too much?

- I think so.

00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,329

- Yeah. Get off me.

- Yeah.

00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,881

"Come on, C.H.E.E.S.E.,

I'm not leaving without you.

00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:02,218

Try routing your backup power source

through your primary CPU."

00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:07,014

"I can't! My circuits are fried!

They're fried, I tell you!"

00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,643

Wow.

00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,312

"Well, then I'll just have to carry you."

00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,481

"That'll be a neat trick...

00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:19,318

...when you're dead!"

00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:22,071

Ross, you don't have to yell.

00:21:22,239 --> 00:21:26,367

There was just an explosion, okay?

My hearing would be impaired.

00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:28,911

I thought you were excellent.

00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:32,081

In fact, for a minute there, I was like,

"Ooh, where did Ross go?"

00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:37,003

Thank you. And I have to say

that first scene where you meet Mac...

00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:39,297

- Yeah.

- Oh, my God. I mean...

00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:40,589

You know what?

00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:43,843

I think that's enough for today.

Thanks for your help.

00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:48,556

- Holding us back.

- Totally.

00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:54,270

[English - US - SDH]