Эпизод, в котором Росс знакомится с отцом Элизабет

00:00:03,753 --> 00:00:05,671

And your horoscope says:

00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:09,258

"On the 5th, a special someone

is going to give you a gift."

00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:12,052

- Oh, well, thank you in advance. Mm.

- Ha, ha.

00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:14,763

"But the 12th brings a lover's spat."

00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:17,558

You're going to make a joke

about my special present.

00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:20,853

Why would you do that?

00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:25,733

Oh, wait. "On the 19th,

a secret crush announces itself."

00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:32,656

- Hey, guys.

- Hey.

00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:35,200

Oh, my God! It's Joey Tribbiani

of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.

00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,119

[LAUGHING]

00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:40,122

That's right. It's your first day.

00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:43,584

Are you psyched to fight fake crime

with your robot sidekick?

00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:46,253

Am I psyched?

The lead in my own TV series?

00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:48,839

I've dreamed about this for years.

00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:51,425

Why have I not been preparing?

00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:54,762

No, Joey, you're gonna be great.

00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:58,599

But I gotta act with a robot.

I don't know anything about technology.

00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:01,727

I can't even use Chandler's computer,

except to find porn.

00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:06,231

And that's only because

it's there when you turn it on.

00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:10,986

Our lover's spat will start

a little early this month.

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I'll be waiting.

00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:58,075

Are you judging them by their covers?

Because you're really not supposed to.

00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:01,954

I'm deciding which one to use.

I'm going to start writing another book.

00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,874

Because the last one

was such a big seller?

00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:10,003

Well, if you must know,

I have written 14 books.

00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:12,548

And as I'm the only one

who has read them...

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...I can tell you that

they have all been very well received.

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- Hey.

- Hey.

00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,973

- Hi.

- What are you doing later?

00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,475

Oh, Rachel and I have to get our hair cut.

00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:26,645

- We do?

- I want to see what he wants first.

00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:30,774

I just found out Elizabeth's dad

wants to meet me.

00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:32,568

Wait a minute. Hold the phone.

00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:35,070

You're not Elizabeth's dad?

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Come on, guys.

I really want this guy to like me.

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It would really help me out

if you guys could be here...

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...to make me look good.

- Of course we'll help.

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- We'll be here.

- Thanks.

00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:50,544

We know how tough

those parent-teacher conferences can be.

00:02:55,884 --> 00:03:00,512

- So here's your office set.

- Wow, huh?

00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:04,975

Mac Machiavelli, Private Investigator.

Eh?

00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:07,686

- Let's get you to wardrobe for a fitting.

- Okay.

00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,646

Hey, uh, when do I meet the robot?

00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:12,107

Why don't we do that right now?

He's right here.

00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,776

- Okay.

- Joey Tribbiani, this is...

00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:18,197

Wow! He's so lifelike.

00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:20,574

Unbelievable.

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This is Wayne, the man who created

and operates C.H.E.E.S.E.

00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,038

How do you do there, buddy?

00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:29,291

- I'll let you two guys get acquainted, huh?

- Okay.

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Sorry about that.

00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:35,881

- Uh, so where's C.H.E.E.S. E?

- C.H.E.E.S.E. Is right here.

00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,347

Nice to meet you, Mac.

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[LAUGHING]

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- This is the temporary robot, right?

- No. Why?

00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:53,815

Well, I just thought it was gonna be

a really cool robot.

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Like the Terminator,

or, uh, when I first saw you.

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I spent two years developing this

machine. It's absolutely state of the art.

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I'm sorry. It doesn't look like

it can do anything.

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It can do this.

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[GIGGLES]

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Hey... Oh, ha, ha.

00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:23,262

This is my father, Paul Stevens.

Dad, this is Ross Geller.

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It's great to meet you, Paul.

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I prefer that Liz's boyfriends

to address me as Mr. Stevens.

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Uh, of course. Mr. Stevens.

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Good. So, Ross...

00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:37,901

...what's your problem?

00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:41,113

Excuse me?

00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,282

Why can't you get a girlfriend

your own age?

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Heh. It's funny...

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Um, it's not funny.

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I don't like you going out

with my daughter, Ross.

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Okay, um, I can see that.

00:04:55,461 --> 00:05:00,799

But I think if you give me, um, one chance,

I can change your mind.

00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,427

- Okay.

- What?

00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:06,763

Okay. I'll give you one chance

to change my mind.

00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:09,057

You've got one minute.

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- Daddy.

- Fine.

00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,479

Two minutes. Go.

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[STAMMERS]

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[CHUCKLES]

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A minute and 50 seconds.

00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,071

Okay, um...

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I want you to know, I have never

done anything like this before.

00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:29,703

I mean, I've been in, um,

relationships in general.

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But I've never done it with a student.

I mean, not...

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[LAUGHS]

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Not "it." We haven't done "it."

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Uh... We, I mean...

I mean, we've done stuff...

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Okay. Okay. A joke.

A joke. Lighten the mood.

00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:50,682

Um, two guys go into a bar.

One of them is Irish.

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- I'm Irish.

- And the Irish guy wins the joke.

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- Ross?

- Ross!

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- How crazy that we would run into you.

- Oh, my God! Thank you.

00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:03,904

Um, uh...

00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,198

Mr. Stevens,

I'd like you to meet my friends.

00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,283

This is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.

00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:12,746

So you're Elizabeth's father, huh?

I can see now where she gets her...

00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:15,082

...rugged handsomeness.

00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,711

Is there a Mrs. Stevens?

00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:22,881

There's a Mr. Bing!

00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:28,720

No, unfortunately, Lizzie's mom

passed away shortly after she was born.

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- I raised her by myself.

BOTH: Oh...

00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:34,142

I get that a lot.

00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:38,021

Okay, um, why don't we all

take a seat, you know? Heh.

00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:41,733

And, uh, I'll get us all

some, uh, coffees.

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Yeah, why don't you... Ahem. Uh...

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And you guys can talk about

whatever you want.

00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:50,409

Whatever pops into your head.

00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:54,830

It is so strange seeing Ross here,

this time of day...

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...because usually

he's at the children's hospital.

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Yeah. But not looking for dates.

00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:07,676

So, um, Monica is Ross' sister.

00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,469

He's a great brother!

00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:11,513

- I had a sister.

- Oh.

00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,390

- She passed away.

ALL: Oh...

00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,642

You don't have to do that every time.

00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:20,522

But, uh, Ross is a great guy.

I was roommates with him in college.

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Funny story, heh, ha, ha...

00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:26,319

Your roommate in college died,

didn't he?

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A part of him did, yes.

00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,285

Okay! Here we are, Paul, Elizabeth.

00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,079

I hope you guys were finding

something to talk about.

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- Yes. We were just...

- Sorry I'm late.

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But I am ready, ready to talk you up. Heh.

00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:44,921

- When does Liz's father get here?

- I'm already here.

00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:48,675

Oh, Ross is so great.

00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:57,142

Honey, you got the kind with the little girl.

You said we'd get the kind with the baby.

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- You said the baby creeps you out.

- The little girl creeps me out.

00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:03,231

- You said the baby.

- Why would the baby creep me out?

00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:06,151

Why would the little girl

creep you out?

00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,695

I'm sorry.

Can you please talk a little slower.

00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:11,198

- This is for your book?

- It's about relationships.

00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:13,992

You know, the traps, the pitfalls,

what not to do.

00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,995

- Keep going. This stuff's great.

- What?

00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,705

Excuse me.

00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:22,667

And how none of it matters

when the people really love each other.

00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,294

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

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And how people will believe anything you

tell them as long as it's a compliment.

00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,891

- Oh, hi! Hi.

- Hi. Hi.

00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:41,436

- I left my keys here somewhere.

- Oh, well, let's look for them.

00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:43,897

Under here... Oh, hey!

00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:46,066

Hey! Are these them?

00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,527

No.

00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:52,322

- All right.

- Oh.

00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:55,033

- Here they are.

- Good.

00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,868

- Thanks for your help.

- Wait! Sorry!

00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:58,870

- Mr. Paul?

- Just call me Paul.

00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:02,082

Paul. Um,

I just wanted you to know that...

00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,668

...you know, Ross really is a great guy.

00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:08,421

Maybe you could date him then. It

would save me the trouble of killing him.

00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:14,636

Are you okay?

00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,639

You just don't look old enough

to have a 20-year-old daughter.

00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,599

Well, we were very young

when we had her.

00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:24,396

- Ah. We?

- Yeah, it usually takes two people to...

00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,940

Oh, no! Yes! Of course. I know that.

00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:31,695

What I meant was are you still "we"

or are you just you?

00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:33,989

I'm just me. Yeah.

00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:36,825

My wife died shortly

after Lizzie was born.

00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,159

Oh.

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- So you raised her all on your own?

- Yes, I did.

00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,583

Oh...

00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,087

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:51,006

- How was your first day?

- Great.

00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,633

Except I got a little attitude

from the robot.

00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:57,137

Damn those robots. They're supposed

to be our faithful servants!

00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:00,724

It wasn't the robot,

it was the guy who controls him.

00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:04,227

He doesn't like me. He had C.H.E.E.S.E.

Knock over the sandwich table...

00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:06,771

...right when I was reaching for one. Ugh.

00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,607

Why don't you get him fired?

00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:12,444

I may have to. I hate to do it.

But I'm the star, you know?

00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,905

There's a limit to how many sandwiches

I can eat off the floor.

00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:17,657

[PHONE RINGS]

00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:20,118

Excuse me.

00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,579

Joey Tribbiani.

00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:26,458

Joe! I'm glad I found you!

I got an audition for you.

00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,628

JOEY: Wow.

- The thing is, it's kind of on the q.t.

00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:33,715

The actor who has the part

doesn't know he might be fired.

00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,842

It's the lead in a series.

00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,761

Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.

00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:41,348

I'm the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.

00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:43,767

Uh-oh.

00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,229

Joey?

00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,274

Hi, Ross.

00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:57,781

I was just getting him to like you.

00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,247

Joey?

00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,626

- Joey!

- Hey, Ross.

00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,628

Ross, Joey is not here.

00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,047

Okay, I'll just wait for him in here!

00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:16,800

Ross, it's okay. You can come out.

00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:19,427

Yeah, Ross. It's okay. It's me...

00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:21,429

...Mr. Stevens.

00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,726

Oh, I didn't... Oh, my gosh.

I didn't even see you.

00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:29,938

Sure you did. You came in,

got all awkward and ran to the bedroom.

00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:32,065

You were shouting, "Joey, Joey!"

00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,111

- Bye, Rachel.

- Bye.

00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:37,946

- I'll call you later.

- Okay. See you!

00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,740

- Bye, Ross.

- Ah, hoo. Ha, ha.

00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:45,787

[STAMMERS]

What? What the...? How did...? What?

00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:51,126

You know, he lost his keys.

So he was looking for them.

00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:52,711

In your mouth?

00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:56,506

No.

00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:58,758

Downstairs. And we got to talking...

00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:03,221

...for two hours. I really liked him.

I invited him for a cup of coffee.

00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,307

You were at the coffee house!

00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,395

Ross, what's the big deal?

So I kissed the guy.

00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:14,816

He's my girlfriend's father. Okay?

It's weird!

00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:18,111

- You dated my sister.

- That was different!

00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:22,407

- What? Why?

- This is weird for me!

00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:26,286

Ross, look. This is good for you, okay?

00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:29,539

Let's face it.

So far the guy's not loving you.

00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:32,959

But I can turn that around.

I've got the inside track.

00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:37,005

We could all go out to dinner.

And I could talk you up.

00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:41,509

Plus the guy is a very,

very successful lawyer.

00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:44,888

- How is that important?

- Oh, it's important.

00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:50,643

There's a million guys

out there who can play Mac...

00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:52,187

...and there's only one robot.

00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:55,857

And this one guy who controls it.

I didn't know he could get me fired.

00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:58,026

- What am I gonna do?

- Well, Joey.

00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,487

You're a pretty charming guy.

00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:02,864

Thanks. But I have a

problem to deal with.

00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:06,284

No, sweetie. You've got to win over

the guy who controls C.H.E.E.S.E.

00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:10,371

Go back there

and kiss some serious robot ass!

00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,374

That's not a bad idea!

00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:18,087

If I have to turn on the charm tomorrow,

I'm not wasting any of it on you guys.

00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:21,591

Oh, actually I got a little bit

saved for you, Pheebs.

00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,639

So do you think, uh,

Joey is more charming than me?

00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,391

Yeah. That's why I'm sleeping

with him on the side.

00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,685

Yeah, you wish.

00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:39,359

- "You wish."

- Phoebe, stop writing about us.

00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:42,987

I'm not writing about you.

I'm writing about other people.

00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:46,908

- Who?

- Marsha and Chester.

00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:52,121

Okay, fine. Fine. Then you know what?

I will just write about Phyllis.

00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:53,331

- Hmm.

CHANDLER: Huh.

00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:57,001

- "Phyllis is sitting in the chair."

- I see what you're doing.

00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,963

- "Phyllis sees what I'm doing."

- Oh, ho.

00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:05,426

Ooh, I have tasted my own medicine

and it is bitter.

00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:12,934

Morning! Hey!

00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:15,436

How's my favorite genius

and his robot buddy?

00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:19,315

- Don't touch him!

- Okay. All right. Um...

00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:24,279

Wayne, level with me. I keep hearing

all these rumors that I might get fired.

00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:27,657

They even have actors coming in

to read for my part.

00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,326

Come on, man.

You gotta give me a second chance.

00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:33,079

I love this little guy... Aah.

00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:37,792

Okay. That's why you didn't want me

to touch him, right? There you go.

00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:42,839

Stupid! I can't believe this! God.

00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:47,010

Hey, how are you doing?

00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:55,393

So it seemed that my prom date

had stood me up.

00:14:55,561 --> 00:15:00,148

So Ross selflessly offered to take me.

00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,525

- What a nice story.

- Heh.

00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,235

So Ross was in college...

00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:07,864

...and decided to jump at the chance

to take a young girl to her prom.

00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:14,787

Wow. I definitely did

not see that one backfiring.

00:15:14,955 --> 00:15:18,458

- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

- Yeah. Take your time.

00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:25,006

Just so you know, I was a freshman and

she was a senior. So it wasn't as bad as...

00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:29,260

Ross, look. I know I've been giving you

a lot of jabs.

00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:33,056

It's partly because

I'm very protective of Lizzie...

00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:36,976

...and partly because

they just keep coming to me.

00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:43,107

I have to admit that after all

the wonderful things Lizzie has told me...

00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:48,988

...and the many, many, many

stories that Rachel has told me...

00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:51,282

...that, well...

00:15:52,409 --> 00:15:54,118

...you're not...

00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:56,704

...all bad.

00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,458

"Not all bad."

00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:04,504

I'm sorry I was so harsh.

But you have to understand.

00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:08,216

I still look at Lizzie

like she's a 12-year-old girl.

00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:12,345

You know, I know what you mean.

I do that, too.

00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:18,893

- I beg your pardon?

- No! I don't see her as a 12-year-old girl.

00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:23,147

I mean, I have a son who's, um, 6,

and I still think of him as a baby.

00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,817

- You have a son?

- Yeah. My ex-wife and I...

00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,778

...uh, share custody of Ben. And, uh...

00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:31,614

Just so you know,

Carol and I are on excellent terms...

00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,574

...as I'm sure you are with your wife.

00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,702

Oh! I'm sorry.

00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:38,913

It's unbelievable!

00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:42,000

Don't worry.

I just didn't realize you were married.

00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:44,794

Oh, we were. But that was just a...

00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:51,759

I mean, that was just

a big drunken mistake.

00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:56,055

You're back.

00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:00,351

You two were married?

00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:03,479

Oh, whoops. I'm sorry.

You were talking about Emily.

00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:09,444

We said we would meet

at the coffee house at 6:00.

00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:12,530

- We said 7:00.

- We said 6:00!

00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,699

The only way that I said 6:00...

00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:19,954

...would be if I said the sentence,

"Let's meet at 7:00, not at 6:00."

00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:23,166

If I had said 7:00, I would have

said something like:

00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:27,420

"Wow, my boyfriend

is such a wiseass. 7:00!"

00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,715

- Hi!

- Oh, my good God!

00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,176

- I know what time you said.

- What?

00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:36,721

Well, actually I know what time

Chester and Marsha said.

00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,767

- What time?

- Quite an interesting turn of events.

00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:44,771

Suddenly it's my book

to the rescue, huh? Let's see.

00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:47,648

Ooh. Very interesting.

00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:50,443

Yeah, well this certainly clears things up.

00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:53,112

- What does it say?

- I will tell you...

00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,448

...as soon as you thank me

for writing my book.

00:17:57,284 --> 00:18:00,620

Thank you for writing your book.

It's a great book...

00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:04,749

...and you are the queen of everything.

00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,877

Thanks. So are you.

00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:16,135

I told you I should not wear this color.

00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:25,019

"Monica... Marsha and Chester are

planning on seeing a movie Sunday night.

00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,355

"Marsha thinks they're supposed to

meet at 6:00.

00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,440

Chester thinks it's at 7:00."

00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:33,611

- You knew we would miss the movie?

- That's right.

00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:37,448

Instead of telling us, you decided

to write it in your stupid book?

00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,868

"Marsha and Chester are mad at Phyllis."

00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:49,001

I can't believe I'm gonna lose this job.

00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:51,796

I'm so sorry, man.

Is there anything I can do?

00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:55,383

Yeah. Help me get this mini-fridge

past the security guard.

00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:57,969

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:03,724

Hey, Joey, I want to talk to you.

00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:08,312

Yeah? I don't want to talk to you, Wayne.

I hate you. You ruined my life.

00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,107

- Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler.

- Hi. How are you?

00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:15,403

Joey, I'll get you your job back

if you help me out.

00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:17,613

Why should I help you out?

00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:21,701

- The reason he just said.

- What do you need?

00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:26,330

I saw you on stage talking

to that beautiful woman.

00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:30,126

You know, Sarah.

I wish I could talk to her.

00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:32,670

- Are you in love with her?

- Yeah.

00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:35,590

Her. All of them. Anyone.

00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:38,050

Yeah. I've been there, my friend.

00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:41,262

Listen, I guarantee you keep your job...

00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:44,265

...if you can teach me how to talk

to women like you do.

00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:49,687

Oh, Wayne, it's not something you can

teach. It's something you're born with...

00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,607

You can teach it.

I can show you right now.

00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:55,735

I mean, if you think about it...

00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:59,113

...Ross did learn something

from each marriage.

00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:02,200

- How to make the next one even shorter?

- Oh.

00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:03,993

Wait a minute. That's not fair.

00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:07,330

He was married to me a hell of a lot

longer than he was to Emily.

00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:09,665

He just didn't tell me.

00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,254

Maybe I have to pee again.

00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:22,261

Well, this is fun.

00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:24,764

So Ross...

00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:26,807

...did you kill any of these wives?

00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,392

You know what? I...

00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:33,105

I have had enough of this.

I care a great deal about your daughter.

00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:35,733

And I have treated her

with nothing but respect.

00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:39,403

- So if you've got a problem with me...

- Are you yelling at me?

00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:41,530

God, no.

00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:46,494

You know what, Daddy?

If you don't like Ross, that's fine.

00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:49,956

It doesn't matter to me.

I'm gonna go out with him anyway.

00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:52,041

Really?

00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:54,418

Well, if it doesn't matter to her...

00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:57,630

...it doesn't matter to me.

Still not yelling.

00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:03,302

Well, what can I say?

00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:08,266

This doesn't make me like you better.

00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:11,769

That's okay. I'm not so crazy

about myself right now either.

00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,522

- Then we agree?

- Yeah, I guess so.

00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:16,482

- Neither of us like Ross.

- I like Ross.

00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:19,360

Oh, heh, kids!

00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:24,949

Wait. I just thought of another story

about how nice Ross is.

00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,743

That's okay, Rach.

We're not liking Ross right now.

00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:30,538

- Oh! Well, I got a lot of those, too.

- Uh...

00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:37,336

Well, it turns out you were right,

C.H.E.E.S.E.

00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:40,923

- That shipment never made it to Omaha?

- You got it.

00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:44,885

And the rabbi's beard?

100 percent horse hair.

00:21:45,053 --> 00:21:46,679

Nice catch, C.H.E.E.S.E.

00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,978

It's your line, C.H.E.E.S.E.

00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,733

Wayne! Wayne!

00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:08,200

[English - US - SDH]