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Фиби предлагает Монике в качестве подарка на помолвку секретный рецепт печенья своей бабушки, но рецепт сгорел во время пожара. Моника одержимо пытается его воссоздать, но позже узнает, что рецепт принадлежит компании Nestle Toll House. Рейчел предлагает научить Джои управлять парусной лодкой, но вскоре начинает словесно оскорблять его за его небрежное отношение. Ее грубый стиль преподавания заставляет ее понять, что она ведет себя точно так же, как ее противный отец, когда он учил ее парусному спорту. Новые очки Чендлера запотевают в парной спортзала, поэтому он снимает их, и это приводит к тому, что он случайно садится на голые колени своего будущего тестя.

Эпизод с печеньем Фиби

The One with Phoebe's Cookies
Сезон: 07Серия: 03

Описание

Фиби предлагает Монике в качестве подарка на помолвку секретный рецепт печенья своей бабушки, но рецепт сгорел во время пожара. Моника одержимо пытается его воссоздать, но позже узнает, что рецепт принадлежит компании Nestle Toll House. Рейчел предлагает научить Джои управлять парусной лодкой, но вскоре начинает словесно оскорблять его за его небрежное отношение. Ее грубый стиль преподавания заставляет ее понять, что она ведет себя точно так же, как ее противный отец, когда он учил ее парусному спорту. Новые очки Чендлера запотевают в парной спортзала, поэтому он снимает их, и это приводит к тому, что он случайно садится на голые колени своего будущего тестя.

Субтитры

eng__.srt

eng__.srt

00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:09,800

So, what do you think?

00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:12,261

- About what?

- What?

00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:16,890

Are you kidding? Okay,

I'll give you a hint. I'll give you a hint.

00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:22,771

Eyes. No, no. Your eyes! No.

00:00:22,939 --> 00:00:24,523

Chandler's eyes!

00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:27,443

I got glasses.

00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:30,070

You always had glasses.

00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:34,450

No, I didn't.

00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,244

Are you sure?

00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:40,330

Didn't you used to have a pair?

00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:44,668

They were really round and burgundy,

and they made you look kind of, um...

00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,879

- Feminine.

- Yes!

00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,297

No.

00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:51,341

I think the glasses look great.

They make you look sexy.

00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:53,010

- Really?

- Yeah.

00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,387

You didn't think

I used to wear glasses, right?

00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:56,597

- Of course.

- Pfft.

00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,265

[MOUTHS]

I had no idea.

00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:55,948

What do you want for

an engagement present?

00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,242

Oh, that's okay, we're not having a party...

00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:01,203

...so you don't have to get us...

- Ah, buh-buh-buh! Heh.

00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:05,457

If someone wants to give us a present,

we don't want to deprive them of that joy.

00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,961

Oh, you should get them

one of those little CD players.

00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,504

Oh, I already have one.

00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:13,882

Unless someone borrowed it

and left it at the gynecologist.

00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:20,556

Yeah, and by "someone"

she means Joey.

00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,350

Hey, I know what I want!

00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:26,311

- What we want, honey.

- No, you don't want this.

00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,982

I want to have your grandmother's

cookie recipe.

00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:32,609

You mean the chocolate chip

cookie recipe?

00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,611

- Uh-huh, yeah.

- The one my grandmother...

00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:36,446

...made me swear on her deathbed...

00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:39,074

...that I would never

let out of our family?

00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,870

Dying people say the craziest things.

00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:47,833

I've wanted it for years. I was gonna

make cookies for my children.

00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:51,503

Break my heart. Oh, all right.

00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:55,215

I'll be the mom who makes the

world's best chocolate chip cookies.

00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:58,719

Our kids are gonna be fat,

aren't they?

00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,264

- Ahoy!

CHANDLER: Hey.

00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:05,184

- How's the boat?

- I'm getting into this sailing stuff.

00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,186

You finally took it out of the marina?

00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:09,271

Why would I do that?

00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,858

It took three guys

to get the thing in there.

00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:15,777

If you don't sail it,

what do you do on it?

00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,863

It's a great place

to just kind of sit...

00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,491

...hang around, drink a few beers,

eat some chips.

00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,288

It's good that you finally

have a place to do that.

00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:29,374

Joey, I could teach you

to sail if you want.

00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:32,002

- You could?

- Yeah, I've been sailing my whole life.

00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:35,214

When I was 15,

my dad bought me my own boat.

00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:38,800

- Your own boat?

- He was trying to cheer me up.

00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,886

My pony was sick.

00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,399

- You know what I was thinking?

- What?

00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,944

Nothing, I just like to go like this.

00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:01,323

- Chandler, what are you doing tonight?

- Why, do you have a lecture?

00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,785

- No, why?

- Then, free as a bird. What's up?

00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,746

Uh, my dad wants to know if you want

to play racquetball.

00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,623

Wow, that's great! Dad must like you.

00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,876

- He doesn't ask just anyone to play.

- He didn't really ask for you.

00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:16,546

He asked for "Chauncey."

I assumed he meant you.

00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,632

Did you correct him?

00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,426

No, I thought it would be

more fun this way.

00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:25,347

Maybe this is something

you could do this every week.

00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,015

Or you could sit on the porch...

00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:29,643

...and make sure no one

steals the trashcans.

00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,937

He does that every week too.

00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,566

Just so you know, you have to let

him win. He hates to lose.

00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:39,736

Oh, no problem.

Maybe I'll play with my left hand.

00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:42,197

You're not a lefty?

00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,367

Does anybody know me?

00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,289

[PHOEBE GASPS]

00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,498

What's wrong, Phoebe?

00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:55,085

I just went to my old apartment

to get you the cookie recipe...

00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,796

...and that stupid fire burned it up!

00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:01,883

No! Why didn't you make a copy

and keep it in a fireproof box...

00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:05,012

...and keep it at least 100 yards

away from the original?

00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:13,312

Because I'm normal.

00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,691

That was the one legacy

my grandmother left me.

00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:20,777

And I know you wanted it

as an engagement present.

00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:23,113

We have to get you

an engagement present?

00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:25,324

Don't worry about it.

00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:28,076

No one got me an engagement present.

00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:32,247

Okay, here.

I don't have the recipe, but here.

00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,916

I wish you health

and happiness.

00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:37,961

An old cookie?

00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:41,590

See, this is what happens

when you don't register for gifts.

00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:47,429

I made a batch and I froze it.

And this is the only one left.

00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,098

- We can't accept this.

- Why not?

00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:53,101

Because it's gross.

00:05:53,811 --> 00:05:57,064

No, wait. I think I can figure out

the recipe from this cookie.

00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:58,732

I do this at work all the time.

00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,442

- Really?

- Yeah, I think I can.

00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,985

Oh, yay!

00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:07,282

Okay, Ross, we owe you a present.

00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,785

Two! I've been engaged twice.

00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,295

Look at this clown.

00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:23,799

Because he's got a bigger boat

he thinks he can take up the whole river.

00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:26,676

Get out of the way, jackass!

00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:31,056

Who names their boat

Coast Guard, anyway?

00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,812

- That is the Coast Guard.

- What are they doing out here?

00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:39,231

The coast is all the way over there.

00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,608

Joey, just ignore the boats.

00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:44,069

- We're not finished with our lesson.

- All right.

00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,488

I'm gonna go over the basic

points one more time.

00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,825

Come on, Rach. Not again. I got it, okay?

Let's start sailing!

00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:53,620

I want to go over there

where that boatload of girls is. Yeah, oh!

00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,248

Oh, is that what you wanna do?

00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,167

You want to give a shout out

to the old hot chicas?

00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:01,670

Okay, let's do that, Sailor Joe.

00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:05,006

Quick question, though:

What's this called?

00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:09,469

- Uh, boat rope?

- Wrong.

00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:12,347

- How do you get the mainsail up?

- Uh...

00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,599

Rub it?

00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:21,148

No. What do you do if I say

we're coming about?

00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:23,733

I'd say, "Come again?" Ha, ha.

00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:26,445

No, no, I know this one.

I know this one. Uh, um...

00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:28,572

[BLARING]

00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:30,532

Time's up. Now you're dead.

00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,825

And deaf!

00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,161

Okay, you go on

and make your little jokes.

00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:36,371

If you don't know

what you're doing at sea...

00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:39,958

...you will die at sea.

Am I getting through to you, sailor?

00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,461

- Yes.

- Don't just say yes.

00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:45,172

This isn't a game.

You could get hurt out here!

00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:48,133

So do you want to pay attention,

or do you want to die?

00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:54,264

I want to make a

ship-to-shore call to Chandler.

00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:06,526

- All right, I definitely taste nutmeg.

- You do?

00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:09,529

You don't? Heh.

Well, that's the difference...

00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,531

...between a professional and a layman.

00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,951

That and arrogance.

00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:18,163

Hey.

00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:19,915

Hey. How was sailing?

00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,626

I don't want to talk about it.

00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,253

- You could've saved me a whole cookie.

- No!

00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:26,838

[PHOEBE & MONICA YELLING]

00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,593

Women are mean!

00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,557

I can't believe that.

00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:41,061

Now the only thing left

of my grandmother's legacy is...

00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:42,896

...this crumb.

00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:47,692

I wish you a long and happy marriage.

00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,572

- Hey.

- How was it?

00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:54,449

Well, I had a great time.

00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,953

Um, Chauncey on the other hand...

00:08:58,162 --> 00:09:00,163

I will tell the story.

00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:03,500

It was going great.

I let him win, we were bonding...

00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:05,585

...he even said I could call him Dad.

00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:07,587

And what did he ask you

not to call him?

00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,006

"Daddy."

00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:13,134

Look, here's the story.

00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:16,429

CHANDLER:

We had just finished playing racquetball...

00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,223

...and we were gonna take a steam.

00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,975

I walk into the steam room...

00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:22,060

...and it's really steamy.

00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:27,816

So I take off my glasses,

and that's when it happened.

00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,025

Guys?

00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:32,195

ROSS: Over here.

JACK: Have a seat, son.

00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,369

Hey!

00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:52,382

- Oh, my God, Chandler! I can't believe it.

- I know.

00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,968

You gave my father a lap dance.

00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,974

Why do they put

so much steam in there?

00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:07,272

Because otherwise they'd

have to call it the "room" room.

00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:12,861

Why, okay? Why?

Why did that have to happen?

00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:15,280

Come on, it's not that big a deal.

00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:17,866

Not that big a deal? There...

00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,493

There was touching of things.

00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,871

I know you wanted

to bond with my dad...

00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:26,249

...but did you have to bond

to that part?

00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:33,089

Listen, I'm sure Dad doesn't care.

He probably thought this was funny.

00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:35,050

He'll be telling this story for years.

00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:38,011

I don't want him to tell

this story for years.

00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,597

Oh, but he will.

00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:45,518

He still tells the story about how

Monica tried to escape from fat camp.

00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,480

I wasn't escaping.

00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,940

Then how'd you get caught

in the barbed wire?

00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:53,818

I was trying to help out a squirrel.

00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:55,820

You were trying to eat it.

00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,282

[PHONE RINGS]

00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,993

If that is your father calling

to tell this story...

00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,953

...then the marriage is off!

00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,539

Come on. Hello.

00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:09,584

I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.

00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,753

Okay, I'll call you later, Dad. I love you.

00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,637

- All right, I'm off to see your dad.

- Oh, whoa.

00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,014

Aren't you a little overdressed?

00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:27,727

Yeah, and you better make sure

he tips you this time.

00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:32,107

I figured I would try to convince

him not to tell the story anymore...

00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,235

...and I figured the best way

to do that was face to face.

00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,987

And by "face," I don't mean his lap.

00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:41,074

And by "face," I don't mean my ass.

00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:46,663

Are you getting Monica

and Chandler an engagement present?

00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:49,249

I don't know. You know,

they didn't get us anything.

00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,084

Thank you!

00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,212

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,964

Well, hello.

00:11:56,173 --> 00:11:59,050

So when are we getting

back out on the water, matey?

00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:03,471

Oh, uh, I don't know the boat way

to say this, but, never.

00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:09,060

- Why not?

- Because you're mean on the boat.

00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,521

Wha...? I was just trying to teach you.

00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:14,107

Well, lesson learned.

Rachel is mean.

00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:18,194

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,573

I remember when she took me out

on her dad's boat.

00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,575

She wouldn't let me help out at all.

00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:27,162

Excuse me, I wanted you to help.

But you couldn't move your arms...

00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:30,373

...because you were wearing

three life jackets.

00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:34,461

You have to respect the sea.

00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,798

Look, Joey, I'm sorry if you thought

that was mean.

00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:41,134

But I tell you something,

that was not mean.

00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:45,096

My father is mean. He used to yell at me

all the time on the boat.

00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:48,433

It was horrible.

I was being a really good teacher.

00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:51,519

Does a good teacher say,

"Put down the beer, pinhead!"

00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:55,774

Does a good student drink 7 beers

during his first lesson?

00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:57,525

Six and a half.

00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:00,028

You knocked that last one

out of my hand.

00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:02,155

I didn't want you to get hit

by the boom.

00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:03,698

Well, it hit me anyway.

00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:07,118

It would have hurt a lot less

if I had finished that last beer.

00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:13,249

I'm sorry. I will try to tone it down

and, uh, stop yelling.

00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,544

- You won't boss me around?

- I won't boss you around.

00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:18,338

- And you'll be nice?

- I'll be nice.

00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,216

- And you'll be topless?

- And I... Joey!

00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:22,801

You want me to learn?

00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:30,266

Okay, here's batch 22.

00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:32,477

Maybe these'll taste

like your grandmother's.

00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,396

This has a bit of orange peel,

but no nutmeg.

00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,482

- Mm. Let's give it a shot.

MONICA: Ugh.

00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:40,193

I have not made so many cookies

since 9th grade.

00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:44,113

- What was that for, a bake sale?

- No, just a Friday night.

00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,578

Mm. These are pretty good.

00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:53,206

- Yeah, but not as good as batch 17.

- Mm-mm.

00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:54,457

Which one was that?

00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,793

The ones we had

after you almost threw up.

00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,421

Oh, yeah, batch 17 was good.

00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:03,299

I did not like batch 16.

00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,427

I'm okay.

00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:10,682

Are there any more from the good batch?

We could work off those.

00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:14,561

Well, yeah, I think there's one

from batch 17 left. Uh...

00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:22,485

Batch 16.

Sixteen, people, get out of the way!

00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:33,746

Okay, Joey.

Honey, you're doing really good.

00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:37,083

I just need you

to step to the portside.

00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:43,965

Remember how we

talked about the portside?

00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:45,717

- Oh, yeah.

- Right?

00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,093

No.

00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:52,473

It's left, sweetie, but that's okay.

That's a tough one.

00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:54,100

Why not just say left?

00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,060

Okay, go to the left.

00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,233

Ahem, the left.

00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:03,651

- Huh?

- Just sit over there!

00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:06,070

Okay! Okay!

You're yelling again. See that?

00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:10,199

Oh, no, no. Very quiet.

Said with love, no yelling.

00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:13,745

You know what?

00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:17,332

Since I'm here, I'm gonna have

a beer on the portside.

00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,335

See what I did there? Ha, ha.

00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:27,133

We're luffing a little.

Will you tighten up the Cunningham?

00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:31,471

Whoa, you just said a bunch

of stuff I don't know.

00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:34,390

Joey, come on!

We just went over this.

00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:38,770

Oh, when we did that was when that bird

was overhead with the fish in his mouth.

00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:42,023

- Did you see it? It was gross.

- No! I did not see the bird.

00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:46,319

I did not see the fish! I did not see the

piece of Styrofoam shaped like Mike Tyson!

00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:51,908

I did not, because I was trying

to teach you how to sail a boat.

00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,869

Which obviously is

an impossible thing to do.

00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:58,164

That's it! You're yelling,

and I don't see you taking your top off.

00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,166

I quit!

00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:03,336

- What do you mean? You can't quit.

- Why not?

00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:07,048

Because you're not finished!

I won't have it. Greens do not quit.

00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,634

Greens?

00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:12,971

I'm a Tribbiani. Tribbianis quit.

00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:17,392

Oh, my God. Wait.

00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:20,687

Did I...? I just said,

"Greens don't quit," didn't I?

00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:25,525

- Did I say, "Greens don't quit"?

- Yes! And you're still yelling at me.

00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:28,611

No, I'm not yelling at you.

I'm just yelling near you.

00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,697

Oh, God, Joey. Oh, I'm my father.

00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,616

Oh, my God. This is horrible.

00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:38,621

I've been trying so hard not to be

my mother, I did not see this coming.

00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,833

Ugh, Joey.

00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:46,879

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

I just wanted you to learn.

00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,925

- Ugh.

- Hey, I...

00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,677

I did learn.

00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,971

- Really?

- Yeah, come on.

00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:58,016

- No.

- Yeah. It's okay.

00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:00,643

I know what a mainsail is. Huh?

00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:04,731

I know to duck when

the boom comes across.

00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,026

- I know port is right.

- Left.

00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:09,736

Damn it!

00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:15,241

You know, I bet it would

make my grandma happy...

00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:18,369

...to know that we're trying

to figure out her recipe.

00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:23,082

I bet she's looking up at us

and smiling right now.

00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,502

Looking up?

00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:31,299

Oh, yeah, no, she was really nice to me

but she's in hell for sure.

00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,136

Well, I've tried everything. I give up.

00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:38,181

I'm not gonna be the mom

who makes the world's best cookies.

00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:43,603

I do make the best

duck confit with broccoli raab.

00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:45,021

Kids love that, right?

00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:50,568

Aw, Pheeb, isn't there any relative

that would have the recipe?

00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,403

What about your sister?

00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:55,448

Oh, no. I made a promise

to myself that the next time...

00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,785

...I would talk to Ursula

is over my dead body.

00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:04,791

And that's not happening

until October 15, 2032.

00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,168

That's the day you're gonna die? See.

00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:10,338

Darn it, I've got shuffleboard that day.

Heh.

00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:13,216

That's what you think.

00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:19,847

What about friends of your grandmother?

Would they have the recipe?

00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:23,601

You know, I may have relatives in France

who would know.

00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,603

My grandmother said

she got the recipe...

00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:29,357

...from her grandmother,

"Nestley Toulouse."

00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:32,276

What was her name?

00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:36,280

Nestley Toulouse.

00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:39,867

Nestlé Toll House?

00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:44,914

Ugh.

00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,792

You Americans always butcher

the French language.

00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:52,255

Phoebe, is this the recipe?

00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:56,134

Yes!

00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:00,429

Oh.

00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:04,934

I cannot believe that I spent the last two

days trying to figure out that recipe.

00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:06,811

It was in my cupboard the whole time!

00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:10,940

I know! You see, it is stuff like this...

00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:13,651

...which is why you're burning in hell!

00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:19,031

CHANDLER:

So you understand.

00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,909

I'd feel more comfortable

if you didn't tell people.

00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:24,745

You know,

I'm a little embarrassed about it.

00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:28,291

I understand completely.

There's nothing more horrifying...

00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:30,960

...than embarrassing yourself

in front of your in-laws.

00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:35,506

As a matter of fact, when I started

dating Judy, I was unemployed.

00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,717

Her father asked me

what I did for a living.

00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:40,094

- I told him I was a lawyer.

- Heh.

00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,680

- What'd you do when they found out?

- They never did.

00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:46,559

So if you ever see me giving them

legal advice, just nod along.

00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,312

Shall we?

00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:07,371

So, I guess we wear swimsuits in here.

00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:22,845

Well, Joey, I hate to admit it...

00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,681

...your way of sailing

is a lot more fun.

00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,142

Yep, yep.

00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:31,479

Hey, why don't you give a pull

on that rope?

00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:32,855

We're not sailing.

00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:36,275

- Just pull on it.

- All right.

00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,905

- Hey!

- Eh?

00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,865

Sandwiches!

00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,284

- What else?

- Ha, ha.

00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,203

Here you go.

00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:50,623

- Thank you.

- Oh, wow.

00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,669

- What are you doing?

- Oops. Sorry.

00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:58,005

Don't hold it like that.

You're letting all the good stuff fall out.

00:20:58,173 --> 00:20:59,924

- Oh. Oops.

- Careful!

00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,593

You're wasting good pastrami!

00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:08,349

Oh, my God. I'm my dad!

00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:15,564

[English - US - SDH]

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