Эпизод c новым мозгом Джоуи

00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:07,172

We wanted to bounce some ideas off

of you about the wedding ceremony.

00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:08,799

Oh.

00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,011

- What's the matter? Are you okay?

- Yeah, it's just...

00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:14,722

Monica said "wedding."

00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:18,642

Uh, so we wanted to know if one of you

would like to read something.

00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:22,438

Okay, yeah, I guess I can do that too.

00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,357

Too?

00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:29,486

Yeah, I kind of, ahem, have something else

planned for you guys.

00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:32,573

- Do you mind telling us what it is?

- Sorry.

00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:35,993

I'm kind of keeping this one

on the QT.

00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:38,829

Well, whatever it is,

I hope it involves winking.

00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,750

- Hey.

ALL: Hey.

00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:45,044

So I talked to one of the DOOL writers...

00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:47,296

- What is DOOL?

- Days Of Our Lives.

00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:53,177

You're not gonna believe it.

My character is coming out of his coma!

00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,012

- That's wonderful.

- Wow, Joey.

00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:59,266

And not only that.

I'm getting a new brain!

00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:04,480

So great things are happening at work

and in your personal life.

00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:07,274

What do you mean

you're getting a new brain?

00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:10,360

They're killing off one of the characters,

and when she dies...

00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:13,322

...and her brain is being transplanted

into my body.

00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:18,702

Heh, what? A brain transplant?

00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,496

It's ridiculous.

00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:24,208

I think it's ridiculous that you haven't

had sex in three and a half months.

00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:32,382

It's winter.

There are fewer people on the street.

00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:35,135

Who are they killing off?

00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:37,805

Uh, Cecilia Monroe.

She plays Jessica Lockhart.

00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,765

- No!

- No!

00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:43,811

She is so good at throwing drinks

in people's faces.

00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,730

I don't think I've ever seen

her finish a beverage.

00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:49,650

The way she slaps people.

Wouldn't you love to do that?

00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:51,276

Don't do it.

00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,987

And she's been on the show forever.

00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:56,949

- It's gonna be really hard to fill her shoes.

- Yeah.

00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,575

Help me out here. When you...

00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:03,247

When you come out

of the "brain transplant"...

00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:06,166

...you are going to be her?

00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:09,253

Yes, but in Drake Ramoray's body.

00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,005

[STAMMERS]

00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:15,759

Why is this so hard for you to get?

I thought you were a scientist.

00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:56,508

Rach, so that guy there:

00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:57,843

Straight or gay?

00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,554

RACHEL:

Oh.

00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:03,682

Oh, yeah, he's too cute

to be straight. Ha, ha.

00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:07,227

Ooh, Knockers will help us

figure it out.

00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:14,651

All right, straight.

00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,654

And not subtle.

00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:21,450

- He left his cell phone.

- Oh?

00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:24,369

We could hand it to Gunther,

he'll put it in lost and found.

00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:28,081

Or we could use it to call China,

see how those guys are doing.

00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:32,794

What if, uh, he calls his own cell phone

to find out who found it, and I answer...

00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:35,589

...and we start talking

and we fell in love?

00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:37,966

Wouldn't that be a great story?

00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:41,720

- Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.

- Yeah.

00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,056

That does sound great.

I'm gonna get the phone.

00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:47,559

What? Wait.

Why do you get the story?

00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,479

I don't know. I haven't been

out on a date in so long.

00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,190

Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.

00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:58,028

That wasn't a date. That was friends

getting together and having sex.

00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:00,405

Okay. Great. See, I get the phone.

00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:03,825

No way. You just broke up with Tag

a week ago.

00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:09,289

Yeah, and until now,

I didn't think I would love again.

00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:11,583

- Nice try.

- Hey, wait.

00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:14,962

How do we fairly decide

who gets the phone?

00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:16,964

I don't know.

00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,220

Well, um...

00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,348

Maybe we could, uh...

00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:30,102

Ah-ha! Too slow! Ha-ha-ha.

00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,647

Ah-ha! Too cocky.

00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,487

I'm going to date him.

There's nothing you can do.

00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:41,780

Yes, there is.

00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:45,158

What, are you going to kill him

like you did Charles?

00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:49,997

Oh, my baby.

00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:55,836

DIRECTOR:

Cut!

00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:57,754

[APPLAUSE]

00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:04,594

That was a great scene. And that slap

looked so real. How do you do that?

00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:08,432

- Oh, just years of experience.

- Can I get some ice here?

00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:12,936

Anyway, I just wanted to say

how wonderful I think you are.

00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:15,856

You're not the fan who's dying,

are you?

00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:20,068

No, uh, I'm Joey Tribbiani.

We did a scene together yesterday.

00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:23,655

- I'm the guy in the coma.

- Oh, that was a real person?

00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:30,037

I wanted to say, since I'm getting your brain

when you leave the show...

00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:33,415

...I was wondering if there was any tips...

- I'm leaving the show?

00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,876

I don't know, why?

Did you hear something?

00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:40,088

- Who told you that?

- Oh, uh...

00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:43,508

- One of the writers.

- Which? Was it bald or was it tall?

00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:47,679

You know, it doesn't matter,

because it is not true.

00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:48,972

Okay. Whoo, eh.

00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:52,893

And if it were true, how dare you come

to me and ask me for tips...

00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,854

...about a character I've been playing

for 20 years!

00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:04,446

Miss Monroe... Oh, there you go.

00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:09,576

Okay, look, I have an idea.

00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:13,580

Why don't we see what kind of numbers

he has on his speed dial?

00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,792

And then from that, we can tell

who has more in common with him...

00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,877

...and whoever does gets the phone.

00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,339

- Fine. All right.

- All right.

00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:25,884

- First name on the speed dial is "Mom."

- Oh.

00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,929

I lost my mom to suicide.

00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,180

Okay, no way.

00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:33,058

You can't use that to get the cute guy

and the last muffin.

00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:36,144

Did I use that already today? I'm sorry.

00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,690

"Ben, Carlos, David..."

00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:43,860

Oh, I win. He's got Barney's

on his speed dial.

00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:46,363

So? You don't know

that it's Barney's the store.

00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:49,491

That could be his friend's house,

or a bar, or...

00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:52,244

Who has Barney's the store

on their speed dial?

00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,579

His new girlfriend.

00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:01,253

[BAGPIPES DRONING IN DISTANCE]

00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,547

[BAGPIPES SCREECHING]

00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:09,928

What is that?

00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,848

I think it's the Dying Cat Parade.

00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:17,853

Sounds like it's coming

from across the street.

00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:21,440

- Oh, my God.

- What?

00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,900

The thing that Ross was gonna

do at our wedding?

00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:28,363

He was hanging out with me yesterday

and he said, "You're half Scottish, right?"

00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:31,825

No. There is no way.

It cannot be Ross.

00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:43,420

Unbelievable.

Why is your family Scottish?

00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:47,591

Why is your family Ross?

00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:52,262

He cannot play at our wedding.

Everyone will leave.

00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,307

I mean, come on. That is just noise!

00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,392

It's not even a song.

00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:01,188

Wait. If you listen very carefully, I think...

00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:04,149

...it's "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang.

00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:13,366

You're absolutely right.

They are writing me out of the show.

00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:17,162

They don't know exactly when it's going

to happen, but apparently it's soon...

00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,830

...and then that's it.

00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:22,125

I'm sorry. If it was up to me,

you would never leave the show.

00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,294

- Yeah, thanks.

- No, I mean it.

00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:27,797

I can't believe they'd do this to you.

And to your fans.

00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:32,385

They're gonna be devastated.

Heartbroken. They love you so much.

00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,888

Oh, you're right.

00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:36,806

Thank you.

00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,850

- What's your name again?

- Uh...

00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,811

- Joey.

- Joey. Well, thank you.

00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:44,606

That is so sweet. Oh.

00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,192

The... The only reason

I came up to you before...

00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,236

...was because, well...

00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:52,614

...because I'm really nervous

about being you.

00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:56,576

You know, if you could help me capture

the essence of the character.

00:08:56,744 --> 00:08:59,704

Help me keep Jessica alive. Please?

00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:03,708

All right, Joey, I will help you.

00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:07,420

Not because I owe it

to this stupid show...

00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:10,840

...but because I owe it to Jessica.

00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:13,885

- Oh, that's great. Thank you so much.

- You're so welcome.

00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,763

I've been watching some tapes.

How's this?

00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:21,101

[IN BRITISH ACCENT] Jessica Lockhart

will never step foot in this place again!

00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,602

Ever!

00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:28,692

Oh, but, Jessica doesn't have

an English accent.

00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:31,027

I can do an English accent?

00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:35,156

That baby's going on my resume.

00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,411

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,663

- Hi, Pheebs. How are you?

- Good.

00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:44,583

Um, Phoebe, remember when we were

in the coffeehouse...

00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,877

...we decided I was gonna keep

the cute guy's phone?

00:09:48,045 --> 00:09:50,589

- Yeah.

- And I was gonna keep it in my purse...

00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,550

...so if it rang, I could just pick it up?

- Yeah.

00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:58,138

And then do you remember going

into my purse and stealing the phone?

00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,974

Ooh, now you lost me.

00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:03,602

- You stole the phone.

- No, I didn't.

00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:06,813

No? So you're saying that if I called it,

it wouldn't ring?

00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,148

- No.

- Hmm. Okay.

00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:11,985

But while you dial, let me show you

the features of my new ringing handbag.

00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,194

Mm.

00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:14,529

[PHONE RINGING]

00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,656

Oh, it does work.

00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:20,076

- Phoebe.

- That is a different phone.

00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:24,914

Oh, is it? Hello. Yes, hi.

Is Rachel there?

00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:28,627

Yes, she is. Just one moment, please.

It's for me!

00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,422

- That is damning evidence.

- Ugh.

00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,257

[PHONE RINGING]

00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,677

Oh, my God. I bet that's him.

00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:40,180

My digital fairy tale's about to begin.

00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,766

It's ri...

00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:45,143

Would you stop doing that?

00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:48,313

Hello? Yes, I'm the one

who found your phone.

00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,107

- Phoebe, you can't do th...

- Shh, I'm on a call.

00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:57,280

Well, yeah, I mean, you could

pick it up tonight. Say, 8:30?

00:10:57,448 --> 00:11:00,241

At my apartment. It's, um...

00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:03,953

It's, um, 5 Morton Street, apartment 14.

00:11:04,121 --> 00:11:08,375

And then maybe, you know, after,

we could grab a bite to eat or whatever.

00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:11,044

Okay. Okay, I'll see you then. Bye.

00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:16,049

You do know that I will be here

when he comes over.

00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,468

Oh, and how will you know what time

to come over?

00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:20,970

You just said it.

00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:25,183

Oh.

00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:33,525

Joey, the essence of the character

is rooted in her confidence.

00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:37,320

So when Jessica enters a room,

for instance...

00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:39,531

...she owns everything...

00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:43,576

...and every person in that room.

00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,663

- You try it.

- Okay.

00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:57,006

Right. Well, he's not mad at the room.

00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:01,428

Try it again. He owns it.

He owns the room.

00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:06,266

It is his. He owns, owns,

owns the room! He owns it!

00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:09,185

It's a little weird,

but it's getting better.

00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:15,275

Oh, I'm gonna miss this woman so much.

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,944

It's been 20 years of my life.

00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:22,115

Hey, hey. Maybe... Maybe, uh...

Maybe this is a good thing.

00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:26,161

You know? Lt'll give you a chance to shake

things up. Play different characters.

00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:27,829

You're so talented.

00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:32,584

Probably should've just left years ago

when the offers were pouring in...

00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,628

...but, you know,

I just got so comfy here and...

00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:38,673

Ugh, I turned down some amazing work.

00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,134

- Like what?

- Well...

00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:43,887

...let's just say if I'd left 15 years ago...

00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:48,808

...the landscape of Mexican

cinema would be very different today.

00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,479

Wow.

00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:58,943

But, well, now...

Now's a different time for me.

00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:04,783

Oh, hey, come on. Don't, uh...

Don't do this.

00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,285

Let me tell you something, okay?

00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:12,081

When I watch you do a scene,

I'm thinking, "Boy, she is a great actress."

00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:16,711

But... But I'm also thinking, "She is hot."

00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,382

You think I'm hot?

00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:24,636

You own the room.

00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,263

[CHUCKLES]

00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:31,059

We... We should probably get the...

00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:33,478

Oh, yeah. Yeah, we should get...

00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:41,820

So when Jessica kisses a man...

00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,281

...she usually puts, um...

00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:48,660

...both her hands on the man's face.

00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,412

Yeah, I notice that.

Is that because she's so passionate?

00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:54,958

No, it's because that way

the camera only sees her.

00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,755

You want to try it?

00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,091

Yeah, okay.

00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,897

That was good. That was really good.

00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:22,986

But I think that maybe

your hands are just a little off.

00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:25,363

- They should be, maybe... Like, right...

- Mm.

00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:35,790

Well, I feel like a snack.

00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:39,669

Do you want some shortbread?

It's Scottish, like you are.

00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:44,299

Oh, no, thanks. I don't like anything

from my Scottish heritage.

00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,050

What?

00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:50,722

Well, it's just that my entire family

was run out of Scotland by...

00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:53,516

...Vikings.

00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:59,147

It sounds to me like your family's ready

to, uh, rediscover its Scottish roots.

00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,691

You can't play bagpipes

at the wedding!

00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:04,777

How did you know about that?

00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:07,280

We heard you play

all the way from your apartment.

00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,782

Were you the ones who called the cops?

00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:13,328

That's not really important right now.

Ahem.

00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:17,081

What is important is,

while we appreciate the gesture...

00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:21,461

...we just don't feel that bagpipes

are appropriate for our wedding.

00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:25,298

- Why not?

- Because we hate them.

00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:29,302

Just give me a chance to perform for you,

and then decide whatever you want.

00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:33,056

I'm not gonna tell you what song

I'm gonna play, either. But, uh...

00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:35,099

...let's just say when it's over...

00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:39,103

...I'll bet there'll be

a wee bit o' celebration.

00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:48,029

Hey, hey!

00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:49,489

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,824

[IN UNISON]

Who is it?

00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,034

TOM:

Hi, It's Tom.

00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,078

- I'm here to pick up the phone.

- Ah!

00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,498

Whoa, why do you

get to answer the door?

00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:01,501

- Why shouldn't I?

- Because it's my apartment.

00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:03,878

Well, then I get to give him the phone.

00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:07,423

Okay. Good luck explaining

all the calls to China.

00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:11,719

Hi.

00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,101

Wow, how long were we arguing for?

00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,522

Um, ha, ha.

00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,941

You're not the man

who left the cell phone.

00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:28,236

- No, that's my assistant.

- Is he coming?

00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,697

Um, no.

00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:33,324

Could you, uh, give us one second?

00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:36,035

- Sure.

- We'll be right back, sir.

00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:41,124

- Well, what do we do?

- I don't know.

00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:42,625

Can you believe this?

00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:46,045

We were waiting for a hot guy

and an even hotter one shows up.

00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:47,922

I know...

00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,011

What?

00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:54,345

Rachel, listen...

00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:58,725

...if you let me have him,

then I will really owe you one.

00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,228

All right.

00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,399

All right, Phoebe, I will let you have him.

00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:08,776

But you owe me. You owe me big.

00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:12,488

So which one of you lovely ladies

am I gonna take to dinner, huh?

00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:14,824

Oh, that'd be me, sir.

00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,202

- After you.

- Okay, thank you.

00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:20,997

[MOUTHS]

Nice.

00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:29,881

Well, you certainly own that room.

00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,551

Actually, I rent the whole place.

00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,054

And I just got what you meant.

Thank you.

00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,139

[LAUGHING]

00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:40,808

- Hi.

JOEY: Hey.

00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:45,897

Oh, my God.

00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:50,401

Aah! Jessica Lockhart!

In my apartment!

00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:53,905

I am such a huge fan.

I am such a huge fan.

00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,490

Well, it's nice to know that...

00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,201

[YELLS]

Monica! Monica!

00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:01,204

That, uh... That's my roommate, Rachel.

00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,498

Oh, that explains

all the women's underwear.

00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:05,333

Sure. Yeah.

00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:09,128

Oh, my God, it's true!

00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,464

Oh, my God.

00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,801

Can I just ask you to do me...

Aw... . Just one favor?

00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,469

Certainly.

00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:19,514

Would you slap me?

Would you slap me right here in the face?

00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:24,268

I'd love to, but my lawyer said

I can't do that anymore.

00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:28,356

- All right, here we go.

- Okay.

00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:31,567

No, wait. Just one moment. Um...

00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:34,987

- You're a stupid bitch.

- I really can't slap you.

00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:36,823

[GROWLS]

00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:40,535

- My God, you're great.

- Thanks for stopping by. See you.

00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:44,539

- I am so sorry about that.

- Oh, no, no, no.

00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:47,667

Being adored, I'm used to it.

Don't worry about it.

00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:50,545

- Oh, my God.

- What?

00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:53,714

They sent me today's script.

They never send me the script.

00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:56,092

- They don't?

- Well, no, I'm in a coma.

00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,678

This must mean I have lines.

00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:01,973

Oh.

00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,725

How does it happen?

00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:08,646

Ooh.

00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:12,441

You get thrown from a horse

into an electric fence.

00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,696

A what? Jessica hates horses.

00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:20,783

I'm guessing after this she's not

gonna be crazy about electricity, either.

00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:29,500

Loosening the saddle on Mother's horse

was brilliant, Fredrick.

00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:32,211

And the electric fence, inspired.

00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:33,796

Thank you, sweetheart.

00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:37,175

I can't believe she's really gone.

00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:40,469

Look around you. All of this is ours.

00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:42,555

I don't think so.

00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:48,811

Who are you?

00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,813

What's the matter, Dina?

00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:53,774

Don't you recognize your own...

00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:55,401

...mother?

00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:01,073

DIRECTOR: Cut! That was great,

everybody. Thank you.

00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:03,618

That was so wonderful!

00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:07,205

Oh, I think that you're a better

Jessica than I ever was.

00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:10,249

- Oh, no.

- Of course not, but you were very good.

00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:11,667

Heh, thanks.

00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:14,212

Guess what? Good news.

I got another job.

00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,797

Great. Hey, all right! What is it?

00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:19,300

A film in Guadalajara.

00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,053

The airport?

00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,514

No, that's LaGuardia.

00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:32,563

- This is Mexico.

- Oh, wow.

00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:35,107

Well, how long will you be gone?

00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:37,193

Eight months.

00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:41,697

- That's a really long time.

- Yeah, but you could come and visit me.

00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:46,202

I bet that you could, uh,

own a few places down there.

00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:51,082

Oh, you know, I should probably

buy a place in the city first.

00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:55,419

And I just got what you meant.

That is a...

00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:58,339

- I'll tell you, that's a tricky one.

- It's a tricky one.

00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,049

Well...

00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,469

Good luck.

00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:05,805

You too.

00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:24,865

Ahem. Okay, now, uh,

remember, I'm still learning.

00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:27,827

[BAGPIPES DRONING

THEN SQUEAKING]

00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:36,794

One, two, three, four!

00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,964

[PLAYING KOOL AND THE GANG'S

"CELEBRATION"]

00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,481

You know the song. Sing along.

00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:03,279

[MIMICKING BAGPIPES]

00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:15,916

So?

00:22:16,626 --> 00:22:17,793

- No!

- No!

00:22:22,799 --> 00:22:24,800

[English - US - SDH]