Эпизод со всей правдой о Лондоне

00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,506

- Hi.

- We have a bathroom emergency.

00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,217

- Oh, yeah. Go ahead.

- Okay, uh, before we do...

00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:14,596

...uh, are any of Joey's special

romance magazines in there?

00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,643

- No.

- Okay, all clear.

00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,645

BEN:

Thanks, Phoebe.

00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:25,399

That's Rachel.

00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,443

- But whatever.

- Mm-hm.

00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:28,861

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:31,155

Could you do me a big favor?

00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:34,158

The, uh, dean's office called

and said there was an urgent meeting.

00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:36,535

Can you watch Ben for an hour?

00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:40,414

- Well, what about Monica?

- Uh, she isn't home.

00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:44,585

So it would just be me alone?

00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,672

- Well, Ben would be there.

- No...

00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:50,758

Huh. Um...

00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:53,469

- What's the matter?

- Well, uh, you know, it's just, uh...

00:00:53,636 --> 00:00:56,764

I've never done that before.

Me and him, alone.

00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,474

He's not an ex-con.

00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:00,851

Okay, okay, okay. Um...

00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:03,979

- What do I do with him?

- I don't know, talk to him.

00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,148

Entertain him. Keep him alive.

00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,566

[SCOFFS]

00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:10,444

- Okay.

ROSS: Okay, Ben, come here.

00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:14,865

I'm gonna leave you here with

Aunt Rachel for about an hour, okay?

00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,075

Gonna be okay?

00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,285

- I think so.

- I wasn't talking to you.

00:01:57,158 --> 00:02:00,119

What about the second minister?

I kind of liked him.

00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:04,414

- You mean the spitter?

- Come on. He wasn't that bad.

00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:07,251

Easy for you to say,

you'd be wearing a veil.

00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:11,922

- And the third guy?

- He kept staring at your chest.

00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,882

Can you blame him?

00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:17,845

I don't like the idea of me saying, "I do"...

00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:20,180

...while he's thinking, "I'd do it too."

00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:25,352

- Well, then we still have a problem.

- With what?

00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,521

We need someone

to perform our wedding...

00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:29,857

...and they're all either

boring or annoying...

00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:32,359

...or keep staring at the ladies.

00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,781

Ooh, you should have one of us do it.

00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:41,118

We're getting "married" married,

not "6th-grade" married.

00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,704

No, it's a real thing.

00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:47,833

Anyone can be ordained on the Internet

and perform weddings and stuff.

00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:49,585

I call it!

00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:52,629

What? It was my idea!

00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:56,133

Thank you very much,

but neither of you is marrying us.

00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,468

Does calling it not mean

anything anymore?

00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:02,139

We're having a legitimate clergy member.

00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:04,975

And when I say legitimate, I mean gay...

00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:07,811

...and in control of his saliva.

00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:22,201

Ben, you know, when, uh...

When you were a baby...

00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:24,328

...we'd hang out all the time.

00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,288

Because I was your daddy's girlfriend.

00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,624

But you're not anymore.

00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:33,503

- No, I'm not.

- Because you guys were on a break...

00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:35,839

Hey, we were not on a... Okay.

00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:43,096

- When's my daddy coming back?

- Fifty-two minutes.

00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,058

[RACHEL SIGHS]

00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,270

So no brothers or sisters, huh?

00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:53,357

You know what, I had two sisters

and we just tortured each other.

00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:57,819

- Really? Like how?

- Well, you know, we would, um...

00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:00,530

We'd repeat everything the other said...

00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:04,326

...or, uh, we'd jump out of closets

to scare each other...

00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:08,288

...or, ha, switch the sugar for the salt

so they put salt on their cereal.

00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:09,623

That's a good one.

00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,418

- Yeah, you like that one?

- Yeah, you're funny.

00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:14,628

[RACHEL GASPS]

00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,046

I'm funny?

00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,048

Oh, thank God.

00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,008

Well, hey, I got a ton of these.

00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,427

Um, you, uh... You take a quarter...

00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:24,179

You take a quarter...

00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:27,891

...and you blacken the edge, right?

00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:31,520

And then you say,

"I bet you can't roll this quarter...

00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,064

...to your chin without it leaving your face."

00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:39,611

And when they do it, they're left with

a line down the center of their face.

00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,697

Can I do it to you?

00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:45,742

Yeah, I'm funny, Ben, but I'm not stupid.

00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,327

Heh, okay?

00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,501

So did you, uh,

find anyone to marry you guys yet?

00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:57,963

No, but "Horny for Monica" minister called...

00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:01,216

...wondering if we're still together.

00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,554

- We'll never find anybody.

- Then let me do it.

00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,639

- Joe...

- No, I've been thinking.

00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:11,059

I'm an actor, so I won't

get nervous in front of people.

00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:14,813

I won't spit and I won't stare

at Monica's breasts.

00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,275

Everyone knows I'm an ass man.

00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,862

- That is true.

- And the most important thing...

00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:25,574

...is it won't be some stranger

who barely knows you.

00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:29,369

It'll be me. And I swear,

I'll do a really good job.

00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:33,040

Plus, I love you guys

and it would really mean a lot to me.

00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,376

Might be kind of cool.

00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:38,795

- So I can do it?

- Yeah, you can do it.

00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,047

All right! Okay!

00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:41,923

[JOEY LAUGHING]

00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:44,468

Okay, I gotta get started

on my speech.

00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,011

Wait a minute.

00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:49,639

- Internet ministers can still have sex?

- Yeah.

00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,310

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,020

Coming.

00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:06,239

I have a bone to pick with you.

00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,868

- Uh-oh.

- Yes.

00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,412

Ben learned a little trick.

00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:18,460

- Oh, did he pull the old...?

- That's right, that's right.

00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:22,631

Saran wrap on the toilet seat...

00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,759

...so the pee goes everywhere.

00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,971

- Oh, that.

- Yeah, that.

00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:32,474

You know I hate practical jokes.

00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:36,645

They're mean, they're stupid

and I don't want my son learning them.

00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:41,274

Oh, come on. Saran wrap on the toilet seat?

Isn't that just a little funny?

00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:42,776

- I was barefoot.

- Oh.

00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,361

[LAUGHS]

00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:48,573

Tell me, the toilet thing is the

only thing you taught him, right?

00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:53,745

Yes.

00:06:56,749 --> 00:07:00,419

- Hey.

- Say hello to Reverend Joey Tribbiani.

00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:02,754

- You got ordained?

JOEY: Yeah.

00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:06,508

Just got off the Internet.

Man, there's a lot of porn out there.

00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:10,178

Our minister.

00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:13,306

I started on what I'm gonna say

for the ceremony. Want to hear it?

00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:16,476

- Yeah.

- Listen, this is just the first draft, so...

00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:17,811

[JOEY CLEARS THROAT]

00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:21,773

"We are gathered here today

on this joyous occasion...

00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:25,986

...to celebrate the special love

that Monica and Chandler share.

00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,946

Huh? Right.

00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,992

It is a love based on giving and receiving...

00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,828

...as well as having and sharing.

00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:40,208

And the love that they give and have

is shared and received.

00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:44,880

And through this having and giving...

00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:48,300

...and sharing and receiving...

00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:54,055

...we too can share and love and have...

00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:56,600

...and receive."

00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,605

Should we call the spitter?

00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,692

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:12,324

- Ha! Hey, Rachel.

- Hi.

00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:14,993

What a surprise.

What are you doing here?

00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:17,954

I was just in the neighborhood...

00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:21,750

...and I passed by your building

and thought, "What's up with Carol...

00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,418

...and sweet little Ben?"

00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:24,628

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:27,047

- That's nice. Well, uh, come on in.

- Okay.

00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:30,258

Um, I'll make some coffee

and, uh, we can chat.

00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:32,344

I'd love that. I would love that.

00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,887

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,973

So, uh... So where is sweet little Ben?

00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:38,433

I would love to have a little...

00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,185

[BOTH YELL]

00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:42,687

[RACHEL SIGHS]

00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:43,980

I found him!

00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,357

[RACHEL CHUCKLES]

00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,400

Very funny. Come here.

00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:51,446

That is exactly why I've come here

to talk to you, okay?

00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,157

CAROL: Rach, you want some sugar?

- Yes, but...

00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:55,700

Do I want sugar in my coffee?

00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,666

No, just some milk would

be good, Carol. Thanks.

00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,835

Okay. Remember all that stuff

I taught you yesterday?

00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:09,047

"Remember all that stuff

I taught you yesterday?"

00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,550

- Don't do that.

- "Don't do that."

00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:15,720

- Your dad doesn't like pranks.

- "Your dad doesn't like pranks."

00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:18,014

- Oh, damn it.

- "Oh, damn it!"

00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,517

No! Don't say that.

00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,394

- Damn it!

- Go back to repeating.

00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,187

- Damn it!

- Oh, crap.

00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,606

- "Oh, crap!"

- Oh.

00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,947

Okay, I got some more written, ready?

00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,157

[JOEY CLEARS THROAT]

00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:38,368

Yeah, okay.

00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:43,164

"When I think of the love that these

two givers and receivers share...

00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:48,336

...I can't help but envy the lifetime

ahead of having and loving...

00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:52,841

...and giving..." And then I can't

think of a good word for right here.

00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,802

- How about "receiving"?

- Yes!

00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:01,766

See, Joe, not that that's not great...

00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:06,396

...but one cool thing about having

a friend perform the ceremony...

00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,315

...is that it can be about us.

00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:12,027

It can be more personal.

You can tell stories about us.

00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:13,361

Ooh, ooh.

00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:17,699

Uh, okay. Maybe I'll talk about London.

You know, when you two hooked up.

00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,660

Only I won't say "hooked up"...

00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:23,997

...I'll say, "began their beautiful journey...

00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:26,666

- There you go.

...by doing it."

00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,755

- Joe.

- Okay, all right, um...

00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:35,634

So, uh... So how did it happen?

Did your eyes meet across the room...

00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:39,512

...then you're in the bathtub

and she's feeding you strawberries?

00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:44,309

- Isn't that what happened to you?

- Yeah!

00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:49,064

I call that "London style."

00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,025

That didn't happen with us.

00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:56,029

Ooh, but maybe you should say it is,

because "London style" sounds nice.

00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:57,238

Yeah.

00:10:57,406 --> 00:10:59,366

Okay, uh...

00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:04,162

I was sad that night because

this guy thought I was Ross' mom.

00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,372

Ah.

00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:08,958

And Chandler was really sweet

and he consoled me...

00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,878

...and we drank too much.

- Yeah, baby.

00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:18,927

I was a gentleman and I walked her

to her hotel room and said good night.

00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:20,637

Oh.

00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:24,474

- But then, later that night...

- Yeah, baby.

00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,980

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:34,401

Hey.

00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:38,196

Cute P.J.s. Really living it up

here in London, huh?

00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:43,618

Well, I wasn't exactly

expecting company after...

00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,121

...9:15.

00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,331

Is Joey here?

00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:53,002

Last I saw he was with a bridesmaid

and a bucket of strawberries.

00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:57,590

So, uh, you're not still upset

about what that guy told you, are you?

00:11:58,592 --> 00:11:59,926

Wouldn't you be?

00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:04,264

It's been a really emotional time

and you've had a lot to drink...

00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:06,182

You have to let that go, okay?

00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:09,477

You were the most beautiful woman

in the room tonight.

00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:11,563

Really?

00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:15,233

You kidding? You're the most

beautiful woman in most rooms...

00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:25,744

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on?

We just made out.

00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,288

- We're making out?

- Not anymore.

00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:32,876

- But we don't do that.

- I know, I thought it would be fun.

00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,170

How drunk are you?

00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:40,467

Enough to know I want to do this.

Not so much that you should feel guilty.

00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:43,386

That's the perfect amount.

00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,100

[BOTH MOANING]

00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:52,437

- You know what's weird?

- What?

00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,064

- This doesn't feel weird.

- I know.

00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:58,777

- You're a really good kisser.

- Well, I have kissed over four women.

00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:00,195

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,406

- Want to get under the covers?

- Mm-hm.

00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:04,783

Okay.

00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,752

Wow, you are really fast!

00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:19,047

It bodes well for me

that speed impresses you.

00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:23,092

- We're gonna see each other naked.

- Yep.

00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,471

- At the same time?

- Count of three?

00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:29,557

One, two, three.

00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:38,233

Well, I think it's safe to say

our friendship is effectively ruined.

00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,777

- Eh, we weren't that close anyway.

- Eh.

00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,865

Joey, Joey, Joey. It's Joey.

00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:49,661

Hey.

00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,372

Hey, Joe. I was just watching a movie...

00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,795

Oh, dude, I'm so sorry.

00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,548

No!

00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:04,175

It's cool, I'm still with my bridesmaid.

00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,969

Where are the condoms?

00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,012

In my bag over there.

00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:09,389

Ah.

00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,061

Uh...

00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,563

...could you leave me one?

00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:20,900

For just you?

00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:23,862

Yeah.

00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:29,534

All right. There you go, buddy.

00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:31,661

Go nuts.

00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:36,124

That's what that was?

00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:38,710

Can you imagine

if I hadn't left you that last one?

00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,254

You two might've never gotten together.

00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:44,924

Oh, ooh. Can you imagine if I had sent

that hooker up, like I was gonna?

00:14:46,927 --> 00:14:49,679

- It's like it was in the stars.

CHANDLER: Hmm.

00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:51,347

Yeah, totally meant to be.

00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:55,268

Tell him who you originally

wanted to hook up with that night.

00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,854

- What?

- What?

00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,647

What?

00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,402

Who did you originally

want to hook up with?

00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:08,156

Okay, fine, but please don't be upset.

00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:12,619

I was really depressed, okay?

And really drunk.

00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:17,332

I wanted something stupid

and meaningless. I just wanted sex.

00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:20,668

So when I went to your room that night...

00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:24,255

...I was actually looking for Joey.

00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,263

Yeah, baby.

00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,225

No, baby.

00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:38,853

Oh, my God.

00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:40,897

You came looking for Joey?

00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:45,443

- Were you planning on telling me this?

- No, I didn't think it was important.

00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,404

It's not important? It's not important?

00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,783

If it wasn't for a bridesmaid,

you'd be marrying him.

00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:56,579

No! Do you know how unbelievably

glad I am that Joey wasn't there?

00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:58,331

Hey!

00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:02,543

I'm a man of the cloth

but I still have feelings.

00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:07,757

There's no way you're doing

this wedding now, okay?

00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,594

What? That's not fair. It's not my fault.

00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,388

I was with my bridesmaid.

00:16:13,597 --> 00:16:15,682

And who's to say I would've said yes?

00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:18,059

I mean, I would've said yes.

00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:22,355

Look, you are making way

too big a deal out of this.

00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:24,232

Everything worked out okay.

00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,817

It's just weird, okay?

00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:30,029

I don't want to be saying my vows with

the mental image of you and Monica.

00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:33,449

I need... I don't know what I need.

I need a walk.

00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:37,161

- Wait, Chandler, it's not a big deal.

- It is to me.

00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:40,665

You wanted to sleep with Batman

and settled for Robin.

00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:48,715

- This is crazy.

- No, Robin is so gay.

00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:55,471

- So now what have we agreed?

- No more pranks.

00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:59,267

- What else?

- You and Daddy were not on a break.

00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,560

Very good.

00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:07,066

Rachel, what are you doing here?

00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:10,486

I'm just visiting my good friend Carol.

00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:13,406

- Your good friend?

- Yeah.

00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,241

What's her last name?

00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,120

Carol...

00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,456

...Lesbian.

- Nice.

00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:27,670

By the way, that, uh...

That line down my face...

00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:34,135

The line that prompted a student

in my last class of the day to say:

00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,262

"Dude, don't you ever wash your face?"

00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,516

I'm sorry I didn't tell you.

00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,895

I don't want you teaching my son

that stuff anymore.

00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:45,938

- Okay?

- Fine. Fine.

00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:49,859

Once I taught him that stuff,

he called me "fun Aunt Rachel."

00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:52,111

And I loved being fun Aunt Rachel.

00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:54,238

[RACHEL SIGHS]

00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,741

I'm glad you guys were bonding but...

00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:59,077

Look, he doesn't have any siblings.

00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,621

Somebody has to teach him this stuff.

00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:05,625

I haven't taught him anything

a normal 6-year-old doesn't know.

00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,919

BEN: Crap!

- I gotta go.

00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,968

JOEY: Hey.

- Hey.

00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:20,807

You want this scone? It came for me

but it would rather sleep with you.

00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:23,851

Nothing even happened.

00:18:25,312 --> 00:18:27,688

I just... I don't want you to be upset.

00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:29,649

How can I not be upset?

00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,985

I finally fall in love

with this fantastic woman...

00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:35,488

...and it turns out she wanted you first.

00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:38,574

Yeah, for like a half an hour one night.

00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,661

Chandler, she wants you

for the rest of her life.

00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:47,208

We look at you and we see you together,

and it just...

00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:50,753

It fits, you know?

00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:54,590

And you just know

it's gonna last forever.

00:18:57,594 --> 00:18:59,512

That's what you should say.

00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:02,306

What?

00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:07,186

When you're marrying us,

that's what you should say.

00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,982

Really? I could do it?

00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,484

I'd love you to do it.

00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,028

Hey.

00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:22,952

But those are the words.

Those exact words.

00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:26,414

Well, I don't remember exactly...

00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:33,171

...but it's pretty much about having

and giving and sharing and receiving.

00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:39,510

- Hey.

MONICA: Hey.

00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:42,763

- So you guys doing okay?

CHANDLER: Yeah.

00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:47,018

We talked and Monica made me see

that I overreacted a little bit.

00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:51,480

- Some things are more important.

- Yeah, baby.

00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:57,486

I'm really glad you guys are okay,

but I just keep thinking...

00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:00,907

...what would've happened

if you two had hooked up.

00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,828

Honey, dinner's ready!

00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,253

What's my little chef got for me tonight?

00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:16,797

- Your favorite.

- Ho, ho, ho.

00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:18,674

Fried stuff with cheese.

00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,259

Yep.

00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:21,969

And lots of it!

00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,304

[JOEY CHUCKLES]

00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:24,847

Thanks, sweetheart.

00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:27,975

Give me a little sugar. Okay.

00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:29,185

[JOEY SIGHS]

00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,478

MONICA:

You wanna go...?

00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,980

Here we go, here we go, here we go.

00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:35,733

[JOEY SIGHS]

00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:39,111

How you doing?

00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,203

- Hey.

- Hey!

00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:52,083

I'm sorry to do this again,

but could you look after Ben for a bit?

00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:53,960

I've got this meeting at school...

00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:57,088

...and he asked for his "fun Aunt Rachel."

00:20:57,714 --> 00:21:00,091

Well, of course I will watch him.

00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,301

We have fun, don't we, Ben?

00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:06,681

- Okay. See you later, pal.

RACHEL: Okay.

00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,140

[LAUGHS]

00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,977

Wait a minute. Ben, I can't do it.

00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,854

- You got something on your back.

- What?

00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,191

That's great. That is great.

00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,819

What did we just finish

talking about, Ben?

00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:22,947

"What did we just finish

talking about, Ben?"

00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,241

That's it! Come here!

00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:28,035

- You're in big trouble, young man!

- No, wait.

00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,413

Ben, come here! I am not kidding!

00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:31,914

You guys, hold it. Seriously...

00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:33,207

[ROSS SCREAMS]

00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,583

Oh, my God!

00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:53,102

[English - US - SDH]