Эпизод с дешёвым свадебным платьем

00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,679

Food? Oh, give me.

00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:19,184

So did Monica tell you we're trying to get

The Swing Kings to play the wedding?

00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:21,020

Since when are you into swing music?

00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:24,857

Since forever. I used to go all over town

listening to bands.

00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:28,402

- Chandler.

- Gap commercial.

00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:33,866

- So did you book them? Did you call?

- I will.

00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:38,370

- You want me to call?

- No. I'll do it. You stick to your job.

00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:41,540

- What is your job?

- Staying out of the way.

00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:46,587

This is impossible.

Why don't you just pick all 15?

00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:50,424

- There were only 12.

- Oh, yeah, I added three.

00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:53,260

What are "peanut-butter fingers"?

00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:45,646

Well, hello.

00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:47,648

She's cute.

00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:50,025

Should we go try to talk to her?

00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:55,447

Sure. The great thing about being engaged,

I'm not nervous to talk to pretty girls anymore.

00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,574

Could you guys help me?

00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,076

[CHANDLER GIGGLES]

00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:02,913

Yeah, let me get that for you.

00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,959

- It's really heavy.

- I got it.

00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:08,627

Oh!

00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:14,800

So hi, I'm Ross,

and this is my friend, Chandler.

00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,762

I'm Kristen.

00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,390

Kristen. Hi. Are you new to the area?

00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,643

Because if you are,

I'd love to show you around sometime.

00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:28,355

- I actually just moved from four blocks over.

- Oh.

00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:31,108

But this block is like a whole other world.

00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:35,320

Actually, it does have

a very interesting history.

00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:40,993

This street is the first street in the city

to have an underground sewer system.

00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:44,329

Before that, sewage and waste...

00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:47,791

...would just flow

right down the street. Yeah.

00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,669

Sometimes ankle-deep.

00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,380

Smooth.

00:02:55,091 --> 00:02:56,717

Excuse me?

00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,218

[CHANDLER GIGGLES]

00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:05,017

You're gonna be starving after moving.

What do you say I take you to dinner tonight?

00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:06,977

- I'd like that.

- Yeah? Great.

00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,437

Let me take this up.

00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:11,940

- After you.

- Oh, no. After you.

00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:15,485

Oh, my God!

00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:26,747

Am I crazy, or does this totally go?

00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:32,419

RACHEL:

Oh, my God! You look so beautiful!

00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:35,923

Thank you, Rachel.

But look at Monica!

00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:40,093

This is it. Yeah, this is the one.

00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,596

I can't believe I found it.

00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:47,476

Wow, you look so beautiful.

If I knew you, I'd cry.

00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:51,146

I'm Monica Geller. Ball like a baby.

00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,731

I'm Megan Bailey.

00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:56,610

- Have you found your dress yet?

- No. These dresses are all so amazing...

00:03:56,861 --> 00:04:00,447

...but I couldn't afford one.

- No, I can't afford this either.

00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:05,535

I'm here to figure out the one I want,

then I'll get it at Kleinman's, this discount place.

00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,955

Day after tomorrow,

they're having a huge sale.

00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:11,500

- Thanks for the tip.

- When are you getting married?

00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:16,797

- I'm not. I just like to try these on.

- I do the same thing.

00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:21,510

I'm just kidding.

I'm getting married July 25th.

00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:24,554

I'm just kidding too. Ha, ha.

00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:27,432

I'm getting married in December.

00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,895

- When are you getting married?

- May 15th.

00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:34,731

Ooh. It's close.

So who's your photographer?

00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,733

- Jeffrey.

- We met with him.

00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:42,030

- Did he show you nude wedding photos?

- Best Man? Wow!

00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:45,325

I know. I almost called off

my wedding. Heh, heh, heh.

00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:49,204

- Oh, who's your band?

- My fiancé wants The Swing Kings.

00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:53,542

You're lucky. My fiancé wants

the heavy metal band, Carcass.

00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:58,672

Is that spelled with a "C" or a "K"?

Oh, my God, it doesn't matter, they're both great!

00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,509

Oh, you know what? Don't buy that here.

00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:06,346

Now that you know what you want,

go to Kleinman's. Get it half off.

00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:08,724

This place is so over-priced.

00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:10,851

I own this store.

00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:16,023

So does this come

in another color, or...

00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:28,827

Hi. You moving in or moving out?

00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:31,038

- Moving in.

- Can I give you a hand?

00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:36,126

Okay, but be careful. The guy who was helping

before had to leave because he hurt his back.

00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,712

- Boyfriend?

- No.

00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:40,630

I'm Joey.

00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:42,341

Kristen.

00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:45,427

Wow. What a beautiful name.

00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:48,347

What is it again?

00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,767

- Kristen.

- Ah, that's it. Okay.

00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:55,228

- You live around here?

- Yeah. Yeah, right down there.

00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,314

Let me give you a tip.

00:05:57,565 --> 00:06:02,319

Don't take a nap on this stoop.

You could wake up without shoes.

00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,821

- I'll remember that.

- Okay.

00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:09,701

Listen, would you like

to have dinner with me tonight?

00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:13,080

I have plans tonight.

How about tomorrow?

00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:15,874

Sounds great.

Well, where does this go?

00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,710

You look strong. I'll take that,

you grab one of the boxes.

00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,921

Okay. Yeah.

00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:26,968

Yeah, I'll get this one.

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WOMAN 1:

What's taking so long?

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[ALL GRUMBLING]

00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,019

WOMAN 2

Come on.

00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:38,814

So this is Brooklyn?

00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:43,110

All right, listen up. There's usually only

one dress in each size.

00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:46,780

So when they open those doors,

fan out.

00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:51,910

This is what you're looking for.

Memorize it.

00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:57,249

When you locate the dress

blow on these, all right?

00:06:58,292 --> 00:07:01,503

Three sharp blasts.

When you hear it, come running.

00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,588

Okay, got it.

00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:04,881

WOMAN 1:

Here he comes!

00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:08,301

RACHEL: Oh, they're pushing!

- Don't be a baby!

00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:11,012

WOMAN 1: Out of the way!

WOMAN 2: Let's go!

00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:14,349

Hey, Rachel! Come on!

00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,190

[CHATTERING]

00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:27,195

No. No, not it. Not it. Not it. Ugh.

00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,992

Don't crowd me.

00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:37,539

This is it! This is the dress!

Oh, my God. It's perfect.

00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:39,916

I'm sorry, this one's taken! Whoa!

00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:43,879

- Megan!

- Monica!

00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,755

- You came!

- Yeah!

00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,717

- This is my dress!

- No!

00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:52,888

- Yes, it is. You saw me wearing it.

- And now you'll see me buying it.

00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,307

You freak!

00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:58,310

You wouldn't even know

about this place without me.

00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:03,648

- Look, you don't want to fight me.

- Maybe I do. I'm pretty feisty!

00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:04,858

[WHISTLES]

00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:06,776

- I'm coming! I'm coming!

- Hey!

00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:08,028

[WHISTLES BLOWING]

00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,113

Okay! Hey.

00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,281

[WHISTLES BLOWING]

00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:12,991

Oh, what do I do?!

00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:19,164

[WHISTLES BLOWING]

00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:23,502

What are you doing?

Did you find the dress?

00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:25,170

Did you find the dress?

00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:28,173

No. You gotta get me out of here.

These shoppers are crazy.

00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,467

- We've gotta get Monica.

- You gotta hold my hand!

00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:31,801

Oh, my God.

00:08:31,969 --> 00:08:33,011

[WHISTLE BLOWING]

00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,931

Excuse me! Excuse me!

00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:40,185

Go! Go! Go!

00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:42,145

- Hey.

- Go!

00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,399

[WHISTLE BLOWING]

00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:54,241

So, Ross,

how was your date the other night?

00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:59,496

Did you tell her about the magical

ride that starts with the flush of every toilet?

00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:05,877

Laugh all you want, but she left me a message

saying she'd like to go out again.

00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:09,422

- Oh.

- In fact, I'll go call her right now.

00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:12,717

And I'll make sure and tell her my

friend Chandler says...

00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,177

[GIGGLES]

00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:18,557

- Hey, Chandler.

- Hey.

00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:22,769

Sorry I didn't stop by last night,

but I had a date.

00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:27,232

Joe, when it's 1:00 in the morning and you

don't come by? That's okay.

00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:32,320

Check it out. It was with this really hot girl

who just moved in right across the street.

00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,323

- Really? Right across the street?

- Yeah.

00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,867

- When did you meet her?

- Two days ago.

00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,662

Excellent!

00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:44,249

- You know, Ross met somebody too.

- Oh, yeah?

00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:45,792

- Hey.

- How'd it go?

00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:48,169

Great. We're going out again Saturday.

00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:53,174

But I found out she's

also seeing some other guy.

00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,928

Really?

00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:02,309

Joe, what would you do

if you were in Ross' situation?

00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:06,813

Well, I sort of am. I'm dating this girl

who's also seeing another guy.

00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:09,190

But I'm not too worried about it.

00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:14,654

You shouldn't be. Believe me, I wouldn't want

to be the guy who's up against you.

00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:19,159

I mean, that doofus is going to lose.

00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:24,080

So this is nice.

00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:29,794

I wish I didn't have to go.

Believe me.

00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,212

But I have to.

00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,382

By the way, what's the name

of the girl you're dating?

00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,177

ROSS & JOEY: Kristen Leigh.

- Bye.

00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:48,605

Well, obviously, only one of us

can keep dating her.

00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:52,484

Obviously. So how do we decide?

00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:56,196

Well now,

let's look at this objectively.

00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,740

I think I should date her.

00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:02,035

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:05,747

Or I'm the one who dates her.

00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:10,585

That's interesting.

But check this out. I date her.

00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:13,505

Yeah, I like that. But just to go

in another direction...

00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,132

Okay. This can go on for a while.

00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:19,427

- We should order some food then.

- No, Joey.

00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:24,557

Look, why don't we

just let her decide, okay?

00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:27,602

We'll each go out with her

one more time.

00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:30,438

And we'll see who she likes best.

00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,817

That sounds fair.

00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:37,862

Maybe I'll take her

to that new French restaurant down the street.

00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:41,533

Wait a second.

We have to set a spending limit on the date.

00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,577

I don't have the money to take her

to a fancy place like that.

00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:48,665

Well, sorry.

That's what I do on dates.

00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:53,461

All right. Well, I guess I'll just have to do

what I do on dates.

00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:02,595

- So let's decide on a spending limit.

- Yeah.

00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:04,472

Uh...

00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,182

[JOEY MUMBLING]

00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:09,060

And a slice...

00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:12,439

Six dollars?

00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:17,193

- I was thinking more like a hundred.

- Okay.

00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:20,196

Can I borrow 94 dollars?

00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:27,162

Uh.

00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:30,540

I know. Can you hand me a tissue?

00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,005

[WHISTLES]

00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,759

You're out of Diet Coke.

00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:42,594

[PHONE RINGS]

00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:45,388

Hello?

00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:49,559

What? You what?

00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:51,603

You listen here, missy!

00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:54,981

What?

00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:58,651

That was Megan. She booked The Swing Kings

on the day of our wedding...

00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:01,404

...and said she'd only

give them back for the dress!

00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:02,947

[PHOEBE GASPS]

00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:06,117

Does that mean Carcass is available?

00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:12,248

What am I gonna do? That's the dress!

That is "the" dress!

00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:16,294

Chandler wants the band.

What do I do?

00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:19,172

- Figure out a way to talk him out of it.

- How?

00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:20,381

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,759

RACHEL:

You're out of toilet paper!

00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,016

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:32,101

- Hey.

- What's up?

00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:35,230

I wanted to wish you good luck

on your date.

00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,690

- Thanks.

- What time are you meeting?

00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:41,069

We have 8:00 reservations

at Grand Merci Bistro.

00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:44,614

That's in 20 minutes.

You'd better get dressed.

00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:49,619

- I am dressed.

- Oh, well, good.

00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:51,871

For me.

00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,793

What's this?

Did you give yourself a facial?

00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:59,587

I have an oily T-zone.

00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,715

Okay, dude.

00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:08,596

- Hey, you sent Kristen flowers?

- That's right.

00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:13,643

You spent 100 dollars.

That's the limit. You're screwed!

00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:19,482

Actually, I sent the flowers before

the actual date, so technically...

00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:24,028

...technically, I didn't break any rules.

Thanks for stopping by though.

00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:27,657

That's how it's gonna be?

I can break the rules too.

00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,410

- What are you gonna do?

- I don't know.

00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,663

- I'm not surprised.

- You won't get away with this.

00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,540

- You don't have much choice.

- We'll see!

00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,041

- Bye-bye.

- Yeah, bye-bye.

00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,963

Hey! So just a light layer?

00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:44,841

Yeah, just here and there.

00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:55,059

Joey got meat sauce

on the banister again.

00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:58,271

Swing music is so out.

00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,941

Phoebe, he's gotta be in the room

for that to work.

00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:05,320

What are you guys talking about?

00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:08,031

We're talking about The Swing Kings...

00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:10,992

...and whether they're

the right way to go.

00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:13,870

I went to a wedding

where they had swing music...

00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:16,497

...and two months later

the couple divorced.

00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:21,169

I'm not saying

there's any connection here...

00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:24,756

...but they did tell me

that's why they got divorced.

00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,134

But I love swing music!

00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,011

But The Swing Kings?

00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:35,642

They suck so much that people actually die

at their concerts. They just stop living.

00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:39,729

When Monica and I went to see them,

we had fun.

00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:41,689

And there's another reason.

00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:46,194

- Well, what is the other reason?

- I don't want to say.

00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:49,989

Well, you have to,

because maybe it's stupid.

00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:55,870

It's just while Monica and I

were dancing to them...

00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:59,290

...it was the first time

I knew that...

00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:04,337

...you were the woman that I wanted

to dance all my dances with.

00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,092

Oh, crap.

00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:20,770

- Our table will be ready in just a few minutes.

- Oh, great.

00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:24,232

- Is your back feeling better?

- Yeah, it's fine.

00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:27,235

I guess, ahem, the more muscles you have...

00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:30,905

...the more they can

spasm out of control.

00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,784

- Kristen?

- Joey!

00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,536

JOEY: Hi.

KRISTEN: Hi.

00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:41,082

- What are you doing here?

- I like this place.

00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:46,045

And technically, technically,

I'm not breaking any rules, so...

00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:50,508

Well, Ross, this is Joey.

Joey, Ross.

00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:53,386

- Hi.

- Hi. It's nice to meet you.

00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:56,848

I used to have a friend named Joey.

00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,393

I don't anymore.

00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:04,814

Our table will be ready

in a couple minutes.

00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:09,152

Sure! I would love

to wait with you guys! Thanks!

00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:15,908

So Joey, you look familiar.

00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,870

Are you on TV or something?

00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:21,289

Joey doesn't like to talk about it...

00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:24,959

...but he's one of the stars

of Days of Our Lives.

00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:30,006

That's right. That's right.

Don't you play a woman?

00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:36,054

A woman in a man's body.

00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,389

Much better.

00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:42,602

So, Ross, it's funny, because you

look familiar to me too.

00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:45,354

Have you ever been married?

00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:48,149

Yes, I have.

00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,651

In fact, just the other day...

00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:55,031

...Kris and I talked about how

I've been married and have a son.

00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:59,327

- Yeah, little Eric.

- That's right. Wait. No, Ben.

00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:05,166

So you've just been married

the one time then?

00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:11,297

- Well, um...

- You've been married twice?

00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:15,259

Yes. And...

00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:18,179

...another time after that.

00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:23,226

Boy, I'm getting hungry.

00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:26,562

Ahem. Hey, Joey, have you ever been

so hungry on a date...

00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:31,234

...that when the girl goes to the

bathroom, you eat some of her food?

00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:36,948

You said the waiter ate my crab cake.

00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:38,783

[CHUCKLES]

00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:43,913

So, Ross, now why did

that first marriage break up? Hm?

00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:49,210

Was it because the woman was straight

or because she was a lesbian?

00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:53,923

- Do you two know each other?

ROSS & JOEY: No.

00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,968

But he seems like

a guy who'd marry a woman...

00:18:57,177 --> 00:19:01,722

...on the verge of being a lesbian

and then push her over the edge.

00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:09,272

Wait a minute!

Were you on a poster for gonorrhea?

00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:15,653

Have you ever slept

in the same bed with a monkey?

00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:18,781

Hey, you leave Marcel out of this!

00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,868

Fine! You ever gotten stuck

in a pair of your own leather pants?

00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:27,456

Hey, hey! Have you ever locked yourself

in a TV cabinet, VD-boy?

00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:29,917

Monkey-lover!

00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,136

Where do you think we lost her?

00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:43,139

Probably around "gonorrhea."

00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:54,108

- Hi, honey, I'm home!

MONICA: Don't come in here!

00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:58,196

Why, do you have another

boyfriend in there?

00:19:58,405 --> 00:20:01,407

MONICA:

No. We only mess around at his place.

00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:07,246

It's funny, I started it, but now it's scaring me,

so could you come out here, please?

00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:09,207

MONICA:

No. I'm wearing a wedding dress.

00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:11,125

You got a wedding dress? That's great.

00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:14,962

MONICA: Yeah, but I'm not keeping it.

- Then why can't I see it?

00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,048

MONICA:

Oh. I guess you can.

00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:20,426

But I have to return it,

so you can't like it.

00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:23,846

Okay, I promise. I'll hate it.

00:20:29,436 --> 00:20:32,897

Wow. You look hideous.

00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,483

Really?

00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:40,613

Yeah. That's like the most

ugliest dress I've ever seen.

00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:42,865

Why do you have to return it?

00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:46,035

Because it doesn't really fit.

00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:48,329

Oh, by the way, I booked The Swing Kings.

00:20:48,538 --> 00:20:51,457

Oh, that's great. Great. Thanks.

00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,377

But that dress, I mean, it's like, ugh, terrible.

00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:58,130

- It makes me want to rip it right off you.

- Okay.

00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,049

But you can't rip it.

00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,093

- Well, maybe a little.

- Okay.

00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:14,855

Hey, guys, you want to look

at the song list for the wedding?

00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:16,482

Guys?

00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,859

CHANDLER:

I thought you'd be gone all day.

00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:21,779

All right, what's going on?

00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:34,083

I'm sorry. I should probably

leave you girls alone.

00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:38,963

Laugh all you want, but in 10 minutes

we'll have younger-looking skin.

00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,840

- Yeah.

- Right there.

00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:44,844

You know, she could use a little...

00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:46,387

[JOEY WHISTLES]

00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:48,931

- Oh, nice shot! Yeah!

- Oh! Oh! Oh!

00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:54,270

[English - US - SDH]