Эпизод с клятвами

00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:10,676

Four weeks, baby. Four weeks!

00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:13,595

You realize you get louder each week?

00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:18,142

There's still so much to do!

Have you written your vows?

00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:22,896

I figured I'd just buy those.

"Pat, I'd like to buy a vow." Ha, ha.

00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:27,026

You know I've no sense of humor

when it comes to this.

00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:33,323

- Right. Have you written yours yet?

- No, but I know what I'm gonna say.

00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:36,702

Do you happen to know

what I'm gonna say?

00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:41,665

Let's do it now. It won't be hard.

00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:43,876

Say what's in your heart.

00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:54,303

CHANDLER: Look at her go.

She must love me more than I love her!

00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:59,099

What's wrong with me?

Ooh, don't open that door.

00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:45,312

Phew. "Monica, there are no words..."

00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:51,276

There are no words!

This shouldn't be this hard!

00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:56,365

Uh... Oh! You've done this before.

What did you say in your vows?

00:01:56,533 --> 00:02:00,869

With Carol I promised never

to love another woman until I die.

00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:02,996

She made no such promise.

00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:08,460

I'm pathetic. Monica knows what

to say, you should have seen her.

00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,965

RACHEL:

What's the emergency?

00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:17,177

You have to help me write my vows.

All I have is this.

00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:21,306

I like the pretty drawing

of you in the wedding dress.

00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:26,353

- Thank you.

- Except your breasts look small.

00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,523

Those are my eyes!

00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:35,070

- Those are my breasts.

- Oh, yeah.

00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,658

Why don't you start

with something simple?

00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,118

Like, um:

00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:46,540

"Monica, from the moment I met you

I knew I loved you."

00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,500

I can't do that.

00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:51,211

Everyone, this is Chandler.

00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,505

Hi, I'm Ross' little sister.

00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,133

Okay.

00:02:58,094 --> 00:03:01,513

Okay, okay.

Um, maybe you could start with:

00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:04,391

"Chandler, even though

we were friends...

00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:08,145

...there was a part of me

that knew I wanted more."

00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:13,108

All right, there's a nuclear

holocaust. I'm the last man on Earth.

00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,651

Would you go out with me?

00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,153

[CHUCKLES]

00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:17,821

[GRUNTS]

00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,868

Ooh! Are we allowed

to lie in the vows?

00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:28,749

Okay, don't talk about those feelings.

Just say something about...

00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,877

...all the things

he's taught you, like...

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Or all the things you taught him.

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Everybody knows the erogenous zones.

One, two, three...

00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:50,687

...four, five, six and seven.

00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:52,689

There are seven?

00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,946

- That's one?

- Heh, heh. Kind of an important one.

00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:02,032

I was looking at it upside down.

00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:07,496

Ha. You know, sometimes that helps.

00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:15,254

Okay, start out with a little one...

00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:18,298

...a two, a one-two-three...

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...a three, a five...

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...a four, a three-two...

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...two, a two-four-six.

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Two-four-six, four, two...

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...two, four-seven...

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...five-seven, six-seven...

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...seven, seven...

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...seven, seven, seven...

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...seven!

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[MOUTHS]

Seven.

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Oh! I got it.

How about something like:

00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:03,885

"Monica, when I look back

over our time together..."

00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:10,517

- Yeah?

- I can't do all of it.

00:05:10,768 --> 00:05:12,477

Look back over your time together.

00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,524

MONICA:

Oh, look, twins!

00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:21,737

No fair! I don't even have one,

how come they get two?

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- You'll get one.

- Yeah, when?

00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,283

All right, I'll tell you what.

00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,869

When we're 40,

if neither of us are married...

00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:33,874

...what do you say we have one?

- Why wouldn't I be married?

00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,210

Oh, no, no, no.

I just meant hypothetically.

00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:40,464

Hypothetically,

why won't I be married?

00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:41,757

No, no.

00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:45,552

What is it? Is there

something unmarriable about me?

00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,889

- Uh... Uh...

- Well?

00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:52,392

Dear God, this parachute

is a knapsack!

00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,146

ROSS:

I'm getting married today!

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[CHEERS]

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Think he knew I was here?

00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:09,993

Nice try.

00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,995

MONICA:

Wait, wait, wait.

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- Look, Monica...

- Ah!

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- This is not gonna work.

- I bet this'll work.

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[CHUCKLING]

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You are so great! I love you.

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MONICA:

What?

00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:50,283

I said you're so great,

and then I stopped talking.

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- You said you love me!

- No, I didn't.

00:06:57,458 --> 00:06:59,835

- Yes, you did.

- No, I didn't!

00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,463

- You love me!

- No, I don't!

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Stop it! Stop it!

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[SCREAMING]

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You know, I was thinking,

what if I, uh, unpack here?

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Then all your stuff would be here.

00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,354

Well...

00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:23,733

What if it was here?

00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,487

Then you'd be going back

and forth all the time.

00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:29,573

Doesn't make any sense.

00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:31,658

Okay.

00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:37,164

What if we live together,

and you understand what I'm saying?

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We wanted to surprise you.

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Oh, my God!

00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,778

Chandler...

00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:11,907

...in all my life...

00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:15,452

...I never thought I'd be so lucky...

00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:22,584

...as to fall in love with my best...

00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:23,919

[SOBBING]

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My best... There's a reason

why girls don't do this!

00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,425

Okay, okay, okay! I'll do it.

00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,386

I thought...

00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:39,184

I can do this.

00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:42,145

[CHUCKLES]

00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,648

I thought...

00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:50,070

...that it mattered what I said

or where I said it.

00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:55,909

Then I realized the only thing

that matters is that you...

00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:04,251

You make me happier

than I ever thought I could be.

00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,548

And if you let me...

00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:14,052

...I'll spend the rest of my life

trying to make you feel the same way.

00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,604

Monica?

00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,066

Will you marry me?

00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:31,987

Yes.

00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,586

JOEY: Can we come in?

We're dying out here!

00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,338

Come in! Come in!

00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,258

- We're engaged!

ALL: Yes!

00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,510

[ALL CHEERING]

00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,438

JOEY & ROSS: Hey.

RACHEL: Hey.

00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,189

- Hi.

- What have you guys been up to?

00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:11,735

Uh, helping Chandler write his vows.

He kicked us out.

00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:14,696

Joey kept making

inappropriate suggestions.

00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:20,577

How is "Monica, I love

your sweet ass" inappropriate?

00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,080

How's Monica doing?

00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:28,168

Lucky she's got a sweet ass.

She's not so good at writing.

00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:32,380

In four weeks

they're gonna be married!

00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,758

Let's just hope it works.

00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:37,177

Nine out of 10 marriages

end in divorce.

00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,596

Heh. That's not true.

00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,848

You're right. How's the missus?

00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:44,768

I can't believe...

00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:47,437

...they're together 3 years.

- That long?

00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:51,066

It seems like less

because they hid it from us.

00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:52,275

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,778

JOEY:

Hey, it's me. Coming in.

00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,953

I've had a very long, hard day.

00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:08,208

- Uh, I'm getting chicken. Want some?

- Uh, no. Bye, then.

00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,420

[GASPING]

00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:14,297

Are you okay?

I'm so sorry.

00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:17,676

He wouldn't leave.

He kept asking if I wanted chicken.

00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,219

Chicken?

00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:22,097

I could eat some chicken.

00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:25,016

Hey, Joe!

00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:31,147

Can I get a, uh, three-piece,

uh, coleslaw, beans and a Coke?

00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:32,482

[SHOUTS]

00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:33,983

Diet Coke.

00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:42,325

- Why didn't they tell us?

- I know, we were cool about it.

00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:45,453

You? And you?

00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,748

You cannot tell. No one knows.

00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:50,792

How? When?

00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,586

- It happened in London.

- In London?

00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:55,130

[CHANDLER STAMMERS

INDISTINCTLY]

00:11:56,507 --> 00:12:00,135

We didn't want to make

a big deal out of it.

00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:02,554

But it is a big deal!

00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:05,473

- I have to tell someone.

- No, no!

00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:07,976

- You can't.

- Please!

00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:12,564

We don't want to deal with telling

them. Just promise you won't tell.

00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,525

[JOEY GROANING]

00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,485

All right!

00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:20,196

MONICA [OVER PHONE]:

I can't wait to be with you.

00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:22,490

I'll tell Rachel I'm doing laundry.

00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:25,702

CHANDLER:

Laundry, huh? Is that my new nickname?

00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,497

MONICA:

Aw.

00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:32,208

You know your nickname, Mr. Big...

00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:33,710

[SCREAMS]

00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:39,716

Oh, look, there's Monica and Chandler.

Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey!

00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,847

[SHOUTING]

00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:52,604

Chandler and Monica!

00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,272

Oh, my God!

00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:57,400

- Aah! Chandler and Monica!

- Oh, my God!

00:12:57,693 --> 00:13:01,279

- Oh, my eyes! My eyes!

- Phoebe! Phoebe!

00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:05,158

- It's okay! It's okay!

- No! They're doing it!

00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:06,576

I know! I know!

00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,077

- You know?

- Yes!

00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:11,456

And Joey, but Ross doesn't,

so stop screaming!

00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,082

Hey, what's going on?

00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:15,084

[BOTH SCREAMING]

00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:17,462

What? What?

00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:20,715

We're excited that you

might get this place!

00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:24,636

- Actually, it looks really good.

- It looks pretty good!

00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:25,845

[BOTH SCREAMING]

00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:27,430

PHOEBE:

Get in here! Come on!

00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:29,641

[ROSS SCREAMING]

00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:33,895

So they don't know

that Rachel knows?

00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:38,066

Yes, but it doesn't matter

who knows what.

00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:41,528

Enough of us know.

We can just tell them we know.

00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:44,697

The lying and the secrets

will be over.

00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:49,536

Or, we can not tell them we know

and have a little fun of our own.

00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:53,414

We better go if we're gonna

catch that movie.

00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,375

- Bye.

RACHEL & CHANDLER: Bye.

00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,253

Bye, Chandler. I miss you already.

00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:06,427

Did you see

the inappropriate pinching?

00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:07,762

Actually, I did.

00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:11,391

So now do you believe

that she's attracted to me?

00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,603

Oh, my God!

My God, she knows about us!

00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:19,232

- Phoebe knows about us!

- I didn't tell them.

00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,318

Them? Who's them?

00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:26,114

Uh, Phoebe and Joey.

00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,200

Joey!

00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:30,827

And Rachel.

00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:34,038

They made me promise not to tell.

00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:37,667

They think they are so slick,

messing with us!

00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:41,004

They don't know that we know

that they know.

00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,340

- So...

- Ah, yes!

00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:47,468

The messers become the messees!

00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:52,056

My God, he wants me to come

over and feel his biceps!

00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,309

- Are you kidding?

- No.

00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:57,061

I can't believe he'd do that to Mo...

00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:08,573

Joey? Do they know that we know?

00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,284

- No.

- Joey!

00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:14,162

- They know you know.

- Ugh! I knew it!

00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:17,248

I cannot believe those two!

00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,209

They thought that they could

mess with us? With us?

00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:22,045

[RACHEL CHUCKLES]

00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:27,008

They don't know that we know

they know we know.

00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,261

Joey, you can't say anything.

00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,388

Couldn't if I wanted to.

00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,100

This is totally getting out of hand.

00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:38,978

- She wants me to put lotion on her!

- She's bluffing!

00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,106

She's not backing down.

She went like this.

00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:47,403

He's not backing down.

He went to get lotion.

00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,283

Oh, man.

Aren't you guys done yet?

00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:57,080

The sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler

the sooner this is all over.

00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:59,207

- Ooh, I like that.

RACHEL: Okay.

00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:04,295

Okay, show him your bra.

He's afraid of bras. Can't work them.

00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:05,797

[RACHEL AND PHOEBE GASP]

00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,222

Wow! You didn't rip off

any buttons.

00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:16,057

It's not my first time.

00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,937

You go seduce her until she cracks.

00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:22,981

Okay, give me a second.

00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,734

- Did you clean up in here?

- Of course.

00:16:32,616 --> 00:16:33,866

Oh, you're, uh, going?

00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,327

Um, not without you, lover.

00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:44,544

So, this is my bra.

00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:50,299

It's very, very nice.

00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:55,013

Well, come here.

00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:57,890

I'm happy we're gonna

have all the sex.

00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:02,895

You should be. Heh. I'm very bendy.

00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:11,070

- I'm gonna kiss you.

- Not if I kiss you first.

00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:28,880

[BOTH CHUCKLE NERVOUSLY]

00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:34,260

There's nothing left

for us to do but kiss.

00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,013

Here it comes.

00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:39,599

Our first kiss.

00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:52,028

- Okay, okay, okay, fine, you win!

- Ha!

00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:54,030

- I can't have sex.

- Why not?

00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,991

- I'm in love with Monica.

- You're what?

00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:04,540

Love her! That's right, I love her!

I love her!

00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,005

I love you, Monica.

00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,133

I love you too, Chandler.

00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,433

I thought you guys were doing it,

I didn't know you were in love.

00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,936

[CHANDLER CHUCKLES]

00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,647

That's it, it's over.

Everybody knows.

00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:31,901

- Well, Ross doesn't.

- We'd like it if no one told him yet.

00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,528

No.

00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,321

[STAMMERS INDISTINCTLY]

00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:38,116

What are you doing?

00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:42,787

Get off my sister!

00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:47,333

Friends getting married,

it's gotta change things.

00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:49,210

Think it'll be different?

00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:52,505

How can it not be?

They're gonna have kids...

00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:56,092

...and hang out with other couples

who have kids.

00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:58,845

And maybe they'll leave the city...

00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:01,889

...to be near a Volvo dealership.

00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,352

Things change.

00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:09,814

I don't want them

to move to a Volvo dealership.

00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,442

It'll be okay, Joe. Heh.

00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:17,155

Sorry. I just...

I like things the way they are.

00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,866

Who's this little naked guy?

00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:22,160

Uh, that naked guy would be me.

00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:25,454

- Ha, aw, look at the little thing.

- Ha-ha-ha.

00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,123

Yes.

00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:32,712

Yes, fine, that is my penis.

Can we be grownups now?

00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,799

- Who are those people?

- Got me.

00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,093

Oh, that's Nana right there.

00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:41,929

- Wow.

- Let's see.

00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,807

"Me and the gang at Java Joe's."

00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:48,561

Wow. Monica, you look like

your grandma. How old was she?

00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:50,688

Let's see, 1939.

00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,982

Yeah, uh, 24, 25.

00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:56,110

Huh. Looks like a fun gang.

00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:04,785

Ooh! Look, look, look!

I got Monica naked.

00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:05,995

RACHEL:

Let me see.

00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:07,371

[JOEY CHUCKLES]

00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:08,831

[RACHEL LAUGHS]

00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,917

No, that would be me again.

00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:17,506

Hey, you guys.

00:20:17,674 --> 00:20:18,716

PHOEBE: Hey.

JOEY: Hey.

00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:21,969

CHANDLER: What's going on?

- Well, we were just talking about...

00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:25,431

...you guys getting married

and how great it is.

00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:29,685

Yeah, you can get a Volvo.

If that's what you really want.

00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,355

- That's so sweet.

- Hmm.

00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:37,485

- So, we both finished our vows.

- Can we read them?

00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:40,655

As long as I don't hear his

and he doesn't hear mine.

00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:42,573

RACHEL: Okay.

PHOEBE: Okay.

00:20:45,869 --> 00:20:47,245

- Aw.

- Oh.

00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:49,705

[MEN LAUGHING]

00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:52,416

Oh, that's beautiful.

00:20:53,835 --> 00:20:55,253

Funny one! Good!

00:20:57,464 --> 00:20:58,965

Will you marry me?

00:21:00,842 --> 00:21:03,719

- Ha-ha-ha.

- What? I don't get it.

00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:05,179

Oh, yeah!

00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:06,472

[LAUGHING]

00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:11,060

- Man, this is hilarious!

- Chandler!

00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:14,939

Don't worry, we'll make yours funnier.

00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:24,782

Okay, what do you think?

00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:31,789

- Dude...

- I have never known love like this.

00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:35,084

- You really like it?

- Dude!

00:21:36,503 --> 00:21:38,296

How did you write this?

00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:41,090

I stole Monica's

and changed the name. Shh.

00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:46,095

- You can't do that!

- If he goes first he can!

00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:54,854

[English - US - SDH]