Эпизод с отцом Чендлера

00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:06,964

I saw the Porsche parked out front.

00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:10,509

Can I get the keys?

I'll take that bad boy for a spin.

00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:15,723

Ross drives it? When I ask,

you say you're the only one allowed to.

00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:19,393

He's my brother, plus he drives

so slow he couldn't hurt it.

00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:22,229

It's a car, Monica, not a rocket ship.

00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:23,814

Whatever, Ross.

00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:26,942

Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights

after you're done.

00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:28,235

[RACHEL CHUCKLES]

00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:30,195

- Hey.

ROSS: Hi.

00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:34,825

Saw the Porsche. Looking good.

When can I take it out again?

00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:42,541

- You let Joey drive it?

- I've never driven it. Not once.

00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,794

Okay, once. Okay, I drive it all the time.

00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:52,301

So much for the "you can drive it

but don't tell Rachel" plan.

00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:55,512

Wow, I can't believe you lied to me.

00:00:55,680 --> 00:01:00,642

I can fix this. Monica, Rachel thinks

all you can talk about is the wedding.

00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:07,483

I won't let you drive the Porsche

because you're a terrible driver.

00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:10,319

There. That wasn't about the wedding.

00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:16,825

If you want a ride in the Porsche,

I'll take you around the block.

00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:18,494

You got a couple hours?

00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,702

Whew, that was a brisk ride.

00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:02,079

[PANTING]

00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,791

- Take the top down, did you?

- Only way to fly.

00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,334

[RACHEL CHUCKLES]

00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:12,214

Give me the keys. Monica's wrong.

I'm an excellent driver.

00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:16,468

You're fast and irresponsible.

That adds up to a bad driver.

00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:20,222

In high school, that added up

to head cheerleader.

00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:27,813

Did you see the look

that girl just gave me, huh?

00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,774

She must've seen me cruising

in the bad boy.

00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:34,153

- She's checking out your beehive.

- What?

00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:37,406

- Give me a brush.

- Give me the keys.

00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,158

- No way!

- Well, no brush.

00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:41,201

Fine. It doesn't matter.

00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:45,455

If I remember correctly, there's a comb

on the floor of the bathroom.

00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:03,473

Alimony.

00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:10,981

We still haven't gotten an RSVP

from your dad.

00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:15,777

Oh, right. Um, maybe that's because

I didn't send him an invitation.

00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:20,032

Chandler, he's your father.

He should be at your wedding.

00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:24,203

I don't even know him.

I haven't seen him in years.

00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:26,914

And when he finds out he wasn't asked?

00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:29,374

We don't run in the same circles.

00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,669

I hang out with you guys and he...

00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:35,547

...stars in a drag show in Vegas.

00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:38,342

Ooh, I think I want to trade circles.

00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:42,179

You don't want him there.

Nobody will stare at the bride...

00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:45,724

...when the groom's father's

wearing a backless dress.

00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,059

Heh, so what?

00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:50,646

As long as he's not wearing

a white dress and a veil, I don't care.

00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:53,273

I think I need to do some shopping.

00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,905

Ah.

00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:02,866

Ooh, nice.

00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,910

[RACHEL YELLS]

00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,536

My God!

00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:11,959

- What do you think you're doing?

- Just washing the windshield.

00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:13,794

[GRUNTING]

00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:19,841

There's no way I'll let you drive this car.

00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:22,844

- Just hand over the keys.

- Oh.

00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:24,096

Oh, ah-ah-ah!

00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,640

Do not start this car.

00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:29,017

[ENGINE STARTS]

00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,688

Okay, okay. I will give you 20 bucks...

00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:36,358

...if you get out of this car right now. Hey!

00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:39,653

Look.

00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:42,406

If you're so freaked out, get in the car.

00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:44,283

With you? Yeah, right.

00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:45,701

All right.

00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:47,953

Okay, okay, okay.

00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:55,669

- What are you doing? Get in front.

- In the death seat?

00:05:02,343 --> 00:05:04,136

- Hey, guys.

- Hi, sweetie.

00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:07,639

- Ready to go?

- My purse is at Mon's. I'll be back.

00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,099

- Wait a minute.

- What?

00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,726

Oh.

00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:12,894

Ooh!

00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,521

[CHUCKLES]

00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:15,814

Oops.

00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,108

Whoa, oh, that one kept going.

00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:21,194

[JAKE SIGHS]

00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:25,073

So, you and Phoebe, huh?

00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,242

- How long have you been going out?

- A month.

00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,829

Wow. We ought to get to

know each other better.

00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:34,583

- Sure. I'd like that.

- Yeah. So, uh...

00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,210

What's your name?

00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:38,920

[LAUGHS]

00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,840

- It's Jake.

- Joey.

00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,551

- Do you like the Knicks?

- Yeah, big fan.

00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:48,388

Me too. There's a game Tuesday.

Do you want to go?

00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:52,309

Great! Let me make sure

I'm not doing anything Tuesday.

00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,027

Here.

00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:05,739

- What's this?

- Your suitcase. We're going to Vegas.

00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,992

Are you serious? Eloping?

No more stupid wedding stuff.

00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:13,580

No more these flowers, these flowers.

Think of the money we'll save.

00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:17,626

We're not eloping. I love the flowers.

Can our wedding be bigger, please?

00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,587

We're going to see your dad.

00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:23,298

I want to get to know my father-in-law.

00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,509

We already went over this and I won.

00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:28,637

No, you didn't. Honey, just so you know...

00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,640

Now that you're marrying me,

you don't get to win anymore.

00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:36,978

Forget it. I don't want to go.

I don't want to see him.

00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,856

I know your dad embarrassed you.

00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:42,567

All kids are embarrassed

by their parents.

00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:46,071

You need a new word

for what I went through.

00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:49,199

In high school,

he came to all my swim meets...

00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:52,577

...dressed as a Hollywood starlet.

00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:54,121

It's hard enough to be 14.

00:06:54,288 --> 00:06:58,417

You're skinny, wearing Speedos

your mom promised you'd grow into.

00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:04,047

You look up in the stands.

There's your dad cheering you on.

00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:08,135

Dressed as Carmen Miranda,

wearing a headdress with real fruit...

00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:12,848

...that he'll later give to your friends

as a healthy snack.

00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:18,270

The point is that he was at every one

of your swim meets cheering you on.

00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,397

That's a pretty great dad.

00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,524

He had sex with Mr. Garibaldi.

00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:25,986

- Who's Mr. Garibaldi?

- Does it matter?

00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,072

Chandler...

00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:34,077

You're not 14 anymore, okay?

Maybe it's time you let that stuff go.

00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:40,542

If he's not at your wedding,

you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:45,714

Okay, but I'm just doing this for you.

00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,299

Yes!

00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:52,262

- I never get to win anymore?

- How much did you ever win before?

00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,976

- Pheebs.

- Hey.

00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:01,938

You know how, uh, when you're wearing pants

and you lean forward...

00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:03,565

...I check out your underwear?

00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,233

Yeah.

00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:08,111

- Well, when Jake did it...

- Mm-hm.

00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:11,823

...I saw that he was wearing

women's underwear.

00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,742

I know. They were mine.

00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,660

Oh.

00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,078

[CHUCKLES]

00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:19,664

No, no, wait. That's weird.

00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:23,668

We were goofing around,

and I dared him to try them on.

00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,253

That's weird!

00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:29,257

- I'm wearing his briefs right now.

- That's kind of hot.

00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:35,472

I think so too. And that little flap?

Great for holding my lipstick.

00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:42,395

I wouldn't know about that.

00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:48,109

Jake says that women's underwear

is actually more comfortable.

00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:51,279

He loves how silk feels against his skin.

00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:55,700

Next he'll say your high heels

are good for his posture.

00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:59,412

There's nothing wrong with Jake.

He is all man.

00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:01,331

I think, more than you.

00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:05,377

He looked like a real lumberjack

in those pink lacies.

00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:10,674

Only a man completely secure

with his masculinity...

00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:14,135

...could walk around in women's underwear.

I don't think you could.

00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:18,348

- I am secure with my masculinity.

- Okay, whatever.

00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:21,101

You've seen my huge stack of porn.

00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:27,190

[NELLY'S "RIDE WIT ME"

PLAYING ON CAR STEREO]

00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:30,235

Where they at? Where they at?

Where they at? Where they at?

00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,987

[RACHEL SIGHS]

00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:35,490

God, I forgot how much I love driving.

00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,368

I have got to get my license renewed.

00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:45,375

You don't have a valid driver's license?

Pull over right now.

00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,628

You're so tense. You just gotta relax, okay?

00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:53,925

Okay? Just need to relax. All right?

Just need to relax.

00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:57,971

What are you...? That's not funny.

Stop horsing around.

00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,390

I am not horsing around, okay?

00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:03,852

I am "Porsche-ing" around.

00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:06,771

[POLICE SIREN WAILING]

00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,775

Uh-oh.

00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:16,072

Stay calm. Nothing will happen.

You're not in that much trouble.

00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,657

Really? You think so?

00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:20,619

I'm talking to myself. You're going down!

00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,395

[GRUMBLES]

00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,450

[CHER'S "BELIEVE"

PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:04,245

I can feel something inside me say

00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:06,164

Has someone taken your order?

00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:11,878

Oh, yeah. She did. Um, he did. She?

I'm sorry, I'm new. I don't...

00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:13,963

Mm-hm.

00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:17,342

- I just ordered a beer.

- You're straight. I get it.

00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:22,389

If we called your dad,

we'd have better seats.

00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,434

I don't want him to know

we're here yet. I'm not ready.

00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,437

He won't be too happy to see me either.

00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:30,980

Why not?

00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:35,610

I don't know if I told you this,

but he's kind of tried to contact me...

00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,822

...a lot over the last few years.

- What?

00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:42,117

Yeah. He's made phone calls,

written letters.

00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:45,912

He even came to New York.

I said I was too busy.

00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,748

It's very "Cat's in the Cradle."

I don't want to get into it.

00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,168

[CHANDLER SIGHS]

00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:53,628

Here we go.

00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,714

ANNOUNCER [OVER PA]:

Ladies and gentlemen...

00:11:55,881 --> 00:12:00,218

...please welcome the incomparable

Helena Handbasket.

00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,724

Hello, darlings.

00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:08,184

And there's Daddy.

00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:18,319

Okay. Switch places with me. Come on!

I'll go under, you go over.

00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:21,322

- Yeah, I'll get right on that.

- Ugh, come on!

00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,074

What? No. Hey, Rach, come on.

00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:26,870

I'm sure we won't get arrested for this.

00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,290

God!

00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:37,464

Hi, officer. Was I going a little too fast?

00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,257

Oh, my God.

00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:43,136

- Can I see your license, please?

- Oh, yes, absolutely.

00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:47,849

It's weird. I had a dream last night

that I was stopped by a policeman.

00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,058

[CHUCKLES]

00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:50,268

And then he, um...

00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:54,147

Well, I probably shouldn't tell you the rest.

00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:59,778

- Your license.

- Yes. Ahem. Here you go, Officer, uh...

00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:01,446

...Handsome.

00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:05,408

- It's Hanson.

- Oops, sorry. My mistake.

00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,577

Dear Lord!

00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:11,039

- Wow!

- Here it comes.

00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:12,874

This is a great picture.

00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,375

Ah!

00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:18,087

Really? You think so?

You know, I had just rolled right out of bed.

00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:19,923

You look phenomenal.

00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:23,009

She should! It was taken 10 years ago!

00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,473

You know, you're probably, um...

00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:30,642

Probably wondering about the old date.

00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:34,020

Yes, I am. You're an Aquarius, huh?

00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:38,066

- I'll bet you're a Gemini.

- No.

00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:39,567

- Taurus?

- No.

00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:41,569

- Virgo?

- No.

00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,780

- Sagittarius?

- Yep.

00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:46,407

I knew it. I knew it!

00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:49,577

- You won't speed anymore, right?

- I won't speed.

00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:52,539

- Promise to take care of this?

- I promise.

00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:54,666

Let him drive. Does he have a license?

00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,252

- Yeah.

- Can he handle a stick?

00:13:57,419 --> 00:14:00,922

- Oh, well...

- I can handle a stick!

00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,801

[PIANO PLAYING "I FEEL PRETTY"]

00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,469

[SINGING]

I feel pretty

00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,304

Oh, so pretty

00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:11,015

I feel pretty and witty and

00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,517

AUDIENCE:

Gay

00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:20,233

- That can't be your father.

- I've been saying that for years.

00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,527

- Oh, my God!

- What?

00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,238

That's Mr. Garibaldi playing the piano.

00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:26,948

[MONICA CHUCKLES]

00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,117

For I'm loved

00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:34,247

By a pretty wonderful boy

00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,041

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,963

Hello, and welcome to the show.

00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:46,009

I see some of our regulars in the audience.

00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:49,512

And a couple of irregulars.

00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:55,268

- He's coming into the audience.

- Relax. You'll be fine.

00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:59,022

Oh, much better. You're invisible now.

00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:02,483

- Where are you from?

- Bakersfield.

00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:04,694

- I'm sorry?

- Bakersfield.

00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,906

No, no, I heard. I'm just sorry.

00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,618

I'll meet you back at the hotel.

00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:17,373

Look, a standing ovation already.

So early in the show.

00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:21,544

Turn around, darling.

Let me see your pretty face.

00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,932

Can we have our drinks, please?

Uh, waiter? ...tress?

00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,654

- Hey, Pheebs.

- Hey.

00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,449

Check it out.

00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:53,826

Huh?

00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:58,998

How much of a man am I?

00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:03,836

Wow, nice. Manly, and also kind of a slut.

00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:08,174

You know, I'm beginning to see

what Jake was talking about.

00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,843

- Uh-huh.

- The silk feels really good.

00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:16,474

And things aren't as smashed down

as I thought they would be.

00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,850

That's great.

00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:20,770

You have so many more choices

than with men's underwear.

00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:26,359

Bikini, French cut, thong.

And the fabrics: Cotton, silk, lace.

00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:30,196

You know what I've always

wondered about? Pantyhose!

00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:34,534

The way they start at your toe,

then they go all the way up to...

00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:40,957

- I should go take these off.

- I think it's important you do.

00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,333

Mm.

00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,461

What's your name?

00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,507

Chandler.

00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,051

Chandler?

00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:54,512

What an unusual name.

00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,057

You must have had terribly

fascinating parents.

00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:00,184

Oh, they're a hoot.

00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:04,063

And who is your friend?

00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:07,108

I'm Monica.

00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:10,945

- Monica. Where are you from?

- New York.

00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:14,032

I'm not very fond of New York.

00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:16,784

Queens, I like.

00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,371

Ooh, what is this...

00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:24,292

...sparkling something, honey, huh?

00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,793

[AUDIENCE OOHING]

00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:28,755

Actually, Monica and I are engaged.

00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,716

Really?

00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:34,135

Congratulations.

00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,679

When's the big day?

00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,433

In two weeks.

00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:43,061

I see.

00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:49,192

Well, I wish you both

a lifetime of happiness.

00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:52,320

So you're bald.

00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,155

Wait, wait.

00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,285

We'd really love it if you could be there.

00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,039

Really?

00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,126

I know it would make me happy...

00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:09,837

...ma'am.

00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:15,009

Then I wouldn't miss it for the world.

00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:19,013

Oh, I'm getting all misty here. Ha!

00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:22,225

You'd think I was having my legs waxed

or something.

00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,690

- You okay?

- Yeah.

00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:32,151

Thanks for making me do this.

00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:37,240

Before we go on with the show,

I want to say to the bride and groom...

00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:40,326

...how lucky they are to have

found each other.

00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:44,080

In every life a little rain must fall.

00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,623

Fortunately...

00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,792

...in my life...

00:18:51,421 --> 00:18:53,422

[SINGING]

It's raining men

00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,258

CHORUS:

Hallelujah

00:18:55,425 --> 00:18:58,845

- It's raining men, uh-huh

- Amen

00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:06,018

When I was growing up,

I played the one on the far left.

00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:11,774

CHORUS:

And it's raining men, amen

00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,943

[CAR HORNS HONKING]

00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:19,448

Remind me to introduce you to someone.

00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:21,159

- Who?

- Fourth gear.

00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:23,494

[POLICE SIREN WAILING]

00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,038

What?

00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:28,457

What does he want?

I wasn't doing anything.

00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:33,337

Maybe he saw your hands slip briefly

from the 10 and 2:00 position.

00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:40,052

Maybe it's, uh, Sergeant Sagittarius

coming back to flirt some more.

00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,265

It's a different guy.

00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:45,683

[ROSS SIGHS]

00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:51,105

- Good evening, officer.

- Do you know how fast you were going?

00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:55,109

Uh, no, I don't, but it could not

have been more than 60.

00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,069

You're right. It was 37.

00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:58,738

[RACHEL LAUGHS]

00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:05,286

You're not ticketing me

for driving too slow, are you?

00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:07,205

That's right.

00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,632

You know, officer, I, uh...

00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:21,552

I had the weirdest dream last night.

00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,971

Oh, my God!

00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,015

Your license, please.

00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:27,516

[CHUCKLES]

00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:31,020

You don't want to hear about my dream...

00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,772

...Officer...

00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,357

...Pretty?

00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,528

It's Petty.

00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:43,574

I'll be right back with your ticket.

00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:49,205

- You have a son.

- I know. I know.

00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:58,422

- Feel better?

- Yeah. Much. Heh.

00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,258

Listen, uh...

00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:05,763

Not that I'm insecure about

my manhood or anything, but, uh...

00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:08,683

...I need to hook up with

a woman right now.

00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:12,019

- I understand.

- Yeah, okay.

00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:18,651

- Hey. Hi.

- Hi.

00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:21,404

You look familiar. Do I know you?

00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:22,905

I don't think so.

00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:25,491

Maybe it's because I'm on television.

00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:31,497

- I'm an actor on Days ofour Lives.

- Wow. Really?

00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,500

- Four-fifty, please.

- Oh, let me get this.

00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:46,721

These are for you.

00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:57,273

[English - US - SDH]