Эпизод со свадьбой Моники и Чендлера, Часть 2

00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:07,006

I know. Monica's gonna have a baby.

00:00:07,215 --> 00:00:09,967

Can this count as her "something new"?

00:00:10,885 --> 00:00:12,261

Oh, my God.

00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:18,350

Do you think this is why Chandler took off?

00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:22,855

She had to have just taken it.

I took out the trash last night.

00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:25,566

It's turning into the worst wedding ever.

00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:30,279

The bride's pregnant, the groom's missing

and I'm holding this.

00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:35,951

Phoebe, we cannot tell anyone about this.

00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:38,203

- Right. Yeah.

- Okay?

00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:41,874

Do you know what kind

of birth control she uses?

00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,125

No. Why?

00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:47,379

Just for the future.

This is hardly a commercial for it.

00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:10,277

Anything?

00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:13,822

No. I talked to Joey.

He hasn't heard from him.

00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,658

I talked to Chandler's parents again.

00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:18,869

- You said he was missing?

- No.

00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,246

It seemed like I called to chat.

00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:24,625

Pretty sure they both think I'm interested.

00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:27,294

- We've got to tell her.

- No, we can't.

00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:29,797

She'll start getting ready soon.

00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:34,301

Can't you stall her?

I'll go to the places I went last night.

00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:35,803

How much time?

00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:38,722

How long before she has to get ready?

00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,474

- One hour.

- Give me two.

00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:42,810

Then why do you ask?

00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,647

- Wish me luck.

- I'm going with you.

00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:48,398

Why?

00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:52,653

You're tired. You looked all night.

And clearly, you suck at this.

00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,114

See you later.

00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:57,074

Wait, do you know how

you're gonna stall her?

00:01:57,283 --> 00:02:00,577

- I'll figure something out.

- Okay, good luck.

00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:06,416

Let's start with my makeup

and then do my hair.

00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:10,504

Okay. But before you do that,

I need you to talk to me.

00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:12,506

About what?

00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:18,554

I'm never gonna get married.

00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:21,723

You will. The right guy's around the corner.

00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,184

Okay, are we done with that?

00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,687

No, I'm serious.

00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:32,151

Maybe I should just forget about it.

Become a lesbian or something.

00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,362

Any woman would be lucky to have you.

00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:39,783

Maybe I'd feel better if I slept with Joey.

00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,911

Rachel? Are you okay?

00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:51,003

Excuse me, Aaron? I have

a little problem with the schedule.

00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:56,049

I wasn't supposed to work today.

I have a wedding that I have to be at.

00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:59,136

It's my best friend's, and I'm officiating...

00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:01,305

...so I really can't work past 4.

00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:05,809

You've gotta stay until the end.

We can't stop filming just for you.

00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,770

It's not like it's your wedding.

00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,981

I'm having surgery.

00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,483

What?

00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:17,779

I made up the wedding,

because I didn't want you to worry.

00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,157

But I'm having surgery today.

00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:21,992

What kind of surgery?

00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:25,037

Transplant.

00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,790

You're supposed to work on Monday.

00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:31,960

Hair transplant.

00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:34,504

But you're not bald.

00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:36,882

It's not on my head.

00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:45,224

There's nothing I can do.

You'll probably be out by 4 anyway.

00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:49,895

We've got one scene. It's just you

and Richard, and he's a pro.

00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,189

You'll be fine.

00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,066

Morning, Richard.

00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:57,319

Hey, you're here. Great. Let's go, buddy.

00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,905

We got a scene to shoot.

00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:04,284

I'm wearing two belts.

00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:09,039

- Are you drunk?

- No.

00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,041

Yes, you are.

00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:12,834

All right.

00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,257

So this is your office?

00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:22,219

How'd you guys find me?

I knew I should've hid at the gym.

00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:26,306

- What the hell are you doing?

- Panicking.

00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:31,228

And using the Internet to try to prove

that I'm related to Monica.

00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,024

- How is she?

ROSS: She doesn't know you're gone.

00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:39,903

And she doesn't have to know.

Come on, we're going home.

00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,489

- I can't do that.

- Why not?

00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:45,867

If I go home, we're gonna become the Bings.

00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,828

I can't be the Bings.

00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:49,538

What's wrong with it?

00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:51,748

The Bings have bad marriages.

00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,668

They yell, fight, and use the pool boy...

00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:57,296

...as a pawn in their sexual games.

00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:03,093

Have you ever put on a black dress

and asked me up to your hotel room?

00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:07,597

- No.

- Then you are neither of your parents.

00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:13,645

It's not just their marriage.

Look at yours. Look at everybody's.

00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,898

Only Paul Newman can make marriage work.

00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:18,984

And I am no Paul Newman.

00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:24,197

I don't race cars or make popcorn.

None of my proceeds go to charity.

00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:26,283

But look, Chandler...

00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:31,413

...right now no one has

a lower opinion of you than I do.

00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:35,834

But I totally believe you can do this.

00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:40,047

I want to. I love her so much, but I'm afraid...

00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:42,257

Ahem. It's too huge.

00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:44,509

You're right. It is huge.

00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:48,263

So let's take it just a little bit at a time.

00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:51,600

Forget getting married for a sec.

00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:55,812

Can you just come home and take a shower?

00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,065

That's not scary, right?

00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:00,859

Depends on what you mean by "we."

00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:05,238

The nights are the hardest.

00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:09,701

But then the day comes...

00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:14,039

...and that's every bit as hard as the night.

00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:18,251

- Then the night comes...

- Days and nights are hard, I get it.

00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:22,422

I have to start getting ready.

I'm getting married today.

00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:25,425

I know. At dusk.

00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,345

That's such a hard time for me.

00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:32,557

I'm gonna put makeup on.

We have to be there in an hour.

00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,142

- Wait.

- What?

00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,561

Let's go to lunch.

00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:39,022

I can't go to lunch.

00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:40,982

Right.

00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,445

Oh, good God, I've fallen down.

00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,825

What's going on?

00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,993

Okay.

00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,121

All right, honey, listen.

00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:59,918

When I tell you what I'm

about to tell you, remember...

00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:03,713

...that we're all here for you,

and we love you.

00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:06,133

Okay, you're really freaking me out.

00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:10,470

We can't find Chandler...

00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,390

His vest.

00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,268

We can't find Chandler's vest.

00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:18,562

How can that be? Wait, are you serious?

00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:22,065

Found the vest.

00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:25,610

We'll have to keep an eye on it,

make sure we don't lose it again.

00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:27,237

Ah.

00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:31,116

Oh, wow. Okay, don't

scare me like that, okay?

00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:35,787

For a minute, I was like,

"Oh, my God. The worst has happened."

00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,720

So you two were married, huh?

00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,391

What happened, you just drift apart?

00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:00,770

Here comes the bride.

00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,814

[PHOEBE GASPS]

00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:06,443

Oh, my God, Monica.

00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:09,446

I want to wear this every day.

00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,698

You look so beautiful.

00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,784

I'm so happy for me.

00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,162

[PHONE RINGS]

00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:21,875

- Hello?

- Did Chandler show up yet?

00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:25,587

- We got him back. Everything's fine.

- Damn it.

00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:28,340

- Where are you?

- I'm still on the set.

00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:31,635

The wedding is in less than an hour.

00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:36,640

I'm sorry. The guy's drunk.

They won't let me go until we get it.

00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:40,435

Oh, my God. I'm gonna

have to find another minister.

00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:43,271

No, I'm the minister.

00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:47,609

Put them both on the phone

and I'll marry them right now.

00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:49,236

Joey, I have to go.

00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:53,114

Don't hang up on me. I'll marry you

and me right now. I have the power.

00:08:57,286 --> 00:09:00,497

There you go. You put on a tuxedo.

00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,124

That wasn't scary, was it?

00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:05,669

No.

00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,922

I'm telling you, just a little bit at a time.

00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:12,175

Okay. What's the next little bit?

00:09:12,426 --> 00:09:14,427

- Getting married.

- Oh, ah.

00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:19,558

You can do that too.

Just like you've done everything else.

00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:25,313

- Yeah, you're right. I can do that.

- Yeah.

00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:29,276

- Excuse me for a minute.

- Where you going?

00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:33,113

I'm not gonna run away.

I just want some fresh air.

00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,699

- Okay.

- Okay.

00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:46,751

Oh, fresh air.

00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:52,716

RACHEL: Cover for me.

PHOEBE: Maybe you overreacted.

00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,718

RACHEL:

We gotta do something.

00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:59,514

Joey won't make it,

so I'll look around for other weddings.

00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:04,269

Don't tell them Monica's pregnant,

because they frown on that.

00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,770

Okay.

00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:21,578

"Anastassakis Papasifakis wedding."

Excellent.

00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:25,415

Congratulations.

00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:27,584

Mazel tov.

00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:29,794

Hi. Oh, great hat.

00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:34,924

I need you to perform another wedding.

Can you do that?

00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:38,053

I don't know. Are they Greek Orthodox?

00:10:38,262 --> 00:10:39,846

Yeah. Yeah.

00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:44,601

They're my friends, Monica Stephanopolis.

00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:49,105

And Chandler Acidophilus.

00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:56,196

Hi. Hi.

00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:58,948

Hi.

00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,037

Has anyone seen Chandler?

00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:07,248

- I thought he was with you.

- He was with me.

00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,210

We're playing a game. Hide-and-seek.

00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:13,296

You can't ask us, son. That's cheating.

00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:21,805

You're right.

Thanks for keeping me honest, Dad.

00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:25,809

He can't come here and see

the bride in her wedding dress.

00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:30,313

When we got married,

I saw the groom in the wedding dress.

00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:34,651

That was after the wedding.

It's not bad luck then.

00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:37,028

Honey, it isn't good luck.

00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:44,494

Oh, my God. Monica.

00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,454

I know.

00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:50,917

- How's Chandler doing?

- Great.

00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:54,921

He's doing great.

Don't you worry about Chandler.

00:11:56,507 --> 00:12:00,009

- Phoebe, can I see you for a second?

- Yeah.

00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,809

- What's going on?

- Chandler's gone again.

00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:13,481

Why would you play hide-and-seek

with someone you know is a flight risk?

00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:20,989

Aaron, you gotta let me go.

The guy's hammered.

00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:26,119

I'm sorry. As long as he's here

and conscious, we're still shooting.

00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:39,257

You wouldn't happen to have

a very big fork?

00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:43,553

So I just talked to the director.

00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,598

That's it. We're done for the day.

00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:49,184

We finished the scene?

00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:54,063

- Yeah. You were wonderful.

- As were you.

00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:57,025

So I got your car. It's right outside.

00:12:57,234 --> 00:12:59,778

Thank you. You're welcome.

00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:04,574

No, we gotta go. Come on. Here we go.

00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:08,328

Is that my ass?

00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,337

- There he is!

- What?

00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,339

Hey! Whoa!

00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,175

You won't get away this time!

00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:25,553

Unless you want

that ass-kicking we talked about.

00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:29,057

- Ross.

- Hi-yah!

00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:34,813

I'm serious.

You're not walking out on my sister.

00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,731

That's right. I'm not.

00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:40,610

- Then where have you been?

- I know about Monica.

00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:43,780

- You know?

- What?

00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:47,283

- I heard you and Rachel talking.

- About what?

00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:48,618

You don't know?

00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:52,205

If somebody doesn't tell me right now...

00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:54,207

What, you'll "hi-yah"?

00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,086

Monica's pregnant.

00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,756

Oh, my God.

00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:05,635

Oh, my God. And you're not freaking out?

00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:09,806

I was. Then I went to

the gift shop for cigarettes.

00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:13,309

- Cigarettes?

- Big picture, please.

00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:19,232

So I was in the gift shop,

that's when I saw this...

00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:25,321

And I thought anything that can

fit into this can't be scary.

00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:29,409

You obviously didn't see Chuckie III.

00:14:30,077 --> 00:14:33,454

But come on, look at how cute

and small this is.

00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:38,459

So I got it to give Monica,

so she'd know I was okay.

00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:40,086

Dude.

00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:43,631

Way to go, son. I knew you'd find him.

00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,310

Our little boy is getting married.

00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:58,438

Look at you, so handsome.

00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,231

You look beautiful, Mom.

00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:01,858

[CHARLES CLEARS THROAT]

00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:06,362

You look beautiful too, Dad.

00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,784

I love you both.

00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:14,078

I'm so glad you're here.

00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,086

Are you Chandler?

00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,297

Are you Joey?

00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:32,221

- Huh. This is nice.

- What?

00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:37,018

I've never walked down the aisle

knowing it can't end in divorce.

00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:56,204

I wish your grandmother

had lived to see this.

00:15:56,413 --> 00:16:00,792

- She's right there.

- Not that old crone. My mother.

00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,631

Congratulations, darling.

00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:08,925

We love you, sweetheart.

00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:14,973

You look beautiful.

00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:18,309

- Is this new?

- Not now.

00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:25,149

- Who's this?

- I'm Father Karabasos.

00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,151

He's Greek Orthodox.

00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:29,779

As are you.

00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:33,574

PRIEST:

Let us begin.

00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:35,952

Dearly beloved...

00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,121

That's my line.

00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:45,503

I can take it from here. Thanks.

00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:51,467

Dearly beloved, I'm sorry I'm a little late.

00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,889

You may be confused by this now...

00:16:57,141 --> 00:17:01,060

...but you won't be

Memorial Day weekend, 2002.

00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:07,567

Let's get started before

the groom takes off again.

00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:16,492

We are gathered here today...

00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,203

...to join this man...

00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:23,791

...and this woman

in the bonds of holy matrimony.

00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:28,838

I've known Monica and Chandler

for a long time, and I can't...

00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:33,760

...imagine two people more perfect

for each other.

00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:41,309

And now, as I've left my notes

in my dressing room...

00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:45,688

...we shall proceed to the vows. Monica?

00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:50,068

- He took off?

- Go on. Go on.

00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:59,452

Chandler, for so long...

00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:03,623

...I wondered if I would ever find my prince.

00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,792

My soul mate.

00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:08,836

Then three years ago, at another wedding...

00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,672

...I turned to a friend for comfort.

00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:17,136

And instead, I found everything that

I'd been looking for my whole life.

00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,766

And now...

00:18:22,851 --> 00:18:24,685

...here we are...

00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:28,022

...with our future before us.

00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,984

And I only want to spend it with you.

00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:37,406

My prince. My soul mate.

00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,700

My friend.

00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:44,914

Unless you don't want to.

00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:48,876

You go.

00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:51,337

Chandler?

00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:54,715

No, that's okay.

00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:03,474

I thought this would be the most

difficult thing I ever had to do.

00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:09,522

But when I saw you walking down that aisle,

I realized it's simple.

00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,442

I love you.

00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:20,575

Any surprises that come our way,

it's okay, because I will always love you.

00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:27,039

You are the person I was meant

to spend the rest of my life with.

00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,542

You want to know if I'm sure?

00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:35,965

You may now kiss the bride.

00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,510

So...

00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:43,431

I guess by the powers vested in me

by the State of New York...

00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:46,142

...and the Internet guys...

00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:52,481

...I now pronounce you husband and wife.

00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:55,735

Oh, wait. Do you take each other?

00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:58,237

- I do.

- I do.

00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,031

Yeah, you do.

00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:02,617

Rings?

00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:04,577

Oh, crap.

00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:08,122

Let's do the rings.

00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:21,886

We good? Yeah? Good?

00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:24,847

Once again...

00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:28,643

...I pronounce you husband and wife.

00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,062

Now kiss her again.

00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,954

I love you.

00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:50,331

And I know about the baby.

00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,251

- What baby?

- Our baby.

00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,211

We have a baby?

00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:59,215

Phoebe found your pregnancy test.

00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:01,592

I didn't take a pregnancy test.

00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,636

Then who did?

00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:06,931

Look at them.

00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:10,059

And they're gonna have a baby.

00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:13,479

Uh-huh.

00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:54,103

[English - US - SDH]