Эпизод с вечеринкой на Хэллоуин
Описание
На вечеринке в честь Хэллоуина у Моники и Чендлера Фиби случайно встречает жениха своей сестры, Эрика (Шон Пенн). Фиби испытывает к нему влечение, и они сближаются, обсуждая ложь и плохое поведение Урсулы. Росс и Чендлер безуспешно борются на руках. Росс жалуется, что его нелепый костюм «Спадника» делает его похожим на фекалии. Рейчел, испытывая материнские чувства, просит раздать конфеты детям, пришедшим за сладостями, но вскоре понимает, что на самом деле она не такая уж и материнская. Специальный гость: Шон Пенн в роли Эрика
Субтитры
eng__.srt
eng__.srt
00:00:05,463 --> 00:00:08,674
I know it's last minute, but we've
decided to have a Halloween party.
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,009
- Oh, good!
- Great!
00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:12,636
- And everybody has to wear costumes.
- Oh, I don't know...
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,388
[MUTTERING]
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:16,348
Come on, it'll be fun.
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:21,562
Uh, I'll be there. I have to wear a
costume to my classes that day anyway.
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,522
Tell me you're not gonna dress
like a dinosaur.
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,441
Pfft, heh.
00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:27,359
Not two years in a row.
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:32,781
- I'll come, but I'm not dressing up.
- You have to.
00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:38,746
No. Halloween is stupid. Dressing up,
pretending to be someone you're not.
00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:40,706
You're an actor.
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,959
Ross, are you gonna bring Mona?
00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:47,046
- Yeah. Yeah, I will.
- The girl from their wedding?
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:48,464
- Yeah.
- Wow, hey.
00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:52,718
If she needs any ideas for costumes,
she could be a, uh, bikini model...
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,596
...or a slutty nurse,
or a sexy cheerleader.
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:59,016
Or, ooh, ooh. Leatherface
from Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:02,686
No, no, no! Slutty Leatherface.
00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:06,982
Wasn't Joey hitting on her
at the wedding too?
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:10,194
That's right, he was hitting on her.
00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:15,115
And I got her. I guess
the better man won. Heh.
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:18,077
Please don't take her from me.
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:02,830
- Ursula!
- Oh. Heh.
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:05,582
Wait. It's me, Phoebe.
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:08,502
Oh, I thought there was a mirror there.
Okay. Bye.
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:10,629
Wait a second!
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,923
Um, so, what's new with you?
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:16,844
Um, nothing. I mean,
I'm getting married next week.
00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:18,762
- What?
- Yeah, yeah.
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:22,057
It's gonna be a small ceremony.
Just family.
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,517
His.
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,185
Huh.
00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:26,687
Okay.
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,522
I'm really happy for you.
00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:33,735
Wait. If, um... If you want to come,
I guess that'd be okay.
00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:35,529
- Really?
- Sure, why not?
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,990
You could be my "sister" for the day.
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,868
Yeah, heh, okay.
00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:43,745
Um, you know, my friends are having
a Halloween party tonight...
00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:46,415
...at my old apartment,
so you could come.
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,834
Maybe I could meet the guy
you're marrying.
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:52,087
Well, I'm supposed
to be working tonight.
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:55,340
I'm supposed to be working now,
so who cares!
00:02:56,009 --> 00:03:00,345
- By the way, it's a costume party.
- Oh, okay, so that's why you're...
00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,764
No.
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,850
But thanks.
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,358
- Hi.
- You're supposed to wear a costume.
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,569
I am. I am a woman...
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:18,780
...who spent a lot of money on a dress
and she wants to wear it...
00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:21,825
...because soon
she won't be able to fit into it.
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,911
- Oh. I'm Catwoman.
- Ah.
00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:26,288
Who wants the dress
when you're too big for it.
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:27,789
Okay.
00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:28,999
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:31,335
KIDS: Trick or treat!
- Oh! Can I give out candy?
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:33,045
I really want to be with kids.
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,465
Ever since I got pregnant,
I have the strongest maternal instincts.
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,635
KIDS: Trick or treat!
- Just a minute!
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,476
We... Aah! Look at you guys!
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:52,481
- Wow! You are a very scary witch.
- Thank you.
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:56,360
- And you are a very funny clown.
- Thank you.
00:03:56,527 --> 00:03:57,903
And you...
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,280
...are so in style right now.
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,408
You know, I work at Ralph Lauren.
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:07,412
The whole fall line has got
this equestrian theme going on.
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:11,208
- Did you see the cover of Vogue...?
- Could I just have the candy?
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,213
Yeah. Sure.
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,807
Ah, Catwoman. So we meet again.
00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:30,060
So we do, Supergirl.
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,230
It's me, Phoebe.
00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:38,235
Monica, can I talk to you
for a second?
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:46,076
Listen, I appreciate
you getting the costume.
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,494
Oh, you did this to him?
00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:50,539
What? I thought he'd love it.
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,791
His favorite book
was The Velveteen Rabbit.
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,419
The Velveteen Rabbit
was brown and white.
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,339
It was either a pink bunny,
or no bunny at all.
00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:02,134
No bunny at all.
Always no bunny at all!
00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:07,097
- Hey.
- You didn't dress up either?
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:09,975
Yes, I did. I'm Chandler.
00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:16,648
Dude, what happened?
00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:20,569
- How is that me?
- Okay, ahem.
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:21,737
I'm Chandler.
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:22,946
[GROANS]
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:26,658
- Ha, ha! That is so you!
- Ha-ha-ha.
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:29,911
- When have I ever done that?
- When have I ever done that?
00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:31,747
[GROANS]
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,916
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:37,044
GIRL: Trick or treat.
- Oh!
00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:43,842
Oh, you're just the prettiest ballerina
ever I've ever seen.
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,053
Thank you.
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:49,014
Oh, wow. That deserves another candy.
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,433
- Thank you.
- Ha-ha-ha.
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:57,105
I have to say,
that earns "two-two" pieces of candy.
00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:59,066
I love you!
00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:01,651
Oh! Aw...
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:03,779
Oh, honey, here, take it all.
00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:11,370
Monica? We need more candy.
00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:14,414
- What? There's only been four kids.
- I know.
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:18,168
But one said she loved me,
so I gave her everything.
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,337
No wonder you're pregnant.
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:24,883
- Hey.
- Hey.
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:31,098
- What are you supposed to be?
- Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik?
00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:37,646
Well, I'm a potato. Or a "spud"...
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,899
...and these are my antenna.
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:44,194
So Sputnik becomes?
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:51,827
Spud-nik! Spud-nik.
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,081
Wow, I don't have
the worst costume anymore.
00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:01,503
Hey, all right! Ross came as doodie.
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:07,342
- No, I'm not doodie.
- No, space-doodie.
00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:17,853
- God!
- Hey, sweetie.
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,983
- Aren't you gonna give me a kiss?
- Okay, I will.
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,485
But right after, you have to tell me
who you are.
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:28,989
- Ursula?
- Ursula's fiancé?
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,866
- Oh, my God. You're the sister.
- Yeah.
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:34,536
- I just slapped my future sister-in-law's ass.
- Yeah.
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:38,165
I'm an idiot. Is your mother here?
I could give her a slap on the butt.
00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:41,960
- My mother killed herself.
- See, and I knew that.
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,047
Now I'm sweating.
00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:51,761
I'm really sweating. Now I'm saying look
at me, I'm even sweatier. I should go.
00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:53,805
No. We'll start over.
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,766
- Hi, I'm Phoebe.
- Eric.
00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:59,728
- Why are you looking at me like that?
- The sweat's in my eyes.
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,563
- It's burning.
- Okay.
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,023
- Thank you.
- There.
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:06,067
- So, what are you?
- I don't think they have a name for it.
00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:08,403
I get nervous, and I sweat like crazy.
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:15,494
- No, I meant your costume.
- Oh, um, I'm a solar system.
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,913
My student's helped me.
I teach second grade.
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,916
- I love the second grade.
- Really?
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:24,127
It's better than first grade,
where you don't know what's going on.
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,922
And definitely better than third grade.
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:30,759
You know, with all the politics
and the mind games.
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:35,764
- So, what do you do?
- I'm a masseuse, by day.
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:40,727
- You don't have to stand here with me.
- I'm having fun.
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:46,149
- I'm really excited for you and Ursula.
- I feel very lucky. She's great.
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:50,445
- She's the most beautiful woman ever.
- Thank you.
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:58,828
- Hey, Joey?
- Yeah?
00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:02,374
- You read comic books, right?
- Exclusively.
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:06,670
Who do you think would win in a fight,
Catwoman or Supergirl?
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:09,089
- Catwoman, hands down.
- Yeah.
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:12,592
Between you and Phoebe?
I'd give the edge to Phoebe.
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,719
- What? Really?
- You kidding?
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:20,642
Phoebe lived on the street, okay?
Plus, she's got this crazy temper. She...
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,978
She's not right behind me, is she?
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,105
- No, you're fine.
- Okay.
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,483
- Do you think I could take Rachel?
- I'm not sure.
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,986
What? Come on, I am tough!
00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:34,072
Punch me here, as hard as you can!
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,617
Relax. What are you taking this
so seriously for? It doesn't matter.
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:42,831
Really? What would you say if I told you
Ross or Chandler could beat you up?
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,208
I would say, "Woman, please."
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:50,547
Hey, Ursula's fiancé is really sweet.
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:53,258
He's a teacher,
he does volunteer work.
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:59,222
Normally, I don't like sweaty guys.
But I could just mop him up.
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:02,684
- Oh, my God, Phoebe?
- What?
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,894
You're getting a crush
on your sister's fiancé.
00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:06,605
No, I'm not, you are!
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:10,150
Here comes the temper.
00:10:11,485 --> 00:10:13,028
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:15,488
- Trick or treat.
- Hi.
00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:19,826
Hi. Know what? We're out of candy.
But someone went to get some.
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:24,914
And I've been giving out money,
but I'm out of that too.
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:27,459
- Can I write you a check?
- Okay.
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:31,463
- Okay. What's your name?
- Lelani Mayolanofavich.
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:37,260
Okay, I'm just gonna write this out
to "cash."
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:41,723
- Hi.
- Hi, Mona.
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,892
- Oh, hey.
- Hi.
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:47,562
Joey's gonna be thrilled. He was hoping
you'd come by as a slutty nurse.
00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:51,274
Um, actually, I'm just a nurse.
00:10:53,235 --> 00:10:56,780
You'd think that would embarrass me,
but, you see, I'm maxed out.
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,617
- Hey, you made it.
- Hi! Wait.
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:05,163
- You're, um... You're a potato?
- Well, I'm a spud?
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,956
And the antenna...
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:09,751
- Oh, my God, you're Spud-nik!
- Yes!
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,212
Marry her.
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,632
Okay, here's a good one for you.
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,593
Who do you think would win a fight
between Ross and Chandler?
00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:21,262
I can't answer that.
Chandler's my husband.
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,932
- So Ross?
- Yeah.
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:27,435
- Hey, beautiful.
- Hello, handsome.
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:28,937
Oh, God.
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:33,942
Aw, look at you two.
So when did you guys meet?
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,569
- Two weeks ago.
- Two weeks, that's it?
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:40,573
I know. It sounds crazy, and it's not
like me to do something impulsive.
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,660
But she's so perfect,
and we have so much in common.
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:44,911
Oh, really?
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,497
- We're both teachers.
- Huh?
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:52,377
- And we were both in the Peace Corps.
- Peace Corps, really?
00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:57,799
In fact, when we were
building houses in Uruguay...
00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:01,386
...we were just two towns apart
and we never met.
00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:05,515
Yeah. It wasn't a town when I got
there, but it was a town when I left.
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:10,854
- Shall we get me really drunk?
- Sure.
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,482
Ha, ha. Ugh.
00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:18,695
Howdy, doodie.
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:20,822
That's funny, yeah.
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:25,869
You're the funniest man here in a
bunny costume his wife made him wear.
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:30,540
Relax, man. Relax.
You're looking a little flushed.
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:38,339
Hey, I think we might find out
the answer to our question.
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:41,634
- What question?
- Who could kick whose ass in a fight...
00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:42,886
...you or Ross?
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:47,056
- There's no question.
- So you think Ross too?
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:52,353
- You picked Ross?
- Ross is really strong.
00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:56,691
He's the strongest out of all three
of you. Except for Joey.
00:12:57,985 --> 00:13:02,864
- I can not believe you didn't pick me.
- In her defense, she's right. I am stronger.
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,116
I would destroy you.
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:09,996
Oh, really? You think you're stronger?
Why don't you prove it?
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:13,666
Oh, I'll prove it.
I'll prove it like a theorem!
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:17,128
All right! Okay, stop it. Stop it!
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,380
Stop! No one's gonna fight.
00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:23,218
People came to see a fight,
let's give them what they came for!
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:29,682
- You guys could arm-wrestle.
- Yeah, listen to the slutty nurse.
00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:33,394
- You're going down.
- Oh, yeah? You're going further down.
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:34,771
Downtown!
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,899
Seriously, guys,
the trash talk is embarrassing.
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:49,911
Oh, Gunther, you brought candy.
Thank you so much for picking this up.
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,997
- You are so sweet.
- Really?
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:57,210
Someday, you are gonna make some man
the luckiest guy in the world.
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:58,920
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,089
- Got to go.
BOY: Trick or treat.
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:05,176
Hi! Wow! There you go.
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:08,721
My friend Lewis told me
you were giving out money.
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:13,309
Oh, yeah, we were,
but, um, now we've got candy.
00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:16,604
I'd rather have the money.
00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:20,650
Well, that's not your choice.
Happy Halloween!
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,193
This isn't fair.
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:25,780
Is it fair that all you did was put on a cape
and I gotta give you stuff?
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,949
Shut up!
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,742
You shut up!
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:35,790
- You can't tell me to shut up.
- Uh, I think I just did.
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:38,376
And uh-oh, here it comes again. Shut up!
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,546
- Uh, Rach.
- No, I got it. I'm good. I got it.
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:46,134
Wait, I had one more thing to say.
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:47,927
Oh, right. Shut up.
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,722
You're a mean old woman.
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,765
Oh, wait! No. Shut... Don't cry!
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:55,059
Let me get my checkbook!
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,395
Honey, you don't have to do this.
00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:00,440
It's the strength you have inside
that means the most to me.
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:04,903
You're loyal, you're honest
and you have integrity.
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:08,156
That's the strength I want
in the man I love.
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:11,451
That means nothing to me. Come on!
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,077
Ugh.
00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:15,204
- Hi, liar.
- Hey.
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:18,499
You know, the only reason
he's marrying you...
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:21,878
...is because he thinks the things
you were saying were true.
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,631
- They could be true.
- But they're not.
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,216
Yeah. It's a fine line, huh?
00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:31,012
- Why are you lying to him?
- I don't know.
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:36,017
He said he did this stuff, I said I did it
too. He got so excited, it was fun.
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,310
ERIC:
Honey?
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:42,357
It's a disgusting habit,
and I want you to quit now!
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:45,193
She's helped so many people
quit smoking.
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,695
URSULA:
We'd better get going.
00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:50,823
- You have a church group meeting.
- Right.
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:58,081
- Well, it was nice meeting you.
- You too.
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:02,961
And, Ursula, it was really nice
meeting you tonight!
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:06,130
Pheebs, come on! Bunny versus Doodie.
We're waiting!
00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:12,595
Okay, guys. One match,
winner take all.
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,265
Wait. What does the winner get?
00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:18,309
- Pride.
- And dignity.
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:21,187
Heh. Okay, if you say so.
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,398
All right, ready, set, go!
00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:24,941
[BOTH GRUNTING]
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,734
JOEY:
Come on!
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,361
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:38,830
- Wow, they're both really strong.
- Or equally weak.
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:42,834
Oh, God. Chandler's making
his sex face.
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:53,720
- So you getting tired?
- No. I could do this all day.
00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:56,264
Yeah. Me too.
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:01,561
- Getting a little tired, though.
- God, I'm exhausted.
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:07,859
This is starting to look bad for me,
okay? Mona's standing right there.
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:13,114
Oh, God, she's talking to Joey!
You've got to let me win!
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:16,075
No way. Let me win.
My wife thinks I'm a wimp.
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:17,827
Hey, at least you have a wife.
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:21,622
I keep getting divorces
and knocking people up.
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:26,294
And I'm dressed as doodie.
00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:32,300
- You're Spud-nik.
- Come on, who we kidding? I'm doodie.
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:36,095
- Please? She's watching.
- Ugh.
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:39,474
- Fine.
- Thanks.
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:40,683
[BOTH GROAN]
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,061
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yeah!
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:44,812
Yay!
00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,731
My hero!
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,232
You're a weird lady.
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:55,448
- Hey, Ursula said she left her purse.
- Oh.
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:59,410
What a relief. It has the numbers
of the people in her prayer chain.
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,204
I'm sure it does. Yeah. Yeah.
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,748
Well, guess I'll see you at the wedding.
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:10,046
Um, listen. I don't think I'm gonna
make it to the wedding.
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:14,008
- I wish you all the luck in the world.
- We'll be okay.
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:18,513
It's so perfect,
and she's been saving herself for me.
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:24,310
- I can't let you do this. She's lying to you.
- What?
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:28,689
She is lying. And I bet
I could prove it. Excuse me.
00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:32,193
Okay. Yeah, not a prayer chain.
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:36,322
But what looks like a detailed drawing
of a bank floor plan.
00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:42,995
Here's the name tag from the restaurant
where she works as a waitress.
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:45,540
Not a teacher, a waitress.
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:48,668
Here's her driver's license.
She always lies about this.
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,963
- How old did she say she was?
- She told me she was 25.
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,882
Aw. I almost don't want to show you this.
00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:59,428
Just remember, I'm a minute younger.
00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:03,641
I am so stupid.
00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:06,811
Of course she's lying.
She's not a teacher.
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:12,483
There's no such thing as a "Top Secret
School for the Children of Spies."
00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:16,863
No, you're not stupid.
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:18,823
I'm not smart.
00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:27,915
I just wanted so much
to be impulsive for once.
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,293
- To be romantic.
- That's good.
00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:33,838
You should be impulsive
and you should be romantic.
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,215
Just, you did it with the wrong person.
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:42,722
- What?
- It's weird, two people look so alike.
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,515
And so different.
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:49,145
URSULA:
Eric! Let's go!
00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:54,192
- Better go deal with it.
- Yeah, you should.
00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:02,783
URSULA:
Hurry up! I gotta pray!
00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:14,086
- Hey.
- Hey.
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:17,381
Well, I had to give the kid
50 bucks to stop crying.
00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:21,719
- That's not so bad.
- I also had to go to a couple houses...
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,763
...as his girlfriend.
00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:27,141
Ugh, I am just awful with children.
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:31,729
Come on, you're good with kids.
They're just crazy on Halloween.
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,649
They're all greedy,
hopped up on sugar.
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:38,402
- Really? That's all it is?
- Absolutely.
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:45,076
Halloween is the worst. Except
for Christmas. And their birthdays.
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:48,412
They get crazy during the summer too.
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:52,124
And any time they're
hungry or sleepy.
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:54,585
Kids are tough.
Good luck with that. Pfft.
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:02,510
Look, I wanted to tell you,
I'm sorry you lost.
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:06,472
Oh, listen. I got a secret for you.
I let him win.
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,850
- Heh, heh.
- Was that a secret, or a lie?
00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:12,353
- No, I let him... Ross?
- Yeah?
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,730
Would you tell her
I let you win, please?
00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:18,150
Oh, yeah, uh, Chandler let me win.
00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:24,156
No, Chandler's really strong.
Oh, my arm is so sore. Oh, nurse?
00:21:26,201 --> 00:21:29,120
I am strong. I'll show you.
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:30,913
Chandler, please.
00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:32,999
Oh, what's the matter? Are you scared?
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,584
Let's go, big bunny!
00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:39,338
One, two, three. Go!
00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:47,096
I'm gonna kill myself.
00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:54,020
[English - US - SDH]
Скриншоты


























