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На вечеринке в честь Хэллоуина у Моники и Чендлера Фиби случайно встречает жениха своей сестры, Эрика (Шон Пенн). Фиби испытывает к нему влечение, и они сближаются, обсуждая ложь и плохое поведение Урсулы. Росс и Чендлер безуспешно борются на руках. Росс жалуется, что его нелепый костюм «Спадника» делает его похожим на фекалии. Рейчел, испытывая материнские чувства, просит раздать конфеты детям, пришедшим за сладостями, но вскоре понимает, что на самом деле она не такая уж и материнская. Специальный гость: Шон Пенн в роли Эрика

Эпизод с вечеринкой на Хэллоуин

The One with the Halloween Party
Сезон: 08Серия: 06

Описание

На вечеринке в честь Хэллоуина у Моники и Чендлера Фиби случайно встречает жениха своей сестры, Эрика (Шон Пенн). Фиби испытывает к нему влечение, и они сближаются, обсуждая ложь и плохое поведение Урсулы. Росс и Чендлер безуспешно борются на руках. Росс жалуется, что его нелепый костюм «Спадника» делает его похожим на фекалии. Рейчел, испытывая материнские чувства, просит раздать конфеты детям, пришедшим за сладостями, но вскоре понимает, что на самом деле она не такая уж и материнская. Специальный гость: Шон Пенн в роли Эрика

Субтитры

eng__.srt

eng__.srt

00:00:05,463 --> 00:00:08,674

I know it's last minute, but we've

decided to have a Halloween party.

00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,009

- Oh, good!

- Great!

00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:12,636

- And everybody has to wear costumes.

- Oh, I don't know...

00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,388

[MUTTERING]

00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:16,348

Come on, it'll be fun.

00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:21,562

Uh, I'll be there. I have to wear a

costume to my classes that day anyway.

00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,522

Tell me you're not gonna dress

like a dinosaur.

00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,441

Pfft, heh.

00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:27,359

Not two years in a row.

00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:32,781

- I'll come, but I'm not dressing up.

- You have to.

00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:38,746

No. Halloween is stupid. Dressing up,

pretending to be someone you're not.

00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:40,706

You're an actor.

00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,959

Ross, are you gonna bring Mona?

00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:47,046

- Yeah. Yeah, I will.

- The girl from their wedding?

00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:48,464

- Yeah.

- Wow, hey.

00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:52,718

If she needs any ideas for costumes,

she could be a, uh, bikini model...

00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,596

...or a slutty nurse,

or a sexy cheerleader.

00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:59,016

Or, ooh, ooh. Leatherface

from Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:02,686

No, no, no! Slutty Leatherface.

00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:06,982

Wasn't Joey hitting on her

at the wedding too?

00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:10,194

That's right, he was hitting on her.

00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:15,115

And I got her. I guess

the better man won. Heh.

00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:18,077

Please don't take her from me.

00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:02,830

- Ursula!

- Oh. Heh.

00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:05,582

Wait. It's me, Phoebe.

00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:08,502

Oh, I thought there was a mirror there.

Okay. Bye.

00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:10,629

Wait a second!

00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,923

Um, so, what's new with you?

00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:16,844

Um, nothing. I mean,

I'm getting married next week.

00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:18,762

- What?

- Yeah, yeah.

00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:22,057

It's gonna be a small ceremony.

Just family.

00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,517

His.

00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,185

Huh.

00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:26,687

Okay.

00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,522

I'm really happy for you.

00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:33,735

Wait. If, um... If you want to come,

I guess that'd be okay.

00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:35,529

- Really?

- Sure, why not?

00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,990

You could be my "sister" for the day.

00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,868

Yeah, heh, okay.

00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:43,745

Um, you know, my friends are having

a Halloween party tonight...

00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:46,415

...at my old apartment,

so you could come.

00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,834

Maybe I could meet the guy

you're marrying.

00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:52,087

Well, I'm supposed

to be working tonight.

00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:55,340

I'm supposed to be working now,

so who cares!

00:02:56,009 --> 00:03:00,345

- By the way, it's a costume party.

- Oh, okay, so that's why you're...

00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,764

No.

00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,850

But thanks.

00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,358

- Hi.

- You're supposed to wear a costume.

00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,569

I am. I am a woman...

00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:18,780

...who spent a lot of money on a dress

and she wants to wear it...

00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:21,825

...because soon

she won't be able to fit into it.

00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,911

- Oh. I'm Catwoman.

- Ah.

00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:26,288

Who wants the dress

when you're too big for it.

00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:27,789

Okay.

00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:28,999

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:31,335

KIDS: Trick or treat!

- Oh! Can I give out candy?

00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:33,045

I really want to be with kids.

00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,465

Ever since I got pregnant,

I have the strongest maternal instincts.

00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,635

KIDS: Trick or treat!

- Just a minute!

00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,476

We... Aah! Look at you guys!

00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:52,481

- Wow! You are a very scary witch.

- Thank you.

00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:56,360

- And you are a very funny clown.

- Thank you.

00:03:56,527 --> 00:03:57,903

And you...

00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,280

...are so in style right now.

00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,408

You know, I work at Ralph Lauren.

00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:07,412

The whole fall line has got

this equestrian theme going on.

00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:11,208

- Did you see the cover of Vogue...?

- Could I just have the candy?

00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,213

Yeah. Sure.

00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,807

Ah, Catwoman. So we meet again.

00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:30,060

So we do, Supergirl.

00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,230

It's me, Phoebe.

00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:38,235

Monica, can I talk to you

for a second?

00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:46,076

Listen, I appreciate

you getting the costume.

00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,494

Oh, you did this to him?

00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:50,539

What? I thought he'd love it.

00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,791

His favorite book

was The Velveteen Rabbit.

00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,419

The Velveteen Rabbit

was brown and white.

00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,339

It was either a pink bunny,

or no bunny at all.

00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:02,134

No bunny at all.

Always no bunny at all!

00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:07,097

- Hey.

- You didn't dress up either?

00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:09,975

Yes, I did. I'm Chandler.

00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:16,648

Dude, what happened?

00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:20,569

- How is that me?

- Okay, ahem.

00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:21,737

I'm Chandler.

00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:22,946

[GROANS]

00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:26,658

- Ha, ha! That is so you!

- Ha-ha-ha.

00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:29,911

- When have I ever done that?

- When have I ever done that?

00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:31,747

[GROANS]

00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,916

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:37,044

GIRL: Trick or treat.

- Oh!

00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:43,842

Oh, you're just the prettiest ballerina

ever I've ever seen.

00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,053

Thank you.

00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:49,014

Oh, wow. That deserves another candy.

00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,433

- Thank you.

- Ha-ha-ha.

00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:57,105

I have to say,

that earns "two-two" pieces of candy.

00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:59,066

I love you!

00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:01,651

Oh! Aw...

00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:03,779

Oh, honey, here, take it all.

00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:11,370

Monica? We need more candy.

00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:14,414

- What? There's only been four kids.

- I know.

00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:18,168

But one said she loved me,

so I gave her everything.

00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,337

No wonder you're pregnant.

00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:24,883

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:31,098

- What are you supposed to be?

- Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik?

00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:37,646

Well, I'm a potato. Or a "spud"...

00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,899

...and these are my antenna.

00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:44,194

So Sputnik becomes?

00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:51,827

Spud-nik! Spud-nik.

00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,081

Wow, I don't have

the worst costume anymore.

00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:01,503

Hey, all right! Ross came as doodie.

00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:07,342

- No, I'm not doodie.

- No, space-doodie.

00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:17,853

- God!

- Hey, sweetie.

00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,983

- Aren't you gonna give me a kiss?

- Okay, I will.

00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,485

But right after, you have to tell me

who you are.

00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:28,989

- Ursula?

- Ursula's fiancé?

00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,866

- Oh, my God. You're the sister.

- Yeah.

00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:34,536

- I just slapped my future sister-in-law's ass.

- Yeah.

00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:38,165

I'm an idiot. Is your mother here?

I could give her a slap on the butt.

00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:41,960

- My mother killed herself.

- See, and I knew that.

00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,047

Now I'm sweating.

00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:51,761

I'm really sweating. Now I'm saying look

at me, I'm even sweatier. I should go.

00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:53,805

No. We'll start over.

00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,766

- Hi, I'm Phoebe.

- Eric.

00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:59,728

- Why are you looking at me like that?

- The sweat's in my eyes.

00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,563

- It's burning.

- Okay.

00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,023

- Thank you.

- There.

00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:06,067

- So, what are you?

- I don't think they have a name for it.

00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:08,403

I get nervous, and I sweat like crazy.

00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:15,494

- No, I meant your costume.

- Oh, um, I'm a solar system.

00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,913

My student's helped me.

I teach second grade.

00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,916

- I love the second grade.

- Really?

00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:24,127

It's better than first grade,

where you don't know what's going on.

00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,922

And definitely better than third grade.

00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:30,759

You know, with all the politics

and the mind games.

00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:35,764

- So, what do you do?

- I'm a masseuse, by day.

00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:40,727

- You don't have to stand here with me.

- I'm having fun.

00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:46,149

- I'm really excited for you and Ursula.

- I feel very lucky. She's great.

00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:50,445

- She's the most beautiful woman ever.

- Thank you.

00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:58,828

- Hey, Joey?

- Yeah?

00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:02,374

- You read comic books, right?

- Exclusively.

00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:06,670

Who do you think would win in a fight,

Catwoman or Supergirl?

00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:09,089

- Catwoman, hands down.

- Yeah.

00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:12,592

Between you and Phoebe?

I'd give the edge to Phoebe.

00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,719

- What? Really?

- You kidding?

00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:20,642

Phoebe lived on the street, okay?

Plus, she's got this crazy temper. She...

00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,978

She's not right behind me, is she?

00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,105

- No, you're fine.

- Okay.

00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,483

- Do you think I could take Rachel?

- I'm not sure.

00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,986

What? Come on, I am tough!

00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:34,072

Punch me here, as hard as you can!

00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,617

Relax. What are you taking this

so seriously for? It doesn't matter.

00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:42,831

Really? What would you say if I told you

Ross or Chandler could beat you up?

00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,208

I would say, "Woman, please."

00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:50,547

Hey, Ursula's fiancé is really sweet.

00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:53,258

He's a teacher,

he does volunteer work.

00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:59,222

Normally, I don't like sweaty guys.

But I could just mop him up.

00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:02,684

- Oh, my God, Phoebe?

- What?

00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,894

You're getting a crush

on your sister's fiancé.

00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:06,605

No, I'm not, you are!

00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:10,150

Here comes the temper.

00:10:11,485 --> 00:10:13,028

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:15,488

- Trick or treat.

- Hi.

00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:19,826

Hi. Know what? We're out of candy.

But someone went to get some.

00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:24,914

And I've been giving out money,

but I'm out of that too.

00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:27,459

- Can I write you a check?

- Okay.

00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:31,463

- Okay. What's your name?

- Lelani Mayolanofavich.

00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:37,260

Okay, I'm just gonna write this out

to "cash."

00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:41,723

- Hi.

- Hi, Mona.

00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,892

- Oh, hey.

- Hi.

00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:47,562

Joey's gonna be thrilled. He was hoping

you'd come by as a slutty nurse.

00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:51,274

Um, actually, I'm just a nurse.

00:10:53,235 --> 00:10:56,780

You'd think that would embarrass me,

but, you see, I'm maxed out.

00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,617

- Hey, you made it.

- Hi! Wait.

00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:05,163

- You're, um... You're a potato?

- Well, I'm a spud?

00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,956

And the antenna...

00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:09,751

- Oh, my God, you're Spud-nik!

- Yes!

00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,212

Marry her.

00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,632

Okay, here's a good one for you.

00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,593

Who do you think would win a fight

between Ross and Chandler?

00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:21,262

I can't answer that.

Chandler's my husband.

00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,932

- So Ross?

- Yeah.

00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:27,435

- Hey, beautiful.

- Hello, handsome.

00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:28,937

Oh, God.

00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:33,942

Aw, look at you two.

So when did you guys meet?

00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,569

- Two weeks ago.

- Two weeks, that's it?

00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:40,573

I know. It sounds crazy, and it's not

like me to do something impulsive.

00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,660

But she's so perfect,

and we have so much in common.

00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:44,911

Oh, really?

00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,497

- We're both teachers.

- Huh?

00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:52,377

- And we were both in the Peace Corps.

- Peace Corps, really?

00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:57,799

In fact, when we were

building houses in Uruguay...

00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:01,386

...we were just two towns apart

and we never met.

00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:05,515

Yeah. It wasn't a town when I got

there, but it was a town when I left.

00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:10,854

- Shall we get me really drunk?

- Sure.

00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,482

Ha, ha. Ugh.

00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:18,695

Howdy, doodie.

00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:20,822

That's funny, yeah.

00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:25,869

You're the funniest man here in a

bunny costume his wife made him wear.

00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:30,540

Relax, man. Relax.

You're looking a little flushed.

00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:38,339

Hey, I think we might find out

the answer to our question.

00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:41,634

- What question?

- Who could kick whose ass in a fight...

00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:42,886

...you or Ross?

00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:47,056

- There's no question.

- So you think Ross too?

00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:52,353

- You picked Ross?

- Ross is really strong.

00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:56,691

He's the strongest out of all three

of you. Except for Joey.

00:12:57,985 --> 00:13:02,864

- I can not believe you didn't pick me.

- In her defense, she's right. I am stronger.

00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,116

I would destroy you.

00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:09,996

Oh, really? You think you're stronger?

Why don't you prove it?

00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:13,666

Oh, I'll prove it.

I'll prove it like a theorem!

00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:17,128

All right! Okay, stop it. Stop it!

00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,380

Stop! No one's gonna fight.

00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:23,218

People came to see a fight,

let's give them what they came for!

00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:29,682

- You guys could arm-wrestle.

- Yeah, listen to the slutty nurse.

00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:33,394

- You're going down.

- Oh, yeah? You're going further down.

00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:34,771

Downtown!

00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,899

Seriously, guys,

the trash talk is embarrassing.

00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:49,911

Oh, Gunther, you brought candy.

Thank you so much for picking this up.

00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,997

- You are so sweet.

- Really?

00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:57,210

Someday, you are gonna make some man

the luckiest guy in the world.

00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:58,920

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,089

- Got to go.

BOY: Trick or treat.

00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:05,176

Hi! Wow! There you go.

00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:08,721

My friend Lewis told me

you were giving out money.

00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:13,309

Oh, yeah, we were,

but, um, now we've got candy.

00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:16,604

I'd rather have the money.

00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:20,650

Well, that's not your choice.

Happy Halloween!

00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,193

This isn't fair.

00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:25,780

Is it fair that all you did was put on a cape

and I gotta give you stuff?

00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,949

Shut up!

00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,742

You shut up!

00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:35,790

- You can't tell me to shut up.

- Uh, I think I just did.

00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:38,376

And uh-oh, here it comes again. Shut up!

00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,546

- Uh, Rach.

- No, I got it. I'm good. I got it.

00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:46,134

Wait, I had one more thing to say.

00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:47,927

Oh, right. Shut up.

00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,722

You're a mean old woman.

00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,765

Oh, wait! No. Shut... Don't cry!

00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:55,059

Let me get my checkbook!

00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,395

Honey, you don't have to do this.

00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:00,440

It's the strength you have inside

that means the most to me.

00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:04,903

You're loyal, you're honest

and you have integrity.

00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:08,156

That's the strength I want

in the man I love.

00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:11,451

That means nothing to me. Come on!

00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,077

Ugh.

00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:15,204

- Hi, liar.

- Hey.

00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:18,499

You know, the only reason

he's marrying you...

00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:21,878

...is because he thinks the things

you were saying were true.

00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,631

- They could be true.

- But they're not.

00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,216

Yeah. It's a fine line, huh?

00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:31,012

- Why are you lying to him?

- I don't know.

00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:36,017

He said he did this stuff, I said I did it

too. He got so excited, it was fun.

00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,310

ERIC:

Honey?

00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:42,357

It's a disgusting habit,

and I want you to quit now!

00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:45,193

She's helped so many people

quit smoking.

00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,695

URSULA:

We'd better get going.

00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:50,823

- You have a church group meeting.

- Right.

00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:58,081

- Well, it was nice meeting you.

- You too.

00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:02,961

And, Ursula, it was really nice

meeting you tonight!

00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:06,130

Pheebs, come on! Bunny versus Doodie.

We're waiting!

00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:12,595

Okay, guys. One match,

winner take all.

00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,265

Wait. What does the winner get?

00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:18,309

- Pride.

- And dignity.

00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:21,187

Heh. Okay, if you say so.

00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,398

All right, ready, set, go!

00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:24,941

[BOTH GRUNTING]

00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,734

JOEY:

Come on!

00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,361

[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:38,830

- Wow, they're both really strong.

- Or equally weak.

00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:42,834

Oh, God. Chandler's making

his sex face.

00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:53,720

- So you getting tired?

- No. I could do this all day.

00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:56,264

Yeah. Me too.

00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:01,561

- Getting a little tired, though.

- God, I'm exhausted.

00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:07,859

This is starting to look bad for me,

okay? Mona's standing right there.

00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:13,114

Oh, God, she's talking to Joey!

You've got to let me win!

00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:16,075

No way. Let me win.

My wife thinks I'm a wimp.

00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:17,827

Hey, at least you have a wife.

00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:21,622

I keep getting divorces

and knocking people up.

00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:26,294

And I'm dressed as doodie.

00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:32,300

- You're Spud-nik.

- Come on, who we kidding? I'm doodie.

00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:36,095

- Please? She's watching.

- Ugh.

00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:39,474

- Fine.

- Thanks.

00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:40,683

[BOTH GROAN]

00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,061

- Oh, no.

- Oh, yeah!

00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:44,812

Yay!

00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,731

My hero!

00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,232

You're a weird lady.

00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:55,448

- Hey, Ursula said she left her purse.

- Oh.

00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:59,410

What a relief. It has the numbers

of the people in her prayer chain.

00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,204

I'm sure it does. Yeah. Yeah.

00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,748

Well, guess I'll see you at the wedding.

00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:10,046

Um, listen. I don't think I'm gonna

make it to the wedding.

00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:14,008

- I wish you all the luck in the world.

- We'll be okay.

00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:18,513

It's so perfect,

and she's been saving herself for me.

00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:24,310

- I can't let you do this. She's lying to you.

- What?

00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:28,689

She is lying. And I bet

I could prove it. Excuse me.

00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:32,193

Okay. Yeah, not a prayer chain.

00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:36,322

But what looks like a detailed drawing

of a bank floor plan.

00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:42,995

Here's the name tag from the restaurant

where she works as a waitress.

00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:45,540

Not a teacher, a waitress.

00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:48,668

Here's her driver's license.

She always lies about this.

00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,963

- How old did she say she was?

- She told me she was 25.

00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,882

Aw. I almost don't want to show you this.

00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:59,428

Just remember, I'm a minute younger.

00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:03,641

I am so stupid.

00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:06,811

Of course she's lying.

She's not a teacher.

00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:12,483

There's no such thing as a "Top Secret

School for the Children of Spies."

00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:16,863

No, you're not stupid.

00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:18,823

I'm not smart.

00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:27,915

I just wanted so much

to be impulsive for once.

00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,293

- To be romantic.

- That's good.

00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:33,838

You should be impulsive

and you should be romantic.

00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,215

Just, you did it with the wrong person.

00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:42,722

- What?

- It's weird, two people look so alike.

00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,515

And so different.

00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:49,145

URSULA:

Eric! Let's go!

00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:54,192

- Better go deal with it.

- Yeah, you should.

00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:02,783

URSULA:

Hurry up! I gotta pray!

00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:14,086

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:17,381

Well, I had to give the kid

50 bucks to stop crying.

00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:21,719

- That's not so bad.

- I also had to go to a couple houses...

00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,763

...as his girlfriend.

00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:27,141

Ugh, I am just awful with children.

00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:31,729

Come on, you're good with kids.

They're just crazy on Halloween.

00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,649

They're all greedy,

hopped up on sugar.

00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:38,402

- Really? That's all it is?

- Absolutely.

00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:45,076

Halloween is the worst. Except

for Christmas. And their birthdays.

00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:48,412

They get crazy during the summer too.

00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:52,124

And any time they're

hungry or sleepy.

00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:54,585

Kids are tough.

Good luck with that. Pfft.

00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:02,510

Look, I wanted to tell you,

I'm sorry you lost.

00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:06,472

Oh, listen. I got a secret for you.

I let him win.

00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,850

- Heh, heh.

- Was that a secret, or a lie?

00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:12,353

- No, I let him... Ross?

- Yeah?

00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,730

Would you tell her

I let you win, please?

00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:18,150

Oh, yeah, uh, Chandler let me win.

00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:24,156

No, Chandler's really strong.

Oh, my arm is so sore. Oh, nurse?

00:21:26,201 --> 00:21:29,120

I am strong. I'll show you.

00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:30,913

Chandler, please.

00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:32,999

Oh, what's the matter? Are you scared?

00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,584

Let's go, big bunny!

00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:39,338

One, two, three. Go!

00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:47,096

I'm gonna kill myself.

00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:54,020

[English - US - SDH]

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