Эпизод со стриптизершей

00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:11,468

Sure, yeah, he's kind of sexy.

00:00:12,887 --> 00:00:14,555

Oh, no, I'll be there too.

00:00:14,764 --> 00:00:19,977

Okay, so we'll just come up with a signal.

If it's going well, you can take off.

00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,438

No, Phoebe,

I just need you there for support.

00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:25,816

- I haven't told him I'm pregnant yet.

- Oh. Why not?

00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:29,194

Because I know he's gonna flip out

and I hate it when he gets angry.

00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:32,156

Oh, Rachel.

This is all so "Papa Don't Preach."

00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:35,868

No, Pheeb, wait, he's a scary guy.

I mean, one time he caught me smoking.

00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:39,705

He said if he ever saw me doing that again,

he would make me eat the entire pack.

00:00:39,956 --> 00:00:42,416

- Wow. Well, I will be there.

- Okay.

00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:45,544

Gosh, I'm not gonna let that man

make you eat your baby.

00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:51,800

Oh. Hey, who is that guy?

I think I know him.

00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:53,886

- No, you don't.

- No, you don't.

00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:58,015

Oh, my God. Monica, he's the stripper

from your bachelorette party.

00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,687

Her what?

00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,107

Your secret bachelorette party.

00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:12,362

- You had a bachelorette party?

- She untied his G-string with her teeth.

00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:16,366

Somebody stop me.

00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,912

I thought we weren't gonna have bachelor,

bachelorette parties.

00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,206

You know, we agreed

that it's a silly tradition.

00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,041

It's a grand tradition.

00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:28,921

I'm sorry. They surprised me.

There was nothing I could do.

00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:32,091

Well, you could have untied it

with your hands.

00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:33,884

This is so unfair.

00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:36,929

The one thing I wanted to do

was throw my best friend a bachelor party...

00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:40,140

...but, oh, I wasn't allowed to.

All we got was a stupid steak dinner.

00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:41,934

You went home with the waitress.

00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:45,896

Ha. Yeah, that was a good night.

00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:49,149

I can't believe you didn't tell me.

00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:53,487

You know that the two pillars of marriage

are openness and honesty.

00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:57,407

Ugh. I knew giving you that book was

gonna come back and bite me in the ass.

00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:42,703

How about I order everyone

the Moroccan chicken?

00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,371

Oh, I don't eat meat.

00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:46,165

It's chicken.

00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:51,420

- Yeah, I don't eat that either.

- I'll never understand you lesbians.

00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:57,759

- So, baby, tell me, what is new with you?

- Well, actually, um...

00:02:57,927 --> 00:03:00,679

- Ahem. Your '74 Lafite, sir.

- Seventy-four?

00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:05,309

I ordered the '75. That's a magnificent wine.

The '74 is sewage.

00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:07,102

Why would you bring me sewage?

00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:12,816

Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot?

Is that why you're a waiter?

00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,652

This is why I told the manager

I wouldn't wait on you tonight.

00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,822

Oh, come on.

Don't be such a baby.

00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:25,204

In case you didn't notice,

that is a scary man.

00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:29,041

He's right, though.

The '74 is absolute piss.

00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:34,421

This was such a huge mistake.

I can't tell him, Phoebe. I can't.

00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,757

- Rachel...

- No, it's okay. This is what's gonna happen.

00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:41,345

I'm gonna wait a couple of years

and then the baby will tell him.

00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:47,017

- Why? So he can get mad at the baby?

- Hey, that is the baby's problem.

00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:53,857

- Oh. Everything okay with the waiter?

- I have no idea. I went to the bathroom.

00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:01,240

So, sweetie, you were starting to tell me

what is, uh...? What is new with you?

00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,033

RACHEL:

Well...

00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,119

Um...

00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,330

I got TiVo.

00:04:09,123 --> 00:04:11,917

- What's TiVo?

- It's slang for "pregnant."

00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,921

Phoebe.

00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:19,841

Are you really pregnant?

00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,262

Well, uh, yes and no.

00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,639

Except, not no.

00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,141

So to sum it up, yeah.

00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:32,562

Who is the father? Oh, no.

Please don't tell me it's her.

00:04:34,732 --> 00:04:37,609

No, it's Ross. It's Ross. You like Ross.

00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,322

Oh, Daddy,

I hope you're okay with all this.

00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:46,243

I mean, think about it, this is a good thing.

This is your first grandchild.

00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:47,995

You're gonna be a poppy.

00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:51,248

That's true. I'm a poppy.

00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:52,666

[RACHEL LAUGHS]

00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,334

I'm gonna be a poppy.

00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:55,961

[ALL LAUGHING]

00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:01,675

- So when is the wedding?

- The who?

00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:06,221

The wedding.

There's going to be a wedding.

00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:10,684

Young lady, don't you sit there and tell me

my first grandchild is gonna be a bastard.

00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,813

Rachel Karen Green,

tell me there's gonna be a wedding.

00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,065

February 2nd.

00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,532

So it was cool

seeing you lecture today.

00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:30,370

Oh, thanks. Although it seemed like

you were falling asleep there a little.

00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:36,043

Oh, no, I had my eyes closed

so I could concentrate and take it all in.

00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:39,421

Yeah, a lot of my students do that.

00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:42,174

- So, um, I gotta get going.

- Okay, I'll see you tonight?

00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,383

- Yeah.

- Okay.

00:05:44,802 --> 00:05:48,388

Oh, hey, thanks again for showing me

your semi-precious stone collection.

00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:51,141

It was amazing.

00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,896

My God, you must be good in bed.

00:05:57,398 --> 00:06:00,442

So you and Mona. It's been a while now.

How's it going?

00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,736

Uh, it's good. It's going good.

00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:06,365

I mean, we get along great.

She's so...

00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:09,826

- Hot?

- Well, I was gonna say sweet, but yeah.

00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:12,871

And she's okay

with Rachel and the baby?

00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:17,292

Well, I haven't actually told her yet.

I don't wanna scare her off.

00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,169

Well, you have to be honest with her...

00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,922

...otherwise you may think

that you're going down the same path...

00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,216

...but you're really

going down different ones.

00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:27,344

I'm gonna take that book

and I'm gonna beat you to death with it.

00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:32,557

Oh, my God,

you are gonna love me so much.

00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:36,186

I felt really bad about the whole

bachelorette party thing, so tonight...

00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,939

...you're gonna have a bachelor party.

- What?

00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:40,941

Yeah, I got this number

from this guy at work...

00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:42,984

...and I hired a stripper

to come dance for you.

00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:47,030

Am I going in the

wife hall of fame or what?

00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,659

Honey, that's crazy,

I don't you to get me a stripper.

00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,828

Will you let the lady talk?

00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:57,165

Come on. Come on, it'll be fun.

It'll make me feel so much better.

00:06:57,333 --> 00:07:01,461

Look, I appreciate it, but, uh,

it's a little creepy, you know?

00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:03,171

I'm not a bachelor anymore.

00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,048

So don't think of it as a bachelor party.

00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:08,009

Think of it as a two-month

anniversary present.

00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:12,431

Sure. One year is paper,

but two months is lap dance.

00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:17,853

Please, I feel so bad.

Just watch the hot woman get naked.

00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:21,982

- Fine, but I'm only doing this for you.

- Yeah.

00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,277

And Joey.

00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,362

Thank you.

Now, who else do you wanna invite?

00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,699

Uh, no, no, no. Just Ross and Joey

is embarrassing enough.

00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:34,578

Uh, actually, sorry, I can't even make it.

I'm seeing Mona again tonight.

00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:38,498

I understand. Who would cancel an actual

date just to go to a fake bachelor party?

00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:40,709

I'm sorry. I gotta cancel tonight, baby.

00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:49,176

I'm sorry I won't be able to make it

to your imaginary wedding...

00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:50,760

...but I'm really busy that day.

00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:56,016

I already have a unicorn baptism

and a leprechaun bar mitzvah.

00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,022

I know, I know. I panicked. I panicked.

00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:07,110

I didn't want him to start yelling at me

like I was some '74 Latour.

00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:09,112

It's Lafite.

00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,991

The '74 Latour is actually

drinking quite nicely.

00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:18,246

All right, here he comes. I'm gonna do this.

I'm gonna tell him. I'm gonna be strong.

00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,208

- I just called a friend of mine.

- Yeah.

00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:24,461

I think I may be able

to book the Plaza on short notice.

00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,298

Really?

00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:30,175

The Plaza?

00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:32,636

Oh, Daddy.

00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:37,724

- Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you please.

- What is it, sweetie?

00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:42,312

There's not gonna be a wedding.

Ross and I are not getting married.

00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,940

- I'm sorry, Daddy.

- I don't believe this.

00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,483

Daddy, stay calm, please.

00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,777

Stay calm?

How do you expect me to stay calm?

00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:52,864

This is unacceptable, Rachel.

And I wanna know why.

00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:55,450

Is it because that punk Ross

won't marry you?

00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:58,912

- That's it. Is that it?

- Yes. He says I'm damaged goods.

00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,424

So, you, uh,

nervous about getting married?

00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,845

What are you doing?

00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,473

Look, let's pretend

it's a real bachelor party, okay?

00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,642

You know, before your wedding.

It'll be more fun.

00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:25,105

All right. I can't believe

tomorrow's the big day.

00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:29,901

How's it feel knowing you're never gonna

be with another woman again, huh?

00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:34,698

Knowing you're gonna have to wake up

to the same face every day...

00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:38,827

...until you finally have

the sweet release of death.

00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:41,538

You're right. This is more fun.

00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,416

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,876

That's her. Okay, come on.

00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:52,507

- Hi.

- Hi.

00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,342

[NOISEMAKER HONKS]

00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,597

So which one of you lucky boys

is Chandler?

00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:00,682

Uh, that's me.

00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,101

That's me.

00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,647

Joey Tribbiani. Big fan.

00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,860

- So is that a bedroom?

- Yeah, yeah, right over there.

00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:14,029

All right. Whenever you're ready.

00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,741

That was weird.

00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:21,578

- Why would she go in the bedroom?

WOMAN: I'm waiting.

00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,799

- So she's a...

- Yep, that's one naked hooker.

00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:40,930

I love your place.

Where is this guy from?

00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:44,684

Uh, that's an 18th-century

Indian artifact from Calcutta.

00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,227

Oh. Wow.

00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:50,899

So you're more than just dinosaurs.

00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:53,485

- So much more.

- Mm.

00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,445

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

00:10:58,366 --> 00:10:59,407

[SHATTERS]

00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,785

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I am so sorry.

00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:04,663

Ah, forget it. It's from Pier 1.

00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,582

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,502

Sorry.

00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:17,884

You think you can knock up my daughter

and then not marry her?

00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:20,553

I ought to kill you.

00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,475

You know, this is actually

not a great time for me.

00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:35,694

So come on.

Explain yourself, Geller.

00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:38,863

- First you get my Rachel pregnant...

- You got Rachel pregnant?

00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,156

- Who did?

- You did!

00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:42,117

Yes. Ahem.

00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:46,496

Yes, yes, I did, but it was

just a one-night thing. It meant nothing.

00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:50,583

Oh? Really? That's what my daughter

means to you, nothing?

00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:54,671

No, no, sir. Um, she means a lot to me.

I mean, I love Rachel.

00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,465

- What?

- Oh, but not in that way. Heh.

00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:59,134

I mean, I'm not in love with her.

00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:02,053

- I love her like a friend.

- Oh, really? That's how you treat a friend?

00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:04,389

You get her in trouble and then

you refuse to marry her?

00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,683

- Hey, I offered to marry her.

- What?

00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,977

But I didn't want to.

00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,565

Well, why not? So you could

spend your time with this tramp?

00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,066

Tramp?

00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:18,820

I'm sorry. Dr. Green, Mona.

Mona, Dr. Green.

00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:23,199

I can't believe there is

a naked hooker in there.

00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:26,828

Wait, wait.

Maybe she's a hooker and a stripper...

00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:30,206

...but she got confused

about what she's supposed to do.

00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:34,419

Could be. I mean, technically, she did strip.

We just missed it.

00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,883

Ma'am?

00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:42,552

Are you also a stripper?

00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,180

WOMAN:

Uh, no, but I could pretend to strip.

00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:46,639

But that's gonna cost extra.

00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:49,058

Okay, here's the extras:

Handcuffs, spanking...

00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:50,643

No, no, ha, ha.

00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,148

Maybe Monica's playing a joke on you.

00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:59,068

You know, getting her own husband

a hooker. That's pretty funny.

00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:03,907

That is funny. Maybe for my birthday

she'll murder someone.

00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:08,995

I bet Ross was in on it too.

I mean, he was conveniently busy.

00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:13,708

WOMAN: Do you mind if I smoke in here?

- Oh, actually, I'd rather... Ahem.

00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:17,587

Yeah, go ahead. We're gonna have to

burn that room down anyway.

00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,341

How could you have kept

all of this from me?

00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:24,260

- I was going to tell you, but...

- But what?

00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:27,222

You figured you'd get what you wanted,

then you'd dump her like Rachel.

00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:31,810

Hey, I did not dump Rachel.

Nor are we still together.

00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,102

[PHONE RINGING]

00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:35,104

Oh, um...

00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:36,815

Can I...?

00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:40,652

Why don't we just let the machine

get that?

00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,195

[MACHINE BEEPS]

00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:45,031

JOEY [ON MACHINE]: Hey, Ross, it's Joey.

There's a hooker over here.

00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:47,992

We thought maybe

you'd know something about it.

00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:51,996

No. No. No. No. No.

00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,541

I need to lie down.

00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,214

So tonight's the night

of the big bachelor party?

00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,383

Yeah, hey, thanks for giving me

that girl's number.

00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:06,010

No problem. So who's the party for?

00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,680

- My husband.

- You hired your husband a hooker?

00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,433

- She's a stripper.

- No, she's a hooker.

00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:16,980

- Is that what they call strippers sometimes?

- When they're hookers.

00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:20,400

Oh, my God, Stu,

I can't believe you did this.

00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:22,569

You're absolutely sure she's a hooker?

00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:26,531

Either that, or she's just the best,

most expensive date I ever had.

00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:36,040

- Maybe she meant to get you a hooker.

- Why would she do that?

00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:38,126

Maybe she wants you

to learn something.

00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:45,425

Is there anything you're really bad at,

you know, sexually?

00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,303

This is the worst bachelor party ever.

00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,807

WOMAN: What's taking you boys so long?

- In a minute.

00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:56,561

In a minute?

What's gonna happen in a minute?

00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:59,439

All right, all right.

Maybe you should just ask her to leave.

00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,691

- Why me?

- Hey, it's your bachelor party.

00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:05,320

- Which is why you should do it.

- I don't want to. You do it.

00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:06,613

- You do it.

- You do it.

00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:10,325

All right, rock, paper, scissors

for who has to tell the whore to leave.

00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:17,373

- What?

- I miss this.

00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:20,960

I don't think we've actually

done this before.

00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,671

No, I miss hanging out with you.

00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:27,050

- Well, we still hang out.

- Not like we used to.

00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:30,303

Remember?

You and me used to be inseparable.

00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:35,266

Well, now it's like things are different.

00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:39,687

Well, you know, things are different.

I'm married now.

00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:43,191

Yeah, sure. And, hey, don't get me wrong,

I am so happy for you guys.

00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:48,613

But I just miss hanging out.

Just us, you know?

00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,616

Yeah, I miss that too.

00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:55,119

I'll tell you what, from now on, we'll

make time to hang out with each other.

00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:58,206

You got it. Come here.

00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,543

Oh, God.

00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,463

Listen, I am this close

to robbing you guys.

00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:09,592

She's a hooker! She's a hooker! She's a...!

00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:14,347

Hi. Uh, we spoke on the phone.

00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:22,981

So your dad dropped by.

00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:25,400

He's a pleasant man.

00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:28,987

- Oh, no.

PHOEBE: I better go.

00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,870

Just over here.

I don't wanna miss the fight.

00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:39,998

Ross, I am so sorry.

00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:44,293

Okay, I promise I will straighten this out

with him tomorrow in person.

00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:46,129

Or via e-mail.

00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:49,799

I don't care about your dad.

I care about Mona.

00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,010

She was there and now

she's totally freaked out.

00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,554

Ugh, okay, I'll fix that too.

What's her e-mail address?

00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,222

Rachel.

00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:59,809

All right, I promise, I'll fix this.

I swear I'll talk to her.

00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,769

- Okay. Thank you.

- Okay.

00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:06,190

That's it? You call that a fight? Come on.

00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,069

"We were on a break." "No we weren't."

What happened to you two?

00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:15,491

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,162

Thank you so much

for coming back over.

00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,499

Oh, good. You're here.

00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:26,377

Yeah, and I was worried

that it was going to be uncomfortable.

00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,547

I know. Mona, just hear me out.

00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:33,718

First of all, I am so sorry

about my father yelling at you.

00:17:33,927 --> 00:17:35,595

But I heard that you totally

held your own.

00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,555

You're gonna have to tell me

how you did that.

00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,974

- Focus.

- Okay. Um...

00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,643

Okay, yes, Ross and I used to date.

00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:46,898

And yes, we are gonna have a baby.

00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:51,110

But we are definitely not

getting back together.

00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:55,198

- How can I be sure of that?

- Oh, because we drove each other crazy.

00:17:55,365 --> 00:18:01,245

I mean, he was possessive, he was jealous.

He could never just let the little things go.

00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,122

- Trying to date this woman.

- Right.

00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:08,336

But none of that compared

to how kind and gentle...

00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:10,755

...and thoughtful he is.

00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:13,591

You probably shouldn't touch me.

00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:17,929

You know, I just don't wanna get

in the middle of something so complicated.

00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:21,516

I get it. But, Mona,

what relationship is not complicated?

00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,602

We all have our baggage.

You must too.

00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,479

Why else would you still be single?

00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:29,482

I'm so gonna leave right now.

00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:33,611

[MONA SIGHS]

00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,822

Should I leave this open for you too?

00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:40,409

I'm not sure yet.

Why didn't you just tell me about all this?

00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:43,830

Because what's going on with Rachel has

nothing to do with how I feel about you.

00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:48,584

- Well, you still should have told me.

- I know, and I was going to...

00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:52,713

...but I thought it was better

that you heard it from Rachel's father.

00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:56,259

Look, I made a mistake...

00:18:56,510 --> 00:19:01,013

...but it's only because

I really, really like you. Really.

00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:06,727

Okay. I guess you can

close the door now.

00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:17,864

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:22,285

Forgot my purse. Oh, you guys made up.

00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:26,038

He's a good kisser, isn't he?

00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:27,707

I'm going.

00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:36,340

I swear I didn't know she was a hooker.

I mean...

00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:39,051

Did you let her smoke in here?

00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,929

Her ass-print is still

on your grandmother's quilt.

00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:44,140

Do you really want to talk

about smoking?

00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:49,061

You know what?

I'm gonna make this up to you.

00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,980

I promised you a stripper...

00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,191

[EVE'S "LET ME BLOW YOUR MIND"

PLAYING ON STEREO]

00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:55,484

...and you're gonna get a stripper.

00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,864

- Monica, wait.

- What?

00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,033

Carry on.

00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:06,913

If I had to give you up

It's only been a year

00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:12,251

Now, I got my foot through the door

And I ain't going nowhere

00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:17,715

It took a while to get me in

And I'm gonna take my time

00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:22,887

Ooh. These tennis shoes are so tight.

00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:27,975

- I think I'll take them off.

- Could you not narrate?

00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:30,436

Gotcha, sailor.

00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:31,646

[BREAKING]

00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:42,865

GREEN [OVER PHONE]: Just because

you're not in love with the guy...

00:20:43,116 --> 00:20:45,201

[GREEN CONTINUES

SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:49,121

- Oh, you told your dad the truth.

- About an hour ago.

00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,750

- Wanna go see a movie?

- Yes.

00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,380

Bye, Dad.

00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:05,721

GREEN: It's unacceptable, Rachel.

What the hell does love have to do with it?

00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:09,475

There are more important things

in a marriage than love.

00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:17,775

You have to think about

the consequences of your decisions.

00:21:19,736 --> 00:21:23,864

Hey, I do too think about

the consequences of my decisions.

00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:27,785

Well, what gives you the right to...?

00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:29,245

Go to hell.

00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:36,919

Stupid guy on my phone.

00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:44,468

[English - US - SDH]