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Моника приглашает своего школьного друга Уилла (Брэд Питт) на свой ужин в честь Дня благодарения. Рейчел узнает, что Росс и Уилл (который был толстым, а теперь стройным и красивым) в выпускном классе пустили слух о том, что у Рейчел есть как мужские, так и женские «репродуктивные органы». Джои пытается защитить «семейное наследие» Триббиани, съев целую индейку. Чендлер и Фиби сидят на диване, смотрят игру, чтобы не помогать Монике убирать после ужина. Специальный гость: Брэд Питт в роли Уилла. В то время Питт был мужем Дженнифер.

Эпизод со сплетней

The One with the Rumor
Сезон: 08Серия: 09

Описание

Моника приглашает своего школьного друга Уилла (Брэд Питт) на свой ужин в честь Дня благодарения. Рейчел узнает, что Росс и Уилл (который был толстым, а теперь стройным и красивым) в выпускном классе пустили слух о том, что у Рейчел есть как мужские, так и женские «репродуктивные органы». Джои пытается защитить «семейное наследие» Триббиани, съев целую индейку. Чендлер и Фиби сидят на диване, смотрят игру, чтобы не помогать Монике убирать после ужина. Специальный гость: Брэд Питт в роли Уилла. В то время Питт был мужем Дженнифер.

Субтитры

eng__.srt

eng__.srt

00:00:07,048 --> 00:00:11,093

...your fingers swell up to twice

their size and never go back?

00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:15,139

Oh, my God. Let me see that.

00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:16,390

[LAUGHS]

00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:18,559

You fall for it every time.

00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:23,313

Hey. Look, I brought you

my old maternity clothes.

00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:28,485

Oh, Pheebs, that's so sweet.

Oh, those are so cute.

00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:32,906

And look. See how they expand

as the baby grows?

00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:38,412

And then after the baby's born,

they're great for shoplifting melons.

00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:43,792

Oh, good, you're all here.

Okay, Thanksgiving tomorrow, 4:00.

00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:48,338

Oh. And guess who I invited? Remember

that guy Will Culvert from high school?

00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:51,300

- No.

- He was in Ross' class.

00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:56,180

Marching band, was kind of overweight.

Well, really overweight.

00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,015

I mean, I was his thin friend.

00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,935

Wow, I don't remember him.

00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,688

Are you sure you're not talking about

your imaginary boyfriend?

00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:07,608

No, that was Jared.

00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:12,821

Wow. Haven't thought about him

in a long time.

00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,076

Anyway, um, Will's here on business...

00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,536

...and he didn't have a place to go

so I invited him here.

00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:20,788

Oh, that's nice.

00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:22,706

Oh, by the way,

he's lost a bunch of weight.

00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:27,836

I mean, he looks good.

Okay, I mean really, really gorgeous.

00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,171

[CLEARS THROAT]

00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:35,803

- I still love Chandler.

- Wouldn't hurt you to say it once in a while.

00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:41,975

Okay, also, just so you know,

I'm not gonna make a turkey this year.

00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,895

- What?

- Well, Phoebe doesn't eat turkey.

00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:49,566

- Phoebe.

- Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals.

00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:52,945

No, they're not.

They're ugly and stupid and delicious.

00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,658

All right, it's not just Phoebe.

Will's still on a diet...

00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,535

...Chandler doesn't eat

Thanksgiving food...

00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,745

...and Rachel's having

her aversion to poultry.

00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:02,955

She is?

00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,041

Yeah, remember I had to leave

the other day when you had that chicken?

00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,836

I thought that was just because

I put the whole thing on my hand...

00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:10,879

...and made it walk across the table.

00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,967

It just doesn't seem worth it to make

a whole turkey for three people.

00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,010

It's a lot of work.

00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,555

But you gotta have turkey

on Thanksgiving.

00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:24,685

I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey

is like Fourth of July with no apple pie.

00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:28,105

Or Friday with no two pizzas.

00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:32,734

All right, fine, if it means that much to you,

but there's gonna be a ton left over.

00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:35,487

No, there won't.

I promise I will finish that turkey.

00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:39,616

All right, you're telling me you can eat

almost an entire turkey in one sitting?

00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:45,789

That's right. Because I'm a Tribbiani.

This is what we do.

00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:50,002

We may not be great thinkers

or world leaders.

00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:54,965

We don't read a lot or run very fast,

but damn it, we can eat.

00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:35,047

ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:

Four wide receivers. On third and 18.

00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:38,091

Hey, isn't it weird to think about

how next year at this time...

00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:40,552

...there'll be a little baby at the table?

00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,099

Rachel's.

But good to know where you're at.

00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,645

- Hey.

MONICA: Hey.

00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,813

- Happy Thanksgiving.

- You too.

00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,899

- Anything I can do to help?

- Actually, there is.

00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:57,194

Chandler usually helps but he's into

the game so I don't wanna bother him.

00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,780

- Could you help me fold these napkins?

- Sure.

00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,907

I'm gonna go across the hall

to check on the yams.

00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:06,286

- Okay.

- No, no, no, sweetie. No, not like that.

00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,747

We're not at a barn dance.

00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:13,627

You wanna fold them like swans.

Like I showed you at Christmas, remember?

00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,879

Yeah, it all just came

screaming back to me.

00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:23,178

- So how's the game?

- I have no idea.

00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:24,388

What?

00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:28,392

Yeah, I'm just pretending to watch the game

so I don't have to help out with stuff.

00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:33,647

I don't believe you. That is brilliant.

00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,651

- And Monica has no idea?

- Nope.

00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:41,196

Every once in a while

I just yell and scream stuff at the TV.

00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,658

Hey, what...? Hey!

00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:49,454

- Is your team winning, hon?

- Oh, yeah. Anderson just scored again.

00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:51,957

There's no Anderson.

00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,921

Oh, I wanna get in on this. Hey, Mon?

00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,591

I don't think I can't help you after all.

I didn't realize this game was on.

00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:05,095

- Oh. I didn't know you liked football.

- Well, normally, I don't.

00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:09,725

But, you know, Green Bay is playing.

00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:13,186

- You like Green Bay?

- Well, it's only like my favorite bay.

00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,399

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:22,821

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,868

- Happy Thanksgiving.

- Aw, thanks.

00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:31,163

God, Will, I'm so glad that you came.

You just... You look great.

00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,372

You must've lost like...

00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,082

A hundred and fifty pounds.

00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:37,210

Yeah, I'm gonna be in one of those

Subway sandwich commercials.

00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:43,592

- A pie.

- Right. Uh, it's no fat, no sugar, no dairy.

00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:47,346

- It's no good. Throw it out.

- You wanna meet some people?

00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,557

This is, uh, my husband, Chandler.

Chandler, this is Will.

00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:54,144

Oh, hey. I'd shake your hand but, uh,

I'm really into the game.

00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:59,691

Plus, I think it'd be better for my ego

if we didn't stand right next to each other.

00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,112

- This is Phoebe.

- Hi.

00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:07,657

Hey. Wow.

00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,371

Well done.

00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,581

- Wanna give me a hand?

- Sure.

00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:18,251

Monica, I can't get over how great

you look. You look stunning.

00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:23,673

- You look incredible too. You're just so fit.

- I'm watching the game but I'm not deaf.

00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:27,010

Oh, um, I meant to tell you,

Ross is coming.

00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,429

Ross is coming. Great, I love Ross.

00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:31,181

Well, good. And Rachel Green too.

00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:34,101

Oh.

00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:39,231

- Is there a problem?

- Nope. Uh, it's okay.

00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,816

It's just, uh...

00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:43,026

God, I hated her.

00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,779

- What?

- I hated her.

00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:48,865

She was horrible to me in high school.

00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:52,369

But hey, that was a long time ago.

I'm in a good place.

00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:55,205

It might be actually fun to see her again.

00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:58,542

Got any cakes or cookies or something?

00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:03,088

No, Will. No.

00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:06,550

You know, it's been a while since we

screamed something. Maybe we should.

00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:09,553

- Oh, okay. No!

- Oh, come on!

00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:13,098

Damn you, ref. You burn in hell!

00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,604

Hey, what are you doing?

You gotta save room.

00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,648

You've got almost an entire turkey to eat.

00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,817

Let me explain to you

how the human body works.

00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,029

I have to warm up my stomach first.

00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:32,367

- Eating chips is like stretching.

- Okay.

00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,912

- Don't worry, Tribbianis never get full.

- I actually know what you're talking about.

00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,539

And I'm here to tell you something.

00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,667

You can eat and eat and eat,

but nothing will ever fill that void.

00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:47,382

- Who the hell is this guy?

- This is Will, from high school.

00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:48,675

- Oh, hey.

- Hello.

00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,136

- Will.

WILL: Ross.

00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:57,267

Hey, you came.

Man, you look incredible. Hot stuff.

00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:01,605

- Hot stuff?

- It's good to see you, man.

00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:04,649

Yeah, you too.

Man, so, what are you up to?

00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:09,154

- I'm a commodities broker.

- Really? That sounds interesting.

00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,948

- Yeah, it's not.

- Oh.

00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,784

- But I'm rich and thin.

- Oh, hey.

00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:20,207

Man, I don't think I've seen you since, uh,

Lance Davis' graduation party.

00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:22,167

- That was such a fun night.

- Yeah.

00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:26,630

Would've been good if we had gotten in,

but still, real fun.

00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:29,758

God, we were lame back then. Do you

remember how into dinosaurs we were?

00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,095

[CHUCKLES]

00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:37,182

- Yeah.

- So, what do you do now?

00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,519

So how long are you in town?

00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:46,316

- Hi.

MONICA: Hey, sweetie. Oh, good.

00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,026

Rachel Green.

00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,569

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:52,489

Oh, oh, that's right.

Are you gonna be okay?

00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:58,203

Oh, I'll be fine. It's just...

God, I hate her, Ross. I hate her.

00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:03,166

Will, high school was a long time ago.

00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:06,461

Look at her standing there

with those yams.

00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:12,300

My two greatest enemies, Ross:

Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.

00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,554

Oh, my God, Monica. Who is that?

00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:22,102

- That's Will, from high school.

- Ah. I do not remember him.

00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:26,064

Wow, really got that

sexy smoldering thing going on.

00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:29,901

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:35,699

Oh, my God. Look at the way

he's just staring at me.

00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:38,618

I think he's trying to mouth something

to me, but I can't make it out.

00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:42,539

[MOUTHS]

I hate you.

00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:45,959

- Okay, dinner's ready.

- Okay.

00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:50,046

- Yeah. Solid effort. Solid effort.

- Oh, so who won?

00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,591

- Green Bay.

- Detroit.

00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,343

- What?

- Well, the Lions technically won.

00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:59,097

But it was a moral victory

for the Green Bay Mermen.

00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:05,770

- Hi. Will, right?

- Right.

00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,689

Right, hi. I'm Rachel Green.

00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:12,986

- Oh, I remember you.

- Really? Aren't you sweet?

00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:18,366

I gotta tell you though,

I'm having the hardest time placing you.

00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,994

Oh, oh, hang on. I think I remember you.

00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:26,708

Did we, um...? Did we fool around

at Lance Davis' graduation party?

00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:30,670

- You are unbelievable.

- Thank you.

00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:35,175

Uh, Rachel? Why don't you sit here?

And, Will, you sit way over there.

00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:46,186

That's it? Even if nobody helps me,

I can eat that, no problem.

00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:47,812

At least give me a challenge.

00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,064

[MONICA CHUCKLES]

00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:51,524

This is Chandler's chicken.

00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:56,404

This is the turkey.

00:10:57,406 --> 00:11:00,533

Oh. How big is that?

00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:05,413

- About 19 pounds.

- It's like me when I was born.

00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:10,085

All right, who would, uh, like some yams?

Will?

00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:12,379

Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?

00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:17,425

What? Oh, you know what?

Can we please keep the chicken...

00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:19,678

...and the turkey and everything

on the other side?

00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:23,640

- The smell is just... Yuck.

- Typical. Ahem.

00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:27,811

- I'm sorry, what?

- I said it was typical.

00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:29,396

Typical of you, Rachel Green.

00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:33,441

Queen Rachel, does whatever she wants

in her little Rachel-land.

00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:40,448

Seriously, who is this guy?

00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:44,619

Um, ahem, sorry,

do you have a problem with me?

00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:49,874

- I don't know. Do I? Do I?

- I think you do.

00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:54,254

Apparently you were a little mean to him

in high school.

00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:59,134

- A little mean? You made my life miserable.

- I had no idea. I'm sorry.

00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:03,054

Well, you should be.

Screw it. Bring on the yams.

00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:05,098

Will, but you've worked so hard.

00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,350

- Yams!

- Okay.

00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:15,024

Uh, Will, I just wanna say that I'm real sorry

for whatever I did to you in high school.

00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,277

Oh, it wasn't just me. We had a club.

00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,113

- You had a club?

- That's right.

00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:23,283

The "I Hate Rachel Green Club."

00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:26,578

Oh, my God. So, what,

you all just joined together to hate me?

00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:31,666

- Who else was in this club?

- Me and Ross.

00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:39,758

No need to point.

She knows who Ross is.

00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:50,894

- So you were in an "I Hate Rachel" club?

- Yes, he was.

00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:52,270

No, no.

00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:56,441

So who else was in this club?

00:12:56,609 --> 00:13:00,361

Uh, actually, there was also that

exchange student from Thailand.

00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:03,865

But I don't think he knew what it was.

00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:07,160

So, Ross, we went out for two years

and you never told me...

00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:09,078

...you were in an "I Hate Rachel Club."

00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:12,791

You went out with her? We had a pact.

00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:16,544

It was in high school.

It's not like it was binding forever.

00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:19,255

Then why did it have

the word "eternity" in it?

00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,843

Okay, Monica, did you know about this?

00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:25,929

I swear I didn't. Hey, is that why you guys...

00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:28,264

...used to go up to your bedroom

and lock the door?

00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:31,976

BOTH: Yeah.

- Huh. A little relieved, I gotta say.

00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:38,441

Look, Rach, I'm sorry, okay?

I was a stupid kid, okay?

00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:39,776

The only reason I joined...

00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:43,154

- Cofounded.

- Cofounded.

00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:48,201

Cofounded the club,

was that I was insanely in love with you.

00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:50,036

Obviously I didn't handle it very well...

00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,330

...but if you think about it,

the "I Hate Rachel Club"...

00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,874

...was really the "I Love Rachel Club."

00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:57,877

Uh, except that it was really

the "I Hate Rachel Club."

00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:03,466

Okay, so, what, you guys would just get

together and say mean things about me?

00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:08,054

- Well, we did a little more than that.

- No, no. No, no. No, no. Heh.

00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:09,931

What? What else did you do?

00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:12,725

- We started a rumor.

- What rumor?

00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:18,565

Oh, come on, Will.

Just take off your shirt and tell us.

00:14:21,902 --> 00:14:24,112

- Ross?

- Ugh, it was no big deal.

00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:30,577

Uh, we... We said that...

The rumor was that, um...

00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:34,747

...you had both male and female

reproductive parts.

00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:36,165

Ha!

00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,251

- What?

- That's right.

00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:40,211

We said your parents flipped a coin...

00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:44,257

...decided to raise you as a girl,

but you still had a hint of a penis.

00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:49,095

- Oh, my God.

- You started that?

00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:53,808

- What, you heard that?

- Everyone at our school heard it.

00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,312

Everybody at my school heard it.

You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader?

00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,480

Oh, no.

00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:02,984

Oh, my God, this is all making

so much sense to me now.

00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,111

This is why Adam Carter

wouldn't go out with me.

00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:08,323

This is why Billy Tratt

would just stay in this region.

00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:12,702

Actually, Billy Tratt is gay now,

so that one's not really our fault.

00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:17,498

- Monica, how come you never told me this?

- I thought it might be true.

00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:20,460

And I was afraid that you were gonna cry

and then show it to me.

00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,220

Joey, stop staring. There's nothing there.

It's not true.

00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,765

- I'm afraid I'm gonna need proof.

- Oh...

00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:43,441

[SIGHS]

00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:51,783

You are my Everest.

00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:56,371

- Joey, you don't have to finish that.

- Oh, yes, I do. Otherwise, what's next?

00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:59,290

Today I'm just a guy

who can't finish a turkey...

00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,834

...but tomorrow I'm the guy

who eats half a Power Bar...

00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:05,713

...wraps up the rest and puts it

in the fridge? No.

00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:10,593

I just gotta change my pants.

What was I thinking? Jeans have no give.

00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:19,143

Okay. Okay. Listen to what Sean McMahon

wrote in my yearbook senior year.

00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:24,315

"Dear Rach, you're such a great person."

Not girl, "person."

00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:27,860

Rach, I think you're reading

a little too much into it.

00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:32,490

"Dear Rach, you're a great person.

Sorry about your teeny weenie."

00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,367

[LAUGHING]

00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,412

What do you want me to do...

00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:41,082

...call everyone in the entire school

and tell them it wasn't true?

00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,835

- Yes.

- Could you also tell them I'm skinny now?

00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:46,921

Oh. Me too.

00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:50,675

Now, look, I'm not calling anybody, okay?

It was like a million years ago.

00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:54,721

I don't care how long ago it was.

You told people that I was half and half.

00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:58,182

You know what? I just wanna point out...

00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,351

...I never did anything to hurt you

in high school.

00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,979

That's not totally true.

00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:04,480

- What?

- What?

00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,983

Well, you did start that rumor

about Ross...

00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:11,070

...making out with Mrs. Altmann,

our 50-year-old librarian.

00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:15,241

How did you know that?

00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:21,789

- It's true?

- No.

00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,585

Yes, it is. I saw you guys going at it

behind the card catalog.

00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:29,547

Mrs. Altmann? She also made out...

00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,675

...with Ta-Taka-Ki-Kek the night

before he went back to Thailand.

00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:38,639

I'm sorry, when you were in high school

you made out with a 50-year-old woman?

00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:42,977

- Hey, she didn't look 50.

- Did she look 16?

00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,354

Oh, there's a picture of her

in the yearbook actually.

00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:46,856

PHOEBE:

Oh.

00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:51,778

- Wow.

- She didn't photograph well.

00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:54,030

She probably wasn't familiar

with the process...

00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:57,617

...having spent most of her life

sitting for oil paintings.

00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:03,831

So how did this happen?

Did she lure you to an early-bird dinner?

00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:13,841

I was working late in the library

one afternoon.

00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:15,510

It was just the two of us.

00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:18,137

She needed some help

with her word jumble.

00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,851

And one thing led to another.

00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:30,108

If you must know,

Anita was very gentle and tender.

00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,530

May she rest in peace.

00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:40,118

- Didn't she walk with a cane?

- Only when it was damp.

00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:46,457

I can't believe you told people about this.

Everybody knew?

00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:51,379

- You know what? I'm back in the club.

- Yeah!

00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,548

- I wanna join.

- What...? Phoebe?

00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:58,136

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I never got to be

in a club. I didn't go to high school.

00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:01,222

But three of us would meet

behind a Dumpster to learn French.

00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,015

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:06,227

All right, you know, fine,

you guys can have your stupid little club.

00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:10,898

But I would just like to say what you did

to me is way worse than what I did to you.

00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:14,569

- You gave me a teeny weenie.

- Ha, ha, yeah.

00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:20,950

All right, listen. You're just being silly.

00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:24,370

Rachel, even with that rumor you were

one of the most popular girls in school.

00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:26,330

Everyone wanted to be like you.

00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:30,251

One girl wanted to be like you so much,

she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll.

00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:32,253

Wow.

00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:35,756

And, Ross,

if it weren't for Rachel's rumor...

00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:38,593

...I mean, no one in high school

would have even known who you were.

00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:43,055

- She put you on the map.

- As a romancer of the elderly.

00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:47,435

Hey, Mrs. Altmann was the kind of woman

you could tell she used to be pretty.

00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:51,689

The eyes did still sparkle.

00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:57,069

Hey, guys, this stuff is so way in the past.

You've been through so much since then.

00:19:57,321 --> 00:20:00,489

And right now, you got so much more

important stuff going on in your lives.

00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:02,450

Can't you just let this go?

00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,246

She's right.

00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,957

Yeah, I mean,

we are having a baby together.

00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,084

Hold on.

00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:16,088

- You got her pregnant?

- Yeah.

00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,883

- Are you getting married?

- No.

00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:22,136

So you knocked her up

but you're not gonna marry her.

00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:23,804

Dude.

00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:30,019

- Anybody?

- Okay.

00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:37,068

It's exactly how I imagined it would be.

00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:42,531

All right, where's that turkey?

00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:52,541

- Joey, those are my maternity pants.

- No, these are my Thanksgiving pants.

00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:02,843

Well, that's it. I'm done.

00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:04,595

Whew.

00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:07,348

Here come the meat sweats.

00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,605

Well, Joey, we're all very proud of you.

00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:19,527

Yes, I believe we can expect a call

from the president any moment now.

00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:24,156

- Is there anything we can do for you?

- No, just nobody press on my stomach.

00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:25,908

You can keep those pants, by the way.

00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:32,707

What...? What do you got there?

What is that, pie?

00:21:32,916 --> 00:21:37,086

- Heh. Yeah, you want some?

- Just cut me a little sliver.

00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,382

A little bigger.

00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:44,093

Little bigger.

00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:46,804

What, are you afraid you're gonna run out?

Cut me a real piece.

00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,728

[English - US - SDH]

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