Эпизод про тайный чулан

00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:14,013

Oh, okay. No problem.

00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:19,351

- Okay. Here you go.

- Okay.

00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:20,978

Okay, um...

00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:27,151

- What?

- You want to hang out or something?

00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:30,195

Phoebe, you caught me at a bad time.

00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,406

- Oh, are you and Chandler...?

- Yes. Exactly.

00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,117

- Okay. Want me to play for you?

- No.

00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,873

Hey, Pheebs, what's up?

00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:47,588

You ask an intriguing question,

Chandler Bing.

00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:50,883

[GASPS]

00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:56,680

Oh, my God! You're getting a massage?

You never let me massage you.

00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:00,934

- Phoebe, I can explain.

- You told me you hate massages.

00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:05,439

Buy stamps. Pick up dry cleaning.

Don't let Phoebe in.

00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:09,651

I can't believe this.

How long has this been going on?

00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:13,530

- Well, uh, Alexandra has...

- Oh, it has a name?

00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,992

Phoebe, don't get upset.

00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:22,414

Okay. Oh, too late! I'm leaving.

Come on, Chandler, let's go.

00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,584

Well, I thought I'd...

00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,586

Yeah, what the hell.

00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,379

- Okay, come on. One more push.

- Unh!

00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,297

Come on, we're almost there.

00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:16,718

Joey, I'm so happy things worked out

for us and we're having this baby together.

00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:19,596

- I love you so much.

- Oh, I love you too.

00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:23,058

Mm. I hope it's not

an inappropriate time to say this...

00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,686

...but you're the best sex I've ever had.

00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:29,857

- That's always appropriate.

- Ha, ha.

00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:32,776

Okay, come on, one more push.

One more push.

00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,070

[GROANS]

00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:36,780

DOCTOR:

There we go.

00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,365

[RACHEL SIGHS AND BABY CRIES]

00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:44,788

Here is your beautiful baby.

Congratulations.

00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,337

[SNARLS]

00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:55,174

I hope you're a better father

than you are a friend!

00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,801

[BOTH SCREAMING]

00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,928

Whoa! Aah, whoa.

00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:01,305

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,056

- Joey!

- What, what?

00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:06,727

- What's going on? Uh...

- Feel this. Come feel my belly.

00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,897

The baby's kicking for the first time.

Please come feel.

00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,982

- Really? Uh...

- Yes.

00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,902

You know what? Maybe, uh, you...

00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,820

Maybe you should come to me.

00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:20,240

- I'm not wearing any bottoms.

- Oh, okay.

00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,745

- Oh, my God.

- Aah!

00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,705

It's unbelievable!

00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:30,584

Wow, she is kicking so much.

She's like, um...

00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,795

Who's that kind of

annoying girl soccer player?

00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:36,924

- Mia Hamm?

- Mia Hamm!

00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:40,594

- Oh! It's amazing.

- Whoa. One hand on the sheet, Joe.

00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,805

Whoa, eh. Sorry.

00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:50,103

- Hey, babe.

MONICA: Hey, honey.

00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:55,442

We got a wedding gift from Bob and

Faye Bing. They don't like us, do they?

00:03:56,110 --> 00:04:00,113

Who says you can't get

a nice punch bowl for under $6?

00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,950

- Maybe we can take it back.

- Doesn't say where it's from.

00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:06,536

- Where would we return it?

- How about to the street, from the balcony?

00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,748

Why don't we just find a place for it?

00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,541

[MUMBLES]

00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,212

How about in that cabinet?

00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:16,964

That's where we keep canned goods.

00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:20,217

Have you forgotten everything

you learned in orientation?

00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,055

How about the closet by the bathroom?

00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,266

Oh. Okay.

Why don't you let me do it.

00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,184

No, no, no. I will do it.

00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:34,564

You have to relax and let your husband

take care of things once in a while.

00:04:34,732 --> 00:04:37,317

It's locked. You have to help me.

00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,027

Why is it locked?

00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:42,656

No reason.

I keep private things in there.

00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,783

You know, I've been living here a while...

00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,077

...and I've never seen

what's in that closet.

00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,246

What is in there?

00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,290

Feminine stuff.

00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:54,960

Don't try to make me uncomfortable

with feminine stuff!

00:04:55,169 --> 00:05:00,424

Nothing in there concerns you.

If you love me, you'll just let it go.

00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,762

- Fine.

- Thank you.

00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,853

Love you.

00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:18,608

Hello, Chandler.

Lovely day, huh? You.

00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:24,906

If it helps, Alexandra's only been

massaging Monica for, like, three years.

00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:30,996

If! I said, if it helps.

00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,042

Why won't you let me massage you?

00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:38,962

Uh, well, it's... I'd be self-conscious.

00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,131

You're my friend. I'd be naked.

00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:45,177

We lived together for years.

I've seen you naked.

00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,805

That's different. We were roommates.

And when?

00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,643

I'm curious about the human body.

00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,856

You can understand

why this would be weird for me.

00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,817

I'm a professional

and I'm really good.

00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:05,697

If you're uncomfortable, we can stop.

Just give me a chance, okay? Please?

00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:08,533

Okay, if it means that much to you.

00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:12,162

It does. How would you feel

if you couldn't share your cooking?

00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:16,333

Or imagine how Ross would feel

if he couldn't teach us about dragons.

00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:21,546

- Dinosaurs.

- Potato, "potato."

00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,719

- Hey.

- Ross, the baby's kicking.

00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:30,013

What? It is?

00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:37,270

It's not kicking right now.

00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:40,982

Although we would love

to see you do that again.

00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,111

When was it kicking? What happened?

00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:48,073

Last night. I felt it. I went into Joey's room,

and he was sleeping.

00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,867

A dreamless sleep.

00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:55,288

My God, the baby's kicking.

That's great.

00:06:55,540 --> 00:07:01,128

I wish I would have been there to feel

the kicking for the first time.

00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:05,090

I got some stuff going on

in here if you want to feel.

00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:10,262

I don't want to miss any more baby

stuff. Here's my pager number.

00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:14,015

Anytime anything pregnancy-related

happens, use it. I'll be there.

00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:17,436

I don't care if it's 3 in the morning

and you want ice cream.

00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,104

Wow. Can I get a copy of that?

00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:26,945

PHOEBE: Are you under the sheet?

MONICA: Yes.

00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,239

[RELAXING MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]

00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,783

Great, let's begin.

00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:42,169

- How's the pressure?

- Ah.

00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:46,256

It's nice. Wow, Phoebe, you are good.

00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:49,301

Stating the obvious, but thank you.

00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:53,638

- And it's not weird, is it?

- No.

00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:55,557

[MONICA MOANS]

00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:58,852

That's right, you just enjoy.

00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:00,729

[MONICA MOANS]

00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:03,440

Oh, yeah!

00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:07,652

Oh, oh!

00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:12,824

- Oh, yeah!

- Okay.

00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:16,578

Oh, God, Phoebe!

00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:21,249

Oh, that's it! That's it, right there! Oh!

00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:27,172

[MONICA MOANS]

00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:32,802

[DOOR CLOSES]

00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:36,431

I wasn't trying to open your closet.

I wasn't trying, I swear.

00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:43,772

Wow. Monica runs a pretty tight ship here,

doesn't she? What are you doing?

00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,775

Monica has a secret closet.

She won't let me see what's in it.

00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:47,984

- Why not?

- I don't know!

00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:51,446

What could she possibly be hiding in here

what I can't see?

00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,865

I don't know. Ooh.

00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,535

I'll bet it's Richard.

00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:00,288

Why would Monica be keeping Richard

in here?

00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:02,749

Well, off the top of my head, uh...

00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:06,211

...maybe she's having her cake

and eating it too.

00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:10,006

You being the "cake,"

Richard being the "too."

00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:13,843

- Or...

- And here we go.

00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:16,054

I saw this movie once

where there was a door.

00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,722

Nobody knew what was behind it.

00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:23,520

And when they finally got it open, millions

and millions of bugs came pouring out...

00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:27,274

...and they feasted on human flesh!

00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:31,528

You know, it wouldn't kill you

to respect your wife's privacy!

00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:39,953

Stupid closet full of bugs!

00:09:41,038 --> 00:09:45,750

Joey, something feels weird

and not good weird. I don't... Whoa!

00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:48,753

Whoa! Don't worry.

When my sisters were pregnant...

00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:51,798

...they got every weird feeling

and it was always nothing.

00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,258

- Really?

JOEY: Absolutely.

00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:56,720

But we'll stop by the hospital

just to be sure. I'll page Ross.

00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:58,513

Okay, oh, God... Ow.

00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,641

Oh, okay, Rach, look at me.

Everything's gonna be fine.

00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,144

- Okay.

- Trust me. Take my hand. Here we go.

00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:07,105

Ow! Crushing bones!

00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,650

Good thing we're going to a hospital.

00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:20,619

- Hey. So?

- She's fine.

00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:22,954

She was experiencing

Braxton Hicks contractions.

00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,957

- Mild discomfort in the uterine wall.

- Hmm.

00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:31,171

Mild discomfort? I take it you've had

one of these Braxton thingies?

00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,964

- Everything is normal?

DOCTOR: Yes.

00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:35,550

- There's no danger to her or the baby?

DOCTOR: No.

00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:38,803

Contractions can be unnerving

if you don't know, but she's fine.

00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:43,975

Thank you, doctor.

And thank you for being nice and calm.

00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:48,188

Calm? I wasn't calm! I've never been

more scared in my life.

00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:53,401

- You said everything was okay.

- What do I know? I'm not a doctor.

00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:57,572

- But everything is okay. I'm fine.

- You sure?

00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:01,618

Yes. I got half a mind

to contract that doctor's uterus.

00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,829

Mild discomfort!

What's he talking about?

00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,831

- Is everything okay?

- Everything's fine.

00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:10,168

Your page said, "Come to

the hospital." What happened?

00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,754

Something called

Braxton Hicks contraction.

00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,215

Ugh, oh. Ha, ha.

00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:17,592

That's no big deal.

Most women don't feel them.

00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,969

Okay, no uterus, no opinion.

00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,723

Hey, uh, what's with the candy?

00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:27,227

When you beeped me I was at

the concession stand at the movies.

00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:31,231

- You went to the movies by yourself?

- No... Mona!

00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:35,318

- Oh, I gotta go back in there.

- Why? What's wrong?

00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:38,822

- Everything's fine, I just gotta...

- No, really, tell me. What's up?

00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,367

Look, I forgot my underwear.

00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:49,374

So thanks so much

for bringing her to the hospital.

00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,419

Oh, hey, don't worry about it.

No big deal.

00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:54,838

But still, it should have been me.

I'm the dad.

00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:58,299

If you have questions...

00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:00,802

...here's information on Braxton Hicks.

- Thanks.

00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,680

And by the way, you did the right thing

by bringing her in.

00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:07,517

- You're gonna make a wonderful father.

- Oh, uh...

00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:13,273

Hey, not as good as this guy.

He brought Twizzlers.

00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:23,032

- There has got to be a way.

- Easy there, Captain Kirk.

00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,537

- Oh, do you have a bobby pin?

- Yeah.

00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:31,833

Oh, no, wait.

I'm not a 9-year-old girl.

00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,252

Then why do you throw like one?

00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:38,840

- Maybe Monica has a bobby pin.

- Oh, sure, "Monica."

00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,845

So how's the hideously

inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?

00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:48,516

Really good. I should be ready

to kill myself any day now.

00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,894

Well, you sure found that quick.

00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,984

I just wish I didn't feel this way

about Rachel.

00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,153

I wish things could go back to normal.

00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:05,575

I mean, I love living with her,

and helping out with the baby is amazing.

00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,870

But now I think Ross feels left out.

00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,748

You know?

When I had to take Rachel to the hospital...

00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:14,501

...the doctor thought I was the father.

God, you...

00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:17,253

You should have seen

the look on Ross' face.

00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,340

By the way,

I have no idea what I'm doing here.

00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:22,300

For all I know, I'm locking it more.

00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,553

Hey, you try opening it with a credit card?

00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,847

- That's a good idea. Okay.

- Yeah.

00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:31,601

- So, uh, Ross is kind of bummed, huh?

- Ugh.

00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,646

- I ju... I feel terrible.

- It's not your fault.

00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,190

What are you gonna do,

not take her to the hospital?

00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:38,733

You're doing nothing wrong.

00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:42,862

Except for harboring an all-consuming

love for the woman carrying his baby.

00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:53,122

Richard, if you're in there,

could you pass me my credit card?

00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:56,709

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:13:56,877 --> 00:14:01,506

I gotta tell you, yesterday was amazing.

That massage felt so good.

00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,050

No, no, I got that.

00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,636

So, um, what do you say

we make it a weekly appointment?

00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:07,846

Okay.

00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:13,268

You should know though,

I've, um, raised my rates to $200 an hour.

00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:16,354

- Okay.

- I mean 500.

00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:19,399

- What?

- 600.

00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:20,608

What's going on?

00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:23,653

Oh, you make sex noises

when you get massaged.

00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,947

- Wha...?

- And it really freaked me out.

00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:29,659

After a while, I even tried to hurt you

and it just spurred you on.

00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:34,414

What? You're crazy. There's nothing sexual

about the noises I make.

00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,207

Really? There's nothing sexual

about this?

00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:37,584

[MOANS]

00:14:37,751 --> 00:14:42,922

Oh, God! Oh, oh, oh!

00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,507

What are you looking at?

00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:48,011

I mean, hi.

00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:53,474

This is so embarrassing.

I'm never gonna get massaged again.

00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:56,644

No, you can't let this stop you

from getting massages.

00:14:56,854 --> 00:15:00,440

Look, I have lots of clients

that make the same noises you do.

00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:03,234

- Really?

- Well, not clients. Lovers.

00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:09,782

Let's just... We'll try it again. Come back,

and we'll work through it.

00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:12,785

- You sure?

- Yes.

00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:17,332

- I guess.

- Great! Now, if you'll just excuse me.

00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:20,001

So did you hear something you liked?

00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:29,344

Hey, Ross, check it out!

I learned a new trick. Huh?

00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:32,639

- Hey, uh, I brought you some lunch.

- Oh!

00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:37,018

- That's so sweet of you. Oh, yum.

- Eh.

00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,437

Mm, mm.

00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:44,233

- Did you put pickles on this?

- Well, yeah.

00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:45,443

[GROANING]

00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,571

What? What? Rach, what?

00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:51,783

- What's going on?

- I made her favorite, tuna with pickle.

00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,452

Pickle? Pickle makes her sick.

00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,538

Giving her pickle is

like giving me salad.

00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:02,085

I'm sorry, I didn't know.

You gonna be okay?

00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:03,294

RACHEL:

I'll be fine.

00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:06,172

But someone make sure

that sandwich is gone when I get out.

00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:08,716

I'm on it!

00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:13,680

I can't believe this. I shouldn't be the one

making her throw up.

00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:18,267

- Dude, relax. It could happen to anyone.

- Not to you. You know this stuff.

00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:21,187

I don't know any of it

and I'm the father.

00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:24,232

I just... I wish I could be

more involved, you know?

00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,319

Ugh.

00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:34,951

Well, if anyone is keeping score,

I no longer eat tuna.

00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:39,580

Hey, uh, can I talk to you guys

for a second?

00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,833

- Yeah.

- What's up?

00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:46,713

Well... Sit down.

I wanna talk about our situation.

00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,674

Are you breaking up with us?

00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,844

The thing is...

00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:58,933

...because I live with Rachel,

I'm here for a lot of the stuff.

00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,685

Okay, and Ross...

00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:05,314

Ross is missing everything. So...

00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:06,983

Yeah?

00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:10,903

Maybe you two should live together.

00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:13,573

Are you asking me to move out?

Do you not want me here?

00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:18,745

No, I love living with you.

It just seems that...

00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:23,374

...if you're gonna have a roommate,

it may as well be the father.

00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:26,753

But, Joey, I don't think Ross wants me

to move in to his apartment...

00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,756

...and disrupt his life like that. I mean...

00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:33,593

Or he does.

00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:38,347

I would love to be around

for you and the baby.

00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:41,934

We can just try it,

like on a temporary basis.

00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:45,855

- But it's you and me.

- It wouldn't be anything romantic.

00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:50,234

And I'm dating Mona. Damn it, Mona!

00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,989

I was supposed to meet her

an hour ago. What is wrong with me?

00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:58,910

So, what do you think?

00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:02,080

- I don't know. Is it crazy?

- No. No, it's not...

00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,290

Joey, this is a smart idea.

00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:07,960

Well, I was due.

00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,713

- Okay, let's do it. I'll move in.

- Really?

00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:14,217

- Oh, Rach, that's great. That's great.

- Mm.

00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:16,844

[LAUGHING]

00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,766

[BANGING ON DOOR]

00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:24,644

[GRUNTS]

00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:28,189

Not too shabby.

I got this all off myself...

00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:31,109

...using my wife's tools.

00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,408

Oh, my God.

00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:40,827

[DOOR CLOSES]

00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:42,620

[GASPS]

00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,622

How did you get in there?

00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,582

[GIGGLING]

00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,961

You're messy.

00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:55,633

- No! You weren't supposed to see this!

- I married Fred Sanford.

00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,802

No, Chandler, you don't understand.

00:18:58,011 --> 00:19:02,181

[HUMMING "SANFORD AND SON"

THEME SONG]

00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:07,311

Okay, okay, fine! Now you know. Okay?

I'm sick.

00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:12,608

No, honey, you're not sick. I don't

love you because you're organized.

00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:14,944

I love you in spite of that.

00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:18,030

Really?

00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:21,868

- Promise you won't tell anyone?

- Yes.

00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:26,747

Now that I know, if I've got extra stuff

lying around, can we share the closet?

00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:31,210

Oh. Well, it's just, um...

00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:33,004

I'm afraid you might mess it up.

00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:41,804

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:46,934

So Rachel's all moved out, huh?

How you taking it?

00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:49,187

Well, uh, I wanted to have a few beers...

00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:54,400

...but, uh, I got rid of those because

Rachel couldn't stand the smell of them.

00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:58,362

I have thrown back a lot

of orange juice with calcium though.

00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:04,327

And, uh, it's a couple weeks past its

expiration date, so it's got a bit of a kick.

00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:11,375

- Are you okay?

- You kidding me? Yeah, I'm great.

00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,879

I'm, uh... I'm better than great. I am good.

00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:19,508

Now that she's gone, I can, uh...

00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:23,095

I can do all the stuff around here

that I couldn't do before. You know?

00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,181

Like, um...

00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:27,391

I can walk around naked again.

00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:30,061

You know? I can, uh...

00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:33,731

I can watch porn in the living room.

Right?

00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:36,359

This is, uh... This is good for me.

00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:40,863

I like being on my own.

I'm better off this way.

00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:44,367

I'm a... I'm a lone wolf.

00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:48,537

A loner. Alone.

00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:53,542

All alone. Forever.

00:20:56,213 --> 00:21:00,091

What's a wolf gotta do

to get a hug around here?

00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:07,932

[MONICA MOANS]

00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:11,185

- That's it, just relax.

- Unh.

00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,062

Oh, oh!

00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,731

- Come on, more.

- Oh, God!

00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:18,526

You like that, don't you?

00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:23,281

- Yeah, right there.

- Want it there? Take it there, baby.

00:21:25,158 --> 00:21:29,120

- Phoebe?

- Yeah, say my name. Say it.

00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:41,007

And now I'm going

to cover you back up.

00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:47,263

And, um, I won't be speaking with you

for several weeks.

00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:53,853

[English - US - SDH]